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<!-- saved from url=(0053)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season4/402cat.htm -->
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<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
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<title>The One With The Cat</title>
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<meta name="GENERATOR" content="Microsoft FrontPage 3.0">
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<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
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<body bgcolor="white" text="black" link="green" vlink="black" alink="yellow" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
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<h1 align="center">The One With The Cat</h1>
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<hr>
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<p>Written by: Jill Condon & Any Toomin<br>
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Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
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<hr>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is eating breakfast as Chandler comes out of his
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bedroom, ripping his coat in the process.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Wow! That ripped! That ripped real nice!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> How many times do I have to tell you! Ya, turn and sliiiide! Y'know, turn
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and slide.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> You don’t turn and slide, you throw it out! I’m tired of
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having to get a tetanus shot every time I get dressed!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Look, we’re not throwing it out! I built this thing with my own
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hands!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> All right, how about we, how ‘bout we sell it.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> All right. But, you’re gonna have to tell them. (He opens the cabinet
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to reveal the chick and the duck living inside with Christmas lights and a disco ball as
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decorations.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (nods his head) Do you mind if we stick you in another cabinet? (to
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Joey) They seem all right with it!</p>
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<p align="center"><b><font size="3">Opening Credits</font></b></p>
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<p><font size="3">[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are there. Monica is
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checking the messages.]</font></p><font size="3">
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<p><b>Chip:</b> (on machine) Hey Monica, it’s Chip.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Yesss!!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Who’s Chip?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Shhh!</p>
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<p><b>Chip:</b> (on machine) Good runnin’ into you at the bank today, so ah,
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here’s my number, 555-9323. Give me a call. Later.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Chip, is Chip Matthews.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> The guy who took Rachel to the prom? Why is he calling you?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> ‘Cause I ran into him at the bank, he is still soo cute.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Monica, you’re so lucky! He’s like the most popular guy in
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school!!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I know!! (calls him) (on phone) Chip? Hi! It’s Monica. (listens)
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‘Kay. (listens) ‘Kay. (listens) Okay. (listens) Okay, good-bye. (hangs up) Oh my
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God, we just had <b>the</b> best conversation!! (goes into her room as Rachel enters)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (to Rachel) I was just leaving.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Good! ‘Cause I’ve got a product report to read, it’s like
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eight pages, I hope I don’t fall asleep.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Why? Did you write it?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (sees Chip’s phone number) Wow! Look at that, Chip Matthews called.
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I wonder what he wants?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Well ah, actually...</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (interrupting) I bet he sensed that I was ready to have sex with another
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guy.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, umm, why don’t you give him a call?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay. (picks up phone) Are you sure you wanna hear this?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, I’m sure.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (on phone) Chip! Hi, it’s Rachel. (listens) Rachel Green. Yeah,
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umm, you left me a message. (listens) Yes you did, my roommate wrote it down. (listens)
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Monica Geller. (listens) Ohh.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (whispering in her ear) Oh, that’s right! He called to ask out
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Monica! That-that’s gotta be embarrassing! </p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (screaming, angrily) ...DUMB, DRUNKEN, BITCH!!! (applause) (happily)
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Thank you, thanks.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (reading the newspaper) Hey, here’s a question; where did you guys
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get the finest oak East of the Mississippi?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Uh-huh, first you tell us where you got the prettiest lace in all the
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land.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I’m reading your ad.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Looks good, uh?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (reading the ad) Stunning entertainment center. Fine, (pause) fine
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Italian craftsmanship. (Joey is very proud of himself)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh my God, you guys are selling the entertainment center?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Why? I love that thing.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> You want it?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe and Rachel:</b> Oh no.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Ahh, Gepeto, $5,000 dollars? Are you insane?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, the ad alone cost 300 bucks!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> All right look, I’m changing it to 50 bucks, or your best offer.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> What kind of profit is that?! And you call yourself an accountant.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (looks at him) Nooo.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh. What do you do?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I can’t believe you don’t know what I do for a living!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, I actually don’t know...</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Good, so do I</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Something to do with numbers?</p>
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<p>[Cut to someone entering Central Perk which lets a cat in. The cat then runs over to
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Phoebe’s guitar case and starts sniffing around.]</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh my God! No! Shoo! Kitty! No! No-no-no! Shoo! Come on, you! (goes over
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and picks up the cat) Come on. Crazy. (looks into the cat’s eyes) Oh my God.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Nothing. Nothing.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> What? What’s wrong?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I just, I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my
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Mother.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> You mean the mom you met in Montauk. She was a cat?!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, no-no, <b>she</b> was a human lady. This is the spirit of my Mom
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Lily, the one who killed herself.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Are you sure she’s in the cat, or have you been taking your
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grandma’s glycoma medicine again?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No Dr. Skeptismo! I’m sure. First of all, okay, there’s the
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feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my
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guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My
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Mother’s favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then
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nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to
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the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an “Oh my God.” gesture) Oh, I
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haven’t seen this smile in 17 years!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (to Chandler) Dude, Phoebe’s mom has got a huge peni...</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (interrupting) Let it go!!</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is working as Monica enters.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Umm, when were you gonna tell me that you’re going out with Chip
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Matthews?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Now? Is it okay if I go out with Chip Matthews?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Nooo! It’s not okay! I can’t believe you would want to after
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what he did to me!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> What, that little thing at the prom?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Monica! I couldn’t find him for two hours! He was having sex with
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Amy Welch!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Come on, that was back in high school! How could that still bother you?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I mean why, of all people would you want to go out with Chip?!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Look, you and I went to different high schools...</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, that doesn’t help me, because we went to the same high
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school.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> You went to one where you were popular, and you got to ride off
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Chip’s motorcycle, and wear his letterman jacket. I went to one where I wore a band
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uniform they had to have specially made.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (shocked) They had to have that specially made?!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> It was a project for one of the Home Ec classes.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (stunned) Oh my God, they told us that was for the mascot!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Back then, I thought that I would never, ever get the chance to go out
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with a Chip Matthews, and now he’s-he’s called me up and asked me out. And the
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fat girl inside of me really wants to go. I-I owe her this. I never let her eat.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, you go out with him. (goes over and hugs her) </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, really?!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah. Just, if it’s possible, could you leave him somewhere and go
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have sex with another guy?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I’ll try.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, they are all there eating breakfast.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> So you guys having any luck getting rid of the entertainment center?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, there were a couple of calls last night, but ah, I don’t think
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any of them are gonna work out.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes, Joey has a very careful screening process. Apparently, not
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everyone is qualified to own wood and nails.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (is struggling with the cat) Stop it! Stop it! She keeps squirming,
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trying to get away! Just like when she was alive.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> So Pheebs, how long is your mom gonna be with us?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well, I’m not sure. I mean, I guess until she y'know, gets used to
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the fact that there’s y'know, a new mom. Y'know, I think she’s worried that
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y'know, she’s gonna, she’s gonna be replaced. (to the cat, in a funny voice)
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Well, that’s not gonna happen is it? Noo. (gets up) Okay, I have to return a call in
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the other room.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Why can’t you use the phone in here?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well, I’m returning a call from a certain mom at the B-E-A-C-H. I
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just spelled the wrong word. (goes into Monica’s room)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> So, guys, am I crazy, or does Phoebe’s mom remind anyone of a <b>cat</b>?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Ross, don’t start.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Come on, you-you can’t tell me you actually believe that-that
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there’s a woman inside that cat!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I believe it.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> No you don’t. </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes, I do.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> No you do—y'know what, you’re not gonna suck me into this.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh sure I am, because you always have to be right.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I do not always have to be—okay, okay. (starts to leave)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> <i>Jurassic Park</i> could happen.</p>
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<p>(Ross wants to say something, but just smiles and leaves.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are showing a couple of guys (Tony and
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Peter) the entertainment center.]</p>
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<p><b>Tony:</b> Wow! That’s ah, that’s pretty nice!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Pretty nice?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> You’ll have to pardon my roommate, he wanted to marry this.</p>
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<p><b>Tony:</b> We don’t have 50 bucks, but would you be willing to trade for it?
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We’ve got a canoe.</p>
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<p>(Joey jumps up in excitement and without turning around Chandler holds out his hand
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stopping him, and ushering him back into his seat. Joey sits down, dejected.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Y'know, I, I really don’t think we need a canoe.</p>
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<p><b>Tony:</b> You gotta take the canoe!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> All right, just, just take the entertainment center, and then when you
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get home, throw the canoe away!</p>
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<p><b>Peter:</b> We’re not throwing it away! I built that canoe! (starts to leave as
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Tony chases after him)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (to Peter) Good for you!!</p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Ross are there.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (entering) You guys, you’re never gonna believe what I just found
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tacked up on a telephone pole! (She’s holding a flyer.) Look kinda familiar?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (taking the flyer) Apparently Phoebe’s mother also goes by the name
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Julio.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> You guys, there’s a little girl in Soho looking for this cat. I
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mean, you know what that means?!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (looking at the flyer) Yeah-eah! 200 dollar reward, split five ways!!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Do we have to tell her?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yes, we have to tell her!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, but it’s made her so happy.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (holds up a hand) Little girl misses her cat. (hold up the other hand)
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Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I have to go have
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dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her.</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> (disappointed) Yeah.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Thank you.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I <b>hate</b> when Ross is right!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> He is right, isn’t he?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Y'know what, I think this might be one of the times he’s wrong.</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> You think?</p>
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</font><p><font size="3"><b>Chandler:</b> Oh-no, he’s right.</font></p>
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<p align="center"><b><font size="3">Commercial Break</font></b></p>
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<p><font size="3">[Scene: Central Perk, the same scene is continued from before the break.
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With Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler sitting on the couch.]</font></p><font size="3">
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (entering, with Julio) Hi. (sits down in the chair)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hi!</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Uh, Pheebs, about your mom...</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (pause) How’s that going?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> So great. Oh, we took a nap today and my Mom fell asleep on my tummy and
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purred.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> That’s so sweet. (pause) I’m gonna get some coffee. (gets up and
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leaves)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (sliding into Joey’s place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe)
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Huh? What’d ya say Joe? I’ll be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)</p>
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<p>(Rachel and Chandler slide into position.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Pheebs...</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I just feel so, uhh.....</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> All right!!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I’m coming already!!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Jeez!</p>
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<p>(They both get up and leave Phoebe alone.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading at the kitchen table as there is a knock
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on the door.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (running from the bathroom to her room, wearing only a towel) Not yet!
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Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! (gets to her room and
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closes the door, as Rachel gets up to answer the door.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hello, Chip.</p>
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<p><b>Chip:</b> Hey, Rach! How ya doin’?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I’m great! I’m great. I’ve got a great job at <i>Bloomingdale’s</i>,
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have wonderful friends, and eventhough I’m not seeing anyone right now, I’ve
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never felt better about myself.</p>
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<p><b>Chip:</b> So ah, Monica ready yet?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> She’ll be out in a second. So, Chip, how’s umm, Amy Welch?</p>
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<p><b>Chip:</b> Amy Welch? Wow! I haven’t seen her since... So, Monica about ready?</p>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is showing off the entertainment center.]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> This is the unit for you my friend. Sturdy construction, tons of storage
|
||
compartments, some big enough to fit a grown man.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Guy:</b> What?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh yeah! I got in there myself once. My roommate bet me five bucks that I
|
||
couldn’t, and then he stuck a board through the handles that locked me in. Yeah. It
|
||
was funny ‘til I started feeling like I was in a coffin.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Guy:</b> No, you, you can’t fit in that thing. That’s not deep enough.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh yeah? (opens up the center and takes out the stereo) If I can’t,
|
||
I’ll knock five bucks off the price off the unit.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Guy:</b> All right, you have yourself a deal. (shakes his hand)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay. (he gets in the unit and closes the door) See?! I told ya! </p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(The guys takes a hockey stick and slips it through the handles then proceeds to take
|
||
the stereo and Chandler’s computer and walk out.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Sometimes I get in here just to get away from it! Hey, a nickel!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: A street, Chip is walking Monica to his motorcycle.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chip:</b> Here, we are.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh my God! You still have the Chipper!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chip:</b> The what?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> That’s what we used to call your ah, your motorcycle in high
|
||
school. Y'know how a motorcycle is a Chopper, and you’re Chip. Nevermind.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chip:</b> No, I think it’s cute. (kisses her)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Wow! A lipper from Chipper.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chip:</b> So you still in touch with anyone from high school?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Umm. Well, there’s Rachel, and umm, I think that’s it. How
|
||
bout you?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chip:</b> Oh yeah, I still hang with Simmons and Zana, y'know. I see Spindler a lot.
|
||
Devane, Kelly, and I run into Goldie from time to time. Steve Brown, Zuchoff, McGwire,
|
||
J.T., Breadsly.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Is that all?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chip:</b> Ehh, y'know after high school, you just kinda lose touch. Oh yeah! I ran
|
||
into Richard Dorfman.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Ohh, how is he?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chip:</b> Not so good, Simmons and I gave him a wedgie.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Isn’t he an architect now?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chip:</b> Yeah, they still wear underwear.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming home. As we walks through the door, and
|
||
without looking up, he goes to throw his keys on the foosball table, only, it’s gone
|
||
and the keys it the floor. He then looks up at an empty apartment; everything is gone
|
||
except for the entertainment center and that ceramic dog. Even the food in the fridge!]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> OH MY GOD!!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (still trapped in the entertainment center) WHAT?!! </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Are you all right?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah...</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (lets him out) What happened?!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (getting out) Awww, man! He promised he wouldn’t take the chairs!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell
|
||
is all of our stuff?!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didn’t
|
||
think big enough to fit a grown man!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> So—You got in <b>voluntarily</b>?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I was tryin’ to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy
|
||
again, do you know what I’m gonna do?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> BEND OVER?!!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Dot’s Spot, Chip and Monica are on there date, eating dinner. Chip is
|
||
telling a story.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chip:</b> ...and then Zana, just let one rip!! (laughs histerically)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Look, not that I enjoy talking about people who I went to high school
|
||
with, ‘cause I do, but umm, maybe we could talk about something else? Like you, I
|
||
don’t even know where you work?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chip:</b> You know where I work!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I do?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chip:</b> The movie theatre, you used to come in all the time.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> You still work at the multiplex?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chip:</b> Oh, like I’d give up that job! Free popcorn and candy, anytime I
|
||
want. I can get you free posters for your room.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Thanks, I’m set. Do you still live with your parents?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chip:</b> Oh yeah, but I can stay out as late as I want.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Monica takes a big swig of her martini.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rachel, Phoebe, and Julio are consoling Joey and
|
||
Chandler.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Wow! They really got you guys. Your T.V. The chairs.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh yeah, your microwave. The stereo.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (looking through a deck of cards) Aww, man, he took the five of spades!!
|
||
Oh, no-no-no, here it is!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (entering) Oh my God! What happened?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, umm, Joey was born, and then 28 years later, I was robbed!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (to Monica) So, how was your date?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, y'know how I always wanted to go out with Chip Matthews in high
|
||
school?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Um-hmm.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, tonight, I actually went out with Chip Matthews in high school.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh honey, I’m sorry.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> No, it’s okay, not only did I get to go out with Chip Matthews, I
|
||
got to dump Chip Matthews.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohh! That’s so great!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I know!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering) Hey! So ah, what did the insurance company say?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, they said uh, “You don’t have insurance here, so stop
|
||
calling us.”</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (seeing Phoebe still with cat) You didn’t tell her?! (They all kinda
|
||
shy away.) Okay, fine! Pheebs?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah? (sees Ross) Hi!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hi! Listen uhh, this cat belongs to a little girl. There are flyers all
|
||
over the place.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I’m sorry, sweetie. (shows her the flyer)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey, we can take her back with you if you want.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ohh. Um-hmm. But y'know, she choose to find me. I mean, I have to
|
||
respect her decision. Right?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel:</b> That’s a good call. Right.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No! No! Look—Hey, enough is enough! Look, I am sorry that you feel
|
||
guilty or whatever about spending time with your new mom, but this is not your old mom.
|
||
This is a cat! Okay, Julio the cat! Not mom! Cat!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (she turns around and puts the cat on the entertainment center) Ross,
|
||
how many parents have you lost?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> None.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, then you don’t know what it feels like when one of them comes
|
||
back. Do you? I believe this is my Mother. Even if I’m wrong, who cares? Just be a
|
||
friend. Okay? Be supportive.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I’m sorry.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I don’t know what to say.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You could.... say you’re sorry to her mom.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I think she would like that.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (goes over to Julio) Come here, here, come here, come here, (pause) Mrs.
|
||
Buffay. Sorry, about what I said, umm, it was, it was insensitive of me to say that you
|
||
were just a cat. When clearly you are also the reincarnated spirit, of my friend’s
|
||
mother.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Thank you. We both forgive you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> So honey, what are you gonna do about the little girl?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, okay, listen, umm, Mom, I hope you know you still mean a lot to
|
||
me. And you’re welcome to come back anytime.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, we’d really appreciate
|
||
it. (Joey nods in agreement)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Come on, Mom, I’ll take you home.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I’ll go with you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Me too. (they all leave)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh! Y'know, I’ve got an extra futon.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Dude, you don’t have to brag! We got nothing here!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><b>Closing Credits</b></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler have trading the entertainment center
|
||
for the canoe. Joey is sitting in the bow, staring off into space as to envision his
|
||
future full of possibilities. Chandler is sitting at the stern, staring into space and is
|
||
looking at an uncertain future.]</p>
|
||
|
||
</font><p align="center"><font size="3"></font><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
|
||
</body></html> |