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<title>The One With The Ride Along</title>
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<body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" link="#008000" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
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<h1 align="center">The One With The Ride Along</h1>
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<hr>
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<p>Written by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan & Seth Kurland<br>
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Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
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<hr>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Joey, and Monica are sitting on the couch as
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Ross is up getting some coffee.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, guys, listen, don't forget that tomorrow is the day that Emily
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gets married again, so whatever we do, just try to really keep Ross's mind off of it.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, yeah, good idea.</p>
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<p>(Ross returns.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey man, what's up?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (sits down at the table) Oh, eh, just thinking about Emily getting married
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tomorrow. (Joey panics.) </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Ooh, Ross, look! Look! (Points behind Ross.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (turning and looking) What? Where?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Right over there! Right there! Look-look-look!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What am I looking at?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (to the rest of the gang) Somebody help me out here!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (entering, with Gary) Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Gary:</b> Hello!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Gary:</b> How are you?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Monica, I'm sorry I didn't come by last night. I was out with Gary; he
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let me ride around with him in his cop car. We saw and prevented crimes.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> You got to go on a ride along?!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Uh-huh!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I want to go on a ride along!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Me too!</p>
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<p><b>Gary:</b> Okay!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, yeah! Me too!</p>
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<p><b>Gary:</b> Really?! You?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah.</p>
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<p><b>Gary:</b> Well, it's kinda dangerous.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, I like danger.</p>
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<p><b>Gary:</b> Okay, you guys free tonight?</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Joey and <b>Ross:</b></b> Yeah!!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Tonight? You-you didn't say it was going to be at nighttime.</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is kneeling at the coffee table and has a bunch of
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pictures laid out in front of her as Rachel enters.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey! Oh, I'm so glad you're home, I thought tonight we could <b>finally</b>
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organize these photos!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohh, thank God! <b>Finally</b>!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, I've broken them down into categories. Okay, we have uh, we got
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holidays, birthdays, candids, y'know<6F> And then what I've done is I've
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cross-referenced them by subject. Right? So if you're looking up, oh let's say birthdays
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and dogs, you get Photo 152. See? (Hands her the photo.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohh, it's me and La Poo! Wow! I miss that dog.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> You can also find him under umm, dog and dead.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Great! Thanks!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> All right, hand me that other box of photos; that's the very last one.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay. </p>
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<p>(She picks up the box and the bottom falls out, spilling all of the pictures onto
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Monica's neat little piles.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oops. Sorry! Well, good thing you number all of them, huh?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I hadn't! Photo 152 was a prototype. </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohhhh. Honey, honey, honey, it's okay, it's okay honey. I'm gonna fix
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you a drink, huh? Maybe a margarita?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Ross has the blender! Ugh, everything's just falling apart!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> No honey, it's okay! Listen, I'll got to Ross's and get the blender, you
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get all the margarita stuff ready.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> All right, he's keys are in the drawer. Y'know what? I also need some
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cash.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, you want me to stop at the ATM?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Nah, while you're at Ross's if you see any lying around<6E></p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> What?! I-I-I don't, I don't do that! </p>
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<p>(Rachel slowly leaves the apartment.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Gary's cop car, Ross is in the front seat with Gary of course. Chandler is in
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the back seat.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (to Gary) That was so cool man, the way you leaned on that guy.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> It is starting to get dark out there.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (to Gary) He told you everything! I mean you totally cracked him!</p>
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<p><b>Gary:</b> Yeah well, being that he was the victim, they're usually pretty talkative.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (laughing) Okay. (Deadpan) But it is officially nighttime.</p>
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<p>(Gary reaches up to grab that little light that cops have for unmarked cop cars.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh hey, Gary, want me to grab the berry for ya?</p>
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<p><b>Gary:</b> It's called the cherry.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> It's the<68>Chandler!!</p>
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<p>(Chandler starts laughing at his joke.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (returning from a deli) Okay, I got it! This place makes the best sandwich
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in the world!</p>
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<p><b>Gary:</b> Hey Joe does it have meatballs on it?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh-ho, yeah!</p>
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<p><b>Gary:</b> Does it have melted cheese and marinara sauce?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yep!</p>
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<p><b>Gary:</b> Yeah, you can't eat that in my car.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (dejected) Yeah okay. (To Chandler) Even though my tax dollars paid for
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this car.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> <b>Your</b> tax dollars?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, okay.</p>
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<p>[Time lapse, they're still on the ride along and Joey is just sniffing his sandwich.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (leans in and takes a sniff of Joey's sandwich) Wow! That sandwich
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really does smell good.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Did I say you could smell it?!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I can't smell your sandwich?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Half the taste is in the smell! You-you're sucking up all the tastiness!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, I'll give them back. (Exhales strongly through his nose and Joey
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just glares at him.) Look! What is so great about that sandwich?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay, imagine the best sex you've ever had.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Are you thinking about Monica?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, what's that like?</p>
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<p>[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is just entering. She takes off her coat and heads for
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the kitchen. As she does, she knocks something off of a bookcase next to the kitchen door
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with her coat and it breaks.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohh please don't be from a real dinosaur! Please! Please! Please!
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Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! (She picks up the 2 pieces and looks at the
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stand.) Made in Mexico! Yes!! Ugh, who would buy this?! (Looks for a place to hide it and
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finds a wall sconce and drops the pieces into it and heads into the kitchen as the phone
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rings.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (on the answering machine) Rach! It's me! Pick up!</p>
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<p>(Rachel runs over and answers the phone with the blender in hand.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey! What's up?!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I need a few more things to make the margaritas. Uhh, I need some salt,
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some margarita mix, and tequila.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> So all we have is ice?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> See if he has ice.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay.</p>
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<p>(She hangs up the phone and starts to head back to the kitchen and notices some money
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lying out, stops, reaches down to pick it up, the phone rings causing her to drop it, she
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quickly puts it back, and heads for the kitchen.)</p>
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<p><b>Emily:</b> (on answering machine) Hello Ross? It's Emily. (Rachel runs back into the
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room with the tequila.) I know this is out of the blue but uh, I'm getting married
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tomorrow. Well, maybe I am. I keep thinking about you and I'm wondering if-if we made a
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mistake giving up so fast. Are you thinking about me? Of course you're not, but if you
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are, call me tonight. Okay, bye.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh. Oh! (Takes a slug of tequila.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: The ride along.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> So where are we going next?</p>
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<p><b>Gary:</b> This witness won't return my calls so we're gonna see if we can surprise
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him coming home.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Sur-surprise him? We're not, we're not gonna make anybody mad are we?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Come on man! (To Gary) Listen so uh, are you gonna squeeze the perps shoes
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a little bit before he lawyers up?</p>
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<p><b>Gary:</b> It's a witness not a perp. And no one talks like that!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, no one talks like that!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh what? Like your Mr. Cop!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, I'm more cop than you two!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> How do you figure that?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hello! I'm in the front seat, okay? I'm Gary's partner!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Y'know, when you say partner it doesn't sound cop. It, it sounds gay.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Umm, jealous! (He drops the cherry and it turns on.)</p>
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<p><b>Gary:</b> Hey, do you mind? We're under cover here.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, no problem. (Tries to turn it off.)</p>
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<p><b>Gary:</b> Ross!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Sorry! Sorry! Oh, (He sticks it under his shirt) there! (It's just there
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flashing through his shirt) Hey Gary, who am I? Phone home!</p>
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<p>(Gary just glares at him.)</p>
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<p>[Time lapse, Ross has been demoted to the back seat with Joey and Chandler. He's not
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too happy about it.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Look at Officer Ross riding back here with the visitors.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, what's up with that Serpico?</p>
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<p>[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is playing Emily's message to Monica.]</p>
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<p><b>Emily:</b> (on answering machine) Are you thinking about me? Of course you're not,
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but if you are, call me tonight. Okay, bye.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (does Rachel's) Nooo!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (does Monica's) I know!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Well thank God you were here! I mean, we have to erase that!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?! We can't do that!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> We have too! I mean what if Ross's hears that and then calls her back
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and then they get back together? Is that what you want? Ross back with that controlling,
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neurotic, crazy Emily? The Emily that wouldn't let him see you?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Noo! Oh no! No! God no! He should not get back together with her. I know
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that! You know that! Even Ross knows that! But that still doesn<73>t give us the right
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to erase his message!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I'm his sister, okay? I love him! I don't want to see him get hurt! Come
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on! Doesn<73>t that give me the right to control him<69>help him?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I don't think he's the one who needs help.</p>
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<p>(They both sit down.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about
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running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what
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she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's
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he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I
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mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine,
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all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same
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people.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ugh!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Y'know what, this is obviously some kind of twisted joke she's trying to
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play on him.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, <b>you </b>are crazy! I'm sorry, but she sounded generally upset!
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I mean, listen! (She hits a button on the machine.)</p>
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<b>
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</b><p><b>Answering Machine:</b> Your messages have been erased.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Noooooooo!</p>
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<p>[Scene: The ride along, they're all waiting outside of the witness's house and still in
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the car in the same places as before.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, y'know, we-we're safe right? I mean nothing bad can <b>go down</b>!</p>
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<p><b>Gary:</b> No. But that reminds me, (handing back a clipboard) sign this.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What is it?</p>
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<p><b>Gary:</b> Oh it's nothing, it just says that you can't sue the city if you scrap
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your knee or y'know, get your head blown off.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (deadpan) Oh, hurry up. I want to sign that.</p>
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<p><b>Gary:</b> Okay, here he comes. What is he doing? What the hell is he doing?!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What? What? What? What is it?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Is everything okay?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> What's going on?</p>
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<p><b>Gary:</b> Okay, he sees us. Now don't move. Don't look at him.</p>
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<p>(They all turn and look away. Suddenly a loud bang sounds out and in slow motion Joey
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slowly throws his body over Ross. Gary is shocked at what he sees while Chandler is
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obviously hurt.)</p>
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<p><b>Gary:</b> Hey, it's okay. It was just a car backfire. (Joey slowly moves off of
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Ross.) Hey, look at that! You tried to save your buddy. You see that? You see what he did?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (To Ross) You okay man?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh-huh. Thank Joey!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Uh, <b>HELLO</b>!!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hi.</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Ross's apartment, Monica has all the supplies she needs and is getting ready to
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leave.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> All right, I guess we should go.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> No, wait. Wait.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh yeah right! (She grabs the money and shoves into her pocket.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> No, Monica! Monica! We have to fix this!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> There's nothing we can do. You erased the message!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah well unless we tell him.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, if you're gonna be totally rational about this, I can't argue with
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you! All right? Fine, if you wanna tell him, tell him. I just don't want to be a part of
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it.</p>
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<p>(The phone rings.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, maybe that's Emily calling back to leave the exact same message.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (on the machine) Hey Ross! It's you! I just want you to remember this
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feeling. You are lucky to be alive! So live everyday to the fullest. Love yourself, okay?
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Okay. Oh, and also get stamps. Bye! (He hangs up.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Wow! Play that message for Emily and this whole problem goes away!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Right?</p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, the guys are returning from the ride along to find Phoebe already
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there.]</p>
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<p><b>Gary:</b> Hey, anybody want to meet a hero?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (excited) John Glenn is here?!</p>
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<p><b>Gary:</b> No, Joey!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Pheebs, we had the most <b>incredible</b> night! Okay, so, we're in the
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car<EFBFBD></p>
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|
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<p><b>Gary:</b> Wait! Hold on! (He goes over to Phoebe and gives her a kiss.) (To Phoebe)
|
||
Hi!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hi!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Gary:</b> (To Ross) Okay, go ahead.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, okay, so we're in the car. Right? And <b>bang</b>! A shot was fired.
|
||
And Joey with no regard for his own safety throws himself on me!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> My God, Joey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (pouting) It was a car backfire!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, but-but <b>he</b> didn't know that!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, I didn't know that.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> And it could've just as easily have been a bullet.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Gary:</b> Hey Joe, you ever think about joining the force? We could use a guy like
|
||
you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Who jumps at loud noises!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Wow! I could've died tonight.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah! If the car that backfired had run over you! Y'know what, I think
|
||
I'll go home before Ross starts rambling about his newfound respect for life. (He gets up
|
||
and starts for the door.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I <b>do</b> have a newfound <b>respect</b> for <b>life</b>.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (returning) Oh my God! (Storms out.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Gary:</b> (To Phoebe) So you wanna get some dinner?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah! Sure! Yep! (Gets up) Oh, y'know what? If I heard a shot right now,
|
||
I'd throw my body on you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Gary:</b> Oh yeah? Well maybe you and I should take a walk through a bad
|
||
neighborhood.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Gary:</b> All right.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Bye!</p>
|
||
<b>
|
||
|
||
</b><p><b>Ross and <b>Joey:</b></b> Bye!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(They leave as Ross stares in awe at Joey.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Cut it out Ross! I hate to have to save your life and kick your ass in the
|
||
same day!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is pacing as Joey enters.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Dude! How come you took off? </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, I just went for a walk, around the living room. Whatever<65></p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Is something wrong?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No. No I'm just tired. Y'know, from-from the walk.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> You dove in front of Ross! Ross!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> That's what this is about! Oh my God, you hate Ross!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I do not hate Ross!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Of course you do! I saved him! You're mad at me! It all adds up! You want
|
||
Ross out of the picture.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What picture?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I don't know, but I don't like what I'm hearing!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Look I'm very glad that you saved Ross from the car backfire, but
|
||
y'know, it could've been a bullet and you y'know, you didn't try to save me!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ohh, you're upset because you think I chose Ross over you! No!
|
||
I<EFBFBD>knew<EFBFBD>you could take care of yourself. Y'know, I mean Ross, he need help. He's
|
||
not street like us!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> When it comes down to it, you would risk your life for Ross before you
|
||
would for me. That's the bottom line.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, no, not exactly! All right, look, I, I wasn't trying to save Ross.
|
||
Okay? My sandwich was next to Ross. All right? I was, I was trying to save my sandwich.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> From a bullet!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I know it doesn't make much sense<73></p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> <b>Much</b> sense?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Look Chandler, it was instinct! Okay? I just went for it!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> So you risked your life, for a sandwich!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I know it sounds crazy, but Chandler this is (Goes and picks up the
|
||
sandwich) the greatest sandwich in the world!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> So you didn't uh, choose Ross before me.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No! I would never do that! You-you're like my brother!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Really?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah! In fact, to prove how much you mean to me, (He unwraps the sandwich
|
||
and holds it out for Chandler) here.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Thanks. (He grabs the sandwich.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No, eh, oh-oi, easy, it's not a hot dog!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Chandler takes a bite.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> How good is that?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (with his mouthful) Oh-oi-ho, yeah!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> See?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hm-hmm. (Goes to take another bite.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh-whoa-hey, dude, what are you doing?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I thought you were showing me how much you mean to me.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah. With a bite! (Takes back the sandwich.) Gee-e-e-eez!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is trying to repair the thing she broke earlier, but
|
||
gets interrupted by hearing Ross at the door. She panics and throws the thing into the
|
||
kitchen. And runs to the couch as Ross enters.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey! Hi!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Rach, what uh, what are you doing here?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey! Y'know what? <b>You</b> are in our apartment all the time! Okay?
|
||
This is, this is just a drop in the bucket mister!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Y'know, it-it doesn't matter. The important thing is that you're here.
|
||
You're my friend, and you're here. Oh! (He goes over and hugs her.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, just a little scared. What's going on Ross?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> The most amazing thing happened tonight. I thought my number was up. I had
|
||
an actual near death experience!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?! What? What happened?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, okay, we were on the ride along with Gary, right? </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> And somebody took a shot at me!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (gasps) Really?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No, a car backfired, but (Rachel suddenly calms down) I thought somebody
|
||
was taking a shot at me. And Rach, I<>I survived! And I was filled with this-this
|
||
great respect for life. Y'know? I-I want to experience every moment. I want to seize every
|
||
opportunity. I-I am seeing everything so-so clearly now.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Because a car backfired?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (stares at her briefly) Okay, why are you here?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, I-I-I don't know how this fits into your whole "seizing"
|
||
thing but um, Emily called you today.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> You talked to her?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No, she left a message. (He starts for the machine.) (Stopping him.) But
|
||
it-it kinda got erased. There's just (Pause) something wrong with your machine.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, okay, what-what did she say?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, uh something about having second thoughts about the wedding and
|
||
did you guys make a mistake breaking up and uh, she wants you to call her.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Wow!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Now, that-that was a good thing that I told you, right?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Huh? Yeah! Yes, of course!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay. Thank you! Thank you! Because<73>I'm sorry, all right. Because
|
||
y'know what? She didn't want me<6D>not important. The point is, I was right. Your
|
||
decision. Okay? I was right. (She starts for the door.) (Stops) Your decision.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Right. I guess, I guess I should call Emily.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, no, that's not the right decision. That's not, that's not right,
|
||
no Ross-Ross, come on! I mean, that woman made you miserable! Okay, Ross, do you <b>really</b>
|
||
want to get back into that?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, look, yesterday I would've even considered calling her back, but my
|
||
ex-wife calls on the same day I have a near death experience. I mean, that-that has got to
|
||
mean something!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ugh, Ross! That was <b>not</b> a near death experience! That was barely
|
||
an experience!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> You weren't there! Okay, maybe this is something that I-I'm supposed to
|
||
seize! Y'know?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, y'know what? Maybe, this is not about seizing stuff. Maybe this is
|
||
about escaping stuff.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Huh.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I mean, look-look today you escaped (Pause) (Not believing it) death,
|
||
y'know? And maybe this is a chance for you to <b>escape</b> getting back together with
|
||
Emily?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> That does make sense. Because I do wanna seize some opportunity, but I-I
|
||
really don't wanna see or talk to her.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, there you go!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah. Maybe today is just, close call day.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (laughing) Close call day.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, thanks Rach. (They hug.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohh, honey no problem. Okay. (Gets up.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh wait-wait-wait! The message is blinking. Maybe you didn't erase it. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Ross hits the playback button.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (on machine) "Hey Ross, it's you!" (Hits the stop button) Oh
|
||
yeah, no that's-that's an old message, nobody needs to hear that.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No. (She heads for the door again.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (looking at the coffee table where his money was) Hey umm, was-was Monica
|
||
here?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, I want my money back.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (going out the door) Yeah, uh you-you probably need that for stamps,
|
||
right?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Ross is stunned.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Ending Credits</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey Pheebs, has Gary ever been shot at for real?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yes. Once. Yeah, a little. He kinda did it to himself. It's not really a
|
||
good story.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I wonder how I would react under fire, y'know? And not backfire but-but
|
||
heavy fire, like I was in a war or something.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Man, I would be great in a war! I mean, I really, I think I would make a
|
||
<b>fantastic</b> military leader. I mean I know I would make General way before any of you
|
||
guys.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Before or after you were shot by your own troops?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I know where Joey would be. He would be down in the foxhole protecting all
|
||
of us.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes, if the foxhole was lined with sandwiches.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, hero sandwiches. (Points at Ross who points back.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well you all know that I'm a pacifist so I'm not interested in war in
|
||
any way. (Gets up) But y'know what? When the revolution comes, I will have to destroy you
|
||
all. (Starts to leave.) (To Joey) Not you Joey.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Joey gets all happy with himself, while the rest of the gang is less than enthused.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<hr>
|
||
|
||
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|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
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