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<title>The One With Chandler In A Box</title>
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<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
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<body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" link="#008000" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
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<h1 align="center"><strong>The One With Chandler in a Box</strong></h1>
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<hr>
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<p>Written by: Michael Borkow<br>
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Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
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<hr>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is sitting at the counter reading a magazine as the
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phone rings.]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (answering phone) Hello.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (on phone) Hey, it’s me. I know you can’t stand to be in the
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same room as me, so I just thought I’d try and apologize over the phone. All I…
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(Joey hangs up the phone in disgust.)</p>
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<p>(Pause)</p>
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<p>(The phone rings again.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (answering phone) Hello.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Look I never should have kissed your girlfriend, but I’m…
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(Joey hangs up the phone again.)</p>
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<p>(Pause)</p>
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<p>(The phone rings yet again.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (answering phone) Stop callin’!!</p>
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<p><b>Voice:</b> (on phone) Hey! Hey! Hey! This is 92.3, WXRK, K-Rock for our $1,000 daily
|
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challenge.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> All right!</p>
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<p><b>Voice:</b> What is the name of your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do
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anything… (Joey realizes it’s Chandler and hangs up the phone in anger.)</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey and Chandler are there getting ready for
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Thanksgiving.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (entering) Aww, turkey! Aww, giving thanks! Aww!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Look everyone, it’s the spirit of Thanksgiving!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> So are things with you and Joey any better?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> They couldn’t be worse. I spent eight hours calling him last
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night, just trying to get him to talk to me.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh wow, eight hours? So you could probably really use one of those
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plug-in telephone headsets huh?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Should we <strong>all</strong> expect Christmas gifts that can be stolen
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from your office?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> You shouldn’t.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Speaking of Christmas, umm since Monica and I are starting a new
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business and have like no money, umm, this year maybe we could do secret Santa, and then
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we each only buy one gift. And-and there’s the added mystery of who gets who.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Who gets whom. (They all look at him.) I don’t know why I do that.</p>
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<p>[Cut to later, the gang, minus Joey, is watching the Thanksgiving Day parade.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, I’m gonna take a nap, turkey makes me sleepy.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> We haven’t eaten yet!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I know, but all that work you’re doing to get it ready, I
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just… (goes into her bedroom.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, by any chance did either of pick uh Rachel for your secret Santa,
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‘cause I wanna trade for her.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I picked her! Oh thank God you want her! Ooh!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Wow! Why do you want to get rid of her so badly?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Because she exchanges every gift she ever gets, it’s like
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impossible to get her something she likes. Come on, let’s trade!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh that’s not true! That’s not true! I got her that backpack
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and she loved it! I remember how much she was crying the day when that big dog ran off
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with it… (notices the look on Monica and Phoebe’s faces.) Oh, there was no big
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dog. All right this sucks! I already got her this briefcase, and I had R.G. put on
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it… (Phoebe looks confused.) Her initials…</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ohh.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, maybe you could give to somebody else. Ooh, like Ross Geller.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Op, y'know what though, it’s kind’ve a girlie briefcase.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Who cares? He works in a museum!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, what time is it? The big game is about to start!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You don’t have to do that, Ross and Joey aren’t here, you can
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watch the parade if you want.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Thanks.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> What is wrong with this freezer?! (She jabs her arm into the freezer and
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a piece of ice flies into her eye.) Ow! Ow!!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> God, what happened?!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh my God, ice just got in my eye!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (standing in her doorway) People are trying to sleep in here!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Monica got ice in her eye, and it hurts.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Open it up, let me see.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, y’know what, I can’t, it really kills.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well maybe you should put some ice on it.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ooh, God it looks bad.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Honey, maybe we should take you to a doctor.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> No, my eye doctor is Richard! I can’t go to him when I don’t
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have a boyfriend!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> He’s really picky about his patients.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Honey, you’ve got to go. What’s his office number?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Like I remember his office number! (Pause) Speed dial 7.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (on phone) Hi! Yeah, I’m calling on behalf of Monica Geller’s
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eye, and is um, is Richard Burke in today. (Listens) (to Monica) He’s out of town,
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but does she want to see the on-call doctor?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Yes!!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yes! She’s very excited about that.</p>
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<p>[Cut to later, Phoebe is adding butter to something and Ross is watching.]</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> This is so cool, ‘til Monica gets back, it’s like I’m
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head chef and I get to make all the decisions. (She looks at the remaining butter, and
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then decides to add it to the dish.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey-hey, I thought she told you to follow the recipe exactly!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, get out of my kitchen!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (entering) All right! Okay! I think I am making some progress with
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Joey, when I went into the apartment he went straight into his bedroom but he only slammed
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the door once! (Ross is pleased.) I mean yeah, he gave me the finger while doing it.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> All right I… I gotta call my mom and ask her a left handed cooking
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question.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> So listen ah, I picked Monica for secret Santa, but I’m already
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getting her something for Chanukah, I was wondering if you wanna switch.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh y’know what, I was already trying to trade for ah, well, you.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Really?! Wow! That’s-that’s so nice, what are you gonna get me?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I don’t know R.G., I was thinking something girlie for your
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office.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, well maybe Phoebe will switch with me.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh no-no-no, you don’t want to do that, then you’re gonna
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get stuck with Rachel and she exchanges every gift she ever gets.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, that’s not true! I’ve got her lots of stuff she never took
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back.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Like?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Like uh, that gold necklace I got her last year.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> When was the last time you saw her wear it?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, she wore it all Christmas day, and then uh…</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Big dog?</p>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is repacking the furniture into boxes to return it.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering) Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What are you doing?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I’m sending back all this stuff that Chandler bought out of guilt.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Everything? Even the TV?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> No! I’m putting that in my room.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Listen, Joey, I know what he did was wrong but don’t you think you
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could at least hear the guy out?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Back when you and Rachel were together, if Chandler had kissed her, would
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you hear him out?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> That’s a good point. So uh, how long are you gonna punish him?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Five years. </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> You’ve sentenced him?!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey! Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Joey, the guy’s your best friend.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> No, <strong>was</strong> my best friend. Anyway, I don’t know why
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you’re pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend,
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there’s a spot open.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, who? Me?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Wow! I’m honored! And y’know what I’m gonna do as my first
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act as your best friend?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I’m gonna get you to talk to Chandler.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> All right. But if you weren’t my best friend.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Kathy are sitting at a table and talking about
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Joey.]</p>
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<p><strong>Kathy:</strong> Oh my God, is it really that bad?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I walk into a room and he won’t even talk to me, he just mumbles
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something in Italian. And I<strong> know</strong> he only knows the bad words.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (entering) Hey Gunther, have you uh, have you seen Chandler?</p>
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<p><strong>Gunther:</strong> I thought you were Chandler. But umm, one of who is over
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there.</p>
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<p>(Joey turns around and sees them kissing.)</p>
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<p><strong>Kathy:</strong> Oh.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey Joe.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (Something in Italian.) (Storms out.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Dr. Burke’s office, Rachel and Monica are waiting as the doctor arrives.]</p>
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<p><b>Doctor:</b> I’ll be right with you. Okay? (to the nurse) Thanks, Wendy.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh my God! How cute is the on-call doctor?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ooh, so cute, that I’m thinking about jamming this pen in my eye.</p>
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<p>(The intercom buzzes.)</p>
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<p><b>Nurse:</b> Dr. Burke will see you know.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh no-no-no, not Dr. Burke. Dr. Burke is out of town. The-the on-call
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doctor will see me now.</p>
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<p><b>Nurse:</b> Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see
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you now.</p>
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<p><b>Dr. Timothy Burke:</b> Ready?</p>
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<p>(Monica looks at Rachel, who gives her the thumbs up.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is packing as Chandler rushes in.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey! I’m sorry! That—(sees that Joey is about to leave)
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where are you going?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> My folks.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, uh, when-when are you coming back?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I don’t know. I might stay there for a few days while I look for an
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apartment.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> What?!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, y’know at first I thought we could talk about this y’know,
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work it out, but uh, seeing you two together I don’t think I…</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, look, what do you want me to say? Do you want me to say that
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I’ll stop seeing her?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Look, it’s not about her. Okay? But seeing you two together just
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reminds me of what you did. And I don’t want to live with some one who doesn’t
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know what it is to be a friend. So, I’ll see ya. (He starts to leave, but Chandler
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grabs his bag and stops him.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, look, I know what it is to be a friend, I just-I just screwed up!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah! You did! And that’s why I’m leaving.</p>
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<p>(The chick and the duck walk into the living room.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> All right look, if you’re not gonna stay for me, then at least
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stay for them! Okay, they have had a <strong>very</strong> difficult year! What with the
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robbery and all!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> When that guy was robbing us, and I was locked in the entertainment unit
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for like six hours, you know what I was doing in there all that time? I was thinking about
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how I let you down! </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah! But if would’ve know what kind of friend you were gonna turn
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out to be, I wouldn’t have worried about it so much! See you around!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> All right, wait! Come on! Just wait one second! There has to be
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something that I can do! Something! If we still had that entertainment unit I would get in
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it for six hours and think about how I let you down. (Joey looks intrigued) What?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> We’ve got a box. (Motions to a large wooden box next to him.)</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Dr. Burke’s office, Tim is examining Monica.]</p>
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<p><b>Tim:</b> Last time I saw you, it was the morning I left for college. And you were
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just standing outside <em>The Dairy Queen</em>.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I was probably waiting for it to open.</p>
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<p><b>Tim:</b> I gotta tell you, you look great now.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> You look great too.</p>
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<p><b>Tim:</b> You’re an excellent patient!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> So how does it look?</p>
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<p><b>Tim:</b> Well, you’ve got a little scratch on your cornea, your gonna have to
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wear a patch for a couple of days.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Like a pirate?!</p>
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<p><b>Tim:</b> If that helps you. </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Umm, so how long have you been working with your dad? (He looks at her)
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Come on, one of us had to mention him.</p>
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<p><b>Tim:</b> I moved back here a couple of months ago.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh. Big family dinner tonight?</p>
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<p><b>Tim:</b> Uh. (He holds up a brown lunch bag.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> No way!</p>
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<p><b>Tim:</b> I was gonna have Thanksgiving at my girlfriend’s.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (disappointed) Oh.</p>
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<p><b>Tim:</b> But we broke up.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (happy) Oh. </p>
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<p><b>Tim:</b> She-she wasn’t ready for a serious commitment.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (sympathetic) Oh. (in a pirate’s voice) So you made her walk the
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plank? Aye, matie?</p>
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<p><b>Tim:</b> You’re not wearing the patch yet.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I know.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, It’s closer to dinner. Monica has just told everyone
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that Tim is coming to dinner.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> He’s coming here for Thanksgiving!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I know, it’s sick.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Why is it sick?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Because it’s Richard’s son! It’s like inviting Greek
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tragedy over for dinner!</p>
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||
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey, come on, Phoebe, you understand don’t you?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, I can see where I’d be your best shot but, no. I’m
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sorry, but I think it’s twisted.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (coming out of the bathroom) What’s twisted?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Me going out with Richard’s son.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Ewwwww!! Ew! Ew! Ew!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (He is now in the box, in their living room.) Sounds like a really bad
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idea to me.</p>
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|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Is he okay in there?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> He’s fine!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, y'know, Mon, if things wrong out between you and Richard’s son,
|
||
you’d be able to tell your kids, that you slept with their grandfather.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian,
|
||
(points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice
|
||
dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler)
|
||
livin’ in a box!! (goes to her room)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> So now, what exactly is the point of the box?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Chandler?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> The meaning of the box is three fold. One (holds a finger up through
|
||
the air hole), it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two (holds up another
|
||
finger), it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three (holds up a
|
||
third finger), it hurts!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (to Rachel) Oh hey! Hey uh, you remember the necklace I gave you last
|
||
year? Can I see it?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (worried) Why?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I just wanna check something.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay. (She goes into her bedroom)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (He puts his hand over the hole on the box.) (to Chandler) Now, we’ll
|
||
see.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Air hole! Air hole!! (Ross retracts his hand quickly.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (coming out of her bedroom with a necklace) Here it is! I love it. I
|
||
wear it all the time.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (grabbing the necklace) The necklace I got you was gold, this one is
|
||
silver.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Huh, well maybe it uh, it changed. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh my God! You actually exchanged it!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well isn’t it better that I exchanged it for something that I enjoy
|
||
and that I can get a lot of use out of?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What did you get?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Credit. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(There’s a knock on the door.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (running in from her bedroom) I’ll get it! I’ll get it!
|
||
I’ll get it! I’ll get it! I’ll get it! I’ll get it! I’ll get it!
|
||
I’ll get it! I’ll get it! I’ll get it! I’ll get it! I’ll get it!
|
||
I’ll get it! I’ll get it! (opens the door) Hi, Tim.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Tim:</b> Hi. (gives her a bottle of wine)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Thank you. Come meet my friends. This is uh, Phoebe. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Tim:</b> Hi, nice to meet you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> And Joey.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Tim:</b> Hi, Joey.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> My brother, Ross.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> And Rachel. (Chandler clears his voice loudly) And that’s Chandler.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> How do ya do.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Tim:</b> What’s…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Umm, well, he’s…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> He’s doin’ some thinkin’!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[cut to later, Joey, Rachel, Ross, and Tim are watching the football game, and they all
|
||
cheer loudly.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What happened? What happened?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> You kissed my girlfriend!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(A commercial for sunglasses comes on.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ooh, I like those sunglasses.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Like ‘em, like ‘em? Or, I’d like to get store credit for
|
||
that amount like ‘em?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (Swears in Italian, it’s the same term used by Joey earlier and
|
||
Joey nods his approval.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> All right everybody, this turkey is ready!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Tim:</b> Where can I wash up?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Here, let me show you. Okay, the towels are hanging next to the sink,
|
||
and umm, you can use the fancy soap.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Tim:</b> Thank you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Fancy soap? I thought we were savin’ that for the Pope!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> See he’s nice. Right?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, but Monica, do you actually want to be in a relationship where you
|
||
can actually use the phrase, "That’s not how your dad used to do it."</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Tim:</b> Wow! Everything looks great! Where should I sit?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I saved you a seat. (Motions to the one next to her.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (pouring the wine) Sick-sick-sick-sick.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(There’s a loud knocking.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, I’ll get it. (goes over to the door.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Gotcha! (laughs)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> That doesn’t sound like thinking to me!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Sorry!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Y’know I don’t think you should be talking at all in there! I
|
||
think you’ve got to much thinking to do to be talking and making jokes!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, okay, you got it!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ross, can you pass me the yams?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Sure! Oh, and Joey’s got the mashed potatoes if you want to exchange
|
||
them.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Would you stop?! What is the matter with you?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh-ho-ho, we’ve got company.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> There’s nothing the matter with me. See, I’m not completely
|
||
devoid of sentiment, see I have feelings.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, fine. (She gets up and walks into her bedroom)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(an awkward silence follows)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> You can’t tell, but I’m trying to break the tension by
|
||
mooning you guys!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right, look! If this is just a big joke to you, then forget about it,
|
||
all right?! This means something to me! And if it doesn’t mean anything to you, then
|
||
you should get out of there, otherwise you’re just an idiot in a box!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> You’re right, and I’m sorry! This means a lot to me! I want
|
||
you to be my friend again! I swear, I won’t say another word tonight.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> So are you gonna start taking this thing seriously?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Absolutely!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> That sounds like another word to me! Are you gonna take this seriously?
|
||
(There’s no response from Chandler.) Okay.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Rachel comes back carrying a shoe box.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Don’t say that I have no sentiment! (Starts to show Ross
|
||
what’s in the box.) This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell
|
||
from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! (Holds up a bone) This is from the
|
||
museum from the first time we… were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes,
|
||
but I keep the things that matter! </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I don’t know what to say, I’m sorry. Though, you’re not
|
||
supposed to take these. (Points to the bone) It’s like a million years old, we, we
|
||
actually, we had people looking for that.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Rachel glares at him.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to the balcony with Monica and Tim.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (putting off her coat) Ooh, this always happens. (Her coat gets stuck.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Tim:</b> Here, let me help. (Does so.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Thank you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Tim:</b> You-you have a very beautiful… eye.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Y’know all my friends think this is weird. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Tim:</b> Y’know I-I thought it was gonna be weird, I mean I almost called and
|
||
canceled, but it really isn’t.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I know! I mean it’s like me and your dad, that’s a totally
|
||
separate thing.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Tim:</b> Oh, I totally agree.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> We’re just two people who find each other very attractive. Right?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Tim leans in to kiss her. They stop, and when he tries to kiss her again, Monica pulls
|
||
away.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Tim:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Nothing. Nothing.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Tim:</b> No-no really, was-was that not okay?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> No-no-no that was good, it was, that was uh, that was a goood kiss…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Tim:</b> Oh my God! It didn’t remind you of…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (interrupting) Don’t say it!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Tim:</b> No, but it did! Didn’t it?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Tim:</b> Oh man!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I know!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(They both shiver in horror.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[cut to later, Tim has left. Monica is still shivering. There’s a knock on the
|
||
door.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I’ll get it. (It’s Kathy.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><strong>Kathy:</strong> (sees it’s Joey) Oh.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><strong>Kathy:</strong> Hey. Listen, I want you to know how sorry I am…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> That’s okay. Chandler’s the one I’m mad at.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><strong>Kathy:</strong> Well, I’m still sorry. Is he here?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> In the box.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><strong>Kathy:</strong> (going over to the box) Chandler?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, he-he can’t talk right now.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><strong>Kathy:</strong> Why not? What’s going on?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> He’s just trying to show Joey how much he means to him.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><strong>Kathy:</strong> By being in a box?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Joey, had reasons. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> They were threefold.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><strong>Kathy:</strong> Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make
|
||
this easier. Listen umm… (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint
|
||
and leave them alone.) Listen I don’t wanna be someone who comes between two best
|
||
friends. I just, I can’t stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I
|
||
don’t wanna be the cause of that. So, I don’t think we can see each other
|
||
anymore. I’m gonna go to my mom’s in Chicago, I’m gonna stay there for
|
||
awhile. I think this could’ve be something really amazing, but y’know this is
|
||
probably for the best. Y’know? I’m gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(She gets up and leaves, Chandler waves good-bye with one finger extended through the
|
||
air hole. Ross glares at Joey.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (starting to cry) Open the box!! (Runs over to do so.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> He can still catch her! Come on, get out of there! (He opens the box) Get
|
||
out of there!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> So?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, we’re gonna be fine! Get out!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, you did some real good thinkin’ in there.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Man, this is… </p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Joey says something unintelligible and they hug.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Now go! ‘Cause you can still catch her! And Merry Christmas from
|
||
you’re secret Santa! (Chandler runs out and closes the door.) </p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(After he’s gone.) </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right, who got Chandler? ‘Cause I uh, need to trade.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Closing Credits</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, the gang is all there watching Chandler.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, he sees her!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, he’s catching up to her!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, she sees him! Oh, they’re hugging!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> He’s taking her purse!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Uhh, that’s not them. I’m gonna go call the police.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, there they are!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(They watch them making up and sigh)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> All right, get a room.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
|
||
</body></html> |