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<title>The One With The Videotape</title>
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<h1 align="center">The One With The Videotape</h1>
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<hr>
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<p>Written by: Scott Silveri<br>
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Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
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<hr>
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<p>[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Monica are returning from their honeymoon.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Wait. Before we go in, I just want you to know I love you. I had a
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great time on our honeymoon, and I can’t wait to go in there and spend the rest of
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our life together.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> You’re really sticking with the shell necklace huh? (Points to
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necklace of shells he’s wearing.)</p>
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<p>(Joey and Phoebe burst forth from his apartment.)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey! You’re back! (Hugs and kisses all around.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hi sweetie!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Come on in! </p>
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<p>(They grab the luggage and drag it into Joey and Rachel’s forcing Monica and
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Chandler to follow.)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> So how was the honeymoon?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, so much fun. But the best part is, we met this incredible couple on
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the way back.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> That was the best part? (To Chandler) Good honeymooning tiger.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> No, they were really cool. They were on their honeymoon too!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> They’re terrific, and they live right here in the city.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah, can we go call them? Is it too soon to call? I wanna call.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I’m sorry, we’re just kinda excited because we finally have
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a couple to hang out with.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I know.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> A couple? Like two people? Like (points to himself) one (points to
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Phoebe), two people?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> This is different! Greg and Jenny are in a relationship.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, Greg and Jenny yuck! (Angrily) Hi Greg, I’m Chandler this is
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Monica. Hi Monica, this is Jenny. Hi Jenny. Hi Greg.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Listen, they are really great. If you just got a chance…</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Y’know what? Why don’t you just give us our souvenirs and get
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the hell out of here?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> We really…didn’t get a chance to…</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You have <b>got</b> to be kidding me!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> We didn’t get anything for anyone.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hm-mm! Yeah nice necklace!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> That you can have.</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
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<p>{Transcriber’s Note: Tradition was broken here as there were no commercials
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immediately after the opening credits, just more show.}</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Rachel are entering with the rest of the gang
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already inside.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi!</p>
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<p><strong>All:</strong> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hello!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Welcome home.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> So, how was the honeymoon?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> It was great! It was great! How about you?! I mean you’re having a
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baby!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh! Look! I have a sonogram picture! </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh great! (Shows them the picture.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Ross! It’s got your wavy black lines!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> All right, so now that Ross knows can you tell us y’know how it
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happened? I mean, when did it happen? How many times did it happen?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Monica! That’s not right! Start with where.</p>
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<p>(Rachel looks at Ross and gets his approval.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well it happened about six weeks ago, and uh I had just got home from
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work and Ross was already there ‘cause I guess he had been hanging out with Joey.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> You’re welcome buddy.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (glaring at him) Yeah, thanks. (Joey nods no problem.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> And so I had a lot of work to do so Ross, nice guy that he is, offered
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to help me out. And then we had a little wine, we got to talking, and the next thing you
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know out of nowhere Ross comes on to me.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (laughs) Umm that’s…that’s a little misleading.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What is?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> The lie you just told.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> That-that you came on to me?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> There’s the one!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> But you did! I mean, let’s be honest.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yes let’s. Y’know what? Uh, it’s-it’s not important.
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What is important is that, is that we’re having a baby. And it’s
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not—Doesn’t matter who came on to who.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Whom. (Everyone looks at him shocked.) That’s right.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> You know you kissed me first.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What? What?! You were begging me to kiss you! You-you-you were sending me
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signals all over the place!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> <b>I</b> was sending you signals?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh please. Okay, anyone in this room think that I would send Ross
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begging symbols, please show of hands. (Ross raises his hand and no one else.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Y’know what?! It doesn’t matter! It doesn’t matter what you
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believe! What matters is what happened!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay. So these signals Ross, explain this to me, ‘cause maybe I
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need to be more careful. I mean, am I sending you these signals right now?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Y’know what? Y’know what? Rachel, just-just drop it.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> No please, show me how I begged you!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I can show you, I have it on videotape! (Stunned silence) It’s an
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expression.</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time has lapsed, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are
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sitting at the kitchen table.]</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I can’t <b>believe</b> he taped the two of them having sex!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah! You gotta tell a girl before you tape her. Such a rookie mistake.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Y’know who has a great video camera?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (nasally) Greg and Jenny?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Do you still wanna call ‘em? I wanna call ‘em.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Let’s call ‘em.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah! Ask them if they brought their friends any souvenirs!</p>
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<p>(Monica goes over and dials their number.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Eighth street deli?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, hang up! You get food poisoning just talkin’ to that place.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (on phone) Uh sorry, wrong number. (Hangs up)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Here you go. (Shows her the number again.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (on phone) Hello? (Listens) (To All) It’s the deli again!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> All right! I’ll have a sandwich!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (hangs up) I don’t think this number’s right!</p>
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<p>(Joey and Phoebe laugh.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You got fake numbered.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> What?! People don’t do that!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh I think we do.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> They gave us a fake number? Why? Why would they do that?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I don’t know! You were a delight to talk to. You asked all those
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insightful, great questions.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> And you’ve never been funnier. Joke, joke, joke, you were a hoot!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Y’know what? Don’t worry about it, you still got me and Phoebe.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Excuse me, I don’t want Greg and Jenny’s rejects.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering) Rachel won’t talk to me! She won’t even open the
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door!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hmm, I wonder why. Pervert!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, listen I am not a pervert!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> That’s like the pervert motto! Yeah! Yeah! They have you raise your
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right hand, put your left hand down your pants, and repeat that!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Filming Rachel is not something I planned. Okay look, here’s what
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happened, and Joey you-you can back me up on this. All right, about-about a month and a
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half ago I came to you with a problem? Umm, a personal thing. </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Personal thing? What personal thing? I don’t know.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> About…about sex? (Joey looks at him confused) That I hadn’t had
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sex in months?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (laughs) Yeah I knew what you were talkin’ about.</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Six Weeks Earlier</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading a cereal box as Ross enters wearing the red
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sweater.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Do you have a minute? I’d like to talk to you about something
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I’m, I’m really uncomfortable talking about.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Sure. What? About uh, you showering with your mom?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I actually had a topic in mind! I’m, I’m kinda going through a
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dry spell, sex wise.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Whoa, for like months?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Five to be lying, six.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Six months? Whoa that’s rough.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, I mean it’s not all bad. I’m learning to appreciate the
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uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> The sky’s blue Ross and I had sex yesterday!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Please, help me! I have a date tonight. It has to go well
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okay—I’m scared for my health!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay. Okay. Umm…Ooh! Oh-oh, I got something. It’s this story I
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came up with, very romantic. I swear any woman that hears it; they’re like putty.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Really? Well then tell it to me.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay. Now you’re gonna want to have sex with me when you hear it, but
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you have to remember it is <b>just</b> the story.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (sarcastic) I’ll try to control myself.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay. (Clears throat) Years ago, when I was backpacking across Western
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Europe…</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (laughs) You were backpacking across Western Europe?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Have a nice six more months Ross! (Starts to leave.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (stopping him) Okay! Okay! Okay. I’m sorry. Please, please, you were
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in Western Europe and?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I was just outside Barcelona hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. I
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was at the end of this path and I came to a clearing and there was a lake, very secluded.
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And there were tall trees all around. (Whispering) It was dead silent. Gorgeous. (Softly)
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And across the lake I saw…a beautiful woman…bathing herself…but she was
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crying…</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (intently listening) Why?</p>
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<p>[Scene: Ross's Apartment, Ross is on his date with Kristen and they’re drinking
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wine.]</p>
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<p><b>Kristen:</b> Umm, this is great wine.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> It’s from France…In Europe…Western Europe. Y’know umm,
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a few years ago I actually was backpacking across Western Europe.</p>
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<p><b>Kristen:</b> Really?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh-hmm—Wait! It gets better. Um, yeah I was in Barcelona.</p>
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<p><b>Kristen:</b> I studied for a year in Barcelona. (Ross is stunned and worried.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Anyway, umm so I was um, I was hiking…</p>
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<p><b>Kristen:</b> I love hiking!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (whines) Oh that’s great! I was hiking along the foothills of Mount
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Tibidaybo…</p>
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<p><b>Kristen:</b> I think its Tibidabo.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay! Do you wanna tell the story?!</p>
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<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Ross enters.]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Whoa! What are you doing here? How did your date go?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Great! I’m across the street having sex with her right now. Your
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story sucks!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey! Look, if it didn’t work it’s because you didn’t tell
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it right! Show me how you did it.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> No! No, I don’t…don’t want to.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> How long since you’ve seen a girl naked?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I was backpacking across Western Europe.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I’m not feeling it.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I was just outside Barcelona, hiking…</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> No! No! No Ross! I’m not hot! Are you hot?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> It’s been six months! I’m always hot!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Well you’re not selling the story! It’s like; it’s like you
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don’t believe it! Look, I gotta go. I got a date, but try this. Do what I do when
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I’m preparing for an audition. Okay? I’ll set you up with my video camera and
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you can record yourself and-and see what you’re doing wrong.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I’ll try that.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> All right now… All right, you’re all set up. You’re good to
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go. Just hit record. All right?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Thanks.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Good luck.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Thanks. And-and hey Joe?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Listen, if you ever have any problem with the ladies you know I’ll
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help you out.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (trying not to laugh) That means a lot to me man. (Exits.)</p>
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<p>(Ross pours himself a glass of wine, hits record, and sits down in front of the
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camera.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hello! Can I get you anything? Huh? Lens cleaner? Your battery okay?
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(Rachel bursts in carrying two boxes and Ross jumps up.) Rachel!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh Ross!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Thank God you’re here! You have to help me! Were you just talking
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to yourself?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> That’s less embarrassing, yes. Yes I was.</p>
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<p>(They sit down on the couch, which is in front of the still recording camera.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (voiceover) So when she came in, I got distracted and totally forgot about
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the camera. [Cut back to the present day.] It kept rolling and recorded everything.</p>
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<p>(Pause)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, we’re gonna need to see that tape. (They rest of them
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agree.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah, definitely.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What a great idea! That will get Rachel to forgive me!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Y’know what? This is not fair to her. Let’s just forget the
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tape!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Thank you. (Joey mouths to Ross, "You’ll show me right?")
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No!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> You’re right. (Mouths, "I know you’ll show me, right?)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Joey! No!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Loud and clear! (Mouths, "You’ll show me," and nods.)</p>
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<p>(Ross storms out.)</p>
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|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are now sitting in
|
||
the living room.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I still don't get why Greg and Jenny would give us a fake number.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Y’know, if they knew what they were doing they probably didn’t
|
||
give you real names either.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, maybe people give out fake numbers, but they don’t give out
|
||
fake names.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh yeah? (To Phoebe) Hi, Ken Adams, nice to meet you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Regina Philange. (Ken and Regina shake hands.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I still don’t get it, we didn’t do anything wrong.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I know! Although, you did tell an awful lot of jokes.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I thought you said those jokes were funny. Joke! Joke! Joke!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (rolling her head from side to side) Joke. Joke. Blah! Blah! (Joey and
|
||
Phoebe laugh.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well maybe it was all of your questions.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What about my questions?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> The sheer volume, it was like flying with the Riddler!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, I’m sorry. Was that another joke?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (angrily) Was that another question?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (entering) Hey! Is Ross still here?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Uh no Rach, he’s gone. But listen, he told us what happened and it
|
||
does, it sounds like an honest mistake.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped
|
||
it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of
|
||
my child, the porn king of the west village.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Look, it was accident! Okay? I-I feel bad that it happened, but I swear, I
|
||
didn’t even watch it! Anyway, here. (He takes the tape out of his coat pocket.) I
|
||
thought you might be more comfortable destroying it yourself. (Tosses her the tape.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Thank you. (She sets it on the floor and is about to stomp on it with
|
||
her shoe when the rest of the gang jumps up and yells simultaneously.) What? (They all
|
||
yell again.) You don’t want to see this do you?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hell yeah!!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I am <b>not</b> gonna show you this!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No! Not the sex part, just the stuff leading up to it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Forget it, she’s destroying it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay fine! Fine! We’ll just have to think of some other way to put
|
||
the whole ‘Who came onto who,’ thing to rest! Come on now, think!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Look, forget it Phoebe. Okay? It’s Rachel’s tape and she can do
|
||
whatever she wants with it. And she wants to destroy it. So, end of story.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I wanna see it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Clearly you don’t want people to see this tape. Now I don’t
|
||
want people to see this tape either, but you so badly don’t people to see it makes me
|
||
want to see it. You see?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (confused) Are we watchin’ the tape or not?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I don’t want people to see it for your sake.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ahh, I don’t believe you. I think you don’t want them to see
|
||
you begging me. (Goes to put the tape in the VCR)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Rachel, please…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ah, a little preview!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Fine. Fine, but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high
|
||
road, because in about five minutes I’m gonna be saying…(He laughs and points at
|
||
Rachel sarcastically.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(They both sit down.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, here we go. (Pushes play.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (on tape) Hello! Can I get you anything?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (To Phoebe) I’m so happy!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the scene is continued from earlier.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (on tape) Oh, thank God you’re here! You have to help me! Were you
|
||
just talking to yourself?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> There I am.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You’re gonna get pregnant.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (on tape) I screwed up so bad, I told Monica that I would stuff and send
|
||
all these wedding invitations like weeks ago and I-I…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (on tape) You didn’t do it?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (on tape) I-I know—I had put them in…in-in my desk at work and
|
||
I completely forgot about them until today.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Chandler is shocked and Rachel gets scared of Monica very quickly.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (taking Rachel’s hand) Sweetie okay. It’s okay. Everybody made
|
||
it to the wedding. I’m fine.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Kinda hurtin’ my hand though.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I know.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (on tape) (Ross hands her a glass of wine) I cannot believe that I did
|
||
this. Especially after Monica just went on and on and on about it! (Mimicking Monica)
|
||
"Okay Rachel! Here are the invitations Rachel! Now be very careful Rachel! Please,
|
||
drinking no liquids around the invitations Rachel!" (She tilts her wine glass above
|
||
and moves it back and forth across the invitations) Whoa oh! Oh-oh-oh!
|
||
Oh…oh-oh-oh…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Rachel hits fast forward. Monica is completely shocked.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Did you do <b>it</b> on our invitations?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (pause) Not on the ones we sent out.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> So, just the ones gave back to us and we had framed! (Slams the framed
|
||
invitation down onto the table.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Rachel stops fast forwarding.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (on tape) Can you believe this is already happening? I mean it seems
|
||
like yesterday they just got engaged.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (on tape) I know. Hey remember…remember the night they got engaged?
|
||
How uh, you and I almost…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (on tape) Oh, I remember how we almost. Do you think we would’ve
|
||
gone through with it? Y’know, if we hadn’t gotten caught. Do you think we
|
||
would’ve done it?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (on tape) I mean I…I know I wanted to. I just, I just wasn’t
|
||
sure if you wanted to.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (on tape) Oh I wanted to.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Ross and Rachel trade looks while watching the tape.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (on tape) So we…we both wanted to.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (on tape) Interesting.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (on tape) Yeah. (Pause) Anyway umm, it probably worked out for the best.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (on tape) Oh yeah, sure.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, in about ten seconds you’re gonna see him kiss me.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> And in about five seconds you’re gonna see why.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (on tape) Ross did I ever tell you about the time that I went
|
||
backpacking through Western Europe?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Joey’s shocked and everyone else looks at Rachel.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, get ready to see some beggin’!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, you came on to Ross!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Now I’m so happy.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What are you talking about?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> You used the Europe story!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> That’s the magic story you use when you wanna have sex!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> How do you know about that story?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> How do <b>you</b> know about that story?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I heard it from my friend Irene who heard it from some guy!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (raises his hand) Some guy!! (Points to himself.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No. No, she told me his name was Ken Adams.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (raises his hand and points to himself again) Ken Adams!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is looking at the tape sitting on the counter as Ross
|
||
enters.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hi.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> So uh, apparently people are familiar with the Europe story?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah. Listen about that, the whole uh, who came on to who thing really
|
||
doesn’t matter. I mean, I think it would’ve happened either way. I mean if you
|
||
hadn’t initiated it I-I-I know I would’ve.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> It was an amazing night.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> It was. It was an amazing night.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Pause)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You think it looked amazing?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I uh… I don’t know. I mean I…I honestly didn’t watch
|
||
it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, me neither. Yet…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Uhhhhhh…that-that may be weird.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, it would be really weird.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Ross grabs the tape and heads for the VCR as Rachel goes over and puts the chain on
|
||
the door and locks it.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Good luck.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Good luck to you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Ross pushes play.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Mind if I mute?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh please. (He does so.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, oh there go the clothes.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You are undressing very quickly.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Six months Rachel, six months.</p>
|
||
<b>
|
||
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross and <b>Rachel:</b></b> Ah. (Pause) Oh.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey. We-we look…we look pretty good.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> That’s what I was gonna say.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh nice tan!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Thank you! I had just gone to the beach that weekend.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Ah….</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Have you been working out?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I have been working out.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Really? Wow, this is so much better than I…</p>
|
||
<b>
|
||
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross and <b>Rachel:</b></b> Ohh! Ew!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh that’s not pretty.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh! Oh!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh God!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh no!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, make it stop!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh no!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Make it stop!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Have to make it stop!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No!!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(They both get out of the chair and run for the VCR.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Closing Credits</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler have gone through the phone book and
|
||
found Greg and Jenny’s number which Monica has just dialed.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (on phone) Hello Greg? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica from the plane?
|
||
Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5… (Listens) (To Chandler) That is their old
|
||
number! Jenny’s been giving it out since they moved!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Jenny! That is so Jenny!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (on phone) Hey listen umm, how would you like to get together? Say next
|
||
Saturday? (Listens) Okay, how about Sunday? (Listens) Okay umm, the week after that?
|
||
(Listens) The week after that? (Listens) Y’know what Greg? Y’know what? We are
|
||
good, interesting, funny people with <b>good</b> questions and if you and your precious
|
||
Jenny can’t see that then… (Listens) January 15<sup>th</sup>? (Chandler dances.)
|
||
We’ll see you then! (Listens) Okay! </p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(She hangs up the phone and they hug.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
|
||
</body></html> |