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<div align="center">F!R!I!E!N!D!S </div>
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<p>Series 9 – Episode 9</p>
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<p>The One With Rachel’s Phone Number</p>
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<p>Written by: Mark Kunerth</p>
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<p>Directed by: Ben Weiss</p>
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<p align="center">Transcribed by: Andy Ellis</p>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler’s Office, Tulsa]</p>
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<p>Assistant: This kitty is Mittens, this one is Fitzhugh, and this little guy
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in the cat condo is Jinkys.</p>
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<p>Chandler: Yeah. That’s a lot of cats, Jolene. Single, are ya?</p>
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<p>[Phone rings – Chandler answers]</p>
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<p>Chandler: Chandler Bing.</p>
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<p>Joey: [On phone] Hey. How come you’re answering your own phone? Where’s your
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crazy assistant?</p>
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<p>[Chandler jumps up to turn the speaker phone off by lifting the receiver. The
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Assistant looks shocked, then storms off]</p>
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<p>Chandler: What’s up, Joe?</p>
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<p>[Joey’s apartment. Conversation switches between the two scenes when each
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person speaks]</p>
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<p>Joey: Okay. What have we wanted to always do together?</p>
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<p>Chandler: Braid each other’s hair then ride horseback on the beach?</p>
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<p>Joey: No, no, no. When you get home tomorrow night, you and I are gonna be at
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the Wizards – Knicks game courtside!</p>
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<p>Chandler: Courtside? Oh my god!!</p>
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<p>Joey: Yeah, maybe Michael Jordan will dive for the ball and break my jaw with
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his knee!</p>
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<p>Chandler: That is so cool. I’ll let Monica know.</p>
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<p>[Monica’s apartment. Phone rings]</p>
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<p>Monica: Hello?</p>
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<p>[Chandler’s office, Tulsa – Conversation switches between the two scenes when
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the people are talking]</p>
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<p>Chandler: Joey just called. He’s got courtside Knicks tickets for me and him
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tomorrow night.</p>
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<p>Monica: Really? But tomorrow night’s the only one I get off from the
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restaurant. If you go to the game then we won’t have another night together for
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a week.</p>
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<p>Chandler: But-t it’s courtside! The cheerleaders are gonna be right in …
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[mouths last words so Monica does not hear them]. That’s not the way to convince
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you.</p>
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<p>Monica: Look. I don’t want to be one of those wives that says “You can’t go
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to the game”, “you have to spend time with me”, so, if you just realize it on
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your own?</p>
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<p>Chandler: I…I…I know. You’re right. I wanna see you too. I’ve just got to
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figure out a way to tell Joey. He’s really looking forward to this.</p>
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<p>Monica: [On phone] Tell him you haven’t seen your wife in a long time. [In
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apartment] Tell him that having a long-distance relationship is really
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difficult. Tell him that…what little time that we have is precious.</p>
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<p>Chandler: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ll think of something.</p>
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<p>[Monica hangs up, looking exasperated]</p>
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<p>[Starting credits]</p>
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<p>[Scene: Ross + Rachel’s apartment. Ross is tending to Emma. Rachel walks in
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from back. She comes over to tend to Emma]</p>
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<p>Ross: Wow! You look…er…hm……I mean, it’s just the…er…that, that dress! Er…</p>
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<p>Rachel: I hope the ends of these sentences are good!</p>
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<p>[Ross laughs]</p>
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<p>Ross: No, no…they’re good. It’s just been so long since I’ve seen you like
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this. You clean up good!</p>
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<p>[Ross stares at Rachel]</p>
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<p>Rachel: Ahh. [Looks down] Well, thank you! Ha-ha! [Ross continues to stare at
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Rachel] Okay – stop looking at me like that. The last time that happened
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[pointing towards Ross’s crotch] that happened [pointing at Emma]</p>
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<p>Ross: Oh, right! [Looking away]</p>
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<p>[Awkward silence]</p>
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<p>Ross: So, are you. Ah! Are you excited about your…er…first night away from
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Emma?</p>
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<p>Rachel: Yeah! Phoebe and I are gonna have so much fun! Thank you for watching
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the baby, by the way.</p>
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<p>Ross: Oh, it’s fine. Actually, I…I invited Mike over</p>
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<p>Rachel: Phoebe’s Mike?</p>
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<p>Ross: Yeah.</p>
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<p>Rachel: I didn’t know that you guys hung out.</p>
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<p>Ross: We don’t. But, I thought that it would be nice to get to know him. You
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know? We have a little dinner, drinks, conversation.</p>
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<p>Rachel: Awww. That’s so cute! Ross and Mike’s first date! [Beat] Is that
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going to be awkward? What are you guys gonna talk about?</p>
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<p>Ross: Well, but, you know, we have a lot in common, you know, erm…he plays
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the piano, I played keyboards in college, or, he’s been divorced, I
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have…some…experience in that area</p>
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<p>[Rachel nods her head in agreement. Door knocks]</p>
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<p>Rachel: Yeah?</p>
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<p>[Door opens, Phoebe and Mike enter]</p>
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<p>Phoebe: Hi!</p>
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<p>Ross, Rachel: Hi!</p>
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<p>Phoebe: Ooh. You’re first night out, indeed!</p>
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<p>Rachel: Okay, So now I think Emma is properly down for the night but if you
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need anything Ross…[pointing finger into his chest]</p>
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<p>Ross: Rach, Rach, Rach: we’ll be fine. You go have fun.</p>
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<p>Rachel: Okay. You too. And I hope you score.</p>
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<p>[Rachel picks up her bag and Phoebe and her start to leave]</p>
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<p>Rachel: Bye [to Mike]</p>
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<p>Mike: Bye [Shuts door]</p>
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<p>Ross: So, welcome!</p>
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<p>Mike: I’ve got beer</p>
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<p>Ross: I’ve got bottled breast milk.</p>
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<p>[Beat]</p>
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<p>Mike: Ahhh. Why don’t we start with the beer?</p>
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<p>Ross: Okay</p>
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<p>[Mike puts beer (6-pack of Fosters) on the table and takes his coat off. Ross
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and mike sit on the sofa]</p>
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<p>Ross: So, Phoebe tells me you, er, play the piano?</p>
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<p>Mike: Yeah?</p>
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<p>Ross: You, you know? I used to play the keyboards in college.</p>
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<p>Mike: Yah, do you have one here?</p>
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<p>[Ross swigs his beer]</p>
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<p>Ross: No</p>
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<p>Mike: Okay [nervous laugh]</p>
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<p>[‘Clink’ each other’s bottle of Foster’s together. Each take a swig]</p>
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<p>Mike: Ahhh.</p>
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<p>[Long, awkward silence]</p>
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<p>Ross: Erm, you know, I’m divorced. Er, Phoebe said you’ve been divorced.</p>
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<p>Mike: Yeah. [Beat] I’m sorry. I don’t really like to talk about it.<br>Ross:
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[Lost for words] Yeah, er… that’s okay. We’ll talk about something else.</p>
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<p>[They take another swig of beer]</p>
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<p>Mike: So, you’re a palaeontologist, right?</p>
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<p>Ross: Yeah.</p>
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<p>Mike: My cousin’s a palaeontologist.</p>
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<p>Ross: Ah!</p>
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<p>[Silence]</p>
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<p>Ross: Well, he and I would probably have a lot to talk about.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s apartment. Monica has a bottle of red wine on
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the table, along with two filled glasses. Chandler bursts through the door
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quickly, pulling his suitcase along with him]</p>
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<p>Monica: Hi! [Surprised]</p>
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<p>Chandler: Hey!</p>
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<p>Monica: Welcome home.</p>
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<p>Chandler: Oh, well, look at you!</p>
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<p>[Chandler closes and locks the door]</p>
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<p>Monica: What do you think?</p>
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<p>Chandler: Well, it’s great, well, I’m just wearing the same thing underneath!
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Look at you.</p>
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<p>[Monica and Chandler hug and kiss. Loud bang outside]</p>
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<p>Joey: Ooh. Hey, how come you door’s locked?</p>
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<p>Monica: Just a second.</p>
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<p><br>Chandler: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Joey can’t know that I am
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here.</p>
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<p>Monica: Why not?</p>
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<p>Chandler: Because I didn’t know how to tell him that I couldn’t go to the
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Knicks game, so I just told him that I had to stay in Tulsa.</p>
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<p>Monica: So you lied to him?</p>
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<p>Chandler: Eh, it is always better to lie than to have the complicated
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discussion. [Monica glares at him] Except with you!</p>
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<p>[Rattling of the doorknob]</p>
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<p>Joey: Hey! Open the door! What’s going on?</p>
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<p>[Knock. Monica opens the door slightly. Chandler sneaks behind it]</p>
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<p>Monica: Hi!</p>
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<p>Joey: Why are you dressed like that?</p>
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<p>Monica: [Nervous giggle] Because I, erm, well, Chandler’s gonna be home in a
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couple of days, so I thought that I would just, er, practice the art of
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seduction.</p>
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<p>Joey: I thought I heard a man’s voice before?</p>
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<p>Monica: I was just doing Chandler’s side of the conversation, y’know like
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“Hi”, “How do I look” [In Chandler’s voice] “Really sexy”, “Could I be any more
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turned on?”</p>
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<p>[Chandler slaps Monica on the shoulder. Monica slaps him back. It hurts
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Chandler]</p>
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<p>Joey: Woah, woah, woah. Why are there two glasses of wine out?</p>
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<p>Monica: Because, one of them is for you! [Monica goes to get a glass.
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Chandler looks at Joey through the peep-hole and Chandler ducks. Monica comes
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back to the door with the two glasses of red wine. Gives one to Joey. ‘Clinks’
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the glasses together] Okay, bye, bye!</p>
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<p>[Shuts door]</p>
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<p>Chandler: You know, it’s funny. I’ve been practising the art of seduction as
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well! Hya! [Does a wiggle]</p>
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<p>Monica: You might wanna keep practising.</p>
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<p>Chandler: Yeah. [Chandler’s phone goes off] It’s Joey.</p>
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<p>Monica: What?</p>
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<p>[Chandler presses a button on the phone and puts the phone up to his ear to
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listen. Monica puts her ear by it too.]</p>
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<p>Chandler: Hey, Joe!</p>
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<p>[Joey’s apartment. Scenes change when the different people speak]</p>
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<p>Joey: Dude, come home!</p>
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<p>Chandler: What? Why?</p>
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<p>Joey: Come home!</p>
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<p>Chandler: Look, I can’t. What’s going on?</p>
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<p>Joey: I don’t know how to tell you this, but I think that Monica’s cheating
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on ya! I told you that you shouldn’t have married someone much hotter than you!
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[Chandler looks at Monica. They nod then put their ears back to the phone. Joey
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walks out of his apartment and up to Monica’s door] Right, look. If you can’t
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come home and deal with this, then I'm gonna…</p>
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<p>Chandler: [Loudly] No!</p>
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<p>Joey: I just heard him!</p>
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<p>Chandler: [Quiet] Can you hear him now?</p>
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<p>Joey: No. Right, I’m going in!</p>
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<p>Chandler: [Loudly] No! Wait!</p>
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<p>Joey: I heard him again!</p>
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<p>[Chandler starts to freak out on the spot]</p>
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<p>Chandler: Right. Just stay there. I'm coming home.</p>
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<p>Joey: Great. I’ll see you when you get here. I’m gonna wait out in the hall
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in case the dude comes out.</p>
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<p>Chandler: Is that really necessary?</p>
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<p>Joey: Absolutely. You’d do it for me! Not that you’d ever have to, ‘cos I
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know how to keep my women completely satisfied.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Ross and Rachel’s apartment. Both Ross and Mike are sat on the sofa,
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with Fosters in their hands. Mike is blowing across the top of his bottle]</p>
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<p>Ross: Shouldn’t the pizza be here by now? They said 30 minutes or less. How
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long has it been?</p>
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<p>Mike: [Looks at watch] Eleven minutes. [Still looking at watch] And now
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twelve. [Picks up bottle] Do you like the beer?</p>
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<p>Ross: I do. I do. Although it is actually a lager.</p>
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<p>Mike: Oh. What’s the difference between a beer and a lager?</p>
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<p>Ross: I don’t know. We can look it up.</p>
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<p>Mike: Things are about to get wild!</p>
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<p>[Scene: A bar. Phoebe and Rachel are carrying drinks]</p>
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<p>Phoebe: Oh, god. Do you remember the girls’ nights that we used to have?
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Sitting around, talking about you and Ross?</p>
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<p>Rachel: Oh, god. It seems like forever ago.</p>
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<p>Phoebe: I know.</p>
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<p><br>[Both sit down]</p>
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<p>Phoebe: So what’s going on with you and Ross?</p>
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<p>Rachel: Well, um, I don’t know. I mean, for a long time, nothing. You know,
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actually, right before you picked me up, Ross and I had a little thing.</p>
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<p>Phoebe: Woah! Oh my god! I love things! What happened?</p>
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<p>Rachel: Well, um, first he told me that he liked how I looked, and then, erm,
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we had a little, erm, eye contact.</p>
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<p>Phoebe: Eye contact?</p>
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<p>Rachel: Uh huh.</p>
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<p>Phoebe: I hope you were using protection.</p>
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<p>[A waiter comes over with two drinks on his tray. He places them on the
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table]</p>
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<p>Waiter: Excuse me, um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the
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bar.</p>
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<p>[The waiter leaves. Phoebe and Rachel look to see who it is]</p>
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<p>Phoebe: Should we send them something back? Yes, let’s do! Let’s send them
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mashed potatoes!!</p>
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<p>Rachel: No, wait, don’t do that! It’s gonna make them think that they can
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come over here!</p>
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<p>Phoebe: So, what if they do?</p>
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<p>Rachel: We’re not here to meet guys. You have a boyfriend. I have a…baby and
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a Ross.</p>
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<p>Phoebe: Yeah, but, um, nothing has to happen. Just having fun. You know, not
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everything has to go as far as ‘eye contact’.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s apartment]</p>
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<p>Monica: Chandler, you have to tell Joey that you are not in Tulsa.</p>
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<p>Chandler: Don’t you think it’s better for him to think that you’re cheating
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on me than for him to think that I'm cheating on him? [Silence] I heard it!</p>
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<p>Monica: I don’t want him to think that I'm having an affair.</p>
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<p><br>Chandler: Alright. I’ve got a plan. I’ll go down the fire escape…</p>
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<p>Monica: Yes. Because all good plans start with “I’ll just go down the fire
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escape…”</p>
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<p>Chandler: Hear me out, woman! I’ll go down the fire escape, then I’ll wait
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for a while. Then, when I come back up the stairs, it’ll just be like I got back
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from Tulsa. Then, Joey and I will come in here and see that there is no guy in
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here.</p>
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<p>Monica: Aren’t you afraid that Joey’s going to figure all this out? [Silence]
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I heard it!</p>
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<p>[Chandler goes to the window, opens it, looks out, then comes back in]</p>
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<p>Chandler: Just gonna wait for a little while.</p>
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<p><br>Monica: Scary pigeon’s back?</p>
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<p>Chandler: It’s huge!</p>
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<p>[Scene: Ross and Rachel’s apartment. There is a nearly-empty pizza box on the
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table. Mike and Ross have swapped positions on the couch. Mike still has a
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bottle of Foster’s in his hand. He is making funny noises. Ross looks bored.
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Mike stops making the noise, looks at Ross, looks back at the bottle and
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continues to make the noise. Ross looks exasperated]</p>
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<p>[Scene: Bar. Phoebe and Rachel are talking to the two men that sent the
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drinks over to them]</p>
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<p>Rachel: Oh my god! I can’t believe you live in that building! My grandmother
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lives in that building, Ida Green? No sense of personal space? Kinda smells of
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chicken? Looks like a potato?!?</p>
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<p><br>Bill: Spuds is your grandmother?</p>
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<p>Rachel: Yeah! That’s my muppy!</p>
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<p>Kevin: So, we’re on our way to a couple of parties. Maybe we can get your
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numbers and give you a call when we find something fun.</p>
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<p>Phoebe: Yeah, I’m sorry. We weren’t really looking for anything to happen
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with you guys. I-I have a boyfriend.</p>
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<p>Kevin: Alright. That’s no big deal.</p>
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<p>[Kevin and Bill get up]</p>
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<p>Bill: So, she has a boyfriend. [To Rachel] What is your situation?</p>
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<p>Rachel: Oh, it’s complicated. I don’t actually have a boyfriend, but,
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erm…</p>
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<p>Bill: Can I have your number?</p>
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<p>Rachel: I’m sorry, no.</p>
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<p>Bill: Okay [They start to leave]</p>
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<p>Rachel: Oh, sure!</p>
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<p>[Reaches into her handbag]</p>
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<p>Phoebe: Oh my god! You’re giving your real number!</p>
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<p>Bill: Okay, thanks. I’ll give you a call later tonight.</p>
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<p>Rachel: Great. [Gives thumbs up]</p>
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<p>Bill: Bye [Leaves]</p>
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<p>Rachel, Phoebe: Bye</p>
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<p>Phoebe: Wow. So that's great. You, Bill, Ross and Emma are going to be so
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happy together. What were you thinking?</p>
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<p>Rachel: I don’t know. He was cute and he liked me. It was an impulse.</p>
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<p>Phoebe: But what about Ross? What about your moment? Don’t you want to talk
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to Ross about it?</p>
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<p>Rachel: No, no, ‘cos I know exactly how the conversation is going to go. “Hey
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Ross”, “You know, I think that we had a moment before” [As Ross] “Yeah, um, me
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too” [As herself] “Well, but I’m not sure I really wanna do anything about it!”
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[As Ross] “Yeah, um, me, um, neither.” [As herself] “Ross, should we just
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continue to live together and not really tell each other how we’re really
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feeling?” [As Ross] “Yeah, that works for me, um, um.”</p>
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<p>Phoebe: Yeah, I see what you mean. By the way, nice Ross imitation. But your
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Rachel was not whiney enough.</p>
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<p>Rachel: Hey!</p>
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<p>Phoebe: Better!</p>
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<p>[Phoebe reaches for her drink]</p>
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<p>Rachel: The point is: maybe I should stop waiting around, waiting for moments
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with Ross. I should just move on with my life.</p>
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<p>Phoebe: So, really? Are you moving on from Ross?</p>
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<p>Rachel: Dunno, do I have to decide right now?</p>
|
||
<p>Phoebe: You kinda just did. That guy’s gonna call you tonight. Ross is going
|
||
to pick up the phone. That’s a pretty clear message.</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Oh my god! Ross!! Ross is gonna pick up the phone! Ah, I have to get
|
||
my number back! Oh my god! He’s gone!</p>
|
||
<p>Phoebe: [As Rachel] “Ah, I have to get my number back!”, “Oh my god! He’s
|
||
gone!” Dead on!</p>
|
||
<p>[Scene: Ross and Rachel’s apartment. Ross and Mile look bored out of their
|
||
heads]</p>
|
||
<p>Mike: Passst. I’m gonna take off.</p>
|
||
<p>Ross: So soon?</p>
|
||
<p>Mike: Yeah.</p>
|
||
<p>Ross: Okay. Thanks, er, for the beer.</p>
|
||
<p>Mike: You mean lager.</p>
|
||
<p>Ross: Ah, yeah, good times.</p>
|
||
<p>[Ross opens door. Mike steps out through door. Ross closes door]</p>
|
||
<p>Mike: Ohh. [Relieved to be out of there]</p>
|
||
<p>Ross: Ohh. [Relieved that Mike has gone]</p>
|
||
<p>[Mike’s mobile phone rings]</p>
|
||
<p>Mike: Hello?</p>
|
||
<p>[Bar. Phoebe is on the other end of the phone. Scenes switch with the
|
||
conversation]</p>
|
||
<p>Phoebe: Hey Mike, it’s me. Listen: Is Ross near you?</p>
|
||
<p>Mike: Uh no, I just left.</p>
|
||
<p>Phoebe: Well, you have to go back in.</p>
|
||
<p>Mike: What? Go back? To the land where time stands still?</p>
|
||
<p>Phoebe: I’m so sorry, honey, but, okay. Rachel gave this guy her number, and,
|
||
erm, she does not want Ross to answer the phone, so you have to intercept all of
|
||
his calls.</p>
|
||
<p>Mike: I can’t do that.</p>
|
||
<p>Phoebe: [To Rachel] He says that he can’t do that</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Oh, give me. [Rachel takes the phone of Phoebe] Hi, Mike! Hi, listen,
|
||
I know this is a lot to ask, but you know what. If you do this, ah, Phoebe will
|
||
do anything you want. Seriously, I’m talking dirty stuff.</p>
|
||
<p>Phoebe: Alright, give it here. [Phoebe takes the phone] Hello? I'm sorry
|
||
about her, but, she wasn’t wrong about the dirty stuff.</p>
|
||
<p>Mike: Alright, I’ll do it. [Phoebe sticks her thumb up to Rachel] Really,
|
||
though, how much dirtier can it get?</p>
|
||
<p>Phoebe: Oh, oh, Mike! Bye. [Hangs up]</p>
|
||
<p>[Scene: Ross and Rachel’s apartment. Knock at the door. Ross opens the door.
|
||
Mike is there.]</p>
|
||
<p>Mike: Hey, buddy!</p>
|
||
<p>Ross: Hi!</p>
|
||
<p>Mike: Can I come back in?</p>
|
||
<p>Ross: W-Why? [Blocking route of entry]</p>
|
||
<p>Mike: Well, [negotiating an entrance] I was just thinking of how muck more we
|
||
have to talk about.</p>
|
||
<p>Ross: [Exasperated] But, you left!</p>
|
||
<p>[Scene: Hallway between Monica/Chandler’s apartment and Joey’s apartment.
|
||
Joey is sat on a stool, holding a baseball bat. Chandler runs up the stairs]</p>
|
||
<p>Joey: Wow, that didn’t take long. I thought you said Tulsa was a three-hour
|
||
flight?</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: Well,… you’re forgetting about the time difference.</p>
|
||
<p>[Joey looks puzzled for a second, then smiles and points at Chandler.
|
||
Chandler smiles and points back. Chandler opens the door to his apartment and
|
||
enters. Joey follows.]</p>
|
||
<p>Monica: Huh, Chandler – you’re home!</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: That’s right. Your husband’s home, so now the sex can stop.</p>
|
||
<p>[Monica looks stunned]</p>
|
||
<p>Monica: What are you saying?</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: Joey said that you’re in here with another man!</p>
|
||
<p>Monica: There's no man in here! How dare you accuse me of that? [Slaps
|
||
Chandler]</p>
|
||
<p>Joey: Alright, alright. Then maybe you won’t mind if me and my friend takes a
|
||
look around then. Huh! Where you at?</p>
|
||
<p>[Joey goes into Monica and Chandler’s bedroom. Banging can be heard]</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: What’s he doing?</p>
|
||
<p>Monica: I arranged some pillows on the bed to make it look like a guy!</p>
|
||
<p>[Both laugh. Joey enters]</p>
|
||
<p>Joey: Bedroom’s clear, although you might need some new pillows.</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: Alright, well, I’ll check the guest bedroom.</p>
|
||
<p>[Chandler heads off to guest bedroom. Joey walks up to Monica and starts
|
||
sniffing loudly and heavily]</p>
|
||
<p>Joey: Why do I smell men’s cologne?</p>
|
||
<p><br>[Monica smells Joey]</p>
|
||
<p>Monica: I think that's you.</p>
|
||
<p>[Joey smells himself]</p>
|
||
<p>Joey: Oh yeah, I rubbed a magazine on myself earlier.</p>
|
||
<p>[Chandler re-enters]</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: Nobody here, Joe.</p>
|
||
<p>Joey: I guess not.</p>
|
||
<p>Monica: I can’t believe you thought I was cheating. You owe me an
|
||
apology.</p>
|
||
<p>Joey: You’re right, Monica. I’m so sorry.</p>
|
||
<p>Monica: It’s an honest mistake. It can happen to anybody. Alright, see
|
||
ya.</p>
|
||
<p>[Monica pushes Joey towards the door. Joey sees Chandler’s cases]</p>
|
||
<p>Joey: Wait, wait, wait a minute. If you’ve just got back from Tulsa, how did
|
||
your suitcase beat you here?</p>
|
||
<p>[Chandler looks at Monica]</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: I climb down the fire escape, and you can’t put that in the
|
||
closet?</p>
|
||
<p><br>[Joey looks shocked]</p>
|
||
<p>[Scene: Ross and Rachel’s apartment. Ross and Mike are sat on the sofa. Mike
|
||
is reading out of a book]</p>
|
||
<p>Mike: So, with the exception of the fermentation process, beer and ale are
|
||
basically the same thing. Fascinating, isn’t it?</p>
|
||
<p>Ross: [Looking bored] Maybe you should look up fascinating.</p>
|
||
<p>[Phone rings]</p>
|
||
<p>Mike: I’ll get it [Jumps across Ross and grabs the phone. Ross looks shocked]
|
||
Hello? Ross’ place, Mike speaking. [Passing phone to Ross] It’s for you.</p>
|
||
<p>[Ross takes phone]</p>
|
||
<p>Ross: I don’t understand what just happened here.</p>
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s apartment. As before]</p>
|
||
<p>Joey: What’s going on?</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: I’m sorry. I told you that I was in Tulsa because I wanted to spend
|
||
the night with Monica and I didn’t…didn’t know…didn’t think you’d
|
||
understand.</p>
|
||
<p>Joey: What? You think I’m too dumb to know that a husband needs to be with
|
||
his wife? Uh? You think I’m like, duhhh! [Taps head with baseball bat – it hurts
|
||
him]</p>
|
||
<p>Monica: Joey?</p>
|
||
<p>Joey: Yeah?</p>
|
||
<p>Monica: I don’t know what to say. We shouldn’t have lied to you.</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: I feel so bad. Is there, is there anything I can do to make it up
|
||
to you?</p>
|
||
<p>Joey: You could go to the game with me, even though I know you said you
|
||
couldn’t, but then you lied to me, tricked me and gave me a bump on the
|
||
head.</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: I’m sorry. That’s the one thing I can’t do. I promised that I’d be
|
||
with Monica.</p>
|
||
<p>Joey: [Looking sad] Alright.</p>
|
||
<p>Monica: You can go.</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: [Turning around] What?</p>
|
||
<p>Monica: You should go to the game. It’s okay, I want you to.</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: Really? Are you going to be okay?</p>
|
||
<p>Monica: Yeah, it’ll be fine. Y’know, maybe I’ll stay and practice the art of
|
||
seduction.</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: You’re gonna put sweats on and clean, aren’t ya?</p>
|
||
<p>Monica: That’s gonna be so hot!</p>
|
||
<p>[Monica and Chandler hug]</p>
|
||
<p>Joey: Thanks, here’s ya ticket.</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: Thanks. Listen, I’m never gonna lie to you again.</p>
|
||
<p>Joey: Okay.</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: And I want you to know that no-one thinks that you are stupid.</p>
|
||
<p>Joey: Thanks, man. [They walk down the hall. Chandler looks at his ticket.
|
||
Turns around and heads back to his apartment.] Where ya going?</p>
|
||
<p>Chandler: Game’s tomorrow night, Joe. [Enters apartment]</p>
|
||
<p>[Joey looks at his ticket and makes a ‘whoops’ expression]</p>
|
||
<p>[Scene: Ross and Rachel’s apartment. Rachel and Phoebe enter through the
|
||
door]</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel, Phoebe: Hey!</p>
|
||
<p>Ross, Mike: Hi! [Ross jumps up out of his seat, runs and hugs Rachel. Mike
|
||
walks up to Phoebe]</p>
|
||
<p>Mike: So glad you’re back [Hugs Phoebe]</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: So, what did you guys do?</p>
|
||
<p>Ross: You know, we just drank some beer…Mike played with the boundaries of
|
||
normal social conduct…</p>
|
||
<p><br>Mike: It’s true, I did.</p>
|
||
<p>Phoebe: Well, goodbye!</p>
|
||
<p>Ross, Rachel: Bye!</p>
|
||
<p>Mike: Bye!</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Have fun, Pheebs! See ya guys. [Phoebe and Mike leave]</p>
|
||
<p>Ross: Rachel, lock the door, lock the door, seriously!</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Oh shoot, I forgot to pay Phoebe for the drinks! [Goes outside into
|
||
the hallway] Wait, wait. So, did he call? Did that guy call?</p>
|
||
<p>Mike: No, just his mom.</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Oh, around 8:30?</p>
|
||
<p>Mike: Yeah.</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Then again at 9?</p>
|
||
<p>Mike: Uh huh.</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Yeah…</p>
|
||
<p>[Inside apartment. Phone rings. Ross picks up the phone]</p>
|
||
<p>Ross: Hello? Oh no, she’s not here right now. Can I take a message? Bill from
|
||
the bar? Okay…Bill from the bar. I’ll make sure she gets your number.</p>
|
||
<p>[Ross hangs up the phone. He re-reads the message. Rachel re-enters and goes
|
||
to tend to the baby]</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Ahhh.</p>
|
||
<p>Ross: So, er, so how was it? Have you guys, you guys, had a good time?</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Oh, it’s so much fun. It’s so good to be out.</p>
|
||
<p><br>[Ross picks up the note]</p>
|
||
<p>Ross: Ah, Rach?</p>
|
||
<p>Rachel: Yeah?</p>
|
||
<p>[Ross puts note into his pocket]</p>
|
||
<p>Ross: Never mind.</p>
|
||
<p>[End credits]</p>
|
||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are sat on the sofa. Ross enters]</p>
|
||
<p>Ross: Hey, you guys!</p>
|
||
<p>Phoebe, Mike: Hi!</p>
|
||
<p>[Ross sits down]</p>
|
||
<p>Ross: Ah.</p>
|
||
<p>Phoebe: I’ll be right back. I just have to go to the bathroom.</p>
|
||
<p>[Phoebe gets up and heads for the bathroom]</p>
|
||
<p>[Uneasy silence]</p>
|
||
<p>Mike: Stout. That’s a kind of beer.</p>
|
||
<p>[Ross gets up and leaves]</p>
|
||
<p>[The End]</p>
|
||
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