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<body class=" __plain_text_READY__">|\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/|<br>| |<br>|908-The
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One With Rachel's Other Sister |<br>|
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|<br>|\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/|
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<p>Transcribed by: r3v3LaT1oN</p>
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<p></p>
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<p>[Scene- They are in Monica's apartment and Chandler and Joey are watching TV.
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Monica is bringing out plates.]</p>
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<p>Monica: Hey Hon? Would you help me get the plates down?</p>
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<p>Chandler: Yeah. Hey! Here's an idea. Why don't we use our wedding china
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today?</p>
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<p>Monica: No, I think we should save our china for something really
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special...Like, if the Queen of England comes over.</p>
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<p>Chandler: Honey, she keeps cancelling on us...Take the hint!</p>
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<p>Monica: What if something gets broken? They're so expensive! </p>
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<p>Chandler: What is the point of having them, if we never use them?</p>
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<p>Monica: Ok..but if something gets broken, and then the Queen comes
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over...</p>
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<p>Chandler: I will explain it to her.</p>
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<p>Monica: Oh yeah! Like I'm going to let you talk to the Queen.</p>
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<p>Joey: Wow the parade is really good this year/Man those horses can crap!
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[Looks sideways at the TV in disgust]</p>
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<p>Narrator from TV: And next up is a marching band from Muskogee, Oklahoma.</p>
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<p>Chandler: Muskogee? That's like four hours from Tulsa! WOO HOO!</p>
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<p>Narrator from TV: And here's the float with the stars of popular daytime
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soap, Days of Our Lives. </p>
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<p>[Joey's eyes widen]</p>
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<p>Joey: Oh my god!!</p>
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<p>Chandler: Aren't you one of the stars of popular daytime soap Days of our
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Lives?</p>
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<p>Joey: Yeah!! I forgot I'm supposed to be there! I can't believe I forgot! I
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usually write stuff like this down on my arm!</p>
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<p>[Chandler grabs Joey's left arm and rolls up his sleeve]</p>
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<p>Joey: OH! Stupid long sleeves!</p>
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<p>Chandler: What are you going to do?</p>
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<p>Joey: (sighs) I guess I'm going to come up with a really good reason why I
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wasn't there! The producer is going to be so mad at me...He sat us all down
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yesterday and said everyone has to be there six AM sharp, that means you
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Tribbiani! (shrugs) Like I was some kind of idiot!</p>
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<p>Chandler: Well, you proved them wrong.</p>
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<p>Joey: Yeah...</p>
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<p>[Opening Credits]</p>
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<p>[Scene-Rachel and Ross are in Ross' apartment. Rachel is tending to the baby.
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Ross is packing a bag.]</p>
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<p>Rachel: Oh Emma...This is your first Thanksgiving...What are you thankful
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for? Mommy's boobies?</p>
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<p>Ross: Alot of people are thankful for those!</p>
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<p>[Somebody knocks on door]</p>
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<p>Voice outside: Hello? Rachel??</p>
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<p>Rachel: Who is it?</p>
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<p>Voice outside: It's your favourite sister!!</p>
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<p>[Ross and Rachel look at each other]</p>
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<p>Ross & Rachel (to each other): Jill?</p>
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<p>Voice outside: Amy!!</p>
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<p>Rachel: Hide my rings...</p>
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<p>[Ross nods and goes into the back rooms. Rachel goes to open the door.]</p>
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<p>Rachel: Hey Amy!! Happy Thanksgiving!</p>
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<p>Amy: Do you have a hair straightener?</p>
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<p>Rachel: Erm...Hi! (Opens arms wide in an embrace)</p>
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<p>Amy (Moves forward as if to hug Rachel then grabs her arms): Hi...Hair
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Straightener.</p>
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<p>Rachel: I haven't seen you in like a year!</p>
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<p>Amy: Oh I know, I know...I've just been crazed...</p>
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<p>Rachel: Oh...me too! Erm..I had a baby...</p>
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<p>Amy: I decorated Dad's office.</p>
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<p>Rachel: Oh..yeah? Well, unless you pushed a desk of your vagina, NOT the same
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thing.</p>
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<p>Amy: Listen erm, about the hair straightener, honey I really need one. I'm
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going to have dinner at my boyfriend's house...[stops as Emma makes a sound] Oh
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my god...Is this Emmet?</p>
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<p>Rachel: Er..It's Emma[emphasizing on Emma]</p>
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<p>Amy: It's a girl?</p>
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<p>Ross: Hey Amy.</p>
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<p>Rachel: Oh Amy, you remember Ross.</p>
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<p>Amy: Not really. But, you are much cuter than that geeky guy she used to
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date. [Ross and Rachel look at Amy in disbelief]</p>
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<p>Ross: That was me. [Rachel laughs in her throat]</p>
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<p>Amy: No...he was this creepy guy from High School who had this huge crush on
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her, since like the ninth grade.</p>
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<p>Ross: Still me.</p>
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<p>Amy (Giggles abit): No I'm not talking about you c'mon. It was your fat
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friend's brother with that BAD afro...</p>
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<p>Ross (Cutting in): Okay, Amy, I'm going to save you some time ok? All me!
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[Makes circling action with finger]</p>
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<p>[Scene-In Chandler and Monica's apartment. Joey is pacing back and forth.
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Chandler is helping Monica lay out the plates with <br>her supervision.]</p>
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<p>Monica: Careful. Careful.. CAREFUL!</p>
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<p>Chandler: I'll tell you what. For the rest of our lives, I'll be careful,
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until told otherwise.</p>
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<p>[Silence from Monica]</p>
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<p>Chandler: Wait a minute. This isn't the china we picked out...</p>
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<p>Monica: I know! After you left the store I chose different ones.</p>
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<p>Chandler: Why?</p>
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<p>Monica: well, no offense honey, but your taste is a little feminine for
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me.</p>
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<p>Chandler: Oh suddenly flowers are feminine?</p>
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<p>Phoebe: Hey everybody! Happy thanksgiving!</p>
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<p>Monica, Chandler, Joey: Hey...Happy Thanksgiving!</p>
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<p>Joey: Phoebs! [Does a "Come here!" Action]</p>
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<p>Phoebe: Hey what's going on, Joe?</p>
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<p>Joey: Listen, I...i...i... need a good lie.</p>
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<p>Phoebe: Oh...ok..How about the whole man walking on the moon thing? Y'know?
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You can.. you can see the strings people!</p>
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<p>Joey: No..nonono...I need a good lie to explain why I wasn't at the work
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thing today.</p>
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<p>Phoebe: Oo. Honey, you stink at lying.</p>
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<p>Joey: Wha? I do not!</p>
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<p>Phoebe: Oh really? Let me ask you something. Yesterday at the coffeehouse, I
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went to the bathroom, and when I came back, my muffin was gone. Who took it?</p>
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<p>Joey: Somebody opened the door...to the coffeehouse, and a, Raccoon
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(emphasizes), came running in and went straight for your muffin I said "Hey!
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Don't eat that! That's Phoebe's!" and he said...[pauses for a while...realizing
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how stupid it sounds] He said "Joey, you stink at lying". What am I going to
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do?</p>
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<p>Phoebe: Don't worry, don't worry. We'll come up with a good lie. I'll help
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you practice it.</p>
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<p>Joey: Oh that'd be great. That'd be great. Thank you.</p>
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<p>Phoebe: Sure. What was the work thing?</p>
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<p>[Joey thinks for a while and rolls up his right sleeve]</p>
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<p>Phoebe: Pick up grandma at the airport?</p>
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<p>Joey: Ohhh man! [Covers his eyes and bends down]</p>
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<p>[Scene- In Ross' and Rachel's apartment. Amy is using the hair straightener,
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Ross is drinking something and Rachel is putting <br>the baby back in the
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cot.]</p>
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<p>Rachel: Oh she's precious...</p>
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<p>Amy: Do you ever worry she'll get your real nose?</p>
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<p>Rachel: Amy...Yes I do, I really do. [Reaches out toward Ross and he grabs
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her hand]</p>
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<p>[Handphone rings]</p>
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<p>Amy: Hello? Yeah! Hang on, one second. [covers mouthpiece with hand] Can I
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take this upstairs?</p>
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<p>Ross: Sure! We don't live there but...</p>
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<p>Amy: Seriously? It's just these rooms? I..thought you were a doctor.</p>
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<p>Rachel: Yeah, no Ross has a PhD.</p>
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<p>Amy: Ewwww!</p>
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<p>[Amy walks away toward the back rooms]</p>
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<p>Rachel: God! She is...unbelievable!</p>
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<p>Ross: I know! I mean a PhD is just as good as an MD.</p>
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<p>Rachel: Yeah, oh sure Ross yeah! If I have a heart attack at a restaurant, I
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want you there with your fossil brush!</p>
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<p>[Amy storms out]</p>
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<p>Amy: Stupid thanksgiving!</p>
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<p>Rachel: What? What? What happened?</p>
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<p>Amy: My boyfriend cancelled on me. I mean I, I finally find a real
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relationship someone that I can spend this day with, and then his WIFE comes
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back into town. I swear, it's, it's, not even worth dating married guys.</p>
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<p>Ross: Don't say that!</p>
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<p>Amy: I was so looking forward to this. It was going to be such a beautiful
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Thanksgiving. We were going to have sushi...[Amy on the verge of crying]</p>
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<p>Rachel: Oh Amy...don't cry. Erm. Ross? Could I talk to you in private?</p>
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<p>Ross: Sure you wanna go upstairs? Or...</p>
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<p>[Both of them walk into the kitchen]</p>
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<p>Rachel: Erm look. I was thinking, if it's ok with Monica, I would like to
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invite Amy, to Thanksgiving.</p>
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<p>Ross: You know I think that's a great idea. It'll be like the pilgrims being
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in the Indian's syphillis.</p>
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<p>Rachel: Look, I know she's a little tough to take...but she has no where else
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to go. And she's my sister. Alright? And she's Emma's aunt? And I'd like them to
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bond...</p>
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<p>Ross: Ok...fine. But I don't want them bonding too much. I don't want her
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telling Emma she needs a nose job.</p>
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<p>Rachel: Well! Ross, you know what? She may need one we're just going to have
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to make our peace with that.</p>
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<p>[Scene-Monica and Chandler's apartment. Ross, Rachel and Amy are coming
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in.]</p>
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<p>Rachel: Hi!!</p>
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<p>Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey: Hey!</p>
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<p>Rachel: Hey you guys! This is my sister Amy...This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe
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and you know Mon!</p>
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<p>Amy: Oh my god! You're on Days of Our Lives!</p>
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<p>Joey: Yeah!</p>
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<p>Amy: Wow! They must put alot of make-up on you.</p>
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<p>Joey(expression turns from happy to sad): Happ, Happy Thanksgiving. [He walks
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away as Chandler pats his back.]</p>
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<p>Ross(to Monica): Hey, hey.</p>
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<p>Monica: Hi. [They exchange pecks on the cheek]</p>
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<p>Monica(To Amy): So welcome! Is this the first time you're seeing Emma?</p>
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<p>Amy: Yeah, I thi, think so. (To Phobe who's standing behind Monica) It's nice
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to meet you Emma.(Sticks her hand out).</p>
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<p>Phoebe(SHakes her hand): Phoe-be! [Articulating]</p>
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<p>Amy: Ooo! That's a funny noise!</p>
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<p>[After a few moments of awkward silence, Monica leads Amy away.]</p>
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<p>Joey: Phoebs! I still need some help here.</p>
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<p>Phoebe: Oh! Right ok. Erm...ok..So it's not just the lie you tell, but it's
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the way you tell it for example, if you look down on the ground when you're
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talking, people know you're lying.</p>
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<p>Joey: Oh...(nodding)I don't know why this is so hard for me...y'know what I
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mean? Lying is basically just acting, and I am a terrific actor!(Smirks)</p>
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<p>Phoebe: You are a (looks down suddenly) terrific actor!</p>
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<p>Amy: Hey! Where's the baby?</p>
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<p>Rachel: Oh we just put her down for a nap.</p>
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<p>Amy: Listen, I was just thinking. You know what would be incredible? If you
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guys died!</p>
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<p>Ross: Thank you Amy!</p>
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<p>Amy: No, no, then I would get the baby! I mean you know, it'd be just like a
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movie, like at first I wouldn't know what to do with her, then I would rise to
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the occasion, and then I get a make-over and then I get married?</p>
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<p>Phoebe(Clapping): That's a great movie! (Joey nods along)</p>
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<p>Amy: Now listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything, cos you know,
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you'd be dead. But, I was thinking about changing her name...I'm just not really
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a big fan of Emily.</p>
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<p>Ross: Emma.</p>
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<p>Amy(To Phoebe): Emma. Ross wants you.</p>
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<p>Phoebe: PHOE-BE!</p>
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<p>Amy(Whispering to Ross and Rachel): Why does she keep making that noise?</p>
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<p>[Monica and Chandler walk behind the couch and listens.]</p>
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<p>Rachel: Honey, I don't know how to tell you this but, erm...but if something
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were to happen to Ross or myself...[Both of them knock on the wooden
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table]Erm...You wouldn't get the baby.</p>
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<p>Amy: Well, who would?</p>
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<p>Ross: Well, we haven't officially asked them yet, but, we would want Monica
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and Chandler.</p>
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<p>Chandler: I can't believe you want us to raise Emma!</p>
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<p>Monica: Yeah, Oh my god..I'm so moved.</p>
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<p>Amy: I don't believe this. Hold on a second. You guys die...and I don't get
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your baby???</p>
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<p>Rachel: Amy, see, we're alot closer to Monica and Chandler. We see them
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everyday, and truthfully, honey, you don't seem very connected to the baby.</p>
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<p>Amy: Connected? I mean...To what? She's a lump!</p>
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<p>Chandler: You know guys, I gotta say this, this means so much to me. That
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you'd trust me, with your child...I mean, we all know that Monica and I have
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been trying to have a baby of our own, and I've had my doubts about my skills as
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a father, but...that you two....that you two...</p>
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<p>Amy: This guy? Seriously? (Points at Chandler)</p>
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<p>[Scene-Monica and Chandler's apartment, later on.]</p>
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<p>Monica: Ok...it's time for dinner! Erm...everyone, we're using our fancy
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china, and erm, it's very expensive...so pleaaase be careful.</p>
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<p>[Ross takes up a plate and fiddles with it.]</p>
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<p>Ross: Whoa.....whoa......[Laughs, then almost drops the plate but catches it.
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His expression turns serious.] Whoa!</p>
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<p>Monica: Ok er...just to be clear, comedy with the plates, will not be
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well-received. [Monica pinches Ross' arm. Ross flinches.]</p>
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<p>[They all settle down and begin to eat.]</p>
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<p>Joey: Hey!! How come my plate is less fancy than everyone elses? Do you not
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trust me with the fancy plate?</p>
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<p>Monica: No!!! Honey that's...that's a special plate! See, it's a game!
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Whoever gets that plate, wins!</p>
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<p>Joey(appearing very proud): I can't believe I won! (Phoebe smiles at him)</p>
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<p>Amy: Y'know, this is such a slap in the face. I mean, I'm your sister, and
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you'd give your baby to these....strangers over me.</p>
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<p>Rachel: Monica, is Ross' sister.</p>
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<p>Amy: No....Ross' sister was really fat.</p>
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<p>Monica: That was me.</p>
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<p>Amy: er...No. She was this really dorky girl in High School, who used to
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follow Rachel around like a puppy...</p>
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<p>Rachel: Amy!! You've GOT to stop doing that.</p>
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<p>[Amy picks up the fork and begins to violently cut her food. Grating sounds
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can be heard.]</p>
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<p>Monica: Ok...listen er...I know that you're having a little bit of a family
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crisis but you don't have to take it out on the plates! In fact I think, that,
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everyone, should erm...cut their food like this! (Proceeds to cut a turkey
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drumstick in mid-air over the plate) Now, see? This way you protect the plates,
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and let's face it. You have fun.</p>
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<p>Amy: Ok, how bout this. If you guys die, and the crazy plate lady dies...THEN
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do I get the baby.</p>
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<p>Chandler: No...if crazy plate lady...[catches himself in mid-sentence] If
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Monica dies...then...I would get Emma...right? </p>
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<p>Rachel: Well, actually....</p>
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<p>Chandler: Actually what?</p>
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<p>Ross: Er...it's just that in THAT case...then erm...Emma would go to my
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parents.</p>
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<p>Chandler: What??!</p>
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<p>Amy: Hurts doesn't it? (Chandler nods)</p>
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<p>Joey: Er... Who has to die for me to get her?</p>
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<p></p>
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<p>[Scene-Half-way into the Thanksgiving meal.]</p>
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<p>Chandler: So, if Monica's not around, I'm not good enough to raise Emma?</p>
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<p>Ross: No, that's not what we are saying...</p>
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<p>Joey: Yeah! He's lying he looked down! (Phoebe nods in agreement)</p>
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<p>Chandler: What...what is wrong with me? Am I, am I incompetent? Because I
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managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you!</p>
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<p>Rachel: Honey, you're taking this the wrong way. We think you're going to be
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a wonderful parent! It's just that, you're more the...y'know, fun parent.</p>
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<p>Ross: Yeah! And we wanna make sure that Emma also has someone like Monica,
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who's more of a disciplinarian...someone who can be firm, and strict.</p>
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<p>Monica: That's not how you see me is it?</p>
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<p>Phoebe: No, you're all about the fun. (Phoebe is cutting her food like Monica
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told everyone to)</p>
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<p>Chandler: Look, I may not know alot about babies, but you really think I'm
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not capable?</p>
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<p>Ross: No...you both are equally capable. It's just that you're strongest,
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when you're together.</p>
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<p>Chandler: Ok, so if we both had Emma, and I die [knocks fist on table] she'd
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have to give her up.</p>
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<p>Ross: Sure! Monica would have to give her up.</p>
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<p>Joey: I lie better than that right? (Phoebe gives Joey a "of course!"
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look)</p>
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<p>Chandler: So...so let me get this straight. So my two friends die, I get
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Emma, then my wife dies, then Emma the one-tiny-ray-of-hope left in my life,
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gets taken away from me?</p>
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<p>Phoebe(Clapping): THERE'S your movie! (Joey nods in agreement)</p>
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<p><br>[Scene: Outside the apartment. Chandler is sitting on the steps. Monica
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opens the door]</p>
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<p>Monica: Hey...there you are. You disappeared after dinner.</p>
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<p>Chandler: Oh, did somebody miss me? Is there a child to raise poorly?</p>
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<p>Monica: Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about! I mean it's
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not like they're so responsible. Emma as a product of a bottle of Murlo and a
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five-year-old condom.</p>
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<p>Chandler: Y'know but they're right. I'm not a strong father-figure and I
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never will be. </p>
|
||
<p>Monica: No....You learn these things. You grow into it.</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: Yeah, but it's not who I am. Everything they said is exactly why I
|
||
was worried about having a kid. And it's true! And, look, everybody knows
|
||
it.</p>
|
||
<p>Monica: I don't know it! I want to have a kid with you because I think you're
|
||
going to be an amazing dad. At the fun parts and at the hard parts.</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: Oh yeah, well, can you picture me saying, "Go to your room! You're
|
||
grounded!"</p>
|
||
<p>Monica: Can you hear me say you're grounded?</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: You said that to me last week.</p>
|
||
<p>Monica: How hard is it? No shoes on the furniture!</p>
|
||
<p>[Scene-In Monica and Chandler's apartment. Amy is sitting away from Rachel.
|
||
Joey and Phoebe are setting the table for <br>dessert.]</p>
|
||
<p>Joey: Argh. The producer from Days Of Our Life left me a message on the
|
||
machine asking why I wasn't at the parade! They say everybody is very pissed off
|
||
at me and they all got to meet Santa! [Whining]</p>
|
||
<p>Phoebe: It's ok. I thought of the perfect lie for you. It's easy to remember
|
||
and it doesn't invite alot of questions. You weren't at the parade, because you
|
||
had a family emergency.</p>
|
||
<p>Joey: Oh...I like that! Yeah! I wasn't at the parade because I had a family
|
||
emergency.</p>
|
||
<p>Phoebe: Ooo...What happened?</p>
|
||
<p>Joey: Er...My sister's raccoon came.....</p>
|
||
<p>Phoebe[cutting in]: No! Nothing with the raccoon!!</p>
|
||
<p>[Monica and Chandler come in]</p>
|
||
<p>Monica: Wha...wait what are you doing?</p>
|
||
<p>Joey: Setting the table.</p>
|
||
<p>Phoebe: I thought it might be nice to use the fancy china for dessert
|
||
too.</p>
|
||
<p>Monica: Oh..How nice! Maybe later we can all go blow our noses on my wedding
|
||
dress</p>
|
||
<p>Ross: Hey dude, you ok? Sorry bout before. </p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: No, no that's ok. You're totally right I don't know anything about
|
||
disciplining a child. But...you did hurt my feelings...so, I want you to know
|
||
that if I die, you don't get Joey. </p>
|
||
<p>[Amy walks to the couch and sits next to Rachel]</p>
|
||
<p>[Makes a throaty sound twice. On the second time, Rachel looks annoyed.]</p>
|
||
<p>Amy: In case you haven't noticed, I'm not talking to you.</p>
|
||
<p>[Rachel makes a long throaty sound, imitating Amy's]</p>
|
||
<p>Amy: You know, this is...this is classic Rachel.</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Oh yeah...yeah, right. Remember in high school, when I died, and
|
||
didn't give you my baby? </p>
|
||
<p>Amy: This, might be my one chance to have a child, Rachel. I mean, you know
|
||
that I have been so busy focussing on my career...</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel [cutting in]: What? What career???</p>
|
||
<p>Amy: Erm...I'm a decorator?? [sarcastic]</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: You decorate dad's office and now you're a decorator? Ok! I went to
|
||
the Zoo yesterday...now I'm a koala bear!</p>
|
||
<p>Amy: Why can't you ever be supportive? </p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Suppor...You wanna talk supportive? You didn't even come and visit me
|
||
when I was in the hospital having the baby! </p>
|
||
<p>Amy: Oh yeah? Well, you didn't come to see me in the hospital when I was
|
||
getting my lips done! </p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: I did the FIRST time! </p>
|
||
<p>[Gets up from the couch and walks to the dining table]</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: And...and you know what? You wanna know why I'm not giving Emily to
|
||
you? </p>
|
||
<p>Ross: Emma.</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: OH! Whoose side are you on!/ I'm not giving you Emma because there is
|
||
no way, you could handle the responsibility of a child.</p>
|
||
<p>Amy: Well, how hard could it be? You do it.</p>
|
||
<p>Joey: Ooooooooohoohooo.......[realizes it is the wrong time and looks away,
|
||
at his shoes.]</p>
|
||
<p>Amy: Do I know why you don't want me to have the baby? Because you don't want
|
||
me to be happy! You have ALWAYS been jealous of me.</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Jealous of what? Of your lack of responsibility? Your...Your
|
||
inmaturity? Your total disregard for other people's feelings? </p>
|
||
<p>Amy: Er...To name a few!</p>
|
||
<p>[Rachel looks exasperated]</p>
|
||
<p>Amy: Y'know, you're just, you've always been like this. You just...you had to
|
||
have everything and I couldn't have anything. Like in junior high, when you
|
||
stole Timmy from me...I mean do you even realize how much that hurt me?</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Timmy was my boyfriend! And you made out with him!!</p>
|
||
<p>Amy: Oh come on, that was twenty years ago, get over it.</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Oh god! I cannot believe...i cannot believe that i invited you here
|
||
today! </p>
|
||
<p>Amy: Yeah, y'know what I cannot believe? That my so-called sister, gets a
|
||
thirty percent discount from Ralph Lauren and I still have to pay retail? </p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Hahah......Ahhahah...It's forty-five!</p>
|
||
<p>Amy: You...bitch. </p>
|
||
<p>[Rachel looks proud of herself]</p>
|
||
<p>Amy: You just think you're so perfect. With your new baby, and your...your
|
||
small apartment. </p>
|
||
<p>[Ross on hearing this, throws a napkin angriliy on the table]</p>
|
||
<p>Amy: Well, let me tell you something. Your baby? Isn't even that cute. </p>
|
||
<p>[An audible intake of breath from everyone. Joey's eyes widen.]</p>
|
||
<p>Ross: Too far Amy. Too far. </p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: You take that back.</p>
|
||
<p>Amy: No! </p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Take it back!</p>
|
||
<p>Amy: NO! What are you going to do? Make me?</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Hey...man! I work out! </p>
|
||
<p>Amy: So do I!</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: I do karates.</p>
|
||
<p>Amy: I do Yoga.</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Bring it on!</p>
|
||
<p>[Amy pushes Rachel]</p>
|
||
<p>Monica: Put the plates back in the boxes! Put the plates back in the
|
||
boxes!</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Did you just push me? </p>
|
||
<p>Amy: Uh yeah! I think I did.</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Alright that's it!</p>
|
||
<p>[Rachel pushes Amy back]</p>
|
||
<p>Monica: Forget the bubble wrap! There isn't time! </p>
|
||
<p>[Rachel and Amy begin slapping each others hands.]</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Crazy crazy crazy crazy! [She says this while messing up Amy's
|
||
hair]</p>
|
||
<p>[They go back to slapping each others hands. Rachel grabs Amy's head under
|
||
her armpit]</p>
|
||
<p>Phoebe: Oh my god! Shouldn't we stop this? </p>
|
||
<p>Joey: What are you? Out of your mind? Let's toss some Jell-O on them!</p>
|
||
<p>[Amy spits on Rachel's hands]</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Ew! Ew! Gross gross!</p>
|
||
<p>[Rachel stops Amy by holding onto her forehead. Amy's hands swing randomly
|
||
infront, unable to reach Rachel. They back up to the table and Rachel
|
||
accidentally pushes one of the plates, smashing it. Monica on seeing this, grows
|
||
weak in the knees. Ross supports her. Chandler puts a box of plates on a
|
||
chair]</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: Alright! That is it! This is our apartment and you cannot behave
|
||
this way. Now if you can't act your age, then you shouldn't be here at all. Now,
|
||
those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out...But
|
||
they're very important to Monica...And I want you to apologize to her right now.
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p>Amy: I'm sorry.</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Mon...I'm so sorry.</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: Ok...That's better. Now I want you to apologize to each other, and
|
||
mean it.</p>
|
||
<p>Amy & Rachel: Sorry. </p>
|
||
<p>Chandler(Whispering): By the way, that fight was totally arousing.</p>
|
||
<p>Ross: Dude, well done! You know what? If I die, and Rachel dies, and Monica
|
||
dies, you can totally take care of Emma. </p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: Oh yeah? Well, thanks! </p>
|
||
<p>Ross: So, so, now do I get Joey? </p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: Ok...but you should know, he eats five times a day and shoves
|
||
pennies up his nose. </p>
|
||
<p>[Ross looks thoughtful, and walks off. Monica is seen sweeping up the
|
||
plate]</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Are you ok Mon? </p>
|
||
<p>Monica: Uh huh. These things happen. I mean it's just a plate, it's not like
|
||
somebody died.</p>
|
||
<p>Phoebe: It's alright...you can mourn.</p>
|
||
<p>Monica (Through tears): Thank you! It was so beautiful! </p>
|
||
<p>[Gets up and passes the dustpan to Rachel]</p>
|
||
<p>Monica: I'm going to go to Joey's and get pies. </p>
|
||
<p>Joey: Actually, not pies, it's just pie. </p>
|
||
<p>Monica: I don't care. Oh my god, I've lost the will to scold.</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Look, Amy...I got a little out-of-control over there. Erm...and I'm
|
||
sorry. You're my sister and erm...if it really means that much to you...</p>
|
||
<p>Amy: So you're going to give me the baby? </p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: No, I was going to let you use my Ralph Lauren discount.</p>
|
||
<p>Amy: You are not going to regret this! </p>
|
||
<p>[They embrace. Emma cries]</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: She needs changing...</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: Oh no no! I'll get her. I'm super-confident, totally responsible
|
||
and fourth in line to raise Emma./ I'll be right there Emma! Just let me get my
|
||
trusty diaper bag here.</p>
|
||
<p>[The diaper bag's strap hooks onto the chair where the plates are and falls,
|
||
breaking all the plates. Chandler looks around.]</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: Well, what do you know? I guess, I'll be the one who dies
|
||
first.</p>
|
||
<p>[Ending credits]</p>
|
||
<p>[Scene-Chandler is frantically taping the box of broken plates over and
|
||
over.]</p>
|
||
<p>Phoebe: Hey. Does Monica know about her broken plates yet? </p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: Nope.</p>
|
||
<p>Phoebe: Broke em all huh?</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: Yup.</p>
|
||
<p>Phoebe: You going to tell her?</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: Nope.</p>
|
||
<p>[Monica walks toward the dining table]</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: Hey! So, I'm gonna put the plates back. Y'know I think you're
|
||
right...I don't think we should use these plates again for a long time.</p>
|
||
<p>Monica: Like only if the Queen comes?</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: Maybe not even then!</p>
|
||
<p>[Joey comes in]</p>
|
||
<p>Joey: Hey! I did it! I called my producer, I told him I had a family
|
||
emergency, he totally bought it. Thanks for teaching me how to lie Phoebs.</p>
|
||
<p>Phoebe: No problem. Next week, stealing!</p>
|
||
<p>[Chandler walks off with the box of plates.]</p>
|
||
<p>Monica: Bye plates!</p>
|
||
<p>Joey: Oh...you told her you broke all the plates huh? </p>
|
||
<p>[Chandler stares at Joey, and walks back quickly, keeping his eyes locked on
|
||
Joey]</p>
|
||
<p>Monica: What?! Something happened with the plates?</p>
|
||
<p>[Joey's eyes widen]</p>
|
||
<p>Joey: Er...(Looks down) Yeah...this er...raccoon came in and..er..[makes an
|
||
action describing the path of the raccoon]</p>
|
||
<p>[End]</p>
|
||
<p></p>
|
||
<p></p>
|
||
<p><br>Note 1: This is my first time transcribing a show, mistakes have probably
|
||
been made, so if there's a problem, contact the webmaster of the site this is
|
||
put up on, and he'll make the changes.</p>
|
||
<p><br>Copyright Issues:</p>
|
||
<p>This is only to be put up on Friends - Greatest Sitcom
|
||
(http://www.geocities.com/friends_greatestsitcom) and whoever wants to link it
|
||
should contact its webmaster. Distribution of this document for any profit is
|
||
prohibited.</p>
|
||
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