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<title>The One With the Boobies</title>
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<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
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<body bgcolor="white" text="black" link="green" vlink="black" alink="yellow" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
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<h1 align="center">The One With the Boobies</h1>
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<hr align="center">
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<p>Written by: Alexa Junge<br>
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Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">guineapig</a></p>
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<hr>
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<font size="3">
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<p align="left">[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler walks in and starts raiding the
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fridge. Then Rachel comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped round her waist, drying
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herself with another towel. Chandler and Rachel startle each other and she drops the towel
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for a second and snatches the rug off the couch.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> That is <strong>it</strong>! You just barge in here, you don't knock</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I'm sorry!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> You have no respect for anybody's privacy!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Rachel, wait, wait.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> No, you wait! This is ridiculous!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Can I just say one thing?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What? What?!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> That's a relatively open weave and I can still see your... nipular
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areas.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh!!</p>
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<p>(She storms off)</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with her boyfriend Roger, talking to Rachel and
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Monica.]</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, honey, honey, tell them the story about your patient who thinks
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things are, like, other things. Y'know? Like, the phone rings and she takes a shower.</p>
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<p><b>Roger:</b> That's pretty much it.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oops!</p>
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<p><b>Roger:</b> But you tell it really well, sweetie.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Thanks. Okay, now go away so we can talk about you.</p>
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<p><b>Roger:</b> Okay. I'll miss you.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Isn't he great?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> He's so cute! And he seems to like you so much.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I know, I know. So sweet... and so complicated. And for a shrink, he's
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not too shrinky, y'know?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> So, you think you'll do it on his couch?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, I don't know, I don't know. I think that's a little weird, y'know?
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Vinyl.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okaaay. (To the guys, on the couch) Any of you guys want anything else?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, yes, could I have one of those. (Points)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> No, I'm sorry, we're all out of those. Anybody else?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay.</p>
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<p><b>Roger:</b> Did I, uh, did I miss something?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> No, she's still upset because I saw her boobies.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> You what? Wh what were you doing seeing her boobies?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> It was an accident. Not like I was across the street with a telescope
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and a box of donuts.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, okay, could we change the subject, please?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, 'cause hello, these are not her boobies, these are her breasts.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, Pheebs, I was hoping for more of a change.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Y'know, I don't know why you're so embarrassed, they were very nice
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boobies.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Nice? They were nice. I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are nice.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okaaay, (Gestures) rock, hard place, me.</p>
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<p><b>Roger:</b> You're so funny! He's really funny! I wouldn't wanna be there when when
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the laughter stops.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Whoah whoah, back up there, Sparky. What'd you mean by that?</p>
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<p><b>Roger:</b> Oh, just seems as though that maybe you have intimacy issues. Y'know,
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that you use your humour as a way of keeping people at a distance.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Huh.</p>
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<p><b>Roger:</b> I mean hey! I just met you, I don't know you from Adam. ...Only child,
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right? Parents divorced before you hit puberty.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Uhhuh, how did you know that?</p>
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<p><b>Roger:</b> It's textbook.</p>
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<p>(Joey enters with his dad)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey you guys. Hey, you all know my dad, right?</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Hey! Hey, Mr. Trib!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey, how long are you in the city?</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Tribbiani:</b> Just for a coupla days. I got a job midtown. I figure I'm better
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off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry. (Sees Roger) I
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don't know this one.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, this is my friend Roger.</p>
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<p><b>Roger:</b> Hi. </p>
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<p><b>Mr. Tribbiani:</b> Hey, hey. Good to meet you, Roger.</p>
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<p><b>Roger:</b> You too, sir.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Tribbiani:</b> (To Phoebe) What happened to the, uh, puppet guy?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Dad, dad. (Shakes his head)</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Tribbiani:</b> Oh, 'scuse me. So Ross, uh, how's the wife? (Ross whines and lays
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his head on Chandler's shoulder) Off there too, uh? Uh, Chandler, quick, say something
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funny!</p>
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<p>(Chandler stays stonefaced)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Mr. Tribbiani is on the phone.]</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Tribbiani:</b> Gotta go. I miss you too, I love you, but it's getting real late
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now</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (Snatches the phone) Hey Ma. Listen, I made the appointment with Dr.
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Bazida, and... Excuse me? (To his dad) Did you know this isn't Ma?</p>
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<p>(His dad nods. Cut to later. Joey is chopping mushrooms)</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Tribbiani:</b> Her name's Ronni. She's a pet mortician. </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Sure. So how long you been... (Goes back to chopping)</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Tribbiani:</b> Remember when you were a little kid, I used to take you to the
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navy yard and show you the big ships?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Since then?!</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Tribbiani:</b> No, it's only been six years. I just wanted to put a nice memory
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in your head so you'd know that I wasn't always such a terrible guy. ...Joe. Y'ever been
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in love?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> ...I d'know.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Tribbiani:</b> Then y'haven't. You're burning your tomatoes.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> You're one to talk. (Puts the mushrooms in a saucepan)</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Tribbiani:</b> Joe, your dad's in love big time. And the worst part of it is,
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it's with two different women.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh man. Please tell me one of 'em is Ma.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Tribbiani:</b> Of course, course one of 'em's Ma. What's the matter with you.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is lamenting to everyone about hid dad's affair.]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this
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double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be
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cool.... This blows!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? (She walks over
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near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously on her chest) Why do they have to become
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people? Why do they have... (Notices Chandler) Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (Without looking up) What? (Looks up) What?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Did you not get a good enough look the other day?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Alright, alright. We're all adults here, there's only one way to resolve
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this. Since you saw her boobies, I think, uh, you're gonna have to show her your peepee.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Y'know, I don't see that happening?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> C'mon, he's right. Tit for tat.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well I'm not showing you my 'tat.'</p>
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<p>(Door buzzer goes)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hello?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (Intercom) It's Phoebe.</p>
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<p><b>Roger:</b> (Intercom) And Rog.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> C'mon up.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (Sarcastic) Oh, good. Rog is here.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> What's the matter with Rog?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, it's nothing, it's a little thing... I hate that guy.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What, so he was a little analytical. That's what he does, y'know? C'mon,
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he's not that bad.</p>
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<p>(Cut to Chandler, Ross and Roger sitting at the table. Ross is upset)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Y'see, that's where you're wrong. Why would I marry her if I thought on
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any level thatthat she was a lesbian?</p>
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<p><b>Roger:</b> I dunno. Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Why? Why would I why? Why? Why? Why?</p>
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<p><b>Roger:</b> I don't know. Maybe maybe low self-esteem, maybe maybe to compensate for
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overshadowing a sibling, maybe you...</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Wait-wait, go back to that sibling thing.</p>
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<p><b>Roger:</b> Well, I don't know. I mean, it's conceivable that you wanted to sabotage
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your marriage so that the sibling would feel less of a failure in the eyes of the parents.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> That that's ridiculous! I don't feel guilty for her failures!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh! So you think I'm a failure!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Isn't he good?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Nonono, thatthat's not what I was saying...</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Y'know, all these years, I thought you were on my side. But maybe what
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you were doing was sucking up to Mom and Dad so they'd keep liking you better!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good!</p>
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<p>(Cut to later. Rachel is in tears)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> You're right! I mean you're right! It wasn't just the Weebles, but it
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was the Weeble Play Palace, and and the Weebles' Cruise Ship. Oh, which had this little
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lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in. </p>
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<p><b>Roger:</b> That's tough. Tough stuff. C'mon, Pheebs, we're gonna catch that movie,
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we gotta get going. </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, okay. Feel better, Rachel, 'kay?</p>
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<p><b>Roger:</b> Geez, we're gonna be late, sweetie...</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, okay. Listen, thanks for everything, Mon.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> You're welcome.</p>
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<p><b>Roger:</b> Listen guys, it was great seeing you again. Mon, um, easy on those
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cookies, okay? Remember, they're just food, they're not love.</p>
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<p>(He shuts the door and Ross and Monica fling cookies at it)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hate that guy! (Throws another cookie)</p>
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<p>[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey are just leaving Monica and Rachel's.]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Night, you guys.</p>
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<p>(They notice that a woman is sitting by their door)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh look, it's the woman we ordered.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey. Can, uh, can we help you?</p>
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<p><b>Ronni:</b> Oh, no thanks, I'm just waiting for, uh, Joey Tribbiani.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I'm Joey Tribbiani.</p>
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<p><b>Ronni:</b> Oh no, not you, big Joey. Oh my God, you're so much cuter than your
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pictures! (Joey stares at her) I-I'm, I'm Ronni....Cheese Nip?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Uh, Joey's having an embolism, but I'd go for a Nip, y'know?</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ronni is talking to Chandler. Joey's dad is not around.]</p>
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<p><b>Ronni:</b> Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta
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laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a
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pose. Like, chasing their tail, (Demonstrates) or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Joey, if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys.</p>
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<p><b>Ronni:</b> That's a good one!</p>
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<p>(Joey's dad enters.)</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Tribbiani:</b> Hey, Joe.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Dad, Ronni's here.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Tribbiani:</b> Huh?</p>
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<p><b>Ronni:</b> Hi.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Tribbiani:</b> Hey! Hello, babe! Wh what're what're you doing here?</p>
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<p><b>Ronni:</b> Oh, uh, well, you left your good hair at my apartment, I figured you'd
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need it tomorrow for your meeting. (Hands him the hair)</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Tribbiani:</b> Thank you. Uh...</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> So, who's up for a big game of <em>Kerplunk</em>?</p>
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<p><b>Ronni:</b> Look, I uh, I shouldn'ta come. I-I'd better get going, I don't wanna miss
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the last train.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Tribbiani:</b> I don't want you taking that thing.</p>
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<p><b>Ronni:</b> Oh, where'm I gonna stay, here?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Who-ah-ho.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Tribbiani:</b> We'll go to a hotel.</p>
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<p><b>Ronni:</b> (Shrugs) We'll go to a hotel.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> No you won't.</p>
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<p><b>Ronni:</b> No we won't.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where
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I can keep an eye on you.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Tribbiani:</b> You're gonna keep an eye on us?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> That's right, mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're
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under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your
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girlfriend.</p>
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<p><b>Ronni:</b> Wow. He's strict.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Now dad, you'll be in my room, Ronni uh, you can stay in Chandler's room.</p>
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<p><b>Ronni:</b> Thanks. You're, uh, you're a good kid.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> C'mon, I'll show you to my room. ...That sounds so weird when it's not
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followed by "No thanks, it's late." </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a
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change. This has gone on long enough.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Tribbiani:</b> What kinda change?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, either you break it off with Ronni</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Tribbiani:</b> I can't do that!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Then you gotta come clean with Ma! This is not right!</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Tribbiani:</b> Yeah, but this is</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I don't wanna hear it! Now go to my room!</p>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, night. Chandler and Joey are sharing the sofabed in the
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living room. Joey is restless.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, Kicky. What're you doing?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Just trying to get comfortable. I can't sleep in my underwear. </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, you're gonna.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I've been thinking. Y'know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of
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girls...</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Are they end to end, or tall like pancakes?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women.
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And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and
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go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, you're not him. You're you. When they were all over you to go
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into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> No.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business. Now that
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wasn't easy, but you did it! And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes
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along, you will have the courage and the guts to say "No thanks, I'm married."</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> You really think so?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah. I really do.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Thanks, Chandler. (Snuggles up to him)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Get off!</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, morning. Someone knocks on the door and Monica gets it.]</p>
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<p><b>Ronni:</b> Hi.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hi...May I help you?</p>
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<p><b>Ronni:</b> Yeah, uh, Joey said I could use your shower, since, uh, Chandler's in
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ours?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay...who are you?</p>
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<p><b>Ronni:</b> Oh, I'm Ronni. Ronni Rappelano? The mistress?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, c'mon in.</p>
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<p><b>Ronni:</b> Thanks.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi, I'm Rachel.</p>
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<p><b>Ronni:</b> Hi.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Bathroom's up there.</p>
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<p><b>Ronni:</b> Great.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey, listen, Ronni, how long would you say Chandler's been in the
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shower?</p>
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<p><b>Ronni:</b> Oh, like, uh, five minutes?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Perfect. Fasten your seatbelts, it's peepee time. (She goes into Joey
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and Chandler's apartment, where Mr. Tribbiani is reading the paper) Hey, Mr. Trib. </p>
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<p><b>Mr. Tribbiani:</b> Hey. Morning, dear.</p>
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<p>(Rachel goes up to the door of their bathroom)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Chandler Bing? It's time to see your thing.</p>
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<p>(She opens the door and whips back the curtain. It's Joey. They both scream)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (Runs out in a towel) What's the matter with you?!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I thought it was Chandler!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (Comes out of his room) What? What?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> You were supposed to be in there so I could see your thing!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Sorry, my my thing was in there with me.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Phoebe enters.]</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Hey, Pheebs.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey. </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> How's it going?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Good. Oh oh! Roger's having a dinner thing and he wanted me to invite
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you guys.</p>
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<p>(Chandler laughs)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> So what's going on?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Nothing, um, it's just, um... It's Roger. </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I dunno, there's just something about...</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Basically we just feel that he's...</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> We hate that guy.</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Yeah. Hate him.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> We're sorry, Pheebs, we're sorry.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Uh-huh. Okay. Okay, don't you think, maybe, though, it's just that he's
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so perceptive that it freaks you out?</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> ...No, we hate him.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> We're sorry.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment, Joey is trying to turn the sofabed back into a
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sofa. Someone knocks on the door and it rears up at him.]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Ma! What're you doing here?</p>
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<p><b>Mrs. Tribbiani:</b> I came to give you this (Gives him a bag of groceries) and this.
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(Whacks him round the ear)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oww! Big ring!</p>
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<p><b>Mrs. Tribbiani:</b> Why did you have to fill your father's head with all that
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garbage about making things right? Things were fine the way they were! There's chicken in
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there, put it away. For God's sake, Joey, really. (She gives the sofabed a tiny push and
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it folds away)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hold on, you-you knew?</p>
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<p><b>Mrs. Tribbiani:</b> Of course I knew! What did you think? Your father is no James
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Bond. You should've heard some of his cover stories. "I'm sleeping over at my
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accountant's," I mean, what is that? Please!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> So then how could you I mean, how could you?!</p>
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<p><b>Mrs. Tribbiani:</b> Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling,
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always yelling nothing made him happy, nothing made him happy, not that wood shop, not
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those stupid little ships in the bottle, nothing. Now he's happy! I mean, it's nice, he
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has a hobby.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Ma, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but... what the hell are you talking
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about?! I mean, what about you?</p>
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<p><b>Mrs. Tribbiani:</b> Me? I'm fine. Look, honey, in an ideal world, there'd be no her,
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and your father would look like Sting. And I'll tell you something else. Ever since that
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poodle-stuffer came along, he's been so ashamed of himself that he's been more attentive,
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he's been more loving... I mean, it's like every day's our anniversary.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I'm...happy...for you?</p>
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<p><b>Mrs. Tribbiani:</b> Well don't be, because now everything's screwed up. I just want
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it the way it was.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Ma, I'm sorry. I just did what I thought you'd want.</p>
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<p><b>Mrs. Tribbiani:</b> I know you did, cookie. Oh, I know you did. So tell me. Did you
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see her?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah. You're ten times prettier than she is.</p>
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<p><b>Mrs. Tribbiani:</b> That's sweet. Could I take her?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> With this ring? (Her engagement ring.) No contest.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is there with Roger.]</p>
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<p><b>Roger:</b> What's wrong, sweetie?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Nothing, nothing.</p>
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<p><b>Roger:</b> Aaaah, what's wrong, c'mon. (Pats his leg. She lies down and rests her
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head in his lap)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> It's, I mean, it's nothing, I'm fine. It's my friends. They-they have a
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liking problem with you. In that, um, they don't.</p>
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<p><b>Roger:</b> Oh. They don't.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> But they don't see all the wonderfulness that I see. They don't see all
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the good stuff and all the sweet stuff. They just think you're a little...</p>
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<p><b>Roger:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Intense and creepy. </p>
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<p><b>Roger:</b> Oh.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> But I don't. Me, Phoebe.</p>
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<p><b>Roger:</b> Well, I'm not I'm not at all surprised they feel that way.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You're not? See, that's why you're so great! </p>
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<p><b>Roger:</b> Actually it's, it's quite, y'know, typical behaviour when you have this
|
|
kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. Y'know, this kind of co-dependant, emotionally
|
|
stunted, sitting in your stupid coffee house with your stupid big cups which, I'm sorry,
|
|
might as well have nipples on them, and you're like all 'Oh, define me! Define me! Love
|
|
me, I need love!'.</p>
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|
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is letting everyone in on the new developments.]</p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>Monica:</b> So you talked to your dad, huh.</p>
|
|
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep
|
|
pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her
|
|
husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with
|
|
anything except that I found out today.</p>
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|
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Wow.</p>
|
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|
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Things sure have changed here on Waltons mountain.</p>
|
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|
<p><b>Ross:</b> So Joey, you okay?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, I guess. It's just parents, after a certain point, you gotta let go.
|
|
Even if you know better, you've gotta let them make their own mistakes.</p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Just think, in a couple of years we get to turn into them.</p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>Chandler:</b> If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond chasing
|
|
after twenty-year-old boys, or... I'll end up like my mom.</p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (entering) Hey.</p>
|
|
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<p><b>All:</b> Hey, Pheebs.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Monica:</b> How's it going?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, okay, except I broke up with Roger.</p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>All:</b> Awww.</p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, right.</p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>All:</b> Aaawwwwww!!</p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What happened?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I don't know, I mean, he's a good person, and he can be really sweet,
|
|
and in some ways I think he is so right for me, it's just... I hate that guy!</p>
|
|
|
|
<p align="center"><strong>Closing Credits</strong></p>
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|
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Phoebe is reading the paper and Joey enters.]</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey, Joey. What's going on?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Joey:</b> Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. Next stop: Rachel Green.
|
|
(He goes into the bathroom. We hear a scream and he comes out, closely followed by Monica
|
|
in a towel)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Monica:</b> Joey!! What the hell were you doing?!</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Joey:</b> Sorry. Wrong boobies.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(He leaves. Cut to Monica entering Chandler and Joey's apartment. She sneaks up to the
|
|
shower door)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hello, Joey.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(She whips back the curtain to reveal Joey's dad)</p>
|
|
|
|
</font><p><font size="3"><b>Mr. Tribbiani:</b> Oh! ...Hello, dear. (She whips the curtain shut in horror)</font></p>
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<p align="center"><strong><font size="3">End</font></strong></p>
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</body></html> |