mirror of
https://github.com/bvanroll/startrek-ml.git
synced 2025-08-29 12:02:45 +00:00
737 lines
24 KiB
HTML
737 lines
24 KiB
HTML
|
||
<!-- saved from url=(0055)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season7/outtakes.htm -->
|
||
<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
|
||
<title>Friends: The Stuff You’ve Never Seen</title>
|
||
|
||
<meta name="GENERATOR" content="Microsoft FrontPage 4.0">
|
||
<meta name="Template" content="C:\Program Files\Microsoft Office\Templates\FRIENDS.dot">
|
||
<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
|
||
|
||
<body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" link="#008000" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
|
||
|
||
<h1 align="center">Friends: The Stuff You’ve Never Seen</h1>
|
||
|
||
<hr>
|
||
|
||
<p>Hosted by: Conan O’Brien<br>
|
||
Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>This is a special out-takes episode. The cast and Conan are sitting around the set of
|
||
Central Perk, talking about the stuff we’ve never seen. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p>Transcriber’s Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all
|
||
of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the
|
||
out-takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica,
|
||
when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachel’s, and the current
|
||
arrangements.</p>
|
||
|
||
<hr>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, the cast of Friends along with Conan O’Brien are sitting and
|
||
talking.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Conan:</b> It’s a tradition here on <i>Friends</i> after every taping for me to
|
||
hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm… The point of this
|
||
whole thing is what people see in America is: they see <i>Friends</i>, they love the show,
|
||
it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes there’s deceit,
|
||
mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought we’d actually take a look at uh,
|
||
y’know some of these moments where you guys are—there are mistakes. You make
|
||
mistakes.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jennifer:</b> Once and a while.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Lisa:</b> From time to time.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Conan:</b> For example, I don’t have to memorize lines. You guys actually have
|
||
to remember what to say and you probably forget from time to time. Yes?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Matthew:</b> Our energy just comes way up when there’s an audience here, and
|
||
when that happens, something happens between your brain and your mouth sometimes and it
|
||
just doesn’t, it just doesn’t work.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there. I think it’s
|
||
The One With The Joke.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh, oh-oh, umm no you didn’t. I did.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh uh-uh, no-no-no-no-uh-uh. (He starts laughing, causing everyone
|
||
else to laugh.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is talking. It looks like when Rachel and Monica
|
||
lived in this apartment.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> So, we realize that—Oh no… (She resets herself) I’m
|
||
telling it! I’m telling it… (She loses it.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Joey is talking to Monica and Chandler.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ha-ha. Look—Come on, I don’t know what to do…or say. (He
|
||
laughs.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Reset]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ha-ha, very funny. I don’t know what to do! Y’know? Holy crud!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Reset]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ha-ha-ha, very funny. Look, I don’t know what to do! (Long pause, as
|
||
everyone cracks up.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Courtney:</b> It is one of those days!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is speaking Italian to Joey’s grandmother.
|
||
I’m spelling phonetically.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> ‘Xcusa seniora, voulez-bere quakay—[Beep]—uck it!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Matt:</b> Wow Pheebs, you-you speak gutter?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Conan:</b> You still get nervous everybody just before a show?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Matthew:</b> Absolutely.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Lisa:</b> Everybody.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Courtney:</b> It’s amazing, like all week long we’ve-we’ve been saying
|
||
the same lines and then the audience is here and we will mess up, and if you mess up
|
||
once
|
||
then you’ll get nervous because you’ll—you know you’ll probably mess
|
||
up again.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Central Perk, first season Monica is talking.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>The Director:</b> Action!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (holding her hand in front of her face) When you were little you slept
|
||
through-through the Grand Canyon.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>The Director:</b> Watch again that hand.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Courtney:</b> This’ll be five/ten takes.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>The Director:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Courtney:</b> Okay. You know it’s gonna happen.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>The Director:</b> Once again, and action!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (the hand’s still there) When-when you were little you slept
|
||
through the Grand Canyon. (She actually itches her nose this time.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Courtney:</b> Oh! Okay! I’m gonna try it without the coffee cup ‘cause I
|
||
think it’s the left hand that’s messing me up.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Reset]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> When you were little you slept through the Grand—(Pointing
|
||
again)—Oh fffff….</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are talking.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Sorry, let’s go back! ‘Cause you’ve got more to say.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Lisa:</b> Do I? Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, that’s your fault. I…say.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(They both laugh.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Lisa:</b> I love you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Courtney:</b> I love you! (They hug.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Conan:</b> But there must be, there must—are a lot of moments over the years
|
||
where you’re just trying to do your job, something goes wrong.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey is giving Chandler the bracelet from season 2.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey and, this is a little extra something for y’know, always being
|
||
there for me.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Suddenly there’s a noise off stage and the camera on Joey swings around.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Matthew:</b> Hey Joey! The camera hit our wall!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Matt:</b> What?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on
|
||
the <i>Magna-Doodle</i> when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>David:</b> Ahh! Sh—(Beep)—it that hurt!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jennifer:</b> Are you okay?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Reset]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[When he hears Jennifer try to open the door he jumps back, and Jennifer is unable to
|
||
open the door this time.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut the hallway, Rachel is exiting from Monica’s when the door closes on her
|
||
skirt.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey Rach! (She breaks up and goes back into Monica’s.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, with the giant entertainment center. Joey is exiting from his
|
||
room.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh yeah? Then how come I keep—(He notices that the marker board they
|
||
use has been left on the entertainment center and holds up his discovery.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, first season, Monica is making a giant sub-sandwich and
|
||
is talking to Rachel. I think it’s The One With the Fake Monica.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> It was so wild! We told ‘em we were the Gundersons in
|
||
16…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Jennifer starts laughing.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Courtney:</b> (laughing) I spit on her!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jennifer:</b> (to Lisa) <i>Operation</i>. You had a fun one.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Lisa:</b> Oh yeah!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jennifer:</b> With <i>Operation</i>.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Conan:</b> It was a little game. Yeah, with an electric buzzer.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, The One With George Stephanopoulos, Phoebe is showing
|
||
Monica and Rachel that she brought <i>Operation</i> to their slumber party.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh-ooh, and I brought <i>Operation</i>, but umm I lost the umm… (It
|
||
starts buzzing) It’s making a noise.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Lisa:</b> But le Blanc really doesn’t mess up much.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Conan:</b> You don’t verbally mess up, but sometimes physically? You mess up.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Matt:</b> I have had some clumsy moments, I guess you can call ‘em.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Central Perk, to the theme from <i>The Dick Van Dyke</i> show Joey runs into
|
||
Central Perk carrying a stack of <i>Soap Opera Digest</i>s and falls on the step. He does
|
||
bounce right back up making it all that much funnier.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Lisa:</b> He fell down once! And we re-did it and we went back. And
|
||
he—(laughs)—he was afraid he was gonna fall down…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Conan:</b> You could actually see him trying not to fall down.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Central Perk, same as before Joey is entering.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Pheebs! (He looks down as he goes down the step to make sure he
|
||
didn’t fall again.) Check it out! (He starts laughing when he realized what he did.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Courtney:</b> This particular time when he continued to fall or y’know, try not
|
||
to fall, I was in the room with Matthew and Matthew was like, "Should I do it?"</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Reset from before, Matt doesn’t fall or look down.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Pheebs! Check it out! Check it out! Check it out! Check it out! (Hands her
|
||
one.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ooh, <i>Soap Opera Digest</i>!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(As she’s saying that Joey is trying to pull out a chair and sit down, only Matthew comes
|
||
running in from off camera and dives for the same chair.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Conan:</b> Matthew, you have a reputation with the rest of the cast that sometimes
|
||
you like to, you like to fool around a bit. I mean like if something’s naturally
|
||
going wrong you like to get in there and juice it a little bit. True or false?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Matthew:</b> I don’t necessarily like to juice things…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Courtney:</b> He said true or false!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica’s restaurant kitchen, it’s the episode where Joey is working
|
||
as a waiter at Monica’s restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it
|
||
on fire.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh! Ooh-ooh!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What are you doing?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> You’re still a tiny bit on fire there.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh geez! Okay! Thanks!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Matthew runs in and starts patting the other breast, then walks away. Matt slowly
|
||
stops patting her breast.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling
|
||
Monica something.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><strong>Richard:</strong> It was great seeing you the other night.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, it was good to see you too. Did you come down here to tell me
|
||
that?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><strong>Richard:</strong> Noo! I came down here to tell you something else. I came here
|
||
to tell you I still love you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Suddenly the door flies open and in walks Chandler!!)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What the fu—(beep)—ck are you doing?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Conan:</b> Now you guys work with animals a lot. You had to work early on with a
|
||
monkey…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jennifer:</b> That damn monkey.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Conan:</b> That damn monkey.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, The One Where The Monkey Gets Away, Rachel is watching a
|
||
soap opera with Marcel.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay. Okay, see now the one with the feather boa? That’s Dr.
|
||
Francis. She used to be a man. Oh look! There—(Marcel (Katie) jumps away)—Okay.
|
||
(And runs behind her on the back of the couch for a little while.) </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jennifer:</b> Katie. Geez! See Katie, come here—Katie! (Katie spills some
|
||
popcorn.) Katie, come here Katie. (She obeys and sits where she’s supposed to.) Very
|
||
good.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Reset, they’re about to start the scene when Katie suddenly jumps up startling
|
||
Jennifer.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jennifer:</b> Lisa’s laugh though…There’s—It’s so
|
||
infectious. It’s one of those things…just forget about it. Once it starts,
|
||
it’s all gone.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, it’s actually Joey and Rachel’s. Phoebe is trying
|
||
to convince Rachel to switch with her and live with Monica as Joey looks on.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No y’know, I don’t want to switch! Come on! I can throw wet
|
||
paper towels here!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well at Monica’s you can eat—(Suddenly cracks up.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Lisa:</b> Okay, shh yeah. ‘Cause it’s not silly.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>The Director:</b> Here we go.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jennifer:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>The Director:</b> And…action!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No-no Ph-Ph-Ph-Ph… (She starts laughing.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Reset]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jennifer:</b> (to Lisa) Ready?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Lisa:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(They all start laughing.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Conan:</b> And then it just builds on itself and there’s no doing the scene
|
||
after. I mean you probably wait and really get it together and do it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>David:</b> For me, I have a hard time with le Blanc in particular. When-when—I
|
||
mean when…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Conan:</b> (to Matt) You bastard.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Matt:</b> Yeah, what did I do?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>David:</b> …I keep a straight face he-he delivers like this look, a reaction to
|
||
you, or a certain take, I-I—I mean I find it <b>so</b> funny.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Ross is eating breakfast with Joey and Monica. Joey is
|
||
walking towards Ross.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Mornin’</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Mornin’</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Joey hugs Ross’s neck and has a look of complete contentment on his face which,
|
||
after a short while, causes David and Matt to start laughing.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Monica is throwing a party. Joey is talking to Ross
|
||
about the bad audition he just had while pouring booze onto a snow cone.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I mean what kind of an actor, what kind of an actor can’t even say,
|
||
"Hmm, noodle soup?"</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(David smiles.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Matt:</b> That’s a good one? (They both laugh.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>David:</b> Now, we should go back and take the other line.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Matt:</b> Okay, I’ll just put a little more booze on there. (Pours some more
|
||
on.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I think, subconsciously…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (cracking up) Nope, you lost me.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Reset, Joey is about to pour more booze on.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>David:</b> No! Come on!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the bride’s
|
||
maid test.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start, you
|
||
walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the
|
||
floor.) I’ll be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (jumping up) No! No! No!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(David and Matt just lose it then.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Conan:</b> We’ll be right back with more <i>Friends</i>, less me.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Courtney and Matthew are getting ready to do a scene
|
||
where Monica’s sick.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Courtney:</b> I’m doing my brother.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Matthew:</b> That’s…gross.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Conan and the cast in Central Perk.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Conan:</b> You uh, you’ve worked with—They always say a performer should
|
||
never work with pets or children.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jennifer:</b> Aww, the kids.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Carol and Susan’s apartment, from next week’s episode Rachel is
|
||
talking to Ben.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>The Director:</b> Action.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay. Now—What is my first line?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ben:</b> (prompting her) What did we agree?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jennifer:</b> Okay…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>David:</b> The good thing about the young kids though, they’re completely
|
||
unpredictable. Which is a lot of fun as an actor to respond with. But there was one
|
||
story…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jennifer:</b> Oh little Ben.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>David:</b> Where the story was that I was anticipating that I would be around to
|
||
hear my son’s first words spoken. But the scene was about that he wasn’t
|
||
supposed to be able to speak and, uh for some reason when we started doing the show…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Central Perk, Ross is taking Ben to visit Rachel who’s working there.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hi! We’re visiting!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yay!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> It’s Ben and his Da-Da. Da-Da? Can you say Da-Da? Y’know, you
|
||
might as well say it because I told your…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ben:</b> Da…Da.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Reset]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Can you say Da-Da? See, I’m gonna tell your mommies you said it
|
||
anyway, so you might as well try…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ben:</b> Da…Da.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Huh?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ben:</b> Da…Da.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>David:</b> Yeah, he’s saying Da-Da.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Matt:</b> And then sometimes during the show y’know but you’re like, the
|
||
scene’s going one way but you’re just tempted to say something another time.
|
||
Like, do you remember that one where Monica’s baking cookies in our old apartment?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jennifer:</b> She’s trying to intrigue us to hang out with her.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Matt:</b> Yeah, she’s trying to waft the smell across the hall to get us to
|
||
come hang out in her new place, and we’re sitting there eating pizza and I think it
|
||
was you (Points to Lisa) that said…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the scene described above.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What do I smell?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Matt:</b> I think I was supposed to say, "I don’t know," and go over
|
||
and open the door. And I went…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, same scene.] </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What do I smell?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (Pause) Sorry. (Raises his hand in shame.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Matt:</b> (everyone laughs) And then it was like four takes later before we could
|
||
get through it with a straight face.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, same scene.] </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What do I smell?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Pause.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>David:</b> Le Blanc.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Reset] </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What do I smell?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I don’t know, but it smells good. (He gets up and heads for the door
|
||
only to stop short and start laughing.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Conan:</b> But audiences—You have a live studio audience and they must love
|
||
that. They must love it when they see you guys playing.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Ross is living with Chandler and Joey. Joey and Ross have
|
||
built a fort out of boxes, Chandler enters and they stand up slowly.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What are you guys doing?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Ross and Joey both reach down and pull up their pants.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Nothing.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Nothin’.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Conan:</b> So that you will intentionally do something
|
||
that—they’ll-they’ll intentionally screw it up?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Courtney:</b> Yeah!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>David:</b> Yeah!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica and Ross leaving Joey and Chandler’s hotel room in London. As they
|
||
exit Joey and Chandler enter from the bathroom with both of their pants down around their
|
||
ankles.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Matt:</b> (noticing the laughter) Why? What’s the matter?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(They both bounce back into the bathroom.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Conan:</b> (to Courtney) You-you’ve worn a fat suit on the show. And, a lot of
|
||
people love you in the fat suit. Do you like wearing the fat suit? Is it fun?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Central Perk, Fat Monica and Rachel are on the couch.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Courtney:</b> I’m melting!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Courtney:</b> They made me dance, in the fat suit.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Courtney is dancing in the fat suit and after shaking
|
||
her groove thing sits down in exhaustion.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Conan:</b> I-I heard some of you guys talking about this earlier, but sometimes
|
||
there’s just a word that someone has to say that you’ll get hung up on. And
|
||
it’ll just—the way you say the word is funny to everybody else.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross
|
||
and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> That tastes like feet!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(David puts his napkin up to his mouth and starts laughing at his own line. Matt
|
||
notices him after a while and starts laughing as well.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Matt:</b> It tastes like (mimicking him in a high-pitched voice) feet!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>David:</b> Okay, we’re good.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>The Director:</b> Action!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> That tastes like feet!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Matt starts laughing.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Matt:</b> Sometimes the dialogue itself is just so funny and
|
||
you’ll—we’ll be rehearsing during the week and you
|
||
just—whatever-whatever the joke is; it’s so funny we can’t get through it
|
||
in rehearsal and just…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jennifer:</b> You just know.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Matt:</b> You-you mentally make a flag on it and you say, "Okay show night,
|
||
I’m just—I’ll never be able to get through this."</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Sick Monica is trying to entice Chandler to have sex
|
||
with her.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Are you saying that you don’t want to get with this?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> You see, I don’t say—(Starts laughing.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, it’s the one with the fake chocolate. Monica has
|
||
baked some cookies and Phoebe is trying them.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (spitting the cookie out onto a napkin) Oh, sweet
|
||
Je—(Beep)—sus! Oh! Monica, these are the (laughing) cookies they serve in hell!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the gang is watching Joey’s debut on <i>Days</i>.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (noticing the woman on the screen) Whoa! She’s purty!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh yeah, and she’s really nice too! She taught me about y’know,
|
||
how to work with the cameras and smell-the-fart acting.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Joey?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I’m sorry…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Excuse me, what?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Matt turns back and looks at them, but instead of his next line he starts laughing.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Conan:</b> When you have to do physical business for a scene, I mean there must be;
|
||
there must be a lot of funny moments when you have to physically do a task as part of a
|
||
scene.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>David:</b> Yeah, Rachel, Chandler, and Ross had to try to get a couch up a
|
||
stair—a very narrow New York stairwell and that was probably…I-I think it was
|
||
the hardest I’ve-I’ve laughed in my life period.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to the scene described above.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Pivot! (They pivot) Pivot! (They pivot) Okay, pivot! Piv-at! (He starts
|
||
laughing.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Reset]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Pivot! Piv-at! Piv-at!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(David is laughing.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>David:</b> Pivat!! (In a high pitched voice) Pivat!!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Conan:</b> You’ve done over 150 episodes, but your favorite moments that 80
|
||
years from now you’ll be thinking about?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Matthew:</b> It is when we’re able to crack each other up.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is cleaning the apartment for Monica and is
|
||
frustrated with things not lining up.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Monica’s gotta have the phone in the right place
|
||
and—(Frantic babbling.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (To Chandler) All right! All right! All right! (To Joey) We <b>are</b>
|
||
fixing it. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Matt starts laughing.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>David:</b> He’s gone. He’s… </p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Matt mimics Chandler.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>David:</b> We enjoy watching each other. And I settle for watching each other’s
|
||
performance, and we like each other.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Ross’s second wedding reception, Joey has just told him the band is ready
|
||
with Rachel looking on.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh the band’s ready! And well—I-I—we gotta do what the band
|
||
says, right? I don’t care about the stinkin’ band!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Jennifer starts laughing.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Conan:</b> Okay <i>Friends</i> gang, thanks for doing it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>David:</b> Well thank you so much.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Jennifer:</b> Thank you Conan!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Matthew:</b> Well thank you for coming here, it’s good to see you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe at the mike.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Thank you my babies. (Waves good-bye.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Ending Credits</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica’s work kitchen, she’s on fire again and Joey is putting her
|
||
out.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh what are doing?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> You’re still a tiny bit on fire there!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I think you got it!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Courtney:</b> I’m sorry, I messed up.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Matt:</b> I’ll do it again and again if you want.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the bad dessert Ross is quickly eating the mound on his
|
||
plate.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No-no! I’ll-I’ll… (He takes too much and some falls out of
|
||
his mouth, which starts him laughing.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>David:</b> That is too much!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Matt grabs his plate and takes some of what’s on Ross’s plate.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[We close with a bunch of scenes where they screw up and make weird noises. It finishes
|
||
with.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Matthew:</b> Let me start that again.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
|
||
</body></html> |