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Data/Friends/ToConvert/The One With Joey’s Award.html
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<!-- saved from url=(0055)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season7/718towja.htm -->
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<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
|
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<title>The One With Joey<65>s Award</title>
|
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|
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<meta name="GENERATOR" content="Microsoft FrontPage 4.0">
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<meta name="Template" content="C:\Program Files\Microsoft Office\Templates\FRIENDS.dot">
|
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<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
|
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|
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<body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" link="#008000" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
|
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|
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<h1 align="center">The One With Joey<65>s Award</h1>
|
||||
|
||||
<hr>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>Teleplay by: Brian Boyle<br>
|
||||
Story by: Sherry Bilsing & Ellen Plummer<br>
|
||||
Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<hr>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Monica are there as Joey is entering excitedly.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey! You guys! You<6F>re not gonna believe this! I just got off the
|
||||
phone with my agent<6E></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh my God! (Joey looks at her.) I<>m sorry, too soon. You go.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay. I got nominated for my part on <i>Days of Our Lives</i>!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Joey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Good for you!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Congratulations! Wow! I can<61>t believe you<6F>re nominated for an <i>Emmy</i>!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No-no.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh <i>Soap Opera Digest</i> award!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No! I<>m up for a Soapie!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Honey? Is that something you<6F>re making up?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No, no, no! It<49>s real! And it has been since 1998. (Rachel returns
|
||||
from the bathroom.) Hey Rach! Rach! I<>m up for a Soapie!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (gasps) Oh my God! Oh my God!! That is like the third most prestigious
|
||||
soap opera award there is!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Thank you! Well, I guess now I know who I<>m taking to the awards.
|
||||
(Points to Rachel.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, stop that! Don<6F>t kid about that! (Gasps) Will all the stars be
|
||||
there?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Many are scheduled to appear.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh my God! Oh my God! I can<61>t go! I<>m gonna be too nervous!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (to Joey) Okay, I<>ll go!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No!! You are getting married! This is all I have.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: N.Y.U, Ross is giving a lecture.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> <20>and it was Ernst Muhlbrat who first hypothesized that the
|
||||
Velociraptor would expand it<69>s collar and emit a high pitched noise to frighten
|
||||
it<EFBFBD>s predator. (A student raises his hand.) Yes Mr. Lewis? </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lewis:</b> What kinda noise?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Just a high pitched intimidating noise.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lewis:</b> But like how?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well we-we don<6F>t know for sure. But in my head it-it sounded
|
||||
something like this. (He makes a high pitched noise and Alan doesn<73>t know what to
|
||||
make of it.) Of course, this is just conjecture. Okay, that<61>s uh, that<61>s all for
|
||||
today. (Everyone starts to get up.) Uh Mr. Morse, can I see you for a moment? </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Morse:</b> Yes sir.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Mr. Morse I need to talk to you about your mid-term exam, I<>m afraid
|
||||
I-I had to fail you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Morse:</b> (shocked) Why?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well you need 60% to pass<73></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Morse:</b> What<61>d I get?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Seven.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Morse:</b> That<61>s not so good.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No-no it<69>s not. What-what happened there Ned?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Morse:</b> Well maybe you can cut me some slack. I<>m sort of in love.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well I<>m sorry but, that-that<61>s really not my problem.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Morse:</b> I<>m in love with you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well that brings me in the loop a little.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Morse:</b> You see, that<61>s why I did so bad on this test. I<>m having a
|
||||
hard time concentrating. When you<6F>re up there (Points to the podium) and you<6F>re
|
||||
teaching and your face gets all serious<75>you look so good. (In a sexy voice) You wear
|
||||
that tight little turtleneck sweater<65></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay! (Walks away from him.) Umm, I uh, I<>m your teacher. I<>m
|
||||
sorry, you<6F>re-you<6F>re a student and I-and I like women. In spite of what may be
|
||||
written on the backs of some of these chairs.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are drinking coffee and Phoebe notices a cute
|
||||
guy checking them out.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh my God! That guy at the counter is totally checking you out!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Really? (Looks.) My God, he<68>s really cute.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Go for it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Phoebe, I<>m engaged!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I<>m just saying, get his number just in case. But no: Chandler is in
|
||||
an accident and can<61>t perform sexually and he would want you to take a lover to
|
||||
satisfy the needs that he can no longer fulfill.</p>
|
||||
<b>
|
||||
|
||||
</b><p><b>The Cute Guy:</b> (To Monica) Hi!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Op, can I just tell you something? Very flattered but umm, I<>m
|
||||
engaged. (Points to her ring.)</p>
|
||||
<b>
|
||||
|
||||
</b><p><b>The Cute Guy:</b> Wow! Uh, this is kind of embarrassing. I was actually coming over to
|
||||
talk to your friend.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well you should be embarrassed. (Leaves.)</p>
|
||||
<b>
|
||||
|
||||
</b><p><b>The Cute Guy:</b> (To Phoebe) I thought you knew I was looking at you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I did, but that was really fun.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sitting in the chair.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is<69>Joey Tribbiani! (He
|
||||
then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a
|
||||
bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh<4F> Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I
|
||||
didn<EFBFBD>t prepare a speech. But umm, I<>d like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my
|
||||
parents, who<68>ve always been there for me. I<>d also like to thank my friends,
|
||||
Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel<65></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I<>m fourth! (Joey is startled.) Look at you with your little maple
|
||||
syrup award!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah may-maybe you don<6F>t tell anyone about this.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What? No! It<49>s not a big deal! I do that too, with my shampoo
|
||||
bottle.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Really?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> What award are you practicing for?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> <i>Grammy</i>, Best New Artist.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, hey listen! The Soapie<69>s called today, and I also get to present
|
||||
an award.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohh that<61>s great!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> So you<6F>ll definitely get onstage, even if you don<6F>t win.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (confused) What you-you don<6F>t think I<>m gonna win?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well of course I do! But y<>know, favorite returning character is a
|
||||
tough category Joey. I mean you<6F>re up against the guy who survived his own cremation.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah. No-no I-I know I might not win, but it<69>s just<73>I<EFBFBD>ve
|
||||
never even been nominated before! I want it so much.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well Joey, you<6F>ll probably get it. But you should probably
|
||||
start practicing your gracious loser face. Y<>know when like the cameras are on you and you wanna
|
||||
look disappointed, but also that your colleague deserved to win. Y<>know? So it<69>s
|
||||
sorta like<6B> (Does it, you<6F>ll have to see it.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey! (Likes it.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Y<>know?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> You practice losing the <i>Grammies</i> too?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh no, at the <i>Grammies</i> I always win.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ah.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica<63>s Restaurant Kitchen, she<68>s cooking as Phoebe enters.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey! How<6F>d your date go with Jake?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, great! We couldn<64>t keep our eyes off each other all night and
|
||||
then every once and a while y<>know, he<68>d kinda lean over and stroke my hair and
|
||||
touch my neck. (Does that to Monica.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, stop it Phoebe, you<6F>re getting me all tingly.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (laughs) All I could think of was y<>know, "Is he gonna kiss
|
||||
me? Is he gonna kiss me?"</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> And did he?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I<>m a lady Monica, I don<6F>t kiss and tell. But this hickey
|
||||
speaks for itself. (She starts to open up her blouse.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay-okay, I got it. I got it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I just like him so much that I just feel like I<>ve had 10 drinks
|
||||
today and I<>ve only had six.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, I haven<65>t had that feeling since I first started going out with
|
||||
Chandler. Wow, I<>m never gonna have that feeling again, am I?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You sound like a guy.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> No, a guy would be saying, "I<>m never gonna get to sleep with
|
||||
anyone else." Oh my God! I<>m never gonna get to sleep with anyone else!
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>ve been so busy planning the wedding that I forgot about all the things that
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>d be giving up! I mean, I<>I<EFBFBD>m never gonna have a first kiss again.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You<6F>ll have a last kiss.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is helping Joey with his tie.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Can I ask you something? Have you ever had a guy have a crush on you?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Is that why you wanted to tie my tie?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> There<72>s this kid in my class who said he<68>s in love with me.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Whoa!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (entering from her room) Whoa what?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ross has a boyfriend.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I do-I do <b>not</b> have a boyfriend. There<72>s a guy in one of my
|
||||
classes who-who has a crush on me.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Really?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah! I don<6F>t know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid.
|
||||
What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of<6F>sexy professor vibe? (Rachel
|
||||
and Joey both look at him.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Not right now.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> It-it<69>The point is my natural charisma has made him fail his midterm.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, see now I feel bad for the kid! I had a crush on a teacher once and
|
||||
it was so hard! Y<>know you<6F>I couldn<64>t concentrate and I blushed every time
|
||||
he looked at me. I mean come on, you remember what<61>s it<69>s like to be 19 and in
|
||||
love.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah. I guess I can cut him some slack.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> How<6F>d you get over that teacher?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I didn<64>t. I got under him.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (To Ross) Problem solved.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is saying good-bye to her boyfriend Jake at the door to
|
||||
Central Perk.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Jake:</b> Bye Phoebe.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay bye. (They kiss.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Jake:</b> All right. Bye. (Backs out the door.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Bye! (Phoebe goes over and joins Monica on the couch.) We said good-bye
|
||||
at the door so as not to flaunt our new love.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Phoebe, it<69>s okay. You don<6F>t have to tip toe around me.
|
||||
I-I<>ve been thinking about it and umm, y<>know what? I<>m okay about not
|
||||
having that new relationship feeling<6E></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Jake:</b> (yelling through the window to Phoebe) I miss you already!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (yelling back) I miss you too!!!! (He walks away.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> See? That<61>s what I mean. I mean <b>that</b>, that<61>s great! But
|
||||
I wouldn<64>t trade in what I have for that. I mean I<>m gonna be with Chandler for
|
||||
the rest of my life, and that<61>s what makes me happy. (Chandler approaches.) Hey
|
||||
sweetie, come here! Come sit down. Hey Phoebe and I were just talking about how our
|
||||
relationship is deep and meaningful. It really is, don<6F>t you think?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh totally! (Holds up his finger.) Pull my finger.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The 2001 Soapie Awards, Joey<65>s category is up next and the presenter walks
|
||||
to the podium.]</p>
|
||||
<b>
|
||||
|
||||
</b><p><b>Announcer:</b> Presenting the award for Favorite Returning Male Character is
|
||||
McKensize<EFBFBD></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Cut to Joey and Rachel<65>s table.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (To Rachel) This is it! This is my category.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I know! My God! Do you have your speech?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, I got my speech!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Do you got your gracious loser face?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah. (Does it.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Now Joey remember, if you win you have to hug me! You hug me!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay. Can I squeeze your ass?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> On TV?! Yeah!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> <20>Kay! </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Cut to the presenter.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>The Presenter:</b> <20>in the category of Favorite Returning Male Character the
|
||||
nominees are: John Wheeler from <i>General Hospital</i> (Applause), Gavin Grant from <i>The
|
||||
Young and the Restless</i> (Applause), Duncan Harrington from <i>Passions</i> (Applause),
|
||||
and Joey Tribbiani from <i>Days of Our Lives</i> (Applause). And the Soapie goes
|
||||
to<EFBFBD>(She opens the envelope)<29>Gavin Grant from <i>The Young and the Restless</i>!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which
|
||||
is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that he<68>s on TV
|
||||
right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The 2001 Soapie Awards, the announcer is introducing the next presenter.]</p>
|
||||
<b>
|
||||
|
||||
</b><p><b>Announcer:</b> Presenting the award for Favorite Supporting Actress is Joey Tribbiani
|
||||
from <i>Days of Our Lives</i>. (Applause as Joey angrily walks to the podium and eyes the
|
||||
trophy.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for
|
||||
this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head
|
||||
in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are: from <i>Passions:</i> Erin Goff.
|
||||
(There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to die out.) From <i>One Life to Live:</i>
|
||||
Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of
|
||||
the nominees), from <i>All My Children:</i> Sarah McCann, and from <i>Days of Our Lives:</i>
|
||||
Jessica Ashley. And the winner is<69>(Opens the envelope)<29>Jessica Ashley from <i>Days
|
||||
of Our Lives</i>. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldn<64>t be with us tonight, so
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>ll be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And I<>m sure
|
||||
that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. She<68>d also
|
||||
like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel, who<68>s
|
||||
sittin<EFBFBD> right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is
|
||||
turned off; this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are entering.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Joey! Why did we have to rush out of there so fast?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Rach, we had to get out of there because: look what I won! (He whips out
|
||||
the award for Best Supporting Actress that he accepted for Jessica.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh my God, you stole her award!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No-no! No, I<>m accepting it on her behalf. (He puts it up above the
|
||||
TV to display it.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Joey I don<6F>t think you know what behalf means.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Sure I do! It<49>s a verb! As in, "I behalfin<69> it!"</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Joey, you have got to take this back!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> But why?! I should<6C>ve won one and I really want it, and she
|
||||
didn<EFBFBD>t even care enough to come to the thing! It could also be a <i>Grammy</i>.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (looking at the award) No! Joey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Come on Rach! No one saw me take it! There was a whole table full of
|
||||
<EFBFBD>em.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Do you really want an award you didn<64>t win?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No! I want an award I did win! But nobody<64>s giving me any of those!
|
||||
Plus<EFBFBD>Hey Rach, if-if I put it up there (Points to the TV) right? When people come
|
||||
over they<65>ll see it and they<65>ll think I won it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Joey, it says Best Supporting Actress!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I can scratch that right off.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Joey, no: this is wrong! You have to take it back, okay? You don<6F>t
|
||||
want to win an award this way. You<6F>re very talented. And someday you<6F>re gonna
|
||||
win one of these for real, and <b>that</b> one is gonna mean something.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> All right? (He sets the award down.) Thank you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I<>ll take it back tomorrow.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Thank you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(He goes into his room and closes the door. Rachel goes to pick it up and<6E>)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (opening his door) If I can<61>t have it you can<61>t have it! (Rachel
|
||||
walks away angrily.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Ross<73>s Classroom, he is writing on the board and Alan is coming in to see
|
||||
him.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lewis:</b> Professor Geller?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (turning towards him) Yes Mr. Lewis, how can I help you?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lewis:</b> I know I didn<64>t do well on my midterms and stuff but, I was kinda
|
||||
hoping you could change my grade.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> And why exactly would I do that? (Goes back to writing on the board.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lewis:</b> Because I<>m in love with you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (turning around and dragging the chalk down the board) What?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lewis:</b> Yeah, I<>m all<6C>in love with you and stuff. So could you change
|
||||
my grade?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lewis:</b> Well why not? You changed Ned<65>s grade!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well that<61>s different! Okay? Because he, he was actually in love with
|
||||
me!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lewis:</b> No he<68>s not! He<48>s totally yanking your chain! He<48>s done
|
||||
this with three other teachers!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lewis:</b> He<48>s got a girlfriend!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I can<61>t believe someone would do that for a grade.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lewis:</b> I know! It<49>s awful. I love you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Ross glares at him.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Monica enters.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Have you seen Chandler?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No. Why?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> <20>Cause I just keep thinking about all these things that I<>m
|
||||
not gonna have, and it<69>s freaking me out. I don<6F>t know what to do about it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, don<6F>t sweat it. (Looking around her.) Chandler is nowhere
|
||||
around so go ahead get it out of your system. That guy<75>s cute. (Points to a guy
|
||||
sitting behind Monica.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Phoebe! Come on, I<>m serious! I just got to talk to him about all
|
||||
this.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, that is the <b>last</b> thing you want to do!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Why?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Because you<6F>re marrying him!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> You gotta help me out here Pheebs.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> All right, I<>ve never been engaged and I<>ve never really been
|
||||
married, but I can only tell you what my mother told me. Whenever you have doubts or fears
|
||||
or anxieties about a relationship, do <b>not</b> communicate them to your husband.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> So I<>m not supposed to share my doubts and fears with the guy
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>m gonna spend the rest of my life with?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> That is correct! Yes, you<6F>re supposed to take all of that stuff and
|
||||
put it in a little box in your mind and then lock it up tight.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Your mother told you this?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yes!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> The woman that got married a bunch of times and killed herself when you
|
||||
were 13?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh my God! You<6F>re right! Go! (Monica starts to leave.) Go tell
|
||||
Chandler! Hurry before it<69>s too late! Wait no! (Monica stops.) Does this also mean
|
||||
putting out doesn<73>t get you love? (Monica is shocked.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey and Rachel are there to give Jessica her award.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I cannot believe I<>m gonna meet Jessica Ashley!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay wait-wait p-please be cool! Okay? I work with this woman.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, I<>m totally cool! (She coolly knocks on the door)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Jessica Ashley:</b> Come in.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(The enter.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey Jessica.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (coolly) Hey Jess.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ah, this is my friend Rachel.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Jessica Ashley:</b> Hi.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> <20>Sup? (Joey glares at her.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Uh listen, here<72>s your Soapie. I accepted it for ya. (Hands it to
|
||||
her.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Jessica Ashley:</b> (shocked) Oh my God! I won! Do you have any idea what this
|
||||
means?! (She rolls her eyes and throws it onto the couch.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, that-that-that<61>s it? You<6F>re gonna, you<6F>re gonna put
|
||||
it on your shelf or anything?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Jessica Ashley:</b> No, I try to save that for real awards. Now, if you<6F>ll
|
||||
excuse me. (She exits.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (To Rachel) Take it back?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Absolutely.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Y-y-yeah! (As they start to leave, Rachel pauses and steals a vase with
|
||||
flowers in it.) Yeah you do. (They exit.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is talking to Chandler.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Honey, as we get closer to the wedding, is there anything that you would
|
||||
like to talk about or share?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay. Well, I think the centerpieces are too big</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> You<6F>re wrong! The centerpieces are fine! Do you ever get scared at
|
||||
all?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Kinda. They<65>re really big.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Doesn<73>t it ever just freak you out that-that you<6F>re never
|
||||
gonna be with anybody new again?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Just, I love you so much. Just<73>It<49>s just sometimes it bothers
|
||||
me that I<>m never gonna have that feeling. Y<>know when you meet someone for the
|
||||
first time and it<69>s new and exciting? Y<>know that rush?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No. No, see when I first meet somebody it<69>s uh it<69>s mostly
|
||||
panic, anxiety, and a great deal of sweating.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, but all right you<6F>re a guy, does it not freak you that
|
||||
you<EFBFBD>re never gonna sleep with anybody else?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Sleeping with somebody new: anxiety, panic, and, I<>m afraid, even
|
||||
more sweating.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Even with me?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I was dangerously dehydrated during the first six months of our
|
||||
relationship. (Monica laughs.) Look, for me the rush is knowing that we are gonna be
|
||||
together for the rest of our lives.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Really?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well yeah! But now that I know that you<6F>re having these thoughts,
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>m back to panic, anxiety, and uh I<>m definitely gonna need some kind of sports
|
||||
drink.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Come here! Come here! (They hug.) Sweetie you don<6F>t have to worry.
|
||||
No, besides y<>know what? I<>m gonna have a lot of new things with you. The first
|
||||
time we buy a house. Our first kid. Our first grandkid<69></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (hoarsely) Water! Water! Water!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Ross<73>s classroom, he has just finished his lecture and the students are
|
||||
filing out.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh Mr. Morse, can I speak to you for a moment?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Morse:</b> (walking up) That was a great lecture today. Did you get a little hair
|
||||
cut?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh-hmm, yeah-yeah do you like it? Do-do you looove it? I just want you to
|
||||
know that I<>m changing your grade back.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Morse:</b> What?! Why?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> <20>Cause I know what you<6F>re trying to pull here. Okay? It<49>s
|
||||
not gonna work.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Morse:</b> I<>m not trying to pull anything. Look, I love you dude.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Y<>know what? I-I<>m not even gonna talk about this. Okay? This
|
||||
little thing is over. I <b>know</b> you have a girlfriend! Okay<61>(Ned looks
|
||||
shocked)<29>Yeah! And I know about the other professors! How do you think that makes me
|
||||
feel, Ned?! You used me! You don<6F>t love me and you never did! (Ross turns around to
|
||||
make a grand exit but runs into two colleagues.) Ah Professor Winston, Professor
|
||||
Fredrickson, I<>ll be right with you. (To Ned) Don<6F>t make this worse and
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>ll give you a C. (To the professors) Shall we? (They leave.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>Ending Credits</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Rach? </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I<>ll be out in a second.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Phoebe notices the Soapie on the counter.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh. (Picks it up.) It<49>s just so unexpected! I<>I uh<75>Boy
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>ll tell you it<69>s just such an honor to be nominated for a<i> Nobel Prize</i>
|
||||
and y<>know to win one for a massage. Especially after having just won a <i>Tony</i>
|
||||
award for best actress in<69></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (entering from her room) Honey, we have to go. Our reservations are at
|
||||
8:00.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> <20>in Reservations at 8:00 by Neil Simon. (To an imaginary Neil
|
||||
Simon) Thank-thank you Neil. Thank you for the words. (Blows him a kiss.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay honey, you can finish this later we<77>re gonna be late. We gotta
|
||||
go.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Please, don<6F>t play the music. Just uh one more. <b>LIVE FROM NEW
|
||||
YORK! IT<49>S SATURDAY NIGHT!!</b></p><b>
|
||||
</b>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<hr>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><map name="FPMap0">
|
||||
<area href="http://thecfsi.com/season7.htm" shape="rect" coords="136, 1, 193, 80">
|
||||
<area href="http://thecfsi.com/season7.htm" shape="rect" coords="69, 1, 126, 80">
|
||||
<area href="http://thecfsi.com/season7/717cwd.htm" shape="rect" coords="0, 1, 60, 80"></map><img rectangle="(0,1) (60, 80) http://thecfsi.com/season7/717cwd.htm" src="./The One With Joey<65>s Award_files/contrl08.gif" width="194" height="60" alt="contrl08.gif (14783 bytes)" border="0" usemap="#FPMap0"></p>
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
</body></html>
|
Reference in New Issue
Block a user