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Data/Friends/ToConvert/The One Where Ross Got High.html
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<!-- saved from url=(0053)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season6/609rgh.htm -->
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<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
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<title>The One Where Ross Got High</title>
|
||||
<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
|
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|
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<body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" link="#008000" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
|
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|
||||
<h1 align="center">The One Where Ross Got High</h1>
|
||||
|
||||
<hr>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>Written by: Greg Malins<br>
|
||||
Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<hr>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is mixing some Thanksgiving treat (I<>m
|
||||
assuming mashed potatoes) in a bowl.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (on phone) Okay, great! Bye. (Hangs up as Chandler enters.) So
|
||||
guess who<68>s coming to Thanksgiving dinner?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Sydney Portier? Hehheh.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Chandler throws his coat on the couch]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (not amused by Chandler<65>s joke) I miss Rachel. (To Chandler) No, my
|
||||
parents.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh! That<61>s great, they haven<65>t seen the place since I moved
|
||||
in!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Monica goes to fiddle with something on the table.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah, and y<>know, if you could not mention to them that we live
|
||||
together, that would be great! (Quickly trying to change subjects), I was thinking we
|
||||
would eat around four.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Monica goes to the stove.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (shocked at the news) Why can<61>t I tell them that we live
|
||||
together?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Because they don<6F>t know we<77>re dating. (Again, trying to
|
||||
quickly change subjects.) Do you think we should eat in the kitchen? (Goes to the sink and
|
||||
the stove to cook.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Why haven<65>t you told them?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Um, well, I was going to, I-I-I really was. But um, then somewhere, just
|
||||
out of nowhere, I didn<64>t.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Why haven<65>t you told them?! Wouldn<64>t they be happy?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (trying to change subjects, excitedly) So! Dinner in the kitchen around
|
||||
four! I<>ll see you then. (Pats Chandler on the shoulder and goes into the living
|
||||
room.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Why wouldn<64>t they be happy?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, um, because mainly, um, they don<6F>t like you. I<>m sorry.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What? What? Why?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Maybe because you used to be aloof, or that you<6F>re really
|
||||
sarcastic, or that, y<>know, you joke around all the time. Or that you take off your
|
||||
clothes and throw them on the couch.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Is this why they don<6F>t like me or why you don<6F>t like me?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Look, I know that I should<6C>ve told them. I know I shouldn<64>t
|
||||
care what they think. I<>m sorry. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Y<>know, it<69>ll be okay. It<49>ll be okay. Because when they
|
||||
come over, I will be all charming, I will make them fall in love with me, and then
|
||||
we<EFBFBD>ll tell <20>em.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> You really think that<61>ll work?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, I can be pretty charming, babe, I won YOU over, didn<64>t I?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (hugging Chandler) I don<6F>t think you<6F>ll ever get my parents
|
||||
that drunk! </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Joey and Janine<6E>s, Joey and Ross are playing <em>Sony Playstation</em>.
|
||||
Chandler enters.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey! (Sees Ross is there) Oh, good, Ross! You<6F>re parents like me,
|
||||
right?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Chandler goes to stand to the side of the TV.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (only half-paying attention) Yes, of course they like you!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well Monica just told me that they don<6F>t.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (not paying attention) Yeah, they don<6F>t like you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (annoyed) Do you know why?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I dunno, maybe it<69>s because you<6F>re really sarcastic. Or maybe
|
||||
it<EFBFBD>s cause you uh-</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (angry) Well if people don<6F>t know they shouldn<64>t just guess!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Joey and Ross get annoyed with Chandler's outburst.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> This is great, another Thanksgiving with nothing to give thanks for.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Maybe I could give thanks for you shuttin<69> up, eh?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Maybe I could give thanks by taking my <em>Playstation</em> over to my
|
||||
new apartment.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well maybe I love ya<79>.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> [mocks that last comment].</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Chandler starts to leave as Janine enters]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>Janine [to Chandler]: Hey.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Chandler exits]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Janine:</b> Hey guys!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Joey and Ross drop their video game controllers.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><strong>Ross:</strong> (trying to act manly in front of Janine) No I don<6F>t want to
|
||||
play video games, Joey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Janine:</b> Are you guys going to Chandler<65>s for Thanksgiving?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah! Yeah, why? What<61>s up?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Janine:</b> Well, me and my dancer friends are thinking of doing Thanksgiving
|
||||
uptown. I thought you guys might like to come.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> For real?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Janine:</b> No, but you should go to Chandler<65>s. Because none of us knows how
|
||||
to cook, we<77>ll probably just end up drinking all day.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ye-ye, we go to yours!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, see, we-we-we have to stop across the hall, because it<69>s my
|
||||
sister. But, uh, uh y<>know actually, growing up with a sister was nice because it
|
||||
really helped me understand women. Yeah, you-you should tell your friends that.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Janine:</b> (not sure of what to make of that) Okay.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Janine leaves]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Ross looks at Joey coyly.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> How you got three women to marry you, I<>ll never know.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler<65>s, Phoebe enters with a paper turkey.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>All:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey! Hey, Pheebs, check it out. Yeah, for my desert, I have chosen to
|
||||
make a traditional English truffle!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case
|
||||
Rachel<EFBFBD>s dessert is...[about to say <20>bad<61>] so good that I eat all of it.
|
||||
There<EFBFBD>s none left for anybody else!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel laugh]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Nothing.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><strong>Rachel:</strong> (worried) Nothing?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> No, sweetie, I-I trust you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> So, if-if I mess this up, there<72>s nothing else for dessert?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> You<6F>re not gonna mess it up.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you.
|
||||
Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butter<65>s done?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, it<69>s done about two minutes before it looks like that.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Joey and Ross enter.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><strong>Joey and</strong> <b>Ross:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>All:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, ooh the food smells great, Mon!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> And the place looks so nice!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, hey hey, Happy Thanksgiving everybody!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Happy Thanksgiving!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><strong>The Girls:</strong> Happy Thanksgiving!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, this has been great!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> See ya!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Joey and Ross go to the door, ready to leave.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Whoa whoa whoa! Where<72>re you goin<69>?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, oh, we did say we<77>d stop by this little thing Joey<65>s
|
||||
roommate is having.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, Janine, the really hot dancer girl?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Some would say she<68>s attractive, yes.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> And who else is going to be there?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Uh, some of her friends, yeah.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Her dancer friends?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (frustrated) Yes, all right? All of her hot dancer friends are gonna be
|
||||
there and they<65>re gonna be, be drinkin<69> and dancin, and we really wanna go!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (to Joey) Dude, we were good!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> You<6F>re not gonna go anywhere, you said you were gonna eat here, and
|
||||
you<EFBFBD>re gonna eat here!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, and-and leaving us to go see hot dancer girls is not very
|
||||
Thanksgivingy.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, but-but it is, uh, it<69>s just like the first Thanksgiving, when
|
||||
the Indians and the Pilgrims uh, sat down to dinner.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, yeah, and the Indians taught the Pilgrims what it meant to be hot in
|
||||
the new world!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Enter Jack and Judy Geller]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> Hello everybody!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Hi!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>All:</b> Hi!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Kisses and hugs are exchanged.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Dad [kisses Jack], Mom [kisses Judy]. Look! Look who it is it<69>s
|
||||
Chandler!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> (less than pleased) Oh yes of course, hello Chandler.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Mr. and Mrs. Geller, you look wonderful, it is great to have you hear,
|
||||
let us take off your coats!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Chandler goes to take off Jack<63>s coat. He then notices little white flakes on
|
||||
Jack<EFBFBD>s shoulders. He begins to wipe them off.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Whoa, snowing out there?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> (angry) No.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head
|
||||
of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is
|
||||
serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Monica, all this food looks wonderful, you should think about doing
|
||||
this for a living.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Chandler, trying to make nice with Jack, laughs at his joke and points at Jack.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Ok, I have dandruff. There<72>s no need to laugh and point.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Monica rushes over to Chandler<65>s side.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Dad, Chandler was just laughing at your joke.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> My joke wasn<73>t funny.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Phoebe walks from the living room to the kitchen and talks quietly to Rachel.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Rach, Rach, I just remembered. I had a dream about Mr. Geller last
|
||||
night.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Really?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so
|
||||
brave and so strong! And it<69>s making me look at him totally differently. Y<>know,
|
||||
I mean he used to be just, y<>know <20>Jack Geller Monica and Ross<73>s dad<61>
|
||||
and now he<68>s he<68>s <20>Jack Geller, dream hunk."</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[We see a shot of Jack stuffing his face with food. Some dream hunk!]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I dunno. Y<>know to me he<68>ll always be <20>Jack Geller, walks
|
||||
in while you<6F>re changing.<2E></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the
|
||||
window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Y<>know dad, Chandler is one of Ross<73>s very best friends!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, Ross sure is a great guy, y<>know I<>ve always felt that
|
||||
how a young man turns out is a reflection on his father.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> I always thought that too. Tell me, what does your father do?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Chandler and Monica exchange worried looks.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (worried) He<48>s the headliner of a gay burlesque show.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Rachel is in the kitchen fiddling with her English truffle. Joey and Ross, anxious to
|
||||
leave and go to Janine<6E>s party, are egging her on to hurry up.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Rach, you<6F>re killin<69> us here, will ya serve the dessert already?
|
||||
Those drunken dancers are waiting! </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (looking at her truffle) Look at it, isn<73>t it beautiful?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, yeah, what is it?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> It<49>s a truffle. It<49>s got all of these layers. First
|
||||
there<EFBFBD>s a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from
|
||||
scratch, [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then
|
||||
beef sauteed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like something<6E>s wrong.] then
|
||||
a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Joey and Ross make confused faces.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> W-What was the one right before bananas?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> The beef? Yeah, that was weird to me, too. But then, y<>know, I
|
||||
thought <20>well, there<72>s mincemeat pie,<2C> I mean that<61>s an English
|
||||
dessert, these people just put very strange things in their food, y<>know. [To Joey]
|
||||
Oh! by the way, can I borrow some Rum from your place?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Y-sure!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><strong>Rachel:</strong> (teasingly) And while I<>m gone don<6F>t you boys sneak
|
||||
a taste.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><strong>Joey and </strong><b>Ross:</b> (faking dissapointment) Okay.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Rachel leaves]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Beef in a dessert?! I- no no no, there is no way!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Ross goes to look in the magazine Rachel got her recipe from.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I know, and only one layer of jam?! What is up with that?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Ross looks up as if saying that Joey was weird. He begins flipping through the pages,
|
||||
only to find that they are sticky. So one page is overlapping another, making two recipes
|
||||
look like one.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh my God, the pages are stuck together!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (turning to Chandler in a scolding tone) Chandler!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh My God, she-she made half a English Trifle, and half a...Sheperd<72>s
|
||||
Pie!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (sad) Oh man! Now she<68>s gonna start all over! We<57>re never gonna
|
||||
get to introduce the hot girls to the new world!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No, no, we will. We just won<6F>t tell her she messed up.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Just let her serve the beef-custard thing?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, it<69>ll be like a funny Thanksgiving story!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (shrugging his shoulders to go along with it) Vomiting stories are
|
||||
funny...</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Rachel enters]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Joey, God, your apartment is like a hundred degrees!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Did-did it make you wanna walk around in your underwear?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><strong>Joey:</strong> (frustrated) Still not hot enough!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Joey leaves]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Phoebe walks over to talk to Rachel.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Rachel?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, look at him. Look at those strong hands. Oh what I wouldn<64>t
|
||||
give to be that can of (looks closer to see what Jack is drinking) condensed milk.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[We see a shot of Jack drinking condensed milk on the couch.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Ross and Judy enter the living room. Judy and Ross sit down on the couch beside Jack.
|
||||
Monica and Chandler are sitting on the coffee table.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Mom, uh, Chandler was just saying how beautiful your sweater is.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> Oh, thank you Chandler! I just bought it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, yes. Well it<69>s very beautiful. It<49>s cream-colored and
|
||||
tight [Realizes what he just said and looks worried. Monica and Ross also looked shocked.
|
||||
Judy and Jack give Chandler a very dirty look.] I don<6F>t mean tight, I mean it<69>s
|
||||
not too tight, not that I was looking at-[giving up all hope, he puts his head into his
|
||||
hands.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> What<61>s the matter with him?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> (whispers to Jack a little loudly) I think he<68>s stoned again.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (shocked) What?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><strong>Monica:</strong> (shocked) What?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (worried) Dude, I need to talk to you a sec.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Ross and Chandler get up and go into Rachel<65>s old room.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Rachel<65>s old room. It<49>s pretty much empty except for a few boxes
|
||||
against the walls. Ross and Chandler enter.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, I think I might know why my parents don<6F>t like you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> You do? Why?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, remember, we were young. Hey, Spring break, sophomore year, I got
|
||||
high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it and so I told them that you had
|
||||
gotten stoned and jumped out the window.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What?! Why did you do that?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I don<6F>t know, aheh, your<75>s was the first name that-that popped
|
||||
into my head, I<>m I<>m sorry. I-I didn<64>t think it would matter.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> How could it not matter?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> How was I supposed to know we<77>d end up being friends after college,
|
||||
let alone you-you would be living with my sister?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What about all that <20>friends forever<65> stuff?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I don<6F>t know, I-I was all high. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Rachel<65>s Old Bedroom, Continued from earlier. Monica enters the room.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Mom and dad just sent me in here to find out if you (points to Chandler)
|
||||
were trying to get Ross stoned!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in college and he blamed it on
|
||||
me!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Ross, I can<61>t believe you<6F>d do that!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> The reason we haven<65>t told them we<77>re together is because
|
||||
they hate me, okay? So will you fix this?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, okay, I<>ll tell <20>em it wasn<73>t Chandler who got high.
|
||||
Now who should I say it was?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> You! It<49>s not like it<69>s a big deal! You-you don<6F>t still
|
||||
do it or anything!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Alright, alright, now-now who should I say tricked me into doing it?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler<65>s, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his
|
||||
teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him.
|
||||
Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen
|
||||
fooling with Rachel<65>s trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Dad, please don<6F>t pick your teeth out here! Alright, and if
|
||||
you<EFBFBD>re gonna put your feet up, why don<6F>t you sit on the-</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> <strong>Monica, leave him alone</strong>!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Monica gives Phoebe a surprised expression and goes over to Ross and Chandler.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (to Rachel) Will you hurry up? Did you not hear me before when I told you
|
||||
that all of Janine<6E>s friends are dancers?! And that they<65>re going to be drinking
|
||||
alot!?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (sarcastically) No, I did, but tell me again, because it<69>s so
|
||||
romantic.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well you<6F>re whippin<69> so slow! Can<61>t you do it any faster?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Joey! Come on! I don<6F>t wanna make any mistakes, alright? This is
|
||||
the only dessert and if I screw it up everybody's gonna be like <20>Oh, remember that
|
||||
Thanksgiving when Rachel screwed up the trifle?<3F></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Joey gives her an understanding look.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> So why don<6F>t you just let me worry about making the trifle and you
|
||||
just worry about eating it, alright?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh I am!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Chandler and Monica are by the window pressuring Ross to tell his parents the truth.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Ross, if you don<6F>t tell them, then I will!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, fine!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Ross gets up to go tell his parents.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Joey rushes over.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ross! Can I talk to you for a second?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, uh, can it wait a second Joey? I have to tell my parents something. No
|
||||
it can<61>t? Okay.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Monica and Chandler make <20>What was that?<3F> gestures. Joey and Ross go into
|
||||
Rachel<EFBFBD>s old room.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Rachel<65>s old room, Ross and Joey enter.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay, look, I think we have to tell Rachel she messed up her dessert.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What?! What is with everybody? It<49>s Thanksgiving, not...Truth-Day!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Look, when everyone eats that...that...Banana-Meat thing, they<65>re all
|
||||
gonna<EFBFBD> make fun of her, do you want that?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, okay, we<77>ll just get everyone to act like they like it.
|
||||
That-that way noone makes fun of her and we still get to go to Sweet Potatoe Pie!
|
||||
(Referring to the dancers.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (scolding) Dude, they<65>re not objects.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Ross makes a sorry face.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Just kiddin,<2C> I<>ll talk to them, you distract Rach.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Joey and Ross go back out into the main area.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey Rach, can I talk to you outside for a second?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay...</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[The hallway. Rachel and Ross go out and they just stand there for a few seconds.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What<61>s up, Ross?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> So um...Thanksgiving. The holiday season is upon us, hm? </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> And um...You look nice today.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh no. No Ross, don<6F>t do this.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I just- I don<6F>t think us getting back together is a good idea.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (shocked) Eh?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be
|
||||
rough. Y<>know? And it<69>s probably really hard for you to be alone right now.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (cutting her off) You<6F>re alone.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No, I-I live with Phoebe. I mean you<6F>re [pity-tone] <strong>alone</strong>,
|
||||
alone. And I just-it<69>s just not the time for us. I<>m sorry.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (just trying to get out of the conversation) Ah well, can<61>t blame a
|
||||
guy for trying!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Inside Monica and Chandler<65>s. Joey is almost done explaining the situation to
|
||||
everyone.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to
|
||||
indicate to Ross that he<68>s not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if
|
||||
anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh,
|
||||
rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying <20>mmm<6D> and uh, oh oh!
|
||||
And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, I<>m not gonna pay for those acting classes anymore.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Ross and Rachel re-enter.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Rachel, there you are! Come on, let<65>s serve that dessert already!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Joey, you<6F>re gonna have to stop rushing me, you know what? You
|
||||
don<EFBFBD>t get any dessert.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (happily) Really?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No, I<>m just kidding I would never do that to you! Okay, everybody,
|
||||
it<EFBFBD>s trifle time!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> So, now, Rach, this is a traditional English trifle, isn<73>t it?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> It sure is.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wow. So then did you make it with beef or Eggplant?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Beef.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I can<61>t have any. You know I don<6F>t eat meat. (Faking
|
||||
dissapointment.) Ohhh no.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Phoebe gets up and goes into Rachel<65>s old room, a smile on her face.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Alright, Monica, I want you to have the first taste.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Really?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Rachel hands Monica a plate. Monica takes a spoonful of the whipped cream portion.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh oh oh, wait! You only got whipped cream in there! Ya gotta take a
|
||||
bite with all the layers!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Monica takes a bigger spoonful and a pea falls off]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Op! Wait, you dropped a pea.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Monica puts the pea on top of the spoonful and takes a bite.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (faking joy. Rubbing her stomach and smiling at the same time, like Joey
|
||||
said) Mmmm! It<49>s good!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Really? How good? </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> It<49>s so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one
|
||||
who<EFBFBD>s eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is.
|
||||
Especially Ross.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Ross glares at Monica.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Everyone takes a bite of their trifle.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>All:</b> (faking enjoyment) Mmm.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (clearly lying and hating the dessert) Yeah, this is so good, that
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>m gonna go enjoy it on the balcony so that I can enjoy the view whilst I enjoy my
|
||||
dessert.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Chandler exits to the balcony.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> (lying) I<>ve gotta call my friend Mary and tell her how good
|
||||
this is, from Monica<63>s room.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> (also lying) I<>ll help you dial.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Jack and Judy exit to Monica<63>s room.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (again, lying) I<>m gonna go into the bathroom so I can look at it
|
||||
in the mirror, as I eat it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Monica exits to the bathroom.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, now what was that all about? Is it-does it not taste good? Let me
|
||||
try it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Rachel reaches for Ross<73>s plate]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He
|
||||
looks like he<68>s going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has
|
||||
some left.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Rachel leaves to the balcony.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> It tastes like feet!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I like it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Are you kidding?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> What<61>s not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Gooooood.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Rachel and Chandler re-emerge from the balcony.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> ...So a bird just grabbed it, and then tried to fly away with it and,
|
||||
and then just dropped it on the street?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Chandler makes a fake "I know I couldn<64>t believe it either" gesture.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (lying) Yes, but if it<69>s any consolation, before the bird dropped
|
||||
it, he seemed to enjoy it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Phoebe comes back from Rachel<65>s old room.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Rachel, come here. (Rachel walks over to Phoebe. Chandler sits down on
|
||||
the lounge-chair.) Okay, I was just starting to take my Thanksgiving nap, and I had
|
||||
another dream about Jack.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, Phoebe, do I wanna hear this?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I dunno, let<65>s see! So, okay, I dreamt that we were gonna get
|
||||
married, and he left, becuz he had to go fight a fire. And, um, so okay, I went to a night
|
||||
club, and I saw him making out with a girl.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (humoring Phoebe) Oh my God, he dream-cheated on you!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, but then Jacques Cousteau came and he kicked his ass for betraying
|
||||
me! It was soo cool! Then, he took me diving and he introduced me to his pet seahorse,
|
||||
who, by the way, was totally coming on to me, and please, that is not gonna happen.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Jack and Judy come out of Monica<63>s room and sit down on the couch.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Boy, I<>m glad I wore the big belt today.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Five minutes ago, a line like that would<6C>ve floored me. Now
|
||||
nothing. Well, not nothing, I am still a woman.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Rachel and Phoebe walk into the kitchen. Monica comes out of the bathroom and goes
|
||||
over to Ross.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Ross? Let<65>s go.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh yeah, about telling Mom and Dad, I was thinking about maybe writing a
|
||||
letter.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Alright, you know what? That<61>s it. You<6F>ve had your chance.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Wha-what?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (out loud, to her parents) Mom! Dad! Ross smoked pot in college!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><strong>Mr. and </strong><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> What?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (in a 5 year old<6C>s tone) (To Monica) You are such a tattletale! Mom,
|
||||
Dad, you remember that-that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><strong>Mr. and </strong><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> Yes. (They look at Chandler angrily.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me.
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>m sorry.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> It was you?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> And Dad, y<>know that mailman that you got fired? He didn<64>t
|
||||
steal your Playboys! Ross did!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[The Gellers stare at Ross. Ross looks at his parents with an afraid, shocked look.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, well, Hurricane Gloria didn<64>t break the porch swing, Monica
|
||||
did!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[The Gellers glare at Monica.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the table, looking at the Geller siblings like
|
||||
they<EFBFBD>re weirdos.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Ross hasn<73>t worked at the museum for a year!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[The Gellers glare at Ross.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Monica and Chandler are living together!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[The Gellers glare at Monica, shocked]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Monica and Chandler both are shocked. Ross gives Monica a <20>take that!<21>
|
||||
look.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Ross married Rachel in Vegas! And got divorced! Again!!!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[The Gellers glare at Ross.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (joining in) I love Jacques Cousteau!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (reading the recipe magazine, finally figuring out that...) I
|
||||
wasn<EFBFBD>t supposed to put beef in the trifle!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (pounding the table) I wanna gooooooo!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> (rubbing her temples) That<61>s alot of information to get in in
|
||||
thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you weren<65>t
|
||||
supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, I<>m sorry, but I
|
||||
think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to
|
||||
hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> And we kinda figured about the porch swing.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> Ross, drugs? Divorced? Again?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> What happened son?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I-I uh, I got tricked into all those things!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> Chandler! You<6F>ve been Ross<73>s best friend all these years,
|
||||
stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now you<6F>ve taken on
|
||||
Monica as well. Well, I don<6F>t know what to say. You<6F>re a wonderful human being.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Chandler is mega shocked!]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Thank you!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I don<6F>t know
|
||||
what I<>m gonna do about the two of you!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (In a parent-like tone) I<>ll talk to them! </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>Closing Credits</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler<65>s, Everyone is helping clean the table.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You guys! It was bananas, cream, and beef! I-I just cannot believe that
|
||||
you ate that so that I wouldn<64>t feel bad!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well actually, I-I didn<64>t eat mine. It<49>s still in the
|
||||
bathroom.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No it isn<73>t, I ate that.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> (pointing to herself and Jack) Well we left ours in Monica<63>s
|
||||
bedroom.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Nope, got it and I got yours (Pointing to Jack) too. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
</body></html>
|
||||
Reference in New Issue
Block a user