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<!-- saved from url=(0055)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season9/913sings.htm -->
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<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
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<title>Untitled Document</title>
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<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
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<body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" text="#000000" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
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<p align="CENTER">The One Where Monica Sings</p>
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<hr>
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<p>Written by: Sherry Bilsing-Graham & Ellen Plummer<br>
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Teleplay by: Steven Rosenhaus<br>
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Transcribed by: PHDB (<a href="mailto:phdb2000@hotmail.com">phdb2000@hotmail.com</a>)
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and Sebastiano (sebapop@libero.it)</p>
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<hr>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Monica's]</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Hey!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah! Yeah! OK! Sure! Look! Can we...can we talk about what happened
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here last night?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Sure! Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you!
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Do you believe that who ever<br>
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did something over here last night did what they did or didn't do ...I mean
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come on!!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Ross:</b> OK you...you really don't know what I am talking about?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: No!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Ross:</b> OK! Last night after the party I saw Rachel kissing that jerk from
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her office out on your balcony.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Our balcony? Seriously? That's so funny because I told Monica
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we should put lights on our balcony. And she said<br>
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"No, no. It's too cold, nobody will go out there." And I said "Maybe
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if we put some light out there they will"</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Right that's why I came over to talk about. Hum...I saw Rachel kissing
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some guy on your balcony,<br>
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even though there were NO LIGHTS !</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: So are you gonna...talk to her?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Why...Why should I? I mean if she wants to move on, that's fine!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: You know when "That's fine" sounds true when someone
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yells it and spits!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Ross:</b> No I'm serious. I mean she wants to date people? Fine! I don't care
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but...at least she could have told me. You know<br>
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I...I've been putting my life on hold and just concentrating on Emma but if
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she wants to go out there kissing guys she<br>
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barely knows, then so will I ! Very funny! Ross is gay! Ah! Ah!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: No no no. Good. So you're moving on? Do you have any idea where
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you're moving?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Ross:</b> I don't know. I mean I have plenty of opportunity. Just just now
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there were some women at the coffee house smiled at me.<br>
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And then the other day on the subway a woman "accidentally" sat on
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my hand.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Dude, don't rub my face in your crazy single life!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Well, and how about this? There is an anthropologist at school who
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totally came on to me during the inter-departmental<br>
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Potluck dinner.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Why did I get married?!</p>
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<p align="CENTER"> </p>
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<p align="CENTER"> </p>
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<p align="CENTER">[Opening Credits]</p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk]</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Hey! Let me ask you guys something. I have a new headshot taken tomorrow
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right and the photographer said she thinks I<br>
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should have my eyebrows waxed. Is that weird for a guy?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Well it depends.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: On...?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: On how far along he's in the sex change process!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: No I totally disagree. No I think it's fine for a guy to do something
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like that. Such you an actor. Not that you need to,<br>
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your eyebrows are...</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Ok! Stop it you guys! Stop staring! You're freaking me out!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Your knuckles are kinda hairy too...</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Oh man! I have to get those done too?!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Wow! Talking about high maintenance</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Hey hey! You dye your hair!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: I'm a woman!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Arghhh! Double standards!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Oh before I forget, are you coming to Mike's piano bar tonight?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Only if I don't have to get up and sing.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: But everybody sings. It's so much fun! Last time this adorable
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old man got out there, forgot all of the words, flipped out<br>
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and everyone booed him off the stage. So funny.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: It's just, I'm not good at singing.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Oh! What's the matter? Are you scared? You're afraid I'm a better
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singer? You're afraid I'm gonna beat you at singing?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: No no, it's not working on me. Wow! I must be growing up!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: OK fine! Please come and support Mike. You don't have to sing.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: So I don't have to sing and I can just sit there and pass judgments
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on others?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: While drinking...</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: I'm there!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Hi guys! Listen I really need your help. I think I did something
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really stupid.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Well yes Rachel but you got something so beautiful out there</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: No not that. I kissed Gavin last night.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Oh my god.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: You kissed him?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Yeah. It was after the party, we were on the balcony and...</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Wait wait wait. I was at home the whole time. How did I missed
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that?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: It was the end of the party, you were probably ironing wrapping
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paper.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Oh yeah...So how did you end up kissing?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: You know we were all alone and he was being really nice to me and,
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oh and he gave me this scarf...</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: I thought you hated him?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: You know honey, there is a thin line between love and hate, and
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it turns out that line...is a scarf!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: So are you thinking of starting up something with this guy?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: I don't know. It's so complicated. I work with this guy, you know,
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I have the baby, and I have Ross, and I just...I don't<br>
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know what to do and I have to be at the office and see Gavin in ten minutes.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Sounds like you need to think about what you want, talk to Gavin,
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and you definitely should talk to Ross</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Or...I could call in sick and not deal with it at all...</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Wow! Five-month maternity leave, you're back for four days, kiss
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a co-worker, call in sick, they are lucky to have you!!</p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>[Scene: Beauty salon]</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Salon girl</b>: Hi</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Hey. I'm here for my eyebrow appointment.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Salon girl:</b> Name?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Joey:</b> Chandler Bing.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Salon girl:</b> Ok. Very good. Have a seat right over here Mr. Bing and Sonia
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will be right with you.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: OK Thanks.<br>
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(Joey touches the hot wax). I touched the stuff</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Sonia</b>: I'll take care of it</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Thanks. Do you get a lot of guys in here?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Sonia</b>: Oh absolutely.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Oh good...</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Sonia</b>: Are you looking to meet somebody?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: All right let's just do this.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Sonia</b>: We'll get to the wax in a minute. First I want to tweeze some of
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the strays, ok? This may sting just a little bit...</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Please I have an extremely high threshold...Holly Mother Of God!
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My face! My face!! I'm all right! I'm all right!<br>
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Just a little bit of shock that's all but I'll be fine you can go again. I'm
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OK<br>
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(He tries to avoid the tweezers) Dammit! Woman!! How Hoooow!</p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk]</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Hey it's the most eligible man in NY. How's the moving on going?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand
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but that person was neither female nor wearing pants.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Well maybe you're going about this the wrong way. You know I
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mean think about it. Single white male, divorced three times,<br>
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two illegitimate children. The personal ad writes itself....</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Ross:</b> That's funny...Do you think you'll ever work again?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: What are doing? You know I can only dish it out!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Ross:</b> I can't believe Rachel just moved on and didn't say anything to me</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Maybe she didn't move on, you know...maybe that kiss was just
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an impulsive one-time birthday thing</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Ross:</b> No no, about a month ago she gave her number to some guy in a bar.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Did she go out with him?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Ross:</b> No. When he called, I...I threw the message away.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Ah! The high road...</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Ross:</b> You know what? Enough! Enough talking! I have to get moving! Hey
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check out those two blondes over there!<br>
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Hey come with me!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Are you trying to get everybody divorced?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Ross</b>: You don't have to do anything. It will just be easier if it is the
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two of us, like college, remember? You...you break the<br>
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ice with some kind of jokes so that they know you're the funny one and I swoop
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in with some interesting conversation, so<br>
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they'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one...</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: I thought I had to make the jokes!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Don't you have to be at work?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Oh come on! Hello! Hi! My name is Chandler, here's my friend
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Ross right here, and we were wondering you know if you're up for it. <br>
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We only need six more people for a human pyramid...Swoop!! Swoop!!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Hum...So...hum...Oh hey I noticed you were reading the paper...another
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flood in Europe? Here<72>s a question: "Would you...<br>
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would you rather drown or be burnt alive?"</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Blonde girl</b>: Sorry...we were just leaving</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: We still got it!</p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>[Scene: Ross']</p>
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<p> </p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Who is it?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Gavin</b>: Gavin! I brought you some soup.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Why?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Gavin</b>: I heard you were sick...</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Oh! Right! Yeah! Hold on, I'll be just clean up in here a little
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bit! Hello Gavin</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Gavin</b>: I missed you at work today. How are you feeling?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: I a not gonna lie to you, I'm pretty sick</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Gavin</b>: Oh! Good! Because I was having a totally paranoid moment when I
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thought you called in sick to avoid me.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Oh no no no</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Gavin</b>: So I had fun last night</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: So did I</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Gavin</b>: Exactly how contagious is this thing you have? I mean is it a cold
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for standing on the balcony or did a monkey bite you?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: It's just a cold</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Gavin</b>: Do you have fever? Let me see. Hum...</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: What? What's the matter?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Gavin</b>: What's Ross doing to you on that picture?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Oh he's dusting me with a fossil brush. He thought it would be
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funny.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Gavin</b>: Right. Right. Ross. So what's the deal with you guys? I don't want
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to get in the middle of anything</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Oh you're not. You're not gonna get in the middle of anything,
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don't worry about Ross really, really.<br>
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(She hears the noise of the key in the lock) Oh! Hide! That's Ross! Hide! Hide!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Gavin</b>: Yeah! But you said not to worry about...</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: I lied! And I'm not sick! Just stay behind the curtain!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Molly</b>: Hi!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Oh! Molly! You're not Ross.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Molly</b>: No I'm here to take Emma to your mother's, remember?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Right, right, yes!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Molly</b>: Don't panic!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: What?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Molly</b>: There is a man behind your curtain. I have a mace in my purse.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: No! That's OK! That's OK! That's OK! No no no no! This is my business
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associate Gavin. He's just being silly.<br>
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Gavin come out from behind that curtain!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Gavin</b>: Hi! Gavin! Please to meet you. It was my idea to stand there.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Molly</b>: Hello! I just go and get Emma.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: OK.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Gavin</b>: So hum...Why did I have to hide?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: I thought it was Ross.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Gavin</b>: So what if it was? I thought there was nothing going on between
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you two...</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: There isn't. There is totally isn't.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Gavin</b>: You hear a key in the hole and you jump like a young bronco coming
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out of a chute for the first time. I used to be a<br>
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rodeo clown.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: All right. Look. Gavin...I...I guess I felt guilty that you were
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here, which I shouldn't. You know Ross and I are not in<br>
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any relationship but...he is the father of my child, and you know we do live
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together and plus there is just so much<br>
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history...you know it's just...I don't know, I'm sorry, I'm just all over the
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place.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Gavin</b>: It's OK. I know it's probably not my place but can I give you a
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piece of advice?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Yes</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Gavin</b>: I think you should talk to Ross about all this.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: People keep saying that. Oh I'm sorry Gavin</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Gavin</b>: Don't be. It's just bad timing.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: So seriously...rodeo clown?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Gavin</b>: One of the best, ma'am, one of the best...</p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>[Scene: Mike's piano bar]</p>
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<p> </p><b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: "No time for losers, 'cause we are the champions of the world...!"
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Thank you!</p>
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<p>(Mike kisses Phoebe)</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Mike</b>: Oh she's my girlfriend. That's not just how we do it here. I got
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to get a break and when we come back we've got Kenneth<br>
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singing "I touch myself"...I'm not here to judge!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Hi hi...Oh you have got to sing.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: No I told you I can't.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: But you would have so much fun and you have a really nice voice.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: What have you heard me sing?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: All the time when you're cooking.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: What?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Yeah you're always singing "Yummy yummy yummy, I've got love
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in my tummy"</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Yeah I do rock that one.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: OK so isn't there a little part of you that wants to get up there?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Just a little but...it's just so scary! I don't even know what
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I would sing...</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Mike</b>: Well I've got a book around...</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Monica</b>: "Delta Dawn"</p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk]</p>
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<p> </p><b>
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</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Hi! I could help not notice, but that's an unusual necklace</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Woman</b>: You already hit on me an hour ago</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Right, so that's a firm "no". I cannot believe this, I
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just keep striking out.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: I don't get it neither, I mean you're obviously desperate, you're
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asking women how they want to be killed</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Ross:</b> This is great. Rachel's gonna keep kissing guys until she finds the
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one she wants and I'm gonna die alone.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: By drowning or...?!</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Michelle</b>: Why would he break up with me?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Her friend</b>: I don't know sweetie.</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Michelle</b>: All I ever wanted was just love him and have him love me back.
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I mean, am I so unlovable?</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Well...</p><b>
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</b><p><b>Ross:</b> I know! (he stands)</p>
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<p> </p>
|
||
<p> </p>
|
||
<p>[Scene: Piano bar]</p>
|
||
<p> </p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Mike</b>: All right, that was Kenneth with his much too literal rendition of
|
||
"I touch myself". Coming up next we've got Monica<br>
|
||
singing "Delta Dawn".</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Wait wait! I can't sing in front of all these people.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Just pretend they're not even here! It's OK Monica, when that spotlight
|
||
hits you it so bright you won't see anyone<br>
|
||
anyway.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Hi! I'm Monica and I'm gonna be singing "Delta Dawn"<br>
|
||
"Delta Dawn, what's that flower you have on? Could it be a faded rose from
|
||
days gone by? ..."</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Can you totally see through her shirt ?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Mike</b>: Like an X-Ray. Bad day not to wear a bra.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: "To take you to his mansion in the sky-y?"</p>
|
||
<p> </p>
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's]</p>
|
||
<p> </p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Hey, I need your help.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Wow, it seems serious. What seems to be the problem, Ashley Judd?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Look, I'll get new headshot taken, all right, so I want to get my
|
||
eyebrows shaped</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: I am sorry, moment to make fun of that, please!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: You may be a sissy but I'll still (pound you out on ground). All
|
||
right, it hurts so bad, I could only let her do one<br>
|
||
eyebrow and now... they don<6F>t match!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: It<49>s like a baby caterpillar chasing its mama!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: All right, look, you got to help me out, ok? Look, I have the magic
|
||
marker, I want you to fill in the skinny one so<br>
|
||
I don<6F>t look stupid for my pictures.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Ok. First of all, this is green!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: What the hell am I supposed to do!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: All right, I will help you out but you have to promise me you
|
||
will not tell anyone what I am about to tell you.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: What, what.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Ok, you know how most kids get their allowance from mowing the
|
||
lawn or taking out the garbage, well I earned mine<br>
|
||
by plucking the eyebrows of my father and his <20>business<73> partners.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Oh my God!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Yeah, well, I guess you don<6F>t need my help Victor Victoria!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Ok all right, no, no, no, no, I do, I do, I do, I need your help,
|
||
but Chandler I don<6F>t know if I can take anymore<br>
|
||
plucking. It hurts so bad!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Oh, not with my combination of ice cubes, aloe Vera and my gentle
|
||
self-loathing touch.</p>
|
||
<p> </p>
|
||
<p>[Scene: Piano Bar]</p>
|
||
<p> </p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: "Take me to the mansion in the sky-y". I am sorry, the
|
||
song is over. Did you see me out there?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Every little bit of you!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: I can<61>t believe I did this. I can<61>t believe I'm singing for the
|
||
people, and they liked me! Hey, did you hear that<br>
|
||
one shouting <20>look at those tips<70>! I mean, did I really help you get a lot of
|
||
tips?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Mike</b>: Sure.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Mon', not that you didn<64>t sound good, but...</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Good? Didn<64>t you hear them...I was great! Thank you so much for
|
||
making me do this. That<61>s is the best gift ever.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Mike</b>: Also a good gift? Underwear.</p>
|
||
<p> </p>
|
||
<p>[Scene: Ross']</p>
|
||
<p> </p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Michelle</b>: Thank you so much for letting me do this. Public bathrooms freak
|
||
me out, I can't even pee, let alone do<br>
|
||
anything else.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> But, what<61>s great is that you don<6F>t mind talking about it.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Michelle</b>: It<49>s so amazing I met you the same day that Eric broke up with
|
||
me, because it<69>s like you lose a boyfriend,<br>
|
||
you get a boyfriend.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Uh-ah!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Michelle</b>: No don<6F>t worry, this is not some rebound thing. I am totally
|
||
over Eric.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> (pfew). Good choice Ross.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Oh, hey! Hi, there you are, I<>ve been looking for you everywhere!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, yeah, hello, well, now, here I am.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Listen, my mum is not bringing the baby back until nine o<> clock.
|
||
So I was hoping you and I could have a<br>
|
||
chance to kind of talk<6C> somebody here?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, yeah, yeah that<61>s Michelle.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Who?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, just this woman I<>ve been seeing.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: You<6F>ve being seeing someone?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, didn<64>t I mention that? Yeah, I mean, we haven<65>t being going
|
||
out for too long, but rather there is this<br>
|
||
amazing connection between us. I-I mean, in fact just before you came in she
|
||
called me her boyfriend. I thought it was<br>
|
||
a little too soon, but it was also, you know, it was kinda nice.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Michelle</b>: What are you taking amoxicillin for?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> How great is this? You are already comfortable enough to look through
|
||
my stuff. Oh, I am sorry Michelle, that<61>s<br>
|
||
my roommate, Rachel.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Hi, and I am also Emma<6D>s mother.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Michelle</b>: Ah, who is Emma?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> I told you about my daughter.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Michelle</b>: This is your daughter? I can be your new mummy!</p>
|
||
<p> </p>
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's]</p>
|
||
<p> </p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: And done!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Oh my God! I didn<64>t feel a thing ! Hey, are you still looking for
|
||
a job because you can tweeze circles around<br>
|
||
that sadistic bitch at the saloon</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Thanks. You wanna see what it looks like?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Yeah, yeah. Hey, they totally match! They look great! They look great!
|
||
How you doing!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Yeah, yeah, I think it looks pretty good. I was a little worried
|
||
I was uncovering a birthmark right about<br>
|
||
there, but it turned out to be a little piece of chocolate.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Thank you so much.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: No problem.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Listen that<61>s a pretty girly hour we just spent, we should add some
|
||
manly make up for it.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Yeah.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Comb my eyelashes.</p>
|
||
<p> </p>
|
||
<p>[Scene: Piano Bar]</p>
|
||
<p> </p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Ok, for my next song I think I<>ll sing something a little more
|
||
upbeat. All right? Oh, how about the Pointer<br>
|
||
Sisters <20>I am so excited<65>. And make it bouncy!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Oh you<6F>ll probably take care of that on your hands.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: I am sorry I am late. You<6F>ll understand when you<6F>ll see Joey.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Honey, you<6F>re just in time, I<>m about to sing another song!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Really? In front of all this people?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: And they love me!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Oh my God!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Yes, she gives the people what they want.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: All right, watch!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: "Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen, tonight we'll
|
||
put all other things aside. Give in this<br>
|
||
time and show me some affection..."</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: Are those my wife<66>s nipples?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Phoebe</b>: Oh? Isn<73>t that funny? I didn't see that before, I wouldn't have
|
||
let her go up again.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: I gotta stop this.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Monica</b>: Oh, who cares, they still love me! "I am so excited..."</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: You, touching yourself, out!</p>
|
||
<p> </p>
|
||
<p>[Scene: Ross<73>]</p>
|
||
<p> </p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Wow. She does that a lot!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Michelle</b>: Ross, you didn<64>t tell me you were a doctor!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: What, what, wait a minute! You haven<65>t even told her you were a
|
||
doctor, yet? How long have you known her, like<br>
|
||
an hour?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Michelle</b>: Actually about an hour and a half.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> I told you it wasn<73>t long, but there is an amazing connection between
|
||
us.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Michelle</b>: You feel that too? Oh, I thought that was just me!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Are you kidding?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Michelle</b>: Hey, do you want to go away this weekend?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> We<57>ll see.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Ok, Ross, what<61>s going on here, are we just bringing strange women
|
||
back to the apartment now?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> I don<6F>t know, are we just kissing guys on balconies?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: How do you know about that?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Through the magic of sight! I was here, putting our child to sleep...</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Michelle</b>: Emma.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> When I happened to look through the window and I see you kissing
|
||
a guy you know, for what? A week?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Oh, that<61>s what this is all about? Did you bring her up here to
|
||
get back at me?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Michelle</b>: No, actually, see I had to pee, <20>cause I can<61>t use public bathrooms
|
||
because the doodie parasites.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Ok, Michelle, it<69>s time to go.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Michelle</b>: Well, call me!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Ok.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Michelle</b>: No, wait, you don<6F>t have my phone number!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> You know, if it<69>s meant to be, I<>ll guess it. Bye, bye.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Score.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, I am sorry, did you not like her, because I was hoping that we
|
||
could come to one of your kissing parties on<br>
|
||
the balcony.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Oh God, I can<61>t believe you<6F>re making such a big deal about this.
|
||
It was one kiss, one guy, one time!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, really!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Yeah.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, really!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Oh yeah.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross</b>: What about the guy from the bar?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: What? Who?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> The guy you gave your number to.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Whoa, how do you know about that?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Because he called here looking for you. So don<6F>t tell me this...this
|
||
kissing this guy from work is a one time thing,<br>
|
||
ok? You<6F>ve been out there in bars and on balconies for over a month now. And
|
||
you didn<64>t even have the courtesy to tell me.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Why didn<64>t I get that message?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> What?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: From the guy in the bar, why didn<64>t I get that message?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Because I folded it up and put in my pants pocket. Do you...do you
|
||
not look there?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Ross?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> I never gave it to you.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Why?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> I don<6F>t know.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Oh God. You know what? Who you think you are? Who are you to decide
|
||
what messages I should or should not get?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Who am I?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Yes.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> I am the guy who<68>s taking care of our baby while you<6F>re out at bars
|
||
meeting guys!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Oh my God, I cannot believe this. You know I actually came in here
|
||
hoping to have a mature conversation with you<br>
|
||
About us! But I can<61>t do that with someone who hides my messages and brings
|
||
crazy women back to my apartment!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> None of the sane ones wanted to come back with me! That<61>s not the
|
||
point. Ok? The point is you...you are the one<br>
|
||
Who moved on and didn<64>t tell anyone!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Oh, Ross, this is just so messed up! What<61>s wrong with us? You
|
||
know when people hear about our situation they<br>
|
||
Always ask, <20>what, you live together but you<6F>re not a couple? And you have a
|
||
baby, isn<73>t that weird?<3F> And I say <20>No.<br>
|
||
You know what, it<69>s not, because it works for us!<21> But you know this doesn<73>t
|
||
work. In fact this is the opposite of working!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Uh, clearly.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: And you know, we said that we would, we would live together as
|
||
long as this makes sense. An maybe this, you know,<br>
|
||
Just doesn<73>t make sense anymore.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, maybe not. So what you wanna do?</p>
|
||
<p> </p>
|
||
<p>[Scene: Joey's]</p>
|
||
<p> </p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Hey!</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Hi. Can Emma and I live here for a while?</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Ha, oh, of course.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Rachel</b>: Thank you.</p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Joey</b>: Your eyebrows look weird.</p>
|
||
<p> </p>
|
||
<p align="CENTER">[Ending Credits]</p>
|
||
<p> </p><b>
|
||
</b><p><b>Chandler</b>: <20>Jeremiah was a bullfrog. Was a good friend of mine, never understood
|
||
a single word he said, but I helped him<br>
|
||
drink his wine.<2E> So you just touch yourself for anything?</p>
|
||
<p align="CENTER"> </p>
|
||
<p align="CENTER"> </p>
|
||
<p align="CENTER">END</p>
|
||
|
||
|
||
</body></html> |