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<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252"><title>The One Where No One Proposes</title>
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<h1 align="center">The One Where No One Proposes</h1>
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<hr>
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<p>Written by: Sherry Bilsing-Graham & Ellen Plummer<br>Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:webmaster@thecfsi.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
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<hr>
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<p>[Scene: Rachel’s Room, Joey moves Ross’s coat to get the tissues Rachel wants
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and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was
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inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that it’s an
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engagement ring.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Joey.</p>
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<p>(He turns to face Rachel on one knee with the box open.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (seeing the ring) Oh my God. (Pause) Okay.</p>
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<p>(Joey is stunned.)</p>
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<p>[Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking
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down the hall to Rachel’s room.]</p>
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<p>[Cut back into Rachel’s room.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> So uh…I guess we should…make it official huh?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Uh… Look Rach…(Ross enters.) Hey Ross is here! Hey look! It’s my
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good friend Ross. Hey Ross.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey Joey. (To Rachel) Hey you.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey you.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey and look he brought flowers. Thanks Ross, but I’m really
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more of a candy guy. (Laughs.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> You’re weird today. (He turns to Rachel and Joey puts the ring
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back.) (To Rachel) Listen I uh, wanted to talk to you about something.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Uh yeah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh Joey, can you give us just a minute?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> No.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, I’m sorry. I meant no.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (entering with everyone else including Mr. Geller) Hi! Hey
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look who’s here!</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Where’s my granddaughter? I’ve been practicing my magic
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tricks.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> He pulled a quarter out of my ear!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, where’s uh, where’s mom?</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> She went to pick up Aunt Liddy.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, Aunt Liddy’s coming? That means we get five dollars
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each!</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> So when do I get to meet Emma and show her this? (Pulls a
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bouquet of flowers out of his sleeve.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay. Wow.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh Dad, Emma’s in the nursery. I’ll take you now. If you want,
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but (To Rachel) I really want to talk to you.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I know, I still need to talk to you.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh hey but, before you guys do that (To Rachel) I need to talk
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to you, and Ross, I need to talk to you.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (To Monica) Oh and I need to talk to you.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> About what?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> To see if know what these guys are talking about.</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Outside the Nursery, everyone but Rachel is standing and looking into
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the window.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Isn’t she beautiful?</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Look at her, my first grandchild.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What about Ben?</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Well of course Ben, I meant my first granddaughter. (To
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Monica, mouths) Wow.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (taking Ross aside) Have umm, have you thought anymore about
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you and Rachel?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh well yeah, actually I was going to talk to her when you guys
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all came in the room.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yay! It’s so exciting! Wow, you could’ve done that with us
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there.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah right.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh sure okay, you can touch yourself in front of us but you
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can’t talk to Rachel.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What?! When have I ever touched myself in front of you guys?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh please! Just before when you were asleep in the lounge!
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That Armenian family was watching you instead of the TV. Oh, that reminds me.
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That Mr. Hasmeje still has my <i>Gameboy</i>.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (taking Chandler aside) Hey Chandler, can I talk to you for a
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second?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Sure.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Dude I just did something terrible.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> That was you?! I thought it was Jack!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> No! No, that was Jack! Rachel thinks I asked her to marry
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me!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> What?! Why does she think that?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Because it kinda looked like I did.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Again, what?!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay well, I was down on one knee with the ring in my hand…</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> As we all are at some point during the day.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> It wasn’t my ring! It fell out of Ross’s jacket! And when I
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knelt down to pick it up Rachel thought I was proposing!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Ross had a ring?! And he was gonna propose?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I guess.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> And you did it first?! This is gonna kill him! You know how
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much he loves to propose!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I know! I know it’s awful.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, what did she say?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (happily) She said yes.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Does Ross know?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh God, what the hell am I going to tell him?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well maybe you don’t have to tell him anything.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, I like that. Yeah…</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> If you clear things up with Rachel then Ross never needs to
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find out, but you have to do it now before he hears about it and kicks your
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ass!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (laughs) Now let’s not get carried away. (He walks away as
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Monica comes over and hugs Chandler from behind.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I want a baby.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Honey, we’ve been over this. I need to be facing the other
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way.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Come on! Come on, if we have sex again it’ll double our
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chances of getting pregnant. Do you think that closet’s still available?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I’m so tired. (She starts kissing him.) Yeah okay, but no
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foreplay.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Deal!</p>
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<p>[Back in front of the nursery window.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Dad seriously! Y’know you really should see someone about
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that!</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Noted.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I wanna go talk to Rachel for a minute, are you gonna be okay
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alone for a bit?</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Are you kidding me, I could stay and look at her
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forever.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (noticing something) Actually umm… (He turns Mr. Geller’s head
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to look at Emma.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Rachel’s Room, Phoebe is entering.]</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Are you all right?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Uhh… I think I just got engaged.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh my God! He did it?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well…did you know he was gonna ask me?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Are you kidding? I’m like the one who talked him into it. I
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like to think of myself as the puppet master of the group.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> And you really think this is a good idea?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I just talked him into it, don’t tell me I have to do you too.
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The puppet master gets tired people.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I just don’t know! It just doesn’t feel right.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Why?! You two are so meant to be together, everybody thinks
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so.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Really?! Even Ross?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Especially Ross!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (entering) Oh uh, hey Pheebs. Uh y’know what? I’ll-I’ll come
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back later. (He goes to leave but runs into Ross who’s entering.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Wow! Kind of uh, kind of a full house here. I’ll guess just…I’ll
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come back. (Ross exits followed by Joey.)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> There he goes, your fiancée. </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I guess so.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Although he does play with himself in his sleep.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I can’t say that I’m surprised.</p>
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<p>[Scene: A hallway, Joey and Ross find Mr. Geller with his ear up against a
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janitor’s closet door.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Dad, what are you doing?</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> I think there are people in there having sex.</p>
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<p>(Ross turns to look at Joey.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> It can’t be me, I’m standing right here.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Wanna peek?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> No!</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Come on!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Y’know what? I don’t like you without mom. (To Joey) Come on.
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(Walks away.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (To Ross) We’re not peeking? (Follows him.)</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Well I’m peeking. (He peeks.) Oh my God!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hello sir, you know Monica.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Rachel’s Room, she is taking the ring out of Ross’s jacket, looks at
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it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey uh, is it okay to come in?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Of course! Oh Joey, this ring I…it’s beautiful I love it!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah uh look Rach, there’s something I gotta tell ya.</p>
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<p>(There’s a knock on the door and a nurse enters carrying Emma.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Nurse:</b> Hey! Are you ready to try nursing again?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah! Hi Emma. Hey, why do you think she won’t take my
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breast?</p>
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<p><b>Nurse:</b> It’s all right honey, it takes some babies a while to get it,
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but don’t worry. It’ll happen.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (watching) Yowsa! (Looks away.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay sweetie, you can do it. Just open up and put it in your
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mouth.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Dear Lord.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I’m sorry honey, what were you saying?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh uh-uh yeah, I think that…</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh look, she’s pulling away again! Do you think my nipples are
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too big for her mouth? (Joey gets embarrassed.) She looks scared. Doesn’t she
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look scared?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Y’know, I don’t really know her.</p>
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<p><b>Nurse:</b> Why don’t we try massaging the breast to stimulate the flow.
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(Does so.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (To God) Are you kidding me?!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> It’s just so frustrating! Why doesn’t she want my breast?!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I don’t know! Maybe she’s crazy! (Storms out.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: The Lobby, Ross is eating a sandwich as Phoebe rushes up to him.]</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh hey! Wait up!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Congratulations! I didn’t want to say anything in front of
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Joey ‘cause I didn’t know if he knew yet.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What, that we had a baby? Come on let’s give him a little
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credit, although, he did eat a piece of plastic fruit earlier.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No! No, that you and Rachel are engaged!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, it’s a secret. Oh goodie! Yes! We haven’t done the secret
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thing in a long time.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Phoebe, there is no secret. Okay? I didn’t propose.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Are you lying? Is this like that time you tried to convince us
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that you were a doctor?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (pause) I <b>am</b> a doctor! Y’know what? I’m just gonna go and
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talk to Rachel myself.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> All right, me too. (They go into her room and see that she’s
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sleeping.) Should we wake her up?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> No! No, come on let her sleep! She’s so exhausted.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> And so engaged. (Points to the ring that Rachel is
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wearing.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What? (Motions for Phoebe to go outside with him.) Oh my God!
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She-she thinks we’re engaged! Why? Why? Why would she think we’re engaged?!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Perhaps because you gave her an engagement ring? Y’know Ross
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doctors are supposed to be smart.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I didn’t give her that ring!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Really?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> No!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> So whose ring is it?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> It’s mine.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Is it an engagement ring?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yes!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> But you didn’t give it to her?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> No!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> But you were going to propose?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> No!!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Huh, I might be losing interest in this.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Look. Look, my mom gave me that ring because she wanted me to
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propose to Rachel, but all I wanted to do is if she maybe…kinda…wanted
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ah…start…things up again.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, what beautiful lukewarm sentiment.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Look, I didn’t want to rush into anything. And it seemed like
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she didn’t want to either. But I don’t, I don’t understand how any of this
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happened! What? Did she find the ring in my jacket, assume that I was going to
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propose, throw it on, and-and just start telling people?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No! No, she said you actually proposed to her.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Well I didn’t! I didn’t propose! (Pause) Unless uh… (Pause) Did
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I? I haven’t slept in forty hours and…it does sound like something I would
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do.</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: The Janitor’s Closet, Chandler and Monica are trying to figure out
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what to do now.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Look, we can’t stay in here forever.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, I still can’t believe my dad saw us having sex! He didn’t
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make it to <b>one</b> of piano recitals, but <b>this</b> he sees!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> This is okay. We’re all adults here; there’s nothing to be
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ashamed of. Now, let’s put our underwear in our pockets and walk out the door.
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(They do so and find Mr. Geller leaning against a wall stunned.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hi Dad! I can still call you that right?</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Of course. I’ll always be your dad.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I just want you to know that what you witnessed in there,
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that wasn’t for fun.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> It wasn’t fun?!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (To Monica) Why? Why-why-would you—Wh-why… (To Mr. Geller)
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Look, I just don’t want you to think that we’re animals who do it whenever we
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want.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Oh, I don’t think that. Before today I never thought of
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you two having sex at all. It was a simpler time.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> The truth is, Dad, we’re-we’re trying.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah, we’re trying to get pregnant.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Oh my God! This is so exciting! Well, get back in there!
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(Points to the closet) I’ll guard the door!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, that’s okay dad, we-we can wait until later.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Whoa-whoa-whoa! I don’t think so! Aren’t you
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ovulating?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Daddy?!</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Well you gotta get at it princess! When your mother and I
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were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it. That’s
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how I got my bad hip.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> That’s funny, this conversation’s how I got the bullet hole
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in my head.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> This one time I had my knee up on the sink and your
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mother, she was…</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Daddy! I don’t think we need to hear about the specific
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positions you and mom had sex.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> You’re right, you’re right. This is about your positions.
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Now, what I saw in the closet is not the optimum position for conceiving a
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child, although it might feel good.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I don’t feel good right now.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> But pleasure is important, (To Chandler) and it helps if
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the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Seriously sir, my brains? All over the wall.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Rachel’s Room, Monica is entering.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey. I need to tell you something.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, now’s a good time. I’m on my way to have my ears cut
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off.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Joey asked me marry him.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Joey proposed to me.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Is he crazy?! You just had Ross’s baby!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, I-I said yes.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What?! Are you crazy? You just had Ross’s baby! It’s-it’s so
|
||
inappropriate. No, it’s worse than that. It’s wrong. It’s… It is bigger than
|
||
mine! (Rachel’s engagement ring.)</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I know. <i>Days of Our Lives</i>, thank you very much.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> You can’t marry him!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Why not? I don’t want to do this alone! And he’s such a sweet
|
||
guy and he loves me so much.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well do you love him?</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Sure.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Sure?</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, I mean whatever.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Honey, the question is…do you really want to marry Joey?</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No. No, I don’t. Could you be a dear and go tell him?</p>
|
||
<p>[Scene: A Hallway, Chandler is following Joey.]</p>
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> You still haven’t told Rachel you weren’t really
|
||
proposing?</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No! She had the ring on, she seemed so excited, and then she
|
||
took her breast out.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Joey, you have to tell her what’s going on! And what did it
|
||
look like?!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I didn’t look at it. Stupid baby’s head was blocking most of
|
||
it.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Go and tell Rachel right now before Ross finds out.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Look, it’s not that easy. She said she wanted to marry me. I
|
||
don’t want to hurt her.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, look, just do it gently.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> You’re right. You’re right. I-I’ll go tell her now before Ross
|
||
finds out and I’ll be gentle. I can do that. I am a gentle person. Oh, by the
|
||
way. Two people screwing in there (Points to the closet Chandler and Monica were
|
||
in) if you want to check that out.</p>
|
||
<p>[Scene: Rachel’s Room, Ross is entering.]</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Listen, I um… I heard about the engagement.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Surprised?</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> And confused. Rach, sweetie, I-I um…I didn’t propose to you.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I know.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I don’t think you do.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You didn’t propose to me. Joey did.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Poor baby, you’re so tired. Rach, I didn’t propose to you, Joey
|
||
didn’t propose to you, and Chandler didn’t propose to you.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Uh… You didn’t propose to me, Chandler didn’t propose to me,
|
||
but Joey did.</p>
|
||
<p>(Joey enters.)</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Joey proposed to you?</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I can come back.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, wait! Wait-wait-wait! Joey, did you propose to her?</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes you did!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Actually, technically, I didn’t.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well then why did you give me a ring?</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Wait! Whoa-whoa, you…you gave her the ring?</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No! No, and I did not ask her to marry me!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes, you did!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No, I didn’t!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes, you did!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No, I didn’t!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes, you did! And don’t you say, "No, I didn’t!"</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ahhh!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> He was right there. He got down on one knee and proposed.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Whoa! You were down on one knee?</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah. Yeah, that looks bad. But I didn’t…I didn’t propose!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Then what did happen?</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, what did happen?</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay, the ring fell on the floor and I went down to pick it up
|
||
and you thought I was proposing.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, but you said, "Will you marry me?"</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No, I didn’t!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes, you did!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No, I didn’t!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes, you did—Oh my God you didn’t! (Screams) Well then why
|
||
didn’t you tell me that before?!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well I tried, but people kept coming in and then you took your
|
||
breast out!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Whoa! Hey! Whoa-whoa-whoa, you saw her breast?!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (To Ross) I’ll tell you about it later. Be cool.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well then Joey, what the hell were you doing with an
|
||
engagement ring?!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> It wasn’t my ring! It’s Ross’s ring! That’s why I felt so bad
|
||
Rach, because he was going to propose.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What?!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You were gonna propose to me?</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Uhh… No.</p>
|
||
<p>(An awkward silence follows.)</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, this is awkward. {See? I told you so.}</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> But I-I was going to see if y’know, maybe you uh, start dating
|
||
again but that—I mean that-that was all, Rach.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Dude, step up! I proposed.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No, you didn’t!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh that’s right. There’s a lot going on here and I think I ate
|
||
some bad fruit earlier.</p>
|
||
<p>(There’s a knock on the door and the Nurse enters carrying Emma.)</p>
|
||
<p><b>Nurse:</b> Hey, she just woke up! She’s hungry. Why don’t we give this
|
||
another try?</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (To Joey) I can’t believe you told her I was going to
|
||
propose!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I can’t believe you’re not going to propose!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, I’m not going to rush into anything!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh yeah, dude, I totally understand. Usually after I have a baby
|
||
with a woman I like to slow things down!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh my God!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What?</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> She’s doing it Look, she’s breast-feeding look!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (looking at the ceiling) Ah, it’s beautiful.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Nurse:</b> I’ll come back for her later.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Thank you. (The nurse exits.)</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh wow, this feels weird.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Good weird?</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Wonderful weird.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Y’know what you guys? I’m uh, I’m gonna go too. And uh, I’m
|
||
sorry about everything.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Honey don’t worry, it was my mistake.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No, Rach, I should’ve told you sooner. It’s just that…Man! That
|
||
kid is going to town! (Joey makes his awkward exit.)</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> She’s perfect.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> We’re so lucky.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> We really are.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Look, I-I know it’s not a proposal and I don’t know where you
|
||
are, but with everything that’s been going on and with Emma and…I’ve been
|
||
feeling…</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I know. I know. I’ve feeling…</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah?</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah. (Laughs nervously)</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, well, that… Wow, okay, well, umm…then maybe, at least we
|
||
can, we can talk about us again.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, maybe.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well good, okay. I-I, kind of think y’know if we…if… You’re
|
||
wearing the ring.</p>
|
||
<p>(Pause.)</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Wh-what’s that?</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> And you told Phoebe you were engaged.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I’m sorry, what?</p>
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> When you thought Joey proposed did…did you say yes?</p>
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Closing Credits</strong></p>
|
||
<p>[Scene: Outside the Janitor’s Closet, there are people having sex and Mr.
|
||
Geller is trying to give them some pamphlets.]</p>
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> Kids, I spoke to a doctor and picked up this pamphlets on
|
||
how to get pregnant. (He slides them under the door.)</p>
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (walking by with Chandler.) Hey dad!</p>
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey.</p>
|
||
<p><b>Mr. Geller:</b> (pause) Sorry to bother you again, but could you pass my
|
||
pamphlets back? (They do so.) Thank you.</p>
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||
<hr>
|
||
|
||
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