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<title>The One With Joey’s Fridge</title>
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<body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" link="#008000" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
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<h1 align="center">The One With Joey’s Fridge</h1>
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<hr>
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<p>Teleplay by: Gigi McCreery & Perry Rein<br>
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Story by: Seth Kurland<br>
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Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
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<hr>
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<p>[Scene: Joey and now Rachel's apartment, Joey has the fridge pulled out away from the
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wall and is in the process of pulling off the cooling grate behind it.]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Well that thing is clearing in the way! All right. Ah-ha! (He grabs a
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screwdriver and starts to attack the compressor, only he causes a small short circuit and
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shocks himself.) Ah-ah!! Damn fridge! </p>
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<p>(Rachel enters from her new room.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi Joey, how ya doin’?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Great! Roomie!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Huh, yeah I guess we are roommates now.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to
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get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I’m not paying for half of that! I’m only staying here until
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my apartment gets fixed.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Look Rach, my parents bought this fridge just after I was born, okay? Now,
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I have <b>never</b> had a problem with it. Then you show up and it breaks! What does that
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tell ya’?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> That refrigerators don’t live as long as people.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> All right, now you know that the ATM will only lets you take out 300 at a
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time, I’ll take a check for the other hundred.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> You’re jokin’ right?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Of course I’m jokin’! I don’t take checks.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Thank God you’re pretty. (Exits.)</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Hi! Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Do you guys know any cute guys?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, of course I do! My good friend Joey over here. (Pats Joey’s
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arm, Joey pats Chandler’s shoulder, and Chandler motions for Joey to say the same
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about him.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, I’m sorry. Thank you Chandler.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Anyway, there’s this big charity ball this weekend and Ralph Lauren
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bought a table, so I kinda have to go…</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> What’s the charity?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I don’t know, something either trees or disease—Ralph mumbles
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a lot.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Does Ralph mumble when you’re not paying attention?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah! It’s weird. But the thing is need to find a date.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well, what kind of guy are you looking for?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, someone that has his own tux, or has the ability to <b>rent</b> a
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tux.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> So he has to be a male who has at least $50.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Ooh! So close.</p>
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<p>(Ross and Elizabeth enter.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey everybody!</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey uh, this is Elizabeth.</p>
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<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> Oh hi!</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> I’m the student.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (laughs) Isn’t she cute? (On Monica’s death stare) No!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Y’know, this is probably none of my business, but weren’t you
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guys supposed to not be seen in public together?</p>
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<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> Oh, we’re not together.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh no-no-no, we’re just two people who happen to run into each other
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here at the coffee house. (He winks at her.)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, sly.</p>
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<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> Well, I really wanted to meet you guys, but I have to run. I’ll
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see you later?</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Okay!</p>
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<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> Bye Ross.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Bye.</p>
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<p>(They kiss.)</p>
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<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> Oops! I did not mean to run into you like that sir.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh that is quite all right ma’am. (Elizabeth exits.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> So, why is she leaving? Is it a school night and she has a lot of
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homework to do?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yes, her molecular epidemiology paper is due tomorrow.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, tell her good luck with that.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Anyone else? Huh? Bring ‘em on!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oo! When’s her birthday?!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I don’t know Rachel, why?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, y’know it’s just been so long since I’ve been to <i>Chuckie
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Cheese</i>.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, I like Elizabeth.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Well thanks!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah. In fact, I like her so much you tell her I want my cookies early
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this year! Y’know, a box of <i>Thin Mints</i> and some <i>Tag-a-Longs</i>.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey-hey come on you guys, give him a break. Ross, seriously, how’s it
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going with her?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, actually it’s been great. She’s 20 so she’s not
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looking for anything too serious, which is perfect for me right now.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Well that is great. And seriously, she seems very nice.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Thanks. I know you guys like to give me a hard time and all, but it really
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means a lot to me that you like her. Just knowing that you guys are…</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (interrupting) Okay, I got a good one. Okay, umm, what is she? Like 12?</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is sitting at the table and Monica is
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doing something in the kitchen.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Chandler, do you think we talk about our relationship enough?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah. Do we have any <i>Fruit Roll-Ups</i>?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (entering) Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, I just thought of the perfect guy for Rachel to take to her thing.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh that’s so funny because we found someone too.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh that’s good, I guess she’ll have a choice between my guy
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and your weirdo.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Why would our guy be a weirdo?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> ‘Cause that’s just your taste.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (laughs sarcastically) Rachel is not going to pick your stupid guy.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh yeah?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> My guy is a lawyer who has volunteer work. And, he has one of these (She
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squeezes the skin on her chin together to form…)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> A face ass?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> A chin dimple!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, uh y’know, our guy works with Chandler and he’s really
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nice and smart and he’s a great dresser!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Have you seen your guy’s body?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> No, our guy is just a floating head.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well my guy is spectacular. Okay? He’s a massage client and one
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time umm, when he was on the table, I looked at it. And I mean all of it.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> You’re not supposed to look!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh yeah, like there are police for that!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (horrified) Wait! You look? You-you massaged me.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I know. (Laughs.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> All right fine, your guy may have a great body, but our guy is really
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funny.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, Chandler funny?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Our guy’s a great dancer!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> My guy is well read.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Our guy has great hair.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> My guy has great teeth!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Our guy smells incredible.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (To Chandler) Do you want our guy to be your guy?</p>
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<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is entering to find Joey bingeing on the
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food from the fridge. Joey isn’t doing all that well.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Huh.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, you…don’t look good Joe.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> The fridge broke. I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream,
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limes—Hey, what was in that brown jar?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> That’s still in there?!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Not anymore. So anyway, how do you want to pay me?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Is this a service you’re providing me?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> No! No! No! For my new fridge—our new fridge!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> <b>Our</b> new fridge? I don’t live here anymore.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> So what? Look, suppose we were a divorced couple.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Uh-huh.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> And I got custody of the kid, right? Now suppose the kid dies and-and I
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gotta buy a new kid.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (not quite sure where Joey’s going and is a little worried)
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Okay…</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (pause) Give me $400!</p>
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<p>[Scene: Ross’s office, he’s unlocking his office door as Elizabeth walks up.]</p>
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<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> Professor Geller?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hmm? (Turns around and sees that its Elizabeth) Oh, a student I don’t
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know.</p>
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<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yes, yes of course, what-what would this be regarding?</p>
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<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> Making out in your office.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Shh! (Laughs then composes himself) Of course, why don’t we go
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inside?</p>
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<p>(They go inside and Ross closes the door. When he turns around Elizabeth walks up to
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him, pushes him back against the door, and starts kissing him.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh-ooh!</p>
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<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Doorknob! Doorknob!</p>
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<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> Oh! Sorry! Umm, I actually do need to talk to you.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, okay. What-what about?</p>
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<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> Spring vacation.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Spring vacation.</p>
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<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> Yeah, we have time off and a lot of people are going on trips…</p>
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<p>(Another professor barges in.)</p>
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<p><strong>Professor Feesen:</strong> Professor Geller!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (quickly jumping away from Elizabeth) Yes, professor
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Feesen-sen-stenlger… I’ll be with you in one moment. (To Elizabeth) So, I will
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take one box of the <i>Thin Mints</i>. (And he ushers Elizabeth out of the office.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Ross, Chandler, and Joey are entering.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> You don’t understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip
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with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, I’m not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I
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tell her?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Just tell her the truth! Tell her you’re not ready.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I can do that. Oh-oh, what if she gets upset?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Then you distract her with a <i>Barbie</i> doll.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Or! You can just, y’know… (He walks up close to whisper in
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Ross’s ear and when he gets there he pushes Ross into the fridge.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What the hell are you doing?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> What? What the hell am <b>I</b> doing? You just broke my fridge!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What?! What? How do you, how do you even know its broken?!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh-ho-ho, you think I don’t know what breaks my fridge? Excuse me!
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(He opens the door and feels inside.) Well what do you know! Broken! That’ll be $400!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Joey, I <b>saw</b> you push him!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (pause) You pushed him!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Joey, I did not break this! Okay? (He opens the freezer and smells inside
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and recoils in disgust.) <b>That</b> has been broken for a while.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> All right. Chandler, do you remember how I told you about our fridge?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Uh-huh.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I still haven’t gotten a check for your half yet.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Do <b>not</b> give him any money!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I’m not talking to you! You broke my fridge!</p>
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<p>[Scene: Ross’s office, he’s opening the door to Elizabeth.]</p>
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<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> You wanted to see me Professor Geller?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yes. Yes! Please, come in.</p>
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<p>(She does so, he closes the door, and she pushes him against the doorknob again.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oo-oo!</p>
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<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> Doorknob?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, it kinda grows on you. (They both laugh.) Actually, I wanted to
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finish talking to you about uh, spring vacation.</p>
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<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> Oh good.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Look, I… (He has trouble sitting in his chair.) Look, I’m having
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a great time with you and I just don’t want us to move to fast or put to much
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pressure on us. So, I’m sorry I just don’t think we should go away together yet.
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It’s-it’s too soon.</p>
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<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> Ross, I think you misunderstood what I was saying. I just wanted to
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tell you that I’m going to Florida for a couple weeks.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> No. I think you misunderstood what <b>I</b> was saying. What I meant
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was…</p>
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<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> You are so adorable.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> That! Let’s talk about that.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey! How did it go with Elizabeth?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Huh? Oh-oh, it was fine. Uh, it was just a misunderstanding. She
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didn’t want me to go with her. She just wanted to let me know that she’s going
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to Florida for spring vacation.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Wait a minute, is she going for spring vacation or is she going for
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spring break? (Does a little whooping/party noise.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What’s-what’s the difference?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, spring vacation is doing nice things with your grandparents.
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Spring break you’re doing frat guys.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, y’know what? Not all spring breaks are like that.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What did you do on yours?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I went to Egypt with my dad.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I can see it now, "Look dad, it’s the Sphinx!" (Does
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that party noise again.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, I think Elizabeth is a little more serious than, "Spring
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break!" (Imitates the party noise.) All right? I mean she’s taken my class!</p>
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|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> And slept with the professor.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I’m gonna call her.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Ross leaves to do so and Rachel enters with a guy.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey! You guys umm, I want you to meet Sebastian.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Sebastian:</b> Hi.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> We just uh, we just met at the newsstand. We both grabbed for the last <i>Field
|
||
& Stream</i>. (Chandler’s shocked.) What? I read that.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Sebastian:</b> Can I get you a cup of coffee?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh yes! Thank you! (He does so and Rachel sits down on the couch.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Rachel, what the hell is this?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (shocked) What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You ask us to find you a guy and you come traipsing in here with your
|
||
own!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You found me a guy?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yes! We found you a really cute and funny guy from Chandler’s work!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah and I-I found you one too who is not a weirdo.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, y’know what though you guys? I really appreciate that but I
|
||
think I’m just gonna take Sebastian to the charity.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Are you sure?! Because our guy smells incredible!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Uh, would you <b>stop</b> it with that already?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Sebastian returns with the coffee.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Sebastian:</b> Here you go. (Hands her, her cup.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, thank you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Sebastian:</b> Sure.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> So, Sebastian, do you do any volunteer work?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Sebastian:</b> Uh, no not really. Why?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No reason, it’s just I know a single guy that cares about other
|
||
people.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Are you funny?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Sebastian:</b> Excuse me?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What are you guys doing?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Are you funny? Tell us a joke!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Sebastian:</b> Look, I just wanted to have coffee with Rachel.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well, so do a lot of people.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Sebastian:</b> Actually, I uh, I gotta get going. (To Rachel) Give me a call
|
||
sometime.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, but y’know, no, you didn’t give me your phone number.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Sebastian:</b> Okay! See you later! (Exits.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (To Monica) Turns out he is kinda funny. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I cannot believe you guys! He was really nice and he left because of
|
||
you!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, but Sebastian? What is that? A cat’s name?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, y’know what I noticed Rachel? He scares easy. Is that the
|
||
kind of guy you’d like to take to a ball? "Hey Sebastian, would you like to
|
||
dance?" (Imitates him.) "Uhh, okay—I gotta go!"</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> All right guys stop it. Rachel, we’re very sorry that is a very
|
||
insensitive thing for us to do. And y’know what? Let us make it up to you, we have
|
||
two really great guys for you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah! What have you got to lose? Y’know you might even end up with
|
||
someone really special (whispers) if you pick my guy.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> All right.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, so you will meet our guys?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes, I’ll meet ‘em.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay now it doesn’t matter which one you choose, y’know?
|
||
It’s completely up to you. Our guy is perfect, or you can go out with the guy Phoebe
|
||
deemed not good enough to go out with herself.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (entering) Pheebs! There you are! Okay, you broke my fridge; you owe me
|
||
400 bucks!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay sure!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Really?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ooh, technically you owe me $600 for sending out happy thoughts on your
|
||
last ten auditions.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Call it even?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Ross returns.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (To Ross) Well, there you are! So what did Elizabeth say?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, it turns out that she is going to Daytona for spring break woo-hoo.
|
||
That means, that means wet T-shirt contests, guys doing shots off of girl’s bodies,
|
||
waking up next to people you don’t even know…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Man, she is going to have a <b>great</b> time! Is she staying at the Hotel
|
||
Corona?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> You know the hotels?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Sure! I was there! Spring Break ’81! Woo-hoo!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> In 1981 you were 13!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> So what? I drove down, sold T-shirts, had a blast. And y’know who
|
||
knows how to party? Drunk college chicks.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, she can’t go.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ross, you can’t tell her not to go. You just started dating.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Then what am I supposed to do?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Nothing, you just have to be cool with it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, what is she goes down and-and sleeps with a bunch of guys?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, maybe you <b>don’t</b> marry this one.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Elizabeth’s apartment, she is packing for her trip as Ross watches.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I’m so glad you’re going on this trip!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> Yeah! I’ve been working so hard this semester. I really need to
|
||
go crazy y’know, blow off some steam.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Sure. Sure. Look I don’t, I don’t know if your plans are
|
||
finalized yet, but umm, hey I-I know another great way to blow off steam.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Are you into crafts at all?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> Ross, are you okay?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, yeah, of-of course I’m okay! What? I’m just being
|
||
supportive. Supportive of you and this whole trip, and-and (notices something) what-what
|
||
is uh, what’s this? (He holds up a rather skimpy bathing suit.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> It’s a bathing suit?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> To wear in front of people?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> Is that supportive?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Is this?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is reading as Monica and Chandler enter.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Good-good-good-good.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> We’re really glad you decided to meet our guy.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> You’re gonna like him so much. So umm, when do you want to meet
|
||
him?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I don’t know. I know I don’t work late tomorrow night.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Tomorrow night is good. Tomorrow night is good, but uh, y’know
|
||
what? Why put off something till tomorrow that you can do right now? (Laughs) Eldad come
|
||
here! (He stands up from the next table.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Eldad, this is Rachel.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Eldad:</b> How are you?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well-well a little blind sided but y’know good.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Eldad, sit down. (To Rachel) Move over! Move over now!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I—Ohh! (Moves over and lets Eldad sit on the couch.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> There you go! There you are! (Rachel stares at Monica and Chandler)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay! Okay! We can take a hint! (They start to leave but run into Phoebe
|
||
with her guy in tow.) (To Phoebe) What are you doing here?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> This is Patrick. (Points to him.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Patrick:</b> Hi.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hi. (To Phoebe) Okay, you’re too late okay? Because she’s
|
||
already with our guy.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (looks) Oh my God, you’re right! I am too late; they’re
|
||
sitting on the couch and talking! (To Patrick) Come on! (They go over to the couch.)
|
||
Rachel?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> This is Patrick.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, hi.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Patrick:</b> Hi.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, this is the guy I was telling you about. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah. And believe me, this suit does not do justice to what’s
|
||
underneath it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh-okay, but Pheebs?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I’m just sort of in the middle of something.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh! Okay! Yeah, that’s okay. (To Patrick) Have a seat. (Sits
|
||
Patrick down next to Rachel.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> No! You can’t do that!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Eldad:</b> Maybe I should go!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (stopping him) Sit down! We’re winning!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, y’know what? Maybe I should go!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>All:</b> (Chandler stops her) No-no-no-no! Have a seat! Have a seat!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Rachel! Rachel! You haven’t touched Eldad’s hair!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> It is the softest hair! Touch it! (Both he and Monica do so.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, I’m good.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Rachel? Patrick is really rich. (To Patrick) Give her some money.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Patrick:</b> Y’know what Phoebe? This isn’t really worth the free massage.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> That’s right Patrick, bye-bye!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (To Rachel) Eldad is much more cooperative! And he can dance! (To
|
||
Eldad) You dance for Rachel!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(He starts to get up, but Rachel stops him.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No-no! Don’t dance for me! Please? Don’t! (She gets up to yell
|
||
at her ‘friends.’) What is the matter with you guys?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, okay, let’s talk it out.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I… Am I the only one that this is embarrassing for?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Eldad:</b> I’m a little embarrassed. (Chandler shushes him.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I’ll tell ya who should be embarrassed! It’s you guys! Come
|
||
on! This is ridiculous! Thank you very much, but I do not need you to get me a date!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Then why did she ask us to…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I am still talking!! And then you chase away the one guy that I actually
|
||
liked! I mean, no offense to you guys. Really! I mean (To Patrick) congratulations on all
|
||
the cash, (He nods) and-and y’know—(Feels Eldad’s hair)—Wow! You do
|
||
have very soft hair! But I would much rather go to the ball all by myself than go through
|
||
anymore of this! Good-bye! (Grabs her stuff, starts to leave, then turns back suddenly,
|
||
and to Eldad) Now do you use some sort of special conditioner on that hair?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Eldad:</b> Yes, Papaya Extract.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Thank you! (Storms out.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: The airport, Elizabeth’s flight is about to leave and Ross is there to
|
||
send her off.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> So uh, have a great time down there.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> I will.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah. And did you, did you pack that bathing suit?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> It was pretty funny when I, when I hid it for a while, huh? Anyway, umm,
|
||
I-I am worried about that bathing suit, not because it’s revealing which I’m
|
||
fine with, no I’m concerned about your health, sun exposure.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> Oh, don’t worry I have plenty of sun block, it’s SPF-30.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, if what’s in the bottle is actually 30. I mean sometimes you
|
||
get 30, sometimes it’s-it’s get 4, and I swear to God more often than not
|
||
it’s just milk.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> Ross, it’s going to be okay. I’m not going down there to
|
||
hook up with a bunch of guys. I really like you. I like how things are going between us.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Really?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> Yeah! I’m just going down there to relax and hang out with my
|
||
friends.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay. Cool.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Elizabeth:</b> Oh hey! Here they are!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(A group of about 10 guys and no women come running around the corner.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><strong>Guy:</strong> Elizabeth!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(The guys pick up Elizabeth and carry her onto the plane as she waves bye.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Call me!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Ending Credits</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are there.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Rachel, we’re sorry for pushing those guys on you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh that’s all right! Y’know, I ended up having a really good
|
||
time. Y’know, the charity was a big success and they raised a lot of money and
|
||
awareness.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> So what was it for anyway?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I wanna say a disease.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (entering) Hey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>All:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I just got this really weird message from Ross. He said turn on <i>MTV</i>.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Huh. All right.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Rachel does so and it’s one of those dance party shows they have during spring
|
||
break and we see…)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh my God, look! That’s Elizabeth!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Suddenly Ross jumps in and starts dancing with her.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh-oh Professor Geller.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ahh, to be 13 again.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
|
||
</body></html> |