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<!-- saved from url=(0053)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season3/303jam.htm -->
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<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
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<title>The One With the Jam</title>
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<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
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<body bgcolor="white" text="black" link="green" vlink="black" alink="yellow" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
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<h1 align="center">The One With the Jam</h1>
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<hr align="center">
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<i>
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</i><p><i></i>Written by: Wil Calhoun<br>
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Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
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<hr>
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<font size="3">
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<p align="left"><br>
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[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting reading a book and hears the bed in
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Joey's room creaking, and does a 'Oh no, not again' look on his face.]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (from bedroom) WHOAA!!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (going to the bedroom) See Joe, that's why your parents told you not
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to jump on the bed.</p>
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<p align="center"><b>Opening Credits</b></p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey, look at me. I'm making jam, been at it since 4 o'clock this
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morning.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Where'd you get fruit at four in the morning?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Went down to the docks. Bet ya didn't know you could get it wholesale.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I didn't know there were docks.</p>
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<p>[Joey and Chandler enter]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Aww, is it broken?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is
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wearing)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it
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just *fell* out of the socket.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> What is this? Fruit?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Monica's making jam.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Whoa, jam! I love jam! (to Chandler) Hey, how come we never have jam at
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our place?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Because the kids need new shoes.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed
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about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man?
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Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey
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realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> This will just be my batch.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Street, Phoebe is being followed by some guy, as they pass a flower vendor.
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Phoebe turns around and the guy quickly picks up some flowers and continues following
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her.]</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (turns around) Um, that's it. No. Hey! You! J. Crew guy. Yeah. Why have
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you been following me? I mean, all week long everywhere I look there's you.</p>
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<p><b>Guy:</b> You wouldn't return my calls, you sent back my letters....</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Guy:</b> One more chance Ursula, please?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oooh. Oh, well this is awkward. </p>
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<p><b>Guy:</b> Wh..</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously.</p>
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<p><b>Guy:</b> Oh, that's great. I'm stalking the wrong woman. I am such a dingus!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, you're not a dingus.</p>
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<p><b>Guy:</b> I just, I want you to know I didn't used to be like this. Before I meet
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your sister I was like this normal guy who sold beepers and cellular phones.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well, I mean look it's, it's not your fault, you know. I mean this is
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just what, what she does to guys, okay.</p>
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<p><b>Guy:</b> Well thanks. (starts to leave)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in
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Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was
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this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He
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said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying?</p>
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<p><b>Guy:</b> Not really.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice
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guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay.</p>
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<p><b>Guy:</b> Wait. You're right. I know you're right. And, thanks for being so nice.
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Here (gives her the flowers he bought.)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, thanks a lot. Do you want to get a cup of coffee?</p>
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<p><b>Guy:</b> Yeah, okay.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay. (they start to leave, he is still following her) Okay, you don't
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have to walk behind me any more.</p>
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<p><b>Guy:</b> Sorry.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Mon?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Mon?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (reading) 'Gone for more jars. Back later. Monica Geller.'</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Wait a minute, look.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Look, look, look.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What, what, what?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> It's an empty apartment.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oooh.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> We're all alone in an empty apartment.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Honey, come on, I have to be at work in like ten minutes (Ross starts
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kissing her neck) Oh, all right, well it's not like I'm employee of the year or anything.
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(they fall onto the couch)</p>
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<p>(Chandler enters and they both jump up and pretend that Ross is showing her something
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in the couch.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> There it is.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, oh, that's what you're talking about. (to Chandler) Hey.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Do I look fat?</p>
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<p><strong>Ross and </strong><b>Rachel:</b> Noo.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, I accept that. When Janice asked me and I said no, she took that
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to mean that I was calling her a cow. </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, walk us through it, honey, walk us through it.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at
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her....</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's
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just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Nooo!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> And it works both ways.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, so you both just know this stuff?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well you know, after about thirty or forty fights, you kinda catch on.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, for instance. Let's say, Janice is coming back from a trip and she
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gives you two options. Option number 1 she'll take a cab home from the airport. Option 2
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is you can meet her at baggage claim. Which do you do?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> That's easy, baggage claim.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (buzzes) Wrong! Now you're single. It's actually secret option number
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three, you meet her at the gate. That way she knows you love her.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice
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likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to
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go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know,
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accidentally calling her fat or something.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh honey, I'm sorry we can't help you there, 'cause we're cuddlily
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sleepers. (Chandler makes an 'Ewww' face) Okay, I'm late for work.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> All right are you guys gonna come down?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh, yeah, yeah I'll, I'm right behind you.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Good luck Chandler.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Thank you Rachel.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Bye sweetie.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Bye hon.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (blows her a kiss) Okay the sleeping thing. Very tricky business, but
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there is something you can do.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, I thought you guys were cuddlily sleepers.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Noo! No, not cuddlily, not me, just her. I'm like you, I need the room.
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Okay, come here. (they sit on the couch and Ross puts his hands on Chandler's shoulder and
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thigh.) Okay, you're in bed...</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah. (they both notice where his hands are)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I'm gonna use the cushion.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, you're in bed. She's over on your side, cuddling. Now you wait for
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her to drift off, and then you hug her (demonstrates on the cushion) and roll her back
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over to her side of the bed. And then you rollll a-way. Hug for her! Roll for you.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, the old hug and roll.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yep.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, one question.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Shoot.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> You're pretending the pillow's a girl right?</p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is putting jam on his muffin, lots of jam]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Remember when you where a kid and your Mom would drop you off at the
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movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (Looks at him) You're so pretty.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (entering) Hi!</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Hey, Phoebe.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him
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today.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (with food in his mouth) You talked to him. Are you crazy?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his
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name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was
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Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause
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of the restraining order.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Umm, not feeling better 'bout Malcom.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ooh! No, no, no, no, he's not like a kook, no. He's just like this, this
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very passionate, incredibly romantic guy, that got like a tinsy bit carried away, you
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know. And we just get along really well, and he's so cute.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh my God, you've got a crush on your sister's stalker.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you
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know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (with his mouthful) Hey, I didn't stalk her. I mean (he sprays Phoebe with
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crumbs) </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, I asked for the news, not the weather.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (entering) Hey guys.</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Hey Mon.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Joey, this is for you. (gives him a jar of jam) It's blackberry curin.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Aww. (tastes it) Ohh!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, Joe, I gotta ask. The girl from the Xerox place buck naked (holds
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up one hand), or, or a big tub of jam. (holds up the other hand)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Put your hands together.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Joey, take your time with that. That's my last batch.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> No more jam?!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, what happened to your jam plan?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even.
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So, I've got a new plan now. Babies.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, your gonna need much bigger jars.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What are you talking about?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I'm talking about me having a baby.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Are you serious?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah. The great thing about the jam plan was, I was taking control of my
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life. So I asked myself, what is the most important thing to me in the world and that's
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when I came up with the baby plan. </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, aren't you forgetin' something? What, what, what is uh, what is that
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guy's name? Dad!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> It took me 28 years to find one man that I wanna spend my life with, if
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I have to wait another 28 years then, I'll be 56 before I can have a baby, and that's just
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stupid.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> That, that's what's stupid.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I don't need an actual man, just a couple of his best swimmers. And
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there, there are places you can go to get that stuff.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Down at the docks again?</p>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Janice and him are cuddling]</p>
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<p><b>Janice:</b> Night-night Bing-a-ling.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Night-night.....Janice. (he starts thinking to him self)<i> 'Look at
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all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird
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though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes!
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Freedom! (his one arm is still under her) Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay,
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time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat!
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And 1...2...3!'</i> (Pulls his arm out from under her and she is spun off of the bed.)</p>
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<p align="center"><b>Commercial Break</b></p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Malcom is giving Phoebe all of his spy stuff]</p>
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<p><b>Malcom:</b> Here's my binoculars.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, great. Great. You're doing great, you know real strong. Going
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strong. Keep going.</p>
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<p><b>Malcom:</b> These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read
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when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, yeah. What's this? (picks up a book)</p>
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<p><b>Malcom:</b> Oh, this is log I kept, recording her every movement. Do you wanna here
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something from it?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Um, not even a little bit.</p>
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<p><b>Malcom:</b> It's about you.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, okay then.</p>
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<p><b>Malcom:</b> (reading) I met Phoebe today. She was really nice to me eventhough I'm
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such a loser. And, then when I was walking home I thought about her a lot, it was weird,
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but kinda cool.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Good. So what were you thinking?</p>
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<p><b>Malcom:</b> I was thinking what it would be like to kiss you.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Really?</p>
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<p><b>Malcom:</b> No.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh.</p>
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<p><b>Malcom:</b> See that's just something I said now, so that maybe I could kiss you.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, okay. (he kisses her)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating jam straight out of the jar, and Chandler
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is staring at him in amazement. Joey offers him some.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> No, that's all right. I just had a jar of mustard.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (entering from her bedroom) Okay, sperm donor number 03815, come on
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down! Okay, he's 6'2", 170 pounds, and he describes himself as a male Geena Davis.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> You mean there's more than one of us.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Look, you can't do this Mon. All right, if you do this, I'm, I'm gonna,
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I'm, I'm gonna.....</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> You're gonna what?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I'm gonna tell Mom.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Honey, I'm sorry, but he's right. I love you, but you're crazy.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Crazy.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> What?! Why? Why is this crazy? So this isn't the ideal way to
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something....</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (interrupting her) Oh, it's not the ideal way...</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Lips moving, still talking. I mean it may not be ideal, but I'm so
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ready. No, I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you. It makes me ache, you know?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Check it out!! Jam crackers!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy. He's an actor,
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born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. (they all turn
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and look at Joey) Oh my God, under personal comments: 'New York Knicks, rule!'</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, the Knicks rule!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Joey, this is you!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Let me see. (goes over and looks at the form) Oh, right.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> When did you go to a sperm bank?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, right after I did that sex study down at NYU. (to Chandler) Hey,
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Remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> And that's how you bought it?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Noooo, that's what I was wearing when I donated. I'm kinda surprised
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there's any of my boys left.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, honey, it is pretty competitive. I mean I've got an actual rocket
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scientist here.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives'
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on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (entering) Hellooo!</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Hey.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> How's the maniac?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, well he's yummy. We did a little kissin'.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Phoebe, what are you doing?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, no, no, no, no. You know what, he's not into that stuff anymore. He
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quit for me.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Pheebs, this guy has been obsessed with your sister, for God knows how
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long, okay, you don't just give up something like that.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Look, he gave me his night vision goggles and everything.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> You're taking the word of a guy who has night vision goggles?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What, he's not still following her. Do you think he is still following
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her?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Pheebs, wake up and smell the restraining order.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What are you saying I should do?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I think, that if you really like this guy, you should just trust him.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Thank you, Monica.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Orrr, you could follow him and see where he goes.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, that's what I would do, forget mine.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh my God, what happened? (points to the cast on Janice's wrist)</p>
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<p><b>Janice:</b> Oh. God, crazy Chandler. He spun me...off...the...bed!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Wow! Spinning that sounds like fun.</p>
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<p><b>Janice:</b> Oh, (laughs) I wish. No, you know he was just trying Ross's Hug and Roll
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thing. </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (turns around, not amused) Ross's what?</p>
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<p><b>Janice:</b> You know what, where he hugs you and kinda rolls you away and... Oh...
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my....God.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Subway station, Phoebe is following Malcom by finding behind the pillars until
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she comes up to one with a wire mesh garbage can next to it. Malcom stops and starts
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walking the other way and passes Phoebe, who quick tries to hide behind the garbage can.
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But, Malcom sees her.]</p>
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<p><b>Malcom:</b> Phoebe?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yes? Yes! Oh.</p>
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<p><b>Malcom:</b> What are you doing?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, I was just here looking for, um, my um, my part of an old sandwich.
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Oh, here it is! Oh. (picks one up out of the garbage can.)</p>
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<p><b>Malcom:</b> Were you following me?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Um, perhaps. Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just afraid that you
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were still hung up on my sister.</p>
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<p><b>Malcom:</b> So you spied on me. I can't believe you don't trust me. (Ursula walks
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past, and Malcom finds behind the pillar)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh well, what do you know, there goes my identical twin sister. Just
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walkin' along looking like me. What, is this just like a freakish coincidence, or did you
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know she takes this train?</p>
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<p><b>Malcom:</b> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I tried to stop, but I couldn't. I'm so pathetic.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I
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made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause
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your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely
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help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be
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like an Ursula patch.</p>
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<p><b>Malcom:</b> Uh-huh, I don't know.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, just, okay, look I'm going. Um, come on. Op, op, behind the
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pillar, which way am I gonna go? </p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Where you going?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> To the bank.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Sperm or regular?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Sperm.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> So you're really doing this, huh?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh yeah, picked a guy, 37135. </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Sounds nice.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> 'Fraid so. Brown hair, green eyes...</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> No kiddin', hmm. </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> No, I-I figured you would've picked a blond guy.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Really? Why?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I don't know, I just always pictured you ending up with one of those tall,
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|
smart blond guys, name like.... Hoyt.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hoyt?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> It's a name, yeah. I saw you, you know, in this great house with a big
|
|
pool.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Really, is he a swimmer?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> He's got the body for it.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I like that. (Joey starts laughing) What?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> You guys have one of those signs that says: 'We don't swim in your toilet,
|
|
so don't pee in our pool.', you know.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> We do not have one of those signs.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Sure you do, it was a gift from me. Oh! And you have these three great
|
|
kids.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Two girls and a boy?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> And, and, and they wear those little water wings, you know. And they're,
|
|
they're running around on the deck. Then Hoyt wraps this big towel around all three of
|
|
them.</p>
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|
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Sure! (Monica gets very depressed) But hey, you know this way sounds good
|
|
too. </p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh Monica. (goes over and hugs her, then looks at the form and stops
|
|
hugging her.) Wow, this guy's an astronaut. That would've been cool, (sees Monica) for
|
|
like a day. (hugs her again).</p>
|
|
|
|
<p align="center"><b>Closing Credits</b></p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is finishing off the last of the jam]</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Joey:</b> I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of
|
|
Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it (tries to drink the rest of
|
|
the jam out of the jar and gets it all over his face, on his chin, nose, etc.) Maybe if
|
|
they met me in person.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Honey, you got a little thing on your...(points to her whole face)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Joey:</b> (wipes a little jam from the corner of his mouth) Did I get it?</p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering) Hello. </p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hello.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Ross:</b> (sees Joey) Hey. (walks into the living room) Uh, Chan, can I uh, can I
|
|
talk to you for a second?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Sure. What's up?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Ross:</b> Just one uh, one additional relationship thought. Probably something your
|
|
already familiar with, uh, women talk! (smacks Chandler over the head with a magazine)</p>
|
|
</font>
|
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<p align="center"><strong><font size="3">End</font></strong></p>
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</body></html> |