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Data/Friends/ToConvert/The One At The Beach.html
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<!-- saved from url=(0054)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season3/325toab.htm -->
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<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
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<title>The One At The Beach</title>
|
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<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
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|
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<body bgcolor="white" text="black" link="green" vlink="black" alink="yellow" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
|
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|
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<h1 align="center">The One At The Beach </h1>
|
||||
|
||||
<hr align="center">
|
||||
|
||||
<p>Story by: Pan-ni Landrum & Mark J. Kunerth<br>
|
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Teleplay by: Adam Chase<br>
|
||||
Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
|
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|
||||
<hr>
|
||||
<font size="3">
|
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|
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe is there. Bonnie is telling them of her
|
||||
sex-capades.]</p>
|
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|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (to Bonnie) So ah, your first sexual experience was with a woman?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> All right, I was 15, it was my best friend, Ruth, and we got drunk on
|
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that hard cider, and then suddenly, I don<6F>t know, we were, we were making out.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Tell it again. (pause, we see Rachel is not amused.) Seriously.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[cut to Rachel and Monica at the counter.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (to Monica) I mean is that woman capable of talking about anything else
|
||||
but sex?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, sure. Well y'know, earlier she was talking about geography.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Joey, she was listing the countries she<68>s done it in.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, I think we all learned something.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (entering, hurridly) Hey, you guys! Look what I found! Look at this!
|
||||
(She hands Chandler a picture) That<61>s my Mom<6F>s writing! Look.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (reading the back of the picture) Me and Frank and Phoebe, Graduation
|
||||
1965.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Y'know what that means?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> That you<6F>re actually 50?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No-no, that<61>s not, that<61>s not <b>me</b> Phoebe, that<61>s
|
||||
her pal Phoebe. According to her high school yearbook, they were like B.F.F. (Ross and
|
||||
Bonnie look at her quizzically) Best Friends Forever.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>All:</b> Oh!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> That is so cool.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I know! So this woman probably could like have all kinds of stories
|
||||
about my parents, and she might even know like where my Dad is. So I looked her up, and
|
||||
she lives out by the beach. So maybe this weekend we could go to the beach?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>All:</b> Yeah! Yeah, we can!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> (to Ross) Shoot! I can<61>t go, I have to work!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> That<61>s too bad.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (sarcastic) Ohh, big, fat bummerrr.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> So great! Okay! Tomorrow we<77>re gonna drive out to Montauk.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, Bonnie had sex there!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Rachel turns and gives him a look, and Joey quickly apologises.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><b>Opening Credits</b></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are waiting for Phoebe to arrive with
|
||||
the cab.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (watching a happy couple walk by, arm in arm) Would you look at them. Am
|
||||
I ever gonna find a boyfriend again? I gonna die an old maid.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> You<6F>re not gonna die an old maid, maybe an old spinster cook.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (sarcastic) Thanks!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey now besides, if worst comes to worst, I<>ll be your boyfriend.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(At that suggestion Monica starts laughing.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah right.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Why is that so funny?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> You made a joke right? So I laughed.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Ha-ha-ha. A little to hard. What am I not ah, boyfriend material?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, no. You<6F>re Chandler. Y'know, Chandler! (hits him on the arm)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, so we<77>ve established my name, and hit me. But theoretically
|
||||
y'know, I mean say we weren<65>t friends, say it<69>s a blind date. I show up at your
|
||||
door, and I<>m like (in a fake voice) <20>Hey, nice to meet, ya. Hey, oh-hey.<2E></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well I<>d probably be scared of a guy using a fake voice.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (walking up carrying a brown paper bag) Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, hey! Oh good, you brought food!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No, it<69>s just my luggage.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Phoebe drives up.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler, Monica, and Joey:</b> Hey!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Woo-hoo! All right! Yeah!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, I am having the best karma this week. First, I find this woman who
|
||||
knew my parents, and then my client with the fuzzy back gives me his beach house.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah? What about ah, that bike messenger you hit?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, I wasn<73>t talking about his karma.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (approaching) Hey! </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey-hey, check out the hat!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(She is wearing this <b>giant</b> straw hat, the brim on it must be at least, <b>least</b>
|
||||
foot wide.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What a minute, I know that hat! I was taken aboard that hat! They did
|
||||
experiments on me! I can<61>t have children!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Seriously, where did you get the hat?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ross gave it to me.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, I think she looks good.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohh, thank you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Buy it for ya, or win it for ya?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well excuse me, my fashion-impaired friends, I am here to tell you that
|
||||
hats are back.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> And this time, they<65>ve ganged up to form one giant, super hat.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: At the Beach, it<69>s raining cats and dogs as the gang arrives. Chandler and
|
||||
Monica are taking shelter under Rachel<65>s hat.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Go, go, go!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh yeah, now everybody wants to be under this hat!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(They get inside and notice on small problem.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oy!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What<61>s with all this sand? (picking a handful of sand off of the
|
||||
floor, which is covered in sand)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, yeah, Bob said there might be flood damage.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, either that, or he has a really big cat.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Phoebe Sr. house, she is a real estate agent and is trying to sell a house over
|
||||
the phone. By the way, it<69>s still raining outside.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> Well, yes, it<69>s kind<6E>ve an unusual house. It has umm, three
|
||||
beautiful bedrooms and ah, no baths. But y'know, the ocean is right there.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (at the door) Knock, knock, knock.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> (on phone) Ah, oh, hang on a second. (to Phoebe) Come in, come in.
|
||||
(on phone) All right, so think about it, and call me back. (hangs up)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (entering) Are you ah, Phoebe Abott?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> Ahh, yes.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hi Phoebe Abott, I<>m your best friends daughter!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> You<6F>re Erwin<69>s daughter?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, I-I mean your-your old best friend, here. (hands her the picture)
|
||||
Lily, from high school. Remember?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> Oh gosh, Lily, yes. Of course I remember Lily. I... Then you must be?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (points to herself) Phoebe. (points to her) Phoebe. Phoebe, yeah. She
|
||||
named me after you I guess.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> Uh-huh. Wow! Well, look! There<72>s Frank. (points to the picture.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yes!! Yes! Yes! Yes!! That<61>s my Dad, that<61>s Frank! Yeah!
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>m sorry I<>m getting all flingy.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> Take it easy--if you want, there<72>s cookies on the counter, or,
|
||||
or--sangria! (jumps up) I can make sangria!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No-no, sorry. Cookies are good, thanks. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> Oh.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (goes and gets some cookies) Well, so, umm, anyway umm, I<>ve been,
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>ve been looking for my Father, and umm, have you heard from him, or seen him?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> Oh no, I-I<>m sorry, I guess we lost track of everybody after
|
||||
high school.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (disappointed) Oh, okay. Well, so tell me everything about my parents.
|
||||
Everything.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> Ohh, well. Y'know we were always together, in fact the had a nickname
|
||||
for the three of us.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, what? What was it?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> The three losers. Oh, poor Lily. (Phoebe notices a picture on the
|
||||
fridge, takes it, and puts it in her pocket.) Ohh, y'know I-I heard about what happened,
|
||||
that must have been just terrible for you, losing your mother that way.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (happily) Yeah, no, it was great.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The beach house, it<69>s still raining. Chandler is building a sand castle,
|
||||
Rachel is doing Monica<63>s nails, and they<65>re all drinking margaritas, obviously
|
||||
bored.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (getting an idea) Hey, y'know what a really good rainy day game is?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I mean naked game. Strip poker, we should totally play strip poker.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>All:</b> No, no!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What are you crazy?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Come on! When you go away, you-you have to play, it<69>s like a law!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (to Monica) Allll done!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Aww, thank you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, who<68>s next?! (She looks around the room, and stops when she
|
||||
comes to Ross.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No-o-o! (Rachel gives him a <20>Please?<3F> look.) No way! </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Come on, please?! I<>m boredddd! You let me do it once before.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Ross shoots Joey a look, who shoots Chandler a look, who gives Joey an <20>Oh my
|
||||
God.<2E> look back.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah well, if ah, if that<61>s the rule this weekend... (She gets up)
|
||||
No!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes! (she starts creeping up on him)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Get away!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Just once! </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Stay away!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Take it like a man, Ross!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (he gets up and starts to run away from her) No! (in his escape attempt he
|
||||
crushes Chandler<65>s sand castle) No!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, come on!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Big bullies!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Ross dives over the couch, Rachel goes the other way, and lands up top of him.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Ow! Ow! Oh, no-no-no!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(They get into a wrestling match, that ends with Ross making Rachel paint her forehead
|
||||
with the nail polish. They both end up lying next to each other, stop, and look at each
|
||||
other for a moment.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (entering) Oh, hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, so, how are we doing?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Bored and bored!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, you know what naked card game is never boring?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>All:</b> Noo!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (to Phoebe) So what<61>s Phoebe like?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I<>m kind, caring, and sweet. What<61>s Monica like?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Ah no, the other Phoebe, the one you went to go see.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ohh, I think she knows where my Dad is.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> What?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Really?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh well, where is he?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> She was acting, she was pretending like she hasn<73>t heard from him
|
||||
on years, but I found this picture on her fridge, and look (shows Monica)! Isn<73>t this
|
||||
what he would look like now?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (gasps) Totally familiar. (Phoebe shows the rest of them.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, yeah.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>The Guys:</b> Yeah!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, why would she lie to you?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I don<6F>t know, but we<77>re having dinner tomorrow night, so I
|
||||
figured, she<68>s gonna tell me then. Y'know maybe she just wanted to give him time to,
|
||||
buy me presents, I don<6F>t know! So, you<6F>re all bored?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>All:</b> Ohh!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> All right, I<>m gonna close my eyes and point to someone, and you,
|
||||
whoever I point has to come up with something fun for us to do, and we <b>have</b> to do
|
||||
it. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay, all right. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Fan out! Fan out!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(They do so, and Phoebe gets in the middle, closes her eyes, and starts spinning in a
|
||||
circle.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay. (Starts to spin) Ooh, y'know we could just do this. (She stops at
|
||||
Chandler)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, umm, we all have to play strip poker.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (jumping in triumph) OH YES!!!!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[cut to later]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Strip Happy Days Game?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, well, I couldn<64>t find any cards, so it was either this or Strip
|
||||
Bag Of Old Knitting Stuff.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Monica rolls, and Ross goes first.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, (reading the card) Fonzy gives you two thumbs up, collect two cool
|
||||
points. Yeah.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Monica, if you get five cool points, you get to make somebody take off
|
||||
one item of clothing. It hasn<73>t happened yet, but we<77>re all very excited.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, come on! (blows on the dice) Daddy needs a new pair of
|
||||
electromagnetic microscopes for the Prehistoric Forensics Department! (They all look at
|
||||
him, and he shuts up and rolls the dice.) (he moves his piece) Okay. (reading a card) Take
|
||||
Pinky Tuscadero up to Inspiration Point, collect three cool points!! Yeah! Which gives me
|
||||
five, and let<65>s see who is gonna lose their clothes. Ummmm, I think I pick our strip
|
||||
poker sponsor Mr. Joey Tribianni.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>The Girls: Woo-hooooo!!!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right, relax. It<49>s just a shoe.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>All:</b> Wooooo!!!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[cut to later in the game]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (reading a card) Okay, your band is playing at Arnold<6C>s, collect
|
||||
three cool points. Which means, I have five, and that means I get Joey<65>s boxers!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Fine. Gang up on me! I got you all right where I want you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Come on, take <20>em off!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Actually, y'know it<69>s kinda cold, so how about I keep my boxers on,
|
||||
and give you all a peek at the good stuff?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (getting up) All right, I<>m gonna make more margaritas! (She pours
|
||||
the rest of the pitcher into Ross<73>s glass.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Whoa, hey! What are doing? Trying to get me drunk?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I<>m just making margaritas.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I think I<>ll help her out. (She gets up to go over and help Rachel,
|
||||
and reveals she has no pants.) (to Rachel) What is going on here?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?! </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> You painting his toenails?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, come on!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Chasing him all around the room?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Monica, please?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> He<48>s totally flirting with you too.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (pause) He is, isn<73>t he? I don<6F>t know, I don<6F>t know, I
|
||||
mean maybe it<69>s just being here at the beach together or, I don<6F>t know. But
|
||||
it<EFBFBD>s like something... (she<68>s interrupted by the sound of Bonnie entering)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey! (Rachel is shocked) Hi Bonnie!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> Hi! My boss let me off early, so I took the train. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> What are you guys doing?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> We<57>re playing Strip Happy Days Game!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> Cool! I<>ll catch up! (She takes off her sweater.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><b>Commercial Break</b></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The beach house, the next morning. Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen
|
||||
eating breakfast.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> So, you still don<6F>t think I<>m boyfriend material?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Huh?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I saw you checking me out during the game last night.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> You didn<64>t even take off your pants.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, well, lucky for you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I don<6F>t know.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (entering) Well! Is everybody else having just the <b>best</b> time?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Shhh! Shhhh! Joey<65>s asleep.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Joey is sleeping on the floor and is buried in sand that has been carved into a
|
||||
mermaid complete with breasts.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> After he passed out, we put the sand around him to keep him warm.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well I assume the ah, happy couple isn<73>t up yet. Did you guys hear
|
||||
them last night?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, yeah, I don<6F>t know what they were doing, but at one point sea
|
||||
turtles actually came up to the house.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Ross and Bonnie enter)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Good morning.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>All:</b> Hey.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> Hey! How did everybody sleep?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, great.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Like a log.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross and Bonnie:</b> Us too.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I<>m going for a walk.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Joey finally wakes up.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (to Joey) Good morning. Nice breasts by the way.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Joey looks down and his look turns from shock to satisfaction.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The porch, Bonnie is coming back from swimming, Rachel is reading.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> Hey, what happened to you?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, ah nothin<69>. I just felt like hangin<69> out here and reading.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> Oh, the water was sooo great! We jumped off this pier and my suit came
|
||||
off.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohhhh, sorry I missed that.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> Yeah, Joey and Chandler sure are funny. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohh-ha-ha!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> I think I brought back half of the beach in my hair. It was so much
|
||||
easier when I used to shave my head.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Y'know, I gotta tell ya, I just <b>loved</b> your look when you were
|
||||
bald.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> Really?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohh!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> Because I think about shaving it all off again sometime.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Really?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> Yeah!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I mean you definitely should do that.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> Y'know what, I should do it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> Yeah, thank you Rachel, you are soo cool.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Awww, stop. Come on. Now go shave that head!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> All right.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(As Bonnie goes to do just that, Rachel smiles to herself, proud of what she<68>s
|
||||
done.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The beach house, at night. Phoebe is hangs up the phone, and gently pushes one
|
||||
of the stools over.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> What<61>s the matter, Pheebs?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> She cancelled! My namesake cancelled on me!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> What?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, she clamed she had to go out of town suddenly. She<68>s avoiding
|
||||
me, she doesn<73>t want to tell me where my Father is. She knows, and she won<6F>t
|
||||
tell me.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Aww Pheebs, that sucks!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, well, don<6F>t <20>Aww Pheebs, that sucks!<21> me yet. (she
|
||||
starts to leave)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Where ya going?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well, she<68>s out of town so, there<72>s gotta be something in her
|
||||
house that tells me where my Father is.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh, Pheebs, some people call that breaking and entering.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well, are any of those people here?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>All:</b> Oh, no!! No, no!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, look I-I-I do something nice, okay? I<>ll-I<>ll fill her
|
||||
ice trays.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(She exits just as Bonnie comes down the stairs, as bald as Michael Jordan.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> Hey, everybody!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>All:</b> Wow!! (they all recoil in shock and horror)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Wh-haa-haa! Look what <20>cha did! (Rachel has her hand over her mouth
|
||||
to keep from laughing.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> You wanna touch it?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Nooo, but it, but it<69>s great.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> Come on, touch it!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay. (He gently touches it.) You can feel all the bones in your skull.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is coming out to talk to Rachel.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hi.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she
|
||||
happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who
|
||||
was it? Oh, that<61>s right, that<61>s right, it was you!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> That was her idea, <b>I</b> just gave her a nudge.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> She said you gave her the razor!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> (joining them) Hey guys.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> So, anyone up for a midnight dip in the ocean?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Ahh, no, I<>m good.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> Okay, I<>ll see you in a bit.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, have fun! Wooo!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Come on see, she doesn<73>t look that bad.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> You can see the moonlight bouncing off her head! What the hell were you
|
||||
thinking?!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I don<6F>t know.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> You don<6F>t know?! Rach, you balded my girlfriend!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> All right! Ross, do you think it<69>s easy for me to see you with
|
||||
somebody else?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Y'know, hey! You<6F>re the one who ended it, remember?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, because I was <b>mad</b> at you, not because I stopped loving you!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> You still love me?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Noo.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> You still love me.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, y-yeah, so, you-you love me!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Noo, nnnnn. What does this mean? What do you, I mean do you wanna, get
|
||||
back together?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Noo! Maybe! I, I don<6F>t know. Ross, I still can<61>t forgive you
|
||||
for what you did, I can<61>t, I just, but sometimes when I<>m with you I just, I
|
||||
feel so...</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I just, I feel, I-I just...</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I feel...</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Ross leans in and kisses her. They both look at each other for a moment, and then
|
||||
embrace in a more passionate kiss, only to be interrupted by Joey and Chandler coming
|
||||
outside.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (to Joey) Noo!! I don<6F>t care! I<>m not, I<>m not gonna
|
||||
playing one-on-one strip poker with you for practice! </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Rachel and Ross both stop kissing, and quickly step back from each other.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> But I made cards!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well! Good night. (to Ross) I<>m going upstairs.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey and Chandler:</b> G<>night.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Rachel walks inside, stops, and turns back to look at Ross for a moment then goes
|
||||
upstairs.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (to Ross) Wanna play strip poker for practice?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Phoebe Sr.<2E>s house, Phoebe is breaking in through a window.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(She throws her bag inside, and starts to climb through the window. She gets halfway in
|
||||
and the window slams shut on her butt.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ow! My ass. Okay. Okay. (She manages to climb completely inside and the
|
||||
window slams shut.) Oh, shhh!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(She starts walking across the darkened room and hits her head on a wind chime hanging
|
||||
from the ceiling, to stop it from making a noise she grabs it and <20>Shhh<68>s<EFBFBD>
|
||||
it. She goes into the kitchen and finds Phoebe Sr.<2E>s appointment book, to read it she
|
||||
opens the freezer. Just as she starts to read, Phoebe Sr. jumps out from her bedroom with
|
||||
a coat hanger, startling Phoebe.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No! No!! It<49>s me! It<49>s me! I-I didn<64>t want to make any
|
||||
noise!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> Then don't break in!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I<>m sorry.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> What are you doing here?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I-I, came to fill your ice cube trays.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> What?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Umm, okay, okay, look. I took this picture from your fridge. Okay,
|
||||
because I know that this is my Father. Yeah, this is Frank Buffay and you are standing
|
||||
right there next to him. Now, look I deserve to know where I came from. All right? So if
|
||||
you can help me find my Father then you should! Otherwise, you<6F>re just mean! (pause)
|
||||
So, just tell me the truth!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> All right, the man in the picture is Chuck Magioni. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> My Father is Chuck Magioni?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> No, no, that<61>s just Chuck Magioni, I-I sold him a house last
|
||||
year! And I<>m very sorry, but I don<6F>t know where your Father is, and that<61>s
|
||||
the truth.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> But umm, you<6F>re right. I think that a person should know where
|
||||
they come from. Wh-which is why I ah, (pause) ahh, (pause) okay. I<>m your mother.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Heh?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> Y'know I wanted to tell you yesterday, but I just, I kinda felt all
|
||||
floopy, and... </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(At that Phoebe<62>s eyes open in shock.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with
|
||||
Rachel.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I<>m telling ya, you guys are totally getting back together!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> That<61>s not true! Her, she doesn<73>t even know what she wants!
|
||||
Rachel<EFBFBD>s still mad about the whole thing.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, then you gotta back away, all right? You don<6F>t need that
|
||||
kind<EFBFBD>ve hurt. Take it from a guy who<68>s never had a long term relationship......</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I know, but ahhhhhh!! I really wanna go up there and finish that kiss!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> (coming back from her swim) Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Ahhhh! (Steps away from her.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> You guys, the water<65>s great. You should really go in.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, ahh, no thanks, I just had an M&M.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> Okay, well g<>night.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Good night.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bonnie:</b> (kisses Ross) Don<6F>t be too long.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okey-dokey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> There is not <b>one</b> hair on that head.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, it<69>ll grow back, right? And she-she<68>s really fun, and
|
||||
she<EFBFBD>s cool, and-and I<>m finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel
|
||||
was so (makes an incoherent nasal sound), y'know? Y'know, and I<>m finally feeling
|
||||
sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her,
|
||||
and-and-and it doesn<73>t work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that
|
||||
again?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> So let me get this straight. If you go with Bonnie tonight, you<6F>re
|
||||
doing the smart, healthy thing and moving on.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Right, and you go with Rachel, Bonnie<69>s free tonight?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The hallway between the bedrooms. Ross is coming upstairs and stops between two
|
||||
doors. He looks at the one on the right, then he looks at the one on his left, thinks
|
||||
about it, and goes in the one on his right.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering the bedroom) Hi. (closes the door)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><b>Closing Credits</b></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The beach house, Chandler is simulating he<68>s coming to pick up Monica for
|
||||
a date. Chandler knocks on the door, and Monica answers it.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (in a fake voice) Hi there.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> That<61>s that weird voice again.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay! Okay! Let me try it again, you<6F>re gonna wanna date this
|
||||
next guy, I swear!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Monica closes the door, Chandler knocks, and Monica opens it to reveal Chandler on his
|
||||
knees.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hi! I<>m Dorf! You<6F>re date for the evening. (Monica walks
|
||||
away in disgust) Oh come on! Dorf on dating, that<61>s good stuff!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><b>End</b></p>
|
||||
</font>
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
</body></html>
|
Reference in New Issue
Block a user