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<title>The One With The Yeti</title>
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<body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" link="#008000" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
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<h1 align="center">The One With The Yeti</h1>
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<hr>
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<p>Written by: Alexa Junge<br>
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Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
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<hr>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica and Chandler are making out on one of the chairs.]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (entering) Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! None of that, not while you're living
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under my roof!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> What?!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Look, just because I <b>know</b> about you two, doesn't mean I like
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looking at it.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Aren't you supposed to be at an audition for another hour?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman! (Starts for his
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room.) And I'm also sorry if <b>sometimes</b> I go to the wrong audition! Okay, look, if I
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have to pretend I don't know about you two, then you two are gonna have to pretend there's
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nothing to know about.</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Chandler and <b>Monica:</b> </b>Okay.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Sorry.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Sorry.</p>
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<p>(They wait for Joey to go into his room and close the door and then start making out
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again.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (from the bedroom) I can hear that!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (To Chandler) Rachel's at work.</p>
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<p>(They both go to her apartment.)</p>
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<p>(Pause.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I can still hear you!</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are there as Phoebe enters carrying a
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large box.]</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hello!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey, what's that?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, my mom sent me a family heirloom that once belonged to my
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grandmother. Can you believe it?! A year ago I didn't even have a family, and now I have
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heirlooms for crying out loud.</p>
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<p>(She puts her leg up on the chair and removes this huge knife from her boot to open the
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box with. The guys are shocked at the knife's existence.)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Eeeee-(She opens the box and removes its contents and sees that it's a
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fur coat.)-ohh!! God! (She throws it at Joey.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Argh-argh!! (Catches the coat.) Ooh, soft. Is this mink?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah! <b>Why</b> would my mother send me a fur? Doesn't she know me but
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at all! Plus, I have a perfectly fine coat that no innocent animal suffered to make!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, just some 9-year-old Filipino kids who worked their fingers
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bloody for 12 cents an hour. (Phoebe stares at him wide-eyed. Chandler sees her reaction.)
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That didn't happen, I made that up!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering) Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Gunther:</b> Oh, Ross? Ross! You can't put up flyers in here.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> How come? Everybody else does.</p>
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<p><b>Gunther:</b> You can't.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> What is that?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, umm, I'm just getting rid of a couple of things.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (looking at the flyer) This is all of your things.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yes, yes it is! No, but it's good it's<>Emily thinks we should get all
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new stuff. Stuff that's just ours, together. Y'know brand new.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> So basically, this is a getting-rid-of-everything-Rachel-ever-used sale.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Touched. Used. Sat on. Sleep on.</p>
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<p><b>Gunther:</b> I'll take it all.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, Ross, you're okay with that?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Look, if I can just do what Emily wants and <b>get</b> her to New York,
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I'm sure everything will be fine.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, but don't you think this is a little extreme?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> After what <b>I</b> did? Can you blame her?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh my God! You got off easy! When my friend Silvie's husband said
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someone else's name in bed, she cursed him and turned his thingy green.</p>
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<p>(Ross suddenly gets up and heads for the bathroom.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (after Ross is gone) What is he doing? What, Emily, thinks Ross's
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furniture has got Rachel coodies?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Now calm down Joey.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> No! Everything's gettin' all messed up, y'know? Emily won't let Ross see
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Rachel, we're not gonna stop seeing Rachel, hence Ross stops seeing us!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, I hate this. Everything's changing.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah I know, we're losing Ross, Joey said hence<63></p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Look, I'm not happy about this either, but y'know if-if Ross says he's
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happy then we're just gonna have to keep our feelings about Emily to ourselves. Are you
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cool with that?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> No! But y'know, I'm an actor, I'll act cool.</p>
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<p>[Scene: The Storage Room in the basement of Monica and Rachel's building, Monica and
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Rachel are looking for something.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohh, whoa God! Storage rooms give me the creeps! Monica, come on please
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hurry up honey! Please? </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Rachel, if you want the little round waffles, you gotta have to wait
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until I find the little waffle iron.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I want the little round waffles.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> All right. (Looking through a box.) Op, here it is! Right underneath the
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can of-of bug bomb. I wonder if the best place to put something that cooks food is
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underneath the can of poison?</p>
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<p>(The single light flickers and goes out. Leaving the room in total darkness.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, y'know what? I'll-I'll have toast!</p>
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<p>(She starts to run out but is stopped by a figure looming out of the darkness carrying
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a pick axe.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Arghhhh!!!!!!</p>
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<p>(They both start screaming at the top of their lungs.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh my God! Fog him! Fog him!</p>
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<p>(Rachel grabs the bug bomb, activates it, throws it at the figure, and they both run
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out through the fog.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I don't know what I'm gonna do about this coat.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I'll take it!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> That might work! (She gives him the coat.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah! (He drapes it around his shoulders.) Enh? All right,
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what do you think?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> You're on in 5 Ms. Minnelli. </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (on the phone) No-no-no, it's just a bit sudden. (Listens) No, it's great.
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Okay? I'm totally on board. I love you too, all righty. Bye. (Hangs up.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> What's the matter Ross?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Nothing. Oh, actually, great news! I just got off the phone with Emily and
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it looks like I'm moving to a new apartment. Woo-hoo!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Why?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, her thought is, and I agree, fresh new furniture, why not a fresh
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new apartment? Her cousin has this great place to sublet, it's got a view of the river on
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one side and Columbia on the other.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> That's way uptown! That's like three trains away! (Phoebe pinches him.)
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Which is great! I love to ride that rail!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> So you're really okay with this?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yes! Yes! I mean it's-it's kinda far from work, but uh, y'know, I'll get
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so much done on the commute. I-I've been given the gift of time!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Now that's so funny, because last Christmas I got the gift of space.
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We should get them together and make a continuum.</p>
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<p>(Ross exits.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Now he's movin'? Man, what is Emily doing to him? (Phoebe pinches him
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again.) Ow!! He's not even here!!!</p>
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<p>(Monica and Rachel enter breathless.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> You guys! You guys!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> We were, we were just in the storage area and we saw this really creepy
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man!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> It was like this crazy-eyed, hairy beast man! He was like a, like a
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bigfoot or a <b>yeti</b> or something!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> And he came at us with an axe, so Rachel had to use a bug bomb on him!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (proud of herself) Yeah, I-I-I just pulled the tab and I just fogged his
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yeti ass!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Uhh, like dark hair, bushy beard?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, you fogged Danny.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Please! We did <b>not</b> fog Danny! Who's Danny?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Dan just moved in downstairs. Yeah, he just got back from like this
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four-month trek in the Andes. Nice fella. </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh he's nice. He's nice! Y'know, you always stick up for the people we
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fog!</p>
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<p>[Scene: Their Building, Monica and Rachel are going to apologize to Danny. Rachel
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knocks on his door, which he opens and he has this really bushy beard and long hair.
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Picture Paul Bunyan.]</p>
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<p><b>Danny:</b> Yeah?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi! You might not remember us, but <b>we</b> are the girls that fogged
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you.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> We're-we're really sorry we fogged you.</p>
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<p><b>Danny:</b> Okay. </p>
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<p>(He closes the door. Rachel's not happy with that and knocks again. He opens the door.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi! Just so you know, we-we didn't <b>mean</b> to fog you, we thought
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you were like a yeti or something.</p>
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<p><b>Danny:</b> Okay.</p>
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<p>(He closes the door again. Once again, Rachel knocks (harder this time) and he answers
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it.)</p>
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<p><b>Danny:</b> Yesss?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi! Sorry to bother you, but I don't think <b>we</b> can accept your
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acceptance of our apology, it just doesn't <b>really</b> seem like you mean it.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah.</p>
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<p><b>Danny:</b> <b>O-kay</b>!</p>
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<p>(He closes the door before Rachel can say anything.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Wow! That guy is so rude!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Really! What is with that guy? I mean you'd forgive me if I fogged you.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Well you did a little bit.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh my God, honey, I'm so sorry!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I totally forgive you!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Really?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Yes!</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is making a drink as Phoebe enters with the fur
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coat.]</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> So listen, you know my friend Chris who owns the crematorium? </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Crematorium Chris? Sure!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> He says, that he would cremate my fur coat for free if I umm, y'know,
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bring in the next person I know who dies.</p>
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<p>(Rachel enters from the bathroom and sees the coat.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh my God! Oh my God, look at these pelts!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Don't get too attached, she's having it cremated.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What? Uhh, Phoebe, honey, honey, I know you're quirky and I get a big
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kick out of it, we all do actually, but if you destroy a coat like this that is like a
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crime against nature! Not nature, <b>fashion</b>!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> This is fashion?! (Grabs the coat from Rachel.) Okay, so to you, <b>death</b>
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is fashion?! That's really funny. (She puts the coat on and starts to model it.) Here's
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Phoebe umm, sporting uh, y'know, cutting edge hairy carcass from y'know, the steal traps
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of wintry Russia. I mean, you <b>really</b> thing this looks good? (Sees herself in the
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mirror.) 'Cause I do.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Ross's Apartment, the gang is helping Ross move out by carrying boxes. Chandler
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has picked a particularly large and apparently heavy box, because he takes a running start
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at it and still can't budge it.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (on phone) I know I miss you too. I can't wait to see you. I love you.
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Bye. (Hangs up.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, what is in here? Rocks?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> No-no, this is my collection of fossil samples.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> So, rocks. </p>
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<p>(He picks up a smaller box and carries it to the moving van as Joey returns.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I'm really gonna miss this apartment. Y'know, Ben-Ben took his first steps
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right over there. (Points.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Ohh. Hey, remember when I ran into this thing (The shutters that close off
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the kitchen.) and it kinda knocked me out a little?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I loved this place! To tell you the truth, I wish I didn't have to move.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Uhh, are you saying that you're not entirely happy about this?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, I mean if uh, if Emily gave me a choice<63></p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> You <b>do</b> have a choice!! Ross, why are you listening to her?! Are
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you, are you crazy?!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Why?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> It's not right what Emily wants you to do! She is totally-(The gang enters
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behind Joey and Phoebe pinches him again.)-Owww!! Stop pinching me! Look, now you guys
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said I only had to keep my mouth shut as long as Ross was happy, right? Well he just told
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me that he's not entirely happy.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What's going on?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> We all hate Emily!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Nooo!!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> No, Ross, we do not hate Emily. We-we just, we just think that you're
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having to sacrifice a whole lot to make her happy.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Look, we just think that maybe she's being a little unreasonable.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yes! Yes! Unreasonable!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys
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gets married! You have <b>no</b> idea what it takes to make a marriage work! All right,
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it's about compromise! Do you always like it? No! Do you do it? Yes! Because it's not all
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laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time! It's real
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life, okay? It's what grown-ups do! (He storms out.)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I think he's right. You guys hang out at the coffeehouse way too much.</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are recovering from Ross's
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rebuke.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> God, I feel so guilty about Ross.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, I know.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I kinda feel like it's my fault.</p>
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<p>(Monica and Chandler turn and stare at him.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Kind of? If you just kept this to yourself none of this would've
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happened.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, I'm keeping so many things to myself these days, something was bound
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to slip out! (He glares at Chandler.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, I think it's very brave what you said.</p>
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<p>(Monica pats Joey on the shoulder.)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> All right, I can't sit here anymore. I have to walk places. (She puts on
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her fur coat.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Pheebs, what are you doing with the coat? How about the whole animal
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rights thing?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very
|
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nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, I<>it's the best thing I've ever had
|
||
wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! (She starts to leave but stops and says to
|
||
Monica.) Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Their building's lobby, Danny is checking his mailbox as Rachel enters carrying
|
||
shopping bags and goes to her mailbox. Danny has shaved his beard and cut his hair, Rachel
|
||
doesn't recognize him.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Danny:</b> So you like the short hair better.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What? Yeti<74>I mean Danny?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Danny:</b> I had to cut my hair to get rid of the uh, fogger smell.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh. Listen, I'm so sorry. I would, I would've never fogged you if y'know
|
||
if you hadn't looked so<73>. Y'know.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Danny:</b> Absolutely. Some people are just into appearances.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (shocked) What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Danny:</b> That's cool. Cool. (Starts to leave.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What? Hey! No-no-no! This not cool! You don't even know me!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Danny:</b> Come on, you got the shopping bags and the Sack's catalog. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> So from that you think you've got me all figured out? Well, you don't!
|
||
Y'know I-I could have toys for underprivileged kids in here!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Danny:</b> Do you?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, y'know, if-if kids like to play with Capri pants.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Danny:</b> Okay. (Heads for his apartment.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> And stop saying that! I hate that!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Danny:</b> Okay!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Rachel decides not to give up that easily and follows him to his apartment and bangs
|
||
on the door, which he opens.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Fine! I judged you. I made a snap judgement. But you did it too! And you
|
||
are worse because you are sticking to your stupid snap judgement! You can't even open up
|
||
your mind for a second to see if you're wrong! What does that say about you?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Danny:</b> The pizza-place across the street any good?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Danny:</b> I'm hungry. Wanna get some pizza? You can keep yelling if there's more.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay. Okay.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Danny:</b> Stop saying that. I hate that.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Ross's now empty apartment, he is spackling some holes shut as the gang comes
|
||
to apologize.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Uh, Ross?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Are you still mad at us?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yep.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh good! Because we have an "I'm sorry" song.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Y'know what? I'm really not in the mood.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Look, Ross, I feel really bad. I mean, you're going through all this stuff
|
||
and I just acted like a jerk.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, we are so sorry.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (To Chandler) You're kinda stepping on the song. (She gets ready to play
|
||
but is stopped by<62>)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Look, we were <b>way</b> out of line, we totally support you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Whatever you decide, whatever you do.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, <b>now</b> you're just taking lines right out of the song!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Look, this is hard enough! I really need you guys right now.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yes! Exactly! And that's why<68></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(She starts to play her song, but is stopped by Monica.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Why don't you come over tonight? And I'll make you favorite dinner.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay. Thanks you guys. Pheebs are you wearing fur?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, let's get some perspective people; it's not like I'm wearing a
|
||
seeing-eye dog coat!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, minus Rachel, are getting ready for dinner.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, y'know Ross, I think I kinda understand why I kinda lost it today.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> You do, huh?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah you see umm, well, I'm an actor. Right? So I gotta keep my emotions
|
||
right at the surface y'know? See what I'm saying? I gotta lot of balls in the air. (Makes
|
||
like he's juggling.) Y'know what I mean? It's tough! Guys like me, y'know, you wander
|
||
around, you're alone<6E></p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What are you talking about?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (thinks) I'm not sure.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (entering) Hi!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey, look at you! Where have you been?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, I went to have pizza. With Danny.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> How did that happen?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> That yeti is one smooth talker.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I hope you're not full, 'cause dinner's almost ready.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, y'know I-I think I'm just gonna hang out in my room.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>All:</b> No! Why?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Come on you guys! Listen, if Emily knew I was here having dinner you
|
||
with you she would flip out and you know it. It's okay, I really<6C> I don't mind.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Wait! Wait! Wait! Y'know what? Just stay. Please? It uh<75> It would
|
||
really mean a lot to me if you stayed.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ross, I<></p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> <b>RACHEL PLEASE!!! JUST HAVE DINNER WITH US!!!</b></p><b>
|
||
</b>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay. Okay. Joey, it's okay. Settle down.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right, I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You see Rach I'm an actor<6F></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Time lapse, dinner is now finished and Ross is looking out the window.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey! Hey, look! Ugly Naked Guy's back!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(They all run over to the window.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I haven't seen him in so long!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh God, I really missed that fat bastard!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Pause.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Wow, this is so weird. I just realized this might be the last time we'll
|
||
all be hanging out together.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> It's almost as if he knew.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(The phone rings.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I'll get it. (On phone.) Hello. (Listens.) Hi Emily! (Listens.) Yeah, uh
|
||
you-you tracked him down. Hold on one second. (She hands the phone to Ross.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey! (Listens.) Yeah-yeah, we're just having dinner. (Listens.) Uh, yeah,
|
||
sure uh hold on. (To the gang.) She wants to say hi. (To Emily) Hold on.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Ross puts her on speakerphone.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hi Emily!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hi!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Emily:</b> Hello everyone. So who am I saying hello too?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well uh, I don't know about who's here, but I can tell you for damn sure
|
||
who's not here and that's Rachel!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Emily:</b> (laughs) Well, I should hope not. Ross knows better than that by now.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Rachel waves her hands in disgust and starts to head for her room.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Y'know what? Uh, Rachel is here! (Rachel stops.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Emily:</b> She's there?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh yeah, there-there she is!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, yeah, she's here.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Emily:</b> Ross, take me off speakerphone.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(He does so.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (on phone) Hi.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Emily:</b> How can you do this too me?! I thought I'd made my feelings about Rachel
|
||
perfectly clear!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (going onto the patio) Look Emily, I'm just having dinner with my friends,
|
||
okay?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Emily:</b> You obviously can't keep away from her.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Emily that's ridiculous. Look, I'm-I'm moving for you, I'm cutting friends
|
||
out of my life for you. Please, just get on the plane and come to New York. Okay, you'll
|
||
see you're the only person I want to be with.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Emily:</b> I'll feel better when I'm there, and I can know where you are all the
|
||
time.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, you can't know where I am all the time. Look, this marriage is never
|
||
gonna work if you don't trust me.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Emily:</b> You're right.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> So, can you trust me?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Pause.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Emily:</b> No.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Ross lowers his head.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to the inside of the apartment.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I think it's going okay. Looks like he's smiling.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> How can you tell? You can only see the back of his head!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> You can totally tell! Here look, watch me. (He stands up and turns his
|
||
back to them so that he is facing the window.) Smile! Frown. Smile! Frown. (The camera
|
||
cuts to Ross outside hanging up the phone.) Smile! (Ross turns around and sees Joey
|
||
alternately smiling and frowning and just stares at him for a second and heads back
|
||
inside.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, I guess that's it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>All:</b> Why, what happened?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> What happened? What happened?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> My marriage is over.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>All:</b> What?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, sweetie. Oh, look at you. You're shivering.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Here. (She wraps her coat around his shoulders.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ross, honey, is there anything we can do?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah. You can help me get my furniture back from Gunther.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Ending Credits</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: A curbside newsstand, Phoebe is whistling and walking up to it wearing her fur
|
||
coat. She stops and starts to look through a magazine and notices a squirrel on a nearby
|
||
tree chirping at her.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (to the squirrel) Okay, stop tormenting me! This mink! Okay, they're
|
||
mean! And they hate squirrels! And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be
|
||
coats! (The squirrel stares at her.) All right, fine, now I get it. (To the clerk.) Here.
|
||
(She hands him her coat.) You take it. (To the squirrel.) Are you happy now? I'm cold!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<hr>
|
||
|
||
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|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
</body></html> |