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<!-- saved from url=(0053)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season1/108ndt.htm -->
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<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
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<title>The One Where Nana Dies Twice</title>
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<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
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<body bgcolor="white" text="black" link="green" vlink="black" alink="yellow" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
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<h1 align="center">The One Where Nana Dies Twice</h1>
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||||
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<hr align="center">
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|
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<p>Written by: Marta Kaufmann & David Crane<br>
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Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">guineapig</a><br>
|
||||
With Help From: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Rachel Stigge</a></p>
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<hr>
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<font size="3"><b>
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</b><p align="left"><b></b>[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break.
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||||
Shelley enters.)<b><br>
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<br>
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Shelley:</b> Hey gorgeous, how's it going?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Dehydrated Japanese noodles under fluorescent lights... does it <b>get</b>
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better than this?</p>
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||||
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<p><b>Shelley:</b> Question. You're not dating anybody, are you, because I met somebody
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||||
who would be perfect for you.</p>
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||||
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||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Ah, y'see, perfect might be a problem. Had you said 'co-dependent', or
|
||||
'self-destructive'...</p>
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||||
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||||
<p><b>Shelley:</b> Do you want a date Saturday?</p>
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||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes please.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Shelley:</b> Okay. He's cute, he's funny, he's-</p>
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||||
|
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> He's a he?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Shelley:</b> Well yeah! ...Oh God. I- just- I thought- Good, Shelley. I'm just gonna
|
||||
go flush myself down the toilet now...(backs out of the room) Okay, goodbye...</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><b>Opening Credits</b></p>
|
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there.)</p>
|
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|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> ...Couldn't enjoy a cup of noodles after that. I mean, is that
|
||||
ridiculous? Can you believe she actually thought that?</p>
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|
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Um... yeah. Well, I mean, when I first met you, y'know, I thought maybe,
|
||||
possibly, you might be... </p>
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||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> You did?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, but then you spent Phoebe's entire birthday party talking to my
|
||||
breasts, so then I figured maybe not.</p>
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||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Huh. Did, uh... any of the rest of you guys think that when you first
|
||||
met me?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I did.</p>
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|
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, I think so, yeah.</p>
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||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Not me.</p>
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||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Nono, me neither. Although, uh, y'know, back in college, Susan Sallidor
|
||||
did.</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> You're kidding! Did you tell her I wasn't?</p>
|
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|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No. No, it's just 'cause, uh, I kinda wanted to go out with her too, so I
|
||||
told her, actually, you were seeing Bernie Spellman... who also liked her, so...</p>
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|
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<p>(Joey congratulates Ross, sees Chandler's look and abruptly stops.)</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, this is fascinating. So, uh, what is it about me?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I dunno, 'cause you're smart, you're funny...</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Ross is smart and funny, d'you ever think that about him?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>All:</b> Yeah! Right!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> WHAT IS IT?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, I-I d'know, you-you just- you have a quality.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>All:</b> Yes. Absolutely. A quality.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, oh, a quality, good, because I was worried you guys were gonna be
|
||||
vague about this.</p>
|
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|
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<p>(Phone rings; Monica gets it)</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hello? Hello? Oh! Rachel, it's Paolo calling from Rome. </p>
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|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh my God! Calling from Rome! (Takes phone) <i>Bon giorno, caro mio.</i>
|
||||
</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (to Joey) So he's calling from Rome. I could do that. Just gotta go to
|
||||
Rome.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to
|
||||
Rome. (Showing off to Phoebe and Chandler) I'm talking to Rome.</p>
|
||||
|
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey dad, what's up? (Listens) Oh God. Ross, it's Nana.</p>
|
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|
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<p>[Scene: The Hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there, along with Aunt Lillian. Ross and
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||||
Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> So, uh, how's she doing?</p>
|
||||
|
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<p><b>Aunt Lillian:</b> The doctor says it's a matter of hours.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> How-how are you, Mom?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> Me? I'm fine, fine. I'm glad you're here. ...What's with your hair?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> What's different?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Nothing.</p>
|
||||
|
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<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> Oh, maybe that's it.</p>
|
||||
|
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<p>(Monica strides over to Ross, who is making coffee, and talks to him aside.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> She is unbelievable, our mother is...</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, relax, relax. We are gonna be here for a while, it looks like, and
|
||||
we still have boyfriends and your career to cover.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh God!</p>
|
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|
||||
<p>(They hug.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Cut to the hospital, later. Everyone is talking about Nana.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> The fuzzy little mints at the bottom of her purse. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh! ...Yeah, they were gross. Oh, you know what I loved? Her Sweet 'n'
|
||||
Los. How she was always stealing them from- from restaurants.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Not just restaurants, from our house.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(The nurse comes out of Nana's room.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Nurse:</b> Mrs. Geller?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Everyone stands up. Cut to Ross and Monica in Nana's room.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> She looks so small. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I know.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, at least she's with Pop-Pop and Aunt Phyllis now. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> G'bye, Nana. (She kisses her on the forehead.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Bye, Nana. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(He goes to kiss her but she moves. Monica screams. Ross shouts and stares in
|
||||
disbelief. Monica runs out of the room.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Ross!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Ross runs out too.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> What is going on?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Y'know how-how the nurse said that-that Nana had passed? Well, she's not,
|
||||
quite..</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> What?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> She's not- past, she's present, she's back.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Aunt Lillian:</b> (reentering) What's going on?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> She may have died.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Aunt Lillian:</b> She <b>may</b> have died?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> We're looking into it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Monica returns with the nurse and they go into Nana's room.)</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I, uh, I'll go see. (He goes in)</p>
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|
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<p><b>Nurse:</b> This almost never happens!</p>
|
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|
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<p>(Nana passes for the second time and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross and
|
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Monica go to tell the family)</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Ross:</b> <b>Now</b> she's passed.</p>
|
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|
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, and Rachel are there.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I just have to know, okay. Is it my hair?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (exasperated) Yes, Chandler, that's exactly what it is. It's your hair.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, you have homosexual hair.</p>
|
||||
|
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<p>(Monica and Ross enter.)</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> So, um, did she...</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Twice.</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Twice?</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, that sucks!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> You guys okay?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I dunno, it's weird. I mean, I know she's gone, but I just don't feel,
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||||
uh...</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Maybe that's 'cause she's not really gone.</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Nono, she's gone.</p>
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|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> We checked. A lot.</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hm, I mean maybe no-one ever really goes. Ever since my mom died, every
|
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now and then, I get the feeling that she's like right here, y'know? (She circles her hand
|
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around her right shoulder. Chandler, sitting on her right, draws back nervously) Oh! And
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Debbie, my best friend from junior high- got struck by lightning on a miniature golf
|
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course- I always get this really strong Debbie vibe whenever I use one of those little
|
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yellow pencils, y'know? ...I miss her.</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Aw. Hey, Pheebs, want this? (Gives her a pencil)</p>
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|
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Thanks!</p>
|
||||
|
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Sure. I just sharpened her this morning.</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Now, see, I don't believe any of that. I think once you're dead, you're
|
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dead! You're gone! You're worm food! (realises his tactlessness) ...So Chandler looks gay,
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huh?</p>
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|
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Y'know, I dunno who this is, but it's not Debbie. (Hands back the
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pencil)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Nana's house, Ross, Mrs. Geller and Aunt Lillian are going through clothes.]</p>
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|
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I thought it was gonna be a closed casket.</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> Well, that doesn't mean she can't look nice!</p>
|
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|
||||
<p>(They open a cupboard which, amongst other things, contains a chest of drawers)</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> Sweetie, you think you can get in there?</p>
|
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|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (sarcastic) I don't see why not.</p>
|
||||
|
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<p>(He tries pushing against the chest of drawers. Then he opens one of the drawers and
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climbs into the closet using that; he falls behind the chest of drawers with a shout.)</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Here's my retainer!</p>
|
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|
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to her father.]</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> I was just thinking. When my time comes-</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Dad!</p>
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|
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Listen to me! When my time comes, I wanna be buried at sea.</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Monica:</b> You what?</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> I wanna be buried at sea, it looks like fun. </p>
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|
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Define fun.</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> C'mon, you'll make a day of it! You'll rent a boat, pack a lunch...</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Monica:</b> ...And then we throw your body in the water... Gee, that does sound fun.</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Everyone thinks they know me. Everyone says 'Jack Geller, so
|
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predictable'. Maybe after I'm gone, they'll say 'Buried at sea! Huh!'.</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Monica:</b> That's probably what they'll say.</p>
|
||||
|
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> I'd like that.</p>
|
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|
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<p>[Scene: Chandler's Office, Shelley is drinking coffee; Chandler enters.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, gorgeous.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Shelley: </b>(sheepish) Hey. Look, I'm sorry about yesterday, I, um-</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No, nono, don't- don't worry about it. Believe me, apparently other
|
||||
people have made the same mistake.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Shelley:</b> Oh! Okay! Phew! </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> So, uh... what do you think it is about me?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Shelley:</b> I dunno, uh... you just have a-a...</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> ...Quality, right, great.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Shelley:</b> Y'know, it's a shame, because you and Lowell would've made a great
|
||||
couple.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Lowell? Financial Services' Lowell, that's who you saw me with?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Shelley:</b> What? He's cute!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, yeah... 's'no Brian in Payroll.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Shelley:</b> Is Brian...?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No! Uh, I d'know! The point is, if you were gonna set me up with
|
||||
someone, I'd like to think you'd set me up with someone like him.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Shelley:</b> Well, I think Brian's a little out of your league.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Excuse me? You don't think I could get a Brian? Because I could <b>get</b>
|
||||
a Brian. Believe you me. ...I'm really not.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Nana's Bedroom, Ross is holding a dress out from inside the closet.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (holding a dress out from inside the closet) This one?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Aunt Lillian:</b> No.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I have shown you everything we have. Unless you want your mother to spend
|
||||
eternity in a lemon yellow pant-suit, go with the burgundy.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Aunt Lillian:</b> You know, whatever we pick, she would've told us it's the wrong
|
||||
one.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> You're right. We'll go with the burgundy.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh! A fine choice. I'm coming out. (Starts to climb over the furniture)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Aunt Lillian:</b> Wait! We need shoes!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Ross falls back inside)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay. Um, how about these? (Holds out a pair)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> That's really a day shoe.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> And where she's going everyone else'll be dressier?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Aunt Lillian:</b> Could we see something in a slimmer heel?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (forages around) Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy.
|
||||
I can show you something in a silver that may work.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Aunt Lillian:</b> No, it really should be burgundy.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> Mm. Unless we go with a different dress?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No! Nonono, wait a sec. I may have something in the back.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(He finds a shoebox (out of shot), pulls it down and opens it. It is full of <em>Sweet
|
||||
'n' Lo</em>'s.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh my God..</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> Is everything all right, dear?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, just... just Nana stuff.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(He reaches up higher and knocks down another shoebox lid. <em>Sweet 'n' Lo</em>'s rain
|
||||
down on him)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><b>Commercial Break</b></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are preparing to leave for the funeral.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering) How we doing, you guys ready?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Mom already called this morning to remind me not to wear my hair up. Did
|
||||
you know my ears are not my best feature?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Some days it's all I can think about. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (entering) Hi, sorry I'm late, I couldn't find my bearings.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, you-you mean your earrings?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What'd I say?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (sticking her foot out) Hm-m.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Are these the shoes?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes. Paolo sent them from Italy.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What, we-uh- we don't have shoes here, or...?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (entering with Chandler) Morning. We ready to go?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, don't we look nice all dressed up?...It's stuff like that, isn't
|
||||
it?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(They all leave.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The cemetary, after the funeral.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> It was a really beautiful service.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> It really was. Oh, c'mere, sweetheart. (Hugs her) Y'know, I think
|
||||
it might be time for you to start using night cream.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Joey listens to his overcoat for a second and sighs, then notices Chandler watching)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> What?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Nothing, just your overcoat sounds remarkably like Brent Mussberger.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Check it out, Giants-Cowboys. (He has a pocket TV)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> You're watching a football game at a funeral?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No, it's the pre-game. I'm gonna watch it at the reception.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> You are a frightening, frightening man.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Rachel steps in a patch of mud)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh no! My new Paolo shoes!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, I hope they're not ruined.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> God, what a great day. ...What? Weather-wise!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I know, uh, the air, the-the trees... even though Nana's gone there's,
|
||||
there's something almost, uh- I dunno, almost life-aff- (Not looking where he is going he
|
||||
falls into an open grave)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>All:</b> God! Ross!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I'm fine. Just-just... having my worst fear realised...</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The Wake, at the Gellers' house. Ross is lying on his back, with Phoebe
|
||||
squatting over him, checking to see if he's injured.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, don't worry, I'm just checking to see if the muscle's in
|
||||
spasm...huh.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What, what is it?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You missed a belt loop. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh! No-n-</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, it's in spasm.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> Here, sweetie, here. I took these when I had my golfing accident.
|
||||
(Hands Ross a bottle of pills. Then turns to Monica and pats her hair over her ears)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Cut to Chandler and a woman, Andrea, reaching for the same slice of meat)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, no-</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Andrea:</b> Sorry- Hi, I'm Dorothy's daughter.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hi, I'm Chandler, and I have no idea who Dorothy is.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(They shake hands. Cut to Ross emerging from a hallway, grinning inanely. He is
|
||||
obviously very stoned)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey, look who's up! How do you feel?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I feel great. I feel- great, I fleel great.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Wow, those pills really worked, huh?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Not the first two, but the second two- woooo! ...I love you guys. You guys
|
||||
are the greatest. I love my sister (Kisses Monica), I love Pheebs... (Hugs her)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ooh! That's so nice...</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> ...Chandler! </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (hugs him) And listen, man, if you wanna be gay, be gay. Doesn't matter to
|
||||
me.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Andrea:</b> (turns to a friend) You were right. (They walk off and leave Chandler.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Rachel. Rachel Rachel. (Sits down beside her) I love you the most.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel: </b>(humouring him) Oh, well you know who I love the most?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh.. you don't get it! (Passes out and slumps across her)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Cut to Joey watching TV in the corner. He makes an extravagant gesture of
|
||||
disappointment.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Whaddya got there?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (hides the TV, but he still has an earphone) Just a, uh... hearing
|
||||
disability.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> What's the score?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Seventeen-fourteen Giants... three minutes to go in the third.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Beautiful! (Turns to watch with him)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Time lapse. A large crowd of men are now watching the game)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (still trapped under Ross) Pheebs, could you maybe hand me a cracker?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller: </b>(to Monica) Your grandmother would have hated this.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, sure, what with it being her funeral and all.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?',
|
||||
I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting
|
||||
your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> That sounds like Nana.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical
|
||||
of every single thing you say?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> ...I can imagine.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> I'm telling you, it's a wonder your mother turned out to be the
|
||||
positive, life-affirming person that she is.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> That is a wonder. So tell me something, Mom. If you had to do it all
|
||||
over again, I mean, if she was here right now, would you tell her?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> Tell her what?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> How she drove you crazy, picking on every little detail, like your
|
||||
hair... for example.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> I'm not sure I know what you're getting at.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Do you think things would have been better if you'd just told her the
|
||||
truth?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> ...No. I think some things are better left unsaid. I think it's
|
||||
nicer when people just get along. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Huh.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> More wine, dear?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, I think so.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> (reaches out to fiddle with Monica's hair again, and realises)
|
||||
Those earrings look really lovely on you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Thank you. They're yours.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> Actually they were Nana's.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(There is a cry of disappointment from the crowd of men.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Now I'm depressed! ...(To everyone) Even more than I was.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, the gang are looking at old photos.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey, who's this little naked guy?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> That little naked guy would be me.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Aww, look at the little thing.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Who are those people?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Got me.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the
|
||||
gang at Java Joe's'. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Let's see, 1939... yeah, 24, 25?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Looks like a fun gang. (They all look at each other and smile)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (looking) Nono, that would be me again. I'm, uh, just trying something.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>Closing Credits</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break as Lowell enters.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, Lowell.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lowell: </b>Hey, Chandler.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> So how's it going there in Financial Services?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lowell: </b>It's like Mardi Gras without the paper mache heads. How 'bout you?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Good, good. Listen, heh, I dunno what Shelley told you about me, but,
|
||||
uh... I'm not.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lowell:</b> I know. That's what I told her.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Really.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lowell:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> So- you can tell?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lowell:</b> Pretty much, most of the time. We have a kind of... radar.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> So you don't think I have a, a quality?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lowell:</b> Speaking for my people, I'd have to say no. By the way, your friend
|
||||
Brian from Payroll, he is.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> He <b>is</b>?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lowell:</b> Yup, and waaay out of your league. (Exits)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
</font><p><font size="3"><b>Chandler:</b> Out of my league. I could get a Brian. (Brian enters behind him) If I
|
||||
wanted to get a Brian, I could get a Brian. (Sees him) Hey, Brian.</font></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong><font size="3">End</font></strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
</body></html>
|
Reference in New Issue
Block a user