mirror of
https://github.com/bvanroll/startrek-ml.git
synced 2025-08-29 20:12:40 +00:00
682 lines
22 KiB
HTML
682 lines
22 KiB
HTML
|
||
<!-- saved from url=(0055)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season3/306flash.htm -->
|
||
<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
|
||
<title>The One With The Flashback</title>
|
||
<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
|
||
|
||
<body bgcolor="white" text="black" link="green" vlink="black" alink="yellow" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
|
||
|
||
<h1 align="center">The One With The Flashback</h1>
|
||
|
||
<hr align="center">
|
||
<i>
|
||
|
||
</i><p><i></i>Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane<br>
|
||
Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
|
||
<font size="3">
|
||
|
||
<p>{Transcriber's Note: Rachel has two friends that are not named, so I referred to them
|
||
as Friend No. 1 and Friend No. 2.}</p>
|
||
</font>
|
||
|
||
<hr>
|
||
<font size="3">
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there including Janice.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Janice:</b> Janice has a question. Who of the six of you has sleep with the six of
|
||
you?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wow, it’s like a dirty math problem.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I’m sorry the answer there would be...none of us.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Janice:</b> Come on over the years none of you ever y'know, got drunk and stupid.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, that’s really a different question.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Janice:</b> I’m sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who
|
||
spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, there was that one time that Monica and Rachel got together.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica and Rachel:</b> What?!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Excuse me, there was no time!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay, but let’s say there was. How might that go?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Janice:</b> Okay, okay, well then answer me this. Has any of you ever.... almost?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Does anybody need more coffee?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, I’ll take some.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, there’s a dog out there!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Phoebe’s, three years earlier, Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are
|
||
there]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, that is so unfortunate.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Cute naked guy is really starting to put on weight.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (entering from bedroom) Okay, I’ll be back in just a minute. Oh,
|
||
Phoebe I’m sorry that I left lipstick marks on the phone.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You didn’t leave lipstick marks on the phone.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, then it must’ve been you. Bye. (leaves)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (angrily) Bye-bye! (to Ross) That’s why I moved out.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, y'know while we’re on that, when are you gonna tell my sister
|
||
that you don’t live here anymore.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I think on some levels she already knows.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Phoebe, she doesn’t know that you sneak out every night, she
|
||
doesn’t know that you sneak back every morning, and she doesn’t know that
|
||
you’ve been living with your Grandmother’s for a week now.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, well maybe not on those levels.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (entering, with a goatee) Hey.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I’m never gonna find a roommate, ever.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Why, nobody good?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well let’s see, there was the guy with the ferrets, that’s
|
||
plural. The spitter. Oh-ho, and yes, the guy that enjoyed my name so much he felt the need
|
||
to make a little noise every time he said it. Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing <i>Bing!</i>
|
||
Great apartment Chandler Bing, <i>Bing!</i></p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> So how many more do you have tomorrow?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Two. This photographer, who seemed really dull. And this actor guy,
|
||
who I’m not sure about, because when he called and I answered the phone
|
||
‘Chandler Bing,’ he said ‘Whoa-whoa, short message.’</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (entering) Ross (who has his foot on the coffee table), foot on the
|
||
floor or come over no more!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (to Phoebe) Sure, your dresser is missing but this she notices.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I have to go. Yeah, Carol should be home by now, soo...</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Umm, how’s it going with you guys?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, better, actually. Y'know I-I-I think I finally figured out why we were
|
||
having so much trouble lately.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, really?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, y'know how I have you guys, well she doesn’t really have any
|
||
close friends that are just hers, but last week she meet this woman at the gym, Susan
|
||
something, and they really hit it off, and I-I-I think it’s gonna make a difference</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Chandler’s, Chandler is interviewing a potential roommate.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Soo, ah, Eric, what kind of photography do ya do?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Eric:</b> Oh, mostly fashion, so there may be models here from time to time, I hope
|
||
that’s cool.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes, that is cool. Because I have models here y'know......never.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Eric:</b> Oh, yeah, during the summer, I spend most weekends at my sister’s
|
||
beach house, which you are welcome to use by the way. Although, I should probably tell
|
||
you, she’s a porn star. (Chandler breaks his pencil in half)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, listen I ah, still have one more person to ah meet, but unless
|
||
it turns out to be your sister, I think you’re chances are pretty good. (Eric offers
|
||
to shake hands) All right. (Chandler hugs him.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Chandler’s, Chandler is interviewing Joey.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (running around the apartment pointing out things) Bedroom. Bathroom.
|
||
Living room. This right here is the kitchen, and thanks for coming by, (opens door)
|
||
Bye-bye.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Don’t you ah, don’t you wanna ask me any questions?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Sure. Ummm. What’s up?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, ah, I’m an actor. I’m fairly neat. I ah, I got my own TV.
|
||
Oh, and don’t worry I’m totally okay with the gay thing.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What gay thing?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ah, y'know just in general people being gay, thing. I’m totally cool
|
||
with that.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: the hallway, Monica is coming up the stairs.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well okay Jerry, thanks for stopping by.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Joey is leaving and notices Monica, as Monica notices him)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hi.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Joey leaves and Monica mouths to Chandler ‘Oh my God!’)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: A bar, Chandler is entering.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, Mon.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey-hey-hey. You wanna hear something that sucks.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Do I ever.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Chris says they’re closing down the bar.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No way!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah, apparently they’re turning it into some kinda coffee place.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Just coffee! Where are we gonna hang out now?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Got me.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (to bartender) Can I get a beer.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey, did you pick a roommate?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> You betcha!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Is it the Italian guy?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Um-mm, yeah right!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> He’s so cute.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh yes, and that’s what I want a roommate that I can walk around
|
||
with and be referred to as the funny one.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh look, the pool table’s free. Rack ‘em up. I’ll be back
|
||
in just a minute. Get ready for me to whip your butt.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, but after that, we’re shootin’ some pool.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (sitting at a table with some of her friends) (to waitress) Oh, um, no,
|
||
no, no, no excuse me, hello. Hi. My friend ordered an onion, not an olive, and uh I
|
||
ordered a rum and <i>Diet Coke</i>, which I don’t think this is.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Waitress:</b> I am so sorry.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> That’s all right. (to her friends) I mean hard is it to get a
|
||
couple drinks right, huh?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Friend No. 1:</b> Well, I would like to propose a toast to the woman, who in one
|
||
year from today, become Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber DDS</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ummm, I think it’s time to see the ring again. (holds her hand out
|
||
and they all scream)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Friend No. 2:</b> Oh, isn’t it exciting, I mean it’s like having a
|
||
boyfriend for life.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, I know.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Friend No. 1:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, I don’t know. Well maybe it’s just the idea of Barry for
|
||
the rest of my life. I don’t know I think I feel like I need to have one last fling,
|
||
y'know, just to sorta get it out of my system. (Chandler is listening in very intensely)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Friend No. 1:</b> Rachel stop!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Friend No. 2:</b> You’re so bad!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I’m serious, I really, I think I need just to have
|
||
some...meaningless, sex y'know, with the next guy that I see.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Chandler throws the cue ball under there table.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Excuse, I seem to have dropped my ball.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, so?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (picks it up) And now I’ve picked it up again. (walks over to
|
||
Monica.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh my God, I went to high school with her. (to Rachel) Rachel! Hi!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Monica! Look! Hi! What do ya think? (shows her, her ring)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh my God, you can’t even see where the Titanic hit it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes, his name is Barry, he’s a doctor, thank you very much.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Awww, just like you always wanted. Congratulations</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Thank you. So how-how ‘bout you, are-are you seeing anybody?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Aww, not right now.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, but that’s okay.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I know.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(An awkward silence)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> So, I’ll get-get back to my friend.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure. (points at Chandler, who holds up the
|
||
cue ball as a ‘Remember me?’ thing) Listen, can we please have lunch the next
|
||
time I’m in the city?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, that’d be great.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Thanks.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Bye!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Bye! (to Chandler) Ten bucks says, I never see that woman again in my
|
||
life.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Phoebe’s, Ross is on the phone, as Phoebe is walking by
|
||
carrying a lamp.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No real-, honey, really it’s fine, just g-go with Susan. Really, I,
|
||
no, I think girls night out is a great idea. Okay, okay, bye</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> So what are they doing?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I don’t know, something girlie.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (to Monica, who’s entering) Hey, you’re early.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What are you doing with the lamp?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I’m just taking it to be re-wired.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, well don’t take it to the same place you took the stereo,
|
||
‘cause they’ve had that thing for over a week.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(There is a knock on the door, Phoebe answers it, its Mr. Heckles)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, no, Mr. Heckles no one is making any noise up here.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Heckles:</b> You’re disturbing my oboe practice.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You don’t play the oboe!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Heckles:</b> I could play the oboe!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Then I’m gonna have to ask you to keep it down. (slams the door in
|
||
his face.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(in the hallway, Eric is moving in)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Heckles:</b> (to Eric) Who are you?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Eric:</b> Hi, I’m Eric, I’m gonna be Chandler’s new roommate.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Heckles:</b> I’m Chandler’s new roommate.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Eric:</b> I-I-I don’t think so.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Heckles:</b> I could be Chandler’s new roommate.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Eric:</b> But, he told me over the phone.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Heckles:</b> He told me in person.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Eric:</b> That’s weird.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Heckles:</b> Well, I’m going to go into my new apartment now. (goes over to
|
||
the door and opens it) Ehh! (Eric leaves)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(inside Chandler’s apartment, Chandler is coming in from his bedroom, sees Mr.
|
||
Heckles, and screams.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: the hallway, Joey is moving in, Monica is leaving.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hi, again.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey! (goes into the apartment)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (leaving to go to work) Hey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Thank you soo, much.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, don’t thank me, thank the jerk that never showed up. Okay, I
|
||
gotta get to get to work.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Joey comes back into the hallway and starts to pick up a heavy box)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> You want some help with that?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, no thanks, I got it. (picks it up) No I don’t!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Whoa! Are you okay?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Whew! Stood up to fast, got a little head rush.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> It’s the heat. (has her hand on his chest, and then pulls it away)
|
||
And-and the humidity.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> That’s a uh, that’s a tough combination.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Do you wanna come in for some lemonade?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Like you wouldn’t believe. (they go into the apartment) Wow! This is
|
||
a great place.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Thank you. Just make yourself comfortable.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Gotcha.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> This place is really my Grandmother’s. (Joey starts to take off all
|
||
of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her
|
||
when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the
|
||
landlord ever asks, I’m 87 year old woman, who’s afraid of her VCR. So are you
|
||
thirsty?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, you bet I am!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (turning around) Okay, here’s your penis!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: continued from earlier.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh my God!!! What are you doing?!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> You said, you wanna come in for some lemonade?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> So?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Whoa, ah!! We’re you just gonna give me some lemonade?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah huh!! Cover yourself up!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh right, right.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I don’t believe this! When someone asks you in for lemonade, and to
|
||
you that means they wanna have sex?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well usually...yeah! Well, not just lemonade, iced tea, sometimes juice.
|
||
Well, sorry, I just, I thought you liked me. I’m such a jerk.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> It’s okay. I suppose it could happen to anyone, not anyone I know,
|
||
but... By the way I can still see it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Phoebe’s, Monica is vacuuming.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Pheebs?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Huh?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Where’s your bed?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> It’s not in the apartment? (Monica gives a ‘Come on’
|
||
look) Oh no. I can’t believe this is happening again.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, enough with the third degree! I-I’ve, I don’t live here
|
||
anymore.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What are you talking about?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I’m sorry, I-I-I-I don’t live here anymore. I-I didn’t
|
||
know how to tell you, but y'know everybody else knows!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Everybody knows!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> That was supposed to be a good thing, I forget why. Just listen, Monica,
|
||
I, do you know, okay, do you know, I couldn’t sleep for like a month because I got
|
||
like a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, you-you coulda just turned the cushion over.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, I would’ve except I had a big spaghetti stain on the other
|
||
side.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What?!?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, this is what I’m talking about, this. I-I need to live in a
|
||
land where people can spill.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> You can spill. In the sink.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Aw, honey it’s not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I
|
||
love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I don’t see that
|
||
happening.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I love you, too. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Aww, good. (they hug) What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What? I’m just said.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No you’re not, you’re wondering which cushion it is.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, (now) Joey is watching <i>Baywatch</i>, as Chandler enters
|
||
from his bedroom.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> So ah, whatcha watching?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> <i>Baywatch.</i></p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What’s it about?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Lifeguards.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, it sounds kinda stupid... (looks at the TV) Who’s she?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Nicole Eggert. You'll like her.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(<i>Baywatch</i> goes into one of those running scenes.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Wow! Look at them run.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> They do that a lot. Hey, you want a beer?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, I’ll go get one.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No, no, no, don’t get up, I got a cooler right here.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica’s, Monica is coming out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a
|
||
towel, as Chandler is entering.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, hello!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Do you have any beers? We’re out of beers.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (all depressed) Help yourself.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> You okay?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Phoebe moved out.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Right.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I don’t understand, I mean am I so hard to live, is this why I
|
||
don’t have a boyfriend?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Noo!! You don’t have a boyfriend because....I don’t, I
|
||
don’t know why you don’t have a boyfriend. You should have a boyfriend.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, I think so.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh-ho, come here. (goes and hugs her) Listen, you are one of my
|
||
favourite people and the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known in real life.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: the bar, Ross is entering, Phoebe is at the bar, they are the only two in the
|
||
place.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (all depressed) Hi. Where is everybody?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, it’s already closed, Chris gave me the keys to lock up-what is
|
||
wrong?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> My marriage, I think my marriage is um, is kinda over.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh no! Why?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> ‘Cause Carol’s a lesbian. (Phoebe is shocked) And, and I’m
|
||
not one. And apparently it’s not a mix and match situation.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh my God! I don’t believe it! Oh, you poor bunny.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (sets out a bunch of shot glasses and starts to poor himself a drink, many
|
||
drinks) I’m an idiot. I mean shoulda seen it, I mean Carol and I’d be out and
|
||
she’d, she’d see some beautiful woman, and, and she’d be Ross y'know look
|
||
at her, and I’d think, God, my wife is cool!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, now I do!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I’m sorry.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Seven years. I mean we’ve been together seven years, she’s the
|
||
only woman who’s ever loved me, and the only woman I’ve-I’ve ever....</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Aw, God Ross. Oh.(goes over and hugs him)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica’s, Chandler and Monica are still hugging each other.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Umm, this is nice.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I know, it is isn’t it?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No, I mean it, this feels really good. Is it a hundred percent cotton?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah! And I got it on sale, too.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Anyway, I should go, one of the lifeguards was just about to dismantle
|
||
a nuclear device.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, if you wanna get a drink later we can.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh yeah, that sounds great. (starts to leave) Oh, and listen,
|
||
it’s, it’s gonna be....</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I know. Thanks. (Chandler leaves)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: the bar, Phoebe is still hugging Ross.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Maybe this would’ve happened if I’d been more nurturing, or
|
||
I’d paid more attention, or I... had a uterus. I can’t believe this!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I know no, no, y'know you don’t deserve this, you don’t Ross.
|
||
You’re, you’re really, you’re so good. (kisses him on the cheek)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Thanks.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> And you’re so sweet. (kisses him on the other cheek) And
|
||
you’re kind (kisses him on the lips)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Thanks. (kisses her on the lips)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(They pause, and they the start kissing passionately, and taking off each others
|
||
clothes, and they start to lie down on the pool table.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Huh?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Ross tries to clear off the pool table by knocking the balls to the other end of the
|
||
table, but they all bounce back, and he frantically starts to throw them into the
|
||
pockets.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, it’s okay.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Phoebe jumps on to the table and lays down, Ross follows her and hits his head on the
|
||
light hanging over the pool table.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh. (they start kissing again)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Wait, wait, wait.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> My foot is stuck in the pocket.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No, I can’t get it out.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well, that’s not something a girl wants to hear.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No, come on don’t start. (they start kissing again) Ouch!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Stupid balls are in the way. (holds up two balls)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(They both look at each other and start laughing (Lisa almost lost it there), and sit
|
||
up. Ross hits his head on the lamp again.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh well. It probably would’ve been the most constructive solution.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You have chalk on your face.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Huh? (the rest of the gang enters)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, Ross you’re right, I don’t know why I always thought this
|
||
was real grass.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey, are you okay?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> My wife’s a lesbian.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Cool!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><strong>Chandler:</strong> Ross-Joey, Joey-Ross. (they shake hands)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hi.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Closing Credits</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: the bar, Chandler is playing pool, as Rachel enters.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I can’t believe you came back.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Don’t say anything. I don’t wanna speak, I don’t wanna
|
||
think. I just want you to take me and kiss me and make love to me right here, right now.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(She hits the jukebox Fonzy style, and <i>It’s That Time of Season</i> starts to
|
||
play, as they start to kiss.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Friend No. 2:</b> Rachel! Rachel! (stirs Rachel from her dream, she’s in her
|
||
car driving back from the city)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Friend No. 2:</b> You missed the exit!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, sorry.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Friend No. 1:</b> My God, what were you thinking about?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Um, (shyly) Barry.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Her Friends:</b> Awwww!!</p>
|
||
</font>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong><font size="3">End</font></strong></p>
|
||
|
||
|
||
</body></html> |