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<body class=" __plain_text_READY__">THE ONE WITH PHOEBE'S BIRTHDAY DINNER
<p><br>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p><br>Written by: Scott Silveri<br>Directed by: David Schwimmer<br>Transcribed
by: Christoph P<>per</p>
<p><br>[Scene: Central Perk. All except Chandler, plus Emma.]</p>
<p>Phoebe: Oh hey you guys, I couldn't get a reservation for the night<br>of my
birthday, so we have to do dinner Thursday night instead.</p>
<p>Joey: Thursday? But that's Halloween.</p>
<p>Phoebe: So?</p>
<p>Joey: [It's just] So spooky, that's all.</p>
<p>Ross: So, so, is Mike coming to dinner?</p>
<p>Phoebe: No! It's my first birthday with a boyfriend, and he has to<br>work.
Uch, I get mad at him, but I think it's a little to soon to<br>show my true
colors.</p>
<p>Rachel: Pheebs, I would make a reservation for five, because one of<br>us has
to stay home and watch Emma. (to Ross:) Which one of us should<br>go to
dinner?</p>
<p>Phoebe: Oh, Rachel!</p>
<p>Ross: Actually, um, I was thinking maybe both of us could go.</p>
<p>Phoebe: Oh, yay!</p>
<p>Ross: Thanks, I put a lot of extra thoughts on your gift.</p>
<p>Phoebe: Alright, okay, so we can all go now. That is fun. Hey, you<br>know
what? We all haven't been together the six of us in such a long<br>time.</p>
<p>Monica: What are you talking about? We're all together right now.</p>
<p>Rachel: Um, Mon, Chandler's not here.</p>
<p>Monica: Oh, dear god!</p>
<p><br>*Opening Credits*</p>
<p><br>[Scene: Tulsa, a conference room. Chandler is chairing a group
of<br>eight people.]</p>
<p>Chandler: Good morning everyone, it's nice to see our team together<br>for
the first time. Now, before we get started, are there any<br>questions?
(colleague raises hand) Yes, Ken is it?</p>
<p>Ken: That's right. Is it true, that the reason you are here in Tulsa<br>is
that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without<br>realizing what you
were saying yes to?</p>
<p>Chandler: (laughs) Well, don't believe everything you hear, Ken.<br>(both
turning away to files) But yeah, that's true. Alright, let's<br>get started, by
take a look at last quarter's figures. (The female<br>next to Chandler starts
smoking, towards heRoss:) Ah, Claudia, aren't<br>you supposed to blow smoke up
the bosses' ass?</p>
<p>Claudia: I'm sorry. Does the smoke bother you?</p>
<p>Chandler: No, no, no-no-no. I smoked for years, then I quit. Right<br>now, I
can't remember why. (to everyone:) You're not allowed to smoke<br>in this
office. Not right?</p>
<p>Claudia: Yes, in Oklahoma it's legal to smoke in offices with
fifteen<br>people or less. (passing the pack) Would you like one?</p>
<p>Chandler: Alright, lo...look. I don't smoke anymore. But if the rest<br>of
you want to light up, go ahead, it's fine. (everyone lits) So you<br>all smoke
then? That's almost rude, that I'm not.</p>
<p>Ken: That's not true. If you don't wanna smoke ...</p>
<p>Chandler: (loud) Ken, please! No, I can't, I can't smoke. If I smoke,<br>my
wife would kill me.</p>
<p>Ken: I'm sorry, but isn't your wife back in New York?</p>
<p>Chandler: I always liked you, Ken. (takes a cig)</p>
<p><br>[Scene: The Bings'. Monica in bathrobe, merely covered.
Someone'S<br>knocking at the door.]</p>
<p>Phoebe: (from outside) Trick or treat! (It's obviously Halloween eve,<br>the
night of her birthday dinner.)</p>
<p>Monica: (opening the door) Hey!</p>
<p>Phoebe: Ooh, and treat it is. (Monica's breasts.)</p>
<p>Monica: Hmhmm. (ties up)</p>
<p>Phoebe: Wow, so glad I changed. Almost weared my ??? outfit that<br>can't
contain my breasts.</p>
<p>Monica: This is not, what I'm wearing. I'm ovulating and Chandler's<br>gonna
be home any minute, so I thought we would try before dinner.</p>
<p>Phoebe: Ohh. Oh wait! (Jis) you guys won't be late for my dinner,<br>will
you?</p>
<p>Monica: Believe me, Chandler and I have not seen each other in over
a<br>week. We'll probably be the first ones there.</p>
<p>Phoebe: 'kay, see you there. Happy humping! (outside meeting<br>Chandler.)
Hey...hey! Oh, wow, somebody smoked out here? Oh my god,<br>don't people know,
you're not allowed to smoke in public spaces?</p>
<p>Chandler: Actually, in Oklahoma smoking is legal in all commune areas<br>and
offices with fewer than fifteen people.</p>
<p>Phoebe: You smoked!</p>
<p>Chandler: No! I just happened t'do a lot trivias about smoking
in<br>different states. For example, in Hawaii cigarettes are
called<br>Leyhallalookoos.</p>
<p>Phoebe: (smells at him) Chandler, you stink of cigarettes.</p>
<p>Chandler: Uch, do you think, Monica is gonna be able smell it?</p>
<p>Phoebe: Are you kidding? The woman has the nose of a bloodhound ...<br>and
the breasts of a great goddess.</p>
<p>Chandler: Pheebs?</p>
<p>Phoebe: (embarrassed) I'm gonna go. (leaves to stairs)</p>
<p>Chandler: (getting in) Okay, something to cover the smell ...
Oven<br>cleaner! (sprays himself, reads label) Unscented!</p>
<p>Monica: (naughty in doorway) Welcome home. I've missed you. join me<br>in the
bedroom?</p>
<p>Chandler: No thanks, I'm good.</p>
<p>Monica: (comes over) O-kay, so you wanna play it that way, do you?</p>
<p>Chandler: (shrinks back) Right. You know what? Actually I just get<br>off the
plane, so I'm feeling kinda gross. Maybe I should just take a<br>shower.</p>
<p>Monica: You don't need a shower.</p>
<p>Chandler: (still backs away) Alright, the truth is, I soiled myself<br>during
some turbulences.</p>
<p>Monica: What do I smell? (sniffs him) I smell smoke. Huh--did
you<br>smoke?</p>
<p>Chandler: Yes, but I just had one. Two. Two tiny cigarettes. Okay,<br>five. A
pack. Two pack...a...a carton. Three big fat cartons in two<br>days. (How many
cigs are there in one pack and how many packs in one<br>carton in the US?) But
it's over, I made a decision, I'm not gonna<br>smoke anymore.</p>
<p>Monica: (gets a pack out of his jacket)</p>
<p>Chandler: But, those are for you.</p>
<p><br>[Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Ross phones, Rachel and Emma are there.]</p>
<p>Ross: Alright, we'll just, uh, see when you get here. Bye. (hangs up)<br>Huh,
that was my mom, she's stuck in terrible traffic.</p>
<p>Rachel: Okay, well that's now the third sign that I should not
leave<br>Emma.</p>
<p>Ross: Oh, what were the other two?</p>
<p>Rachel: Well, let's see. The first one is: I don't want to. And, you<br>know,
I'm not going.</p>
<p>Ross: I know, it's the first time, we're leaving the baby and ...<br>hey, I
know how hard it is for you, but ... but Emma is gonna be<br>fine. My mom is
gonna be with her. She's great with kids.</p>
<p>Rachel: She is?</p>
<p>Ross: Ya.</p>
<p>Rachel: What about (?) Monica.</p>
<p>Ross: Hey, you only heard Monica's side of that. That little fatso<br>was a
terror.</p>
<p>Rachel: Ish. I just don't think I can bear it.</p>
<p>Ross: Rachel, I know that you can. And you should.</p>
<p>Rachel: Uch.</p>
<p>Ross: Really, it would be good for you and in fact, why don't you,<br>why
don't you go ahead to the restaurant and I will wait for my mom<br>and then I'll
meet you there.</p>
<p>Rachel: Oh-A.</p>
<p>Ross: No, no, really. You should go. Just go! Go! Go out! Really,
the<br>world is your oyster. Kick up the heels. Paint the town red.
(Slang<br>right?)</p>
<p>Rachel: You need to learn some new slang.</p>
<p>Ross: I'm serious. C'mon, you should go. Here. (shoves her outside,<br>while
she tries to stay) No, uh-uh, just go.</p>
<p>Rachel: What ... Oh! (points inside)</p>
<p>Ross: No! No, you know what? (closes the door) You [can't get in<br>there]
(?), the baby's fine, now squam (?). Yeah, [I told you a|Tell<br>your] story
walking. (?)</p>
<p>Rachel: I was just going to say that I left my keys.</p>
<p>Ross: Oh, (door is locked) holy moly are we in a pickle now.</p>
<p><br>[Scene: The restaurant. Phoebe and Joey are sitting alone at a
table<br>for six.]</p>
<p>Phoebe: Where is everyone? They're forty minutes late.</p>
<p>Joey: I know, u-uch.</p>
<p>Phoebe: I'm starving. I know we were coming here tonight, I ate<br>nothing
all day.</p>
<p>Joey: What about me, he? Only had one lunch today.</p>
<p>Waiter: (with British accent) Soo, are we expecting the rest of our<br>party
shortly?</p>
<p>Phoebe: Yes, they are expected presently. Yeah, yeah um, their<br>arrival is
in the offing.</p>
<p>Waiter: Right. We do have a table for two available, perhaps you<br>would be
more comfortable.</p>
<p>Joey: No, they're comin', we're waitin' right here.</p>
<p>Phoebe: Joseph! (to waiter) Thou needn't worry, they shan't be long.</p>
<p>Waiter: It's just that we do have some large parties waiting.</p>
<p>Phoebe: One really does have a stick up one's ass. Doesn't one?</p>
<p><br>[Scene: The Bings'.]</p>
<p>Monica: How can you smoke in this day of age? Do you not seen that ad<br>with
a little kid walks to grandpa, it's chilling.</p>
<p>Chandler: I messed up, it was a meeting, everybody was smoking.</p>
<p>Monica: So what? Don't you have any will power?</p>
<p>Chandler: Will power? I've watch home movies of you eating ding-dongs<br>(?)
without taking the tin foil off.</p>
<p>Monica: You said that was sexy!</p>
<p>Chandler: 'kay, look: Can we just drop this? I'm not gonna
smoke<br>again.</p>
<p>Monica: That's right, because I forbid you to smoke again.</p>
<p>Chandler: You forbid me?</p>
<p>Monica: Mhmm.</p>
<p>Chandler: You know, I flew a long way t see my loving wife? Is she<br>here by
the way?</p>
<p>Monica: Don't joke (?) with me, okay? I'm very, very upset right now.</p>
<p>Chandler: Oh, would you say this was the most upset you could be?</p>
<p>Monica: Yes.</p>
<p>Chandler: Then, I might as well ... (graps the cigs) do this (lights<br>one,
exhales). Not really sure what to do now.</p>
<p>Monica: Well, I'll tell you what we're gonna do: We are already late<br>for
Phoebe's birthday dinner, so you point out put out that<br>cigarette, we're
gonna put this fight on hold and go have sex.</p>
<p>Chandler: Fine. What!?</p>
<p>Monica: Sex! This is the last day I'm ovulating, and when we don't do<br>it
now, we'll have to wait till next month. (walks towards bedroom)</p>
<p>Chandler: You serious? (follows)</p>
<p>Monica: Oh yeah!</p>
<p>Chandler: Right, fine, I'll do it, but no talking.</p>
<p>Monica: Huh, and no cuddling.</p>
<p>Chandler: And no kissing your neck.</p>
<p>Monica: Oh good, I hate it when you do that</p>
<p>Chandler: And lots of kissing your neck.</p>
<p><br>[Scene: Outside Ross and Rachel's.]</p>
<p>Ross: Okay, well the ??? is not home.</p>
<p>Rachel: No. Uch.</p>
<p>Ross: Oh-oh, wait, my mother is gonna be here any minute. And she has<br>the
keys.</p>
<p>Rachel: Alright, I can't, I can't wait that long. You have to
do<br>something--knock that door down!</p>
<p>Ross: I would, but I bruise like a peach. Besides, y...you
know,<br>everything is gonna be fine. The baby's sleeping.</p>
<p>Rachel: What if she jumped out the basinet?</p>
<p>Ross: Can't hold her own head up, but yeah jumped.</p>
<p>Rachel: Oh my god, I left the water running.</p>
<p>Ross: Rach you did not leave the water running. Please, just pull<br>yourself
together, okay?</p>
<p>Rachel: Ah, did I leave the stove on?</p>
<p>Ross: You never cooked since 1996. (Actually Rachel cooked in "609 -<br>TOW
Ross Got High", first aired 1999-11-25.)</p>
<p>Rachel: Is the window open? Because if there's a window open, a bird<br>could
fly in there.</p>
<p>Ross: Oh my god, you know what, yeah, I think you're right. I think<br>..
listen, listen!</p>
<p>Rachel: Ubb.</p>
<p>Ross: A pigeon, a pigeon. (previously scared Rachel turns away) No,<br>no
wait, no-no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught<br>fire. The baby,
seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty<br>bird's aid. The eagle,
however, misconstrues as an act of aggression<br>and grabs the baby on its
talon. Meanwhile the faucet fills the<br>apartment with water. Baby and bird
still up lays (?) are locked in a<br>death grip, swirling around the whirl pool,
that fills the apartment.</p>
<p>Rachel: Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that's true.</p>
<p><br>[Scene: The restaurant with still just Phoebe and Joey.]</p>
<p>Waiter: Hello.</p>
<p>Phoebe &amp; Joey: Hey.</p>
<p>Waiter: It's been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to<br>a
smaller table.</p>
<p>Joey: Maybe we should just eat now.</p>
<p>Waiter: You can't order until your entire party has arrived.<br>Restaurant
policy.</p>
<p>Joey: Wha-a how about this: Another table leaves, right? But there's<br>still
some food left on their place, okay, what's the restaurant's<br>policy about
people eatin' that?</p>
<p>Waiter: Estrangement (?).</p>
<p>Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I'm gotta go to the bathroom.</p>
<p>Phoebe: No, you can't go. No-no-no, I can't hold this table on my<br>own. If
they ask me to move, I cave.</p>
<p>Joey: If you ask me to stay, I'll pee. (leaves)</p>
<p>Maitre D': Good evening, Miss. (Phoebe turns her head away) Miss?<br>(from
the opposite side) Miss? (ahe turns again) Miss!</p>
<p>Phoebe: Okay, fine, I'll move. Alright, you don't have to manhandle<br>me.
(gets up) Where? (he points at a smaller table) Okay. Thank you.<br>Wach.</p>
<p>Joey: (returns to their old table where elderly people are sitting<br>now,
sits) Finally you guys made it. (looks up, turns left to<br>Phoebe's chair)
Pheebs, who the hell--uhuhh!</p>
<p><br>[Scene: The Bings' bedroom, Chandler is undressing, Monica in
bed<br>already.]</p>
<p>Monica: Spend more time with the tie. That'll make a baby.</p>
<p>Chandler: Look, I can't do this. I can't make luv to you while
we're<br>fighting this way.</p>
<p>Monica: Oh sure, now you're Mister Sensitivity. But when you wanted<br>to
have sex right after my uncle's funeral</p>
<p>Chandler: That was a celebration of life. Alright, look, I'm not<br>gonna do
this. Alright, is this really the way you want a baby to be<br>conceived?</p>
<p>Monica: No, you're right. Mnya, we shouldn't do it like this. Huch.<br>For
what it's worth, I'm, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come down on<br>you so hard
about the smoking. So you had a few cigarettes, not the<br>end of the world.</p>
<p>Chandler: Mean it?</p>
<p>Monica: Yah.</p>
<p>Chandler: You are incredible. Unless, I...I'm not gonna smoke again.<br>And
if I do, I promise, I will hide it so much better from you. (they<br>kiss)</p>
<p>Monica: D'you want to?</p>
<p>Chandler: Yeah, let's celebrate life!</p>
<p>Monica: 'kay.</p>
<p><br>[Scene: Ms. Geller, Rachel and Ross storm into the apartment.]</p>
<p>Rachel: Och, god. (seeing Emma) Oh, thank god, you're okay. I'm so<br>sorry
we left you. Mom never gonna leave you again. Never ever ever<br>again. Uch.</p>
<p>Ross: Great. So let's get going?</p>
<p>Rachel: Oh no. I mean it. After what just happened, I'm never leaving<br>her
again.</p>
<p>Ms. Geller: I understand, seperation is hard. One time I was about
to<br>leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset, he took<br>off
all his clothes, tucked his ??? between his legs and cried out:<br>"Mommy, I'm a
girl, take me with you."</p>
<p>Ross: Somehow over time it got easier to be apart from you.</p>
<p><br>[Scene: Bings in bed, finished.]</p>
<p>Chandler: Uhh. You are welcome.</p>
<p>Monica: You know what? Let's not talk.</p>
<p>Chandler: What?</p>
<p>Monica: Uch. I am still so mad at you for smoking.</p>
<p>Chandler: But you said you forgave me. It was just a couple
of<br>cigarettes--no big deal.</p>
<p>Monica: Oh, blablablabaybaybay.</p>
<p>Chandler: Leave it.</p>
<p>Monica: I was just saying that because I was ovulating and you said<br>you
wouldn't have sex with me while we're fighting.</p>
<p>Chandler: You tricked me to get me into bed?</p>
<p>Monica: That's right, I got mine.</p>
<p>Chandler: I feel so used.</p>
<p><br>[Scene: Restaurant, still just the not-couple.]</p>
<p>Phoebe: Well, I guess they're not coming. You wanna just order?</p>
<p>Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! 'lright,<br>this is
gonna be fast, so try to keep uPhoebe: Risotto with the<br>shaped truffels and
the roasted rip steak with the golden<br>Chanderelles and a Bordelaise sauce and
that any that stuff I just<br>said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)</p>
<p>Waiter: Er--does not.</p>
<p>Phoebe: Tomato tart and which of the pastas would you recommend?</p>
<p>Waiter: Oh, they're both exclus...</p>
<p>Phoebe: Both it is, thank you.</p>
<p>Joey: Oh, uh, again. Can I make a special request: Can you
bring<br>everything as soon as it's ready? Appetizers, entrees, we don't
care.</p>
<p>Ross &amp; Rachel: (entering) Hey, hi, hi!</p>
<p>Waiter: I'll just wait to put your order in.</p>
<p>Phoebe: You guys are over an hour late. What happened to you two?</p>
<p>Ross: I'm so sorry ...</p>
<p>Rachel: We got locked out of the apartment, we ...</p>
<p>Joey: That's a great story--can I eat it?</p>
<p>Ross: And then Rachel wasn't sure she could leave the baby.</p>
<p>Rachel: N-it wasn't easy, but it's your birthday and I did what I got<br>to
do.</p>
<p>Phoebe: And that's Judy over there at the bar with Emma?</p>
<p>Rachel: Oh honey, this is for the best, thus I'm not distracted,<br>worrying
about Emma, how she's doing at home and I'm being completely<br>here with you
and, oh, she spit up!</p>
<p>Ross: What?</p>
<p>Rachel: She spit up. Judy! She spi...Judy! Look alive, Judy! (they<br>sit
down) Thank you.</p>
<p>Ross: Thanks. Oh.</p>
<p>Rachel: Oh, ooh, everything looks delicious. What should I ha-ave?<br>What
should I have?</p>
<p>Joey: (mumbling) Never hit a woman. Never hit a woman.</p>
<p>Ross: Y'know this ??? is incredible.</p>
<p>Joey: Ross bruises like a peach. He bruises like a peach.</p>
<p>Ross: Okay, I'll have the fixed salad and the duck.</p>
<p>Rachel: Yah, I'll have the soup and the salmon.</p>
<p>Joey: And remember whatever comes up first. Okay? And hurry,
because<br>..</p>
<p>Monica: (entering with husband) Happy birthday!</p>
<p>Joey: Son of a bitch!</p>
<p>Phoebe: Wher-where have you been?</p>
<p>Monica: Well, we had a little fight.</p>
<p>Chandler: I would never lie to get someone into bed.</p>
<p>Monica: You used to tell girls you were a Kennedy. (being sat down)<br>Ooh,
uh, thanks. Wow, little tight, isn't it? How d'you get a bigger<br>table?
You-you had a big table, but they made you move. Huh-huh, shut<br>up Monica.
Whoo, I suppose that Chandler will have the smoked duck.</p>
<p>Chandler: I suppose that Monica will have the ... manipulative shrew.</p>
<p>Waiter: I'll give you another minute.</p>
<p>Joey: Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after<br>the
waiter)</p>
<p>Ross: Rach, c'mon, Emma is fine. You're turning into an obsessive<br>mother.
Okay, you need to stop.</p>
<p>Rachel: Y'guys ever heard the story about when Rosses mom went to
the<br>beauty salon?</p>
<p>Chandler: You mean the lully story?</p>
<p>Ross: (childish) Huh-huh, they already know it.</p>
<p>Phoebe: You guys, we've been waiting for you for a long time, maybe<br>you
should order.</p>
<p>Joey: (returned) No, no, it's okay, I already told the waiter what<br>they
want.</p>
<p>Monica: Why would you do that?</p>
<p>Joey: Chandler, control your woman!</p>
<p>Rachel: (lifts for a toast) Okay, as everybody has ordered, I would<br>like
to start the celebration and make a toast ... to Phoebe. She<br>dropped her
sock.</p>
<p>Phoebe: Aw ... what?</p>
<p>Rachel: N-no, Emma dropped her sock.</p>
<p>Monica: Mom's here? I wanted to have lunch with her today, she told<br>me she
was out of town.</p>
<p>Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby's sock is on<br>the
ground.</p>
<p>Phoebe: 's a good toast.</p>
<p>Rachel: (to Ross) Could you please get her attention?</p>
<p>Ross: W-oa ... Mommy! (gestures to his not understanding mother)</p>
<p>Phoebe: (getting up) Oh, for god's sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick<br>up
the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody scared) I'm sorry, was that<br>rude?
Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt (?) the hideousness (?)<br>that is this
evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but<br>all I wanted to do
was have dinner with my friends on my birthday.<br>And you are all so late and
you didn't even have the courtesy to<br>call. (her cellular rings) Well, it's
too late now.</p>
<p>Ross: Well, ??? think that's us?</p>
<p>Phoebe: well, this is, this is, this is not over! (on phone) Hello?</p>
<p>Joey: (to Chandler and Monica) Well, what is going on with you two?</p>
<p>Monica: Uch, you see, I'm ovulating.</p>
<p>Chandler: Oh yeah, that's what she says. But maybe you're not<br>ovulating at
all, maybe it's just a clever ruse to get me into bed.</p>
<p>Monica: Yes smokie, that is what it was. I just can't get enough.</p>
<p>Chandler: (to Joey) You not gonna believe this: She lied! She tricked<br>me
into having sex with her.</p>
<p>Joey: So? Did have sex, right?</p>
<p>Chandler: What's the matter with me? Why I'm such a girl?</p>
<p>Phoebe: (returns) Okay, that was Mike.</p>
<p>Rachel: Phoebe, hi, we're so sorry. You're totally right. We are here<br>one
hundred per cent and we love you and we are ready to start your<br>birthday
celebration.</p>
<p>Phoebe: Mhuh, guys, that means the world to me. Huh, nkay, I'm gonna<br>take
off.</p>
<p>Rachel: What?</p>
<p>Phoebe: Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early. Wait.<br>Wait,
I'm not t--not that kind of girl that just ditches her friends<br>to be with her
boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye guys! (waves to<br>the bar) Judy! Bye.</p>
<p>Rachel: Oh thank god, if Phoebe's going, can we please take Emma home?</p>
<p>Ross: You know, I think that's a good idea--our babysitter just<br>pounded in
another Chardonnet. (both get up) Bye, y'guys.</p>
<p>Monica: Bye.</p>
<p>Joey: See ya. Well, this is just us.</p>
<p>Monica &amp; Chandler: Mhum.</p>
<p>Monica: So, I'm, I'm probably still ovulating. Do you want to give
it<br>another try?</p>
<p>Chandler: So you never had sex with a Kennedy, have you?</p>
<p>Joey: Do, do you gonna do it now?</p>
<p>Monica: We don't have much time. Once the egg decended the oviduct ...</p>
<p>Joey: No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes)</p>
<p>Maitre D': I sincerely hope the rest of your party is returning.</p>
<p>Joey: Nah, just me. All alone. (all the food is served) Dinner for<br>six for
one, uh, you boys are about to see something really special.</p>
<p><br>*Closing Credits*</p>
<p><br>[Scene: continues, Joey finished everything]</p>
<p>Waiter: How was everything, sir?</p>
<p>Joey: Excellent. The shrew in particular was exclusive.</p>
<p>Waiter: Well, I hope, you got some room left.</p>
<p>Waiters: (with birthday cake, singing) Happy birthday to you,
happy<br>birthday to you, happy birthday dear ...</p>
<p>Joey: Joey! Joey.</p>
<p>Waiters: ... Joey, happy birthday to you.</p>
<p>Joey: That's the best birthday ever.</p>
<p><br>*End*</p>
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