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Data/Friends/ToConvert/The One With Monica’s Boots.html
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<!-- saved from url=(0055)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season8/810boots.htm -->
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<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
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<title>The One With Monica<63>s Boots</title>
|
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|
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<meta name="GENERATOR" content="Microsoft FrontPage 3.0">
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<meta name="Template" content="C:\Program Files\Microsoft Office\Templates\Friends.dot">
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<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
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|
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<body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" link="#008000" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
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|
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<h1 align="center">The One With Monica<63>s Boots</h1>
|
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|
||||
<hr>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>Teleplay by: Brian Buckner & Sebastian Jones<br>
|
||||
Story by: Robert Carlock<br>
|
||||
Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:webmaster@thecfsi.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<hr>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying on a pair of new boots as Chandler
|
||||
enters.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey! So what do you think?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> New haircut? (Monica nods <20>No.<2E>) Necklace? (No) Dress? (No)
|
||||
Boots? (Monica nods <20>Yes.<2E>) Boots!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yes! Now, they<65>re a little more than I normally spend on
|
||||
boots<EFBFBD>or rent (Shows him the receipt.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh my God!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I know.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I<>m gonna miss being able to afford food.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I<>m sorry, they just, they just look so good! And the saleswoman
|
||||
was looking at me like, "Oh, these are way too expensive for you."</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> She had a point. (Shows her the receipt.) </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (entering) Hi!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh my God! (Notices the boots) Oh Monica! Those boots are amazing!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> They<65>re mine!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah well, too bad we<77>re gonna have to return them.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Return them?! Shh! They<65>re gonna hear you!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Honey, I<>m not returning them. Okay? I mean I-I know they cost a
|
||||
lot, but I<>m going to wear them all the time. You<6F>ll see. Besides, I love the
|
||||
compliments. I mean, have you ever had something so beautiful everyone wanted it?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I have you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Nice try; I<>m keeping the boots.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is
|
||||
talking to Rachel<65>s, who is now showing, stomach.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> That<61>s right, I love you! And-and I<>m gonna play with you all
|
||||
the time.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> How can you let him talk to your crotch like that?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (pause) He<48>s talking to the baby.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ohh! Okay! Okay, cause when-when he said, "I can<61>t wait to
|
||||
hear your first words," I thought, "There<72>s a trick."</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay. Well, I gotta go you guys. I<>ll see you later.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Bye.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Bye. (She gets up to leave but is stopped by Joey)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh hey Rach, listen<65>Hi!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Umm, can you do me a favor? I was talkin<69> to my sister and she knows
|
||||
you work at <i>Ralph Lauren</i><EFBFBD></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No, forget it! No way! I am not sending anymore <i>Ralph Lauren</i>
|
||||
clothes to prison. It is a waste.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No-no-no-no-no-no, not her, not her. My youngest sister, Dina, she<68>s
|
||||
really interested in fashion, and she wants to talk to someone successful, y<>know, to
|
||||
give her some advice.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I guess I can talk to one of my supervisors<72></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh no-no-no-no, she wants to talk to you!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Really?! Oh my God! I<>m successful!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay, so will you meet with her?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes! I<>d love to! Have her come by the office.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Great! Thanks! You<6F>re gonna love her so much. And<6E>Oh, she<68>s
|
||||
the smartest of all the Tribbiani children. Hey, y<>know the S.A.T<>s?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> She took <20>em!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Joey goes to get coffee and Rachel exits as the camera pans to Phoebe and Ross on the
|
||||
couch.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey Ross! Doesn<73>t Ben go to the Smithfield Day School?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah. Why?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Sting has a son that goes there too!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah I know; he<68>s in Ben<65>s class.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You knew this and you never said anything?! With all the stupid dinosaur
|
||||
stuff you tell us?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Fine! No more dinosaur stuff! Can I talk about fossils? (Joey is about to
|
||||
sit down and hears this so instead he groans and exits.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Sting<6E>s son, seven years old and there<72>s a picture.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What are you reading? The Kidnappers Guide to Manhattan Private Schools?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, it<69>s <i>New York</i> magazine. It<49>s an article about the
|
||||
best schools in the city. So how well do you know Sting?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh, I actually haven<65>t even met him.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Uh-huh, yeah that<61>s too bad. I really want to go to his concert
|
||||
Friday night, but it<69>s totally sold out. I know! Why don<6F>t you meet him and get
|
||||
tickets?! If you get two I<>ll take you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well actually, I<>m picking Ben up tomorrow, maybe he<68>ll be
|
||||
there.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> There you go! Oh, you are so lucky! You might actually get to meet Sting
|
||||
tomorrow! <b>That<EFBFBD>s</b> why you have kids!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, the next day Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there as Monica
|
||||
enters.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey guys!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey-hey.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi Monica!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey. (Sits down on the arm of the couch.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi boots.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> See Chandler? I<>m getting a lot of use out of them already!
|
||||
They<EFBFBD>re very practical. See, you can wear them with dresses, with skirts, with
|
||||
pants<EFBFBD></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> You can wear them with shorts on a street corner and earn the money to
|
||||
pay for them. (Goes and gets some coffee at the counter.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wow! They<65>re beautiful!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ahh<68></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (almost crying) They hurt so much!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> The guy who made these hates feet and wants to see them die!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well-well you can give them to me! I haven<65>t felt my feet in years!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I can<61>t! I spent so much money on them and I told Chandler that
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>d wear them all the time, I just can<61>t give them away!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well then get your money back and return them!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I can<61>t do that either! The soles<65> are already a little
|
||||
scuffed up and the insides are filled with my blood.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering) Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (returning to his seat) Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey I uh just picked up Ben from school<6F></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (spinning around looking for him) I don<6F>t think you did a very
|
||||
thorough job!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I dropped him off at Carol<6F>s. (To Phoebe) Anyway, it turns out that
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>m not going to be able to get those tickets though.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh no! Why not?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well it turns out that Ben and Sting<6E>s son do not get along.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> How come?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Apparently, Sting<6E>s son made fun of the fact that Ben<65>s moms are
|
||||
lesbinims.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wait! But Ross if they don<6F>t get along then <b>you</b> should
|
||||
smooth things over. <b>Make</b> them be friends.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Phoebe, you can<61>t force kids to be friends.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Sure you can! Give them some blocks, put them in a playpen!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Playpen?! Ben<65>s seven!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Your kid is seven?! (Ross nods, "Yes.") (To the rest)
|
||||
He<EFBFBD>s really small. (To Ross) Please! Please get the tickets!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Look I<>m sorry Pheebs, I can<61>t do it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yes you can! Sting says so himself!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (singing) <i>Rosssss can</i>!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Look Phoebe, I<>m sorry it<69>s just<73></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (singing) <i>Rossss can</i>!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Phoebe, I<></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (singing) <i>Rosss can! Give me the tickets! Ross can give me the
|
||||
tickets</i>!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Ross runs out to get the tickets.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Rachel<65>s Office, Joey has brought Dina to meet with Rachel.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (entering, with Dina) Here she is! Future fashion superstar!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh Joey, I<>m hardly a<></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> My little sister Dina!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Right! Hi Dina! </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Dina:</b> Hi.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Nice to meet you. (They shake hands.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Dina:</b> Thanks so much for meetin<69> with me. Joey<65>s told me so much about
|
||||
you!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> This is so exciting for her. Well, I<>ll let you two fash<73>ists
|
||||
get down to business. (Exits.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay. All right Dina, well let<65>s talk about the different areas of
|
||||
fashion that you could get involved in. Let<65>s see, there<72>s design, but you may
|
||||
need a whole other degree for that. Uh, there<72>s-there<72>s sales, which is great
|
||||
because you get to travel<65></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Dina:</b> I<>I don<6F>t care about fashion! I<>m pregnant! And I know you
|
||||
are too, so you gotta help me!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (stunned) And there<72>s marketing<6E></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The Hallway, Monica is returning, but before she enters the apartment she stops
|
||||
on the step and changes from wearing tennis shoes to the boots and she moans in pain as
|
||||
she puts each boot on.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (standing up) Ahhhhhhhh!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (opening the door) What<61>s wrong?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh nothing I<>m just<73>just was yawning. (Mimics the groan from
|
||||
before and stretches.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh don<6F>t forget, my office holiday party is tonight. (They go
|
||||
into the apartment.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Honey, we don<6F>t really have to go to this thing tonight do we?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Now sweetie, I know you don<6F>t like my office parties, but you can
|
||||
wear your new boots. See? Every cloud has a<>supple leather lining.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I-I don<6F>t-I don<6F>t think that I<>m gonna wear the boots
|
||||
tonight.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Why not?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well y<>know, I<>m just-I<>m just worried that bosses will
|
||||
see them and think they pay you too much money. Or! Or your assistant will see them
|
||||
and-and want a raise!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Do you think I work at some kind of boot pricing company?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Anyway, I picked up this outfit that I want to wear and the, and the
|
||||
boots don<6F>t really go with it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> You said that you paid all that money because those boots go with
|
||||
skirts, dresses, and pants!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Fine! If you want me to wear the boots, I<>ll wear the boots. In
|
||||
fact, I<>ll go into my room right now and y<>know try the outfit on.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay? (She starts to walk which causes her to start crying) Ooo wee!
|
||||
Christmas party in my boots! (Runs into the bedroom and mixes saying <20>ow<6F> with
|
||||
laughing.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The Hallway, Rachel is about to enter her apartment with Dina to tell Joey the
|
||||
news.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Dina:</b> I-I can<61>t go in there. I can<61>t tell him!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Honey, it<69>s going to be okay. He<48>s been incredibly supportive
|
||||
of me, and if he gets a little upset; that<61>s what the meatball sub is for. (She gives
|
||||
Dina a sandwich wrapped in aluminum foil.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Dina:</b> Thank you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(They enter.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey! It<49>s my fashion girls! (They don<6F>t react.) What<61>s
|
||||
wrong?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Honey, why don<6F>t you sit down? Dina has something that she wants to
|
||||
tell you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (concerned) Oh. What<61>s, what<61>s going on? Is it mom? Is she sick?
|
||||
Is it dad<61>s heart? Is that a sandwich?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Dina:</b> Joe, mom and dad are fine<6E></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Is that a sandwich?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Joey<65>there<72>s something that you<6F>should know. Dina?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Dina:</b> I<>m pregnant.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (angrily) What?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (To Dina) Now! Give him the sandwich! Give him the sandwich! (She
|
||||
quickly sets the sandwich in front of him.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well obviously this is a mistake! You can<61>t be pregnant! Because you
|
||||
have to have sex to get pregnant!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Dina:</b> Joe, I tried to wait until I was 25 like you did!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?! Dina<6E></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (to Rachel) Bub!!! (Points at her and quiets Rachel.) (To Dina) I
|
||||
can<EFBFBD>t believe this! You<6F>re the good one! You went to college! Both years! Who
|
||||
did this to you?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Dina:</b> Bobby Corso, but he<68>s a real nice guy. I like him a lot. He<48>s
|
||||
real funny.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> You got pregnant for funny?! Dina<6E>if he<68>s funny<6E><b>laugh</b>!
|
||||
All right, I<>ll be back in a little while! You stay here!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Dina:</b> Why? Where are you going?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I can<61>t look at you right now! (Exits and slams the door behind him.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Dina:</b> Wow.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I know.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Joey storms back in and covering his face so he doesn<73>t see Dina grabs the
|
||||
sandwich and heads back out.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The Midfield Day School, it<69>s after school and Ben is taking a drink of
|
||||
water as Phoebe enters.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, there you are Ben!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ben:</b> Aunt Phoebe, what are you doing here?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well, I heard you<6F>re having a problem with one of the boys in your
|
||||
class. And so I thought I would just come down here and sit you both down, have a little
|
||||
talk and make it all okay. Now umm, the boy<6F>s name is Sting<6E>s son.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ben:</b> Jack? I hate him! He<48>s a jerk.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Now Ben, sometimes people may seem like jerks on the outside, but they
|
||||
have famous fathers.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ben:</b> I have to go. My friend Doug is waiting for me over there. (Goes over to
|
||||
Doug.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Him you<6F>re friends with. (Starts looking at the children trying to
|
||||
find Jack and a teacher notices her.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>The Teacher:</b> Excuse me. Can, can I help you with something?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yes! Yes you can, I<>m looking for Jack<63>s parents.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>The Teacher:</b> Are you with one of the students?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Uh-huh, I<>m with Ben.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>The Teacher:</b> Are you one of Ben<65>s mothers?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I am one of Ben<65>s mothers. I<>m a lesbian. It was, it was
|
||||
difficult coming out to my parents.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>The Teacher:</b> Well hi, I<>m Jenny Boone. I<>m the new teacher here.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>The Teacher:</b> I<>ve only met your partner Carol.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ah! Okay so that would make me Susan.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>The Teacher:</b> Right. Are you looking for Jack<63>s parents to discuss the
|
||||
problems he<68>s having with Ben? (Phoebe nods <20>Yes.<2E>) Yeah. Because I really
|
||||
do think the parents should sit down and have a conversation.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah! Let<65>s do that!! That-that sounds good. We should sit down and
|
||||
talk, just me, my lover Carol, and the Stings. Umm, how-how will I get in touch with them?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>The Teacher:</b> Oh, their number is on the contact sheet.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Umm, could-could I get a copy of that? <20>Cause Carol
|
||||
threw it out, she lost ours. She<68>s such a scatterbrain, but man what a hot piece of
|
||||
ass.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Monica are walking down the sidewalk after his office
|
||||
holiday party.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Y<>know, that party wasn<73>t bad.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah! I didn<64>t know there would be dancing. That was a <b>fun</b>
|
||||
surprise!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I don<6F>t see any uh, cabs. Maybe we should just walk?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh no, we can<61>t walk!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What honey, it<69>s like fifteen blocks to the subway. Let<65>s
|
||||
go.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey! Do you think that we can get to the subway right there if we climb
|
||||
down through the manhole cover?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What<61>s going on?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I can<61>t walk. Okay? Okay? These boots were a huge mistake!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay you were right! All right, I never should have bought them!
|
||||
They<EFBFBD>re killing me! One toe at a time!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> So I was right. This is what it feels like to be right. (Pause)
|
||||
It<EFBFBD>s oddly unsettling.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> How are we gonna get home? Maybe a piggy-back ride?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hop on.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay. Wait, just give me a second, I need to just get my boots off
|
||||
first. (She starts taking them off.) Ah<41>Ooh<6F>Oohh<68>Ohh<68>Oh
|
||||
God<EFBFBD>Ohh<EFBFBD>Oh<EFBFBD>Ohh<EFBFBD>Ohhhh<EFBFBD></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Honey, I know you<6F>re in pain right now, but I<>m a little
|
||||
turned on.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Dina and Rachel are reading pregnancy books, Dina <i>Pregnancy
|
||||
for Dummies</i> and Rachel something else.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Dina:</b> Do you ever worry that you<6F>ll be walking and your baby will just like
|
||||
slip out?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What college was that Dina?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Joey enters dragging a guy.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Dina:</b> Oh my God! Bobby!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bobby:</b> Hi Dina. Good to see you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Joey, what are you doing?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Just what needs to be done! Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join
|
||||
this man and this woman<61></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh Joey this is crazy!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Don<6F>t interrupt me when I<>m talkin<69> to God! Now where were
|
||||
we? Oh right, okay. Do you Dina, take this man<61></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Dina:</b> No!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh you<6F>ll take <20>em!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Dina:</b> No I won<6F>t!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey! You don<6F>t get a say in this!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Dina:</b> Yes I do!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ahhh! I heard "I do", we<77>re halfway there! Okay! (To Bobby)
|
||||
You!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby
|
||||
and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, it<69>s not legal. Okay?
|
||||
They-they don<6F>t have a marriage license, they don<6F>t have any witnesses, and the
|
||||
groom only has on one shoe!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bobby:</b> Yeah, he took the other one off and hit me with it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well what am I supposed to do?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You<6F>re supposed to realize that they are adults! And that they can
|
||||
make their own decisions.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No they can<61>t! They were stupid enough to get knocked up!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Heyyyyy! Contraceptives are not always effective! (To Bobby and Dina)
|
||||
Right?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bobby:</b> Yeah<61>we kinda didn<64>t use any<6E></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, come on kids! A little help here!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Sting<6E>s Apartment, Phoebe has come to talk about Jack and is waiting for
|
||||
Sting<EFBFBD>s wife, Trudie Styler, to enter.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wow! This place is incredible! (Gasps) Sting<6E>s pen<65>that he
|
||||
gave to Phoebe. (Puts the pen in her purse and goes over to a floor-to-ceiling bookcase)
|
||||
Come on! Secret passageway! (Starts pulling books at random as Trudie enters.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Trudie Styler:</b> Hi! (By the way, it<69>s actually her.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hi!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Trudie Styler:</b> I<>m Trudie.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Uh-huh.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Trudie Styler:</b> You must be Ben<65>s mum.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Why else would I be here?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Trudie Styler:</b> Do sit down.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Uh-huh. (They go and sit down.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Trudie Styler:</b> I gather Jack and Ben haven<65>t been getting along lately.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Trudie Styler:</b> I<>m told there are two sides to this story, but all
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>ve heard is that Ben<65>s a bit of a poo-poo head.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Umm, I<>m sorry. Won<6F>t-won<6F>t Jack<63>s father be joining
|
||||
us?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Trudie Styler:</b> Oh I<>m sorry, Jack<63>s father is not available.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Uh-hmm. Okay. Well then, could we reschedule? For say, Friday night
|
||||
perhaps at 8 o<>clock?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Trudie Styler:</b> Oh no, I know that wouldn<64>t work. My husband<6E>s in
|
||||
concert.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Concert. Yeah. That does put us in<69>quite a pickle. Because you see
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>m very busy before and after the concert, and he<68>s obviously busy during.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Trudie Styler:</b> So, I guess you and I should talk about Jack and Ben right now.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Unless! Unless umm, okay I-I would be willing to go to the concert, umm,
|
||||
all the while thinking about the children of course.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Trudie Styler:</b> Are you here for tickets?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, thank you. Four would be great.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Trudie Styler:</b> I<>m not giving concert tickets to someone who<68>d use
|
||||
their son like this!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh good! Then you<6F>re in luck! Ben<65>s not my son!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Trudie Styler:</b> (stands up) Look, I<>ve just pressed a button, triggering a
|
||||
silent alarm. Any minute now, the police will be here!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> The Police? Here? A reunion?! (She gets out her camera.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The Street, Chandler is carrying Monica past a store window.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, ten blocks down. Five to go.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (notices something in the window) Oh wait! Stop! Stop! Stop!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh I<>m sorry! Do you need a break?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> My boots in tan! Hey! Can you get a little closer so I can see the
|
||||
price?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I can see it from right here. It<49>ll cost you one husband.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, I<>m sorry. I think I can walk the rest of the way now.
|
||||
Just-just give me my boots.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (pause) I don<6F>t have your boots.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well I don<6F>t have them either. Where are they?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, why don<6F>t you check in one of my saddlebags while I chew on
|
||||
a bale of hay!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay. (She gets off him.) God well, we gotta go back and get them!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Honey, are you seriously ever gonna wear the boots again?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, I<>m never gonna wear them again. I just didn<64>t get a
|
||||
chance to say goodbye.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Y<>know what? You can say goodbye to the tan ones.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay. (Climbs back on his back.) All right.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay. (Moves closer to the window.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (to the boots) Bye boots<74>Wait! Half off?! (Chandler runs off.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are still discussing Bobby and Dina<6E>s
|
||||
situation.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Joey, just because they<65>re not getting married doesn<73>t mean
|
||||
this is going to be a disaster. Maybe they have a plan!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh? Oh! Okay! Okay! Let<65>s hear their plan! Now, what<61>s the
|
||||
future look like for Dina and Bobby?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bobby:</b> Well<6C>I really have high hopes for my band.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (to Dina) You were right. He is funny.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey, now wait a minute! I get when you told people at first that you
|
||||
wanted to be an actor they laughed at you! Now come on Bobby, why don<6F>t you tell us a
|
||||
little bit about your band?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bobby:</b> Well it<69>s just me and my pal Rooster, the band<6E>s name is Numb
|
||||
Nuts.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (To Dina) Really? (Nods her head at Bobby.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Dina, if you<6F>re having a baby you should be married! Even if it is to
|
||||
Bobby! (Bobby gets happy.) Dude, that<61>s not a compliment!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Dina:</b> No Joey! I knew you wouldn<64>t be supportive!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> So whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! What are you gonna do? You<6F>re gonna have the
|
||||
baby and-and raise it by yourself<6C>without a husband?! You can<61>t be a single
|
||||
mother alone! You<6F>re gonna ruin your life!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh excuse me! Am I ruining my life?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No! No! No! It<49>s different for you. You<6F>re so strong and
|
||||
together. You<6F>re not some dumb kid who doesn<73>t know what she<68>s doing.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Dina:</b> Excuse me?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> One pregnant woman at a time, please! I just want you to be okay.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> So forcing her to marry Bobby is gonna make that happen?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Maybe! (To Bobby) Well! Well<6C>so-so uh, what kind of music does Numb
|
||||
Nuts<EFBFBD>Oh forget it! I can<61>t!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Dina:</b> Joey, I am scared to death about this. But I really think I can do it,
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>m just gonna need some help. And Bobby<62>s gonna be here the whole time.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bobby:</b> You bet I am! (To Joey) And to answer your earlier question, we<77>re
|
||||
straight-up gangster rap. (Joey shakes his head as if he<68>s about to lose it.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Dina:</b> Look, Rachel<65>s told me how much easier you<6F>ve made all this on
|
||||
her. Why can<61>t you do that for me?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Because! <20>Cause<73> <20>Cause you<6F>re my baby sister!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Dina:</b> And you<6F>re my big brother! I mean, you<6F>re my favorite guy in the
|
||||
whole world. I<>m not even scared to tell mom and dad. I was scared of telling you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well I<>d be scared of them, but all right.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Dina:</b> Joey, I can<61>t stand the thought of having this baby with you mad at
|
||||
me. I want him to have his uncle. Is my baby gonna have his Uncle Joey?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Of course he<68>s gonna have his Uncle Joey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Dina:</b> We<57>re gonna be all right. I mean, even if we<77>re not married this
|
||||
baby is gonna be so loved. Not just by us.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> That<61>s right! By his uncle too!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Bobby:</b> And by you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay Bobby, why don<6F>t we just come over here and let them have a
|
||||
little moment. (Drags Bobby away from Joey and Dina.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Come here! (Hugs Dina and Bobby looks to hug Rachel.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No! Seriously! What<61>s wrong with you?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>Closing Credits</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Ross are there.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> You<6F>re gonna love me so much. I got Sting tickets!! (Holds up two.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh my God! I do love you! How did you do it?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well<6C>let<65>s just say<61> (singing) <i>Rosss caaaaan</i>!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oo, where are the seats?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh, middle balcony.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, now would you say that that<61>s more than 50 yards away from
|
||||
Sting, his wife, or a member of his family?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Then that<61>s not breaking the law! I<>m there!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
</body></html>
|
Reference in New Issue
Block a user