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<h1 align="center">The One With Ross<73> Big Step Forward</h1>
<hr>
<p>Written by: Robert Carlock<br>
Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:webmaster@thecfsi.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
<hr>
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is looking around the shop as Phoebe returns from getting
some more coffee.]</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Phoebe?</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah?</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Look at that guy by the window, wow!</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> He<48>s awfully short and I think he<68>s talking to himself. And to
be completely honest, he<68>s not that good in bed.</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean it<69>s like every guy I
see<EFBFBD>I mean look here. (Points behind them) Look at that guy for example, I mean
normally that<61>s not someone I would-would be attracted to, but right now, with the
way I<>m feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wait a second! This is about the fourth month of your pregnancy, right?</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> This is completely normal, around the fourth month your hormones start
going crazy.</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Really?! So this has happened to you?</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh absolutely yeah! Oh and keep in mind, now, I was carrying triplets so
in, y<>know, medical terms I was-I was thrice as randy.</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Wow! This explains so much! Last weekend, I went from store to store
sitting on Santa<74>s lap.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah. Yeah, I remember trying to steal a cardboard cutout of Evander
Holyfield from a <i>Foot Locker</i>.</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ah.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah.</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, y<>know what? I go see my doctor tomorrow, I<>ll ask her
about this. Maybe she can give me a pill or something.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah. Yeah, that<61>s what you need a good<6F>pill.</p>
<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are there as Mona enters.]</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> Hey! (To Joey) Hey!</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hi!</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> Hi! Look! I got our pictures developed from Rockefeller Center.</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh great! Hey-hey Joey, do you want to check out pictures of me and Mona
ice skating?</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh uh, ordinarily I would love too, but I am just swamped right now.
(Brushes something off of his shirt and looks around, but doesn<73>t move from his
chair.)</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey where-where are the pictures that creepy pretzel vendor took of us
together?</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> Oh yeah, probably at the end. (Flips to the end.) Oh my God! He only took
pictures of my breasts!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> I<>m missin<69> picture time?! (Jumps over to look, Ross glares at
him and he retreats.)</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (sitting down next to Ross) Y<>know she has a face Ross!</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> Okay. Okay, here<72>s a good one of us.</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Wow! That is a good one! Wow, it looks like a, like a holiday card
y<EFBFBD>know, with the tree in the middle and the skaters and the snow.</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> Y<>know, every year I say I<>m gonna send out holiday cards and I
never do it. Do you wanna, do you wanna send this one out together?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> (pause) Together? Like-like to people?</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> Yeah, y<>know. Happy holidays from Mona and Ross. It<49>ll be cute,
okay?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay. (Not happy about it.)</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> Oh, I gotta get to work. So call me later?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh sure, sure.</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> Bye guys.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Bye.</p>
<p>(Mona exits.)</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> (To Ross) Congratulations! You just got married!</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> I know. Can you believe that?</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wait, I<>m-I<>m sorry. What<61>s the big deal about a holiday
card?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Married couples send out cards, families send out cards, people who have
been dating for a couple of months do not send out cards! What-what is she crazy?!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey-hey-hey, hey that<61>s your wife you<6F>re talking about!</p>
<p>[Scene: Chandler<65>s Office, his boss Doug is entering, Monica is there as well.]</p>
<p><b>Doug:</b> Bing! Ho! And the Bing-ette!</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Honey, you remember my boss Doug right?</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yes, hi.</p>
<p><b>Doug:</b> Hi. So good news, the divorce is final. I signed the papers this A.M.</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I didn<64>t know you and Carol were getting divorced, I<>m
sorry.</p>
<p><b>Doug:</b> Sorry? Finally chewed my leg out of that bear trap. Hey, congratulations
to you guys though!</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> No leg-chewing for us sir.</p>
<p><b>Doug:</b> Oh well, give it time. So the divorce, the marriage, we<77>ve got a lot
to celebrate. How about we all go out to dinner tomorrow night?</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> I can<61>t think of anything we<77>re doing. (Quietly) Why
can<EFBFBD>t I think of anything we<77>re doing?</p>
<p><b>Doug:</b> Tomorrow night it is then, I should be out of court by six. They keep
throwing these sexual harassment cases at me and I keep knocking them out of the park!</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, I<>ll see you tomorrow! (Doug exits.) Just so you know,
we<EFBFBD>re not seeing him tomorrow. (Chandler wonders why.) I-I cannot spend another
evening with that man. Do you remember how he behaved at our wedding?</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No.</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> That<61>s because he wasn<73>t invited because of the way he behaved
at our engagement party.</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh yeah. Boy, urine cuts <b>right</b> through an ice sculpture
doesn<EFBFBD>t it?</p>
<p>[Scene: Ross's Apartment, there<72>s a knock on the door and he opens it to Mona.]</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> Hi!</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey!</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> Hey, I went by the photo shop, take a look, here is a mockup of our card.
What do you think?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Huh. Wow, this is great.</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> Now, do you think it should say, "Love Ross and Mona?"</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, we-we haven<65>t said that to each other yet, but I guess its okay
to say it to other people.</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> How many did you want? I<>m getting a hundred.</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> A hundred?! Well, I-I guess I<>ll take a<>Mona, uh<75>I-I<>m
not sure about the whole uh, card thing.</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> Really? Why not?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Sending out a holiday card, together, I mean I just don<6F>t know if
we<EFBFBD>re really quite there yet.</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> Oh y<>know, I didn<64>t think of it that way. You<6F>re right.
You<EFBFBD>re right. So, can I ask you a question? </p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah.</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> Where are we?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Huh.</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> Y<>know, like where are we? Where is this relationship going?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hmm<6D></p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> I mean I love spending time with you, y<>know I just<73>I hope
we<EFBFBD>re moving forward. I mean, we should probably talk about that. Don<6F>t you
think?</p>
<p>(Pause.)</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Let<65>s do the card!</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> What?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> The card! I think we<77>re there!</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> Okay. I<>But I think we should still have this conversation.</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Really?! I mean, even with the card?</p>
<p>[Scene: Rachel<65>s Doctor<6F>s Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse
enters.]</p>
<p><b>Nurse:</b> Hi!</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi!</p>
<p><b>Nurse:</b> Just so you know, Dr. Long can<61>t be here today, she was called to
the hospital, so Dr. Schiff will be seeing you.</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, okay. Hey, can I ask you a question? Was it me, or-or was the guy
who took my blood sample really cute? Y<>know who I<>m talking about, bald
haircut, hairy fingers<72> (Stops when she realizes it was her.)</p>
<p><b>Dr. Schiff:</b> (entering) Hi Rachel? I<>m Dr. Schiff. (By the way, he<68>s an
attractive man.)</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes, you are.</p>
<p><b>Dr. Schiff:</b> So, how<6F>s it going?</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, really, really good. But enough about me, come on! Where-where are
you from? What do you do?</p>
<p><b>Dr. Schiff:</b> I<>m a doctor.</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Right! Right! I-I actually meant in your spare time, do you cook? Do you
ski? Or do you just hang out with your wife or girlfriend?</p>
<p><b>Dr. Schiff:</b> Uh, I don<6F>t have a wife or girlfriend, but I do like to ski.</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, I love to ski! How amazing is this?!</p>
<p><b>Dr. Schiff:</b> So, are you experiencing any discomfort?</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No. I<>m very comfortable.</p>
<p><b>Dr. Schiff:</b> Any painful gas?</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No! Shoot, Dr. Schiff what kind of question is that?!</p>
<p><b>Dr. Schiff:</b> Okay then, would you like to lie down on the table?</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well would you like me to lie down on the table?</p>
<p><b>Dr. Schiff:</b> I<>m sorry, is there something going on here?</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Do you feel it too?</p>
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh hey! So, how did your doctor<6F>s appointment go?</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, let<65>s see. Uh, they gave me cute doctor today and in the
middle of the exam I put my pinky in his chin dimple.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh my God.</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> Why did you do that?</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, remember that little problem I was having during my
fourth month of
pregnancy?</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh yeah, the Evander Holyfield phase. Oh man you were so hard up you
practically came on to me.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You wish.</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey, I could<6C>ve had you if I wanted you.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh yeah? Come and get it.</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, even this is turning me on!</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering) Hey!</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh hey! Hey Ross! Hey how<6F>s it, how<6F>s it going with you and
Mona? Are you guys still together?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh yeah, yeah we<77>re moving forward. You<6F>ll be getting our card!</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> You and Mona are doing a holiday card together?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, we<77>re not just doing a card! Y<>know, she-she also wants to
have the conversation about where the relationship is going.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ugh! Women!</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> I know! I know! Why do you guys need to have this conversation?! Huh? I
mean no self-respecting man would ask a woman, "So, where is this going?"</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Uh Ross? You asked me that.</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? I<>m not a mind reader! Besides, I
hate those conversations. I<>m horrible at them. Really! Maybe-maybe I need kind of a
gesture. Y<>know, something that says we<77>re moving forward without having to talk
about it.</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> Like asking her to move in with you?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Smaller than that.</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> Making her a mixed tape?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh, bigger than that.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Give her a key to your apartment.</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Whoa-hello! We were closer with the mixed tape.</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> All right. Have you said, "I love you?" You could say, I love
you.</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah I-I don<6F>t-I don<6F>t think I<>m quite there yet, but I
could say I looove spending time with you.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, we hate that.</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> That is a slap in the face.</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Forget it. I-I<>Y<EFBFBD>know what? I<>ll just have the
conversation. I<>ll just say I like things the way they are, and hope for the best.
What do you think Rach?</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I think, if it was a little colder in here I could see your nipples
through that sweater.</p>
<p>[Scene: Chandler<65>s Office, Doug is entering.]</p>
<p><b>Doug:</b> Bing! We<57>re all set for tonight, 8 o<>clock.</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh uh, as it turns out, we can<61>t do it. Monica has to work.</p>
<p><b>Doug:</b> Oh, my ex-wife didn<64>t work, unless you call turning into her mother
work. Fine. Tomorrow night then.</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh uh well tomorrow<6F>s no good for her either.</p>
<p><b>Doug:</b> Oh? Why not?</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> It<49>s the semi-finals<6C>of her<65>botchy ball tournament.</p>
<p><b>Doug:</b> What<61>s going on Bing? Does uh, your wife have a problem with me or
something?</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well now-now you<6F>re just talking crazy.</p>
<p><b>Doug:</b> So why can<61>t the three of us go out together?</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Because uh<75>we-we<77>we split up. Monica and I split up. Hold
me.</p>
<p><b>Doug:</b> Good God Bing I<>well I can<61>t say I<>m altogether surprised,
I saw the way she looked at you, and there was no love there. And the way she looked at
me, pure lust.</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Y<>know what would really help me through this tough time is
choking something. Can I choke ya?</p>
<p><b>Doug:</b> Bing my boy, we<77>re gonna get you over this. Now here<72>s the plan,
grab your coat, we<77>re going to a strip club.</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh no-no-no, Monica would freak. (Doug looks at him.) But to hell with
that bitch.</p>
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is getting Mona some coffee.]</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Here we go. Mona umm, I think it<69>s time we-we had a conversation
about-about where things are with us.</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> Yeah, I-I think I suggested that.</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Aw, we-we are so<73>(Motions that they<65>re connected.) So umm, well
I-I-I like you and I-I love umm, y<>know hanging out with you. And I mean-I<>m
having a lot of fun. (He pauses and thinks there might be more, but decides there
isn<EFBFBD>t.)</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> Okay.</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> I mean, there<72>s no point in spending time with someone if-if
it<EFBFBD>s just fun. It<49>s gotta be, it<69>s gotta be going somewhere right? So
where-where is it going? (Pause) Ah! That<61>s-that<61>s the real question. And-and
the answer is<69>is it<69>s going somewhere<72>fun. Now I-I know what you<6F>re
thinking, fun was fine for you like ten years ago y<>know, but you<6F>re-you<6F>re
not getting any younger. No I mean<61>No not you, not you, you<6F>you <b>are</b>
getting younger. I mean<61>you-you look like you<6F>re getting younger by the
second<EFBFBD>What<EFBFBD>s your secret?</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> I<>m sorry, so umm, so where are we?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, well to sum up, we<77>re having fun, you look young.</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> Okay<61></p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> But that<61>s not enough. So<53> So<53>here<72>s a key to my
apartment. (Hands her his key.)</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> Really?!</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Really.</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> You don<6F>t think this is too fast. </p>
<p>(Ross groans no.)</p>
<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is telling Rachel and Monica about yet another mistake
he<EFBFBD>s made with a woman.]</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You gave her a key to your apartment?!</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Not just a key, I gave her the only key! I am now a homeless person in a
very serious relationship.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (entering with some guy) Hey. Ooh Ross! How<6F>d the conversation go?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh great, I live on the street.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Where?! (Ross exits.)</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey!</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hi! Okay, Monica, Rachel, this is my friend Roger.</p>
<p><strong>Roger:</strong> Hey everybody.</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hi Roger.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> So umm, I<>m gonna get us some drinks. (To Rachel) Would you help me
out?</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah. (They go into the kitchen.)</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Umm, he<68>s here to have sex with you.</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You<6F>re welcome.</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Phoebe no!</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> It<49>s okay, he<68>s a virgin.</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> Rachel umm, I was just talking to this guy and I think he<68>ll have
sex with you.</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, okay let<65>s leave these two alone.</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No! I do not care what my hormones are doing, I am not going to just do
it with some random guy!</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Fine! Then you tell Roger because he was really looking forward to this!
(Phoebe exits.)</p>
<p>[Scene: A Strip Club, Doug and Chandler are there.]</p>
<p><b>Doug:</b> Oh Bing, look at those twin sisters dancing together. Let me buy you a lap
dance with those girls. Huh?</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh that<61>s all right sir, and that<61>s just one girl.</p>
<p><b>Doug:</b> Bing<6E>What<61>s this?! (Grabs his hand.)</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> It<49>s a hand. It<49>s a thing you use as a <i>Jack</i> and <i>Coke</i>
holder.</p>
<p><b>Doug:</b> No, it<69>s a wedding ring. You gotta get rid of it. We<57>re gonna go
to the East River right now and throw it in there!</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh no-no-no!</p>
<p><b>Doug:</b> Oh yeah-yeah-yeah, y<>know I did it and I felt a hell of a lot better
and if you whip it just right you might hit a seagull in the head.</p>
<p>[Scene: Ross's Apartment, a locksmith has finished changing the locks on Ross<73>s
door.]</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, and oh I<>m gonna need a bunch of extra keys. Apparently I give
them away for no reason at all.</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> (entering) Hey Ross, what<61>s going on? You changing the lock?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> No. That guy is.</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> I don<6F>t understand. You-you give me a key to your apartment and then
you change the lock.</p>
<p><strong>Locksmith:</strong> Good luck buddy. (Exits.)</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> Umm, I-I thought we were moving forward and now you<6F>re-you<6F>re
sending me all these mixed signals. What are you trying to tell me?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> I<>m trying to tell you I made you a mix tape.</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> What?</p>
<p><b>Ross:</b> I love you!</p>
<p><b>Mona:</b> Ohh! (Hugs him.) And I love spending time with you. (Ross isn<73>t
happy.)</p>
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is eating dinner as Chandler enters.]</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hi honey I<>m home.</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> From the tequila factory?</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> It was awful. To get out of going to dinner with Doug I told him that
you and I split up. So then he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars, and then
when I wouldn<64>t give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird!</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> Come here. I can breath through my mouth.</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Y<>know what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would
be like without you. It was like <i>It<EFBFBD>s a Wonderful Life</i> with lap dances. Please
promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each
other for the rest of our lives.</p>
<p><b>Monica:</b> I promise. Hey, speaking of together, how about we send out a holiday
card this year?</p>
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Ooh, I don<6F>t know if we<77>re there yet.</p>
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is on the phone.]</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes. Hi, I<>d like to order a pizza. Okay, can I ask you a question?
Is-is the cute blond guy delivering tonight? Very <i>Ambercrombie &amp; Fitch</i>. (Joey
enters.) I<>ll call you back.</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Who was that?</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> It<49>s just the pizza place.</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> You hung up on the pizza place? I don<6F>t hang up on your friends.</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I<>m sorry honey, I<>m just having a, having a rough day.</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, what<61>s wrong?</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh you really, you really just don<6F>t want to hear about it.</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Then why did I ask?</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, it<69>s just<73>and this is really embarrassing<6E>but
lately with this whole pregnancy thing I<>m just finding myself<6C>how do I put this
umm, erotically charged.</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Is that college talk for horny?</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah. So y<>know, I have all of these feelings and I don<6F>t know
what to do about them, because I can<61>t date like a normal person, which is fine
because I don<6F>t need a relationship, I mean all I really want is one great night.
Just sex, y<>know? No strings attached, no relationship, just with someone that I feel
comfortable with and who knows what he<68>s doing. For just one great night, I mean is
that really so<73>hard<72>to find. (Looks at Joey.) So how was your day?</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Good, I uh, I saw a pretty big pigeon.</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, I gotta get up early and it<69>s almost seven o<>clock.</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, I gotta, I gotta go to my room too.</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, good night!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Good night. (They both enter their rooms.)</p>
<p>(Pause.)</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> (entering) I can<61>t do it!</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (entering) I didn<64>t ask you to do it!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> You<6F>re Rachel!</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You<6F>re Joey!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> You<6F>re my friend!</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Right back at ya!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> But plus, it would be wrong and weird and-and-and bad.</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> And so bad. I don<6F>t even know what you<6F>re talking about
because I didn<64>t ask you to do anything!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> I know!</p>
<p>(Pause.)</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Do you wanna do it?</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right, me neither! I was just testing you!</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> That<61>s the end of this conversation!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> This conversation never happened!</p>
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Never happened! Good night!</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Good night!</p>
<p>(They both go into their rooms and after a little while Rachel pokes her head into the
living room.)</p>
<p><b>Joey:</b> Get back in there! (Rachel re-enters her room and closes the door.)</p>
<p align="center"><strong>Closing Credits</strong></p>
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is there as Phoebe enters.]</p>
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hi. Listen, I<>m sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really
wasn<EFBFBD>t right, and I, and I want to make it up to you, so umm, I brought you something
that I think you<6F>ll really enjoy. (Goes into the hallway and returns carrying the
Evander Holyfield cutout.) Now, this is just a loan. Okay? I<>m gonna, I<>m gonna
want him back. So<53> (Looks at him longingly) I<>m gonna go now. (Exits.) (Pause)
(Entering) I<>m sorry, I thought I could do it and I can<61>t! (She grabs the cutout
and exits for good.)</p>
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
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