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<h1 align="center">The One With All The Haste</h1>
<hr>
<p>Written by: Wil Calhoun &amp; Scott Silveri<br>
Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
<hr>
<p>[Scene: Rachel<65>s bedroom; Rachel is awoken by a man singing in the next
apartment.]</p>
<p><b>The Singing Man:</b> (singing, duh) Morning<6E>s here! Sunshine is here! The sky
is clear, the morning<6E>s here! The morning<6E>s here!</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> HEY!! Do you <b>have</b> to do that? It<49>s Saturday!</p>
<p><b>The Singing Man:</b> Oh come on! Morning<6E>s here! (Starts singing)
Morning<EFBFBD>s here! The morning is here! Sunshine is here!</p>
<p>(Rachel slams shut her window and storms into the living room, where Joey and Monica
are eating breakfast.)</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I <b>hate</b> this apartment! I hate the color of these walls! I hate
the fact that this place still smells like bird! I hate that singing guy!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Are you kidding? I love that guy! (Starts singing) Morning<6E>s here!
Morning is here<72></p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Stop it! I will kill you. I hate the fact that my room is so small.</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey, I have all the space I need. Just do what I did.</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Monica, you don<6F>t even have a bed, you sleep in a ball on the
floor!</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> Y<>know what? I am <b>really</b> tired of your bellyaching! Okay,
I-I worked really hard at making this a nice place for us to live!</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I<>m sorry. I<>m so sorry.</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay.</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> See, this is a <b>great</b> apartment.</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> Shut up! This place is a hole!</p>
<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
<p>[Scene: Ross<73>s bedroom; Ross and Emily are making out. Ross as a new feature.]</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> Oh, blimey, I still can<61>t believe you<6F>ve got an earring!</p>
<p>(Yep, it<69>s a little gold loop.)</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Huh? I know, I know. Who am I? David Bowe? (Shakes his head around,
pretending like he<68>s jamming.)</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> He does that?!</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh, I don<6F>t know, whatever.</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> I think it makes you look really dangerous.</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, I know. Y<>know what, I never would<6C>ve gotten this if it
weren<EFBFBD>t for you. No really, when I<>m with you I<>m-I<>m like this whole
other guy, I <b>love</b> that guy! I mean, I love you too, a lot, but that guy! I-I love
that guy!</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> I love both of you!</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah?</p>
<p>(They kiss.)</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> I wish I didn<64>t have to go.</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Then don<6F>t. Stay here. Just don<6F>t go so soon to London, just one
more day.</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> Ohh, Ross, please!</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> One more day, seriously/</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> Don<6F>t do this to me, again. You<6F>d know I<>d stay here in a
minute, but I<>d really miss so much work, they<65>ll fire me.</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> So, then you can stay as long as you want.</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> I wish I could.</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh no. Don<6F>t, don<6F>t, don<6F>t start packing. Come on! (She
puts some clothes into her bag, and Ross throws them out.)</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> I don<6F>t think you understand packing. Look, I just don<6F>t want
to leave it to the last minute. Last time I left in such a rush, I left my knickers here.</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, I know, I uh, I tried them on.</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> You didn<64>t!</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> No. No, I didn<64>t. I didn<64>t want to be <b>that</b> guy.</p>
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are watching
one of those Kung Fu movies and imitating the moves.]</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (entering, wearing Santa pants) Hello!</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Ho! Ho! Ho!</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Excuse me.</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Your pants!</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, yeah! You like <20>em? I just, I went to a used clothes store and
got a bunch of maternity stuff. These are sooo comfortable!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Uhh, Pheebs, those are uh, those are Santa pants.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What?</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Santa pants. (Phoebe still doesn<73>t get it.) Santa Claus<75>s
pants.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Nuh-uh! They<65>re maternity pants. They even came with a list of baby
names. (Pulls out a sheet of paper which lists who<68>s been naughty and who<68>s been
nice.) See, these names are good, and these names are bad. (Finally, she figures it out.)
Ohh.</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (entering) Hey!</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> (entering) Hey!</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> So<53>Hey, Pheebs! So, how are the elves?</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I don<6F>t know! How are the-the-the-the, y<>know<6F>You<6F>re
clothes aren<65>t funny.</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey, guys, what-what should I wear to a Knicks game?</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Uhh, a T-shirt that says, "I don<6F>t belong here."</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> You have Knicks tickets?</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, my mom got my dad<61>s season tickets in the divorce, so she
just gave them to me.</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah, apparently, they<65>re pretty good seats.</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah.</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> (examining the tickets) Oh my God! Those are almost right on the floor!</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Do you guys want these?</p>
<b>
</b><p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah!</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah we do!</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohh, well you got <20>em.</p>
<b>
</b><p><b>Both:</b> All right!</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Just give us our apartment back!</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Boy! I didn<64>t see that coming!</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Are you serious?</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, come on! We know what these are worth.</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah, what, do you think we<77>re stupid?</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> You<6F>re not stupid. You<6F>re meaner than I thought.</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> What do you say?</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Forget it! Okay, I<>m not giving up my bachelor pad for some
basketball seats!</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You<6F>re bachelor pad?!</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> Have you even had a girl up here?</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No. But uh, Joey has, and I usually talk to them in the morning time.</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, you do!</p>
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is whining to Chandler about the tickets.]</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Come on!</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (ignoring him) Yes, Gunther, can I get two cups of chino, please?</p>
<p><b>Gunther:</b> Good one.</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Come on, season tickets! Season tickets, do you know what that means?</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Forget it! Okay, I<>m not giving up the apartment.</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh come<6D>look, when I was a kid my dad<61>s company gave season
tickets to the number one salesman every year, all right? My dad <b>never</b> won! Of
course, he wasn<73>t in the sales division, but still, I never ever, ever forgot that!</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering) Hey, guys! (They both notice his new little friend)</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey!</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh my God!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> We don<6F>t make enough fun of you already?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh yeah, Emily convinced me to do it.</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> You do know that Wham broke up?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> I like it, and Emily likes it, and that<61>s what counts. So uh, how are
you guys doing?</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh-no, don<6F>t try and talk all normal with that thing in your ear.</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Where is Emily?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Ugh, she<68>s saying good-bye to her uncle.</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Man, didn<64>t she like just get here?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah!! Yeah!</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Easy tiger.</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> I just, I hate this so much! I mean, every time I go pick her up at the
airport, it<69>s-it<69>s so great. But at the same time I<>m thinking, "Well,
I<EFBFBD>m gonna be right back there in a couple of days, dropping her off."</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> So what are you going to do?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Nothing! There<72>s nothing to do! I mean, she lives there, I live here.
I mean, she-she<68>d have to uh, move here. She <b>should</b> move here!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> What?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> I could ask her to live with me!</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Are you serious?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> I mean, why not! I mean, I mean why not?!</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Because you<6F>ve only known her for six weeks! Okay, I<>ve got
a carton of milk in my fridge I<>ve had a longer relationship with!</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Look guys, when I<>m with her it<69>s-it<69>s-it<69>s like she
brings this-this-this great side out of me. I mean I-I-I love her, y<>know?</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> And I love the milk! But, I<>m not gonna some British girl to move
in with me! (Realizes that made no sense.) Joey, you say things now.</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right look, Ross, he<68>s right. Emily<6C>s great, she<68>s
great! But this way too soon, you<6F>re only gonna scare her!</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> I don<6F>t want to do that.</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> No! You don<6F>t want to wreck it, you don<6F>t want to go to fast!</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, no, you<6F>re right, I know, you<6F>re right, I<>m not,
I<EFBFBD>m not gonna do it. All right, thanks guys. (Gets up to leave.)</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, no problem, just remember to wake us up before you go-go.</p>
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that same day. Joey and
Chandler are eating pizza, and Phoebe is trying to knit something.]</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> That<61>s too hard. Too hard!</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> (entering with Rachel) All right boys, last chance for the tickets!</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Or I<>ll give them to my new boyfriend, Joshua.</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No thank you.</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Wait-wait-wait-wait! (To Chandler) Come on! Come on, let<65>s trade! The
timing<EFBFBD>s perfect, I just clogged the toilet! </p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Look, I want those basketball seats as much as you do! Okay, but we
can<EFBFBD>t leave in the small apartment after we<77>ve lived here! Didn<64>t you ever
read <i>Flowers for Algernon</i>?</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yes! Didn<64>t you ever read <i>Sports Illustrated</i>?! No! I
didn<EFBFBD>t read yours! But come on, we can go to the game tonight!</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Look, the only way I will even consider this is if they offer a lot
more than just season seats.</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> It<49>s the Knicks!</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Screw the Knicks!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Whoa!</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I didn<64>t mean that. I just meant that the apartment is worth so
much more.</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Huh.</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> And the Knicks rule all.</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, the Knicks rule all!</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey, so? Are you gonna do it?</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No. No. We<57>re not gonna do that, y<>know why? Because its not
an even trade.</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> All right, okay, look, what if you could keep the apartment and get the
tickets?</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Done!</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Let me finish. </p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh. </p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I<>m talking about a bet, winner takes all.</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ooh, we could end up with nothing.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Or you could end up with everything.</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ooh, I like that.</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> All right, so what do you say?</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No!</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, just do it!!</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Op, op, I<>m convinced!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Come on man, you know I<>d do it for you! Because, you<6F>re my best
friend.</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> All right, but you can<61>t use that again for a whole year.
I<EFBFBD>m in.</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right!</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ooh, this is so exciting! Ooh, God, what are you going to bet?</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, okay, well, I think we should let Phoebe decide, because she<68>s
the only who<68>s impartial, and she<68>s so pretty.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay. Umm, ooh, ooh<6F>oh, I have a game!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay! </p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay!</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> This is great!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> What<61>s the game?! What<61>s the game?!</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, well, it doesn<73>t have a name<6D>oh, okay, Phoebeball! No, it
doesn<EFBFBD>t have a name. Umm, okay, Monica, what is your favourite thing about trees?</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> They<65>re green?</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Good! Good! Five points!</p>
<p>(They both rejoice; Chandler is totally confused.)</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> All right, Joey, same question.</p>
<p>(He looks to Chandler, who doesn<73>t have a clue.)</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Uhh, they<65>re tall.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ooh, three points. Both fine answers, but we were looking for leafy,
leafy.</p>
<p>(Joey turns and is angry that Chandler didn<64>t come up with the answer.)</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> That<61>s not even a game!</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What? Shut up! We<57>re winning!</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> You wanna finish this right now? All right, we get a deck of cards, high
card wins. What do you say?</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Fine, let<65>s do it.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, I have cards!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh.</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, good.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah! Here! (She grabs a deck out of her purse) Oh no, these are the
trick deck. Okay. Here yes. Okay.</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, you guys uh, you guys pick first</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay.</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay. (She picks a card.) Four.</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> That<61>s a low one!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah! Okay. (Joey picks a card.) Phoebe, you look, I can<61>t.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What make you think I can?! (Shields her eyes from it.)</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay. Okay. (He looks at the card.) Ace!</p>
<p>(Both Joey and Chandler and Monica and Rachel jump up and down for joy.)</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Why are you screaming and hugging?</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> Because we won our apartment back!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> What? Ace is high! Jack, queen, king, ace!</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> No! Ace is low! Ace, two, three, four!</p>
<p>(They all look to Phoebe to settle this.)</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I don<6F>t know. Ooh! Ooh! Look it! (She fans out the trick deck.)
Ah-ha!</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> All right, cut, let<65>s pick again, pick again.</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay.</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Come on apartment! Come on apartment! (Picks a card.) Oh! I know queen
is high!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Uh-huh, not as high as<61>(picks a card) It worked! King!</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah baby!</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> But, we pick again! We pick again!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Why?!</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> I don<6F>t know!</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Tickets please! (Rachel hands over the tickets) That<61>s courtside
baby!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Seriously, good game though. Good game. (He tries to congratulate them,
but they pull away.) (To Chandler) What are they so mad about? They get the apartment
back!</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No they didn<64>t!</p>
<p>[Scene: Ross<73>s apartment, Emily has packed as Ross returns.]</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey!</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> I packed while you were gone. I left some knickers under your pillow.</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> (laughs) Move in with me.</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> What?!</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Don<6F>t be scared, I-I know it sounds crazy and-and people will say
it<EFBFBD>s too soon, but just-just think, think how great it will be.</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> Ohh, no. Ugh. Oh, leaving London, my whole family lives there.</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> I know.</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> My job!</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, so, you-you<6F>ll get a job here! I mean, I<>m always hearing
about uh, them foreigners coming in here and stealing American jobs; that could be you!</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> Yeah, but it-it-it<69>s my whole life<66>you come to England.</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> No, I can<61>t. I would, I really would, but my son is here; I
can<EFBFBD>t leave him. Isn<73>t<EFBFBD>you don<6F>t think there<72>s any way?</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> Ohh, I don<6F>t think so. I mean it would be different if it was way
into the future <20>and-and-and we were getting married or something.</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> What?</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> Oh no, no, right I shouldn<64>t have said married. Uh, please
don<EFBFBD>t go freaky on me. I didn<64>t mean it. Well, I didn<64>t say it; I take it
back!</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> No, no, don<6F>t. Why don<6F>t we?</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> Why don<6F>t we what?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Get married.</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> You are mad!</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> No! No! I<>m not! It<49>s-it<69>s-it<69>s perfect! I mean
it<EFBFBD>s better than you just-just moving here, <20>cause it<69>s us together
forever, and that<61>s-that<61>s what I want.</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> We<57>ve only known each other for six weeks!</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, I know, so what? I mean, who<68>s-who<68>s to say? Does that me
we-we can<61>t do it? Look, huh, I was with Carol for four years before we got married
and I wound up divorced from a pregnant lesbian. I mean, this, this makes sense for us.
Come on! I mean, on our first date we ended up spending the whole weekend in Vermont! I
mean, last night I got my ear pierced! Me! This feels right. Doesn<73>t it?</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> My parents are going to be really mad.</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Is that<61>are you saying yes? Is that yes?</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> Yes.</p>
<p>(They kiss and hug.)</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> Yes!</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yes! We<57>re getting married?!</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> Oh my God! </p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yes!</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> We<57>re getting married!</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Come here, come here. Uh, (He takes the earring out.) ow! Emily, will you
marry me?</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> Yes.</p>
<p>(He tries to put it on her finger.)</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> Ohh, it<69>s a bit small.</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Damn! I thought that was going to be romantic as hell!</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> It was.</p>
<p>(They kiss.)</p>
<p align="center"><strong>Commerical Break</strong></p>
<p>[Scene: The hallway, Joey and Chandler are coming back from the game.]</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Those were like the best seats ever.</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh yeah. Hey! Should we give these shirts to the girls? Y<>know, kinda
like a peace offering.</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh yeah, that<61>s very nice. Plus, y<>know they were free and
they<EFBFBD>re too small.</p>
<p>(He knocks on the girls<6C> door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using <i>Star
Trek</i> technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their
original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow!
Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesn<73>t even realise it.)</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh. Oh, God! (He starts running around like a chicken with his head
cut off.)</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, want a beer? (Hands him a beer and sits down in one of the chairs.)
(Jumping up.) WHOA!!!!</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I KNOW!!!</p>
<p>(They both sprint to what used to be their apartment.)</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Open up! Open up! Open up!</p>
<p>(A very angry Monica opens the door with the security chain still on.)</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> We<57>ll discuss it, in the morning! (Slams the door shut.)</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What the hell is going on?!</p>
<p>(It<49>s Rachel<65>s turn to open the door.)</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> We took our apartment back!! (Slams the door shut.)</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (opening the door) I had nothing to do with it. (Closes the door.)
(Opens the door.) Okay, it was my idea, but I don<6F>t feel good about it.</p>
<p>(She goes to close the door, but Chandler puts his foot it in.)</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> We are switching back, right now!</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> No, we<77>re not! We<57>re not leaving!</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, you<6F>re gonna have to leave sometime, because you both have
jobs, and as soon as you do, we<77>re switching it back! There<72>s nothing you can do
to stop us! Right, Joe?</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> I don<6F>t know.</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What?</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> I don<6F>t want to move again! </p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I don<6F>t care, this is our apartment! And they stole<6C>you
stole it<69>our apartment, and we won that apartment fair and square, twice! And I am
getting it back right now. I<>m getting back right now!</p>
<p>(They open the door.)</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> All right. We figured you might respond this way, so we have a backup
offer.</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh no-no-no, no more offers. You can<61>t offer anything to us!</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Let us keep the apartment and<6E></p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> As a thank you, Rachel and I will kiss for one minute.</p>
<p>[Time lapse. The guys are entering their apartment.]</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Totally worth it!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> That was one good minute!</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Good night.</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Good night.</p>
<p>(They both go back into their old rooms and shut the doors. Of course, Chandler has to
close both sections of his door.)</p>
<p>[Cut to the girls apartment.]</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> Men are such idiots.</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah! Can you believe that something that stupid actually got us our
apartment back?</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> That<61>s so funny to think if you<6F>d just done that right after
the last contest, no one would have had to move at all.</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah, let-let-let<65>s pretend that<61>s not true.</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, scarf<72>s done. (It<49>s not really a scarf, it<69>s just a
bunch of yarn that Phoebe has tied together. Just then, Ross and Emily enter dragging with
them Joey and Chandler.)</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Come on! Come on. Come on.</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay!</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey!</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey!</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> What-what<61>s going on?</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ross has some big thing to tell everyone.</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Uhh, okay, it<69>s uh, Emily and I, we decided to uh, to get married.</p>
<p>(The gang is stunned.)</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What? Oh, are you pregnant too?!</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> Umm, no.</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> When, when did<69>how, how did you<6F></p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> We, we just decided to uh, to go for it.</p>
<p><b>Emily:</b> I mean, we know it<69>s a bit hasty but, uh, it just feels so right,
so<EFBFBD></p>
<p>(Rachel slowly walks in from her bedroom. She is stunned speechless.)</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> (turning around.) Umm, uh, I was just telling the guys<79></p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, I-I heard. (Pause, everyone looks at each other, waiting for
Rachel<EFBFBD>s reaction.) I think it<69>s great! (Hugs Ross.) Ohh, I<>m so happy for
you!</p>
<p>(Seeing Rachel<65>s apparently okay with this, the rest of the gang jumps up to
congratulate Ross and Emily on their pending nuptials.) </p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, well, that<61>s great!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah! Yeah!</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> (to Ross) I can<61>t believe you<6F>re getting married! </p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah. (They hug again.)</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Monica and Rachel made out. (Giggles like a schoolboy and Monica glares at
him.)</p>
<p align="center"><strong>Closing Credits</strong></p>
<p>[Scene: Joey<65>s bedroom, he is awoken by the singing guy.]</p>
<p><b>The Singing Man:</b> (singing) Morning<6E>s here! The morning<6E>s here! </p>
<p>(Joey joins him.)</p>
<b>
</b><p><b>Both:</b> Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the morning<6E>s here!</p>
<p><b>The Singing Man:</b> Hey! You<6F>re back!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey! (Singing) Get into gear!</p>
<p><b>The Singing Man:</b> (singing) Breakfast is near!</p>
<b>
</b><p><b>Both:</b> The dark of night has disappeared!!</p>
<p><b>The Singing Man:</b> I<>ll see you tomorrow morning!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> (happily) Okay!</p>
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
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