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<title>The One With Ross' Big Step Forward</title>
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<h1 align="center">The One With Ross’ Big Step Forward</h1>
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<hr>
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<p>Written by: Robert Carlock<br>
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Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:webmaster@thecfsi.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
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<hr>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is looking around the shop as Phoebe returns from getting
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some more coffee.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Phoebe?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Look at that guy by the window, wow!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> He’s awfully short and I think he’s talking to himself. And to
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be completely honest, he’s not that good in bed.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean it’s like every guy I
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see—I mean look here. (Points behind them) Look at that guy for example, I mean
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normally that’s not someone I would-would be attracted to, but right now, with the
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way I’m feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wait a second! This is about the fourth month of your pregnancy, right?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> This is completely normal, around the fourth month your hormones start
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going crazy.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Really?! So this has happened to you?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh absolutely yeah! Oh and keep in mind, now, I was carrying triplets so
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in, y’know, medical terms I was-I was thrice as randy.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Wow! This explains so much! Last weekend, I went from store to store
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sitting on Santa’s lap.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah. Yeah, I remember trying to steal a cardboard cutout of Evander
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Holyfield from a <i>Foot Locker</i>.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ah.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, y’know what? I go see my doctor tomorrow, I’ll ask her
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about this. Maybe she can give me a pill or something.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah. Yeah, that’s what you need a good…pill.</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are there as Mona enters.]</p>
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<p><b>Mona:</b> Hey! (To Joey) Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Mona:</b> Hi! Look! I got our pictures developed from Rockefeller Center.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh great! Hey-hey Joey, do you want to check out pictures of me and Mona
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ice skating?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh uh, ordinarily I would love too, but I am just swamped right now.
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(Brushes something off of his shirt and looks around, but doesn’t move from his
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chair.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey where-where are the pictures that creepy pretzel vendor took of us
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together?</p>
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<p><b>Mona:</b> Oh yeah, probably at the end. (Flips to the end.) Oh my God! He only took
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pictures of my breasts!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I’m missin’ picture time?! (Jumps over to look, Ross glares at
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him and he retreats.)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (sitting down next to Ross) Y’know she has a face Ross!</p>
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<p><b>Mona:</b> Okay. Okay, here’s a good one of us.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Wow! That is a good one! Wow, it looks like a, like a holiday card
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y’know, with the tree in the middle and the skaters and the snow.</p>
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<p><b>Mona:</b> Y’know, every year I say I’m gonna send out holiday cards and I
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never do it. Do you wanna, do you wanna send this one out together?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (pause) Together? Like-like to people?</p>
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<p><b>Mona:</b> Yeah, y’know. Happy holidays from Mona and Ross. It’ll be cute,
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okay?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay. (Not happy about it.)</p>
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<p><b>Mona:</b> Oh, I gotta get to work. So call me later?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh sure, sure.</p>
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<p><b>Mona:</b> Bye guys.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Bye.</p>
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<p>(Mona exits.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (To Ross) Congratulations! You just got married!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I know. Can you believe that?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wait, I’m-I’m sorry. What’s the big deal about a holiday
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card?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Married couples send out cards, families send out cards, people who have
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been dating for a couple of months do not send out cards! What-what is she crazy?!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey-hey-hey, hey that’s your wife you’re talking about!</p>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler’s Office, his boss Doug is entering, Monica is there as well.]</p>
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<p><b>Doug:</b> Bing! Ho! And the Bing-ette!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Honey, you remember my boss Doug right?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Yes, hi.</p>
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<p><b>Doug:</b> Hi. So good news, the divorce is final. I signed the papers this A.M.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I didn’t know you and Carol were getting divorced, I’m
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sorry.</p>
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<p><b>Doug:</b> Sorry? Finally chewed my leg out of that bear trap. Hey, congratulations
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to you guys though!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> No leg-chewing for us sir.</p>
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<p><b>Doug:</b> Oh well, give it time. So the divorce, the marriage, we’ve got a lot
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to celebrate. How about we all go out to dinner tomorrow night?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I can’t think of anything we’re doing. (Quietly) Why
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can’t I think of anything we’re doing?</p>
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<p><b>Doug:</b> Tomorrow night it is then, I should be out of court by six. They keep
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throwing these sexual harassment cases at me and I keep knocking them out of the park!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow! (Doug exits.) Just so you know,
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we’re not seeing him tomorrow. (Chandler wonders why.) I-I cannot spend another
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evening with that man. Do you remember how he behaved at our wedding?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> No.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> That’s because he wasn’t invited because of the way he behaved
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at our engagement party.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh yeah. Boy, urine cuts <b>right</b> through an ice sculpture
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doesn’t it?</p>
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<p>[Scene: Ross's Apartment, there’s a knock on the door and he opens it to Mona.]</p>
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<p><b>Mona:</b> Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Mona:</b> Hey, I went by the photo shop, take a look, here is a mockup of our card.
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What do you think?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Huh. Wow, this is great.</p>
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<p><b>Mona:</b> Now, do you think it should say, "Love Ross and Mona?"</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, we-we haven’t said that to each other yet, but I guess its okay
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to say it to other people.</p>
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<p><b>Mona:</b> How many did you want? I’m getting a hundred.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> A hundred?! Well, I-I guess I’ll take a—Mona, uh…I-I’m
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not sure about the whole uh, card thing.</p>
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<p><b>Mona:</b> Really? Why not?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Sending out a holiday card, together, I mean I just don’t know if
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we’re really quite there yet.</p>
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<p><b>Mona:</b> Oh y’know, I didn’t think of it that way. You’re right.
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You’re right. So, can I ask you a question? </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah.</p>
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<p><b>Mona:</b> Where are we?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Huh.</p>
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<p><b>Mona:</b> Y’know, like where are we? Where is this relationship going?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hmm…</p>
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<p><b>Mona:</b> I mean I love spending time with you, y’know I just—I hope
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we’re moving forward. I mean, we should probably talk about that. Don’t you
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think?</p>
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<p>(Pause.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Let’s do the card!</p>
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<p><b>Mona:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> The card! I think we’re there!</p>
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<p><b>Mona:</b> Okay. I—But I think we should still have this conversation.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Really?! I mean, even with the card?</p>
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<p>[Scene: Rachel’s Doctor’s Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse
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enters.]</p>
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<p><b>Nurse:</b> Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Nurse:</b> Just so you know, Dr. Long can’t be here today, she was called to
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the hospital, so Dr. Schiff will be seeing you.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, okay. Hey, can I ask you a question? Was it me, or-or was the guy
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who took my blood sample really cute? Y’know who I’m talking about, bald
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haircut, hairy fingers… (Stops when she realizes it was her.)</p>
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<p><b>Dr. Schiff:</b> (entering) Hi Rachel? I’m Dr. Schiff. (By the way, he’s an
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attractive man.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes, you are.</p>
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<p><b>Dr. Schiff:</b> So, how’s it going?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, really, really good. But enough about me, come on! Where-where are
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you from? What do you do?</p>
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<p><b>Dr. Schiff:</b> I’m a doctor.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Right! Right! I-I actually meant in your spare time, do you cook? Do you
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ski? Or do you just hang out with your wife or girlfriend?</p>
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<p><b>Dr. Schiff:</b> Uh, I don’t have a wife or girlfriend, but I do like to ski.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, I love to ski! How amazing is this?!</p>
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<p><b>Dr. Schiff:</b> So, are you experiencing any discomfort?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> No. I’m very comfortable.</p>
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<p><b>Dr. Schiff:</b> Any painful gas?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> No! Shoot, Dr. Schiff what kind of question is that?!</p>
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<p><b>Dr. Schiff:</b> Okay then, would you like to lie down on the table?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well would you like me to lie down on the table?</p>
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<p><b>Dr. Schiff:</b> I’m sorry, is there something going on here?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Do you feel it too?</p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh hey! So, how did your doctor’s appointment go?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, let’s see. Uh, they gave me cute doctor today and in the
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middle of the exam I put my pinky in his chin dimple.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh my God.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Why did you do that?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, remember that little problem I was having during my
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fourth month of
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pregnancy?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh yeah, the Evander Holyfield phase. Oh man you were so hard up you
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practically came on to me.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You wish.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey, I could’ve had you if I wanted you.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh yeah? Come and get it.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, even this is turning me on!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering) Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh hey! Hey Ross! Hey how’s it, how’s it going with you and
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Mona? Are you guys still together?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh yeah, yeah we’re moving forward. You’ll be getting our card!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> You and Mona are doing a holiday card together?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, we’re not just doing a card! Y’know, she-she also wants to
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have the conversation about where the relationship is going.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ugh! Women!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I know! I know! Why do you guys need to have this conversation?! Huh? I
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mean no self-respecting man would ask a woman, "So, where is this going?"</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Uh Ross? You asked me that.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? I’m not a mind reader! Besides, I
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hate those conversations. I’m horrible at them. Really! Maybe-maybe I need kind of a
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gesture. Y’know, something that says we’re moving forward without having to talk
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about it.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Like asking her to move in with you?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Smaller than that.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Making her a mixed tape?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh, bigger than that.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Give her a key to your apartment.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Whoa-hello! We were closer with the mixed tape.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> All right. Have you said, "I love you?" You could say, I love
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you.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah I-I don’t-I don’t think I’m quite there yet, but I
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could say I looove spending time with you.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, we hate that.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> That is a slap in the face.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Forget it. I-I—Y’know what? I’ll just have the
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conversation. I’ll just say I like things the way they are, and hope for the best.
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What do you think Rach?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I think, if it was a little colder in here I could see your nipples
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through that sweater.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler’s Office, Doug is entering.]</p>
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<p><b>Doug:</b> Bing! We’re all set for tonight, 8 o’clock.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh uh, as it turns out, we can’t do it. Monica has to work.</p>
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<p><b>Doug:</b> Oh, my ex-wife didn’t work, unless you call turning into her mother
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work. Fine. Tomorrow night then.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh uh well tomorrow’s no good for her either.</p>
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<p><b>Doug:</b> Oh? Why not?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> It’s the semi-finals…of her…botchy ball tournament.</p>
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<p><b>Doug:</b> What’s going on Bing? Does uh, your wife have a problem with me or
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something?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well now-now you’re just talking crazy.</p>
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<p><b>Doug:</b> So why can’t the three of us go out together?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Because uh…we-we…we split up. Monica and I split up. Hold
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me.</p>
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<p><b>Doug:</b> Good God Bing I…well I can’t say I’m altogether surprised,
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I saw the way she looked at you, and there was no love there. And the way she looked at
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me, pure lust.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Y’know what would really help me through this tough time is
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choking something. Can I choke ya?</p>
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<p><b>Doug:</b> Bing my boy, we’re gonna get you over this. Now here’s the plan,
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grab your coat, we’re going to a strip club.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh no-no-no, Monica would freak. (Doug looks at him.) But to hell with
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that bitch.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is getting Mona some coffee.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Here we go. Mona umm, I think it’s time we-we had a conversation
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about-about where things are with us.</p>
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<p><b>Mona:</b> Yeah, I-I think I suggested that.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Aw, we-we are so…(Motions that they’re connected.) So umm, well
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I-I-I like you and I-I love umm, y’know hanging out with you. And I mean-I’m
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having a lot of fun. (He pauses and thinks there might be more, but decides there
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isn’t.)</p>
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<p><b>Mona:</b> Okay.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I mean, there’s no point in spending time with someone if-if
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it’s just fun. It’s gotta be, it’s gotta be going somewhere right? So
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where-where is it going? (Pause) Ah! That’s-that’s the real question. And-and
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the answer is…is it’s going somewhere…fun. Now I-I know what you’re
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thinking, fun was fine for you like ten years ago y’know, but you’re-you’re
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not getting any younger. No I mean—No not you, not you, you—you <b>are</b>
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getting younger. I mean—you-you look like you’re getting younger by the
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second—What’s your secret?</p>
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<p><b>Mona:</b> I’m sorry, so umm, so where are we?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, well to sum up, we’re having fun, you look young.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mona:</b> Okay…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> But that’s not enough. So… So…here’s a key to my
|
||
apartment. (Hands her his key.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mona:</b> Really?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Really.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mona:</b> You don’t think this is too fast. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Ross groans no.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is telling Rachel and Monica about yet another mistake
|
||
he’s made with a woman.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You gave her a key to your apartment?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Not just a key, I gave her the only key! I am now a homeless person in a
|
||
very serious relationship.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (entering with some guy) Hey. Ooh Ross! How’d the conversation go?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh great, I live on the street.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Where?! (Ross exits.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hi! Okay, Monica, Rachel, this is my friend Roger.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><strong>Roger:</strong> Hey everybody.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hi Roger.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> So umm, I’m gonna get us some drinks. (To Rachel) Would you help me
|
||
out?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah. (They go into the kitchen.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Umm, he’s here to have sex with you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You’re welcome.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Phoebe no!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> It’s okay, he’s a virgin.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Rachel umm, I was just talking to this guy and I think he’ll have
|
||
sex with you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, okay let’s leave these two alone.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No! I do not care what my hormones are doing, I am not going to just do
|
||
it with some random guy!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Fine! Then you tell Roger because he was really looking forward to this!
|
||
(Phoebe exits.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: A Strip Club, Doug and Chandler are there.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Doug:</b> Oh Bing, look at those twin sisters dancing together. Let me buy you a lap
|
||
dance with those girls. Huh?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh that’s all right sir, and that’s just one girl.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Doug:</b> Bing—What’s this?! (Grabs his hand.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> It’s a hand. It’s a thing you use as a <i>Jack</i> and <i>Coke</i>
|
||
holder.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Doug:</b> No, it’s a wedding ring. You gotta get rid of it. We’re gonna go
|
||
to the East River right now and throw it in there!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh no-no-no!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Doug:</b> Oh yeah-yeah-yeah, y’know I did it and I felt a hell of a lot better
|
||
and if you whip it just right you might hit a seagull in the head.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Ross's Apartment, a locksmith has finished changing the locks on Ross’s
|
||
door.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, and oh I’m gonna need a bunch of extra keys. Apparently I give
|
||
them away for no reason at all.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mona:</b> (entering) Hey Ross, what’s going on? You changing the lock?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No. That guy is.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mona:</b> I don’t understand. You-you give me a key to your apartment and then
|
||
you change the lock.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><strong>Locksmith:</strong> Good luck buddy. (Exits.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mona:</b> Umm, I-I thought we were moving forward and now you’re-you’re
|
||
sending me all these mixed signals. What are you trying to tell me?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I’m trying to tell you I made you a mix tape.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mona:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I love you!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mona:</b> Ohh! (Hugs him.) And I love spending time with you. (Ross isn’t
|
||
happy.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is eating dinner as Chandler enters.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hi honey I’m home.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> From the tequila factory?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> It was awful. To get out of going to dinner with Doug I told him that
|
||
you and I split up. So then he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars, and then
|
||
when I wouldn’t give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Come here. I can breath through my mouth.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Y’know what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would
|
||
be like without you. It was like <i>It’s a Wonderful Life</i> with lap dances. Please
|
||
promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each
|
||
other for the rest of our lives.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I promise. Hey, speaking of together, how about we send out a holiday
|
||
card this year?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Ooh, I don’t know if we’re there yet.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is on the phone.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes. Hi, I’d like to order a pizza. Okay, can I ask you a question?
|
||
Is-is the cute blond guy delivering tonight? Very <i>Ambercrombie & Fitch</i>. (Joey
|
||
enters.) I’ll call you back.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Who was that?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> It’s just the pizza place.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> You hung up on the pizza place? I don’t hang up on your friends.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I’m sorry honey, I’m just having a, having a rough day.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, what’s wrong?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh you really, you really just don’t want to hear about it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Then why did I ask?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, it’s just—and this is really embarrassing—but
|
||
lately with this whole pregnancy thing I’m just finding myself…how do I put this
|
||
umm, erotically charged.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Is that college talk for horny?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah. So y’know, I have all of these feelings and I don’t know
|
||
what to do about them, because I can’t date like a normal person, which is fine
|
||
because I don’t need a relationship, I mean all I really want is one great night.
|
||
Just sex, y’know? No strings attached, no relationship, just with someone that I feel
|
||
comfortable with and who knows what he’s doing. For just one great night, I mean is
|
||
that really so…hard…to find. (Looks at Joey.) So how was your day?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Good, I uh, I saw a pretty big pigeon.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, I gotta get up early and it’s almost seven o’clock.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, I gotta, I gotta go to my room too.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, good night!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Good night. (They both enter their rooms.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Pause.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (entering) I can’t do it!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (entering) I didn’t ask you to do it!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> You’re Rachel!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You’re Joey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> You’re my friend!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Right back at ya!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> But plus, it would be wrong and weird and-and-and bad.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> And so bad. I don’t even know what you’re talking about
|
||
because I didn’t ask you to do anything!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I know!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Pause.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Do you wanna do it?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right, me neither! I was just testing you!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> That’s the end of this conversation!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> This conversation never happened!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Never happened! Good night!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Good night!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(They both go into their rooms and after a little while Rachel pokes her head into the
|
||
living room.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Get back in there! (Rachel re-enters her room and closes the door.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Closing Credits</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is there as Phoebe enters.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hi. Listen, I’m sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really
|
||
wasn’t right, and I, and I want to make it up to you, so umm, I brought you something
|
||
that I think you’ll really enjoy. (Goes into the hallway and returns carrying the
|
||
Evander Holyfield cutout.) Now, this is just a loan. Okay? I’m gonna, I’m gonna
|
||
want him back. So… (Looks at him longingly) I’m gonna go now. (Exits.) (Pause)
|
||
(Entering) I’m sorry, I thought I could do it and I can’t! (She grabs the cutout
|
||
and exits for good.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
|
||
</body></html> |