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<!-- saved from url=(0055)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season6/613towrs.htm -->
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<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
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<title>The One With Rachel’s Sister</title>
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<body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" link="#008000" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
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<h1 align="center">The One With Rachel’s Sister</h1>
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<hr>
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<p>Teleplay by: Sherry Bilsing & Ellen Plummer<br>
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Story by: Seth Kurland<br>
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Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
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<hr>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross their bills.]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay Rach, that muffin and espresso, $4.50. Ross, double latte, $2.75.
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Chandler, coffee and a scone, $4.25. And Pheebs, herbal tea, $1.25. So, all together
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that’s (pauses to figure the total) $12.75.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> This coming from the man who couldn’t split our 80 dollar phone
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bill in half.</p>
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<p>(A good-looking woman approaches.)</p>
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<p><b>Woman:</b> Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Woman:</b> How much do I owe you for the muffin and the latte?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh that’s on the house courtesy of Joey Tribbiani.</p>
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<p><b>Woman:</b> Oh great! Well, tell him thanks. And since uh, Joey seems like such a
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nice guy, maybe we could go on a date sometime?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, he’s not used to women being so forward with him; but uh, I
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good check with him—He says it’s okay. (She hands him her card.) Great! Thanks!
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Bye-bye!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey Joey, how come our stuff isn’t free?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> It will be when you look like that in a tight skirt! This is great!
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I’m getting more dates than ever!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Wait a minute, you’re only giving free stuff away to the pretty
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girls?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah Joey that is so gross!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> How about a scone on the house baby?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (giggles) I’m pretty.</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone but Monica is there playing <i>Monopoly</i>.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey does anyone have any gum?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh I do! (She grabs her huge purse and starts rummaging through it and
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taking out various items in a futile search for the gum.) Oh, y’know what? No.
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(Pause) Wait a second. (She removes a bag filled with water that has a goldfish swimming
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in it.) I know it’s in here somewhere.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Y’know what? I’m good! I’m good!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (entering) Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (congested) Ugh, they sent me home. They said I can’t work if
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I’m sick.</p>
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<p><strong>All: </strong>Ohh!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I’m so sorry you’re sick.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I’m not sick!! I don’t get sick! Getting sick is for weaklings
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and for pansies! </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Honey, no one thinks you’re a pansy, but we do think you need a
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tissue. (She notices something hanging from Monica’s nose, as does Joey.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (wiping her nose) I have not been sick in over three years! (Sneezes.) </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I’m gonna grab you some tissue.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I don’t need a tissue! I’m fine-d! </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> When you put a ‘D’ at the end of ‘Fine’ you’re
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not fine.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I’m fine-d. I’m fine-d! Y’know, it’s a really hard
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word to say.</p>
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<p>(There’s a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure
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that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes?</p>
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<p>(A woman enters.)</p>
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<p><b>Woman:</b> Hi, is Rachel here? I’m her sister.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh my God, Jill!</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> Oh my God, Rachel!</p>
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<p>(They run and hug each other.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh my God, introduce us!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> This is Chandler. (Points at him.)</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> And you know Monica and Ross!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hi Jill.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> And that’s Phoebe (points), and that’s Joey.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, (in the Joey voice) how you doin’?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Don’t!! (Joey backs away frightened.) (To Jill) Honey, what are you
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doing here?!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (To Ross) Which-which sister is this? Is this the spoiled one or
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that’s bitter?</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> (To Rachel) Daddy cut me off.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Never mind, I got it.</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> And y’know what I said to him? "I’m gonna hire a lawyer and
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I’m gonna sue you and take all your money. Then I’m gonna cut you off!"</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Wow! What did he say?</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> That he wouldn’t pay for my lawyer! Then he told me to come here and
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learn about the value of money from the one daughter he’s actually proud off.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh! Did you hear that?! My dad’s proud of me! My dad’s proud
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of me.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Rach? (Points to Jill.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh yeah, sorry. Wait honey, so what did you do that made dad cut you
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off?</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> Okay, I bought a boat.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> You bought a boat?</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> Yeah but it wasn’t for me, it was for a friend.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Boy did <b>we</b> make friends with the wrong sister! (Rachel glares
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at him.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that could’ve ever
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happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did
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it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! I’m the only daughter dad is
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proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna get a
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job, you’re gonna get an apartment, and then I’ll help you and you can stay with
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us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Of course, yeah!</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> Oh, that’s so great! Okay, I’m really gonna do this! I
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don’t know how to thank you guys.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ooh, I like cards.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is working as Phoebe and Ross are sitting on the couch.]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (to a customer) Are you all finished here?</p>
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<p><strong>Customer: </strong>Yes.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Great! (Joey takes his cookie and finishes it.)</p>
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<p><b>Gunther:</b> Okay, here are the tips for this morning. Jen gets 50, 50 for me, and
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Joey owes eight dollars.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> What?!</p>
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<p><b>Gunther:</b> For all the free food you gave away.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Well if it’s free food, how come you’re charging me for it?</p>
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<p><b>Gunther:</b> We don’t give anything away unless it’s someone’s
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birthday.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, what if they came in third in a modeling contest?</p>
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<p><b>Gunther:</b> No!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (to a woman who came in third in a modeling contest) Sorry! (He grabs her
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muffin away and returns it to the serving tray.)</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> (entering, carrying a bunch of shopping bags) I just had the hardest day.
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Those bags are so heavy. (Sets them down.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Jill, how did you pay for all this? I thought your dad took away your
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credit card.</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> Oh please, I memorized those numbers when I was 15. But look at all the
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cool make-it-on-my-own stuff I got! (Holds up a red sweater) This is my "Please, hire
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me" sweater. (Holds up a pair of black pants) And these are my, "Don’t you
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want to rent me this apartment?" pants. </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I don’t think charging new clothes too your dad qualifies as making
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it on your own.</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> Oh, Mr. Scientist has to get all technical!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Seriously, I don’t Rachel’s gonna think it’s a good idea.</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> So who made her queen of the world?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I would <b>love</b> that job!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (entering) Hey! What’s goin’ on?</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (notices Jill’s bags) Jill! Did you shop?!</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> No! They did! (Points to Phoebe and Ross)</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe and <b>Ross:</b></b> Yeah, we went shopping!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> You went shopping?! What, and then you just came in here and paraded it
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right under Jill’s nose when you know she’s trying to quit. Wow, you guys are
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terrible!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Sorry Jill.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Sorry-sorry Jill.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What’d you get?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh well, all right, I got (Ross hands her a bag) (To Ross) thank you, I
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got uh, this y’know "I want a job sweater." (Holds up the same sweater.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> And, and then I got uh, these are apartment pants.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Apartment pants?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, you never heard of them?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> No, of course, of course I’ve heard of them! Ross, what did you
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get?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Huh? Oh, I got this—(Holds up this pink frilly thing)—this!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> A pajmena?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah! Oh, I-I love this babies!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Really?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Ross, wants a pajmena?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> It’s a rug. (Jill winces.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Jill?</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> (covers her eyes and starts crying) I’m sorry Rachel, I’m
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sorry…</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, come on! You think that’s gonna work on me?! I invented that!</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> Right! But, I <b>am</b> sorry.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> All right, it’s okay. One little setback is okay, just don’t
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let it happen again, all right? Now since daddy paid for all this stuff, I <b>should</b>
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take it all away. But I’m just gonna take the-the pajmena. (Ross hands it to her.)
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And the uh, and the uh pants. Y’know what, I’m just gonna take it all away,
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‘cause that way you’ll just really learn the lesson. Okay? All righty, I’m
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gonna run a couple of errands and I will see you at dinner. (Leaves with all of
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Jill’s stuff.)</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> She took all my stuff.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah. Everything but, the little blue one. (Holds it up for her.)</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> (gasps) That’s the best one! Oh my God, (hugs him) thank you so much!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Well. Hey…</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> Oh my gosh, that was so lame. Like a pajmena could be a rug!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh yeah, how about you and the, (mimics her fake cry) "I’m
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sorry!"</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> (hits him) Shut up! I did not sound like that at all!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What about, what about when I said y’know about the apartment
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pants, how dumb was I?</p>
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<p>(They both look at her.)</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> Were you this cute in high school?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh stop.</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> No you stop!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> No, you stop!</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> You stop!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (gets up and sits between them) Okay-okay, why don’t I sit here and
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you’ll both stop it!</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still very sick and is entering the living
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room from the bathroom wearing a robe. Chandler is reading a magazine.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, so what do you, what do you want to do? Let’s do something
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crazy!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I know, let’s rest and drink lots of fluids. (Holds up a glass of
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orange juice.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, I’ll rest. But y’know if I’m going to bed, then
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you’re coming with me.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> That would be impossible to resist if you weren’t all drippy
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here. (Points to his nose.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (wiping her nose) Are you saying that you don’t wanna get with
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this? (Tries to do a little sexy body rub, but it doesn’t work all that well with the
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big robe.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, I don’t you should say that even when you’re healthy.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (in a sexy voice) Come on. (Coughs loudly.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Don’t take this personally okay? It’s just that I just
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can’t have sex with a sick person.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I’m with you Chandler! I mean I can’t have sex with a sick
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person either, that’s disgusting! But I’m not sick! Let me prove it to you. We
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are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> That’s the thing, see I would like to stay in the pribe of
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mwha-ah-libe.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is putting away her new clothes as Phoebe enters.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What’s up?!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Umm, I think there’s something you should maybe know.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, it’d better not be about the apartment pants, because I just
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pitched the idea to my boss at <i>Ralph Lauren</i> and she <b>loved</b> it.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No. No. It’s just I was umm, I was with Ross and Jill after you
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left and umm, I’m pretty sure I saw a little spark between them.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah I mean it’s probably nothing, but I just wanted to warn you
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that there might be something there.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> With Ross and Jill?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> With Ross and my sister?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> With my sister Jill and my ex-boyfriend Ross?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh there is no way.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay then.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I don’t really like it
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when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isn’t that like incest or something?!
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Oh my God, and they’re gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this
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is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I can’t stop it! I can’t—I
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don’t own Ross! Y’know? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that
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she wants to do! And oh my God, I can’t believe Ross is marrying my little sister,
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this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to
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me.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> But <b>great</b> news about the apartment pants, huh?</p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving the bill to the same beautiful woman from before.]</p>
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||
<p><b>Joey:</b> That’ll be $3.85.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Woman:</b> What do you mean? Yesterday you said I was too pretty to pay for stuff!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> It’s just I can’t because my manager said I… (Gets an idea)
|
||
(Starts singing) "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear
|
||
Annie…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Woman:</b> Amy!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (still singing) "…Amy! Happy birthday to you!"</p>
|
||
<b>
|
||
|
||
</b><p><b>A Male Customer:</b> Hey, that’s weird, today’s my birthday too!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, not it here it isn’t.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jill:</b> (entering) Sorry I’m late, what’s up?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (on the couch) Oh hi! Y’know, I just wanted to see if there were
|
||
any leads on the old job front.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jill:</b> Oh no! But I just walked past three sales and I didn’t go in. How
|
||
strong am I?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> That is great. Hey, y’know who doesn’t have to job hunt? Ross.
|
||
He works at the university. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jill:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh so you know that, you guys talked about that, so you get along, so
|
||
you think you’re gonna go out?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jill:</b> Me go out with Ross?! No! God no! What would make you think that?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I just, Phoebe, said y’know thought she saw something between you
|
||
guys.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jill:</b> No! I mean he’s nice.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jill:</b> He’s the kind of guy you’re friends with, y’know? But
|
||
he’s not the kind of guy you date. He’s the kind of guy <b>you’d</b> date
|
||
because you did. Me, not so much.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh not-not so much. Umm, what-what do you, what do you mean is there
|
||
something wrong with Ross?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jill:</b> Oh no-no-no, he’s just I don’t know, he’s just a little
|
||
bookish.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Are-are you saying he’s a geek?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jill:</b> You think so too?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No! No I, no Ross is not a geek!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jill:</b> Fine, then let’s just say he’s not my type.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What handsome is not your type? Smart? Kind? Good kisser? What those
|
||
things aren’t on your list? Ross is a great guy! You would be lucky to be with him!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jill:</b> Well okay, if it means that much to you, then I’ll ask him out.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh no-no-no, no-no-no, that’s not what I meant.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jill:</b> No! Y’know what Rachel? You’re right, y’know he has been
|
||
really nice to me.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah but, he’s not your type.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jill:</b> Yeah but maybe that’s a good thing. Y’know I’m doing all
|
||
these different sorts of things, and maybe I should try dating a geek too!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah but, you don’t, you don’t, you don’t want to try to
|
||
much too fast. Y’know? I mean, you do remember what happened to the little girl that
|
||
tried to much too fast don’t you?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jill:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> She-she died Jill.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has fallen asleep reading a book. Monica calls
|
||
from the bedroom and wakes him up.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (still sick) Chandler!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from
|
||
the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively
|
||
on the bed. Or at least she’s trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the
|
||
robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (trying to be seductive) Calling Dr. Big, Dr. Big to the bed.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh Jeez honey, I thought, I thought you were asleep.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> How could I be asleep knowing that you were in the next room.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I was asleep. (She takes off her robe and starts to shiver) Oh no!
|
||
No-no honey! Y’know what’s sexy? Layers. Layers are sexy. And blankets are sexy.
|
||
And oh! Hot water bottles are sexy.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Come on, get into bed! I want to prove to you that I’m not sick! I
|
||
wanna make you feel, as good as I feel. (Sneezes.) </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Would you please get some rest!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I’m fine. (She goes into one of those half sneezing, half-coughing
|
||
fits that you get with a bad cold or flu.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is singing Happy Birthday to yet another good-looking woman.
|
||
Gunther is watching and is not very happy.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (singing) "Happy birthday to you!"</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Gunther:</b> You’re paying for that.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> What? No-no it’s her birthday!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Gunther:</b> You’ve sung Happy Birthday to 20 different women today!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> But it really…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Gunther:</b> You are no longer authorized to distribute birthday muffins.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Damnit! (Storms off.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering) Rach? Hi!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Did you tell your sister to ask me out?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well yeah…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh wow! I mean, wow! I mean, I-I-I think she’s cute but I-I would
|
||
never have thought of going out with her, never!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Really?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah but after you said it was okay, I figured, "Why not?!"</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh so-so not really never.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I have to say you are a much bigger person than I am. I mean after all
|
||
we’ve been through, I just—y’know I wish I had a brother to reciprocate.
|
||
Hey, if you ever want to go out with Monica, you have my blessing.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (overhearing them) Oh-ho, and mine!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still sick and is hobbling out into the living
|
||
room for some help from Chandler who’s on the couch reading.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (entering) Chandler, I think I’m sick.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Really? Struck down in the pribe of libe!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, fine I admit it! I feel terrible! Would you please rub this on my
|
||
chest? (She hands him some of that <i>Vicks Vap-O-Rub</i> to put on.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No-no-no-no-no-no-no, you are not getting me this way.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Come on! I really need your help!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No-no-no-no-no!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Fine, I’ll rub it on myself.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(To start this task, she lowers the top of her robe to reveal that she is naked from
|
||
the waist up, well at least her back is, and starts to rub on the gunk. Chandler notices
|
||
this, and has something start happening. I’ll let you fill in the blank here.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> So you’re just, kinda rubbing it on yourself?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> It’s nice.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Are you kidding me?! Is this; is this turning you on?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes! (Hangs his head in shame.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I can’t believe it! What is it? Is it the rubbing or the smell?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> It’s all very, very good. (She covers up and sits down.) So you
|
||
wanna go uh, mix it up?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Not now, I’m sick!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh come on you big faker!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What happened to your rule about never sleeping with sick people?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well that was before all the vaporizing action.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, if you really wanna have sex…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay! (Runs into the bedroom.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Worked like a charm.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Jill enters to start her date with Ross.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jill:</b> (entering) Hi!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi! Wh-what are you doing here?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jill:</b> This is where Ross and I are meeting for our date. So, what do you think?
|
||
(She spins to show Rachel the outfit she’s wearing.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, I-I don’t like it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jill:</b> Really?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> It’s kinda slutty.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jill:</b> It’s yours!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah well, I’m-I’m a slut.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jill:</b> (laughs) Me too.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering) Hi Jill!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jill:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hi (sees Rachel and forgets her name for a moment).</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Rachel.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Rachel! Well, you-you’re not at home,
|
||
you’re-you’re-you’re right here.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah I know, and I bet you thought it would be weird. But it’s not!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(There’s an awkward silence.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay. So well I’ll umm, (To Rachel) I’ll have her home by
|
||
midnight.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Rachel laughs a little too hard as Ross and Jill leave for their date. After they have
|
||
left, Rachel starts to break down.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters and walks quickly over to the window to
|
||
watch Ross’s apartment. We see that Ross’s apartment is empty.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Why aren’t you home yet?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (calling from the bathroom) Is someone there?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh yes, it’s me! Sorry!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (calling from the bathroom) What are you doing here?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Uh, I’m just, I’m just looking out your window. At-at the
|
||
view. What are you guys doing?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> We got some <i>Vap-O-Rub</i> in some places.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(We see that Ross is returning to his apartment with Jill.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (gasps) Oh, he brought her back to his apartment.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (entering with Chandler) Who? (She looks out the window at Ross’s
|
||
apartment) Is that your sister?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ugh, she <b>is</b> a slut!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> God, Ross is on a date with your sister! How weird is that?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh my God, look-look he’s taking off her clothes!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> He’s taking off her coat!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(We see that Ross is taking off Jill’s coat.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, this is just terrible. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh no it’s not, no it’s not. It’s a first date. I’m <b>sure</b>
|
||
that nothing is gonna…(as she is talking we see Ross close his drapes.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh. (Squeaks again.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Ho-oh, he’s gonna get some! (Rachel looks at him.) Of the glare
|
||
from the streetlight out of his apartment. Y’know so umm, he’s closed the drapes
|
||
there so he can have a nice, pleasant conversation with your little sister. (Pause) Well,
|
||
I’m off to bed! (Goes to bed.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>To Be Continued</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Ending Credits</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(There is no credits scene, just a preview of the next couple of episodes.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
|
||
</body></html> |