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Data/Friends/ToConvert/The One With Rachel's New Dress.html
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<!-- saved from url=(0055)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season4/418dress.htm -->
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<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
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<title>The One With Rachel's New Dress</title>
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|
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<meta name="GENERATOR" content="Microsoft FrontPage 3.0">
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<meta name="Template" content="C:\Program Files\Microsoft Office\Templates\FRIENDS1.dot">
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<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
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|
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<body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" link="#008000" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
|
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|
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<h1 align="center">The One With Rachel<65>s New Dress</h1>
|
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|
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<hr>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>Teleplay by: Jill Condon & Amy Toomin<br>
|
||||
Story by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen<br>
|
||||
Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<hr>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters carrying a drum.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey! Wow, it <b>is</b> true what they say, pregnant bellies look like
|
||||
a drum.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (not amused) Ha-ha. (She sits down on the couch.) No, it<69>s just
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>m so pregnant that I<>my guitar doesn<73>t fit anymore. So I thought
|
||||
<EFBFBD>til I<>m not, I<>m just gonna play all my songs on this drum. It sounds <b>really</b>
|
||||
cool!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> All right.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Listen. Listen. (She starts to play and sing.) <i>Smelly cat, smelly
|
||||
cat, what are they feeding you? </i></p><i>
|
||||
</i>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Wow, Pheebs! That sounds great!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I know! I know, and I<>ve only been playing for like an hour!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Alice:</b> (entering) Phoebe! Phoebe! Hi! Hi!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey! What are you doing here?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Alice:</b> Umm, actually, I came down to ask you a big favour.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, well, don<6F>t tell me you want to keep more of your stuff in my
|
||||
uterus.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Alice:</b> (laughs) No. No. No. (Sits down.) Okay, now, see, I wanna name the girl
|
||||
baby Leslie, and Frank wants to name one of the boy babies Frank JR. JR. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Wouldn<64>t that be Frank the III?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Alice:</b> Don<6F>t get me started. (To Phoebe) Anyway, umm, since there are three
|
||||
babies and umm, we both got to put our names in, we would be truly honoured if you named
|
||||
the other boy baby.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wow! That<61>s so great! Oh! Oh! Cougar.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Alice:</b> You think about it. (Leaves)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Ross<73>s apartment, he and Emily are getting ready to go to the airport.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Emily:</b> I left a bra drying on the shower rod, you don<6F>t think your son will
|
||||
think it<69>s yours and be horribly traumatised? </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, if mommy can have a wife, daddy can have a bra.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Emily:</b> (checks the clock) Ohh, it<69>s time to go.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, no-no-no, see, that-that clock<63>s a little fast, uh, we have 17
|
||||
minutes. Huh, what can we do in 17 minutes? Twice?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Emily:</b> Well that<61>s ambitious.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(They kiss but are interrupted by a knock on the door.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, uh, you can ignore that.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Emily:</b> That<61>s Carol with your son!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Uhh, believe me when he<68>s older, he<68>ll understand.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Carol:</b> (knocking on the door) Ross!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I<>ll be right there. (He goes over and opens the door to Carol,
|
||||
Susan, and Ben.) (To Ben.) Hello! (To Carol.) Hello! (To Susan.) Hey. Uhh, Emily, this is
|
||||
Carol and Susan.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Susan:</b> Hey, it<69>s so nice to finally meet you!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Emily:</b> Me too!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Carol:</b> Ohh, y<>know, Susan<61>s gonna be shooting a commercial in London
|
||||
next week.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Susan:</b> Oh yeah, I<>m so excited, I<>ve never been there.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Emily:</b> Oh, well, I<>ll show you around.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Susan:</b> That would be great! Also, uh, I was hoping to catch a show so if you can
|
||||
make any suggestions<6E></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Emily:</b> Oh, there<72>s tonnes of terrific stuff<66>I<EFBFBD>ll go with you!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Susan:</b> Ahh!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Ross accidentally, on purpose, bumps into Susan.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Look at you two, bonding, making us late for the airport so<73></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Emily:</b> Are you all right?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Susan:</b> Oh, he<68>s fine. He<48>s fine. It<49>s just that us getting along
|
||||
is difficult for him, because he doesn<73>t like me.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh come on! That<61>s-that<61>s<EFBFBD> true.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are playing
|
||||
foosball as Phoebe enters.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hi!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey! Do we have a baby name yet?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ugh! No! This is so hard! I went through this whole book (Holds up a
|
||||
book) and found nothing! I want a name that<61>s really like, y<>know strong and
|
||||
confident, y<>know? Like-like Exxon. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, it certainly worked for that Valdez kid.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ooh-ooh, Pheebs, you want a strong name? How about, The Hulk?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, I<>m-I<>m not sure about Hulk, but I like the idea of a name
|
||||
starting with "The."</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, want a good name, go with Joey. Joey<65>s your pal. Joey<65>s your
|
||||
buddy. "Where is everybody?" "Well, they<65>re hanging out with
|
||||
Joey."</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, y<>know what, if you<6F>re gonna do that, if you<6F>re
|
||||
gonna name him Joey, you should name him Chandler. (Phoebe doesn<73>t think so.) Oh,
|
||||
come on! Chandler<65>s funny, sophisticated, and he<68>s very loveable, once you get
|
||||
to know him.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh well, hey, Joey<65>s loveable too! But the thing about Joey is, if
|
||||
you need him, he<68>ll be there.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, Chandler will be there for you too. I mean, well, he might be a
|
||||
little late, but-but, he<68>ll be there. And he<68>ll bring you some cold soda, if
|
||||
want you need him for is that you<6F>re really hot.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> What do ya say? What do ya say?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey
|
||||
and Chandler are great names. (They both stare at her.) But, all right, I
|
||||
don<EFBFBD>t<EFBFBD>maybe I<>ll just name him The Hulk.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I knew I shouldn<64>t have mentioned it! That<61>s what I wanted to
|
||||
name my kid!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking and Rachel is
|
||||
getting ready for a date with Joshua.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey, Mon, if you were hoping to sleep with Joshua the first time
|
||||
tonight, which one of these would you want to be wearing. (She<68>s holding two frilly,
|
||||
lace nighties.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Y<>know what? It <b>really</b> creeps me out choosing other
|
||||
people<EFBFBD>s sex clothes.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Sorry. I<>m so exited! I<>ve been waiting for this for months! I
|
||||
got my hair coloured! I got new sheets! I<>m making him a <b>very</b> fancy meal. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Um-hmm.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What am I making him by the way?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, you<6F>re making him a frieze salad with goat cheese and pine
|
||||
nuts, wild nuts, wild rice, roast asparagus, and salmon au croup.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I thought I was making him filet mignon? </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah, you were, but you decided to make salmon because you had some left
|
||||
over at the restaurant. And then you realised if you (Points at Rachel) bitched about it,
|
||||
then you (Points to herself) would stop cooking, and you (Points at Rachel) would have to
|
||||
make your famous baked potato and Diet Coke.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Wow, I really get crabby when I cook.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are
|
||||
there as Ross enters.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> So uh, Emily called last night<68></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> And <b>now</b> you<6F>re giving me the message!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Turns out them Emily is just <b>crazy</b> about Susan. Yeah, they<65>re
|
||||
going to the theatre together! They<65>re going to dinner! They<65>re going horseback
|
||||
riding!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> God, Susan is so fun!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Look, this is just a little too familiar, okay? For like, for like six
|
||||
months before Carol and I spilt up, all I heard was: "My friend Susan is so smart. My
|
||||
friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great."</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> You actually think that something can happen between Emily and Susan?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, they<65>re going to the gym together! Two women! Stretching!
|
||||
Y<EFBFBD>know they-they take a steam together! Things get a little playful<75>didn<64>t
|
||||
you see <i>Personal Best</i>?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No, but I<>m gonna!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hi! Hi! You<6F>re crazy! Okay? This is Emily. Emily is straight.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> How do you know? I mean we thought Carol was straight before I married
|
||||
her!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, I definitely. I don<6F>t like the name Ross.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What a weird way to kick me when I<>m down.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No! No! I-I meant for the baby!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh. What<61>s wrong with Ross?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well, it<69>s just y<>know that something like this would never to
|
||||
like The Hulk, y<>know<6F></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Actually that-that<61>s not true, in <i>The Incredible Hulk</i> uh, No.
|
||||
72, Dr. Bruce Banner found<6E> (Sees everyone staring at him and stops.) Y<>know,
|
||||
ugh, nevermind, my girlfriend<6E>s a lesbian. (Leaves.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> So, I decided I<>m definitely going to go with either Joey or
|
||||
Chandler.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh! Oh-oh, you gotta pick Joey! I mean, name one famous person named
|
||||
Chandler.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Raymond Chandler.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Someone you didn<64>t make up!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, there are <b>no</b> famous Joey<65>s. Except for, huh, Joey
|
||||
Buttafucco.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, that guy really hurt us.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well, how about a compromise then, okay? What if it<69>s like
|
||||
y<EFBFBD>know, Chanoey?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, look, Joey! Come on, think about it, first of all, he<68>ll
|
||||
never be President. There<72>s never gonna be a President Joey.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right look man, I didn<64>t want to bring this up, but Chandler, is
|
||||
the stupidest name I ever heard in my life! It<49>s not even a name; it<69>s barely
|
||||
even a word. Okay? It<49>s kinda like chandelier, but it<69>s not! All right?
|
||||
It<EFBFBD>s a stupid, stupid <b>non</b>-name!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Wow, you<6F>re, you<6F>re right. I have a horrible, horrible name.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I<>m sorry man, I didn<64>t<EFBFBD>I<EFBFBD>m-I<>m sorry. I<>m
|
||||
sorry. (Goes over and comforts him.) </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> So I guess it<69>s Joey then!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on her dinner date with
|
||||
Joshua.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joshua:</b> This is so nice. Thank you for doing this.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohh, please! Cooking soothes me. (They kiss.) Ahh. So, dig in!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joshua:</b> Great! Oh, it all looks sooo good!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (taking a bite) Hmmm!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joshua:</b> Oh my God!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh I know, my God, this is so<73>this rice is so<73>I am so good.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joshua:</b> Behind you?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (sees the chick and the duck) Oh, yeah, I<>m sorry. They used to
|
||||
live here; sometimes they migrate back over.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joshua:</b> (getting up and backing away from they.) Is there ah, is there some way
|
||||
they can not be here. It<49>s just ah, farm birds really kinda freak me out!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, sure, okay. Okay.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Rachel gets up and ushers them into the hall, as they pass Joshua, he leaps onto the
|
||||
counter to avoid them. Rachel drops them off in the hall, and knocks on Joey<65>s door.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (answering the door.) Hey, how did you do that?! Come on in. (He brings
|
||||
them inside.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Cut back to Rachel<65>s date.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> All gone! So, farm birds, huh?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joshua:</b> Yeah, it<69>s-it<69>s my only weird thing, I swear. And I-I-I
|
||||
would<EFBFBD>ve told you about it, but I didn<64>t know they would be here.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joshua:</b> So, all right.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(They both sit back down.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay. So, can I serve you a little of<6F>What? What? What? (She sees
|
||||
that Joshua isn<73>t relaxed.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joshua:</b> Nothing I uh, it<69>s just that I know that they<65>re still out
|
||||
there.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> But, they<65>re across the hall! I mean that<61>s two doors away, it
|
||||
would take them a long time to peck their way back over here.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joshua:</b> Okay, that<61>s-that<61>s not funny. Uhh.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, y<>know, would you feel better if we went someplace else? I
|
||||
mean we could pack all this stuff up and y<>know go to your apartment.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joshua:</b> Oh, they<65>re working on this week, it<69>s a total mess. But uh,
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>m staying at my parents<74> house, we could go there.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Your parents<74>?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joshua:</b> Yeah, they<65>re out of town.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohh.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joshua:</b> Yeah-yeah, it<69>s this <b>huge</b> place, and-and it<69>s got this
|
||||
gorgeous view of the park, and very, very romantic. What do you say?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah that works.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(He moves to kiss her, but stops when he hears the duck.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joshua:</b> They-they-they can smell fear.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Ross<73>s apartment, Carol has come to pick up Ben.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (opening the door.) Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Carol:</b> Hey! How<6F>s Ben?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, I asked him if he wanted to eat, he said, "No." I asked
|
||||
him if he wanted to sleep, he said, "No." I asked him what he wanted to do, he
|
||||
said, "No." So, he<68>s sweeping. (We see Ben playing with a broom and a
|
||||
dustpan.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Carol:</b> Hey, Ben! Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> So umm, any word from Susan?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Carol:</b> Ooh, yeah! She said she<68>s having sooo much fun with Emily.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh, by the by, did it uh, did it ever occur to you that, I
|
||||
don<EFBFBD>t know, maybe they might be having a little too much fun?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Carol:</b> What<61>s too much fun?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Y<>know, the kind of fun, you and Susan had when we were married.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Carol:</b> Oh my God, you are <b>so</b> paranoid! </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Am I?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Carol:</b> Yes!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> <b>Am I</b>?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Carol:</b> I can<61>t speak for Emily, but <b>Susan</b> is in a loving, committed
|
||||
relationship.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh-huh, Carol, so were we. All right, just-just imagine for a moment,
|
||||
Susan meets someone and-and they really hit it off. Y<>know? Say-say they<65>re
|
||||
coming back from the theatre, and they-they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks,
|
||||
they<EFBFBD>re laughing, y<>know, someone innocently touches someone else<73>
|
||||
There<EFBFBD>s electricity, it<69>s new. It<49>s exciting. Are you telling me there
|
||||
isn<EFBFBD>t even the slightest possibility of something happening?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Carol:</b> Maybe.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> OH MY GOD!! I didn<64>t really believe it until you just said it!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Joshua<75>s parents<74> apartment, Rachel and Joshua are entering.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joshua:</b> <20>and even though none of the other kids believed me, I swear to
|
||||
God, that duck pushed me!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Wow! This place is fabulous!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joshua:</b> Yeah, yeah, let me show you around. This is the uh, downstairs living
|
||||
room.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Whoa-whoa, there<72>s two living rooms? God, growing up here, this
|
||||
place must<73>ve been a real babe magnet.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joshua:</b> Yeah, well, it would<6C>ve been, but uh, my parents just moved here.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohh, you should know, this place is a real babe magnet. Wanna make out?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(They kiss.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joshua:</b> Hey, here<72>s an idea. Why don<6F>t uh, I put the food in the
|
||||
fridge and we can eat it later?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> That sounds like a plan. Umm, is there a place I can go freshen up?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joshua:</b> Oh yeah, yeah uh, it<69>s down the hall and uh, second door to your
|
||||
left.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ah.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(She goes down the hall. Joshua goes to put the food away when his parents walk in.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Burgin:</b> Oh, hi, darling!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joshua:</b> Mom, Dad, what are you guys doing here?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Burgin:</b> Oh, well we cut the trip short.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Burgin:</b> France sucks!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joshua:</b> Umm, this may be a little weird, but I-I-I got a date here.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Burgin:</b> Oh, say no more!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Burgin:</b> We<57>ll just grab some food and take it with us right upstairs,
|
||||
and we<77>ll be right out of you hair.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joshua:</b> Oh, that-that would be great. So you didn<64>t even get to Italy?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Burgin:</b> Yep, sucks!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(They all go into the kitchen. Just then, Rachel comes back from the bathroom; she had
|
||||
removed her dress and is wearing nothing but a lace nightie. She tries to find someplace
|
||||
seductive to wait for Joshua. She tries to sit on the piano, but it makes too much noise.
|
||||
So she goes over to the couch and kinda half lays down to wait for Joshua. Joshua comes in
|
||||
from the kitchen, sees Rachel, and freezes.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi you!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joshua:</b> Oh my God!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I know, I can do more than cook.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Just then, his parents enter. Rachel gasps.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Burgin:</b> I like her. She sees smart.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Joshua<75>s parents<74> apartment, continued from earlier.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joshua:</b> Uhh, Rachel, my parents<74></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohh! It<49>s so nice to meet you. (She goes over and shakes their
|
||||
hands.) Hello. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Burgin:</b> Hi.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hello.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Burgin:</b> Hello. Well, Joshua, that $500 was for groceries.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What? This-this, no, oh no, no-no-no, this is
|
||||
not<EFBFBD>that<EFBFBD>s-that<61>s not what it is. See, see, okay, I work in fashion, see
|
||||
and-and, this is a real dress actually. It<49>s-it<69>s, they<65>re-they<65>re
|
||||
wearing it in Milan, so part of my job is too wear the clothes, and then I see how people
|
||||
respond, and then I report back to my superiors at <i>Bloomingdale<EFBFBD>s</i>, so<73>
|
||||
And obviously in uh, in-in this case, (She grabs a pen and paper) I am going to report
|
||||
back, "USA not ready."</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mrs. Burgin:</b> Maybe in L.A?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joshua:</b> There you go.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Burgin:</b> So, have you kids eaten yet?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, we were going to do that after<65>I mean umm, next.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Burgin:</b> Well, we<77>re starving, why don<6F>t we all go get something to
|
||||
eat?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, yeah, well<6C> Yeah, no use wasting this baby, just lyin<69>
|
||||
around the house. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Burgin:</b> So<53> We go eat.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Mr. Burgin:</b> You<6F>ll wear that. We<57>ll be eating, and of course,
|
||||
you<EFBFBD>ll be wearing that.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is looking for a new
|
||||
name in Phoebe<62>s book of names.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Dude, I am sorry about what I said!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No, no, you<6F>re right, it is a ridiculous name!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> It<49>s not that bad.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes it is! From now on, I have no first name.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> So, you<6F>re just Bing?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I have no name.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> All right, so, what are we supposed to call you?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay uh, for now, temporarily, you can call me, Clint.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No way are you cool enough to pull of Clint.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, so what name am I cool enough to pull off?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Umm, Gene.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> It<49>s Clint. It<49>s Clint! (He heads for his bedroom.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> See you later, Gene.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Bye, Gene.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> It<49>s Clint! <b>Clint</b>!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> What<61>s up with Gene?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is telling Phoebe and Monica of her date.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> So, you wore your nightie to dinner?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, when the uh, waiter spilled
|
||||
water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh my God!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, no!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No, it<69>s all right. I got nice boobs. (Phoebe and Monica nod there
|
||||
heads in agreement.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (returning from the phone.) So, I just picked up a message from Emily, she
|
||||
and Susan are going to a poetry reading together! </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> So?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> So! Poetry? Susan<61>s gay! They<65>re being gay together!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Emily<6C>s straight.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, wake up!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wow, Carol really messed you up!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Excuse me?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, she turned you into this-this-this untrusting, crazy, jealous,
|
||||
sycophant. (They all look at her.) All right, so I don<6F>t know what sycophant means,
|
||||
but the rest is right.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Look, I don<6F>t know what you<6F>re talking about, I am not a crazy,
|
||||
jealous person.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Huh.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> She<68>s totally right! When we were together, you got all freaked out
|
||||
about Mark and there was nothing going on.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> This totally makes sense!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> It does not!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, sure it does! In high school, you weren<65>t jealous at all even
|
||||
though <b>all</b> your girlfriends were cheating on you!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> All right, all right, so up until <20>92-93 he was very trusting, then
|
||||
<EFBFBD>94 hit, Carol left him and bamn! Paranoid city!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Absolutely! Absolutely!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> This is so much fun!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> This is <b>not</b> fun!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Look, all we<77>re trying to say is, don<6F>t let what happened with
|
||||
Carol ruin what you got with Emily.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah. The <20>92 Ross wouldn<64>t.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, I still think I was right about that whole Mark thing.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What<61>yeah<61>what, y<>know what? I hope Emily <b>is</b> a
|
||||
lesbian.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is showing off more of her
|
||||
drum skills to Joey by rubbing one of the sticks back and forth across the drum.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Drum roll.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (entering) Okay. Okay. All right. Help! Am I a Mark, or a John?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Nah, you<6F>re not tall enough to be a Mark, but you might make a good
|
||||
Barney.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> All right look, am I serious, okay? Tomorrow at 3:30 I am going down
|
||||
to the courthouse.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You<6F>re actually going through with this?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, look, this name has been holding me back my entire life. Okay,
|
||||
it<EFBFBD>s probably why kids picked on me in school, and why I never do well with
|
||||
women<EFBFBD> So, as of 4 o<>clock tomorrow, I<>m either gonna be Mark Johnson or
|
||||
John Markson.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You got problems because of you! Not your name! All right, this has got
|
||||
to stop! Chandler is a great name! In fact<63>yes, (To Joey) I<>m, I<>m sorry. I
|
||||
know you really wanted me to name the baby Joey, but eh, so, I<>m-I<>m, I<>m
|
||||
gonna, I<>m gonna name the baby Chandler.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (pleased) Really?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, but you have to keep the name too!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay. Thanks.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> You wanna hug it out?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(They both hug.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yay! </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yay! </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yay<61>oh<6F>yay! Okay, I gotta go tell Frank and Alice! Right now!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ooh, uh<75> (She grabs her coat and runs out.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Bye, Pheebs!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, bye! </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(She exits, and after the door is closed, Chandler turns to Joey and<6E>)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Ha! Ha! Ha!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ohh! (Realises it was all a trick to get Phoebe to name the baby
|
||||
Chandler.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>Closing Credits</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The Airport, Carol and Ross are waiting for Emily and Susan to deplane. A
|
||||
gorgeous woman walks by and they both turn to watch her go.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Nice luggage.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Carol:</b> I was gonna say<61></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Susan and Emily get off.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Susan:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(They both run and hug they<65>re respective partners.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hi!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Emily:</b> Hey! I missed you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, I missed you too.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Susan:</b> (To Emily) Thanks for everything, I had such a great time.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Emily:</b> Oh, so did I.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(They hug and give each other a little peck on the cheek.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (To Carol) No tongue. (And gives her the thumbs up.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
</body></html>
|
Reference in New Issue
Block a user