mirror of
https://github.com/bvanroll/startrek-ml.git
synced 2025-08-29 03:52:47 +00:00
760 lines
26 KiB
HTML
760 lines
26 KiB
HTML
|
||
<!-- saved from url=(0054)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season5/501arsr.htm -->
|
||
<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
|
||
<title>The One After Ross Says Rachel</title>
|
||
|
||
<meta name="GENERATOR" content="Microsoft FrontPage 3.0">
|
||
<meta name="Template" content="C:\Program Files\Microsoft Office\Templates\friends.dot">
|
||
<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
|
||
|
||
<body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" link="#008000" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
|
||
|
||
<h1 align="center">The One After Ross Says Rachel</h1>
|
||
|
||
<hr>
|
||
|
||
<p>Written by: Seth Kurland<br>
|
||
Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
|
||
|
||
<hr>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Ross’s Wedding, continued from last season, the Minister is about to marry
|
||
Ross and Emily.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Minister:</b> Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous
|
||
union of Ross and Emily. (Time lapse) Now Ross, repeat after me. I Ross...</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I Ross...</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Minister:</b> Take thee, Emily...</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Take thee, Rachel...(All his friends have looks of shock on their faces.
|
||
He realizes what he said. Quickly he says.) Emily. (A slight chuckle.) Emily.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Minister:</b> (Looking and feeling awkward. he looks towards Emily.) Uhh...Shall I
|
||
go on?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (To the woman sitting in front of her) He-he said Rachel, right? Do you
|
||
think I should go up there?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Emily:</b> Yes, yes, do go on.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Minister:</b> I think we’d better start again. Ross, repeat after me. I,
|
||
Ross…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I, Ross…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Minister:</b> Take thee, <b>EM-I-LY</b>…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Take thee, (Glares at the Minister) <b>Emily</b>. (Chuckles) Like
|
||
there’d be anybody else. (Emily is glaring at him.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Minister:</b> As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, till death
|
||
parts us.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, until death parts
|
||
us. Really, I do. Emily. (Points at her.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Minister:</b> May I have the rings? (He is given the rings) Emily, place this ring
|
||
on Ross’s finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting. (She jams the ring onto his
|
||
finger) Ross, place this ring in Emily’s hand as a symbol of the love that encircles
|
||
you forever.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Happy too.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Minister:</b> Ross and Emily have made their declarations and it gives me great
|
||
pleasure to declare them husband and wife.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yay!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Minister:</b> You may kiss the bride.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(He goes to kiss her, but she isn’t very receptive of the kiss. She keeps avoiding
|
||
him, until Ross finally gets to kiss her on her cheek.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> (To Mr. Geller) This is worse than when he married the lesbian.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(The band starts to play, and the recessional starts. Ross tries to take Emily’s
|
||
hand, but she snatches it away from him.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Emily:</b> Just keep smiling.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, that went well. Yeah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> It could’ve been worse, he could’ve shot her.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Ross and Emily make it to the lobby.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (laughs) That uh, that was pretty funny. Wasn’t it?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Emily gives him a forearm shot across the stomach.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: The Wedding reception, Ross and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is yelling
|
||
at him. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are standing outside the doorway.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Emily:</b> (Yelling from inside the bathroom) You’ve spoiled everything!
|
||
It’s like a nightmare! My friends and family are out there! How can I face them?! How
|
||
can you do this to me?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (To the gang) Hey, no matter what happens with Ross and Emily, we still
|
||
get cake right?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (exiting the bathroom) That-that-that’s all right, no honey, you take
|
||
your time sweetie. I’ll be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the
|
||
gang) She’s just fixing her makeup.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Emily:</b> I hate you!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> And, I love you!! (He walks into the living room)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Boy, bad time to say the wrong name, huh Ross?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> That’s true, thanks dad. (To All) People should be dancing! Huh? Hey,
|
||
this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! (He starts to dance but stops when no one else
|
||
joins him.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Mrs. Waltham’s phone rings and she answers it.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mrs. Waltham:</b> Yes, Waltham interiors.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (On the phone, in New York) Uh, hello, this is Ross Geller’s
|
||
personal physician, Dr. Philange.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mrs. Waltham:</b> Who?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, I’ve discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine,
|
||
uh, now without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh women’s names are interchangeable,
|
||
through-through no fault of his own.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mrs. Waltham:</b> Oh my God, Phoebe.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, not Phoebe, Dr. Philange. Oh no! You have it too!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Mrs. Waltham hangs up on her.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hello?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Cut to Chandler and Monica at the buffet table.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh wow, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way but, I know we
|
||
had plans to meet up tonight and, ugh, I’m just kinda worried about what it might do
|
||
to our friendship.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I know. How could we have let this happen?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Seven times!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Ugh! Well, y’know, we were away…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> In a <b>foreign</b>, romantic country…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I blame London.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Bad London! (Takes a spoon and smacks the turkey.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> So look umm, while we’re st-still in London, I mean, we can keep
|
||
doing it right?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, I don’t see that we have a choice. But, when we’re
|
||
back home, we don’t do it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Only here.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Y’know, I saw a wine cellar downstairs…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I’ll meet you there in two minutes.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay! </p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(He throws down his plate and runs to the wine cellar, Monica is about to follow him
|
||
but is intercepted by Rachel.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Mon, honey, I gotta ask you something.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (impatiently) Now?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ross said my name up there, I mean, come on, I just can’t pretend
|
||
that didn’t happen can I?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, I-I don’t know.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Monica, what should I do?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Just uh, do the right thing. (Uses some breath spray)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Toe the line. Thread the needle. Think outside the box! (Tries to leave,
|
||
but is stopped by Rachel.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Whoa, wait, listen, I think I’m just gonna talk to Ross about what
|
||
he think it meant.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Wait. Rachel, no, he’s married. Married! If you don’t realize
|
||
that, I can’t help you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, you’re right. You’re right. You can’t help me.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> Jack, is it all our fault? Were we bad parents?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Waltham:</b> (walking by) Yes.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Oh yeah, well who serves steak when there’s no place to sit, I
|
||
mean how are you supposed to eat this?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, what’s up? (He has solved the problem of eating the steak,
|
||
he’s eating it with his hands.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Cut to Monica and Chandler, Monica is running up to him.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Where were you? We were supposed to meet in the wine cellar?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Forget it, that’s off.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Why?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Waltham:</b> (drunkenly) The next tour of the wine cellar will plan in two in-in
|
||
minutes…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Joey walks up to them.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldn’t eat meat
|
||
until she has the babies!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, I figured we’re in another country, so it doesn’t count.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> That’s true.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> The man’s got a point.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Cut to Rachel and Ross.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, hi!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hi!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi. Sorry, things aren’t working out so well.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh no! It could be better, but it’s gonna be okay, right?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh yeah! Of course, I mean, she’s gonna get over this, y’know?
|
||
I mean, so you said my name! Y’know you just said it ‘cause you saw me there, if
|
||
you’d have seen a circus freak, you would’ve said, "I take thee circus
|
||
freak." Y’know, it didn’t mean anything, it’s just a mistake. It
|
||
didn’t mean anything. Right?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No! No! Of course it didn’t mean anything! I mean, uh well, I can
|
||
understand why Emily would think it meant something, y’know, because-because it was
|
||
you…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Right…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> But it absolutely didn’t. (Yelling towards the bathroom) It
|
||
didn’t!! It didn’t!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (approaching) Ross, hey, the band’s ready outside for your first
|
||
dance with Emily, so…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (sarcastic) Oh! Oh-oh, the band’s ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what
|
||
the band says—I don’t care about the stupid band!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> You spit on me man! (Wipes his face.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Look, I’m sorry.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Emily is kinda taking a long time, huh?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (laughs) Y’know when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding,
|
||
it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, right!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Get the hell out of there, y’know?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(They all start laughing, and quickly stop when they realize what she just said and run
|
||
over to the bathroom.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (Bangs on the bathroom door) Emily? Emily? I’m coming in. (He opens
|
||
the door to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, look at that, same thing.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: <i>London Marriott</i>, Monica and Chandler are walking to her room.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Listen, in the middle of everything if I scream the word,
|
||
"Yippee!" just ignore me.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(She laughs and opens the door to reveal Rachel sitting on the bed.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh my God, Rachel! Hi!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, hello Rachel.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ross said my name. Okay? <b>My</b> name. Ross said my name up there that
|
||
obviously means that he still loves me! (They both just stare at her.) Okay, don’t
|
||
believe me, I know I’m right—do you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes, we do. But, we have to change first.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yes, I want to change. And why-why don’t you go down and get us a
|
||
table?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, we’ll be down in like five minutes.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (elbows him) Fifteen minutes.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(The phone rings and Rachel answers it.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hello? Oh, Pheebs! (To them) It’s Phoebe!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, yay…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Great…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hi, so what happened?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, Ross said my name.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, I know, but I don’t think that means anything.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, Pheebs, y’know what, let’s look at this objectively all
|
||
right? Ninth grade, right? The obsession starts. All right? The summer after ninth grade
|
||
he sees me in a two-piece for the first time, his obsession begins to grow. So then…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (To Monica) Hey, listen, why don’t we go change in my room?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> But my clothes are—ohh! (They both leave.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Cut to Chandler’s room, he opens the door slowly to see if Joey is there and
|
||
after seeing that he isn’t, ushers Monica into the room, closes the door, and the
|
||
security bar.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Wow, you look…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> No time for that!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(They both start to frantically rip each other’s clothes off, but are interrupted
|
||
when Joey tries to open the door.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, dude, let me in. I got a girl out here!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, I’ve got a girl in here.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No you don’t, I just saw you go in there with Monica!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, we’re-we’re hanging out in here!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Look, which one of us is gonna be having sex in there, me or you?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, I suppose I’d have to say you!! But, what if we’re
|
||
watching a movie in here?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Which we are, and-and we already paid for it. It’s <i>My Giant</i>!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> <i>My Giant</i>? I <b>love</b> that movie!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Ross and Emily’s room, Chandler and Monica are still looking for a place
|
||
to do the deed.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> You really think this is okay?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, Ross and Emily aren’t gonna use it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, it’s so beautiful. Ohh! Y’know, I-I don’t know if I
|
||
feel right about this.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh Mon-Mon-Mon-Mon-look, this is the honeymoon suite. The <b>room</b>
|
||
expects sex. The <b>room</b> would be disappointed if it didn’t get sex. All of the
|
||
other honeymoon suites would think it was a loser.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(They both run to rip the covers off the bed, but are interrupted by Ross.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering) Emily?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Nope, not under here!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> You didn’t find her?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No, I’ve looked everywhere!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, you couldn’t have looked everywhere or else you
|
||
would’ve found her!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah, I think you should keep looking!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, for about 30 minutes.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Or 45.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Wow, in 45 minutes you can find her twice. (Monica smiles at that.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No! For all I know, she’s trying to find me but couldn’t because
|
||
I kept moving around. No, from now on, I’m staying in one place. (He sits down on the
|
||
bed.) Right here.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, it’s getting late.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, we’re gonna go.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Actually, do you guys mind staying here for a while?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Ugh, y’know, umm we gotta get up early and catch that plane for New
|
||
York.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, it’s a very large plane.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (disappointed) That’s cool.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> But, we’ll stay here with you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Thanks guys! (They both sit down on either side of him.) I really
|
||
appreciate this, y’know, but you don’t have to rub my butt.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Chandler slowly takes his hand away.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Ross and Emily’s room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his
|
||
head in Monica’s lap and his feet on Chandler’s lap. Monica and Chandler are
|
||
both still awake and depressed.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> We have to leave for New York in an hour.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I know, I’ve been looking at those doors, they look pretty sound
|
||
proof, don’t you think?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> We can’t do that that’s insane. I mean ‘A’ he
|
||
could wake up and ‘B’ y’know, let’s go for it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(They both try to slowly extricate themselves from Ross, but there’s a knock on
|
||
the door that awakens him.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Em-Emily? (Looking around for her.) Em-Emily? (He runs to the door.)
|
||
Emily! (He opens the door to reveal the Walthams standing outside.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Waltham:</b> No.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mrs. Waltham:</b> You can forget about Emily, she’s not with us.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Waltham:</b> We’ve come for her things.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Wait, well wh-wh-wh-where is she?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Waltham:</b> She’s in hiding. She’s utterly humiliated. She
|
||
doesn’t want to see you ever again.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mrs. Waltham:</b> We’re very sad that it didn’t work out between you and
|
||
Emily, monkey. But, I think you’re absolutely delicious.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Waltham:</b> Excuse me, I’m standing right here!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mrs. Waltham:</b> Oh yes, there you are.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (entering, carrying an armful of those little soaps.) Hey-hey, you guys
|
||
oh hurry up, get some, there’s a whole cart outside… (Sees the Walthams and
|
||
stops.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Waltham:</b> Goodbye Geller.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Now, hold on! Hold on! (Stops him) Look, look, your daughter and I are
|
||
supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that I’m gonna
|
||
be at that airport and I hope that she’ll be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachel’s
|
||
name, but it didn’t mean anything, Okay? She’s-she’s just a friend and
|
||
that’s all! (Rachel sits down, depressed.) That’s all! Now just tell Emily that
|
||
I love her and that I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please,
|
||
promise me that you’ll tell her that.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Waltham:</b> All right, I’ll tell her. (To his wife) Come on bugger face!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mrs. Waltham:</b> (As she walks pass Ross, she pats his but.) Call me.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Waltham:</b> You spend half your life in the bathroom, why don’t you ever
|
||
go out the bloody window!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: A 747 somewhere over the North Atlantic, Monica and Chandler are sitting in
|
||
first class, depressed.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Y’know, maybe it’s best that we never got to do it again.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, it kinda makes that-that one night special. (Realizes something)
|
||
Y’know, technically we still <b>are</b> over international waters.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I’m gonna go to the bathroom, maybe I’ll see you there in a
|
||
bit?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> ‘Kay!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Monica gets up and heads for the bathroom, Chandler turns to watch her go and is
|
||
startled to see Joey sitting in Monica’s seat.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Can I ask you something?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Uhh, no.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Felicity and I, we’re watching <i>My Giant</i>, and I was thinking,
|
||
"I’m never gonna be as good an actor as that giant." Do you think I’m
|
||
just wasting my life with this acting thing?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I mean, the giant is like five years younger than me, y’know, you
|
||
think I’ll ever get there?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Thanks man. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay man. (Chandler starts to get up.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> But what about how much taller he is than me?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Time lapse, Chandler is finishing his third little bottle of booze.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I mean, there’s no way I can make myself taller now, y’know? And
|
||
who knows what science will come up with in the future, but Chandler, what if I die an
|
||
unsuccessful, regular sized man?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Monica returns.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, Monica, wow you’ve been in the bathroom for like a half-hour.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I know!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Had the beef-tips, huh?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is eating cereal from a bowl she has balanced on
|
||
her stomach as Joey, Chandler, and Monica return.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hi!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(They all hug.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (To Joey) You ate meat! (Joey is shocked) (To Chandler and Monica) You
|
||
had sex! (They’re shocked.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No we didn’t!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I know you didn’t, I was talking about Monica.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Phoebe, I did not have sex.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> This pregnancy is throwing me all off.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right, I’m gonna go say hi the chick and the duck.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, me too!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Why would you need to say hi to them, you’ve been feeding them for
|
||
four days?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh right, maybe I’ll just go home. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(She grabs her bag and leaves, Joey moves a little quicker to his apartment, leaving
|
||
Monica and Chandler alone.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, we certainly are alone.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes! Good thing we have that, ‘Not in New York’ rule.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Right. Umm, listen since we’re-we-re on that subject, umm, I just
|
||
wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what
|
||
with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Ross’s mother…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Right.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, an-anyway, I just—that night meant a lot to me, I guess
|
||
I’m just trying to say thanks.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh. Y’know, that night meant a lot to me too, and it wasn’t
|
||
because I was in a bad place or anything, it just meant a lot to me ‘cause,
|
||
you’re really hot! Is that okay?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (laughs) That’s okay.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> And I’m cute too.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> And you’re cute too.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Thank you! (They hug.) All right, I gotta go unpack.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Bye. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(After he closes the door, Monica starts to follow him, but thinks better of it and
|
||
stops.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (entering) I’m still on London time, does that count?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> That counts!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, good! (They start kissing.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: An airport in London, Ross is waiting for Emily to show up to go on their
|
||
honeymoon and sees Rachel walking past.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Rach! Rach!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (she stops and turns) Hi!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hi! What are you, what are you doing here?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, I-I-I’ve been on Standby for a flight home for hours. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohh, so no sign of Emily huh?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Not yet.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> So umm, what time are you supposed to leave?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><strong>Gate Agent:</strong> (On the P.A.) This is the last call for Flight 1066 to
|
||
Athens. The last call.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Pretty soon I guess.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah. I’m sorry.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I just, I don’t understand, I mean, how-how can she do this?
|
||
Y’know, what, am I, am I like a complete idiot for thinking that she’d actually
|
||
show up?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No, you’re not an idiot, Ross. You’re a guy very much in love.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Same difference.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><strong>Gate Agent:</strong> (On the P.A.) All ticketed passengers for Flight 1066 to
|
||
Athens should now be on board.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I get it! Well, that’s that.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No, you know what, I think you should go.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, I do. I think you should go, by yourself, get some distance, clear
|
||
your head, I think it’d be really good.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t know…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, come on Ross! I think it would be <b>really</b> good for you!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I could, yeah, I can do that.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I can’t, I can’t even believe her! No, y’know what, I am, I
|
||
am gonna go!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Good!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I know, why not?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Right!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Right?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Right!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Y’know—thanks! (They hug)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, I’ll see you back at home, if I ever get a flight out of
|
||
here.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, well…nah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What? Wait, what?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Why don’t you come, I mean, I-I have two tickets, why not?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well-well, I don’t know Ross—really?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, yeah, it’ll be great! You can, you can lay on the beach and I
|
||
can cry over my failed marriage. See-see how I make jokes?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Uh-huh.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No really, I mean, I mean, God, I could use a friend.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh wow, uh okay, uh maybe. Umm, yes, I can do that!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Cool!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> All right!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Come on! (They go to the jetway, Ross hands the tickets to the gate
|
||
agent.) Here. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, okay, we’re going. Yeah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Ah! Ah! I forgot my jacket!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, wait-wait-wait…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> You tell them to wait!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay. Wait! Wait!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Ross retrieves his jacket and sees that not only has Emily arrived, but she as seen
|
||
Rachel take her place on the plane.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Emily.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(She stares at him and Ross realizes what she’s thinking.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh no-no-no! Oh-no! (Emily starts to run out and Ross chases her.) No! No!
|
||
Emily!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Ending Credits</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Flight 1066 to Athens, Rachel is ordering a drink for Ross and herself.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot and uh, (points to
|
||
Ross’s seat.) he will have a white wine spritzer. Woo! (Looks out the window.) Hey,
|
||
look at that, the airport’s moving. (Realizes that that’s not how it works.)
|
||
Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the
|
||
captain know that we’re moving? (Sits back in defeat.) Oh my God. Oh, my gosh.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<hr>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><!--webbot bot="ImageMap" startspan
|
||
rectangle="(136,1) (193, 80) http://thecfsi.com/season5/502kiss.htm"
|
||
rectangle="(69,0) (125, 80) http://thecfsi.com/season5.htm"
|
||
rectangle="(1,0) (57, 80) http://thecfsi.com/season4/423rowed.htm" src="../contrl08.gif"
|
||
width="194" height="60" alt="contrl08.gif (14783 bytes)" border="0" --><map name="FrontPageMap0"><area shape="RECT" coords="136, 1, 193, 80" href="http://thecfsi.com/season5/502kiss.htm"><area shape="RECT" coords="69, 0, 125, 80" href="http://thecfsi.com/season5.htm"><area shape="RECT" coords="1, 0, 57, 80" href="http://thecfsi.com/season4/423rowed.htm"></map><img src="./The One After Ross Says Rachel_files/contrl08.gif" width="194" height="60" alt="contrl08.gif (14783 bytes)" border="0" usemap="#FrontPageMap0"><!--webbot
|
||
bot="ImageMap" i-checksum="596" endspan --></p>
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
</body></html> |