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3081 lines
89 KiB
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<!-- saved from url=(0055)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season4/423uncut.htm -->
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<title>The One With Ross's Wedding - Uncut Version</title>
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<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
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<body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" link="#008000" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
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<font size="6"><b>
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<p align="CENTER">The One With Ross's Wedding - The Uncut Version</p>
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</b></font>
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<hr>
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<font size="2">
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</font><p><font size="2"></font><font size="3">Part I Written by: Michael Borkow<br>
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Part II Teleplay by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan & Scott Silveri<br>
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Part II Story by: Jill Condon & Amy Toomin<br>
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Part III </font>Written by: Seth Kurland<font size="3"><br>
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Part I Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a> & <a href="mailto:m.bakken@c2i.net">Marita Bakken</a><br>
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Part II Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:webmaster@friendsplace.com">Aaron D. Miller</a>
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& <a href="mailto:m.bakken@c2i.net">Marita Bakken</a><br>
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Part III Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a> & <a href="mailto:m.bakken@c2i.net">Marita Bakken</a><br>
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</font></p><font size="3">
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</font>
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<p><font size="3">{Transcriber's Note: This is the Uncut Version of Ross's second wedding
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it includes episodes 423, 424, and 501. It also includes some previously cut parts
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not shown in the U.S. Those parts are shown in </font><font color="#0000ff" size="3">blue</font><font size="3"><font color="#0000ff"> </font><font color="#000000">text.}</font></font></p>
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<hr>
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<font size="3">
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are getting ready for the flight to
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London and Monica comes running in.]</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Guys, hurry up! The flight leaves in four hours! It could take time to get
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a taxi! There could be traffic! The plane could leave early! When we get to London, there
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could be a line at customs! Come on!! (She runs back to her apartment.)</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Six-hour trip to London. That's a lot of Monica.</p>
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<font color="#0000ff"><b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: What do you got there?</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Condoms, dude!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Joey </b>(looks at the box): How come the writing is in Spanish?</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Don't read my condoms!</p>
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</font>
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<p>[Cut to the girls' apartment, Monica is putting things into her purse as Phoebe and
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Rachel watch.]</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Passport, check! (As she puts away each item, she says check.) Camera,
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check! Traveller's cheques, check! </p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Who are you saying "check" too?</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Myself. Y'know for remembering to pack a thing. Yeah, you do a good thing,
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you get a check! (pause) My mom does it, I never realised it was weird.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Yeah, my mom used to put her head in the oven. Well, actually, she only did
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it the one time. But it was pretty weird.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: (entering) Hey!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Hey!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Hey! Are you ready yet?</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Yep! You got the tickets?</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Oh! Got 'em right here, (Pats his coat pocket) check!</p>
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<p>[Cut to the guys' apartment.]</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: It's all London, baby! Here we go. (He takes a picture of a less than
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enthused Chandler and starts towards the girls' apartment.)</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: You got your passport?</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Yeah, in my third drawer on my dresser. You don't want to lose that.</p>
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<p>(Chandler glares at him. At first Joey doesn't know why, it takes him a little bit to
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figure it out.)</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Ohh!! (Runs to his room.)</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: There it is.</p>
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<b>
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<p align="CENTER">Opening Credits</p>
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</b>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier, Monica is telling Phoebe where
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everything is.]</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Okay, if you need the vacuum, it's in my closet on the left-hand side. Ah,
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the garbage bags are next to the refrigerator...</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Okay, okay, but Rachel's gonna be here too, can't I just ask her this
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stuff?</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Yeah, okay, give that a try!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: (entering, with Joey) All right! Let's do it!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Woo-hoo!!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Yeah, cheerie-o! </p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: London baby!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Okay, 'cause that's not gonna get annoying.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: (louder) London baby!!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Hey, y'know what? I was wrong.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Well, we're all here! I guess we should get going!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Ohhh, I wanna come over there and give you a hug and wish you luck on your
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wedding, but I don't-can't get up.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Oh, I'll-I'll come hug you.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Great! Yeah, could you bring me the newspaper?</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Yeah. (He does so and Phoebe hugs him.)</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Oh, have a great wedding!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Thanks.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Oh, hey, Chandler I wanna hug you too!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Hey! (Trots over)</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Oh, and great! You might as well bring me my book, it's on the counter in
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your apartment.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Oh. (Goes and gets Phoebe's book as Rachel comes in from her room.)</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: (to Rachel) So, we're off.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Have fun!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Thanks! (They hug.) Ugh, I can't believe you're not gonna be there!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Oh, I know.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: So-so come! Why don't you come?</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: What?!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: To London! Come to London. Please? It'll mean so much to me.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Yeah, well, I gotta work, I'm sorry.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Why-why can't you take a couple of days off?</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Because, I can't! Ross, I told you, no. I can't.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: This is my wedding.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: All right, y'know what? We really are late! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Fine. You'll-you'll watch it on video when we get back.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: (entering, with Phoebe's book.) Here you go Phoebe! Here you go Phobo!
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Phewbedo! Phaybobo.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: (laughs) Thank you.</p>
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<p>(Chandler kneels down with his arms spread waiting for his hug.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Thank you. (She pats him on his head.)</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: All right, let's go! Bye, Pheebs!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Bye, Pheebs!</p>
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<p>(They all start out, Rachel gives each one a kiss, and says "bye." In the
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hall, Joey says...)</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: London baby!! (And Rachel slowly closes the door, sadly.)</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Oh, do you need a hug? You don't have to bring me anything!</p>
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<p>(And with that, television history is made as, for the first time ever, an entire show
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moves it's entire production to an entirely different country to make a single episode. We
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get shots of Buckingham Palace, London Bridge, Big Ben, and the London Marriott as Joey
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and Chandler exit.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Street in front of the London Marriott, Joey and Chandler exit. Joey is
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carrying a video camera and is shooting Chandler.]</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Come on! Do something!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: I am, I'm ignoring you.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Okay, here! (Gives him the camera.) I wanna be the on camera guy. All right,
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first stop, Westminster Abbey. (Joey folds out his "pop-up" map of London. All
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of the major landmarks pop-up like in a pop-up book.)</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Oh, what the hell is that?</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: It's London, baby! All right, the hotel's here. (Points to the map.) Wait.
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No, we wanna go... No. I know. (Sets the map down.) I'm gonna have to go into the map. (So
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Joey literally steps into the map.)</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Okay, if you see a little version of me in there? Kill it!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: I got it! (Picks up the map and starts walking.) Here we go.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Okay. Listen-listen, we're not gonna have to walk this way the entire
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time are we?</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Shhh! (Pause) Man, you made me lose it! (He goes into the map again.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Another street, somewhere along the River Thames, Ross, Emily, and Monica are
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walking to where they're gonna get married. Emily is relating the troubles with the
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caterer.]</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Emily</b>: ...and that was all before 10 o'clock. The caterer rang and said it was
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going to be Chicken Kiev instead of Chicken Tarragon. And then the florist phoned to say
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there aren't any tulips. Oh, and the chilliest has carpel-tunel syndrome. We're not gonna
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be...</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Emily, (Gives her the time-out signal.) honey, okay?</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Emily</b>: Well, up yours too!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: What?! </p>
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<font color="#0000ff"><b>
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</b><p><b>Emily</b>: Oh, that's not what it means?</p>
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</font><b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: No! No! That's-that's time-out!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Emily</b>: Sorry.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Sweetie, you gotta relax. Everything's gonna be great, okay? Come on. Come
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on.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Chicken Kiev?</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Um-hmm! Doesn't that sound delicious at the last minute?</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Yeah, y'know, but something like salmon which would be so much more elegant
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than the chicken. And, you wouldn't have to worry about the salmonella. (Ross pushes her.)
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<font color="#0000ff">But of course with salmon you'd have to worry about the
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chickenella...</font> So, I can't wait to see this place you're getting married!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Yeah. Yeah. Yes, this place is beautiful. Emily's parents got married here.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Emily</b>: I still can't believe they're tearing it down. It really is the most lovely
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building you'll ever see. I mean it's over... (She stops suddenly, when she sees that
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demolition has already started.) Oh my God!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: It's nice.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Emily</b>: Oh. Oh. (She starts running towards the building.)</p>
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<p>[Cut to inside.]</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Emily</b>: (running in, with Ross) Oh. Oh my God. How can this be happening? What are
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we going to do?</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: It's all right! Everything's gonna be all right.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Emily</b>: How's it gonna be all right?!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Uh-huh, I see that.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: (entering) Okay, I talked to the guy with the shovel and I found out what
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happened. </p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: What? What?</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: They tore it down a few days early.</p>
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<font color="#0000ff">
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey are sitting on the top floor on one of the red coaches in
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London that doesn't have a roof. Joey is very enthusiastic and is pointing at all the
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different sights. Chandler is really embarrassed and tries to make him stop. Afterwards,
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Joey tries to film Chandler with his video camera, and Chandler obviously hates this.
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Then, Joey falls asleep, and Chandler tries to take the video camera away from him.
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However, Joey is holding onto it (in his sleep) and won't let it go. Chandler pulls until
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Joey lets it go, causing Chandler to fall out of his seat.]</p>
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</font>
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<p>[Scene: Westminster Abbey, Joey and Chandler have successfully navigated the streets of
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London and are approaching the Abbey.]</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: All right! Westminster Abbey! Hands down, best Abbey I've ever seen. Hey!
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(Pushes Chandler in front of the camera.) Okay. What do you think of the Abbey, Chandler?</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: I think it's great. It's great. Y'know, they're thinking of changing the
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name of this place.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Really? To what?</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: To Put the Camera Away!!!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Man, you are Westminster Crabby. (He starts chasing Chandler towards the
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Abbey.)</p>
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<font color="#0000ff">
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<p>[Scene: A bridal shop somewhere in London. Monica is trying on her red bridesmaid
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dress, and Emily is watching. A dressmaker is working on Monica's dress.]</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Don't worry. You'll find some place to get married.</p>
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<p>(The dressmaker puts a pin in the dress, but accidentally pricks Monica with it.)</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Oowww!!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Dressmaker</b>: Sorry. Lucky this dress is red!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Emily</b>: We can't find another place. Then we can't have the wedding! I've ordered
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chicken and salad and-and cake for 150. What should be the most wonderful day of my life
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is rapidly turning into just Sunday with a spectacular amount of food!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: You're gonna find a place. But even if - God forbid - you didn't.. So you
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postpone the wedding. Is that really so bad? I mean, think about it. You could take all
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the time you needed to get everything that you want. You could have tulips, you could have
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salmon.... Mmmmm... Salmon!!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Emily</b>: I suppose it wouldn't be the end of the world... Oh, thank you!</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: But either way... You're gonna get married, you're gonna be happy, my mom's
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gonna like you better than me.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Emily smiles a bit and looks uncomfortable.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Oh, god... She's told you that already, didn't she?!</p>
|
|
</font>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is trying to move off of the couch as Rachel
|
|
enters.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Oh. Oh.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Oh, honey! Don't get up! What do you need?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Oh, no. Oh, nothing.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Come on! I am here to take care of you! What do you need? Anything.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Okay, I have a wedgie.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Okay, that is all you.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: So-so, what do you want for lunch?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Oh, I don't know. I guess we have to eat.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Yeah, I do. What's the matter?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: I'm just bummed about the way I left things with Ross. I shouldn't have
|
|
lied to him about having to work. He seemed so mad at me.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Eh, don't be so hard on yourself. If someone I was still in love with was
|
|
getting married...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: (interrupting) Still in love with?! </p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Yeah!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: I'm not in love with Ross!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Oh. No. No. Good! Yeah, me neither.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Phoebe, I'm going to Ross's wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that
|
|
would be really uncomfortable. Not because, I'm still in love with him! I mean, hey,
|
|
y'know, I like Ross as much as the next guy, y'know? Clearly I have feelings for him, but
|
|
feelings don't mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I
|
|
have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesn't mean that-that I'm still in
|
|
love with him. Y'know? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love him-Ohh! Oh my God!
|
|
Oh my-why didn't you tell me?!!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: We thought you knew!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: We?!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Yeah, we all know! We talk about it all the time!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: You all know? Does Ross know?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Oh no, Ross doesn't know anything.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Oh, I can not believe you didn't tell me!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Well, because we thought you knew!! It's so obvious! God, that would be
|
|
like telling Monica, "Hey, you like things clean." <font color="#0000ff">Or,
|
|
y'know, "Hey, Joey, you're gay."</font></p><font color="#0000ff">
|
|
|
|
<p>(Rachel stares at her.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: What?!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Oh, please! She's always got a broom in her hand!</p>
|
|
</font>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: A park in London, Joey and Chandler walk up to a souvenir stand.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Hey!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>The Vendor</b>: So, what are you guys in the market for? We've got uh, scarves, tulip
|
|
post cards...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Check this out? Huh? (Joey has this big tall hat with a British flag on the
|
|
front of it.) Yeah. That's the stuff. What do you think?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Well, I don't have to buy that, "I'm with stupid" T-shirt
|
|
anymore.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Well, I like it. Here you go. (He pays for the hat.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: All right, look, you're not really gonna buy that are you? Don't you
|
|
think you've embarrassed me enough for one day?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Oh, I embarrass you? </p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: How can I answer that when I'm pretending I don't know you?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>The Vendor</b>: He's just jealous. You'll fit right in; all Londoners wear them!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Oh really? Then how come no one here is wearing them?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>The Vendor</b>: (looks around) They're all tourists.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: All right, look, if you insist on wearing that, in public, y'know, you're
|
|
gonna spend the rest of the afternoon all by yourself.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Oh yeah? (Puts the hat on.) If you're gonna make me choose between you and
|
|
the hat? I choose the hat.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>The Vendor</b>: Good choice.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Thanks.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Okay, wait. All right, that's it, okay, I'm out of here. I am not going
|
|
to be embarrassed anymore! (He trips over a box, falls into a flower stand and walks away
|
|
trying to be cool.)</p>
|
|
<font color="#0000ff">
|
|
|
|
<p>(A man walks up to Joey and stares at Chandler and the flower stand. Joey turns around
|
|
to introduce himself.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: How you doin'? Joey Tribbiani, America.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Joey shakes his hand. The man looks at him and his hat.)</p>
|
|
</font>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: The hotel, Ross's room, Emily is entering.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Emily</b>: Hello?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Hey! I just spoke to your dad, and you know what? He seems to think we'll be
|
|
able to find a new place for the wedding.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Emily</b>: We don't have to.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Whoa-whoa-what? You found a place?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Emily</b>: No. But, Monica and I were talking, and-and I was so upset about the hall
|
|
being knocked down, and she suggested that we put the wedding off for a bit.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: She said what?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Emily</b>: She said, "If I'm not gonna be happy getting married somewhere that we
|
|
find in a day, well then we should just postpone it."</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent
|
|
on this wedding? Do you my sister's teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took
|
|
time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? (He puts his pants on
|
|
backwards.) This isn't right.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Emily</b>: I realise that people are going to be disappointed. But, I'm sure they'll
|
|
come back when we can do it right.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: I can't ask people to do that? Would you ask people to do that? (Holds out
|
|
his pants)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Emily</b>: Don't you point your pants at me! (She throws them on the floor.) We have no
|
|
choice! Anywhere that's half-decent would've be booked months ago, Ross don't you
|
|
understand? This is our wedding I'm talking about.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: The only thing I understand is; postponing it is not an option. This is when
|
|
we're getting married.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Emily</b>: So what are you saying? It's now or never?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: No. I'm saying it's now. (He starts putting on his pants, backwards again.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Emily</b>: Or?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: There's no 'or' in mind. What is wrong with these pants?!!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Emily</b>: It's not the pants. It's you that is backwards. And if, and if you don't
|
|
understand how important this is to me, well then, perhaps we shouldn't get married at
|
|
all! (She storms out.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: (chasing her, trying to zip up his pants. His got them on right now.) No,
|
|
wait! Emily! No, wait, stop! Emily, please-(He catches something important in the zipper
|
|
and howls like a little boy and falls to the floor.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the couch as Rachel returns carrying a bunch
|
|
of shopping bags.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Hey!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: (depressed) Hi.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: So, did shopping make you feel any better about Ross?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Manhattan does not have enough stores.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Well, I think I can help you get over him.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: You can?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Yeah. I just need you to bring me some photos of Ross.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Um-hmm.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: And a small piece of chocolate.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Okay.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: And a glass of tepid water. (She gathers up all of these things.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Ooh, is this one of those things where you throw it in a bag with some
|
|
graveyard dirt and hang it from a north-facing tree?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the
|
|
water and the chocolate is for me. I just didn't feel like getting up. Okay, I'm gonna
|
|
show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And you're going to remember all of the bad things about
|
|
him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: I can do that. I certainly did it when we were going out.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I
|
|
love Ross, I think he's such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it
|
|
out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that you're with Ross okay and
|
|
imagine that you're kissing him. And you're-you're running your hands all over his body.
|
|
And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross it's some kind of grease,
|
|
it's-uck! Hah?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: I don't know, his uh, his hair never really bothered me that much, and
|
|
y'know it was always more crunchy than it was greasy.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought. Umm, let's try some uh,
|
|
aversion therapy.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Okay.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Okay?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: All right.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: So uh, now look at the picture...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Okay.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: All right, and umm... (She grabs the picture and smacks her in the head.) </p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Ow!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Okay, how do you feel now?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Well, I like you less!</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's hotel room. <font color="#0000ff">Chandler is trying to
|
|
kick his shoe into a trash can that is standing on the TV. He can't do it.</font>]</p>
|
|
<font color="#0000ff"><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Well, this is just as boring in England.</p>
|
|
</font>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Joey returns, still wearing his hat.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Hey.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Hey. (He nods at the hat.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Oh. (Takes off the hat.) Sorry!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: No-no-no, y'know what? I really shouldn't have said that you were
|
|
embarrassing me, I mean that really wasn't cool. And if it makes you feel any better, I've
|
|
had a really lousy day.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Me too.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Yeah?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Noo!! I've had the best day ever! Dude, check this out! <font color="#0000ff">Now,
|
|
I'm gonna fastforward past the part with you, 'cause it is <i>boring</i>.</font></p><font color="#0000ff">
|
|
</font><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: (entering) Hey!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Sh-shh-shh! (He motions for her to watch something he has taped.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Cut to the tape Joey made in front of some famous place in London with a rather famous
|
|
English-type person.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: (on tape) Okay, so say hi to my friend and tell him that you like the hat. </p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Fergie</b>: (Yep, Sarah, the Duchess of York) Okay, so umm, what's your friend's name?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: (on tape) Oh, Chandler.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Fergie</b>: Hi Chandler! (Waves) </p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: That's... That's was...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Oh my God!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: That's Fergie baby!!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Fergie</b>: Joey says you don't really like his hat, but I think it's kinda dashing.</p>
|
|
<font color="#0000ff"><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: (on tape) So, I hear you're single now...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Fergie</b>: Yeah, ummm, I don't like the hat that much. (She smiles.)</p>
|
|
</font><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: How did you? How? How?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Well, I was trying to figure out how to get to Buckingham Palace, right? So,
|
|
I'm in my map and-and...(Ross enters) Hey!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Hey!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Hi. I understand you had a little talk with Emily.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: (laughs) Yes, I did! And you are welcome!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Am I?! And was it your idea to postpone the wedding?!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Umm...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: I'm gonna go to the bathroom.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Wait up! (They both run to the bathroom.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Hey-hey, since you're the 'fix-it' lady, here's a pickle, what do you do when
|
|
the bride says she doesn't want to have the wedding at all?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: She said that?!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Yeah.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Why?!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: I don't know, I told her it was stupid to put off the wedding just because
|
|
the hall was gone and she liked flipped out.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Oh my God. You're even dumber than I am!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Excuse me?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Ross, how long have you been planning this wedding?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: I don't know. A month?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the
|
|
first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. That's what we did!
|
|
We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered
|
|
wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets thrown a box of
|
|
Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most important part is
|
|
that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: I had no idea. And that-that pillowcase thing, I thought you guys were just
|
|
doing the flying nun.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Sometimes we were.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Come on. You gotta help me figure out what to do. Okay?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Okay.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Come on. (They leave and Chandler sticks his head out.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: That was pretty intense huh?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Yeah. (Pause) Hey, I hope Ross didn't think that we just went in there
|
|
because we were uncomfortable being out here!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: (glares at him) I hope he did!</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Phoebe is on the couch, and Rachel is sitting on the
|
|
chair.]</p>
|
|
<font color="#0000ff"><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Ooh! I thought of a good flaw! Ross pops his gum!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Oh, right! (BEAT) Wait a minute, I do that too.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Yeah, I know. It drives me crazy.</p>
|
|
</font>
|
|
|
|
<p>(The phone rings.)</p>
|
|
<font color="#0000ff"><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: I'll get it.</p>
|
|
</font>
|
|
|
|
<p>(She answers it.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Hello.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: (on phone) Hey, Pheebs! It's Joey!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Hey, Joey! Hey! Ooh! Ooh! I just say someone on the-that looks just like
|
|
you on the subway. And I was gonna go over and say 'hi!' but then I figured, he doesn't
|
|
care if he looks like you.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: That just cost me four bucks. But uh listen, I just called to see how the
|
|
chick and the duck are doing?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Ohh, they're having a great time with their Aunt Phoebe! Aunt Rachel hasn't
|
|
been helpful at all. So, do you miss me?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Kinda, but I've just been having way too much fun.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: So you're not homesick yet?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: No, I don't think so.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: All right, the seven of us miss you.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Who's seven?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Y'know, me, Rachel, the birds, the babies...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Ahh, the babies miss me?</p>
|
|
<font color="#0000ff"><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Of course they do! Or I'm just really hungry.</p>
|
|
</font>
|
|
|
|
<p>(There is a knock on Rachel and Phoebe's door.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Ooh, the pizza guy's here!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: What? You ordered pizza without me?!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Yeah. But y'know we were thinking about you, y'know we ordered the Joey
|
|
Special.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Two pizzas?!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Yep! Okay, gotta go, talk to you later.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Wait, well, where did you get it from?! </p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Phoebe has already hung up, leaving Joey in the dark. So Joey decides to watch some TV
|
|
and turns on a rerun of Cheers, with the theme song playing. At first, he's happy, but as
|
|
the song progresses Joey gets depressed and homesick.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Ross and Emily's planned wedding place, Monica is dragging Emily in.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Emily</b>: Monica, why have you brought me here of all places?!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: You'll see.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Emily</b>: I tell you, this wedding is not going to happen.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(At that Ross plugs in some Christmas lights to light the place up.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Emily</b>: Oh God.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Okay? But-but imagine a lot more lights, okay? And-and y'know fewer bricks,
|
|
and-and-and flowers, and candles...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: And the musicians, look, they can go over here (Points to a little alcove),
|
|
okay? And the chairs can face this way (Points), and... (Points to Ross) You go.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: But-but, if you don't love this, we'll do it in any other place at any other
|
|
time. Really, it's fine, whatever you want.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Emily</b>: It's perfect.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: And, I don't know, if it starts to rain...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Emily</b>: Well then we'll get wet. (They kiss.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Ohh. And I don't even have a date.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is in her bedroom.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Pheebs?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Yeah?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Do you remember where the duck food is?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Yeah, it's in the guys' apartment under the sink. Why?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: (enters with a bag packed) Because I'm going to London.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: What?! What do you mean you're going to London?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Yeah, I have to tell Ross that I love him. Now honey, you take care, you
|
|
don't have those babies until I get back. (Kisses her stomach.) </p>
|
|
<font color="#0000ff"><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: But what about all the "finding-his-flaws" stuff we've been
|
|
doing?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Yeah, that didn't work.</p>
|
|
</font><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: I-Rachel, you can't go! Ross loves Emily!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Yeah, I know, I know, I know he does. But I have to tell him how I feel! He
|
|
deserves to have all the information and then he can make an informed decision.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: That's not why you're going! You're going because you hope he's gonna say,
|
|
"Yeah, I love you too, Rach. Forget that British chippy."</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Ohh-Do you think he will?!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: No! Because he's in love with the British chippy! Look, Rachel, if you go,
|
|
you're just gonna mess with his head and ruin his wedding! Y'know, it's too late! You
|
|
missed you're chance! I'm sorry, I know this must be really hard, it's over.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Y'know what? No. It's not over until someone says, "I do."
|
|
(Exits)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: I do! I do! I do! (Chases her into the hall, but Rachel doesn't stop.) I
|
|
do! (Gives up.) Ugh, like I can really chase you. I'm carrying a litter.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Moving Shot towards The Waltham House. A phone is ringing.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Housekeeper</b>: The Waltham Residence.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Oh...yes..is this..umm..Emily's Parents' house.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Housekeeper</b>: This is the housekeeper speaking. And by the way, young lady, that is
|
|
not how one addresses a person on the telephone. First one identifies oneself and then
|
|
asks for the person with whom one wishes to speak.</p>
|
|
<font color="#0000ff"><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: What are you saying?!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Housekeeper</b>: Now, let us try that again, shall we?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(The housekeeper hangs up.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: (Shocked) No! Ooh! Oh my god! (Dials again.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Housekeeper</b>: The Waltham Residence.</p>
|
|
</font><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: (In a British accent) <font color="#0000ff">Hello.</font> This is Phoebe
|
|
Buffay. I was wondering, please, if-if it's not too much trouble, please, umm, might I
|
|
speak to Miss Emily Waltham, please?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Housekeeper</b>: Miss Waltham, is at the rehearsal dinner and it's not polite to make
|
|
fun of people. Goodbye.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: No no no, I'll be nice, I swear!!! Could you just give me the number for
|
|
where they are?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Housekeeper</b>: I'm afraid, I'm not at liberty to divulge that information.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Ok, somebody is on their way to ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn
|
|
somebody, alright. So if you don't give me that number then I'm going to come over there
|
|
and kick your snooty ass all the way to New Glocken..shire.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Housekeeper</b>: Hangs up.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Hello, Hello. Ohh, OHH, she knew I could kick her ass.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Rehearsal dinner hall. Ross and Emily are standing in the reception area.
|
|
Monica arrives with her parents.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Hey.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: (Ross hugs his mom and dad)Hi. Mom. Dad.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Geller</b>: Sweetheart. Oh sorry were late, my fault, I insisted on riding the
|
|
tube.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Geller</b>: (embarrassed) Judy, the kids..</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Geller</b>: Jack, that's what they call the subway.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Geller</b>: Ohh, I thought that you....</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross and Monica</b>: Dad, dad. We got it!! We Got It!!!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Emily</b>: Ohh, here comes my dad and stepmum. Mister and Misses Geller, this is Steven
|
|
and Andrea Waltham.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Waltham</b>: (Shaking everyone's hand.) Hello. Hello. How do you do? How do you do?
|
|
Very nice to meet you. (Looking over at his wife.) Darling it's the Gellers. (She pays no
|
|
attention she's talking on a cellular phone.) (Louder) Darling, it's the Gellers. (She's
|
|
still not responding.) She's very self-absorbed, you know. I should never have married
|
|
her.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham</b>: (Looking evilly at her husband) Sorry, what?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Waltham</b>: It's the Gellers!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham</b>: Where?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Waltham</b>: Well there's one (pointing towards Jack) and there's another (pointing
|
|
towards Judy).</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham</b>: Lovely to meet you.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Waltham</b>: Terribly nice of you to offer to pay for half the wedding. (He hands a
|
|
multipage bill to Jack.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Geller</b>: Ohh forget it. Too hell with tradition, we're happy to do it.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Geller</b>: We know how expensive weddings can be, besides this may be the only
|
|
wedding we get to throw (patting Monica on the shoulder.).</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Ha ha, a joke that's funny in all countries.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Ross quickly directs the families to their tables.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Waiter</b>: Sir? (Looking at Joey and holding a tray of food.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: What's in it?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Waiter</b>: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly
|
|
at the food.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: (Looking up at the waiter)That's not food...No, I don't, no...(Taps Chandler
|
|
on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I
|
|
miss the coffee house. I can't even remember what Phoebe looks like.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Joey, it's been three days, okay.. Your just a little homesick, Okay.
|
|
Would you just try to relax. Just, just try to enjoy yourself.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: (Pointing at Chandler.) Your different here too. Your mean in England.
|
|
(Chandler throws his hands up to his head in frustration. They walk away from each other.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Camera pans to the Geller family table. Ross, Rachel, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Geller</b>: (Looking at ht wedding bill.) What the hell!!!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: what's up, Dad?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Geller</b>: This bill for my half of the wedding. it's insane.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Geller</b>: How could it be so much? The receptions at their house.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Geller</b>: (Pointing items out on the bill.) Flowers, liquor, recarpet first
|
|
floor. New guest bath, landscaping. I'm paying to remodel this guys house. (Angrily gets
|
|
up.) I'm going to give that son on a bitch, a piece of my mind.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: (Holding him back.)Dad, dad, please. Look I don't want anything to upset
|
|
Emily tonight. Alright, she's had a hard enough couple of days as it is. (Picks up the
|
|
bill.) Now here, here, let me go talk to him, okay?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Geller</b>: And you tell him no one takes advantage of the Gellers.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Geller</b>: Ooh, Jack....(He looks over to her) Sometimes I forget how powerful
|
|
you can be. (They embrace and kiss passionately.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: (Looking nauseous from her parents kissing.) And I'm going to go get drunk.
|
|
(Gets up to get a drink.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: John F. Kennedy International Airport, Rachel is running to the ticket
|
|
counter.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Ooh, ooh, ooh,ooh,ooh. (Slightly out of breath) Hi.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ticket Agent</b>: (Cheerfully.) Hello.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: (Faking cheerfulness.) Hello. Umm, when is your next flight to London?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ticket Agent</b>: (looking at her computer terminal) There's one leaving in thirty
|
|
minutes.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Ohh, good.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ticket Agent</b>: And I do have one seat left. </p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Ohh, thank you, thank you, thank you.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ticket Agent</b>: The last minute fare on this ticket is twenty seven hundred dollars.</p>
|
|
<font color="#0000ff"><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: (Pause) Huh.. How about 600?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ticket Agent</b>: Sorry.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: How about 600 and these earrings? (Shows the ticket agent her earrings.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ticket Agent</b>: They prefer it if I don't barter.</p>
|
|
</font><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: (looking through her wallet.) Ohh, I just don't think I have enough left on
|
|
my credit card.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ticket Agent</b>: Well you can split it with another credit card.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Ohh, okay, how about five. (She hands her all the credit cards.) Ohh, thank
|
|
you.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ticket Agent</b>: I'm just going to need to see your passport.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: (Looking through her purse.) Okay, you know what? I don't have it, but I
|
|
can tell you exactly where it is on my night stand, and...okay. But you know what? I have
|
|
my drivers license and I have a twenty. (She slides it across the counter.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ticket Agent</b>: (Slides the twenty back and tosses her credit card onto the counter.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: The Rehearsal dinner hall. Ross is at the Walthams' table discussing the bill.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Look, face it, my father is not going to pay for the build-in barbecue and
|
|
believe me you can kiss you gazebo goodbye. Now I might be able to get you the new lawn.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Waltham</b>: Ahh, then you have to give us the lawn ornaments.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: I go back there with lawn ornaments, he's going to laugh in my face.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham</b>: This is ridiculous. I mean we had an agreement. (Ross looks
|
|
frustrated. She begins to scream at her husband.) Will you say something, Steven?!
|
|
Please!!!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Waltham</b>: Don't take that tone with me. (She looks evilly at him.) All-all right
|
|
you can. (He looks over at Ross and Shrugs.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is dialling the phone and Rachel runs in the door.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: (Running to her room.) Hi, Pheebs.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: (Looking relieved. She puts down the phone.) Oh thank god. Oh, you changed
|
|
your mind. Oh, look I know you probably want to be alone, and you don't want to talk about
|
|
it, that's fine. I just want you to know, I think you are doing the right thing and...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: (Running back out the door with her passport.) Bye, Pheebs.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: (Trying to get up.) Wait!! Where are you going?! What are you doing?! No!!
|
|
Wait!! (Not able to get up.) God!! Why am I always pregnant when she does that?!</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: The Rehearsal Dinner Hall. Chandler, Joey, Ross, Emily, Monica, and all the
|
|
bridal party are seated at the table. Chandler gets up to make a toast. <font color="#0000ff">He clinks his glass, but the napkin is still in the glass. Needless to
|
|
say, it sounds weird. He takes out the napkin and clinks his glass again.</font>]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: I'd like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be
|
|
tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will.
|
|
(No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long
|
|
time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks
|
|
embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him.. Until the day he over
|
|
inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear
|
|
God.. (A cellular phone rings.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham</b>: Hello, Waltham Interiors.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Oh, hi, Mrs. Waltham. I need to speak with ether one of the best men, or
|
|
Ross's sister Monica.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham</b>: Who is this?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Oh, I'm Phoebe Buffay. I'm one of Ross's best friends.</p>
|
|
<font color="#0000ff"><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham</b>: Where did you get this number?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: I got it from your maid. She's a bitch, but I wore her down.</p>
|
|
</font><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham</b>: Well, if you're one of Ross's best friends, why aren't you here?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Yeah, um, I can't fly. I'm having my brother's babies.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham</b>: Oh, am I on the radio?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: No..umm, could I talk to one of them? It's very very important.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham</b>: No, I'm bored with you now. I'm going to cut you off. (She hangs up.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Ohh! Okay, I'm going to have to kick her ass too.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: (Continuing his toast.) And I'm sure we're all very excited that Ross and
|
|
Emily are getting married at Montgomery Hall. I mean to think, my friend getting married
|
|
in Monty Hall. (No reaction from the people.) Ohh, come on!! Monty Hall!! Lets make a
|
|
Deal!! Come on, you people!! All right, forget it!! Congratulations, Ross and Emily. (He
|
|
sits down.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Hey, best man number two, Joey Tribbiani. Now I'm not good with the jokes
|
|
like Chandler here. Boy...but ahh, I just want to say congratulation to the happy couple.
|
|
I first met Ross in this coffee house back home...Home...New York City...Where everybody
|
|
knows my name. Well anyway, I love you guys. (pointing at everyone.) But not as much as I
|
|
love America. (Looking at Chandler.) Could we please..go home now?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(One of the bridesmaids, Felicity, puts her arm around Joey.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Felicity</b>: (Putting her arm around Joey.) Are you going home? I was hoping to get to
|
|
know you better.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: (Putting his arm around her.) I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Later that evening at the rehearsal dinner. Chandler and Monica are sitting on
|
|
a sofa. Chandler is covering his face in embarrassment because of the toast.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: I was laughing. (Patting him on the knee.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Out loud?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Well I didn't want everyone to think I was stupid.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: So how are you doing?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: My mother's driving me crazy, but Ross is getting married. I'm happy. (A
|
|
drunken man approaches.) I'm not going to let anything spoil that.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Drunk Man</b>: I just want to say that Ross is a wonderful young man.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Well, thanks, we like him.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Drunk Man</b>: My god!! You must have been a teenage when you had him. (Monica stares
|
|
straight forward after the comment. Chandler tries to console her by patting her on the
|
|
shoulder.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Ross and Emily's parents are seated at a table. Ross is between them and they are
|
|
discussing the wedding bill.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Geller</b>: There's no way in hell, I'm paying for it.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Look, were down to just one point. Could we please, maybe just settle it
|
|
after the wedding.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Geller</b>: All-right fine, but I just want to say, I'm not paying for your wine
|
|
cellar. You thieving, would be speaking German if it weren't for us, cheap little man.
|
|
(Emily's stepmum looks shocked. Jack and Judy get up and leave.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Chandler's trying to console Monica.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: The guy was hammered, okay? There's no way, you look like Ross's mother.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Then why would he say it?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Because he's crazy. Okay? He came up to me earlier and thanked me for my
|
|
very moving performance in <em>Titanic</em>.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Oh, my mother's right. I'm never going to get married.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Ahh, you know what? That is....Who wouldn't want you?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Ohh, Please?! I'm a single mom, with a thirty year old son!!</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: The airport. Rachel runs up to the ticket counter.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Hi, I'm back. Listen, I need to...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ticket Agent</b>: Hello.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Hello. I need to get on the 11 o'clock flight.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ticket Agent</b>: Oh I'm afraid that plane has already pulled away from the gate.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Okay, you know what? You're going to have to call that plane and tell
|
|
them to swing around and come and pick me up.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ticket Agent</b>: I can't do that.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Sure, you know what? Come on, we'll just tell them that there was like a
|
|
problem with like the "engine".</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ticket Agent</b>: I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to step aside, Miss.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Look, If I don't get to London!! He is going to marry that other girl!!!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ticket Agent</b>: I can't imagine why.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: All right, you know what? I am not leaving here, until you call that plane
|
|
back!! (She pounds her hand on the counter twice. The ticket agent counters by placing the
|
|
closed sign on the counter and tapping it twice.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Chandlers hotel room. Ross bursts into the room.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: (Screaming) I'm getting married today!! Whoo-hoo!!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: (With the covers pulled up to his chin.) Morning, Ross.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: I'm getting married, to..day!!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Yeah you are!!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Ahh, whoo-hoo!!(He runs back out the door.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: (Comes up for below the covers and looks concerned.) Do you think he knew I
|
|
was here? (Chandler quickly looks at Monica not knowing what to say.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: The Virgin Atlantic flight to London that Rachel is on.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Ohhh.(she rhythmically taps her hands on the magazine on her lap.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Passenger</b>: Ahh, ahh, excuse me.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Yeah?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Passenger</b>: If you're planning on doing that throughout the entire flight. Please
|
|
tell me now. So that I could that a sedative...or perhaps slip you one.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Oh. I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. Sorry. (She hums and sighs happily.) It's
|
|
just, I'm ahh, I'm kinda excited. I'm, ahh, going to London to ahh, tell this guy that I
|
|
love him and... (He puts his headphones on to ignore her.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Chandlers hotel room. Chandler and Monica are lying in the bed together
|
|
talking. There's an awkward air between them. They are both clutching the covers in from
|
|
of them.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Well I've-I've never done that with you before.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: (In am uneasy voice.) Nope. (She chuckles uneasily.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: So, ahh, how are ya? How ya...How ya... You okay?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><strong>Monica: </strong>Yep, yep...You?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Yes...Yes..Uh-huh, You?(Looking over at her. She looks back.) We did you.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Well...I'd better get going.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Oh yea yea, absolutely.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: (Scoots towards the side of the bed.) Could you not look?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: I don't want to look.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Joey enters his hotel room. The phone is ringing.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Hello?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: (Angrily.) Hey, were the hell have you been?!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Hey. I spent the night out. I met this cute bridesmaid. She is so...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: I don't want to hear about her!!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Ahh Pheebs, you know you're still my number one girl.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: No! No, we have an emergency. Okay? Rachel's coming to London.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Ohh great!!!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: No it's not great. No, she's coming to tell Ross that she loves him.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: (Confused.) But, he loves Emily?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: I KNOW THAT!!! You have to stop her!! She's going to ruin the wedding!!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Okay.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: All right, so, okay...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Hold on. Hold on. (Picking up a note pad and writing and reading the message
|
|
aloud.) Rachel coming. Do...Something.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Okay, so I'm done my part, okay. It's your responsibility now, okay. The
|
|
burden is off me, right?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Right!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: So tell me about this girl?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: The plane. Rachel's telling her story to the passenger on her left. The one on
|
|
her left is still wearing his headphones.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: ...And so then I realised. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to
|
|
Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldn't come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Passenger</b>: (Frustrated he takes his headphones off.) Oh, oh oh!! I'm sorry, can I
|
|
interrupt? You know I just want to say..That you are a horrible, horrible person.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Ehh, pardon me?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Passenger</b>: You say you love this man, yet you're about to ruin the happiest day of
|
|
his life. I'm afraid I have to agree with you friend Pheebs.. This is a..this is
|
|
a...terrible, terrible plan. </p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: But he has to know how I feel!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Passenger</b>: But why? He loves this...this Emily person. No good can come of this.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: (Sighing) Well I-I think your wrong.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Passenger</b>: Oh-no.(He bites his fist at her.)</p>
|
|
<font color="#0000ff"><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Well, he doesn't really love her. I mean, it's just a rebound thing from
|
|
me.... You'll see!</p>
|
|
</font><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Passenger</b>:<font color="#0000ff"> Fortunately, I won't. </font>And by the way, it
|
|
seems to be perfectly clear that you were on a break. (Rachel gasps and doesn't know what
|
|
to say. He puts his headphones back on.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: The guys hotel room. <font color="#0000ff">Joey's sitting on his bed, holding
|
|
the note he wrote while talking to Phoebe. He's patting the note with a pen and staring
|
|
off into space.</font>]</p>
|
|
<font color="#0000ff"><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Do something..... Something....</p>
|
|
</font>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Chandler comes out of the bathroom in a robe.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Hey.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Hey.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Have you seen Monica?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: (Very defensive.) I'm not seeing Monica.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: (With a confused look on his face.) What?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: What?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Look we've got to find her. Phoebe just called!! Rachel's coming to tell Ross
|
|
she loves him!!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Oh my god!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: I know! That's why we got to find Monica!! You know where she is? </p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: No!! Okay!! What's with the third degree?! Why don't you just shine a
|
|
light in my eyes?! (Joey looks totally confused.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: The church where Ross and Emily are to be married. Judy, Andrea, and Monica
|
|
enter together.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Geller</b>: (Looking around at the chapel.) Oh my God! It's like a fairyland.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham</b>: I know, it's horrible isn't it?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Well, I love it. I only hope my wedding looks this good.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Geller</b>: I just hope...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: (Angrily.) You can let some of them go by!(Judy and Andrea go to the front
|
|
of the chapel. Joey approaches Monica.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: (Whispering.) Pisst, Monica. Alright, we really need to start looking out for
|
|
Rachel. I'll cover the front door. You watch that big hole at the back of the building and
|
|
I got Chandler covering Ross.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: (Awkwardly.) Why would I care where Chandler is? You know uhh...You know
|
|
sometimes I don't even like Chandler.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Okay. (They both walk off to watch for Rachel.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Ross and Chandler are standing next to the alter. Ross is practising for the wedding.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: (Using a slightly different inflection for each.) I do. I do. I do.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Oh yea, your right. It's the second one.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: (Very Nervous)Really?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Joey's in the front entrance watching for Rachel. The bridesmaid he met at the
|
|
rehearsal dinner come in.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Felicity</b>: (In a sexy voice.)Hello Joey.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Hey, Felicity.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Felicity</b>: Umm, I thought about you all day.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Yeah.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Felicity</b>: Um-hum. Talk New York to me again.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: (In a New York accent.) Fuggetaboutit. (She giggles.) How you doin?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Felicity</b>: Mmm. (She pushes him up against the wall and they begin to kiss.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Oh, yeah.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Back in the chapel. The parents are still fighting over the bill. Ross is refereeing.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Geller</b>: There's nothing to discuss. We're not paying for your wine cellar.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Waltham</b>: (Pleading.) You-you have to meet me in the middle here.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Geller</b>: (Forcefully.) Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foots going to meet
|
|
the middle of your ass.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Dad!! (Emily comes running in.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Emily</b>: What-what's going on?!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Nothing, nothing. Everything's under control.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Waltham</b>: You want a piece of me, sir? Is that what your saying? (Pointing at
|
|
Jack and poking him) You want a piece of me?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: (Stepping in between them.)Okay! Okay! That's it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back
|
|
away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear
|
|
one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! (Pointing at his mother.) That's right!!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Geller</b>: Okay, okay.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Waltham</b>: Sorry old boy, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. (Them all walk away. As he leaves
|
|
he mutters to Jack.) I could kill you with my thumb, you know.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Emily</b>: What was all that about?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: (Sighing.) It was...This disagreement over...(She sighs. Ross notices her in
|
|
her wedding dress.) My god. You...you look beautiful.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Emily</b>: (Giggles.) Ohh...(She realises that she's in her gown.) Oh! You were not
|
|
meant to see me before the wedding. It's bad luck.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: You know what, I think we've had all the bad luck we're going to have. (He
|
|
hugs her.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(The front entrance. Joey and the bridesmaid are up against the wall kissing. Rachel
|
|
comes in the door and walks by Joey unnoticed. She walks into the chapel and sees Ross and
|
|
Emily kissing. She looks as though she wants to cry. Emily walks away and Ross turns and
|
|
sees Rachel standing there.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: My God. Rachel! (He walks towards her, grasps her hands and kisses her on the
|
|
cheek.) Your here. I can't believe it. (She giggles.) What happen? Why are you here?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Well I just came...(She touches him near his heart. She's almost in tears.)
|
|
I just needed to tell you...(Looking into his eyes. She takes a deep breath.)
|
|
Congratulations. (He hugs her. She can barely hold back the tears.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Camera fades to one of the band members playing guitar at the wedding. The
|
|
chapel is full of guest. A groomsmen escorts a bridesmaid down the isle. Joey is waiting
|
|
with Mrs. Waltham to escort he down the isle. A cellular phone rings.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham</b>: (Answering the phone.) Hello, Waltham Interiors.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Mrs. Waltham. Hi. It's Phoebe again.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham</b>: (Throws her head back in disgust.) Why?!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Yea. Can I please, please, please talk to one of the best men? This is
|
|
going to be the last time I promise.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham</b>: (Slapping the phone into Joey's chest.) Joey there's a girl on the
|
|
phone for you.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: (Smiling.) Ohh great!! (Putting the phone to his ear.) Hello. (He begins to
|
|
escort her down the aisle.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: <font color="#0000ff">Joey, it's Phoebe.</font> Did you stop Rachel?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: No, but it's okay. She just came in and gave him a hug, that it.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: So nothing got ruined?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: No.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Oh that's so great! Ohh, so what's going on now?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Ah, I'm-I'm walking down the aisle...Still walking. (Mrs. Waltham takes her
|
|
place.) I'm about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. (Looking at the
|
|
bridesmaid.) Hey! (Talking to Phoebe.) I told her "Hey." And now I'm at the
|
|
front with Ross. It's Phoebe. (He shows Ross the phone.) He looks pretty mad. Uh...I'd
|
|
better go.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: No!! wait, wait, wait!! Oh please, hold it up so I can listen. (Joey looks
|
|
at Ross and holds the phone above Ross's shoulder.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Chandler escorts Monica down the aisle.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: What we did last night was....</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Stupid.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Totally crazy stupid. (He nods his head at the people seated.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: What were we thinking?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: I'm coming over tonight though, right?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Oh yeah. Definitely.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(They quickly take their places and Here Comes the Bride begins to play. Everyone
|
|
seated looks back. Emily is being escorted up the aisle by her father. She kisses him on
|
|
the cheek and takes her place by Ross's side.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Minister</b>: Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union
|
|
of Ross and Emily. May the happiness we share with them today be with them always. Now
|
|
Emily, repeat after me. I, Emily...</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><strong>Emily: </strong>I, Emily...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Minister</b>: Take thee Ross...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Emily</b>: Take thee Ross...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Minister</b>: As my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, till death
|
|
parts us.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Emily</b>: As my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, until death parts
|
|
us.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Minister</b>: Now Ross, repeat after me. I Ross...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: I Ross...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Minister</b>: Take thee, Emily...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: Take thee, Rachel...(All his friends have looks of shock on their faces. He
|
|
realises what he said. Quickly he says.) Emily. (A slight chuckle.) Emily.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Rachel looks all around as if all the eyes in the chapel were looking at her.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> (To the woman sitting in front of her) He-he said Rachel, right? Do you
|
|
think I should go up there?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Minister:</b> (Looking and feeling awkward. he looks towards Emily.) Uhh...Shall I go
|
|
on?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>{Transcriber's Note: This is orginally where the season four cliffhanger was. So
|
|
you all have to wait four months before reading on.}</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Emily:</b> Yes, yes, do go on.</p>
|
|
<font color="#0000ff">
|
|
|
|
<p>(Cut to the parents.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Geller</b>: (to Mr. Waltham) He better go on for what I'm paying.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Waltham</b>: After what he just said, you're paying for the whole bloody lot.</p>
|
|
</font><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Minister:</b> I think we'd better start again. Ross, repeat after me. I, Ross...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> I, Ross...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Minister:</b> Take thee, <b>EM-I-LY</b>...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Take thee, (Glares at the Minister) <b>Emily</b>. (Chuckles) Like there'd be
|
|
anybody else. (Emily is glaring at him.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Minister:</b> As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, till death parts
|
|
us.</p>
|
|
<font color="#0000ff">
|
|
|
|
<p>(Cut to the Walthams.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham</b>: (to Mr. Waltham) Looks like that might come any minute.</p>
|
|
</font><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> As my lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, until death parts us.
|
|
Really, I do. Emily. (Points at her.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Minister:</b> May I have the rings? (He is given the rings) Emily, place this ring on
|
|
Ross's finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting. (She jams the ring onto his finger)
|
|
Ross, place this ring in Emily's hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Happy to.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Minister:</b> Ross and Emily have made their declarations and it gives me great
|
|
pleasure to declare them husband and wife.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Yay!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Minister:</b> You may kiss the bride.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(He goes to kiss her, but she isn't very receptive of the kiss. She keeps avoiding him,
|
|
until Ross finally gets to kiss her on her cheek.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> (To Mr. Geller) This is worse than when he married the lesbian.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(The band starts to play, and the recessional starts. Ross tries to take Emily's hand,
|
|
but she snatches it away from him.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Emily:</b> Just keep smiling.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Okay.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey:</b> Well, that went well. Yeah.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> It could've been worse, he could've shot her.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Ross and Emily make it to the lobby.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> (laughs) That uh, that was pretty funny. Wasn't it?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Emily gives him a forearm shot across the stomach.)</p>
|
|
<strong>
|
|
|
|
<p align="CENTER">Commercial Break</p>
|
|
</strong>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: The Wedding reception, Ross and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is yelling
|
|
at him. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are standing outside the doorway.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Emily:</b> (Yelling from inside the bathroom) You've spoiled everything! It's like a
|
|
nightmare! My friends and family are out there! How can I face them?! How can you do this
|
|
to me?!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey:</b> (To the gang) Hey, no matter what happens with Ross and Emily, we still get
|
|
cake right?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> (exiting the bathroom) That-that-that's all right, no honey, you take your
|
|
time sweetie. I'll be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) She's
|
|
just fixing her makeup.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Emily:</b> I hate you!!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> And, I love you!! (He walks into the living room)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Boy, bad time to say the wrong name, huh Ross?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> That's true, thanks dad. (To All) People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is
|
|
a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! (He starts to dance but stops when no one else joins him.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Mrs. Waltham's phone rings and she answers it.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham:</b> Yes, Waltham interiors.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe:</b> (On the phone, in New York) Uh, hello, this is Ross Geller's personal
|
|
physician, Dr. Philange.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham:</b> Who?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, I've discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine, uh, now
|
|
without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh women's names are interchangeable,
|
|
through-through no fault of his own.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham:</b> Oh my God, Phoebe.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, not Phoebe, Dr. Philange. Oh no! You have it too!</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Mrs. Waltham hangs up on her.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hello? <font color="#0000ff">What kind of bitch hangs up on a doctor!</font></p><font color="#0000ff">
|
|
</font>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Cut to Chandler and Monica at the buffet table.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Hey.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh wow, I hope you don't take this the wrong way but, I know we had plans
|
|
to meet up tonight and, ugh, I'm just kinda worried about what it might do to our
|
|
friendship.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> I know. How could we have let this happen?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Seven times!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Ugh! Well, y'know, we were away...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> In a <b>foreign</b>, romantic country...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> I blame London.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Bad London! (Takes a spoon and smacks the turkey.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> So look umm, while we're st-still in London, I mean, we can keep doing it
|
|
right?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, I don't see that we have a choice. But, when we're back home, we
|
|
don't do it.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Only here.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Y'know, I saw a wine cellar downstairs...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> I'll meet you there in two minutes.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay! </p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(He throws down his plate and runs to the wine cellar, Monica is about to follow him
|
|
but is intercepted by Rachel.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Mon, honey, I gotta ask you something.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> (impatiently) Now?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Ross said my name up there, I mean, come on, I just can't pretend that
|
|
didn't happen can I?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, I-I don't know.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Monica, what should I do?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Just uh, do the right thing. (Uses some breath spray)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> What?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Toe the line. Thread the needle. Think outside the box! (Tries to leave,
|
|
but is stopped by Rachel.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Whoa, wait, listen, I think I'm just gonna talk to Ross about what he think
|
|
it meant.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Wait. Rachel, no, he's married. Married! If you don't realise that, I can't
|
|
help you.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, you're right. You're right. You can't help me.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Geller:</b> Jack, is it all our fault? Were we bad parents?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Waltham:</b> (walking by) Yes.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Oh yeah, well who serves steak when there's no place to sit, I mean how
|
|
are you supposed to eat this?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, what's up? (He has solved the problem of eating the steak, he's eating
|
|
it with his hands.)</p>
|
|
<font color="#0000ff"><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: (motions to himself and Mrs. Geller and grins) You and me, next dance?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Cut to Rachel who is walking past Mrs. Waltham.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham</b>: Sweetheart, sweetheart...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Yes?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham</b>: You know, we're all wondering who this Rachel is. Can you point her
|
|
out to me?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Oh, you know what? Rachel.. She just left. (Points at the entrance.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham</b>: Oh.. Never mind. Who are you?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Ra.... Er.. Barbra.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham</b>: Red Barbra?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Yeah. (Smiles uneasily.)</p>
|
|
</font>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Cut to Monica and Chandler, Monica is running up to him.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Where were you? We were supposed to meet in the wine cellar?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Forget it, that's off.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Why?!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Waltham:</b> (drunkenly) The next tour of the wine cellar will plan in two in-in
|
|
minutes...</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Joey walks up to them.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldn't eat meat until
|
|
she has the babies!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey:</b> Well, I figured we're in another country, so it doesn't count.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> That's true.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> The man's got a point.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Cut to Rachel and Ross.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, hi!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Hi!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi. Sorry, things aren't working out so well.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Oh no! It could be better, but it's gonna be okay, right?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh yeah! Of course, I mean, she's gonna get over this, y'know? I mean, so
|
|
you said my name! Y'know you just said it 'cause you saw me there, if you'd have seen a
|
|
circus freak, you would've said, "I take thee circus freak." Y'know, it didn't
|
|
mean anything, it's just a mistake. It didn't mean anything. Right?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> No! No! Of course it didn't mean anything! I mean, uh well, I can understand
|
|
why Emily would think it meant something, y'know, because-because it was you...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Right...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> But it absolutely didn't. (Yelling towards the bathroom) It didn't!! It
|
|
didn't!!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey:</b> (approaching) Ross, hey, the band's ready outside for your first dance with
|
|
Emily, so...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> (sarcastic) Oh! Oh-oh, the band's ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what the band
|
|
says-I don't care about the stupid band!!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey:</b> You spit on me man! (Wipes his face.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Look, I'm sorry.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey:</b> Emily is kinda taking a long time, huh?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> (laughs) Y'know when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was
|
|
because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, right!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Get the hell out of there, y'know?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(They all start laughing, and quickly stop when they realise what she just said and run
|
|
over to the bathroom.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> (Bangs on the bathroom door) Emily? Emily? I'm coming in. (He opens the door
|
|
to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, look at that, same thing.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: <i>London Marriott</i>, Monica and Chandler are walking to her room.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Listen, in the middle of everything if I scream the word,
|
|
"Yippee!" just ignore me.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(She laughs and opens the door to reveal Rachel sitting on the bed.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Oh my God, Rachel! Hi!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, hello Rachel.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Ross said my name. Okay? <b>My</b> name. </p>
|
|
<font color="#0000ff"><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: How did you get in here?</p>
|
|
</font><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b><font color="#0000ff">: If anybody asks, I'm your sister, Joan. Listen.
|
|
C'mon, you guys. </font>Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still
|
|
loves me! </p>
|
|
<font color="#0000ff"><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: (to Monica) Your sister Joan is crazy.</p>
|
|
</font><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: (They both just stare at her.)<font color="#0000ff">Y'know what? Fine, I
|
|
don't care. </font>Don't believe me, I know I'm right-do you guys want to go downstairs
|
|
and get a drink?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes, we do. But, we have to change first.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Yes, I want to change. And why-why don't you go down and get us a table?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, we'll be down in like five minutes.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> (elbows him) Fifteen minutes.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(The phone rings and Rachel answers it.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Hello? Oh, Pheebs! (To them) It's Phoebe!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, yay...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Great...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hi, so what happened?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, Ross said my name.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, I know, but I don't think that means anything.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, Pheebs, y'know what, let's look at this objectively all right? Ninth
|
|
grade, right? The obsession starts. All right? The summer after ninth grade he sees me in
|
|
a two-piece for the first time, his obsession begins to grow. So then...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> (To Monica) Hey, listen, why don't we go change in my room?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> But my clothes are-ohh! (They both leave.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Cut to Chandler's room, he opens the door slowly to see if Joey is there and after
|
|
seeing that he isn't, ushers Monica into the room, closes the door, and the security bar.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Wow, you look...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> No time for that!</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(They both start to frantically rip each other's clothes off, but are interrupted when
|
|
Joey tries to open the door.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, dude, let me in. I got a girl out here!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, I've got a girl in here.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey:</b> No you don't, I just saw you go in there with Monica!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, we're-we're hanging out in here!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey:</b> Look, which one of us is gonna be having sex in there, me or you?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, I suppose I'd have to say you!! But, what if we're watching a movie
|
|
in here?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Which we are, and-and we already paid for it. It's <i>My Giant</i>!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey:</b> <i>My Giant</i>? I <b>love</b> that movie!</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Ross and Emily's room, Chandler and Monica are still looking for a place to do
|
|
the deed.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> You really think this is okay?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, Ross and Emily aren't gonna use it.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, it's so beautiful. Ohh! Y'know, I-I don't know if I feel right about
|
|
this.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh Mon-Mon-Mon-Mon-look, this is the honeymoon suite. The <b>room</b>
|
|
expects sex. The <b>room</b> would be disappointed if it didn't get sex. All of the other
|
|
honeymoon suites would think it was a loser.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Okay!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay!</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(They both run to rip the covers off the bed, but are interrupted by Ross.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> (entering) Emily?!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Nope, not under here!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> You didn't find her?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> No, I've looked everywhere!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, you couldn't have looked everywhere or else you would've found her!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah, I think you should keep looking!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, for about 30 minutes.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Or 45.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Wow, in 45 minutes you can find her twice. (Monica smiles at that.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> No! For all I know, she's trying to find me but couldn't because I kept
|
|
moving around. No, from now on, I'm staying in one place. (He sits down on the bed.) Right
|
|
here.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Well, it's getting late.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, we're gonna go.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Actually, do you guys mind staying here for a while?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Ugh, y'know, umm we gotta get up early and catch that plane for New York.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, it's a very large plane.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> (disappointed) That's cool.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> But, we'll stay here with you.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Thanks guys! (They both sit down on either side of him.) I really appreciate
|
|
this, y'know, but you don't have to rub my butt.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Chandler slowly takes his hand away.)</p>
|
|
<strong>
|
|
|
|
<p align="CENTER">Commercial Break</p>
|
|
</strong>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Ross and Emily's room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his head in
|
|
Monica's lap and his feet on Chandler's lap. Monica and Chandler are both still awake and
|
|
depressed.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> We have to leave for New York in an hour.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> I know, I've been looking at those doors, they look pretty sound proof,
|
|
don't you think?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> We can't do that that's insane. I mean 'A' he could wake up and 'B'
|
|
y'know, let's go for it.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(They both try to slowly extricate themselves from Ross, but there's a knock on the
|
|
door that awakens him.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Em-Emily? (Looking around for her.) Em-Emily? (He runs to the door.) Emily!
|
|
(He opens the door to reveal the Walthams standing outside.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Waltham:</b> No.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham:</b> You can forget about Emily, she's not with us.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Waltham:</b> We've come for her things.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Wait, well wh-wh-wh-where is she?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Waltham:</b> She's in hiding. She's utterly humiliated. She doesn't want to see you
|
|
ever again.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham:</b> We're very sad that it didn't work out between you and Emily, monkey.
|
|
But, I think you're absolutely delicious.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Waltham:</b> Excuse me, I'm standing right here!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham:</b> Oh yes, there you are.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> (entering, carrying an armful of those little soaps.) Hey-hey, you guys oh
|
|
hurry up, get some, there's a whole cart outside... (Sees the Walthams and stops.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Waltham:</b> Goodbye Geller.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Now, hold on! Hold on! (Stops him) Look, look, your daughter and I are
|
|
supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that I'm gonna be at
|
|
that airport and I hope that she'll be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachel's name, but it
|
|
didn't mean anything, Okay? She's-she's just a friend and that's all! (Rachel sits down,
|
|
depressed.) That's all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I can't imagine
|
|
spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that you'll tell her that.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Waltham:</b> All right, I'll tell her. (To his wife) Come on bugger face!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mrs. Waltham:</b> (As she walks pass Ross, she pats his but.) Call me.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Mr. Waltham:</b> You spend half your life in the bathroom, why don't you ever go out
|
|
the bloody window!</p>
|
|
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: A 747 somewhere over the North Atlantic, Monica and Chandler are sitting in
|
|
first class, depressed.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Y'know, maybe it's best that we never got to do it again.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, it kinda makes that-that one night special. (Realises something)
|
|
Y'know, technically we still <b>are</b> over international waters.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> I'm gonna go to the bathroom, maybe I'll see you there in a bit?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> 'Kay!</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Monica gets up and heads for the bathroom, Chandler turns to watch her go and is
|
|
startled to see Joey sitting in Monica's seat.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey:</b> Can I ask you something?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Uhh, no.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey:</b> Felicity and I, we're watching <i>My Giant</i>, and I was thinking, "I'm
|
|
never gonna be as good an actor as that giant." Do you think I'm just wasting my life
|
|
with this acting thing?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> No.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey:</b> I mean, the giant is like five years younger than me, y'know, you think I'll
|
|
ever get there?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey:</b> Thanks man. </p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay man. (Chandler starts to get up.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey:</b> But what about how much taller he is than me?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Time lapse, Chandler is finishing his third little bottle of booze.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey:</b> I mean, there's no way I can make myself taller now, y'know? And who knows
|
|
what science will come up with in the future, but Chandler, what if I die an unsuccessful,
|
|
regular sized man?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Monica returns.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, Monica, wow you've been in the bathroom for like a half-hour.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> I know!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey:</b> Had the beef-tips, huh?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: An airport in London, Ross is waiting for Emily to show up to go on their
|
|
honeymoon and sees Rachel walking past.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Rach! Rach!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> (she stops and turns) Hi!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Hi! What are you, what are you doing here?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, I-I-I've been on Standby for a flight home for hours. </p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Oh.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohh, so no sign of Emily huh?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Not yet.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> So umm, what time are you supposed to leave?</p>
|
|
<strong>
|
|
|
|
</strong><p><strong>Gate Agent:</strong> (On the P.A.) This is the last call for Flight 1066 to Athens. The
|
|
last call.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Pretty soon I guess.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah. I'm sorry.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> I just, I don't understand, I mean, how-how can she do this? Y'know, what, am
|
|
I, am I like a complete idiot for thinking that she'd actually show up?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> No, you're not an idiot, Ross. You're a guy very much in love.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Same difference.</p>
|
|
<strong>
|
|
|
|
</strong><p><strong>Gate Agent:</strong> (On the P.A.) All ticketed passengers for Flight 1066 to Athens
|
|
should now be on board.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> I get it! Well, that's that.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> No, you know what, I think you should go.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> What?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, I do. I think you should go, by yourself, get some distance, clear
|
|
your head, I think it'd be really good.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, I don't, I don't, I don't know...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, come on Ross! I think it would be <b>really</b> good for you!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> I could, yeah, I can do that.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> I can't, I can't even believe her! No, y'know what, I am, I am gonna go!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Good!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> I know, why not?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Right!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Right?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Right!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Y'know-thanks! (They hug)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, I'll see you back at home, if I ever get a flight out of here.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, well...nah.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> What? Wait, what?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Why don't you come, I mean, I-I have two tickets, why not?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Well-well, I don't know Ross-really?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, yeah, it'll be great! You can, you can lay on the beach and I can cry
|
|
over my failed marriage. See-see how I make jokes?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Uh-huh.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> No really, I mean, I mean, God, I could use a friend.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh wow, uh okay, uh maybe. Umm, yes, I can do that!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Okay!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Cool!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> All right!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Come on! (They go to the jetway, Ross hands the tickets to the gate agent.)
|
|
Here. </p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, okay, we're going. Yeah.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Ah! Ah! I forgot my jacket!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, wait-wait-wait...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> You tell them to wait!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay. Wait! Wait!</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Ross retrieves his jacket and sees that not only has Emily arrived, but she as seen
|
|
Rachel take her place on the plane.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Emily.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(She stares at him and Ross realises what she's thinking.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Oh no-no-no! Oh-no! (Emily starts to run out and Ross chases her.) No! No!
|
|
Emily!</p>
|
|
|
|
<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Flight 1066 to Athens, Rachel is ordering a drink for Ross and herself.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel:</b> Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot </p>
|
|
<font color="#0000ff"><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Air Hostess</b>: Okay.</p>
|
|
</font><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: And uh, (points to Ross's seat.) he will have a white wine spritzer. </p>
|
|
<font color="#0000ff"><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Air Hostess</b>: Okay, good. Thank you. I'll be back shortly, all right?</p>
|
|
</font><b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>:<font color="#0000ff"> All right. </font>Woo! (Looks out the window.) Hey,
|
|
look at that, the airport's moving. (Realises that that's not how it works.) Hey, are we
|
|
moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? <font color="#0000ff">They said they were gonna
|
|
wait! (yells after the air hostess) Miss?</font> Yeah, does the captain know that we're
|
|
moving? <font color="#0000ff">Oh my... Ross, you better be under the wheels of this
|
|
thing!!</font></p><font color="#0000ff">
|
|
</font>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is eating cereal from a bowl she has balanced on
|
|
her stomach as Joey, Chandler, and Monica return.]</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey:</b> Hi!</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(They all hug.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe:</b> (To Joey) You ate meat! (Joey is shocked) (To Chandler and Monica) You had
|
|
sex! (They're shocked.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> No we didn't!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe:</b> I know you didn't, I was talking about Monica.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Phoebe, I did not have sex.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe:</b> This pregnancy is throwing me all off.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey:</b> All right, I'm gonna go say hi the chick and the duck.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, me too!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Joey:</b> Why would you need to say hi to them, you've been feeding them for four days?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh right, maybe I'll just go home. </p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(She grabs her bag and leaves, Joey moves a little quicker to his apartment, leaving
|
|
Monica and Chandler alone.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Well, we certainly are alone.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes! Good thing we have that, 'Not in New York' rule.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Right. Umm, listen since we're-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to
|
|
tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my
|
|
brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Ross's mother...</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Right.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Well, an-anyway, I just-that night meant a lot to me, I guess I'm just
|
|
trying to say thanks.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh. Y'know, that night meant a lot to me too, and it wasn't because I was
|
|
in a bad place or anything, it just meant a lot to me 'cause, you're really hot! Is that
|
|
okay?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> (laughs) That's okay.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> And I'm cute too.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> And you're cute too.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Thank you! (They hug.) All right, I gotta go unpack.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> Okay.</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Bye. </p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(After he closes the door, Monica starts to follow him, but thinks better of it and
|
|
stops.)</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> (entering) I'm still on London time, does that count?</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Monica:</b> That counts!</p>
|
|
<b>
|
|
|
|
</b><p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, good! (They start kissing.)</p>
|
|
<strong>
|
|
|
|
<p align="CENTER">End</p>
|
|
</strong></font>
|
|
|
|
|
|
</body></html> |