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Data/Friends/ToConvert/The One Where They’re Up All Night.html
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<!-- saved from url=(0054)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season7/712tuan.htm -->
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<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
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<title>The One Where They<65>re Up All Night</title>
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<meta name="GENERATOR" content="Microsoft FrontPage 4.0">
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<meta name="Template" content="C:\Program Files\Microsoft Office\Templates\FRIENDS.dot">
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<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
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|
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<body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" link="#008000" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
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|
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<h1 align="center">The One Where They<65>re Up All Night</h1>
|
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|
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<hr>
|
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|
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<p>Written by: Zack Rosenblatt<br>
|
||||
Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
|
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|
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<hr>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The Building<6E>s Roof, the entire gang plus Tag are there to look for a
|
||||
comet. They<65>re looking for a comet on a roof of a New York apartment building. Yeah,
|
||||
that<EFBFBD>s realistic. You might as well look for the moon on a bright sunny day.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (looking up) Ross, when<65>s this comet thing start?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, technically it started seven <b>billion</b> years ago<67> (Well,
|
||||
technically you<6F>d be able to see it for days, well nights; that is if you could see
|
||||
it with all of the bright lights of New York.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>All:</b> (groaning) Oh no! Oh no! (They all start to get up and leave.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay! Okay! Fine, I<>ll stop! No teaching, okay? We<57>ll just watch
|
||||
the pretty light streaking across the sky. (Comets don<6F>t streak across the sky,
|
||||
meteors do.) Okay? Who<68>s official name is Bapstein-King.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>All:</b> Okay! Okay! (They start to leave again.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (looking up) There it is! Oh, look at that! Isn<73>t Mother Nature
|
||||
amazing?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (looking up with her) That<61>s a plane!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well, all right. 1700 bags of peanuts flying that high, that<61>s
|
||||
pretty amazing too.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tag:</b> Hey, I wonder if you can see my apartment from up here.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No. No, you can<61>t.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tag:</b> What?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh I don<6F>t-I don<6F>t know.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Man, look at all those stars! (Yeah, you can see what? Five of them from
|
||||
the city?) Infinite space. It really, really makes you wonder, doesn<73>t it?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (looking through his binoculars at a nearby building) Y<>know what
|
||||
else makes you wonder?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Huh?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Check out the rack on this chick! (Turns around to point it out to Ross
|
||||
and finds that Ross is glaring at him. So he quickly puts his binoculars to his eyes and
|
||||
starts looking for the comet.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The Roof, continued from earlier.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, we<77>ve been out here for two hours and we haven<65>t seen
|
||||
any stupid comets. Can we go now? I mean, Chandler<65>s getting chilly. (She walks over
|
||||
to where Chandler is bundled up in a big coat and shivering.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (with a quivering voice) No, I<>m not!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Then why are you wearing Monica<63>s jacket?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Because it<69>s flattering! (Shivers harder) Come on Monica! Come on
|
||||
Monica! (He goes inside.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah actually, I think we<77>re gonna take off too. We rented a movie.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh! I won<6F>t say, <20>no<6E> to a movie!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Uh Pheebs, we just actually kinda wanted to be alone.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Shh! Get me out of here.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh. (They leave, leaving just Joey and Ross.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (whispering) Ross!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Come here, check this out!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What? Is it the comet? (Runs over to where Joey<65>s standing.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No! No-no. Look, there<72>s a bug stuck in tar right here. (Bends down
|
||||
to get a closer look.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Joey come<6D>I can<61>t believe<76>I bring you here to see the
|
||||
Bapstein-King comet, one of nature<72>s most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care
|
||||
about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (standing up) Y<>know, there<72>s <b>two</b> women dude.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Show me where?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Right-right up here. (Starts looking at them through a piece of pipe.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (noticing the pipe and looking at the door) Joey where<72>s the pipe
|
||||
that was holding the door open?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (annoyed) I don<6F>t know! (Goes back to looking through the pipe.)
|
||||
(Pause) Yeah, I do.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Joey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> What?! All right<68>Hey! Don<6F>t look at me! You<6F>re the one who
|
||||
wanted to come up and look for some stupid <i>Burger King</i> comet!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> It<49>s called the Bapstein-King comet, okay? (Joey starts to groan.)
|
||||
Hey! Hey! Bapstein was a very well respected astronomer! </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (covering his ears and yelling) Oh no! No! No! (He starts banging on the
|
||||
door.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler<65>s bedroom, Monica is sleeping and Chandler<65>s
|
||||
sitting in bed, wide awake.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (whispering) Monica!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> She<68>s sleeping.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I know, just quick-quick question, quick question. Which one was <i>Deep
|
||||
Impact</i> and which one was <i>Armageddon</i>?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> <i>Deep Impact</i> was the one with Robert Duval, <i>Armageddon</i> is
|
||||
what<EFBFBD>s going to happen to you if you wake me up.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Sorry, I just<73>can<61>t sleep. Ooh! (Turns on the light and
|
||||
Monica groans.) Where is that book that you are reading with the two women who were
|
||||
ice-skating and wearing, wearing those hats with the flowers on it? Because every time I
|
||||
look at that cover I<>m like<6B>(Fake snores.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> It is in the living room where there is also a light! And no one will
|
||||
kick you in the shin.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What?! (Monica kicks him in the shin.) Ow! (He gets out of bed and
|
||||
heads into the living room.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, there is a beeping noise coming from the living room and
|
||||
Phoebe sleepily goes to investigate.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (crossing her fingers and closing her eyes) Please don<6F>t be a space
|
||||
ship. Please don<6F>t be a space ship. (She turns on the light and looks around and
|
||||
finds that it<69>s the smoke detector that<61>s beeping.) Oh thank God! (She moves a
|
||||
chair over and starts to investigate how to make the beeping turn off, in frustration she
|
||||
yanks the thing off of the wall. She sets it down and heads for bed, just as she gets
|
||||
there it beeps again. She opens the cover and removes the battery, but it still beeps.)
|
||||
How could you be beeping?! I just disconnected you! I took out your battery! How can<61></p>
|
||||
<b>
|
||||
|
||||
</b><p><b>Smoke Detector:</b> Beep!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Don<6F>t interrupt me!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The Roof, Ross and Joey are banging on the door.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Rachel!! Monica!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Come on!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Ross gets fed up with Joey<65>s banging and stops him by pulling him away from the
|
||||
door.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I can<61>t believe this!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right well, y<>know<6F>I guess we know what we have to do to get
|
||||
down.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (standing at the edge of the roof) Yeah, I guess we don<6F>t have a
|
||||
choice. (Screaming to the street) Help us! Please help us! We<57>re stuck up on the roof
|
||||
and we can<61>t get down!!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ross. I was thinking we could just go down the fire escape. (Points it
|
||||
out.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (To Joey) I know, I wasn<73>t finished. (Joey motions him to finish.)
|
||||
(Yelling at the street) But don<6F>t worry! We<57>re gonna go down the fire escape!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's kitchen, Chandler has a jug of milk in his hands and
|
||||
decides to make some warm milk. He opens up the cabinet to get a pot and manages to knock
|
||||
several other pots onto the floor making a lot of noise.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Shhhhhhhhh!!! (Monica enters) I<>m sorry, I thought maybe I<>d
|
||||
make some warm milk and it would help me sleep.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> With a wok? (Chandler<65>s holding a wok.) I thought you were going to
|
||||
read my boring book to put you asleep.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> It got interesting! Damn you Oprah!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Here, let me make the milk, I<>m up anyway.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, y<>know what we can do? Y<>know, now that we are up? We
|
||||
can just like talk to each other all night long, y<>know like we did when we were
|
||||
first going out. It<49>d be fun!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay that does sound like fun. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, so how bummed were you when the second sister died huh?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> The second sister dies?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (Pause) No. No, I-I was, I was talking about the book I was reading.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> The second sister dies in <i>Archie and Jughead Double Digest</i>?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> That<61>s correct.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Tag are making out on the couch.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You wanna go in the bedroom? It<49>s a little more comfortable.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tag:</b> Sure.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay. (They start to head for the bedroom) Oh wait! Umm, did you send
|
||||
those contracts to Milan?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tag:</b> If this is your idea of sexy talk? (Shakes his head that it<69>s not
|
||||
working.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No seriously, y<>know the contracts I gave you, did you overnight
|
||||
them?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tag:</b> What contracts?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay please tell me that this is just one of your jokes that you do that
|
||||
I don<6F>t get.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tag:</b> Like what?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Y<>know, like the thing when you put the phone in your pants? (He
|
||||
starts laughing.) Tag! I<>m serious! This isn<73>t funny! Those contracts absolutely
|
||||
had to go out today!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tag:</b> Rach, I<>m sorry, but you didn<64>t give me any contracts!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes I did! And I put a little <i>Post-It</i> on it that said, "Must
|
||||
go out today," and underlined today three times and, and then I put a little heart in
|
||||
the corner because I didn<64>t want to seem too bossy.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tag:</b> I<>m telling you, you never gave them to me.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Y<>know what Tag, if we went down to the office you would see those
|
||||
contracts sitting on your desk.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tag:</b> No, I would see you looking embarrassed because they are <b>not</b> on my
|
||||
desk!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Or maybe you would see me looking embarrassed because you are talking on
|
||||
the phone with your crotch!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tag:</b> You wanna go down to the office right now?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No! Come on its late, we<77>re not gonna go down to the office.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tag:</b> Okay I understand. (Sits down.) I wouldn<64>t want to be proved wrong
|
||||
either.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay get your coat! (They get their coats and start to leave. Rachel
|
||||
suddenly stops and sticks her hand up the back of her shirt.) Oh! When did you unhook
|
||||
this? (Her bra.) Nice work!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The Fire Escape, Joey and Ross have reached the last landing. Joey is tugging
|
||||
on the ladder that extends to the ground, but it won<6F>t budge.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right, it won<6F>t go down any further. It<49>s stuck.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Ugh. Well, we<77>re just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah.
|
||||
Now, we<77>re gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay?
|
||||
Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish
|
||||
red stuff in the middle. So, when <b>you</b> get down there<72><b>you</b> go up to the
|
||||
roof and <b>you</b> let me in.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh whoa-whoa wait a minute! I have to do it?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah! Oh yeah, you<6F>ll be fine! It-it<69>ll be uh, just like bungy
|
||||
jumping. Y<>know? But instead of bouncing back up you-you won<6F>t.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> What if I smack my head on the concrete?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, I<>m not gonna lie to you Joey, it<69>s a possibility.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (looks at the ground and at Ross) I don<6F>t know Ross! I-I tell you
|
||||
what, let<65>s flip to see who does it, okay? You-you call it in the air, all right?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, all right. (Joey flips the coin.) Tails! (The coin bounces off of the
|
||||
landing above them and falls to the ground.) Can you-can you see what it is?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay. Well, you be careful.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> What? No! No Ross! No-no! Stop! I<>m not jumping! Okay, look I have an
|
||||
audition tomorrow and I can<61>t go if I break my leg.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well I<>m not jumping! I have a son! Okay? He won<6F>t have a father
|
||||
if-if I die!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well all right so, it looks like we<77>re even!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is still investigating the smoke detector trying to
|
||||
figure out how to stop the beeping.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay. So, this wire is connected to this wire which plugs into here.
|
||||
(She points at each as she says it.) Okay so, to get the beeping to stop all I have to
|
||||
do<EFBFBD> (She picks up a shoe and proceeds to pummel the smoke detector. She then gets up
|
||||
and heads to bed, stops, quickly turns around, and is satisfied that the beeping has
|
||||
stopped.) Well done, Pheebs. (She resumes her trek to bed, but is stopped at the entrance
|
||||
to the hallway by the now steady and extremely loud tone emanating from the smoke
|
||||
detector.) (Yelling.) <b>What do you want from me</b>?!!!!!!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's bedroom, Monica is entering with a mug.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, here<72>s your milk. What do you want to talk about? (She sees
|
||||
that Chandler has fallen asleep and slams the door loudly to wake him up.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (startled) What? What? What?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Ohh! Ohhhh! Were you sleeping sweetie? I<>m sorry. Here. (Hands the
|
||||
mug of milk to him.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Rachel<65>s Outer Office, Tag and her are arriving.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tag:</b> Okay! Feel free to look, but I<>m telling you those contracts are not
|
||||
on this desk.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh <b>how</b> can you possibly know? Look at this mess, Tag! I mean,
|
||||
this is what I<>m talking about! You have to be organized! You<6F>ve got newspapers!
|
||||
You<EFBFBD>ve got magazines! You got<6F>Ohh! (Finds a picture.) And who is this chippy? A
|
||||
little young for you Tag, but whatever.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tag:</b> It<49>s my sister.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, very cute braces. Anyway y<>know what, the <b>point</b> is
|
||||
Tag, start looking because you are going to find those contracts on your desk. (She goes
|
||||
into her office.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tag:</b> So when do you imagine you gave them to me? In the morning or in the
|
||||
afternoon?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner came into my office after lunch. He put
|
||||
them on my desk, and then I put a <i>Post-It</i> on it (Looks down onto her desk and finds
|
||||
the folder with the <i>Post-It</i> on it that contains the contracts she imagined she gave
|
||||
Tag) that said, "Must go out today." So you just keep looking in there! All
|
||||
right?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Rachel<65>s outer office, Tag has finished searching his desk and Rachel
|
||||
comes out to try to plant the folder on the desk.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tag:</b> It<49>s not here.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Puzzler. A bit of a puzzle. Why don<6F>t you um, check the copy room,
|
||||
maybe you left the contracts in there?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tag:</b> How could I have left them in the copy room?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I don<6F>t know Tag! How can your genitals make phone calls? Okay?
|
||||
It<EFBFBD>s not a perfect world! Just go please.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tag:</b> Fine.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Thank you. (He leaves and she proceeds to plant the folder in his bottom
|
||||
drawer. She then picks up the phone and holds it to her breasts.) Hello? (Hangs up the
|
||||
phone.) I still don<6F>t get it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's bedroom, Chandler has his eyes closed, while Monica is
|
||||
fully awake.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Are you still awake?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah! You?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> You do know that was me who just said that right? (He doesn<73>t
|
||||
respond and she turns on the light, waking him.) Hey. As long as we<77>re both up<75></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (intrigued) Yeah? (Monica nods yes.) I hope you<6F>re not thinking
|
||||
about cleaning the living room.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The fire escape, Joey and Ross are still trying to figure out how to get down.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Man, I<>m starving! What the hell was I thinking at dinner?! "Do
|
||||
you want soup or salad?" Both! Always order both!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (looking in the window behind them) Y<>know, y<>know I<>m
|
||||
lookin<EFBFBD> and I don<6F>t think anyone<6E>s home here. I say we just break the
|
||||
window, crawl through, and-and y<>know explain later.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah? Really? No one<6E>s home?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I don<6F>t think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big,
|
||||
large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the
|
||||
landing.) When you get in there<72> (Joey nods his disapproval.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Phoebe<62>s apartment building, in desperation she has wrapped up the smoke
|
||||
detector in a blanket and is going to throw it into the trash chute.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, this is where you and I part ways. (She drops the blanket into the
|
||||
chute.) Noisy bitch!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's bedroom, Chandler is turning on the light to awaken a now
|
||||
sleeping Monica.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What?! What are you doing?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Do you know what just happened?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah. We-we had sex and then we fell asleep.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No. We were in the middle of sex<65>and <b>you</b> fell asleep.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Nooo! No, that<61>s not true. No, best time ever! Yeah, you rocked
|
||||
my
|
||||
world! (She turns out the light to go back to sleep.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (turning the light back on) Monica?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I was giving you some of my best moves, and you missed it. So please
|
||||
wake up so <b>we</b> can do it right!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay. Okay, I<>m ready. Come on big fella!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Give me the good stuff.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah! (Monica falls asleep) No! No! No! Don<6F>t fall asleep! Okay,
|
||||
I am going to make you some coffee. (Monica doesn<73>t move as he gets out of bed and as
|
||||
he<EFBFBD>s heading for the door.) And I probably won<6F>t spill coffee grounds all over
|
||||
the kitchen floor.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, I<>m up! I<>m up!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Rachel<65>s outer office, she<68>s returning with two coffee cups in hand
|
||||
to find Tag sitting there.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi! I got you some coffee. To, uh<75> (She looks for a place to set it
|
||||
on his messy desk and he clears a spot for her to set it down.) <20>fair enough. So! Do
|
||||
you got anything for me?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tag:</b> Still no luck.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh my God! Did you check your entire desk! Did you check <b>all</b> the
|
||||
drawers!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tag:</b> Do you want me to check again?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well yeah, I wish that you would. (He opens the top drawer.) Well, no
|
||||
it<EFBFBD>s not in there! (Closes it.) How about that drawer? (She points to the bottom one
|
||||
and he opens it. She doesn<73>t see the folder she planted and bends over to check.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tag:</b> Well, it<69>s not out here. Is there any chance it could be in your
|
||||
office?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (thinks) Y<>know, I don<6F>t-I don<6F>t know. Let me, let me
|
||||
check. (As she heads for her office, she stops glances over her shoulder at Tag, looks into
|
||||
her office, and finds the folder on her desk.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tag:</b> (smirking) Any luck?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Can I see you in my office for a minute?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tag:</b> (entering) Yeah? (She holds up the folder) You found them!! (Rachel is not
|
||||
amused, because she<68>s still going to try to blame him for her mistake like every
|
||||
<EFBFBD>good<EFBFBD> boss.) Y<>know what? I<>m not even going to gloat. I<>m just
|
||||
really relieved this whole thing is over.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You put these on my desk!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tag:</b> I did not!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh really? So you<6F>re saying they just <b>slid</b> out of your
|
||||
bottom drawer, crawled across the floor, then jumped on to my desk?! (I think <i>Dogbert</i>
|
||||
should have a line here.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tag:</b> How did you know they were in my bottom drawer?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (pause as she realizes her lame attempt to shift the blame has failed) I
|
||||
am so hot for you right now.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, there is someone pounding on the door and Phoebe sleepily
|
||||
walks over and answers it. As she nears the door, the pounding stops and she can hear the
|
||||
smoke detector<6F>s wail.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh my God! How did you get back here?!</p>
|
||||
<b>
|
||||
|
||||
</b><p><b>A Disembodied Voice:</b> (yelling through the door) Phoebe Buffay?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (scared) Fire alarm? (She opens the door to reveal a fireman holding the
|
||||
blanket with the smoke detector.) Oh! Hi, officer<65>fireman, can-can I help you?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>The Fireman:</b> We found your fire alarm in the trash chute.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> That<61>s not mine.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>The Fireman:</b> Yes it is.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> How do you know?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>The Fireman:</b> The next time you want to dump a fire alarm in a trash chute,
|
||||
don<EFBFBD>t wrap it in a blanket that says, "Property of Phoebe Buffay not
|
||||
Monica."</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay do you<6F>Okay, do you have a search warrant? Because the last
|
||||
time I checked this was still America!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>The Fireman:</b> Please reattach this, it<69>s against the law to disconnect them.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Fine! (She takes the blanket.) But please God; tell me how to stop them
|
||||
from going off!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>The Fireman:</b> There<72>s a reset button under the plastic cover.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> There<72>s a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and
|
||||
she goes to shut it off.) There<72>s a reset button! My God! Why didn<64>t I see that!
|
||||
(She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button,
|
||||
where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.)
|
||||
Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to
|
||||
the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh,
|
||||
God!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The fire escape, Joey is now hanging off of the bottom rung of the ladder that
|
||||
won<EFBFBD>t move and Ross is watching from above.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, do-do you have a good grip?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, I<>m going to start climb down you now.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right! Just hurry up!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay. Now-now-now should I climb down your front so we<77>re face to
|
||||
face or-or should I climb down your back so we<77>re-we<77>re butt to face.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I think face to face.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I would say that.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Face to face, yeah!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, here I go.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Ross steps onto the bottom rung of the ladder and then steps on Joey<65>s chest.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (grunting) Oh my<6D> How much do you weigh Ross?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I prefer not to answer that right now, I<>m still carrying a little
|
||||
holiday weight.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joey<65>s
|
||||
torso, but that doesn<73>t work very well and he<68>s forced to wrap his legs around
|
||||
Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Ross<73>s crotch.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Y<>know, when we talked about face to face, I don<6F>t think we
|
||||
thought it all the way through.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> So what do you want me to do?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, just shimmy down me and drop!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Ross continues his trek south, and when they get face to face.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hi.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hi.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (looking down) M-maybe I should hang and you can climb down me.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (angrily) Yeah? Maybe we should talk about that for a little while!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> It<49>s still looks pretty far!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> It<49>s not that far! Just drop!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Do not <b>rush</b> me!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Ross continues south and his now wrapped around Joey<65>s legs.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ross, you should know that my pants are startin<69> to come down and
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>m not wearing any underwear!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Ross panics and falls off, dropping to the ground with a huge crash.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oww!! My ankle! I really hurt my ankle! I think I twisted it when
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>Ooh, a quarter!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>Ending Credits</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's bedroom, they<65>re cuddling.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> That really was some of your best work.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hm-hmm, I told you! (Looks at the clock) I can<61>t believe that
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>ve only got two hours before I call in sick for work.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I have to be up in seven minutes.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, you<6F>re not gonna believe this, but if you have seven
|
||||
minutes<EFBFBD></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Really?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Do you wanna?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay! You get the vacuum cleaner and I<>ll get the furniture polish!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(She runs off leaving a stunned Chandler behind.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
</body></html>
|
||||
Reference in New Issue
Block a user