mirror of
https://github.com/bvanroll/startrek-ml.git
synced 2025-08-29 03:52:47 +00:00
666 lines
25 KiB
HTML
666 lines
25 KiB
HTML
|
||
<!-- saved from url=(0055)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season7/718towja.htm -->
|
||
<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
|
||
<title>The One With Joey’s Award</title>
|
||
|
||
<meta name="GENERATOR" content="Microsoft FrontPage 4.0">
|
||
<meta name="Template" content="C:\Program Files\Microsoft Office\Templates\FRIENDS.dot">
|
||
<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
|
||
|
||
<body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" link="#008000" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
|
||
|
||
<h1 align="center">The One With Joey’s Award</h1>
|
||
|
||
<hr>
|
||
|
||
<p>Teleplay by: Brian Boyle<br>
|
||
Story by: Sherry Bilsing & Ellen Plummer<br>
|
||
Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
|
||
|
||
<hr>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Monica are there as Joey is entering excitedly.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey! You guys! You’re not gonna believe this! I just got off the
|
||
phone with my agent…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh my God! (Joey looks at her.) I’m sorry, too soon. You go.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay. I got nominated for my part on <i>Days of Our Lives</i>!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Joey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Good for you!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Congratulations! Wow! I can’t believe you’re nominated for an <i>Emmy</i>!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No-no.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh <i>Soap Opera Digest</i> award!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No! I’m up for a Soapie!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Honey? Is that something you’re making up?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No, no, no! It’s real! And it has been since 1998. (Rachel returns
|
||
from the bathroom.) Hey Rach! Rach! I’m up for a Soapie!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (gasps) Oh my God! Oh my God!! That is like the third most prestigious
|
||
soap opera award there is!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Thank you! Well, I guess now I know who I’m taking to the awards.
|
||
(Points to Rachel.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, stop that! Don’t kid about that! (Gasps) Will all the stars be
|
||
there?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Many are scheduled to appear.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh my God! Oh my God! I can’t go! I’m gonna be too nervous!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (to Joey) Okay, I’ll go!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No!! You are getting married! This is all I have.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: N.Y.U, Ross is giving a lecture.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> …and it was Ernst Muhlbrat who first hypothesized that the
|
||
Velociraptor would expand it’s collar and emit a high pitched noise to frighten
|
||
it’s predator. (A student raises his hand.) Yes Mr. Lewis? </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Lewis:</b> What kinda noise?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Just a high pitched intimidating noise.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Lewis:</b> But like how?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well we-we don’t know for sure. But in my head it-it sounded
|
||
something like this. (He makes a high pitched noise and Alan doesn’t know what to
|
||
make of it.) Of course, this is just conjecture. Okay, that’s uh, that’s all for
|
||
today. (Everyone starts to get up.) Uh Mr. Morse, can I see you for a moment? </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Morse:</b> Yes sir.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Mr. Morse I need to talk to you about your mid-term exam, I’m afraid
|
||
I-I had to fail you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Morse:</b> (shocked) Why?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well you need 60% to pass…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Morse:</b> What’d I get?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Seven.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Morse:</b> That’s not so good.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No-no it’s not. What-what happened there Ned?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Morse:</b> Well maybe you can cut me some slack. I’m sort of in love.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well I’m sorry but, that-that’s really not my problem.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Morse:</b> I’m in love with you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well that brings me in the loop a little.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Morse:</b> You see, that’s why I did so bad on this test. I’m having a
|
||
hard time concentrating. When you’re up there (Points to the podium) and you’re
|
||
teaching and your face gets all serious…you look so good. (In a sexy voice) You wear
|
||
that tight little turtleneck sweater…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay! (Walks away from him.) Umm, I uh, I’m your teacher. I’m
|
||
sorry, you’re-you’re a student and I-and I like women. In spite of what may be
|
||
written on the backs of some of these chairs.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are drinking coffee and Phoebe notices a cute
|
||
guy checking them out.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh my God! That guy at the counter is totally checking you out!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Really? (Looks.) My God, he’s really cute.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Go for it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Phoebe, I’m engaged!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I’m just saying, get his number just in case. But no: Chandler is in
|
||
an accident and can’t perform sexually and he would want you to take a lover to
|
||
satisfy the needs that he can no longer fulfill.</p>
|
||
<b>
|
||
|
||
</b><p><b>The Cute Guy:</b> (To Monica) Hi!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Op, can I just tell you something? Very flattered but umm, I’m
|
||
engaged. (Points to her ring.)</p>
|
||
<b>
|
||
|
||
</b><p><b>The Cute Guy:</b> Wow! Uh, this is kind of embarrassing. I was actually coming over to
|
||
talk to your friend.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well you should be embarrassed. (Leaves.)</p>
|
||
<b>
|
||
|
||
</b><p><b>The Cute Guy:</b> (To Phoebe) I thought you knew I was looking at you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I did, but that was really fun.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sitting in the chair.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is…Joey Tribbiani! (He
|
||
then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a
|
||
bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh… Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I
|
||
didn’t prepare a speech. But umm, I’d like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my
|
||
parents, who’ve always been there for me. I’d also like to thank my friends,
|
||
Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I’m fourth! (Joey is startled.) Look at you with your little maple
|
||
syrup award!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah may-maybe you don’t tell anyone about this.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What? No! It’s not a big deal! I do that too, with my shampoo
|
||
bottle.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Really?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> What award are you practicing for?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> <i>Grammy</i>, Best New Artist.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, hey listen! The Soapie’s called today, and I also get to present
|
||
an award.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohh that’s great!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> So you’ll definitely get onstage, even if you don’t win.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (confused) What you-you don’t think I’m gonna win?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well of course I do! But y’know, favorite returning character is a
|
||
tough category Joey. I mean you’re up against the guy who survived his own cremation.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah. No-no I-I know I might not win, but it’s just…I’ve
|
||
never even been nominated before! I want it so much.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well Joey, you’ll probably get it. But you should probably
|
||
start practicing your gracious loser face. Y’know when like the cameras are on you and you wanna
|
||
look disappointed, but also that your colleague deserved to win. Y’know? So it’s
|
||
sorta like… (Does it, you’ll have to see it.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey! (Likes it.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Y’know?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> You practice losing the <i>Grammies</i> too?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh no, at the <i>Grammies</i> I always win.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica’s Restaurant Kitchen, she’s cooking as Phoebe enters.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh hey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey! How’d your date go with Jake?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, great! We couldn’t keep our eyes off each other all night and
|
||
then every once and a while y’know, he’d kinda lean over and stroke my hair and
|
||
touch my neck. (Does that to Monica.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, stop it Phoebe, you’re getting me all tingly.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (laughs) All I could think of was y’know, "Is he gonna kiss
|
||
me? Is he gonna kiss me?"</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> And did he?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I’m a lady Monica, I don’t kiss and tell. But this hickey
|
||
speaks for itself. (She starts to open up her blouse.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay-okay, I got it. I got it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I just like him so much that I just feel like I’ve had 10 drinks
|
||
today and I’ve only had six.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, I haven’t had that feeling since I first started going out with
|
||
Chandler. Wow, I’m never gonna have that feeling again, am I?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You sound like a guy.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> No, a guy would be saying, "I’m never gonna get to sleep with
|
||
anyone else." Oh my God! I’m never gonna get to sleep with anyone else!
|
||
I’ve been so busy planning the wedding that I forgot about all the things that
|
||
I’d be giving up! I mean, I…I’m never gonna have a first kiss again.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You’ll have a last kiss.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is helping Joey with his tie.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Can I ask you something? Have you ever had a guy have a crush on you?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Is that why you wanted to tie my tie?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> There’s this kid in my class who said he’s in love with me.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Whoa!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (entering from her room) Whoa what?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ross has a boyfriend.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I do-I do <b>not</b> have a boyfriend. There’s a guy in one of my
|
||
classes who-who has a crush on me.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Really?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah! I don’t know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid.
|
||
What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of…sexy professor vibe? (Rachel
|
||
and Joey both look at him.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Not right now.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> It-it—The point is my natural charisma has made him fail his midterm.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, see now I feel bad for the kid! I had a crush on a teacher once and
|
||
it was so hard! Y’know you—I couldn’t concentrate and I blushed every time
|
||
he looked at me. I mean come on, you remember what’s it’s like to be 19 and in
|
||
love.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah. I guess I can cut him some slack.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> How’d you get over that teacher?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I didn’t. I got under him.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (To Ross) Problem solved.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is saying good-bye to her boyfriend Jake at the door to
|
||
Central Perk.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jake:</b> Bye Phoebe.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay bye. (They kiss.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jake:</b> All right. Bye. (Backs out the door.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Bye! (Phoebe goes over and joins Monica on the couch.) We said good-bye
|
||
at the door so as not to flaunt our new love.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Phoebe, it’s okay. You don’t have to tip toe around me.
|
||
I-I’ve been thinking about it and umm, y’know what? I’m okay about not
|
||
having that new relationship feeling…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jake:</b> (yelling through the window to Phoebe) I miss you already!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (yelling back) I miss you too!!!! (He walks away.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> See? That’s what I mean. I mean <b>that</b>, that’s great! But
|
||
I wouldn’t trade in what I have for that. I mean I’m gonna be with Chandler for
|
||
the rest of my life, and that’s what makes me happy. (Chandler approaches.) Hey
|
||
sweetie, come here! Come sit down. Hey Phoebe and I were just talking about how our
|
||
relationship is deep and meaningful. It really is, don’t you think?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh totally! (Holds up his finger.) Pull my finger.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: The 2001 Soapie Awards, Joey’s category is up next and the presenter walks
|
||
to the podium.]</p>
|
||
<b>
|
||
|
||
</b><p><b>Announcer:</b> Presenting the award for Favorite Returning Male Character is
|
||
McKensize…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Joey and Rachel’s table.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (To Rachel) This is it! This is my category.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I know! My God! Do you have your speech?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, I got my speech!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Do you got your gracious loser face?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah. (Does it.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Now Joey remember, if you win you have to hug me! You hug me!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay. Can I squeeze your ass?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> On TV?! Yeah!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> ‘Kay! </p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to the presenter.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>The Presenter:</b> …in the category of Favorite Returning Male Character the
|
||
nominees are: John Wheeler from <i>General Hospital</i> (Applause), Gavin Grant from <i>The
|
||
Young and the Restless</i> (Applause), Duncan Harrington from <i>Passions</i> (Applause),
|
||
and Joey Tribbiani from <i>Days of Our Lives</i> (Applause). And the Soapie goes
|
||
to…(She opens the envelope)…Gavin Grant from <i>The Young and the Restless</i>!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which
|
||
is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that he’s on TV
|
||
right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: The 2001 Soapie Awards, the announcer is introducing the next presenter.]</p>
|
||
<b>
|
||
|
||
</b><p><b>Announcer:</b> Presenting the award for Favorite Supporting Actress is Joey Tribbiani
|
||
from <i>Days of Our Lives</i>. (Applause as Joey angrily walks to the podium and eyes the
|
||
trophy.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for
|
||
this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head
|
||
in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are: from <i>Passions:</i> Erin Goff.
|
||
(There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to die out.) From <i>One Life to Live:</i>
|
||
Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of
|
||
the nominees), from <i>All My Children:</i> Sarah McCann, and from <i>Days of Our Lives:</i>
|
||
Jessica Ashley. And the winner is…(Opens the envelope)…Jessica Ashley from <i>Days
|
||
of Our Lives</i>. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldn’t be with us tonight, so
|
||
I’ll be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And I’m sure
|
||
that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. She’d also
|
||
like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel, who’s
|
||
sittin’ right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is
|
||
turned off; this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are entering.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Joey! Why did we have to rush out of there so fast?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Rach, we had to get out of there because: look what I won! (He whips out
|
||
the award for Best Supporting Actress that he accepted for Jessica.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh my God, you stole her award!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No-no! No, I’m accepting it on her behalf. (He puts it up above the
|
||
TV to display it.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Joey I don’t think you know what behalf means.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Sure I do! It’s a verb! As in, "I behalfin’ it!"</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Joey, you have got to take this back!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> But why?! I should’ve won one and I really want it, and she
|
||
didn’t even care enough to come to the thing! It could also be a <i>Grammy</i>.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (looking at the award) No! Joey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Come on Rach! No one saw me take it! There was a whole table full of
|
||
‘em.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Do you really want an award you didn’t win?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No! I want an award I did win! But nobody’s giving me any of those!
|
||
Plus—Hey Rach, if-if I put it up there (Points to the TV) right? When people come
|
||
over they’ll see it and they’ll think I won it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Joey, it says Best Supporting Actress!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I can scratch that right off.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Joey, no: this is wrong! You have to take it back, okay? You don’t
|
||
want to win an award this way. You’re very talented. And someday you’re gonna
|
||
win one of these for real, and <b>that</b> one is gonna mean something.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> All right? (He sets the award down.) Thank you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I’ll take it back tomorrow.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Thank you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(He goes into his room and closes the door. Rachel goes to pick it up and…)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (opening his door) If I can’t have it you can’t have it! (Rachel
|
||
walks away angrily.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Ross’s Classroom, he is writing on the board and Alan is coming in to see
|
||
him.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Lewis:</b> Professor Geller?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (turning towards him) Yes Mr. Lewis, how can I help you?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Lewis:</b> I know I didn’t do well on my midterms and stuff but, I was kinda
|
||
hoping you could change my grade.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> And why exactly would I do that? (Goes back to writing on the board.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Lewis:</b> Because I’m in love with you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (turning around and dragging the chalk down the board) What?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Lewis:</b> Yeah, I’m all…in love with you and stuff. So could you change
|
||
my grade?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Lewis:</b> Well why not? You changed Ned’s grade!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well that’s different! Okay? Because he, he was actually in love with
|
||
me!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Lewis:</b> No he’s not! He’s totally yanking your chain! He’s done
|
||
this with three other teachers!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Lewis:</b> He’s got a girlfriend!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I can’t believe someone would do that for a grade.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Lewis:</b> I know! It’s awful. I love you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Ross glares at him.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Monica enters.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Have you seen Chandler?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No. Why?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> ‘Cause I just keep thinking about all these things that I’m
|
||
not gonna have, and it’s freaking me out. I don’t know what to do about it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, don’t sweat it. (Looking around her.) Chandler is nowhere
|
||
around so go ahead get it out of your system. That guy’s cute. (Points to a guy
|
||
sitting behind Monica.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Phoebe! Come on, I’m serious! I just got to talk to him about all
|
||
this.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, that is the <b>last</b> thing you want to do!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Why?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Because you’re marrying him!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> You gotta help me out here Pheebs.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> All right, I’ve never been engaged and I’ve never really been
|
||
married, but I can only tell you what my mother told me. Whenever you have doubts or fears
|
||
or anxieties about a relationship, do <b>not</b> communicate them to your husband.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> So I’m not supposed to share my doubts and fears with the guy
|
||
I’m gonna spend the rest of my life with?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> That is correct! Yes, you’re supposed to take all of that stuff and
|
||
put it in a little box in your mind and then lock it up tight.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Your mother told you this?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yes!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> The woman that got married a bunch of times and killed herself when you
|
||
were 13?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh my God! You’re right! Go! (Monica starts to leave.) Go tell
|
||
Chandler! Hurry before it’s too late! Wait no! (Monica stops.) Does this also mean
|
||
putting out doesn’t get you love? (Monica is shocked.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey and Rachel are there to give Jessica her award.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I cannot believe I’m gonna meet Jessica Ashley!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay wait-wait p-please be cool! Okay? I work with this woman.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, I’m totally cool! (She coolly knocks on the door)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jessica Ashley:</b> Come in.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(The enter.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey Jessica.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (coolly) Hey Jess.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ah, this is my friend Rachel.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jessica Ashley:</b> Hi.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> ‘Sup? (Joey glares at her.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Uh listen, here’s your Soapie. I accepted it for ya. (Hands it to
|
||
her.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jessica Ashley:</b> (shocked) Oh my God! I won! Do you have any idea what this
|
||
means?! (She rolls her eyes and throws it onto the couch.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, that-that-that’s it? You’re gonna, you’re gonna put
|
||
it on your shelf or anything?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jessica Ashley:</b> No, I try to save that for real awards. Now, if you’ll
|
||
excuse me. (She exits.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (To Rachel) Take it back?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Absolutely.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Y-y-yeah! (As they start to leave, Rachel pauses and steals a vase with
|
||
flowers in it.) Yeah you do. (They exit.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is talking to Chandler.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Honey, as we get closer to the wedding, is there anything that you would
|
||
like to talk about or share?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay. Well, I think the centerpieces are too big</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> You’re wrong! The centerpieces are fine! Do you ever get scared at
|
||
all?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Kinda. They’re really big.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Doesn’t it ever just freak you out that-that you’re never
|
||
gonna be with anybody new again?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Just, I love you so much. Just…It’s just sometimes it bothers
|
||
me that I’m never gonna have that feeling. Y’know when you meet someone for the
|
||
first time and it’s new and exciting? Y’know that rush?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No. No, see when I first meet somebody it’s uh it’s mostly
|
||
panic, anxiety, and a great deal of sweating.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, but all right you’re a guy, does it not freak you that
|
||
you’re never gonna sleep with anybody else?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Sleeping with somebody new: anxiety, panic, and, I’m afraid, even
|
||
more sweating.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Even with me?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I was dangerously dehydrated during the first six months of our
|
||
relationship. (Monica laughs.) Look, for me the rush is knowing that we are gonna be
|
||
together for the rest of our lives.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Really?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well yeah! But now that I know that you’re having these thoughts,
|
||
I’m back to panic, anxiety, and uh I’m definitely gonna need some kind of sports
|
||
drink.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Come here! Come here! (They hug.) Sweetie you don’t have to worry.
|
||
No, besides y’know what? I’m gonna have a lot of new things with you. The first
|
||
time we buy a house. Our first kid. Our first grandkid…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (hoarsely) Water! Water! Water!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Ross’s classroom, he has just finished his lecture and the students are
|
||
filing out.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh Mr. Morse, can I speak to you for a moment?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Morse:</b> (walking up) That was a great lecture today. Did you get a little hair
|
||
cut?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh-hmm, yeah-yeah do you like it? Do-do you looove it? I just want you to
|
||
know that I’m changing your grade back.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Morse:</b> What?! Why?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> ‘Cause I know what you’re trying to pull here. Okay? It’s
|
||
not gonna work.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Morse:</b> I’m not trying to pull anything. Look, I love you dude.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Y’know what? I-I’m not even gonna talk about this. Okay? This
|
||
little thing is over. I <b>know</b> you have a girlfriend! Okay—(Ned looks
|
||
shocked)—Yeah! And I know about the other professors! How do you think that makes me
|
||
feel, Ned?! You used me! You don’t love me and you never did! (Ross turns around to
|
||
make a grand exit but runs into two colleagues.) Ah Professor Winston, Professor
|
||
Fredrickson, I’ll be right with you. (To Ned) Don’t make this worse and
|
||
I’ll give you a C. (To the professors) Shall we? (They leave.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Ending Credits</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Rach? </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I’ll be out in a second.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Phoebe notices the Soapie on the counter.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh. (Picks it up.) It’s just so unexpected! I…I uh…Boy
|
||
I’ll tell you it’s just such an honor to be nominated for a<i> Nobel Prize</i>
|
||
and y’know to win one for a massage. Especially after having just won a <i>Tony</i>
|
||
award for best actress in…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (entering from her room) Honey, we have to go. Our reservations are at
|
||
8:00.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> …in Reservations at 8:00 by Neil Simon. (To an imaginary Neil
|
||
Simon) Thank-thank you Neil. Thank you for the words. (Blows him a kiss.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay honey, you can finish this later we’re gonna be late. We gotta
|
||
go.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Please, don’t play the music. Just uh one more. <b>LIVE FROM NEW
|
||
YORK! IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT!!</b></p><b>
|
||
</b>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<hr>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><map name="FPMap0">
|
||
<area href="http://thecfsi.com/season7.htm" shape="rect" coords="136, 1, 193, 80">
|
||
<area href="http://thecfsi.com/season7.htm" shape="rect" coords="69, 1, 126, 80">
|
||
<area href="http://thecfsi.com/season7/717cwd.htm" shape="rect" coords="0, 1, 60, 80"></map><img rectangle="(0,1) (60, 80) http://thecfsi.com/season7/717cwd.htm" src="./The One With Joey’s Award_files/contrl08.gif" width="194" height="60" alt="contrl08.gif (14783 bytes)" border="0" usemap="#FPMap0"></p>
|
||
|
||
|
||
</body></html> |