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<!-- saved from url=(0055)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season4/404dance.htm -->
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<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
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<title>The One With The Ballroom Dancing</title>
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<meta name="GENERATOR" content="Microsoft FrontPage 3.0">
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<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
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<body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" link="#008000" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
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<h1 align="center"><strong>The One With The Ballroom Dancing</strong></h1>
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<hr>
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<p>Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen<br>
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Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com" style="color: rgb(0,128,0)">Eric Aasen</a></p>
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<hr>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there eating breakfast. Chandler is cleaning
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out his wallet.]</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey! New wallet, huh?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, it was time. The old condom ring in the leather just
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doesn’t say ‘cool’ anymore.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Rachel!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> You just put an empty carton back in the fridge!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh yeah, I know, but the garbage was full.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Have you ever taken out the trash? (Hands her the garbage.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, I thought you <b>liked</b> doing it. (Rachel starts out the door
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and stops.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Third door on the left.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Right!</p>
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<p>[Scene: Garbage room: Mr. Treeger is unclogging the trash chute as Rachel enters.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh! Hey, Mr. Treeger.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: Hey.</p>
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<p>(Rachel opens the trash chute, winces at the smell, and throws the garbage bag in. She
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then tries to throw the pizza box in, but since it’s so big she jams it into the
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opening and it prevents the door from closing. She then turns around too see Mr. Treeger
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watching her.)</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: What are you doing?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ummm. Oh! I’m sorry. (She grabs the box and offers him a piece.)
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It’s a little old but…</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: No! You’re clogging up the chute that I spent a half-hour
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unclogging!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I’m sorry. I didn’t—I don’t come in here a lot.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: Oh yeah, of course you don’t!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> No.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: ‘Cause you’re a little princess! "Daddy, buy me a
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pizza. Daddy, buy me a candy factory. Daddy, make the cast of <em>Cats</em> sing Happy
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Birthday to me…"</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I didn’t… I never said that.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: You think you could make a mess and the big man in coveralls will
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come in here and clean it up, huh? Well, why don’t think of someone else for a
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change?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (starting to cry) Okay, I’m sorry. (Runs out still carrying the
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pizza box.)</p>
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<p>[Cut to Monica and Rachel’s apartment as Rachel returns in tears.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> God! If you’re gonna cry about it! (She grabs the box and goes to
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through it out.]</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Continued from earlier, Rachel is now telling everyone of
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her experience in the garbage room.]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Whoa-whoa, Treeger made you cry?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes! And he said really mean things that were only partly true. </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I’m gonna go down there and teach that guy a lesson.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Joey, please don’t do that. I think it’s best that we just
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forget about it.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> That’s easy for you to say, you weren’t almost just killed.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> All right that’s it, school is in session! (Exits and slams the
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door.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (Picking up a card from Chandler’s wallet.) My God! Is this a gym
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card?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh yeah, gym member. I try to go four times a week, but I’ve
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missed the last 1200 times.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> So why don’t you quit?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> You don’t think I’ve tried? You think I <b>like</b> having
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50 dollars taken out of my bank account every month? No, they make you go all the way down
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there! Then they use all of these phrases and peppiness to try and confuse you! Then they
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bring out Maria.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Who is Maria?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh Maria. You can’t say no to her, she’s like this lycra
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spandex covered gym…treat.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> You need me to go down there with you and hold your hand?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> No!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> So you’re strong enough to face her on your own?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh no, you’ll have to come.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Treeger’s apartment, Joey knocks on the door and Treeger opens it.]</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: Tribbiani! Hold on, I’ll get the plunger.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey! You hold on pal! Now you made my friend, Rachel, cry. So now,
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you’re gonna go up there and apologize to her, unless you want me to call the
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landlord.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: And tell him what?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Have you heard about a little something called, Not Making Girls Cry.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: Yeah. Well maybe you have heard about the Rent Stabilization Act
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of 1968!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I have actually <b>not</b> heard of that.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: Yeah, well your friends are in violation of it. I’ve been a
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nice guy up until now, but uh, I don’t need this grief. I’m gonna call the
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landlord and tell him that Monica is illegally subletting here grandmother’s
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apartment. Your friends are outta here pal.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Why don’t you tell me something I don’t know! (He storms out,
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and once Treeger closes the door behind him, Joey makes an ‘Oops!’ have.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier, everyone is still eating
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breakfast.]</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh please, somebody tell me I don’t have to go to work today!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> What’s the matter?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, my first massage today is this incredibly gorgeous guy, and every
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time I see him I just want to do things to him that I’m not allowed to charge for.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> So do them for free.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh no, it is forbidden! No-no, Mrs. Potter fires people for fooling
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around with clients. And it’s against my oath as a masseuse.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> They make you take an oath?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, I made myself take an oath. Yeah, no fooling around with clients and
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umm, always be prepared. Yeah, that one’s actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just
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makes good sense.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Why don’t you just give him to somebody else?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, I can handle it. No, I’m a professional. (She starts to leave)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh Pheebs, is that a new ankle bracelet?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Wow! And you got a petticure. Your feet are all dressed up.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Because that’s the only part of you he can see when he’s on
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the table!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> You’re gonna do some feet flirtin’!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I don’t what your talking about. (Laughs nervously and continues to
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leaqve)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Then how do you explain the toe ring?!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Because it’s Arabian princess day at work! Okay?! Leave me alone!</p>
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<p>[Cut to later, Joey is returning from talking to Mr. Treeger.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh! My hero! What happened?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Well uh, I went down there and told him that no one treats my friends like
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that and that he’d better come up here and apologize. I’ll see you later.
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(Starts to leave)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> What a minute, what did he say?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> He said that he wasn’t gonna apologize because you guys are living
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here illegally, so instead what he’s gonna do is have you evicted—I’ll see
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you later.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?! You got us evicted!!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I told you not to go down there!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Well he made Rachel cry!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Rachel always cries!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> That’s not true! (Starts to cry.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Now Joey, you go down there and you suck up to him. I mean you suck like
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you’ve never sucked before!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> All right! I’ll try! But if I can’t, you can stay with Chandler
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and I until you get settled.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Go!!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> All right, all right, all right. (Starts to leave, stops, and turns
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around) I mean I’ll have to check with him first, but I’ll think he’ll be
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cool with it. (Monica shoos him out.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler’s gym, He and Ross are there to cancel his membership.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Whoa-whoa-whoa, hey! Now remember what we talked about, you gotta be
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strong.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes. (In a stronger voice) Yes!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> One more time, "Hey, don’t you want a washboard stomach and rock
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hard pecs?"</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> No! I want a flabby gut and saggy man breasts!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Good! That’s good!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay. (They go inside) (To the guy at the desk) I wanna quit the gym.</p>
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<p><b>Gym Employee:</b> You wanna quit?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I wanna quit the gym.</p>
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<p><b>Gym Employee:</b> You do realize that you won’t have access to our new full
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service Swedish spa.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (He turns to Ross and Ross makes a ‘Be strong’ sound.) I
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wanna quit the gym.</p>
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<p><b>Gym Employee:</b> Okay, Dave in the membership office, handles quitters. (Both
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Chandler and Ross start to make their way to the membership office.) Uh, excuse me, (to
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Ross) are you a member?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Me? No.</p>
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<p><b>Gym Employee:</b> Sorry, members only.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (horrified at the prospect of trying to quit alone and unsure about
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himself) I wanna quit the gym.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> It’s okay man, be strong. (Chandler goes into the office.)</p>
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<p><b>Gym Employee:</b> (to Ross) So, are you a member of any gym.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> No! And I’m not gonna be, so you can save you little speech.</p>
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<p><b>Gym Employee:</b> Okay, no problem. (To someone out of the picture) Could you come
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here for a second?</p>
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<p>(This gorgeous woman in spandex walks up)</p>
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<p><b>Woman:</b> Hi, I’m Maria.</p>
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<p>(Ross is at a loss for words.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Heeling Hands Inc., Phoebe’s work, she is giving a massage to the guy,
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Rick, she likes.]</p>
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<p><b>Rick:</b> (looking at her feet) Wow, you have really pretty feet.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> These old things.</p>
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<p><b>Rick:</b> Would you mind spending some time on my siadic area, it’s been
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killing me today.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You mean the—Okay by siadic, you mean the towel covered portion.</p>
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<p><b>Rick:</b> Yeah.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Sure, yeah, no I can do that, yeah, because umm, y'know, the muscles in
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the siadic area can get y’know, real (lifts up the towel) nice and tight. So umm,
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tell me Rick, how umm, how did you injure the area.</p>
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<p><b>Rick:</b> Oh, a 16-hour sit-in for Greenpeace.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh. (She goes to work, and her head slowly drops out of view.)</p>
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<p><b>Rick:</b> Ow! Did you just bite me?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No!</p>
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<p>[Scene: Mr. Treeger’s apartment, Joey is there to suck up.]</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: What?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Please don’t kick Monica and Rachel out, this wasn’t there
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fault, it was mine.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: You want me to kick you guys out instead?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> No you can’t do that, where would the chick and the duck live?</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: You have pets!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Noo-no-no, no, those are nicknames. I’m the chick and Chandler is the
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duck.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: Huh, I would’ve thought it was the other way around.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Come on man, just-just let the girls stay, I’ll do whatever you want.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: Really? You’ll do anything?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah-yeah, absolutely.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: Yeah, I’ve got something you can do.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> What, what is it?</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: Can you be my dancing partner?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> That’s not, prison lingo, is it?</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is telling Monica and Rachel what he has to do.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> His dancing partner?!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, there’s this superintendent’s dance, the Super Ball. I
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don’t know, and he wants to impress Marge, this lady super that he’s a crush on.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, why doesn’t he practice with a girl?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, he’s too shy, he doesn’t thing he’s good enough to
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dance with girls yet.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, right, he almost danced me right down that…garbage chute.
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(Starts to cry)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, would you let it go already?! You’re fine!</p>
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<p>(Chandler and Ross enter)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey! So, did you quit?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> No, I almost did, couldn’t leave Ross there without a spotter!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Wait, now so you joined the gym?</p>
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<p>(Rachel starts to laugh.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> And that’s funny, why?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, umm, I was just y’know working out and umm… Oh,
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that’s it.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> We’re doomed. Okay, they’re gonna take 50 bucks out of our
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accounts for the rest of our lives. What are we gonna do?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, you could actually <b>go</b> to the gym.</p>
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<p>(Chandler and Ross both laugh)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Or! Or, we could go to the bank, close our accounts and cut them off at
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the source.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> You’re a genius!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Aww, man, now we won’t be bank buddies!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Now, there’s two reasons.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (entering) Hey.</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ohh, you guys, remember that cute client I told you about? I bit him.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Where?!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> On the touchy.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> And <b>that’s</b> not against your oath?!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, I know! I-I’m sorry, but the moment I touch him, I just wanna
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throw out my old oath and take a new, dirty one.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, next time your massaging him, you should try and distract
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yourself.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Like-like when I’m doing something exciting and I
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don’t wanna get <b>too</b> excited, I just ahh, y’know try to thing of other
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things like ah sandwiches, and ah baseball, and ah Chandler!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Thank you, Joey.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> No-no, thank you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Treeger’s apartment, Joey knocks and Mr. Treeger opens the door.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right, I’m here, let’s ahh, get this over with.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: Okay ahh, well, just ahh, follow my lead. (Turns on some music)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Whoa-whoa, don’t we need to do some kinda preparation first? Like
|
||
ahh, get really drunk?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: Look come on, eh, just ah, just ah, put your arms around me, eh.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Joey does so, and they both start dancing. Treeger tries to spin Joey, but ends up
|
||
throwing him into the door.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: Ahhhh! I’m sorry!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No, it’s okay, but if I’m Marge, my breasts are coming out my
|
||
back.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: Ahh, forget it! I’ll never be any good at this, my mom was
|
||
right, I’m just a big potato with arms, and legs, and a head.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Come on man, you’re not a potato.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: I’m sure as hell a dancer, it’s no use Marge will never
|
||
go for me.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Come on Treeger, don’t say that. You just ahh, you just need more
|
||
practice. Here, come on, let’s ahh, let’s try it again. Come on. (they start
|
||
dancing again) Plus, it was, it was probably mostly my fault, anyway. I mean, y’know,
|
||
I’m not really that comfortable dancing with a—(Treeger throws him) We-he!! Hey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: Yeah!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Monica are sitting at the table as Joey
|
||
enters.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey-hey, how goes the dancing? Gay yet?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ah-ha-ha, you guys owe me big time. (He walks into the kitchen and does a
|
||
little dance step on the way.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (laughing) What was that?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You just did a little dancy thing.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No I didn’t.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yes you did! You did like a little hop.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You are soo enjoying this.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No, I’m not! And it wasn’t a hop it was a pademarie. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (laughing harder) You know the words! You are <b>so</b> into this!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right, well maybe I’m enjoying it a little bit. I mean I’m
|
||
getting pretty good at it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ooh, this is soo sweet, Joey our little twinkle-toes.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey-hey, hold on, this isn’t some kind of like girly dance. All
|
||
right, it’s like a sport, it’s manly!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> All right, then show me some manly moves.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(They both get up and Monica expects Joey to take the lead, but he doesn’t, and
|
||
they fumble around for a little bit.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I don’t know how to lead.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Ross and Chandler’s bank, they are there to close their accounts.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hello.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hi.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> We’d like to close our accounts.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Bank Officer:</b> Close your accounts? Is there some kind of problem?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No-no.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No, we’d just like to close them.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Bank Officer:</b> Okay, Ms. Lambert handles all our closures. (to a beautiful woman)
|
||
Would you come over here please?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ms. Lambert:</b> Hi, I’m Karen.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I wanna quit the bank!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Healing Hands, Inc., Phoebe is giving Rick a massage.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (thinking to herself) Okay, baseball. Rick, playing baseball. Okay,
|
||
slides into second, maybe even his pants come down a little… Oh no—wait no, no!
|
||
No! Okay, all right, sandwiches, sandwiches. Umm, okay, on a plate, maybe Rick’s
|
||
pants come down a little. No! No! Okay, Chandler! Okay Chandler, ooh, that’s working.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(The camera zooms in on the clock on the wall and it reads a quarter after one. Time
|
||
lapse. The clock now reads 3:30, and Phoebe is still giving Rick his massage.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (thinking to herself) Chandler’s knees. Chandler’s…
|
||
ankles. Chandler’s ankle hair. (notices the clock) Oh no. (to Rick) Okay, you’re
|
||
all set.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rick:</b> Oh wow! That was amazing, was that really just an hour?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah! In… really long hour world.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rick:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ugh, okay, I have an enormous crush on you. But because you’re a
|
||
client, I can’t ask you out, even though you give me y’know, the feeling.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rick:</b> Wow! I had no idea! But you know, I could always find another masseuse. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Really?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rick:</b> Yeah, really.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(They start to kiss, then Rick stops suddenly.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rick:</b> Suddenly, I very aware that I’m naked.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (laughs) Okay, quit down. (they start to kiss again)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Suddenly, Phoebe’s boss, Mrs. Potter, and a client, Mr. Simon, enters.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mrs. Potter:</b> Mr. Simon’s been waiting for—(sees Phoebe and Rick) Oh my
|
||
God!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Simon:</b> Why wasn’t I offered that? I’d definitely pay more for
|
||
that.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mrs. Potter:</b> Phoebe, we have rules here, this isn’t that kind of place.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh yeah, oh and I know, but this isn’t what it looks like,
|
||
‘cause Rick is my ahh, husband.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mrs. Potter:</b> Oh really? Well, then you’d better tell his other wife,
|
||
‘cause she called three times asking where he is.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yes, I will tell her.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are telling Joey, Rachel, and Monica of
|
||
their bank woes.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> So you <b>didn’t</b> leave the bank?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No! And somehow, we ended up with a joint checking account.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What are you ever gonna use that for?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> To pay for the gym.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Phoebe enters)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey! So I had a great day, Rick and I really hit it off, and we started
|
||
making out, and then my boss walked in and fired me for being a whore.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> What?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You got fired?! </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh my Gosh!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> It’s so weird, I have never been fired from anything before!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Sweety...</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I just-I just started walking around not knowing what to do next,
|
||
y’know? I-I started asking people on the street if they wanted massages. Then these
|
||
policemen, thought I was a whore too. It’s been a really bad day, whore wise.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(There’s a knock on the door and Chandler answers it.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: Hey Duck, is Chick here?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah… Bunny-rabbit.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (To Mr. Treeger) So you ah, ready for our last practice?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: Yeah, but y’know, I think the reason we’re not getting
|
||
that spin right is because my apartment’s too small.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Look, you wanna use our place?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: No, I ahh, had another idea.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to the roof, where Joey and Mr. Treeger are dancing happily to ^Night and Day^.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> We did it!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: I know, we did it!! Hey, that was incredible, huh?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I know, it was amazing! I mean, we totally nailed it, it was beautiful.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: Thank you, listen, thanks a lot Tribbiani, (checks watch). Oh my
|
||
God, look at the time, I gotta catch the bus to the ball.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh well, okay, good luck.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: Yeah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Unless you wanna practice the Foxtrot again? Or-or the Tango?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: Ahh, thanks but no. You see I-I think I’m ready to dance with
|
||
girls.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: Yeah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Go get ‘em Treeger.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: Right. (Starts to leave) Hey, ahh, you wanna come? Marge has a
|
||
girlfriend.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (intrigued) Really?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Treeger:</b>: Yeah, you could dance real good with her, she’s the same size
|
||
as me.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No, I’m good.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Treeger leaves, and Joey’s dances off.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Closing Credits</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Lara and Jeni’s Massage, Phoebe is interviewing for a job.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Interviewer:</b> So it looks like you’ve got some great experience here.
|
||
Let’s see ahh, reason for leaving last job?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, they thought I was a whore.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Interviewer:</b> Okay, we’ll give a call if anything comes up.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Great! Thank you very much.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(The interviewer watches her leave with an ‘Oh my goodness’ face.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
|
||
</body></html> |