mirror of
https://github.com/bvanroll/startrek-ml.git
synced 2025-08-29 12:02:45 +00:00
why isn't it commiting
This commit is contained in:
615
Data/Friends/ToConvert/The One With Phoebe’s Uterus.html
Normal file
615
Data/Friends/ToConvert/The One With Phoebe’s Uterus.html
Normal file
@@ -0,0 +1,615 @@
|
||||
|
||||
<!-- saved from url=(0055)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season4/411towpu.htm -->
|
||||
<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
|
||||
<title>The One With Phoebe<62>s Uterus</title>
|
||||
|
||||
<meta name="GENERATOR" content="Microsoft FrontPage 3.0">
|
||||
<meta name="Template" content="C:\Program Files\Microsoft Office\Templates\FRIENDS1.dot">
|
||||
<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
|
||||
|
||||
<body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" link="#008000" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
|
||||
|
||||
<h1 align="center"><strong>The One With Phoebe<62>s Uterus</strong></h1>
|
||||
|
||||
<hr>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>Written by: Seth Kirkland<br>
|
||||
Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<hr>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Frank and Alice are there talking with Phoebe.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh my God! I can<61>t believe my little brother is married!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Frank:</b> Oh I know!! (Both he and Alice squeal hysterically)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You guys, why didn<64>t you tell me you were eloping?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Frank:</b> <20>Cause it just sorta happened, y<>know we were at the
|
||||
courthouse, we were having lunch<63></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wait, wait, why were you at the courthouse? </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Frank:</b> We were having lunch. Yeah and then all of the sudden we were like,
|
||||
"Hey! Y'know, we<77>re here, having lunch let<65>s get married!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wow, a year and a half ago I didn<64>t even know I had a brother, and
|
||||
now I have a sister too. (They all hug, and Frank and Alice start kissing.) Okay. Okay.
|
||||
Stop it, don<6F>t. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Frank:</b> Uhh, yeah.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Alice:</b> We<57>ve been trying to get pregnant, uh pretty much ever since we got
|
||||
engaged, we thought we<77>d get a jump on things, y<>know no one<6E>s getting any
|
||||
younger.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Frank:</b> See the thing is umm, we<77>re not able to y<>know, uh, conceive.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Alice:</b> And we<77>ve tried everything, we<77>ve seen a bunch of doctors.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Frank:</b> Yeah, and they-and they say that our-that our only chance to have a baby
|
||||
is that if they take my sperm, her egg and put it together in a dish and then put it into
|
||||
another girl. So we were wondering if you could be the girl that we could put it into.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (shocked) That<61>s a really nice gift. I was thinking of like a gravy
|
||||
boat.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are trying to throw cards
|
||||
into a vase.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (entering with Ross) Hey! You guys! Check it out, check it out! (He<48>s
|
||||
wearing a blue blazer) Guess which job I got.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I don<6F>t know, but Donald Trump wants his blue blazer black.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(The gang is stunned.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Blue blazer back. He-he wants it back.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> But you-you said black. Why would he want his blue blazer black?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, you-you know what I meant.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> No, you messed it up. You<6F>re stupid.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> So what job did you get Joe?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, ah, tour guide at the museum. Yeah, Ross got it for me.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, how can you be a tour guide, don<6F>t you have to be a dinosaur
|
||||
expert or something?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No, not really. They give you all the information, it<69>s uh, it<69>s
|
||||
like memorizing a script. (Making like a tour guide) "And on your left, you have
|
||||
Tyrannosaurus Rex, a carnivore from the Jurassic period.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><strong>Chandler, Monica, and Rachel:</strong> Great!! That<61>s great!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh actually Joey, it<69>s the Cretasous period.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah but, I can pronounce Jurassic.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (entering) Hey!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>All:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Guess what. Frank Jr., and Alice got married!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>All:</b> Oh my God!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> And! And, they<65>re gonna have a baby! (The gang is shocked.) And!
|
||||
And, they want me to grow it for them in my uterus. (The gang is stunned into silence.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> My God!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Are you serious?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> You<6F>re really thinking about having sex with your brother?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ewww! And "Oh no!" It<49>s<EFBFBD>they just want me to be the
|
||||
surrogate. It<49>s her-it<69>s her egg and her sperm, and I<>m-I<>m just the
|
||||
oven, it<69>s totally their bun. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Huh.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What did you tell them?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to
|
||||
think about? I<>m gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> You<6F>re gonna be carrying their baby and give them a <em>Sony Play
|
||||
Station</em>?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Honey, this really is an incredible thing to do for them, but there are
|
||||
things to think about.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah, like you<6F>re gonna be pregnant. I mean pregnant.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I know!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Pheebs, you<6F>re talking about putting your body through an awful lot,
|
||||
I mean morning sickness, uhh, labour, and it<69>s all for somebody else!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, what<61>s your point?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, the stuff I just mentioned.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Wow! I don<6F>t know if I could ever do that. I always figured the
|
||||
first time I had a baby was with somebody I love and that baby would be a<>keeper.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Y'know you guys were a lot more supportive when I wanted to make denim
|
||||
furniture.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No, Pheebs, listen, if you decide to do this, we<77>ll be supportive
|
||||
like crazy.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>All:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> We just want you to think it through.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, honey, maybe you can talk to somebody who<68>s had a baby. Like
|
||||
your mom?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> My mom never gave birth. Oh! But my birth mom did.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Kathy are kissing.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kathy:</b> Umm, (moves her hand<6E>s down to his butt) I love this touchy. Can I
|
||||
take it to work with me?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, yeah, sure, it<69>s not mine anyway. It can with the pants.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kathy:</b> Oh! (They kiss and she leaves)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I am so jealous.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You guys are really right<68>there aren<65>t you?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes. Right where?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> In the beginning where y<>know it<69>s all sex and talking and sex
|
||||
and talking and<6E></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, you-you gotta love the talking.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> And the sex?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> All right, we haven<65>t had sex yet. Okay, what<61>s the big
|
||||
deal? Y<>know? This is special, and I want our love to grow until we move on to the
|
||||
next level.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, Chandler that is so nice.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> That is really nice<63>lying! No way is that the reason!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Why? Just because you<6F>re not mature enough to understand something
|
||||
like that?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No, he<68>s right, I<>m totally lying.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Ross makes an "I was right, and you weren<65>t face." And Rachel does
|
||||
Ross<EFBFBD>s little I<>m-flicking-you-off-but-I<>m-not-giving-you-the-finger
|
||||
banging of the fists.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Then what is it?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, Kathy<68>s last boyfriend was Joey.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> And you<6F>re afraid you won<6F>t be able to<74>fill his shoes.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No, I<>m afraid I won<6F>t be able to make love as well as him.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, I was going for the metaphor.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes, and I was saying the actual words.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> So big deal, so Joey<65>s had a lot of girlfriends, it doesn<73>t
|
||||
mean he<68>s great in bed.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> We share a wall! So either he<68>s great in bed, or she just likes
|
||||
to agree with him a lot.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Sweetie, with you it<69>s gonna be different. The sex is gonna be
|
||||
great, <20>cause you-you guys are in love.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Just go for it Chandler.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah, you should.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, you should, really.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Go on.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> All right, all right, I<>ll go sleep with my girlfriend. But
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>m just doing it for you guys.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The museum, Joey is giving a tour to a bunch of school kids.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay, now the Mastodon is from the semi-late Jurassic period.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Smart Kid:</b> Isn<73>t the Mastodon from the Pliocene Epic?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Shhh! This is a museum, no talking. Right down here, (Motions to a
|
||||
fossilised dinosaur foot.) we have a large foot. (Sees Ross working in one of the display
|
||||
cases.) Uhh, and over here we have Ross Geller. (Knocks on the glass) Everyone wave
|
||||
<EFBFBD>Hi<EFBFBD> to Ross. Ross is one of our most important scientists, look at him, hard at
|
||||
work. (Ross does the old "Putting a cigarette in your ear and pulling it out of your
|
||||
mouth trick.") Okay, moving right along. Come on.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Phoebe Sr.<2E>s house, there<72>s a knock on the door.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> It<49>s open! Come in!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hi!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> Hi!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I<>m sorry, I<>m late.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> Oh, that<61>s okay, it gave me time to finish glazing my nipples.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wow! You really go all out when you<6F>re expecting company.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> No, I was working on my pottery.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh! Ooh! Oh, I didn<64>t know that you did<69>pot.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> Well, yeah, mostly nudes. It combines my two passions, pottery and
|
||||
erotica.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ooh, erotiery!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> Hey! Okay! Well thanks for coming out to see me. I just-I just
|
||||
thought it would be a very good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person.
|
||||
Y<EFBFBD>know<EFBFBD></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> I really don<6F>t think it<69>s a very good idea, Phoebe.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Why not?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> Well, because you<6F>d be giving up a baby, and I-I really
|
||||
don<EFBFBD>t<EFBFBD>I don<6F>t know if there<72>s anything I can say that could make you
|
||||
understand the pain of giving up a baby. So, umm, (Picks up a puppy in the box next to the
|
||||
couch.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh no! No-no! I understand the pain! Don<6F>t-don<6F>t hurt the
|
||||
puppy.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> No-no-no, the-the puppy<70>s yours.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, I get a puppy!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> Well, yeah! I mean yeah, but only for three days.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Why?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> I realise I don<6F>t have any right to start get all parenty on you
|
||||
and everything now, but umm, (Sees that Phoebe isn<73>t paying attention and is busy
|
||||
mimicking the puppy.) uhh<68> Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy,
|
||||
it<EFBFBD>s very important. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> I mean, I know what I<>m talking about. I gave up two babies, and
|
||||
I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible
|
||||
it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every
|
||||
single day for the rest of your life. So, how ever hard it is to give up this puppy, it
|
||||
would be like a million times harder to give up a child. (Phoebe is playing with the puppy
|
||||
again, and not listening) I really shouldn<64>t have given you the puppy first.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> All right, I<>m sorry.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The museum<75>s worker cafeteria, Joey is eating lunch with the rest of the
|
||||
tour guides. Another tour guide tries to sit down in a seat Joey saved for Ross.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Uhh, do you mind sitting there. I<>m-I<>m saving this for my
|
||||
friend Ross.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tour Guide:</b> You mean Dr. Geller?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Doctor? Wow! I didn<64>t know he had a nickname.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tour Guide:</b> Oh, he won<6F>t sit here. Only the people in the white coats sit
|
||||
over there, (Points to there table) and only the people in the blue blazers sit here.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, how-how come?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tour Guide:</b> That<61>s just the way it is.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> That<61>s crazy.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tour Guide:</b> Maybe it<69>s crazy in a perfect world, a world without lab coats
|
||||
and blazers, but you not in a perfect world, you in a museum now. See that scientist in
|
||||
the classes, he and I used to play together all the time in grade school, but
|
||||
now<EFBFBD>(Turns around) Peter! Hey, Peter! It<49>s me Rhonda! From PS-129! I shared my
|
||||
puddin<EFBFBD> which you man! I gave you my <em>Snack Pack</em>! (to Joey) See, he pretend
|
||||
he don<6F>t even here me!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I-I think everybody<64>s pretending they don<6F>t hear you. Anyway,
|
||||
look, I don<6F>t know about you and your jackets and your separate tables, but Ross is
|
||||
one of my best friends, and if I save him a seat, I<>m telling you, he <b>will</b> sit
|
||||
in it! (Ross enters and goes over to the white table) Ross! Ross! Over here, man! I-I
|
||||
saved you seat.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> That<61>s okay, I<>m cool over here. I<>ll catch up with you
|
||||
later, Joey. (Joey is shocked.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Another woman enters without a coat or blazer and tries to sit at the <20>blue<75>
|
||||
table.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tour Guide:</b> Op, this is saved. (Joey wonders why) Gift shop.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating dinner, Monica and Rachel are sitting on
|
||||
the couch.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering) Hey, uh, I<>m really, really sorry about what happened in
|
||||
the cafeteria today.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> It<49>s no big deal. Hey, y<>know, you do what you gotta do. Right?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> But hey, it<69>s not just me, I mean the scientists and the tour guides <b>never</b>
|
||||
sit together.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Whatever.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> It<49>s like that everywhere, Joey! Okay, Mon, back me up here. Where
|
||||
you work the uh, waiters eat with the waiters, right? And the chefs eat with the other
|
||||
chefs, right?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I eat by myself in the alley because everybody hates me.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Look, Ross, really it<69>s-it<69>s no big deal. Y<>know you wear a
|
||||
white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we can<61>t be friends at work, then so
|
||||
be it. Y<>know, hey I understand. Y<>know? Hey, when I<>m in a play and
|
||||
you<EFBFBD>re in the audience, I don<6F>t talk to you, right? So it<69>s y<>know,
|
||||
it<EFBFBD>s uh, it<69>s cool. I<>ll see you tomorrow. (Leaves)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, when we<77>re in the audience he doesn<73>t talk to us, but he
|
||||
does wave.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is there with her puppy and is
|
||||
trying to sing it to sleep as Chandler enters.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hi.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Why is Phoebe singing to Carl Mulden?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ooh, y<>know what, I think it<69>s time for puppy to go out again.
|
||||
Come on, let<65>s go to the balcony.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Umm, the street. Come on, let<65>s go to the street. Ooh, listen,
|
||||
don<EFBFBD>t go onto the balcony until after I get back. (Leaves)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (to Chandler) So, did you do it?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes, yes, we had the sex.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Uh-oh, it was bad?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> It was fine, y<>know? But she didn<64>t agree with me as
|
||||
strongly as she agreed with Joey. She was more like, "I see you point, I<>m all
|
||||
right with it."</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, it was the first time. Y<>know, there<72>s not always a lot
|
||||
of agreement the first time.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, not girls anyway, guys agree (snaps her fingers) like that.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Look, you have to help me! Okay? I mean, I know what to do with a
|
||||
woman, y<>know, I know where everything goes, it<69>s always nice. But I need to
|
||||
know what makes it go from nice to, "My God! Somebody<64>s killing her in
|
||||
there!"</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> All right, I<>m gonna show you something a lot of guys don<6F>t
|
||||
know. Rach, give me that pad, please? (She does so and Monica starts drawing on it) All
|
||||
right. Now<6F></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Look, you don<6F>t have to draw an actual wo<77>whoa! She<68>s
|
||||
hot!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. (She starts labelling
|
||||
them) You got one, two three, four (Chandler is shocked to find out there<72>s more than
|
||||
three), five, six, and seven!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (shocked) There are seven?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Let me see that. (Monica shows her) Oh, yeah.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (Points to one) That<61>s one?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> It<49>s kind of an important one!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, y<>know-y<>know what, I was looking at it upside down.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, y<>know, sometimes that helps. (She realises what that
|
||||
could<EFBFBD>ve meant.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (continuing) Now, most guys will hit uh, 1-2-3 and then go to 7 and set
|
||||
up camp.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> That-that<61>s bad?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well if you go to <em>Disneyland</em>, you don<6F>t spend the whole
|
||||
day on the Materhorn.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well you might if it were anything like 7!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> All right uh, the important thing is to take your time, you want to hit
|
||||
<EFBFBD>em all, and you mix <20>em up. You gotta keep them on their toes.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oo, toes!! Well, for some people. (Chandler eyes her and her toes.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3,
|
||||
5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7,
|
||||
6-7, 7, <20>7..<2E>7<EFBFBD>7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7<>(mouths 7)! (They both lean
|
||||
back on the couch satisfied.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The museum cafeteria, Joey is eating with the tour guides as Ross enters.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b><b>Older Scientist:</b></b> Dr. Geller, there<72>s a seat over here. (Motions to
|
||||
an empty chair at the <20>white<74> table.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Thank you, Dr. Phillips, but I<>m having my lunch at this table, here
|
||||
in the middle. I<>m having lunch right here, with my good friend Joey, if he<68>ll
|
||||
sit with me.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (standing up) I will sit with you Dr. Geller. (He goes over to his table
|
||||
and they shake hands.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Y'know, we work in a museum of natural history, and yet there is something
|
||||
unnatural about the way we eat lunch. Now, I look around this cafeteria, and y<>know
|
||||
what I see, I see-I see division. Division, between people in white coats and people in
|
||||
blue blazers, and I ask myself, "My God why?!" Now, I say we shed these-these
|
||||
coats that separate us, and we get to know the people underneath. (He takes off his coat
|
||||
and throws it down.) I<>m Ross! I<>m divorced, and I have a kid!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (stands up, and throws his coat on the floor) I<>m Joey! I<>m an
|
||||
actor! I don<6F>t know squat about dinosaurs!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Another Tour Guide:</b> (standing up and removing his coat) I<>m Ted, and I just
|
||||
moved here a month ago, and New York really scares me.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> All right, there you go!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, you hang in there Teddy!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b><b>Older Scientist:</b></b> I<>m Andrew, and I didn<64>t pay for this pear.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, good-good for you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Tour Guide:</b> I<>m Rhonda, (motions to her breasts) and these aren<65>t
|
||||
real! (Joey and Ross look at each other, shocked)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Wow, Rhonda.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Another Scientist:</b> I<>m Scott.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, okay, Scott!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Another Scientist:</b> And I need to flip the light switch on and off 17 times
|
||||
before I leave a room or my family will die.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, with the puppy, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the
|
||||
couch.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> My mom<6F>s gonna be here any minute. I can<61>t do this, I
|
||||
can<EFBFBD>t give him up. Yes<65>no, I can. I don<6F>t want to. But I can. No.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oo, I can<61>t watch this, it<69>s like <em>Sophie<EFBFBD>s Choice</em>.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Y<>know, I never saw that.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ooh, it was only okay.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ooh, I can<61>t do this. My mom was right. If I can<61>t-if I
|
||||
can<EFBFBD>t give him up, then there<72>s no way I can give up a baby. Ohh, God, Frank and
|
||||
Alice are gonna be so crushed. What-what else, what else can I give <20>em<65>a
|
||||
kidney!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Alice:</b> (entering with Frank) Hi!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Frank:</b> Hi!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Alice:</b> Uhh, we were just in the neighbourhood, so<73></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Frank:</b> Yeah, so we just thought we<77>d stop by and let you know there<72>s
|
||||
still no pressure.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Alice:</b> None. But if there was something you wanted to tell us, we<77>re just
|
||||
gonna be right over there (points to the counter) having coffee.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Frank:</b> (noticing the puppy) Oh, who<68>s this little guy?! (Grabs the puppy)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh! Ooh! Umm!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Frank:</b> Oh, he<68>s so cute, he reminds me of my old dog, Tumour.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Alice:</b> You are so precious, I could just take you home.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey, why don<6F>t you?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Frank:</b> Are you serious?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Uh-huh, yeah!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Frank:</b> Oh, thanks.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What are you doing?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, I<>m really okay with this. Y<>know why? <20>Cause look at
|
||||
them, and I made that, so<73> I know it<69>s gonna be like a million times harder to
|
||||
give up a baby but, oh my God, it<69>s gonna feel like a million times better, right? I
|
||||
wanna do this. (To Frank and Alice) I wanna carry your baby.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Alice:</b> (shocked) Oh! Oh! Oh! Thank you so much! You don<6F>t know what this
|
||||
means to us! Oh!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Frank:</b> Oh my God, I think I<>m gonna cry!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> It<49>s gonna be so great.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> (entering) Hi! What<61>s going on?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, I-I gave them the puppy and it made them so happy that I decided
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>m gonna carry their baby.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> But Phoebe<62></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No-no-no, I know, but you and I are different people though, and this is
|
||||
a totally different situation, and I know that I am not gonna regret this.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe Sr:</b> Oh, I-I-I understand all that, but it<69>s just<73>that was my
|
||||
puppy.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>Closing Credits</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are sitting at the table.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Would you ever be a surrogate for anyone?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> It depends on who asked.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What if I asked?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, Mon, sure.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Really?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes. (Pause) You<6F>re not asking are you?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> No.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes! Totally!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Kathy runs in, hair all out of place, and hugs Monica.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kathy:</b> Oh! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Yes! Thank you! (Runs back to
|
||||
Chandler)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
</body></html>
|
Reference in New Issue
Block a user