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STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION
"Cost of Living"
#40275-220
Written by
Peter Allan Fields
Directed by
Rick Kolbe
THE WRITING CREDITS MAY NOT BE FINAL AND SHOULD NOT BE USED
FOR PUBLICITY OR ADVERTISING PURPOSES WITHOUT FIRST CHECKING
WITH THE TELEVISION LEGAL DEPARTMENT.
Copyright 1992 Paramount Pictures Corporation. All Rights
Reserved. This script is not for publication or
reproduction. No one is authorized to dispose of same. If
lost or destroyed, please notify the Script Department.
FINAL DRAFT
FEBRUARY 3, 1992
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/3/92 - CAST
STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION
"Cost of Living"
CAST
PICARD LWAXANA TROI
RIKER ALEXANDER
DATA CAMPIO
BEVERLY ERKO
TROI JUGGLER
GEORDI YOUNG MAN
WORF YOUNG WOMAN
POET
TRANSPORTER
OPERATOR Non-Speaking
MR. HOHM
FIRE ARTIST
LEARNERS
Non-Speaking TATTOED FEMALE DANCER
SUPERNUMERARIES
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/3/91 - SETS
STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION
"Cost of Living"
SETS
INTERIORS EXTERIORS
USS ENTERPRISE USS ENTERPRISE
MAIN BRIDGE
OBSERVATION LOUNGE SHIRALEAN VI
VARIOUS CORRIDORS GLADE/MUDBATH
TRANSPORTER ROOM
ENGINEERING
JEFFERIES TUBE
TURBOLIFT
TEN FORWARD
TROI'S OFFICE
TROI'S QUARTERS
LWAXANA'S QUARTERS
WORF'S QUARTERS
HOLODECK ENTRANCE
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/3/92 - PRONUNCIATION
STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION
"Cost of Living"
PRONUNCIATION GUIDE
KOSTOLAIN COST-uh-lane
NITRIUM NYE-tree-um
PELLORIS pel-ORE-us
PETROKIAN peh-TRO-kee-'n
SHIRALEA SHEER-ah-lee
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/03/92 - TEASER 1.
STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION
"Cost of Living"
TEASER
FADE IN:
1 OMITTED
2 INT. BRIDGE
PICARD, RIKER, DATA, and WORF; N.D.s as needed. The
atmosphere on the bridge is tense -- they're in the
middle of a pursuit and racing against a clock. Red
alert is already on.
WORF
Forward tubes armed and ready,
Captain.
PICARD
Fire.
2A EXT. SPACE - THE ENTERPRISE (OPTICAL)
Photon torpedoes burst from the forward tubes.
2B EXT. SPACE - ASTEROID (OPTICAL)
The torpedoes speed toward a huge asteroid which is
streaking toward a nearby planet, and EXPLODE against
it.
3 INT. BRIDGE
WORF
A direct hit, sir.
DATA
The asteroid has shattered.
However, the core is still intact
-- and still on a direct collision
course with Tessen Three.
RIKER
Is it big enough to be a threat?
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/03/92 - TEASER 2.
3 CONTINUED:
DATA
Yes, sir. It is of sufficient
size and density to cause
planetwide damage.
PICARD
Time to impact.
DATA
It will reach the upper
atmosphere in forty-four seconds
and impact with the planet eleven
seconds later.
RIKER
Ready torpedoes.
DATA
Sir, the core is composed of
densely compressed nitrium and
chrondite. It is unlikely that
another photon torpedo will have
any effect on it.
PICARD
Mister Worf, prepare the tractor
beam.
WORF
Yes, Captain.
DATA
Time to impact is thirty seconds.
WORF
Sir, I cannot get a positive lock
with the tractor beam. There is
magnetic field interference
emanating from the core materials.
PICARD
Suggestions?
DATA
If we project a particle beam
through the deflector dish, we
may be able to produce a
disruptive nuclear effect in the
core.
PICARD
Make it so.
4
thru OMITTED
6
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/03/92 - TEASER 3.
6A EXT. SPACE - THE ASTEROID CORE (OPTICAL)
A beam has emitted from the Enterprise into the
asteroid core. It buzzes and hums for a second -- and
then the core bursts apart.
6B INT. BRIDGE
WORF
The target has been destroyed,
sir.
DATA
The largest piece of remaining
debris offers no threat to the
planet.
PICARD
Well done. Ensign, put us back
on course for the Moselina system.
Warp four as soon as we've cleared
the debris field.
7 EXT. SPACE - THE ENTERPRISE & TWINKLING STUFF (OPTICAL)
As the Enterprise flies through the debris, we see a
host of small, Twinkling Bits of the shattered asteroid
make contact with, and adhere to, the ship itself.
Beat, then -- with Twinkling Stuff attached to its hull
-- the Enterprise goes into warp drive, and away.
FADE OUT.
END OF TEASER
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT ONE 4.
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
(NOTE: Episode credits fall over opening scenes.)
8 EXT. SPACE - THE ENTERPRISE (OPTICAL)
at warp speed.
9 INT. TROI'S OFFICE
WORF and his son ALEXANDER sit stiffly -- side by side
but separated by their anger at each other -- venting
it all before a patient TROI.
WORF
My instructions were clear!
ALEXANDER
They were not!
WORF
Before being allowed to play, he
was to put his soiled clothing
in the garment reprocessor.
ALEXANDER
I was not!
TROI
I sense a touch of hostility here,
gentlemen.
WORF
I specifically told you that!
ALEXANDER
You told it to me yesterday; not
today!
TROI
If I may suggest...
WORF
You know very well that the same
rules apply today that...
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/04/92 - ACT ONE 5.
9 CONTINUED:
TROI
Please!
(beat; on their silence)
Why not simply draw up a contract,
which defines the duties of each
family member?
ALEXANDER
You mean he tells me what he wants
and I have to do it.
TROI
No, it means you both agree on
your responsibilities. And when
you've done the things you've
agreed to do, then you've earned
the privilege of doing things you
want to do.
(to Worf)
When he's cleaned his room, for
instance, then maybe he's earned
a visit to the holodeck to fight
his alien monsters.
WORF
You suggest bribery?
TROI
I suggest working out an equitable
system where the rules are spelled
out as clearly as possible. For
the child and the parent. You
must list your responsibilities,
too.
(to Alexander)
What would you like your father
to promise?
ALEXANDER
No yelling.
WORF
(loudly)
I do not yell.
TROI
Then you should have no trouble
with that part.
She looks from one to the other.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/04/92 - ACT ONE 6.
9 CONTINUED: (2)
TROI
Well. Why don't you both go back
to your quarters and talk it over?
Decide on the points each of you
wants in the contract...
WORF
(beat; grumpy)
Very well.
Alexander's answer is a noncommital shrug. Troi
smiles, with:
TROI
One day you'll be glad your father
cared enough about you to insist
on rules. It may seem hard to
imagine right now... but
eventually, most children come
to appreciate their parents.
RIKER'S COM VOICE
Riker to Counselor Troi. Your
mother's just come aboard.
Troi hears this, takes it in... then...
TROI
On the other hand...
LWAXANA'S COM VOICE
Deanna, my dear... it's mother!
10 INT. TRANSPORTER ROOM ONE
A Supernumerary stands alongside LWAXANA and MISTER
HOMN. As she absently gestures Mister Homn to get
a move on with the abundance of luggage he carries,
she twines RIKER'S arm in hers.
LWAXANA
(effervescing; into com)
And I've got such deliciously
exciting news, you're going to
be absolutely thrilled! I'm
getting married!
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT ONE 7.
11 OMITTED
12 INT. TEN-FORWARD
Troi and Lwaxana are seated -- Troi initially
immobilized by her shock.
LWAXANA
(peering around)
You know, with just a bit of
redecorating here and there, this
Ten-Forward room should make a
very nice wedding hall.
TROI
I beg your pardon?
LWAXANA
My dear, where else? Among all
my good friends... in the presence
of my adored daughter...
TROI
Mother, where did you... when did
you meet this man? Who is he?
I mean... marriage. When did all
this happen?
LWAXANA
Ah, my poor plodding little
Deanna, with her questions
questions questions. Wherever
did you inherit such pedestrian
genes? What matters, my sweet,
is that your mother's happy.
TROI
Mother, if you're happy, then I'm
happy for you. I only asked who
this man is, and where you met
him. Those are not unusual
questions.
LWAXANA
He's a wonderful man, my dear;
he has such good breeding, I tell
you, he's absolute perfection.
TROI
Who is he?
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT ONE 7A.
12 CONTINUED:
LWAXANA
He is Campio; third minister to
the Conference Of Judges on the
planet Kostolain. Royalty, my
dear; naturally.
TROI
Naturally. I didn't know you'd
ever been to Kostolain. Or was
he on some diplomatic mission to
Betazed... ?
LWAXANA
Well, neither, actually. I
haven't exactly met him yet,
really. Oh, but the profiles
we've exchanged. They're in such
accord that you'd absolutely weep,
my dear; you'd weep at the harmony
between us.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT ONE 8.
12 CONTINUED: (2)
TROI
Mother. Don't you think you
should at least meet the man
you're going to marry before
committing to spend the rest of
your life with him?
LWAXANA
Deanna, I love you, but you do
make everything sound like an
epitaph.
13 INCLUDING WORF & ALEXANDER
as they ENTER. Heading for Troi's table, they're
locked in animated debate.
ALEXANDER
I don't want to agree!
WORF
You have to agree. That's what
an agreement is.
(to Troi)
Excuse the intrusion, Counselor,
but we are having some difficulty
drawing up our contract.
(nods to Lwaxana)
Mrs. Troi.
ALEXANDER
He isn't fair!
WORF
The boy is unreasonable.
LWAXANA
(liking Alex)
Well of course he's unreasonable;
he's a child.
(chucks Alex under chin)
And such a child. Making little
boys reasonable only gives them
pimples.
TROI
Alexander, this is my mother.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT ONE 9.
13 CONTINUED:
LWAXANA
Alexander! What a wonderful name.
I once knew a tall, handsome
warrior named Alexander who
utterly adored me. We went
everywhere; simply everywhere.
Have you been anywhere yet?
(abruptly; to Troi)
Contract? What contract?
TROI
It's between father and son. A
fair and balanced way of achieving
a mutual sense of order.
LWAXANA
(to Alex)
How ghastly for you.
(to Worf)
And you're doing this to your own
child, Mister Woof?
TROI
Mother!
WORF
It is Worf, Madam.
LWAXANA
Contracts are usually for people
who don't really trust each other.
(to Worf)
A child who is trusted becomes
worthy of that trust.
TROI
Mother, will you kindly stay out
of this?
LWAXANA
(to Worf)
If he doesn't perform his
contractual duties, I assume he
would be chastised?
WORF
He would be... sanctioned, yes.
LWAXANA
But if you fail to perform your
duties, what's the child supposed
to do about it?
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT ONE 10.
13 CONTINUED: (2)
TROI
Mother, will you please!
WORF
I, not perform my duty?!
LWAXANA
Alexander. Life's true gift is
the capacity to enjoy enjoyment.
Now...
She draws Alexander gently toward her; leans to put
herself almost nose-to-nose with the boy -- cupping
his little chin in her hand, as:
LWAXANA (cont'd)
... Have I arrived too late, or...
(grins warmly)
... Can you still smile?
And, still nose-to-nose with the smiling Lwaxana,
Alexander grins from ear to ear. An unmistakable and
very personal one-on-one bonding here. Friendship.
14 INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE TURBOLIFT
Picard and Riker move along the corridor, during:
PICARD
Married? She's getting married?
RIKER
If we hold present course, we'll
rendezvous with her intended groom
in thirty-one hours.
PICARD
I will not continue to have this
ship used by that woman for her
convenience, simply because her
daughter is one of my officers.
RIKER
Apparently, Deanna's being aboard
was only part of the reason.
PICARD
The other part being?
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT ONE 11.
14 CONTINUED:
RIKER
She seems to think that the honor
of giving away the bride should
belong to you.
PICARD
(halts, musing; resumes
walking)
Permission for an on-board wedding
is granted, Number One. Nothing
would please me more than giving
Mrs. Troi away.
15 ANOTHER ANGLE (OPTICAL)
As Picard and Riker recede into b.g. along the
corridor, CAMERA discovers -- along a seam of ceiling
in f.g. -- a moving line of the Twinkling Particles
seen earlier outside the ship. As it moves, the line
drips, like drops of sparkling liquid, through the air
to the flooring, where it forms a sort of glittering
puddle. Beat -- then it disappears downward through
the flooring itself.
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT ONE
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT ONE 12.
ACT TWO
FADE IN:
16 EXT. SPACE - THE ENTERPRISE (OPTICAL)
moving along at warp.
17 INT. TROI'S OFFICE
Alexander sits, alone and disconsolate -- as Lwaxana
ENTERS.
LWAXANA
Ah! My little warrior. And how
are you this morning?
Alex, staring sadly at the floor, just shrugs in
response.
LWAXANA
(gently)
Oh, I see.
And, having dropped her usual off-handed effervescence,
she sits quietly down beside him.
LWAXANA
Being punished for something, are
we?
ALEXANDER
It's just my regular time with
Counselor Troi. She's not here
yet.
LWAXANA
You came early. Well, that's very
responsible of you.
ALEXANDER
No, I just wanted to be out of
my room before...
(shrugs)
LWAXANA
Before what?
(beat)
Now if we're going to be real
friends, we have to share only
the truth.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT TWO 13.
17 CONTINUED:
ALEXANDER
Why?
LWAXANA
Well for one thing, it's easier.
When you tell the truth, you never
have to remember later what you
lied about.
Alex doesn't particularly want to smile -- but he can't
help it.
LWAXANA (cont'd)
But mostly, a true friend is a
person you can always tell the
truth to without worrying about
it.
ALEXANDER
I wanted to leave before my father
got back.
LWAXANA
Ah.
ALEXANDER
I hate him. I wish my mother was
here.
(angrily)
But she died.
She gently hugs Alexander to her, without overwhelming
him.
LWAXANA
And that's not very fair, is it?
ALEXANDER
All he cares about are rules.
I'm supposed to do everything
right all the time.
(wilting; blurts:)
And I don't know how!
He buries his head against her. She hugs him more
firmly; more securely.
LWAXANA
Tell you the truth, little
warrior, neither do I.
(MORE)
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT TWO 14.
17 CONTINUED: (2)
LWAXANA (cont'd)
But I do know one marvelous thing
you can do with rules.
Taking his hand in hers, she rises and heads for the
exit, as:
ALEXANDER
(unsure)
I'm supposed to wait for Counselor
Troi.
LWAXANA
(mischievous Grin)
Exactly.
And they're out of there.
18 INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE HOLODECK
Lwaxana and Alexander are headed for the (o.s.)
holodeck.
LWAXANA
I'll bet you've never been to the
colony of free spirits.
ALEXANDER
What do they do there?
LWAXANA
Whatever they want. Artists,
philosophers, free-thinkers...
She leans and tweaks his nose a little, as:
LWAXANA (cont'd)
... people who don't quite fit
other people's rules. Personally,
I come for the mudbaths. You'll
adore the mudbaths.
(at Holodeck door)
Computer? I'm assuming you have
the Parallax Colony of Shiralea
VI?
COMPUTER VOICE
That program is available.
LWAXANA
Then run it for us, dear.
As Lwaxana leads Alexander through the door, we go to:
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/12/92 - ACT TWO 15.
19 EXT. CENTER OF SHIRALEA VI GLADE (HOLODECK)
(OPTICAL)
as, having entered, Lwaxana and Alexander look off
(o.s.) to see:
19A A LARGE FLOATING SPHERE (OPTICAL)
which descends toward them. Contained in the sphere is
a wild, wonderful alien face...
19B LWAXANA AND ALEXANDER
react as the sphere bounces in front of them... then
SHOOTS back up and out of sight.
ALEXANDER
What was that?
LWAXANA
A Wind Dancer... he stands guard.
Only those whose hearts are
joyous may enter.
Now their attention is caught by something ahead:
20 THEIR POV - FIRE ARTIST (OPTICAL)
Standing by herself in the clearing, a Fire Artist
holds a burning firebrand in her hand. She brings it
up close to her mouth, and, exhaling deeply, uses her
breath (which catches fire) to create a lovely fire
design in the air before it finally disappears.
21 RESUME - LWAXANA & ALEXANDER
Alexander is wide-eyed at the (o.s.) sight.
LWAXANA
Fire sculptor. We'll chat with
her later if you're not wearing
anything flammable.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/12/92 - ACT TWO 16.
22 INCLUDING JUGGLER
as he ENTERS both FRAME and the conversation.
Constantly juggling several multicolored, variously
sized balls.
JUGGLER
A few of us were just gathering
together for our laughing hour.
Would you care to come laugh with
us?
LWAXANA
Actually, we were about to
experience a mudbath.
JUGGLER
Were you! What an idea! My
friends and I will join you.
One can always...
(beat)
... laugh in the bath.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/12/92 - ACT TWO 17.
22 CONTINUED:
ALEXANDER
(re: balls)
Do you ever drop one?
JUGGLER
No, no, no. They are my worlds,
and I protect them. I am a master
of worlds, and they fly only as
I wish.
23 INCLUDING YOUNG MAN & WOMAN
Emerging from behind a structure are a YOUNG, extremely
attractive (humanoid) MAN & WOMAN.
JUGGLER
(to Young Couple)
We're having guests for laughing
hour. Come join us!
YOUNG MAN
We'd love to!
YOUNG WOMAN
No, thank you.
YOUNG MAN
(pleasantly)
Yes.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/05/92 - ACT TWO 18.
23 CONTINUED:
YOUNG WOMAN
(pleasantly)
No.
YOUNG MAN
Why do you always say "no" when
I say "yes"?
YOUNG WOMAN
I don't.
YOUNG MAN
You just did.
YOUNG WOMAN
There you go again. You are the
most negative person!
They will continue arguing (o.s.), as:
ALEXANDER
Why are they arguing like that?
JUGGLER
They're friends. They love
contradiction... they thrive on
challenge... they flourish in
conflict...
ALEXANDER
Then why are they friends?
LWAXANA
Who else can you fight with if
not your friends?
24 INCLUDING POET
A tall, white-bearded old POET, in white toga, suddenly
appears before them, with hand raised -- like Moses
-- to block their way.
POET
Hold! What is the lesson for
today!?
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT TWO 18A.
24 CONTINUED:
LWAXANA
Damned if we know. We're just
here for some fun and a mudbath.
POET
Every moment requires a purpose.
LWAXANA
(nicely)
No, it doesn't.
POET
Every purpose requires a plan.
JUGGLER
He does this every day; usually
while everybody's food gets cold.
Rather boring.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT TWO 19.
24 CONTINUED: (2)
POET
(pronounces)
The higher... the fewer!
Nobody knows what the hell that means. They all regard
each other quizzically. Finally:
LWAXANA
Well, that's a
conversation-stopper if I ever
heard one.
25 FAVORING ALEXANDER
Beat -- then he rushes back to the locale of the
still-arguing Young Man and Woman, and:
ALEXANDER
Excuse me!
The Young Man and Woman Pause in their verbal duel to
regard Alex.
ALEXANDER
If you're going to argue, you
should remember...
(pronounces)
The higher, the fewer!
HOLD for a LONG BEAT on the Young Man & Woman -- as
they just stand there; trying to fathom that. The
fight's ceased. As Alex runs off again, we
26 RESUME - GROUP
Lwaxana is delighted with Alexander; welcomes him with
a hug.
LWAXANA
So, my little warrior wants to
see more in life than just
fighting. Ah, the mind opens,
and in creeps wisdom.
(takes Alex's hand)
Onward, to the laughing!
27 INT. WORF'S QUARTERS
Worf is tidying up after Alex, as his door CHIMES.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT TWO 20.
27 CONTINUED:
WORF
Come.
Troi ENTERS. Worf looks surprised.
WORF (cont'd)
Isn't Alexander supposed to be
with you?
TROI
(now concerned)
He didn't show up for his
appointment, so I assumed he must
still be here.
WORF
Computer. What is the location
of Alexander Rozhenko?
COMPUTER VOICE
Alexander Rozhenko is in holodeck
two.
TROI
Is he there alone?
COMPUTER VOICE
He is with Lwaxana Troi.
Troi and Worf exchange looks for a very dubious beat
-- then, without a word, move quickly to EXIT.
28 EXT. EDGE OF SHIRALEAN VI GLADE - DAY (HOLODECK)
At a site fronting one of the tents, Lwaxana, Alex,
the JUGGLER, the Young Man & Woman -- even the old Poet
-- sit side by side in a long, trench-like rectangular
mudbath. Up to their shoulders. The Helper is pouring
a final (small) tub of mud into the bath. Only the
two green-smocked Learners remain seated out of the
mudbath, opposite its occupants; studying and
listening.
At the moment, all bathers hold high a form of (edible)
cup, containing some liquid, in a general toast:
POET
To all the creatures within us!
All drink to that toast -- then begin munching happily
on the now empty cups.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/04/92 - ACT TWO 21.
29 CLOSER ON LWAXANA & ALEXANDER
ALEXANDER
(puzzled)
All the creatures within us?
LWAXANA
Of course. Every one of us has
a thousand different kinds of tiny
people inside us. Some of them
want to get out and be wild; some
want to be sad, or happy, or
inventive or even go dancing.
That's why we have different urges
at different times.
JUGGLER
Are we ready for the
entertainment?!
ALL IN GROUP
Ready! Yes! Absolutely!
LWAXANA
(still to Alex)
And all those different little
people inside us? We must never
be afraid to take them with us
wherever we go. Who knows when
we might need one of them to pop
up and rescue us from ourselves.
Variety, my little Alex. The
great secret is not the variety
of life; but the variety of us!
30 EXT. CENTER OF SHIRALEAN VI GLADE - DAY (HOLODECK)
(OPTICAL)
as Troi and Worf arrive; look around. Suddenly, the
Wind Dancer descends toward them -- a menacing look
on his face. The ball dances in front of Worf,
blocking him from moving forward. Frustrated, Worf
SWATS him aside -- and the Wind Dancer pops! Worf and
Troi exchange a surprised look and move forward.
MUSIC as well (a one instrument tune, the rhythm of
which is not unlike that which would accompany a 20th-
century bellydance). Troi and Worf begin Walking
toward the (o.s.) sounds.
31 EXT. EDGE OF SHIRALEAN VI GLADE - DAY (HOLODECK)
A great-looking Tattooed Female Dancer is entertaining
our group (including Alexander, of course, whose joyous
receptiveness is in concert with that of everyone
else).
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT TWO 22.
32 REACTION - TROI & WORF
They just gape -- in total stunhood.
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT TWO
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT THREE 23.
ACT THREE
FADE IN:
33 INT. TROI'S QUARTERS
A slightly rigid Troi confronts a thoroughly relaxed
Lwaxana.
TROI
Mother, I'm trying to help this
boy learn the value of
responsibility. You're not
helping by giving him a lot of
mixed messages.
LWAXANA
I exposed you to all sorts of
mixed messages at that age, and
you still turned out deadly dull;
what're you so worried about?
TROI
Among other things, his
relationship with his father.
No more holodeck, Mother. Please.
(Beat)
And why aren't you all absorbed
in your wedding plans? It's only
three days away.
LWAXANA
Oh, I'm letting Mister Homn take
care of all the mundane details.
He knows my tastes.
TROI
(dubious)
Mother...
LWAXANA
There's really nothing to do, you
nosey little girl. Campio's
already sent me his mother's
wedding gown, which Mister Homn
is now altering for me. Outside
of that...
TROI
Wedding gown? Mother. Stop.
Are you telling me you're not
going to be naked at your own
wedding?
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT THREE 24.
33 CONTINUED:
LWAXANA
Campio is from a different planet
with different traditions. He
wouldn't approve of a traditional
Betazoid wedding, so I'm adapting;
simple as that.
(moves to replicator)
Care for some nice jestral tea,
dear?
TROI
I can't believe I'm hearing this
from the Heir to the Holy Rings
of Betazed; Holder of the Sacred
Chalice of Rixx.
LWAXANA
Computer... jestral tea, please.
TROI
I think it's time you tell me
about this mysterious marriage
to a man you've never met.
LWAXANA
Why shouldn't I get married if
I choose to? You make it all into
such a mystery. There is no
mystery, Deanna.
34 ANGLE INCLUDING REPLICATOR (OPTICAL)
As she's speaking -- and to her sudden great perplexion
-- she finds herself facing a very long, fat
sausage-like food which MATERIALIZES for her in the
replicator and sits in the tea cup.
LWAXANA (cont'd)
(beat)
... except about this Petrokian
sausage. All I wanted was a cup
of tea. Dear, I think your
replicator's having some sort of
nervous collapse.
35 INT. ENGINEERING
Geordi and Data are running a diagnostic at their
respective consoles:
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/11/92 - ACT THREE 25.
35 CONTINUED:
DATA
A Level Four diagnostic of the
food replication system has failed
to detect any faults in the
orientation terminals.
GEORDI
That may be... but we've still
got almost two hundred reports of
replicators malfunctioning.
Data REACTS to a BEEP from the console, with:
DATA
There is an energy fluctuation
in one of the utility access
corridors.
GEORDI
(rising)
Well, we'd better look into
whatever it is before the captain
decides to order dinner.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT THREE 26.
36 INT. JEFFERIES TUBE
Geordi and Data crawl toward us to a panel in immediate
f.g. Geordi carries his tool kit; both have tricorders
at the ready.
GEORDI
Dash four three; here we are.
Geordi scans around with his tricorder; homes in on
the small panel, with:
GEORDI
(continuing)
Some kind of intermittent E-M
field pattern. Give me a hand
here, will you, Data?
Together, they remove the panel. Geordi picks up his
tricorder; scans.
GEORDI
(continuing)
No plasma leakage... just a little
negative ion charging.
Just as Geordi is about to put his hand up into the
space previously covered by the panel, viscous little
drops of orange substance DRIP from within the space
to the flooring right in front of Geordi's nose.
37 INT. LWAXANA'S QUARTERS (OPTICAL)
Lwaxana, wearing a not-unflattering wedding dress,
stands before a mirror as MISTER HOMN finishes
tailoring it on her. Homm wears a large pin cushion
around his forearm, and carries pins in his mouth.
LWAXANA
Bad enough having to wear anything
at my own wedding. But this.
Maybe if we lower the bodice...
Mister Homn shakes his head.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/04/92 - ACT THREE 27.
37 CONTINUED:
LWAXANA (cont'd)
... Raise the hemline, then.
Mister Homn shakes his head.
LWAXANA (cont'd)
What a constant joy you are.
The door CHIMES. She nods to Mister Homn, prompting
him to the door.
38 INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE LWAXANA'S QUARTERS - CLOSE
(OPTICAL)
on the back of Alexander's head, as he faces the door.
It opens -- to reveal Mister Homn's lower extremities
at Alex's eye level. As Alexander looks slowly upward
along Mister Homn's body, CAMERA FOLLOWS HIS GAZE --
until Alex, and we, are looking far up at the looming
face of Mister Homn.
REACTION - ALEXANDER
Wide-eyed and open-mouthed at the (o.s.) living
apparition before him.
40 INT. LWAXANA'S QUARTERS (CONTINUOUS)
as Lwaxana sees Alexander at the door; brightens; waves
him toward her, during:
LWAXANA
My little warrior; come in, come
in and give me a hug.
Alexander complies (hesitating only initially as he
has to pass the overwhelming Mister Homn on the way
in).
LWAXANA (cont'd)
You're not escaping another
appointment, are you?
ALEXANDER
No, Ma'am.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/03/92 - ACT THREE 28.
40 CONTINUED:
LWAXANA
(more to herself)
No... I suppose eventually we all
have to live up to our
obligations...
(cheerful again)
Now tell me; what brings you here
to brighten my day?
ALEXANDER
I wanted to say I'm sorry if I
got you in trouble.
LWAXANA
That's very sweet, dear. But I
really wasn't in any trouble...
until I saw this dress. Come sit
down.
(re: dress)
Ugly, isn't it?
ALEXANDER
What's it for?
LWAXANA
I'm getting married.
ALEXANDER
Why?
LWAXANA
Are you sure my daughter didn't
send you?
(quickly)
That's only a little joke.
She now dismisses Mister Homn with a gesture which
sends him dutifully into the (o.s.) adjoining room.
LWAXANA (cont'd)
People get married because they
want to spend their lives with
someone.
ALEXANDER
Their whole life? I guess you'd
really have to like them a lot.
LWAXANA
If you're young... and lucky...
it'll be someone you like a lot,
yes.
(MORE)
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT THREE 29.
40 CONTINUED: (2)
LWAXANA (cont'd)
When you're older...
(voice trails off;
shrugs)
ALEXANDER
Are you very old?
Initially, and for just an instant, Lwaxana shoots the
kid a look -- but then softens again, even more than
she has before. And now, she'll be staring ahead at
nothing but her own thoughts, as:
LWAXANA
I'm alone, Alex. And when you
do get older... when you can no
longer pick and choose from
whatever may come your way...
Well, then you do what we call
"compromise". It keeps you from
being afraid.
41 INT. MAIN BRIDGE - AFT SCIENCE STATION
As Geordi and Data report to Picard, Riker is in his
command chair; Worf at tactical; and an ENSIGN at the
conn.
DATA
We have traced the failure to
a data net interface which routes
replicator selections to the
correct subprocessors.
GEORDI
When we opened the panel, we found
that the interface had been
transformed... into a gelatinous
material that we haven't been able
to identify.
Suddenly, the bridge now begins to shudder. Red alert
goes on automatically; Geordi turns to his console and
Data heads for ops. All present brace themselves to
retain their balance.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/03/92 - ACT THREE 30-31.
41 CONTINUED:
WORF
We have intermittent failure of
the inertial damping system.
PICARD
Take us out of warp, Ensign.
RIKER
Primary attitude control has
failed; we've gone to secondary
systems.
The bridge begins SHAKING SLIGHTLY.
DATA
We have lost helm control.
The bridge SHAKES more VIOLENTLY, as we:
42 OMITTED
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT THREE
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/04/92 - ACT FOUR 32A-B.
46 EXT. SPACE - THE ENTERPRISE (OPTICAL)
On impulse power.
47 INT. OBSERVATION LOUNGE
Geordi and Data face Picard and Riker. On the table
before them rests a covered petri dish in which is a
glob of the orange goo seen earlier.
GEORDI
The same thing that happened to
the replicator happened to the
stabilizer. The transfers in both
systems were turned into...
(re: petri dish)
...this.
RIKER
Some kind of corrosion?
DATA
We have not yet identified the
substance, Commander.
GEORDI
Whatever it is, it looks like
there's been a conversion process
-- transforming some of the metal
into gelatinous residue. But what
caused it is a mystery.
PICARD
The stabilizers and the
replicators. Two totally
unrelated systems...
GEORDI
Yessir, and we still don't know
why the sensors didn't catch the
problems.
RIKER
Why don't you run a mass
spectrometer analysis -- find out
just what this stuff is.
TRANSPORTER OFFICER'S COM VOICE
Transporter room one to Captain
Picard. Minister Campio is
beaming on board, sir.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT FOUR 33.
47 CONTINUED: (2)
PICARD
I'll be right there.
(to Geordi and Data)
The bridegroom.
48 EXT. SPACE - THE ENTERPRISE & KOSTOLAIN VESSEL
(OPTICAL)
A relatively small vessel, from Kostolain, stands
adjacent to the Enterprise.
49 INT. TRANSPORTER ROOM ONE (OPTICAL)
Troi and Lwaxana wait as a Transporter Operator,
standing alongside his panel, causes CAMPIO and his
entourage of one, ERKO, to MATERIALIZE. Campio is a
fine-looking, mid-50's humanoid -- patrician in posture
and manner; eminently gracious. Erko is an older,
pompous-appearing stiff.
LWAXANA
Ah! Campio!
Lwaxana moves forward with both hands extended.
Campio, ever-polite, will step to meet her -- take her
hands in his, and regard her with most gracious and
complimentary admiration. Erko remains right where
he first appeared. Throughout the above:
LWAXANA (cont'd)
My dear, your compatibility
profile didn't do you justice. I,
of course, am Lwaxana, and any
introductory compliments you'd
care to make will be happily
received.
CAMPIO
Indeed, Mrs. Troi... you are even
lovelier in person.
Neither tastelessly, nor in an overbearing manner --
but merely in bright spirit and to be warmly welcoming
-- Lwaxana leans to kiss him on the cheek, with:
LWAXANA
That one sounded just fine.
While "casually" slipping his own hands out of hers,
Campio AVOIDS the kiss, with:
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/04/92 - ACT FOUR 34.
49 CONTINUED:
CAMPIO
(polite smile)
Now, now... we don't wish to be
too familiar at this early
juncture.
50 INCLUDING PICARD
as, moving briskly, he ENTERS.
PICARD
Please excuse my tardiness; ship's
duties. Minister Campio? I'm
Jean-Luc Picard, Captain of the
Enterprise. Welcome aboard, sir.
Picard extends his hand, but Campio -- still smiling
pleasantly and certainly not being a prig on purpose
-- ignores the outstretched hand and bows deeply and
with deference before Picard.
CAMPIO
I thank you, Captain, and greet
you with appreciation for
permitting this wedding aboard
your fine vessel.
PICARD
Not at all, sir.
LWAXANA
Campio, may I present my daughter?
Deanna Troi, meet, uh... well,
your future stepfather, come to
think of it.
CAMPIO
Ah, yes.
(formal bow)
If I recall the profile, you are
the ship's counselor.
TROI
(matches his bow)
I am, sir.
CAMPIO
(re: Erko)
And my escort, who need not be
addressed in this company:
Protocol Master, Erko.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT FOUR 35.
50 CONTINUED:
LWAXANA
Protocol master?
PICARD
He is nonetheless welcome.
LWAXANA
Campio, dear, personally I adore
every ounce of ostentation I can
get, but... a protocol master?
CAMPIO
I would not do you nor our
benevolent hosts the disservice
of failing to ensure that
priorities are observed.
LWAXANA
Oh, well that's... very
thoughtful.
CAMPIO
After all, it would be
unpardonable to simply abandon
ourselves to the moment, would
it not?
LWAXANA
(shellshocked)
Unpardonable.
51 PICARD AND TROI
They exchange a quick, almost involuntary glance of
mutual apprehension at this mismatch-in-the-making.
52 OMITTED
53 INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE TRANSPORTER ROOM (CONTINUOUS)
Excepting the Transporter Room Officer, the group
emerges into the corridor, as:
LWAXANA
Of course, it was my thinking that
we might just get acquainted a
bit. I could show you around and
we could... develop a feel for each
other, so to speak.
(to Picard)
Jean-Luc?
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT FOUR 36.
53 CONTINUED:
PICARD
Of course. The ship is yours.
CAMPIO
How very thoughtful of you. But
I must remain in the company of
Master Erko until the wedding
ceremony itself.
LWAXANA
(halts for beat)
You're joking.
CAMPIO
Is there some objection?
LWAXANA
(deferential; real
surrender)
No, of course not. But please
try to bear with me until I have
a little better grasp of your
rules, and...
(glance at Erko)
...protocols.
53A REACTION - TROI
Confused surprise at this suddenly different Lwaxana.
53B RESUME SHOT
CAMPIO
Certainly. Our culture is so
totally new to you. I assure you
of my utmost patience. And any
tutoring you may desire about our
customs, in addition to those
regarding the wedding
procedures...
RIKER'S COM VOICE
Captain Picard to the bridge,
please.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT FOUR 36A.
53B CONTINUED:
PICARD
(to com)
On my way.
(to all)
Excuse me.
(to Troi; not without
humor)
Counselor, I'll trust you to keep
everything running smoothly.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/03/92 - ACT FOUR 37.
53B CONTINUED: (2)
TROI
Thank you, Captain.
And Picard turns to head off in another direction.
54 OMITTED
55 INT. MAIN BRIDGE - SCIENCE STATION
as Geordi and Data work at the consoles, keying
controls, scrolling data, etc.
GEORDI
It looks like the only alloy
common to the stabilizer and the
replicator is nitrium.
(to computer)
Computer, analyze the nitrium
content of the affected stabilizer
and replicator.
COMPUTER VOICE
There is no nitrium present in
the affected stabilizer or
replicator.
Reactions. Data scrolls the computer.
DATA
There is none present in the
residue, either.
Geordi keys more instructions, and the monitor scrolls
further.
GEORDI
According to the mass spectrometer,
the elements in the residue have
been broken down into simpler
molecular structures...
DATA
That would suggest the nitrium
has been organically metabolized.
Geordi sits back in his seat, musing on this.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/03/92 - ACT FOUR 37A.
55 CONTINUED:
GEORDI
Maybe that's it, Data... if a
living organism ingested the
nitrium...
DATA
This residue could be the waste
left behind.
Geordi reflects on the implications.
GEORDI
If that's true, if something's
eating away at the nitrium on the
ship...
(beat; uncomfortable)
That means the dilithium chamber
is vulnerable... and the power
transfer conduits. We'd better
get down to engineering.
They get up and EXIT to the turbolift...
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT FOUR 38.
56 INT. WORF'S QUARTERS
As Worf brings food for Alexander and himself, the boy
is doing a breathing exercise: Holding his hands
against the sides of his diaphragm, he first inhales
deeply -- holds it for a beat -- then exhales with a
loud and happy-faced blurt of:
ALEXANDER
Ha!
WORF
Eat well, son.
ALEXANDER
Ha!
WORF
What are you doing? What is that
noise?
ALEXANDER
Ha! It's my laughing hour. Ha!
Ha!
WORF
That is enough, please. It is
your eating hour. Eat.
ALEXANDER
(shakes head)
Ha! I promised to meet Mrs. Troi
for another lesson in happy
wisdom. Ha!
WORF
Will you stop doing that, please.
Alexander, eat your food. Wisdom
will wait, I assure you.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT FOUR 39.
56 CONTINUED:
ALEXANDER
But I promised. Ha! Should I
break my promise, Father?
WORF
No Klingon ever breaks his word.
Alexander rises and moves toward the door, as:
WORF
Where are you going?
ALEXANDER
You said no Klingon breaks his
word.
WORF
I did not mean now. Now you will
sit down and eat.
ALEXANDER
I don't understand. You're
confusing me.
WORF
(losing it)
Understand later. Now, just eat!
Seeing Worf's overflowing frustration, Alexander's face
in no way reflects any kind of defiance -- but only a
gentle concern for his father's agitation -- which he
will attempt to soothe, with:
ALEXANDER
Father... ? The higher, the fewer.
As Alex turns again, and EXITS, Worf's mouth works,
but -- since he hasn't the slightest idea what that
means -- nothing comes out. He finally just slumps
back in his chair; exhausted.
57 INT. TROI'S OFFICE
Troi sits with a confused, disconsolate Worf. She,
too, seems a bit downtrodden... as weary of dealing
with her mother as Worf is of coping with Alexander.
WORF
I do not understand. I have been
very clear with the boy as to his
obligations. And yet -- he
continues to ignore me.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/04/92 - ACT FOUR 39A.
57 CONTINUED:
TROI
I know what you mean. I've been
quite clear with my mother about
her not interfering with
Alexander... but she does what
she wants in spite of it.
There is a beat as the two of them reflect on their
strangely shared experience.
WORF
When I was six years old, I
listened to what my parents said.
I obeyed their rules.
She casts him a look. He turns away.
WORF
Most of the time.
A beat, as she remembers.
TROI
When I was six, she gave me a
birthday party. Halfway through
it, she disappeared... and finally
came back dressed as a Koropian
princess... carried in a sedan
chair by four young men. It was
mortifying.
WORF
My mother would not have done
that.
TROI
It seems that all my life I've
felt like I'm the parent... and
my mother is the child...
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/04/92 - ACT FOUR 40.
57 CONTINUED: (2)
TROI
I wonder why I'm at such a loss
to put a stop to it?
WORF
And I wonder why I have lost
control of Alexander.
Troi leans forward.
TROI
You know... it's been said that
grandparents and grandchildren
get along so well because they
have a common enemy.
Worf gives a half smile. Troi smiles back.
58 INT. LWAXANA'S QUARTERS
Alexander sits, an interested observer, looking up at
Lwaxana standing on one side of him, and Campio on the
other. Erko is in b.g. behind Campio; Mister Homn in
b.g. behind Lwaxana.
CAMPIO
I don't wish to be authoritative,
my dear, but Master Erko says that
now is our proper time for
discussion of certain details.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT FOUR 40A.
58 CONTINUED:
LWAXANA
(ever-chipper)
Well, I certainly don't wish to
be considered anti-Erko, dear,
but I did promise Alexander one
more holodeck trip.
(takes Alex's hand)
So come, my little love.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT FOUR 41.
58 CONTINUED: (2)
CAMPIO
Surely there'll be other occasions
for you to spend time with the
boy.
LWAXANA
My goodness, Campio. You and I
are going to have the rest of our
lives. Tell you what: I'll be
back with you in one hour.
Exactly. All right?
ERKO
Minister, the woman should not
be addressing you in the familiar.
59 QUICK REACTION - LWAXANA
For one beat, she shoots Erko a look that indicates
she'd like to drop-kick him into the next county.
60 RESUME - SHOT
As Alex approaches the doors, they open -- and we see
Troi and Worf just arriving. Those two ENTER, with:
TROI
Mother, we need to talk...
LWAXANA
We certainly do, dear, but not
just now.
(to Erko)
How do I address him?
TROI
Mother, we've come for Alexander.
(to all)
Please forgive the intrusion,
but...
ERKO
Preferably, he should be called
by his ministerial title.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT FOUR 42.
60 CONTINUED:
LWAXANA
(to Erko)
Ah. I'll remember. Mister Homn?
You make everybody comfortable
until we get back; especially...
(re: Campio)
... the Minister.
(to Campio)
One hour, darling; see you then.
She starts to leave, but Worf happens to be standing
between Lwaxana and the door.
WORF
Mrs. Troi, it is Alexander's
dinner hour.
LWAXANA
How thoughtless of me.
(to Alex; brightly)
We'll have a little picnic before
the mudbath.
CAMPIO
But we have business to deal with
here. Leaving is simply not
acceptable.
LWAXANA
Oh, can't we pretend it's
acceptable? We'll be back.
CAMPIO
You are missing the point.
WORF
Alexander, you will please return
to quarters and have your dinner.
ALEXANDER
But we're going to the holodeck.
TROI
Mother, you are undermining every
effort we're trying to make
here.
LWAXANA
Don't be absurd.
ERKO
It is essential that the wedding
procedures be discussed now.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT FOUR 42A.
60 CONTINUED: (2)
LWAXANA
Well, then... Minister, darling,
perhaps you and the Gerko there
can come with us.
(quick aside, to Troi)
Poor dear, don't they ever let
you change those colorless
outfits?
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT FOUR 43.
60 CONTINUED: (3)
CAMPIO
Lwaxana, this exceeds all
boundaries.
LWAXANA
Oh. Well, half an hour, then.
No longer. I promise. Your
duties, Mister Homn.
CAMPIO
Counselor Troi, have you no
influence?
TROI
Hah!
Alexander, recognizing that sound, puts his hands
against his diaphragm (as we've seen him do earlier)
and exudes his own "Laughing Hour" sound:
ALEXANDER
Ha!
CAMPIO
Lwaxana, if you will remain, I
may allow the boy to stay while
we...
ERKO
Definitely not.
At this point, Lwaxana and Alex will EXIT (o.s.).
WORF
Definitely not. My son is to
return to quarters!
ERKO
Nor may a servant be present
during a prenuptial consultation.
TROI
Well, sir, I'm afraid even the
bride won't be present for this
one.
Those still present look around to discover that
Lwaxana and Alexander are, indeed, gone.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/05/92 - ACT FOUR 44.
61 INT. ENGINEERING
Data, with tricorder, has been examining the dilithium
chamber housing. In b.g., tricorder sweeps are also
being made by two crewpersons. Data rounds a corner
and into --
61A INT. ENGINEERING SIDE ROOM
where Geordi is inspecting power transfer conduits.
DATA
The dilithium chamber shows no
anomalous readings.
GEORDI
So far, these transfer conduits
are clean, too -- hold on, I'm
getting something here...
Data moves toward him as Geordi runs his tricorder over
an access panel.
GEORDI
There's a pretty severe energy
fluctuation in this access
panel...
62 OMITTED
62A FAVORING GEORDI AT ACCESS PANEL OPENING (OPTICAL)
He traces the "hot spot" to the panel seam. As he
removes the panel itself: Beat -- and then a FLOOD of
orange goo comes down through the panel opening. As
Geordi's recovering from that surprise, he's startled
anew by the "escape" of a much larger amount of the
"Twinkling Stuff" than we saw earlier.
63 FOLLOWING TWINKLING STUFF (OPTICAL)
as it travels up another seam and disappears into
another duct.
63A RESUME - GEORDI
His face reflects his stunned incredulity.
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT FOUR
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/05/92 - ACT FIVE 45.
ACT FIVE
FADE IN:
64 EXT. SPACE - THE ENTERPRISE (OPTICAL)
at impulse power.
65 EXT. EDGE OF SHIRALEAN VI GLADE - DAY (HOLODECK)
Lwaxana and Alexander sit on the edge of the mudbath,
their feet dangling down. The JUGGLER sits
cross-legged nearby; obviously forlorn -- and with
nothing to juggle.
ALEXANDER
What happened?
JUGGLER
I was just juggling... and I
happened to catch one in my mouth.
It tasted good, so I ate it. Then
before I knew it, I'd eaten every
one of my worlds. It hadn't
occurred to me that, once they
were gone, I'd have nothing left
to juggle. If you ever have a
world, plan ahead. Don't eat it.
Alexander thinks that's funny, laughs, as:
LWAXANA
Well, now. Almost time to go
back.
ALEXANDER
Are you sad?
LWAXANA
(brightly)
Why, of course not. I'm about to
be a bride.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/07/92 - ACT FIVE 46.
65 CONTINUED:
ALEXANDER
That man you're going to marry?
He wouldn't ever come for a
mudbath, would he?
LWAXANA
Oh, he might... Probably not.
As they rise and she takes his hand to walk away:
ALEXANDER
Maybe this would be a good time
to get one of those little
people that live inside you to
come out and tell you what to do;
or help you, or something.
LWAXANA
Alexander, what are you talking
about?
ALEXANDER
I'm sorry.
She suddenly puts her arm tightly around him. The hug
she's giving him this time is all heart and gentleness
-- and out of her own need.
LWAXANA
(quietly fervent)
No... Don't you dare be sorry.
Beat -- then, a GURGLING sound (as from a backed-up
drain) is heard. Lwaxana peers off (o.s.) to see:
66 OMITTED
66A HER POV - WALL GRID (OPTICAL)
The holodeck wall grid is peeking through. A great
gob of Orange Goo flows out of the grid -- cutting
through the "fantasy" world.
66B REACTION - LWAXANA
She stiffens with apprehension.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT FIVE 46A.
67 RESUME - SHOT
LWAXANA
Something's wrong.
She takes his hand, rises with him -- her eyes still
riveted on the (o.s.) Goo.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/06/92 - ACT FIVE 47.
67 CONTINUED:
She starts leading him away, in a direction opposite
that in which she's seen the (o.s.) Orange Goo, with:
LWAXANA
(continuing)
Come, dear, let's not leave
everyone waiting for us.
68 OMITTED
68A ON WALL GRID (OPTICAL)
The Orange Goo continues flowing downward.
69 INT. ENGINEERING
Geordi and Data with Picard.
GEORDI
When we saw that photonic
trail moving through the walls,
we realized we must be dealing
with a metal parasite of some
kind.
DATA
We believe the parasites came
through the ship's hull when we
destroyed the asteroid near Tessen
Three.
PICARD
Are they attacking anything other
than nitrium alloy?
GEORDI
Not that we can tell. But we've
got nitrium everywhere --
ventilation, life support,
engines, computers... even in the
dilithium chamber.
Picard takes this in, mulls it over.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/04/92 - ACT FIVE 47A.
69 CONTINUED:
PICARD
Mister Data... you said the
asteroid we destroyed was rich
in nitrium...
DATA
Yes, sir.
PICARD
That asteroid was from the
Pelloris Field... if the rest of
that field is rich in nitrium...
it would have been a natural
feeding ground.
GEORDI
We should think about going back
there... it's possible the
parasites could be lured back to
the asteroids... for a meal
that's more appealing than we
are.
PICARD
How long to the field, Mister
Data?
DATA
At warp nine, five hours twenty
minutes, sir.
PICARD
(keys combadge)
Picard to the bridge...
RIKER'S COM VOICE
Riker here, sir.
PICARD
Set a course for the Pelloris
asteroid field -- warp nine.
RIKER'S COM VOICE
Aye, sir.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/04/92 - ACT FIVE 48.
69 CONTINUED: (2)
DATA
Captain, with our sensors unable
to detect the parasites... and
given the speed with which they
appear to be moving through the
ship --
PICARD
-- then we may not have five hours
and twenty minutes. I'm aware
of that. What can we do to slow
them down?
DATA
In several cases, an exanogen gas
barrier has been known to slow
the progress of metal parasites.
PICARD
They don't like the cold, eh?
Make it so.
GEORDI
The problem is finding them. By
the time we spot an energy
fluctuation, they've consumed all
the nitrium and moved on.
Suddenly, the lights DIM alarmingly. Geordi springs to
his console.
GEORDI
Primary power systems are going
down. I'll reroute to the
secondary generators.
The lights GROW BRIGHT again.
PICARD
Advise the bridge.
(turns to exit)
Mister Data, with me.
Picard and Data EXIT, leaving Geordi working furiously.
70 OMITTED
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/04/92 - ACT FIVE 48A.
70A INT. CORRIDOR NEAR TURBOLIFT
As Picard and Data move briskly to the turbolift, and
ENTER.
PICARD
Bridge.
The doors close.
70B INT. TURBOLIFT
as Picard and Data ride upward:
PICARD
Commander, do you have any
suggestions on how we could
encourage the parasites to leave
the ship once we reach the
Pelloris Field?
DATA
If we reconfigure a particle beam
with a high concentration of
nitrium, and project it
toward one of the asteroids...
PICARD
They'll follow the beam... like
a trail of breadcrumbs. Very
well --
He stops, his eye drawn upward by something. They both
look toward:
70C UPPER WALL VENT
Orange Goo begins oozing out, spilling down along the
wall. It's coming in larger quantities than we've seen
before.
70D PICARD AND DATA
react to the sight. Another beat, and --
DATA
Turbolift velocity is beginning
to fluctuate, Captain.
The turbolift JOLTS briefly to a halt; almost
immediately begins rising again.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/04/92 - ACT FIVE 48B.
70D CONTINUED:
PICARD
Computer; stop at next level.
(no response)
Computer, acknowledge.
As, after another beat, the turbolift does halt, but
the doors remain closed. Data pries them apart enough
to peer out.
DATA
We have reached the bridge, sir.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/04/92 - ACT FIVE 49.
70E
thru OMITTED
79
80 INT. BRIDGE
The turbolift doors are pried open by Data. Picard
slips out, followed by Data, and the doors SNAP shut
behind them. Red Alert is already on. Picard moves
to command, Data to ops, as:
PICARD
Report, Number One.
RIKER
Life support and ventilation are
failing at random spots all over
the ship.
WORF
Captain, we've dropped to warp
five-point-seven.
PICARD
Picard to engineering.
GEORDI'S COM VOICE
La Forge here...
81 OMITTED
81A INT. ENGINEERING - INTERCUTTING
as Geordi labors at his console, a loud, intermittent
BUZZING sound issues from the engine room. In b.g.,
crewpersons are spraying a cold gas around wall panels
and the dilithium chamber.
PICARD
What's happening, Mister La Forge?
We're slowing down.
GEORDI
The parasites must've gotten into
the primary warp controller, sir.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/04/92 - ACT FIVE 50.
81A CONTINUED:
GEORDI
(continuing)
I'm trying to do a bypass patch
to isolate the backup
controllers... but it looks like
warp six is the best I can give
you.
PICARD
At that speed there won't be a
ship left to reach the Pelloris
Field. Do what you have to.
GEORDI
Working on it, sir.
DATA
Captain, we're losing life support
on decks eleven and twelve.
PICARD
Mister Worf, have security
evacuate all personnel from those
decks.
81B OMITTED
81B INT. CORRIDOR
Lwaxana and Alexander, hand in hand, are among the
several others being ushered through the corridor by
security personnel.
LWAXANA
They're just moving us to another
deck. Don't you worry, my little
warrior; we'll be fine.
She and Alex hurry with the others toward a turbolift.
81C OMITTED
81D INT. ENGINEERING
Geordi is still at one of the consoles. The
crewpersons continue to spray various parts of
engineering.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/04/92 - ACT FIVE 51.
81D CONTINUED:
GEORDI
(keys combadge)
Engineering to bridge. We've got
warp six-point-five... but I
don't know how much more coaxing
I can do here.
PICARD'S COM VOICE
We need more speed than that,
Commander.
81E OMITTED
81F INT. ENGINEERING
Everybody here is beginning -- visibly -- to perspire.
Orange Goo is seen oozing from several wall panels.
Another alarm sounds, and one of the consoles starts
blinking warning lights. Geordi rushes to that
console.
GEORDI
The matter-antimatter injectors
are failing... I'm rerouting to
secondary injector power now.
(to crewpersons)
Watch the antimatter containment
for any system failure!
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/04/92 - ACT FIVE 52.
82 INT. BRIDGE
Everybody is now not only perspiring profusely, but
is now having some breathing difficulty (excepting,
of course, Data).
RIKER
Atmospheric systems are down to
twenty-seven percent. We're going
below tolerable oxygen limits.
WORF
We must evacuate decks twenty
through twenty-four, Captain.
PICARD
Make it so... and shut down all
life support to those decks.
The lights DIM again.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/04/92 - ACT FIVE 53.
82 CONTINUED:
By the minute, breathing is becoming more difficult.
It is by now labored. Everyone (except Data) is limp
with oxygen and fluid loss. One of the Supernumeraries
slumps to the deck, unconscious; others go to help.
RIKER
(to com)
Direct all evacuees to decks nine
and ten.
PICARD
(to Data)
Divert emergency life support to
those decks.
DATA
Yes, Captain.
PICARD
Time to the asteroid field?
DATA
If we maintain current speed --
and there is no guarantee that
we will -- two hours, twenty-three
minutes.
PICARD
Mister Data. The rest of us may
lose consciousness. If we do,
it will be your job to execute
the plan as discussed.
DATA
Aye, Captain.
Picard slumps back in his chair... trying to preserve
oxygen... struggling to stay conscious.
82A
thru OMITTED
82B
82C EXT. SPACE - THE ENTERPRISE (OPTICAL)
drops out of warp with the asteroid field in view.
82D INT. BRIDGE - SOME TIME LATER
Data is the only one conscious on the bridge.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/04/92 - ACT FIVE 54.
82D CONTINUED:
COMPUTER VOICE
Structural integrity of the
dilithium chamber is at
thirty-four percent. Estimated
breach in one minute.
Data keys instructions, looks up at the viewscreen.
83 ANGLE ON MAIN SCREEN (OPTICAL)
We see myriad multisized asteroids in a gigantic
field.
DATA
Computer, transfer power from warp
engines to life support.
COMPUTER VOICE
Transfer complete.
During the next, we will hear a HISS as oxygen begins
flowing again, and lights BRIGHTEN slowly.
DATA
Activate Bussard collector.
COMPUTER VOICE
Activated. Breach of dilithium
chamber in forty seconds.
DATA
Reconfigure hydrogen-plasma
mixture to include thirty percent
nitrium.
COMPUTER VOICE
Mixture complete.
DATA
Project emitter beam, heading
zero-two-four, mark
zero-four-one.
84
thru OMITTED
87
88 EXT. SPACE - THE ENTERPRISE AND ASTEROID (OPTICAL)
A particle beam shoots from the ship to the nearest
asteroid. A beat -- and then masses of the "Twinkling
Stuff" ride the beam, off the Enterprise and onto the
asteroid.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/05/92 - ACT FIVE 55.
89 INT. BRIDGE (CONTINUOUS)
Red Alert is off... People are beginning to regain
consciousness. Picard is waking up, trying to clear
his head.
COMPUTER VOICE
Structural integrity of the
dilithium chamber is at
twenty-eight percent and holding.
PICARD
Mister Data... ?
DATA
The plan was successful, sir.
PICARD
Well done...
He looks around him, assessing the situation.
PICARD
Mister Worf... coordinate your
teams with Doctor Crusher and
Commander La Forge... assess
damage and injury.
WORF
Aye, Captain.
And Picard takes deep breaths... sits a little
straighter... and realizes they've squeaked through
once again.
90 EXT. SPACE - THE ENTERPRISE (OPTICAL)
moving at impulse.
PICARD (V.O.)
Captain's log, stardate 45733.6.
Temporary repairs to the ship have
been completed.
(beat; wry)
Our attention now turns to matters
of a more festive nature.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - ACT FIVE 56.
91 INT. TEN FORWARD
From somewhere (o.s.), formal (dull) wedding music
plays. At the makeshift altar stands Erko, who is to
officiate. To his right, Picard and Riker; to his
left, Troi and Alexander. In the center stands the
ritually robed, pleasantly expectant Campio. All await
the (o.s.) bride.
92 CLOSE - PICARD & RIKER
RIKER
(thru closed lips)
You'd think she'd at least get
to her own wedding on time.
The music now swells.
93 INCLUDING LWAXANA (AS DESIRED)
She is smiling infectiously, happily, at everyone.
Though we see only noncensorable parts of her, it is
obvious that she has made this appearance STARK NAKED.
94 CLOSE REACTION - CAMPIO
Thunderstruck.
95 ERKO
Open-mouthed, wide-eyed horror.
96 TROI
The beginnings of a relieved, certainly understanding,
smile.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/05/92 - ACT FIVE 57.
97 CLOSE ON LWAXANA
She not only saves her most radiant expression for (the
o.s.) Alexander, but throws him a conspiratorial WINK
to boot.
98 CLOSE ON ALEXANDER
In response, he once again grins happily from ear to
ear.
99 ANOTHER ANGLE
Erko takes Campio's arm.
ERKO
Minister, this is infamous.
Infamous!... We leave immediately!
The speechless Campio is literally led off by his irked
Erko.
100 ON LWAXANA
She shrugs. C'est la vie, folks.
101 EXT. EDGE OF SHIRALEAN GLADE - DAY - CLOSE ON
LWAXANA
She sits contentedly in the mudbath... draws a deep
breath of contentment.
LWAXANA
Ahhhhh... heavenly. Every pore
is tingling with contentment...
A beat as she turns her head; camera WIDENS to show
Alexander sitting next to her.
LWAXANA
Isn't it wonderful how things work
out, Alexander? I wanted to teach
you how to grab the joys of
life... and then you turned
around and taught me not to let
go of them. How very mutual...
WIDEN FURTHER to discover that, alongside Alex, sits
Troi, as:
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - REV. 2/05/92 - ACT FIVE 57A.
101 CONTINUED:
TROI
We still have to learn how to live
in the real world. All of us,
Mother.
LWAXANA
When necessary; yes.
(to Alex)
She is right about that,
Alexander.
(sotto)
But only when necessary.
Now WIDEN AGAIN to reveal, seated alongside Troi, Worf.
He alone is utterly blank-faced as the others enjoy
themselves. He peers first at the others; then down
at the mud; then:
WORF
(lost)
You're just supposed to sit
here?
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT FIVE
THE END
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - APPENDIX 1.
TEXT OF COMPLETE ARGUMENT IN SCENES 23-25
23 INCLUDING YOUNG MAN AND WOMAN
Emerging from one of the tents are a YOUNG, extremely
attractive (humanoid) MAN and WOMAN.
JUGGLER
(to Young Couple)
We're having guests for laughing
hour. Come join us!
YOUNG MAN
We'd love to!
YOUNG WOMAN
No, thank you.
YOUNG MAN
(pleasantly)
Yes.
YOUNG WOMAN
(pleasantly)
No.
YOUNG MAN
Why do you always say "no" when
I say "yes"?
YOUNG WOMAN
I don't.
YOUNG MAN
You just did.
YOUNG WOMAN
There you go again. You are the
most negative person!
YOUNG MAN
You're the one who said "no."
YOUNG WOMAN
Now it's my fault?
YOUNG MAN
I didn't say anything about fault.
YOUNG WOMAN
Yes, you did.
YOUNG MAN
You're wrong, as usual.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - APPENDIX 2.
23 CONTINUED:
YOUNG WOMAN
I'm not usually wrong. I'm never
wrong.
YOUNG MAN
You're wrong if you think you're
never wrong.
YOUNG WOMAN
And you're being negative again!
YOUNG MAN
I most certainly am not!
YOUNG WOMAN
You just were -- you're being
negative when you say you're not
negative!
YOUNG MAN
And you're being stubborn and
narrow-minded.
YOUNG WOMAN
You could not be more wrong. As
usual.
YOUNG MAN
I'm not usually wrong. I'm never
wrong.
YOUNG WOMAN
You're wrong if you think you're
never wrong.
YOUNG MAN
Now who's being negative?
YOUNG WOMAN
You.
YOUNG MAN
I don't think so. You are the
most negative person.
YOUNG WOMAN
How can you say that? It's simply
not true.
YOUNG MAN
Every time you open your mouth,
you say something negative.
STAR TREK: "Cost of Living" - 2/03/92 - APPENDIX 3.
23 CONTINUED: (2)
YOUNG WOMAN
You're the one who is negative.
You negate everything I say.
YOUNG MAN
I do not.
YOUNG WOMAN
And you are extremely stubborn.
YOUNG MAN
I am not. You are!
YOUNG WOMAN
I - am - not!