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<!-- saved from url=(0055)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season8/804towvt.htm -->
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<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
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<title>The One With The Videotape</title>
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<meta name="GENERATOR" content="Microsoft FrontPage 3.0">
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<meta name="Template" content="C:\Program Files\Microsoft Office\Templates\Friends.dot">
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<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
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<body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" link="#008000" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
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<h1 align="center">The One With The Videotape</h1>
|
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|
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<hr>
|
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|
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<p>Written by: Scott Silveri<br>
|
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Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
|
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|
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<hr>
|
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|
||||
<p>[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Monica are returning from their honeymoon.]</p>
|
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|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Wait. Before we go in, I just want you to know I love you. I had a
|
||||
great time on our honeymoon, and I can<61>t wait to go in there and spend the rest of
|
||||
our life together.</p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Monica:</b> You<6F>re really sticking with the shell necklace huh? (Points to
|
||||
necklace of shells he<68>s wearing.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Joey and Phoebe burst forth from his apartment.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hi!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey! You<6F>re back! (Hugs and kisses all around.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hi sweetie!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Come on in! </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(They grab the luggage and drag it into Joey and Rachel<65>s forcing Monica and
|
||||
Chandler to follow.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> So how was the honeymoon?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, so much fun. But the best part is, we met this incredible couple on
|
||||
the way back.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> That was the best part? (To Chandler) Good honeymooning tiger.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> No, they were really cool. They were on their honeymoon too!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> They<65>re terrific, and they live right here in the city.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah, can we go call them? Is it too soon to call? I wanna call.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I<>m sorry, we<77>re just kinda excited because we finally have
|
||||
a couple to hang out with.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I know.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> A couple? Like two people? Like (points to himself) one (points to
|
||||
Phoebe), two people?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> This is different! Greg and Jenny are in a relationship.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, Greg and Jenny yuck! (Angrily) Hi Greg, I<>m Chandler this is
|
||||
Monica. Hi Monica, this is Jenny. Hi Jenny. Hi Greg.</p>
|
||||
|
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Listen, they are really great. If you just got a chance<63></p>
|
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|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Y<>know what? Why don<6F>t you just give us our souvenirs and get
|
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the hell out of here?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> We really<6C>didn<64>t get a chance to<74></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You have <b>got</b> to be kidding me!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> We didn<64>t get anything for anyone.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hm-mm! Yeah nice necklace!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> That you can have.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>{Transcriber<65>s Note: Tradition was broken here as there were no commercials
|
||||
immediately after the opening credits, just more show.}</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Rachel are entering with the rest of the gang
|
||||
already inside.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><strong>All:</strong> Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hello!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Welcome home.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> So, how was the honeymoon?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> It was great! It was great! How about you?! I mean you<6F>re having a
|
||||
baby!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh! Look! I have a sonogram picture! </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh great! (Shows them the picture.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Ross! It<49>s got your wavy black lines!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> All right, so now that Ross knows can you tell us y<>know how it
|
||||
happened? I mean, when did it happen? How many times did it happen?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Monica! That<61>s not right! Start with where.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Rachel looks at Ross and gets his approval.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well it happened about six weeks ago, and uh I had just got home from
|
||||
work and Ross was already there <20>cause I guess he had been hanging out with Joey.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> You<6F>re welcome buddy.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (glaring at him) Yeah, thanks. (Joey nods no problem.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> And so I had a lot of work to do so Ross, nice guy that he is, offered
|
||||
to help me out. And then we had a little wine, we got to talking, and the next thing you
|
||||
know out of nowhere Ross comes on to me.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (laughs) Umm that<61>s<EFBFBD>that<61>s a little misleading.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What is?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> The lie you just told.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> That-that you came on to me?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> There<72>s the one!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> But you did! I mean, let<65>s be honest.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yes let<65>s. Y<>know what? Uh, it<69>s-it<69>s not important.
|
||||
What is important is that, is that we<77>re having a baby. And it<69>s
|
||||
not<EFBFBD>Doesn<EFBFBD>t matter who came on to who.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Whom. (Everyone looks at him shocked.) That<61>s right.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You know you kissed me first.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What? What?! You were begging me to kiss you! You-you-you were sending me
|
||||
signals all over the place!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> <b>I</b> was sending you signals?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh please. Okay, anyone in this room think that I would send Ross
|
||||
begging symbols, please show of hands. (Ross raises his hand and no one else.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Y<>know what?! It doesn<73>t matter! It doesn<73>t matter what you
|
||||
believe! What matters is what happened!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay. So these signals Ross, explain this to me, <20>cause maybe I
|
||||
need to be more careful. I mean, am I sending you these signals right now?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Y<>know what? Y<>know what? Rachel, just-just drop it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No please, show me how I begged you!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I can show you, I have it on videotape! (Stunned silence) It<49>s an
|
||||
expression.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time has lapsed, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are
|
||||
sitting at the kitchen table.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I can<61>t <b>believe</b> he taped the two of them having sex!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah! You gotta tell a girl before you tape her. Such a rookie mistake.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Y<>know who has a great video camera?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (nasally) Greg and Jenny?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Do you still wanna call <20>em? I wanna call <20>em.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Let<65>s call <20>em.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah! Ask them if they brought their friends any souvenirs!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Monica goes over and dials their number.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Eighth street deli?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, hang up! You get food poisoning just talkin<69> to that place.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (on phone) Uh sorry, wrong number. (Hangs up)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Here you go. (Shows her the number again.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (on phone) Hello? (Listens) (To All) It<49>s the deli again!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right! I<>ll have a sandwich!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (hangs up) I don<6F>t think this number<65>s right!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Joey and Phoebe laugh.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You got fake numbered.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What?! People don<6F>t do that!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh I think we do.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> They gave us a fake number? Why? Why would they do that?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I don<6F>t know! You were a delight to talk to. You asked all those
|
||||
insightful, great questions.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> And you<6F>ve never been funnier. Joke, joke, joke, you were a hoot!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Y<>know what? Don<6F>t worry about it, you still got me and Phoebe.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Excuse me, I don<6F>t want Greg and Jenny<6E>s rejects.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering) Rachel won<6F>t talk to me! She won<6F>t even open the
|
||||
door!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hmm, I wonder why. Pervert!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, listen I am not a pervert!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> That<61>s like the pervert motto! Yeah! Yeah! They have you raise your
|
||||
right hand, put your left hand down your pants, and repeat that!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Filming Rachel is not something I planned. Okay look, here<72>s what
|
||||
happened, and Joey you-you can back me up on this. All right, about-about a month and a
|
||||
half ago I came to you with a problem? Umm, a personal thing. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Personal thing? What personal thing? I don<6F>t know.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> About<75>about sex? (Joey looks at him confused) That I hadn<64>t had
|
||||
sex in months?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (laughs) Yeah I knew what you were talkin<69> about.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>Six Weeks Earlier</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading a cereal box as Ross enters wearing the red
|
||||
sweater.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Do you have a minute? I<>d like to talk to you about something
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>m, I<>m really uncomfortable talking about.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Sure. What? About uh, you showering with your mom?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I actually had a topic in mind! I<>m, I<>m kinda going through a
|
||||
dry spell, sex wise.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Whoa, for like months?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Five to be lying, six.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Six months? Whoa that<61>s rough.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, I mean it<69>s not all bad. I<>m learning to appreciate the
|
||||
uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> The sky<6B>s blue Ross and I had sex yesterday!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Please, help me! I have a date tonight. It has to go well
|
||||
okay<EFBFBD>I<EFBFBD>m scared for my health!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay. Okay. Umm<6D>Ooh! Oh-oh, I got something. It<49>s this story I
|
||||
came up with, very romantic. I swear any woman that hears it; they<65>re like putty.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Really? Well then tell it to me.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay. Now you<6F>re gonna want to have sex with me when you hear it, but
|
||||
you have to remember it is <b>just</b> the story.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (sarcastic) I<>ll try to control myself.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay. (Clears throat) Years ago, when I was backpacking across Western
|
||||
Europe<EFBFBD></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (laughs) You were backpacking across Western Europe?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Have a nice six more months Ross! (Starts to leave.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (stopping him) Okay! Okay! Okay. I<>m sorry. Please, please, you were
|
||||
in Western Europe and?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I was just outside Barcelona hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. I
|
||||
was at the end of this path and I came to a clearing and there was a lake, very secluded.
|
||||
And there were tall trees all around. (Whispering) It was dead silent. Gorgeous. (Softly)
|
||||
And across the lake I saw<61>a beautiful woman<61>bathing herself<6C>but she was
|
||||
crying<EFBFBD></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (intently listening) Why?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Ross's Apartment, Ross is on his date with Kristen and they<65>re drinking
|
||||
wine.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kristen:</b> Umm, this is great wine.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> It<49>s from France<63>In Europe<70>Western Europe. Y<>know umm,
|
||||
a few years ago I actually was backpacking across Western Europe.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kristen:</b> Really?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh-hmm<6D>Wait! It gets better. Um, yeah I was in Barcelona.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kristen:</b> I studied for a year in Barcelona. (Ross is stunned and worried.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Anyway, umm so I was um, I was hiking<6E></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kristen:</b> I love hiking!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (whines) Oh that<61>s great! I was hiking along the foothills of Mount
|
||||
Tibidaybo<EFBFBD></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kristen:</b> I think its Tibidabo.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay! Do you wanna tell the story?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Ross enters.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Whoa! What are you doing here? How did your date go?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Great! I<>m across the street having sex with her right now. Your
|
||||
story sucks!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey! Look, if it didn<64>t work it<69>s because you didn<64>t tell
|
||||
it right! Show me how you did it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No! No, I don<6F>t<EFBFBD>don<6F>t want to.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> How long since you<6F>ve seen a girl naked?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I was backpacking across Western Europe.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I<>m not feeling it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I was just outside Barcelona, hiking<6E></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No! No! No Ross! I<>m not hot! Are you hot?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> It<49>s been six months! I<>m always hot!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well you<6F>re not selling the story! It<49>s like; it<69>s like you
|
||||
don<EFBFBD>t believe it! Look, I gotta go. I got a date, but try this. Do what I do when
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>m preparing for an audition. Okay? I<>ll set you up with my video camera and
|
||||
you can record yourself and-and see what you<6F>re doing wrong.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I<>ll try that.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right now<6F> All right, you<6F>re all set up. You<6F>re good to
|
||||
go. Just hit record. All right?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Thanks.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Good luck.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Thanks. And-and hey Joe?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Listen, if you ever have any problem with the ladies you know I<>ll
|
||||
help you out.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (trying not to laugh) That means a lot to me man. (Exits.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Ross pours himself a glass of wine, hits record, and sits down in front of the
|
||||
camera.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hello! Can I get you anything? Huh? Lens cleaner? Your battery okay?
|
||||
(Rachel bursts in carrying two boxes and Ross jumps up.) Rachel!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh Ross!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hi!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Thank God you<6F>re here! You have to help me! Were you just talking
|
||||
to yourself?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> That<61>s less embarrassing, yes. Yes I was.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(They sit down on the couch, which is in front of the still recording camera.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (voiceover) So when she came in, I got distracted and totally forgot about
|
||||
the camera. [Cut back to the present day.] It kept rolling and recorded everything.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Pause)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, we<77>re gonna need to see that tape. (They rest of them
|
||||
agree.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah, definitely.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What a great idea! That will get Rachel to forgive me!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Y<>know what? This is not fair to her. Let<65>s just forget the
|
||||
tape!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Thank you. (Joey mouths to Ross, "You<6F>ll show me right?")
|
||||
No!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> You<6F>re right. (Mouths, "I know you<6F>ll show me, right?)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Joey! No!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Loud and clear! (Mouths, "You<6F>ll show me," and nods.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Ross storms out.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are now sitting in
|
||||
the living room.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I still don't get why Greg and Jenny would give us a fake number.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Y<>know, if they knew what they were doing they probably didn<64>t
|
||||
give you real names either.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, maybe people give out fake numbers, but they don<6F>t give out
|
||||
fake names.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh yeah? (To Phoebe) Hi, Ken Adams, nice to meet you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Regina Philange. (Ken and Regina shake hands.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I still don<6F>t get it, we didn<64>t do anything wrong.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I know! Although, you did tell an awful lot of jokes.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I thought you said those jokes were funny. Joke! Joke! Joke!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (rolling her head from side to side) Joke. Joke. Blah! Blah! (Joey and
|
||||
Phoebe laugh.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well maybe it was all of your questions.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What about my questions?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> The sheer volume, it was like flying with the Riddler!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, I<>m sorry. Was that another joke?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (angrily) Was that another question?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (entering) Hey! Is Ross still here?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Uh no Rach, he<68>s gone. But listen, he told us what happened and it
|
||||
does, it sounds like an honest mistake.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped
|
||||
it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of
|
||||
my child, the porn king of the west village.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Look, it was accident! Okay? I-I feel bad that it happened, but I swear, I
|
||||
didn<EFBFBD>t even watch it! Anyway, here. (He takes the tape out of his coat pocket.) I
|
||||
thought you might be more comfortable destroying it yourself. (Tosses her the tape.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Thank you. (She sets it on the floor and is about to stomp on it with
|
||||
her shoe when the rest of the gang jumps up and yells simultaneously.) What? (They all
|
||||
yell again.) You don<6F>t want to see this do you?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hell yeah!!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I am <b>not</b> gonna show you this!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No! Not the sex part, just the stuff leading up to it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Forget it, she<68>s destroying it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay fine! Fine! We<57>ll just have to think of some other way to put
|
||||
the whole <20>Who came onto who,<2C> thing to rest! Come on now, think!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Look, forget it Phoebe. Okay? It<49>s Rachel<65>s tape and she can do
|
||||
whatever she wants with it. And she wants to destroy it. So, end of story.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I wanna see it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Clearly you don<6F>t want people to see this tape. Now I don<6F>t
|
||||
want people to see this tape either, but you so badly don<6F>t people to see it makes me
|
||||
want to see it. You see?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (confused) Are we watchin<69> the tape or not?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I don<6F>t want people to see it for your sake.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ahh, I don<6F>t believe you. I think you don<6F>t want them to see
|
||||
you begging me. (Goes to put the tape in the VCR)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Rachel, please<73></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ah, a little preview!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Fine. Fine, but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high
|
||||
road, because in about five minutes I<>m gonna be saying<6E>(He laughs and points at
|
||||
Rachel sarcastically.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(They both sit down.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, here we go. (Pushes play.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (on tape) Hello! Can I get you anything?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (To Phoebe) I<>m so happy!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the scene is continued from earlier.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (on tape) Oh, thank God you<6F>re here! You have to help me! Were you
|
||||
just talking to yourself?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> There I am.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You<6F>re gonna get pregnant.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (on tape) I screwed up so bad, I told Monica that I would stuff and send
|
||||
all these wedding invitations like weeks ago and I-I<></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (on tape) You didn<64>t do it?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (on tape) I-I know<6F>I had put them in<69>in-in my desk at work and
|
||||
I completely forgot about them until today.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Chandler is shocked and Rachel gets scared of Monica very quickly.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (taking Rachel<65>s hand) Sweetie okay. It<49>s okay. Everybody made
|
||||
it to the wedding. I<>m fine.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Kinda hurtin<69> my hand though.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I know.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (on tape) (Ross hands her a glass of wine) I cannot believe that I did
|
||||
this. Especially after Monica just went on and on and on about it! (Mimicking Monica)
|
||||
"Okay Rachel! Here are the invitations Rachel! Now be very careful Rachel! Please,
|
||||
drinking no liquids around the invitations Rachel!" (She tilts her wine glass above
|
||||
and moves it back and forth across the invitations) Whoa oh! Oh-oh-oh!
|
||||
Oh<EFBFBD>oh-oh-oh<6F></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Rachel hits fast forward. Monica is completely shocked.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Did you do <b>it</b> on our invitations?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (pause) Not on the ones we sent out.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> So, just the ones gave back to us and we had framed! (Slams the framed
|
||||
invitation down onto the table.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Rachel stops fast forwarding.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (on tape) Can you believe this is already happening? I mean it seems
|
||||
like yesterday they just got engaged.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (on tape) I know. Hey remember<65>remember the night they got engaged?
|
||||
How uh, you and I almost<73></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (on tape) Oh, I remember how we almost. Do you think we would<6C>ve
|
||||
gone through with it? Y<>know, if we hadn<64>t gotten caught. Do you think we
|
||||
would<EFBFBD>ve done it?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (on tape) I mean I<>I know I wanted to. I just, I just wasn<73>t
|
||||
sure if you wanted to.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (on tape) Oh I wanted to.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Ross and Rachel trade looks while watching the tape.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (on tape) So we<77>we both wanted to.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (on tape) Interesting.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (on tape) Yeah. (Pause) Anyway umm, it probably worked out for the best.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (on tape) Oh yeah, sure.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, in about ten seconds you<6F>re gonna see him kiss me.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> And in about five seconds you<6F>re gonna see why.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (on tape) Ross did I ever tell you about the time that I went
|
||||
backpacking through Western Europe?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Joey<65>s shocked and everyone else looks at Rachel.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, get ready to see some beggin<69>!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, you came on to Ross!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Now I<>m so happy.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What are you talking about?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> You used the Europe story!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> That<61>s the magic story you use when you wanna have sex!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> How do you know about that story?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> How do <b>you</b> know about that story?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I heard it from my friend Irene who heard it from some guy!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (raises his hand) Some guy!! (Points to himself.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No. No, she told me his name was Ken Adams.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (raises his hand and points to himself again) Ken Adams!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is looking at the tape sitting on the counter as Ross
|
||||
enters.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hi.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> So uh, apparently people are familiar with the Europe story?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah. Listen about that, the whole uh, who came on to who thing really
|
||||
doesn<EFBFBD>t matter. I mean, I think it would<6C>ve happened either way. I mean if you
|
||||
hadn<EFBFBD>t initiated it I-I-I know I would<6C>ve.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> It was an amazing night.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> It was. It was an amazing night.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Pause)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You think it looked amazing?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I uh<75> I don<6F>t know. I mean I<>I honestly didn<64>t watch
|
||||
it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, me neither. Yet<65></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Uhhhhhh<68>that-that may be weird.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, it would be really weird.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Ross grabs the tape and heads for the VCR as Rachel goes over and puts the chain on
|
||||
the door and locks it.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Good luck.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Good luck to you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Ross pushes play.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Mind if I mute?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh please. (He does so.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, oh there go the clothes.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You are undressing very quickly.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Six months Rachel, six months.</p>
|
||||
<b>
|
||||
|
||||
</b><p><b>Ross and <b>Rachel:</b></b> Ah. (Pause) Oh.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey. We-we look<6F>we look pretty good.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> That<61>s what I was gonna say.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh nice tan!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Thank you! I had just gone to the beach that weekend.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Ah<41>.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Have you been working out?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I have been working out.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Really? Wow, this is so much better than I<></p>
|
||||
<b>
|
||||
|
||||
</b><p><b>Ross and <b>Rachel:</b></b> Ohh! Ew!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh that<61>s not pretty.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh! Oh!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh God!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh no!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, make it stop!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh no!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Make it stop!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Have to make it stop!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No!!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(They both get out of the chair and run for the VCR.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>Closing Credits</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler have gone through the phone book and
|
||||
found Greg and Jenny<6E>s number which Monica has just dialed.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (on phone) Hello Greg? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica from the plane?
|
||||
Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5<> (Listens) (To Chandler) That is their old
|
||||
number! Jenny<6E>s been giving it out since they moved!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Jenny! That is so Jenny!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (on phone) Hey listen umm, how would you like to get together? Say next
|
||||
Saturday? (Listens) Okay, how about Sunday? (Listens) Okay umm, the week after that?
|
||||
(Listens) The week after that? (Listens) Y<>know what Greg? Y<>know what? We are
|
||||
good, interesting, funny people with <b>good</b> questions and if you and your precious
|
||||
Jenny can<61>t see that then<65> (Listens) January 15<sup>th</sup>? (Chandler dances.)
|
||||
We<EFBFBD>ll see you then! (Listens) Okay! </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(She hangs up the phone and they hug.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
</body></html>
|
Reference in New Issue
Block a user