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<!-- saved from url=(0055)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season1/103thumb.htm -->
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<title>The One With The Thumb</title>
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<body bgcolor="white" text="black" link="green" vlink="black" alink="yellow" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
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<h1 align="center">The One With the Thumb</h1>
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<hr align="center">
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<font size="3"><i>
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</i></font><p><font size="3"><i></i>Written by: Jeffrey Astrof & Mike Sikowitz. <br>
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Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">guineapig</a></font></p>
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<hr>
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<font size="3"><b>
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</b><p align="left"><b></b>[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.] </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (entering) Hi guys! </p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Hey, Pheebs! Hi! </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go? </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said 'We should do this
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again!' </p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Ohh. Ouch. </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What? He said 'we should do it again', that's good, right? </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Uh, no. Loosely translated 'We should do this again' means 'You will
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never see me naked'. </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Since when? </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Since always. It's like dating language. Y'know, like 'It's not you' means
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'It is you'. </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Or 'You're such a nice guy' means 'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing
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alcoholics and complaining about them to you'. </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Or, or, y'know, um, 'I think we should see other people' means 'Ha, ha,
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I already am'. </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> And everybody knows this? </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah. Cushions the blow. </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, it's like when you're a kid, and your parents put your dog to
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sleep, and they tell you it went off to live on some farm. </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> That's funny, that, no, because, uh, our parents actually did, uh, send
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our dog off to live on a farm. </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Uh, Ross. </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What? Wh- hello? The Millners' farm in Connecticut? The Millners, they had
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this unbelievable farm, they had horses, and, and rabbits that he could chase and it was-
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it w- .....Oh my God, Chi Chi! </p>
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<p align="center"><b>Opening Credits</b> </p>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is helping Joey rehearse for a part.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> "So how does it feel knowing you're about to die?" </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> "Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you'll have to
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live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die." </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, that was really good! </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Thanks! Let's keep going. </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay. "So. Whaddya want from me, Damone, huh?" </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> "I just wanna go back to my cell. 'Cause in my cell, I can
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smoke." </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> "Smoke away." </p>
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<p>(Joey takes out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He fumbles and drops the
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lighter. Then he lights a cigarett, takes a drag, and coughs.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I think this is probably why Damone smokes in his cell alone. </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> What? </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Relax your hand! </p>
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<p>(Joey lets his wrist go limp.) </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Not so much! </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Whoah! </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey! </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey! </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Alright, now try taking a puff. </p>
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<p>(Joey tries and visibly winces.) </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Alright.. okay. No. Give it to me. </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> No no no, I am not giving you a cigarette. </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> It's fine, it's fine. Look, do you wanna get this part, or not? Here. </p>
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<p>(Joey reluctantly gives him the cigarette.) </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Don't think of it as a cigarette. Think of it as the thing that's been
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missing from your hand. When you're holding it, you feel right. You feel complete. </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Y'miss it? </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Nah, not so much. Alright, now we smoke. (Takes a puff.) Oh.. my..
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God. (He continues to smoke.) </p>
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<p>[Scene, Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Rachel is there.] </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a
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guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger. </p>
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<p>(The guys stretch out their fingers.) </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> That's ridiculous! </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Can I use.. either thumb? </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (carrying a tray of drinks) Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me!
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(Starts handing them out.) Decaf cappucino for Joey.. Coffee black.. Late.. And an iced
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tea. I'm getting pretty good at this! </p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Yeah. Yeah, excellent. </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (leaving to serve others) Good for me! </p>
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<p>(The gang swaps all the drinks for what they ordered as Phoebe enters. She sits
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down without saying hi.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Y'okay, Phoebe? </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah- no- I'm just- it's, I haven't worked- It's my bank. </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> What did they do to you? </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> It's nothing, it's just- Okay. I'm going through my mail, and I open up
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their monthly, you know, STATEMENT- </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Easy. </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> - and there's five hundred extra dollars in my account. </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, Satan's minions at work again... </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them. </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> What are you talking about? Keep it! </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> It's not mine, I didn't earn it, if I kept it, it would be like
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stealing. </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping! </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay. Okay, let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes. Do you know
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what I'd hear, with every step I took? 'Not-mine. Not-mine. Not-mine.' And even if I was
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happy, okay, and, and skipping- 'Not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine,
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not-not-mine'... </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> We're with you. We got it. </p>
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<p>(Chandler leans over the back of the couch out of sight.) </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay. I'd- just- I'd never be able to enjoy it. It would be like this
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giant karmic debt. </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Chandler, what are you doing? </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (puling him up) Hey. Whaddya doing? </p>
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<p>(Chandler tries to shrug nonchalantly but eventually he has to exhale a mouthful of
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smoke.)</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Oh! Oh, God! </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What is this?! </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I'm smoking. I'm smoking, I'm smoking. </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, I can't believe you! You've been so good, for three years! </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> And this- is my reward! </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hold on a second, alright? Just think about what you went through the last
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time you quit. </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, so this time I won't quit! </p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Ohhh! Put it out! </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> All right! I'm putting it out, I'm putting it out. (He drops it in
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Phoebe's coffee.) </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, no! I- I can't drink this now! </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Alright. I'm gonna go change, I've got a date. </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> This Alan again? How's it goin'? </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> 'S'going pretty good, y'know? It's nice, and, we're having fun. </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> So when do we get to meet the guy? </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Let's see, today's Monday... Never. </p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Oh, come on! Come on! </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> No. Not after what happened with Steve. </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> What are you talking about? We love Schhteve! Schhteve was schhexy!..
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Sorry. </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Look, I don't even know how I feel about him yet. Just give me a chance
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to figure that out. </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, then can we meet him? </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Nope. Schhorry. </p>
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<p>[Scene: Iridium, Monica and Paula are at work.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and
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within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the
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weak members of the herd. </p>
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<p><b>Paula:</b> Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef, I'll
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tell you: that is not such a terrible thing. I mean, they're your friends, they're just
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looking out after you. </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I know. I just wish that once, I'd bring a guy home that they actually
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liked. </p>
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<p><b>Paula:</b> Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if
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they never get to meet the guy.. </p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is smoking out on the balcony, Phoebe is absent.]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Let it go, Ross. </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, well, you didn't know Chi Chi. </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Do you all promise? </p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Yeah! We promise! We'll be good! </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (shouts to Chandler) Chandler? Do you promise to be good? </p>
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<p>(Chandler makes a 'Cross my heart' sign. It starts to rain and he taps on the
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window.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> You can come in, but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside! </p>
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<p>(Chandler sulkilty picks up a garbage can lid and uses it as an umbrella.)</p>
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<p>(Phoebe enters, walks to the couch, sits down, and begins to read a letter without
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saying hi.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, Pheebs. </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> 'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have
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credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and
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hope you'll accept this- (Searches in her purse) -<i>football phone</i> as our free gift.'
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Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone! </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What bank is this? </p>
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<p>(The intercom buzzes.) </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey. It's him. (On the intercom) Who is it? </p>
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<p><strong>Alan: </strong>(on the intercom) It's Alan. </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (shouting to Chandler) Chandler! He's here! </p>
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<p>(Chandler comes in, dripping wet.) </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (to all) Okay, please be good, <i>please</i>. Just remember how much you
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all like me. </p>
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<p>(She opens the door and Alan enters.) </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hi. Alan, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Alan. </p>
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<p><b>Alan:</b> Hi. </p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Hi, Alan. </p>
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<p><b>Alan:</b> I've heard schho much about all you guyschh! </p>
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<p>(Everyone laughs.)</p>
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<p>[Time lapse, Alan is leaving.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (to Alan) Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow. (Alan exits, to all) Okay.
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Okay, let's let the Alan-bashing begin. Who's gonna take the first shot, hmm? </p>
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<p>(Silence.) </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> C'mon! </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> ...I'll go. Let's start with the way he kept picking at- no, I'm sorry, I
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can't do this, can't do this. We loved him. </p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Loved him! Yeah! He's great! </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Wait a minute! We're talking about someone that <i>I'm</i> going out
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with? </p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Yeah! </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> And did you notice...? (She spreads her thumb and index finger.) </p>
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<p><strong>The Guys:</strong> (reluctantly) Yeah. </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Know what was great? The way his smile was kinda crooked. </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe! </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> ...What shoe? </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> From the nursery rhyme. 'There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked
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smile, Who lived in a shoe, For a... while...' </p>
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<p>(Dubious pause.) </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> ...So I think Alan will become the yardstick against which all future
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boyfriends will be measured. </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What future boyfriends? Nono, I th- I think this could be, y'know, it. </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Really! </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhof impression alone.
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You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right? (Does the impression) </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> You know what I like most about him, though? </p>
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<p><b>All:</b> What? </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> The way he makes me feel about myself. </p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Yeah... </p>
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<p align="center"><b>Commercial Break</b> </p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is alone as Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Joey enter
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dejectedly in softball gear.] </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hi.. how was the game? </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Well.. </p>
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<p><b>All:</b> WE WON!! Thank you! Yes! </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Fantastic! I have one question: How is that possible? </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Alan. </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> He was unbelievable. He was like that-that-that Bugs Bunny cartoon where
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Bugs is playing all the positions, right, but instead of Bugs it was first base-Alan,
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second base-Alan, third base-... </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I mean, it-it was like, it was like he made us into a team. </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yep, we sure showed those Hassidic jewellers a thing or two about
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softball.. </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Can I ask you guys a question? D'you ever think that Alan is maybe..
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sometimes.. </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What? </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> ..I dunno, a little too Alan? </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, no. That's impossible. You can never be too Alan. </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, it's his, uh, innate Alan-ness that-that-that we adore. </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I personally could have a gallon of Alan. </p>
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<p>[Scene: A street, Phoebe walks up to a homeless person (Lizzie) she knows.] </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey, Lizzie. </p>
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<p><b>Lizzie:</b> Hey, Weird Girl. </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I brought you alphabet soup. </p>
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<p><b>Lizzie:</b> Did you pick out the vowels? </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yes. But I left in the Ys. 'Cause, y'know, "sometimes y". Uh,
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I also have something else for you. (She searches in her purse.) </p>
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<p><b>Lizzie:</b> Saltines? </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, but would you like a thousand dollars and a football phone? </p>
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<p><b>Lizzie:</b> What? (She opens the envelope Phoebe has given her.) Oh my God, there's
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really money in here. </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I know. </p>
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<p><b>Lizzie:</b> Weird Girl, what are you doing? </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, I want you to have it. I don't want it. </p>
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<p><b>Lizzie:</b> No, no, I ha-I have to give you something. </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, that's fine, no. </p>
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<p><b>Lizzie:</b> Would you like my tin-foil hat? </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No. 'Cause you need that. No, it's okay, thanks. </p>
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<p><b>Lizzie:</b> Please, let me do something. </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, alright, you buy me a soda, and then we're even. Okay? </p>
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<p><b>Lizzie:</b> Okay. </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay. </p>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler's office, Chandler looks around, opens his desk drawer, takes a puff
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of a cigarette, sprays around some air freshener, and takes some breath spray. He
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types for a little while, opens the drawer again, and takes another drag of the cigarette.
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While not paying attention, he sprays the breath spray around the room, takes a
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squirt of air freshener and gags.]</p>
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<p>[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Lizzie are at a hot dog vendor.]</p>
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<p><b>Lizzie:</b> Keep the change. (To Phoebe) Sure you don't wanna pretzel? </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, I'm fine. </p>
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<p><b>Lizzie:</b> (leaves) See ya. </p>
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<p>(Phoebe opens the can and reacts.) </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Huh! </p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is telling everyone about her discovery.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> A <i>thumb</i>?! </p>
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<p>(Phoebe nods.) </p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Eww! </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there,
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like this tiny little hitch-hiker! </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, maybe it's a contest, y'know? Like, collect all five? </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Does, um, anyone wanna see? </p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Nooo! </p>
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<p>(Chandler lights a cigarette.)</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Oh, hey, don't do that! Cut it out! </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> It's worse than the thumb! </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, this is so unfair! </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, why is it unfair? </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> So I have a flaw! Big deal! Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking
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isn't annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? And Monica, with
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that snort when she laughs? I mean, what the hell is that thing? ...I accept all those
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flaws, why can't you accept me for this? </p>
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<p>(An awkward silence ensues.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> ...Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody? </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, I-I could live without it. </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, is it, like, a little annoying, or is it like when Phoebe chews her
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hair? </p>
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<p>(Phoebe spits out her hair.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, I think it's endearing. </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, (Imitating Ross) "you do, do you"? </p>
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<p>(Monica laughs and snorts.) </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> You know, there's nothing wrong with speaking correctly. </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> "Indeed there isn't"... I should really get back to work. </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, 'cause otherwise someone might get what they actually ordered. </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohh-ho-hooohhh. The hair comes out, and the gloves come on. </p>
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<p>(They degenerate into bickering and Chandler happily starts to smoke, undisturbed.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Iridium, Monica and Paula are working.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Did you ever go out with a guy your friends all really like? </p>
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<p><b>Paula:</b> No. </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay.. Well, I'm going out with a guy my friends all really like. </p>
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<p><b>Paula:</b> Waitwait.. we talking about the coyotes here? All right, a cow got
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through! </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Can you believe it? ...Y'know what? I just don't feel <i>the thing</i>.
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I mean, they feel the thing, I don't feel the thing. </p>
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<p><b>Paula:</b> Honey.. you should always feel <i>the thing</i>. Listen, if that's how
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you feel about the guy, Monica, dump him! </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I know.. it's gonna be really hard. </p>
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<p><b>Paula:</b> Well, he's a big boy, he'll get over it. </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> No, he'll be fine. It's the other five I'm worried about. </p>
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<p>[Scene: Cental Perk, Joey and Ross are persecuting Chandler about his smoking.]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Do you have any respect for your body? </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Don't you realise what you're-you're doing to yourself? </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, y'know, I have had it with you guys and your cancer and your
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|
emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it. </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (holding the phone out to Chandler) Chandler? It's Alan, he wants to
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|
speak to you. </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Really? He does? (taking the phone) Hey, buddy, what's up! Oh, she
|
|
told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it's
|
|
not that big- ..well, that's true,.. Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that
|
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before. Well, okay, thanks! (He hands the phone back and stubs out his cigarette.) </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (to Ross, who has wandered up) God, he's good. </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> If only he were a woman. </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah. </p>
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<p>(They give each other a dubious look.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyond except Monica and Joey is watching Lambchop.] </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Ooh, Lambchop. How old is that sock? If I had a sock on my hand for
|
|
thirty years it'd be talking too. </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay. I think it's time to change somebody's nicotine patch. (Does so.) </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (entering) Hey. Where's Joey? </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was
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|
wrong? </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I think he's across the hall. </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Thanks. (Goes to fetch him.) </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (finishing changing Chandler's nicotine patch) There y'go. </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (deadpan) Ooh, I'm alive with pleasure now. </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart?.. Pheebs? </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart? </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, I might! </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Sorry. ..Y'know, those stupid soda people gave me seven thousand dollars
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|
for the thumb. </p>
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<p><b>All:</b> You're kidding. Oh my God. </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the
|
|
universe?! </p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>Joey:</b> (dragged in by Monica, he has just gotten out of the shower) What's going
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|
on? </p>
|
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Nothing. I just think it's nice when we're all here together. </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Even nicer when everyone gets to wear their underwear.. </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Uh, Joey.. </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, God! (Hurriedly closes his legs.) </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (turns off the TV) Okay.. </p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Oh! That was Lambchop! </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Please, guys, we have to talk. </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wait, wait, I'm getting a <i>deja vu</i>...no, I'm not. </p>
|
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|
<p><b>Monica:</b> Alright, we have to talk. </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> There it is! </p>
|
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|
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay. It's-it's about Alan. There's something that you should know. I
|
|
mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh.. I've decided to break up with Alan. </p>
|
|
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|
<p>(They all gasp and clutch each other.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Ross:</b> Is there somebody else? </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Monica:</b> No, nononono.. it's just.. things change. People change. </p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>Rachel:</b> We didn't change.. </p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>Joey:</b> So that's it? It's over? Just like that? </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You know.. you let your guard down, you start to really care about
|
|
someone, and I just- I- (starts chewing her hair) </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Monica:</b> Look, I- I could go on pretending- </p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay! </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Monica:</b> -but that wouldn't be fair to me, it wouldn't be fair to Alan- It
|
|
wouldn't be fair to you! </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Ross:</b> Who-who wants fair? Y'know, I just want things back. Y'know, the way they
|
|
were. </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Monica:</b> I'm sorry.. </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (sarcastic) Oh, she's sorry! I feel better! </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (tearful) I just can't believe this! I mean, with the holidays coming
|
|
up- I wanted him to meet my family- </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Monica:</b> I'll meet somone else. There'll be other Alans. </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>All:</b> Oh, yeah! Right! </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Monica:</b> Are you guys gonna be okay? </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey hey, we'll be fine. We're just gonna need a little time. </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Monica:</b> (dubious) I understand. </p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica is breaking the news to Alan.]</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Alan:</b> Wow. </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Monica:</b> I'm, I'm really sorry. </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Alan:</b> Yeah, I'm sorry too. But, I gotta tell you, I am a little relieved. </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Monica:</b> Relieved? </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Alan:</b> Yeah, well, I had a great time with you.. I just can't stand your friends.
|
|
</p>
|
|
|
|
<p align="center"><b>Closing Credits </b></p><b>
|
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|
|
</b><p><b></b>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is mopping around and eating ice cream.] </p>
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|
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|
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Remember when we went to Central Park and rented boats?.. That was fun. </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah. He could row like a viking. </p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>Monica:</b> (entering) Hi. </p>
|
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|
<p><b>All:</b> Mmm. </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Ross:</b> So how'd it go? </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, y'know.. </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Did he mention us? </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Monica:</b> He said he's really gonna miss you guys. (dubious look) </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Ross:</b> You had a rough day, huh.. c'mere. (She sits down and Ross strokes her
|
|
forehead.) </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Chandler:</b> ...That's it. I'm getting cigarettes. </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>All:</b> No no no! </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (leaving) I don't care, I don't care! Game's over! I'm weak! I've
|
|
gotta smoke! I've gotta have the smoke! </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (shouting as he leaves) If you never smoke again I'll give you seven
|
|
thousand dollars! </p>
|
|
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</font><p><font size="3"><b>Chandler:</b> (returns) Yeah, alright.</font></p>
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<p align="center"><strong><font size="3">End</font></strong></p>
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</body></html> |