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<!-- saved from url=(0054)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season1/105egld.htm -->
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<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
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<title>The One With the East German Laundry Detergent</title>
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<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
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<body bgcolor="white" text="black" link="green" vlink="black" alink="yellow" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
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<h1 align="center">The One With the East German Laundry Detergent</h1>
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<hr align="center">
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<font size="3"><i>
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</i><p><i></i>Written by: Jeff Greenstein & Jeff Strauss<br>
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Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Mindy Mattingly Phillips</a><br>
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With Minor Adjustments by: Dan Silverstein</p>
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<hr>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, all six are there.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Would you let it go? It's not that big a deal.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Not that big a deal? It's amazing. Ok, you just reach in there, there's
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one little maneuver, and bam, a bra right out the sleeve. All right, as far as I'm
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concerned, there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close. Am I right?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Come on! You guys can pee standing up.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> We can? All right, I'm tryin' that.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Ok, you know what blows my mind? Women can see breasts any time they want.
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You just look down and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, ok, you know what I don't get? The way guys can do so many mean
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things, and then not even care.</p>
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<p>(Long pause.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Multiple orgasms!</p>
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<h3 align="center">Opening Credits</h3>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, all are there.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night,
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Sat-ur-day night!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> No plans, huh?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Not a one.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Not even, say, breaking up with Janice?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, right, right, shut up.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone. You just gotta do it.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting
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there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage
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to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man, just stop calling. </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You know, if you want, I'll do it with you.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, thanks, but I think she'd feel like we're gangin' up on her. </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, I mean you break up with Janice and I'll break up with Tony. </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Tony?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, you're breaking up with Tony?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, I know, he's sweet, but it's just not fun anymore, you know? I
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don't know if it's me, or his hunger strike, or, I don't know.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (waitressing) Does anybody want anything else?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, yeah, last week you had a wonderful, nutty, chocolatey kind of a cakey
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pie thing. (Rachel gives him a dirty look) Nothing, just, just, I'm fine.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (to Rachel) What's the matter? Why so scrunchy?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> It's my father. He wants to give me a Mercedes convertible.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> That guy, he burns me up.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, well, it's a Mercedes if I move back home. Oh, it was horrible. He
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called me <i>young lady</i>.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Ooh, I hate when my father calls me that.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Did he give you that whole "You're-not-up-to-this" thing
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again?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, yeah, yeah. Actually, I got the extended disco version, with three
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choruses of "You'll never make it on your own".</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (rhythmically) Uh-huh, uh-huh.</p>
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<p>(Angela, a beautiful woman in a tight dress, enters.)</p>
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<p><b>Angela:</b> Hi, Joey.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> My god, Angela.</p>
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<p>(Angela takes a seat at the counter.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Wow, being dumped by you obviously agrees with her.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Are you gonna go over there?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> No, yeah, no, ok, but not yet. I don't wanna seem too eager. One
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Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi. That seems pretty cool. (he walks over to
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her) Hey, Angela. </p>
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<p><b>Angela:</b> (casually) Joey.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> You look good.</p>
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<p><b>Angela:</b> That's because I'm wearing a dress that accents my boobs.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> You don't say.</p>
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<p>(Cut to Ross and Rachel, talking next to one of the tables.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> So, uh, Rachel, what are you, uh, what're you doing tonight?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, big glamour night. Me and Monica at Laundorama.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, you uh, you wanna hear a freaky coincidence? Guess who's doing laundry
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there too?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Who?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Me. Was that not clear? Hey, why don't, um, why don't I just join you
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both, here?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Don't you have a laundry room in your building?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yes, I do have a laundry room in my building, um, but there's a.... rat
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problem. Apparently they're attracted to the dryer sheets, and they're goin' in fine, but
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they're comin' out all.... fluffy. Anyway, say, sevenish?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Sure.</p>
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<p>(Cut back to Joey and Angela at the counter.)</p>
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<p><b>Angela:</b> Forget it Joey. I'm with Bob now.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Bob? Who the hell's Bob?</p>
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<p><b>Angela:</b> Bob is great. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job.
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You, you go on three auditions a month and you call yourself an actor, but Bob...</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Come on, we were great together. And not just at the fun stuff, but like,
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talking too.</p>
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<p><b>Angela:</b> Yeah, well, sorry, Joe. You said let's just be friends, so guess what?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Angela:</b> We're just friends.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Fine, fine, so, why don't the four of us go out and have dinner together
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tonight? You know, as friends?</p>
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<p><b>Angela:</b> What four of us?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> You know, you and Bob, and me and my girlfriend, uh, uh, Monica.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment, Joey is there, trying to convince Monica to pose
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as his girlfriend. His plan is to hook Monica up with Angela's boyfriend Bob and then take
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Angela back for himself.]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Forget it. Not after your cousin who could belch the alphabet.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Come on. This guy's great. His name's Bob. He's Angela's... brother. He's
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smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. Me, I go on three auditions a month and
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call myself an actor, but Bob is...</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (looking out window) Oh, god help us.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Ugly Naked Guy's laying kitchen tile. Eww!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Eww! Look, I'm asking a favor here. If I do this for her brother, maybe
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Angela will come back to me.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> What's going on here? You go out with tons of girls.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (proud) I know, but, I made a huge mistake. I never should have broken up
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with her. Will you help me? Please?</p>
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<p>[Scene: Ross' apartment, Chandler is over.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (on phone) Ok, bye. (hangs up) Well, Monica's not coming, it's just gonna
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be me and Rachel.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh. Well, hold on camper, are you sure you've thought this thing
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through?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> It's laundry. The thinking through is minimal.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're
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going on a date.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Nuh-uh.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yuh-huh.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> So what're you saying here? I should shave again, pick up some wine, what?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. This is basically the
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first time she's gonna see your underwear<61>you want it to be dirty?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (sheepish) No.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, and uh, the fabric softener?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Ok, ok, now what is wrong with my <em>Snuggles</em>? What, it says I'm a
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sensitive, warm kinda guy, you know, like a warm, fuzzy bear. Ok, I can pick something
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else up on the way.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> There you go.</p>
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<p>[Scene: A fancy restaurant, Joey and Monica are there, meeting Angela and Bob, who
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Monica thinks is Angela's brother.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Thank you. So what does this Bob guy look like? Is he tall? Short?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yep.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Which?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Which what?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> You've never met Bob, have you?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> No, but he's...</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh my god, Joey, for all we know this guy could be horribly...</p>
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<p>(Angela and Bob walk in. Bob is good-looking.)</p>
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<p><b>Angela:</b> Hey, Joey.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> ...horribly attractive. I'll be shutting up now.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Phoebe are there, both ready to break up with their
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significant others.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Where are they? Where are they?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> This is nice. We never do anything just the two of us.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> It's great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car and run over some
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puppies.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Eww, I don't wanna do that.</p>
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<p>(Janice and Phoebe's boyfriend, Tony, walk in.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Here we go.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ok, have a good break-up.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, Janice.</p>
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<p><b>Janice:</b> Oh, my god, I am so glad you called me. I had the most supremely awful
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day.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, that's not good. Can I get an espresso and a latte over here,
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please?</p>
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<p><b>Janice:</b> We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the
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little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of the day,
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and I went shopping...(looks through her bags)... and I got you, I'm looking, I'm looking,
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I'm looking, I got you...</p>
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<p>(Chandler sees Phoebe breaking up with Tony. She talks to him for a few seconds, hugs
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him, and then he leaves. Chandler is amazed how easy it was for her.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Janice:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (covering) What... did you get me there? </p>
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<p><b>Janice:</b> I got you...these. (pulls out a pair of socks)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Bullwinkle socks. That's so sweet.</p>
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<p><b>Janice:</b> Well, I knew you had the Rockys, and so I figured, you know, you can
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wear Bullwinkle and Bullwinkle, or you can wear Rocky and Rocky,or, you can mix and match,
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moose and squirrel. Whatever you want.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> That's great. </p>
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<p>(The drinks arrive, and Chandler downs his espresso in one gulp.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, I'm gonna get another espresso. Can I get you another latte?</p>
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<p><b>Janice:</b> (holding the full cup) No, no, I'm still working on mine.</p>
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<p>(Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is, and is asking her about the
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break-up.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> That's it?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, it was really hard.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, yeah, that hug looked pretty brutal.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ok, you weren't there.</p>
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<p>[Scene: The Launderama, Rachel is there, waiting for Ross. An old woman takes Rachel's
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clothes off the machine and begins loading it with her things.]</p>
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<p><b>Woman:</b> Comin' through. Move, move.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, 'scuse me. I was kinda using that machine.</p>
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<p><b>Woman:</b> Yeah, well, now you're kinda not.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> But I saved it. I put my basket on top.</p>
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<p><b>Woman:</b> Oh, I'm sorry, is that your basket? It's really pretty. Unfortunately, I
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don't see suds.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Woman:</b> No suds, no save. Ok?</p>
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<p>(Ross arrives.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What's goin' on?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi, uh, nothing. That horrible woman just took my machine.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Was your basket on top?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, but, there were no suds.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> So?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, you know, no suds, no save.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> No suds? Excuse me, hold on a second. (to woman) That's my friend's
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machine.</p>
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<p><b>Woman:</b> Hey, hey, hey, her stuff wasn't in it.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, hey, hey, that's not the rule and you know it. </p>
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<p>(The woman and Ross stare at each other. Finally she takes her stuff out of the machine
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and leaves.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (to the crowd in the laundromat) All right, show's over. Nothing to see
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here. (to Rachel) Ok, let's do laundry.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> That was amazing. I can't even send back soup.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, that's because you're such a sweet, gentle, uh...Do you, uh, do
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you...Oh, hey, uh you must need detergent.</p>
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<p>(Ross pulls out a huge box of laundry detergent.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What's that?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> <i>Uberveiss</i>. It's new, it's German, it's extra-tough.</p>
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<p>(Rachel starts to load her clothes.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Rach, do you uh, are you gonna separate those?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh god. Oh, am I being like a total laundry spaz? I mean, am I supposed
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to use like one machine for shirts and another machine for pants? </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Rach, have you never done this before?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, not myself, but I know other people that have. Ok, you caught me.
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I'm a laundry virgin.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh, well, don't worry, I'll use the gentle cycle. Ok, um, basically you
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wanna use one machine for all your whites, a whole nother machine for colors, and a third
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for your uh, your uh, delicates, and that would be your bras and your under-panty things.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (holds a pair of panties in front of Ross) Ok, Well, what about these
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are white cotton panties. Would they go with whites or delicates?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (visibly nervous) Uh, that, that, that would be a judgment call.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Fancy restaurant, Monica, Joey, Angela, and Bob are seated at the table.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (to Joey) He is so cute. (to Angela and Bob) So, where did you guys grow
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up?</p>
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<p><b>Angela:</b> Brooklyn Heights.</p>
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<p><b>Bob:</b> Cleveland.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> How, how did that happen?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh my god.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I suddenly had the feeling that I was falling. But I'm not.</p>
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<h3 align="center">Commercial Break</h3>
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<p>[Scene: Fancy restaurant, Joey and Bob are talking.]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> So, you and Angela, huh?</p>
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<p><b>Bob:</b> Yep. Pretty much.</p>
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|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> You're a lucky man. You know what I miss the most about her? That cute
|
||
nibbly noise when she eats. Like a happy little squirrel, or a weasel.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Bob:</b> Huh, I never really noticed.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, yeah, yeah, listen for it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Bob:</b> Monica, Monica is great.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, but it's not gonna last. She's too much for me in bed. Sexually.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: The ladies' bathroom at the restaurant, Monica and Angela are talking.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I've gotta tell you, Bob is terrific.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Angela:</b> Yeah, isn't he?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> It is so great to meet a guy who is smart and funny, and has an
|
||
emotional age beyond, like eight.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Angela:</b> You know what else? He's unbelievable in bed.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Wow. My brother never even told me when he lost his virginity.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Angela:</b> Huh. That's nice.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is coaching Chandler on how to break up with Janice.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ok, you can do this. It's just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it
|
||
really fast, and then the wound is exposed.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Chandler walks back to couch, where Janice is.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Janice. Hi, Janice. Ok, here we go. I don't think we should go out
|
||
anymore. Janice.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Janice:</b> All right. Well, there you go. (she gets extremely wound up, and begins
|
||
to try and calm herself down) Stop it, stop it, stop it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: The laundromat.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ok, I know this is gonna sound really stupid, but I feel that if I can
|
||
do this, you know, if I can actually do my own laundry, there isn't anything I can't do.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> That does not sound stupid to me. You know, it's like the first time I had
|
||
to make dinner for myself, after Carol left me? (the buzzer on the washer goes off) I'm
|
||
sorry, that's all the time we have. Next on Ross...(opens up the washer) Uh-oh.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What uh-oh?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (not wanting to tell her) Uh-oh, uh-oh, the laundry's done. It's, uh, it's
|
||
a song. The laundry song that we sing. (singing) Uh-oh the laundry's done, uh-oh, uh-oh.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ross, what's the matter?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Nothing, nothing. Lee-lo, the laundry's done.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Come on, show me.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> All right, all right, it's just that you left a red sock in with all your
|
||
whites, and now, everything's kinda pink.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, everything's pink.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, uh, except for the red sock, which is still red. I'm sorry, please
|
||
don't be upset, it could happen to anyone.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Except it didn't. It happened to me. Oh, god, I'm gonna look like a big
|
||
marshmallow peep. What am I doing? What am I doing? My father's right. I can't live on my
|
||
own! I can't even do laundry!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(The woman who had tried to steal the washing machine walks by, and laughs.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: The fancy restaurant, Angela has her hand in Bob's shirt, and Monica is very
|
||
uncomfortable.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Something went wrong with Underdog, and they couldn't get his head to
|
||
inflate. So anyway, um, his head is like flopping down Broadway, right, and I'm just
|
||
thinking... how inappropriate this is. Um, I've got something in my eye, uh, Joey, could
|
||
we check it in the light, please? </p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Her and Joey walk away from the table.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh my god.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hello! Were we at the same table? It's like... cocktails in Appalachia.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Come on, they're close.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Close? She's got her tongue in his ear.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, like you've never gotten a little rambunctious with Ross.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Joey, this is sick, it's disgusting, it's, it's<>not really true, is
|
||
it?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, who's to say what's true? I mean...</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh my god, what were you thinking?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right, look, I'm not proud of this, ok? Well, maybe I am a little.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (hits him lightly) Oh! </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ow!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (leaving) I'm outta here.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Wait, wait, wait. You want him, I want her. He likes you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Really?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah. I'm thinking, if we put our heads together, between the two of us,
|
||
we can break them up.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Time lapse, Monica accidentally spilled her drink on Bob's shirt and is wiping it off.
|
||
Joey is making eyes at Angela.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I'm so sorry, I can't believe I did this, but I couldn't stop laughing
|
||
at your Norman Mailer story.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Angela is eating chicken wings and making the weasel-like noise Joey had told Bob
|
||
about.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and
|
||
there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different.
|
||
I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out
|
||
and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Janice:</b> Ow!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, my god, I'm so sorry. Are you ok?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Janice:</b> Ow. Um, it's just my lens. It's just my lens. I'll be right back.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(She leaves.) </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (to Phoebe) I hit her in the eye! I hit her in the eye! This is the
|
||
worst break-up in the history of the world. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh my god. (Chandler downs another espresso.) How many of those have you
|
||
had?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, I don't know, a million?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Chandler, easy, easy. Go to your happy place. La la la la la la la.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I'm fine.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> All right. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Janice returns from the bathroom.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I'm not fine. Here she comes.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wait here. Breathe.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Phoebe goes over to speak to Janice. She talks to her for a few seconds, and then
|
||
Janice immediately smiles, hugs her, waves to Chandler, and leaves.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> How do you do that?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> It's like a gift.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> We should always always break up together.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, I'd like that.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: The Launderama. Rachel is sorting her now-pink clothes.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> You got the clothes clean. Now that's the important part.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, I guess. Except everything looks like jammies now.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(The same woman walks over and takes Rachel's laundry cart.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Whoa, I'm sorry. Excuse me. We had this cart.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Woman:</b> Yeah, well, I had a 24-inch waist. You lose things. Now come on, get
|
||
outta my way.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Rachel looks at Ross, who motions to her to get the cart back.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I'm sorry, you know, maybe I wasn't being clear. Uh, this is our cart.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Woman:</b> Hey, hey, hey there aren't any clothes in it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey, hey, hey, hey, quit making up rules!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Woman:</b> Let go!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(They struggle for the cart. Finally, Rachel climbs inside of it.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> All right, listen, missy. If you want this cart, you're gonna have to
|
||
take me with it! </p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(She thinks it over, and then walks away.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> You were incredible! Brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I could not have done this without you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on
|
||
an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Are you sure?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Closing Credits</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Ross has an icepack to his
|
||
head.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, are you sure you're ok?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Does it still hurt?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (seeing Rachel's clothes) What a neat idea. All your clothes match. I'm
|
||
gonna do this.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Monica and Joey enter.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hi.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey, how'd it go?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Excellent.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> We ripped that couple apart, and kept the pieces for ourselves.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What a beautiful story. Hey, I'm fine by the way.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (notices his head) Oh, I'm sorry.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Where's Chandler?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, he needed some time to grieve.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Chandler runs by the window outside, joyous.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I'm free! I'm free!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> That oughta do it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||
</font>
|
||
|
||
|
||
</body></html> |