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<!-- saved from url=(0055)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season3/316toama.htm -->
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<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
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<title>The One The Morning After</title>
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<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
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<body bgcolor="white" text="black" link="green" vlink="black" alink="yellow" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
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<h1 align="center">The One The Morning After</h1>
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<hr align="center">
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<p>Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane<br>
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Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a> </p>
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<hr>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (Voice Over) Previously on Friends.</p>
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<p>[A montage of scenes from <a href="http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season3/season3/315rrtb.htm">The One Where Ross and Rachel
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Take A Break</a> follows.]</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I mean, I don’t feel like I even have a girlfriend anymore.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> You want me to just quit my job so that you can feel like you’ve
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got a girlfriend?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Is this about Mark?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (shocked) Oh my God.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, it’s not, it’s not.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight with you Ross! Look,
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urrgh, maybe we should take a break.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Fine, you’re right. Let’s ah, let’s take a break, (goes to
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the door) let’s cool off, okay, let’s get some frozen yoghurt, or something..
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(opens the door)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> No. A break from us.</p>
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<p>(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Mark is there, opening Chinese food boxes.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Then, we had this big, stupid fight, and I said I wanted to take a
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break, I don’t want to take a break.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (on the phone) I’ve been thinking, this is crazy, I mean don’t,
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don’t you think we can work on this? </p>
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<p><b>Mark:</b> Hey, what do you want to drink?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Who’s that?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Nobody.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Is that Mark?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Umm, honey, look he just came over to....</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah! Got it! (slams down the phone)</p>
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<p>[Scene: The Philly.]</p>
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<p><b>Chloe:</b> Hey, come dance. What? Are you married? ‘Cause that’s okay.</p>
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<p>[Cut to Chloe and Ross dancing, and their kiss.]</p>
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<p align="center"><b>The Next Morning</b></p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is making a fruit drink in the blender, Rachel has
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just finished her shower and is coming out of the bathroom.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> How’s the big anniversary dinner?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, we never actually got to dinner.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Ohhh, nice.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> No, we kinda broke up instead.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> What?! (She accidentally starts the blender without the lid on it and
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fruit flies everywhere.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (looking up at the ceiling) God, Monica it’s on the ceiling.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> That’s okay, this is more important than fruit (pause) (angrily) on
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my ceiling! You broke up?!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, but it’s okay, because when Ross left Mark came over.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh no!! </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> No.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Rachel, you and Mark?!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> No, no-no, it’s okay, calm down. Mark and I talked, and I realised
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how much I love your stupid brother, and, yeah, we got our problems, but I really want to
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make it work.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Ross’s Bedroom, Ross is waking up. He straightens himself out on the bed
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and puts the covers over his head.]</p>
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<p><b>Chloe:</b> (entering from bathroom) Morning!</p>
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<p>(Ross sits bolt upright, without moving the covers.)</p>
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<p align="center"><b>Opening Credits</b></p>
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<p>[Scene: Ross’s Kitchen, Ross is taking some aspirin and checking his messages.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (on answering machine) Hi, it’s me. I’ve been trying to reach
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you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and
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Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid. </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah!!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Eh, I’m just so sorry I put you through it. And, I y'know, I
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don’t want to get back together over a machine.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Na-huh.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> So, I love you.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I love you.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> And y'know what, I’m gonna, I’m gonna go to bed now, but ah,
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on my way to work tomorrow morning, I’m gonna stop by around 8:30.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay. (Ross starts frantically looking for a clock.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Bye.</p>
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<p>(Ross finds a clock, sees it’s almost 8:30, and silently screams.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Chloe, Chloe how’s it coming?!!</p>
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<p><b>Chloe:</b> (entering from bedroom) Hey, what kind of puppy do you think I should
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get?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Umm, oh, hey, I don’t know. How about a big one?</p>
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<p><b>Chloe:</b> But my apartment is so...</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Well then a small one!! Listen, let’s, we kinda have to get going!</p>
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<p><b>Chloe:</b> Wait! Where’s my shoes?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> You, you sure you need shoes? (Chloe nods her head) Okay. (reaches down
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and picks up a shoe)</p>
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<p><b>Chloe:</b> Do I know why we’re rushing?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night?
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(He’s frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe)
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Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!! </p>
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<p><b>Chloe:</b> That’s so great for you guys!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah! </p>
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<p><b>Chloe:</b> You must be so happy!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yes, yes I am, one of the many things I’m feeling. Well.... (picks up
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her coat)</p>
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<p><b>Chloe:</b> Good luck, with your girlfriend. </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between
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their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind
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the door) Rachel!!!!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi. Ohhh, you got my message.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, oh hey, you are right on time.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> So what do you say? Can I be your girlfriend again?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yes, you can, very much.</p>
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<p>(Chloe gives Ross the thumbs up while still standing behind the door.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (seeing the thumbs up) Ahhhh!! (Hugs Rachel tighter.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering carry a large box, Monica is mopping
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the ceiling.]</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey, why are you mopping your ceiling?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, there’s banana on it.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wow, I have the spirit of an old Indian women living in mine.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> So then you know? (Phoebe nods her head)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> The mailman was downstairs, so I brought up your mail.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, good. Thanks.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Now what is Fabutec?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, all right don’t judge me to much. Okay? Um, but I saw this
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info-mercial, and um, I swear to you I have never-ever bought anything on TV before,
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except for this mop. But there was this stuff on leg waxing, it just, it looked so
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amazing....</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Waxine!!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Yes! Have you seen it?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, it’s incredible! I so want to be a Waxine girl.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I know!!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> God. Do think it really doesn’t hurt? ‘Cause how can they do
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that?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hello! Organic substances recently discovered in the depths of the rain
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forest!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> They have the best stuff in there.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross has told Chandler and Joey his terrible act.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh my God! Oh my God!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah. We figured when we couldn’t find you, you’d gone home to
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make up with Rachel. Which is probably what you shoulda done. Huh?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> You think?! God, I, ah, I’m in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do?
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Rachel’s all like, ‘I love you and, and let’s work on this.’ And all I
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can think about is, ‘What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say?’ when I tell
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her what I did.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, before we answer that, I think we should address the more
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important question. How dumb are you?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What?! Look, we’re trying to rebuild a relationship here, right. How
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am I supposed to do that here, without being totally honest with each other?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Look, Ross look, I’m on board about this totally honesty thing, I am,
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just not about stuff that’s gonna get you in trouble.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> He’s right. Nobody’s gonna benefit, and you’re just
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gonna hurt her.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, and there won’t be a relationship left to rebuild.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, but don’t you think....</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> All right look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait
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until the timing’s right. And that’s what deathbeds are for.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, okay. (he plops down into one of the leather chairs, with the
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footrest extended.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> All right, okay, now, we just have to make sure she doesn’t find out
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some other way. (spins the chair around so that Ross is facing him) Did you think about
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the trail?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What trail?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (stomps on the footrest which pops Ross up into a sitting position) The
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trail from the woman you did it with to the woman you hope never finds out who did it!
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(slapping his hands with each word) You always have to think about the trail!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, I-I don’t think there’s any trail.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issac’s
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sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebe’s
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friends with Rachel. And that’s the trail, I did it!</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica's Bedroom, Monica and Phoebe are waxing their legs.]</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (reading from the instructions) After applying the Waxine and linen
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strips to leg number one, </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Did that!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Grasp one of the linen strips by its ‘easy grab tab’ and pull
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it off in one quick pain free motion.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay. (Does so.) Ow!!!!! Ow-oh-oh!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Was it not pain-free?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> No. It was painful. Oh my God , they should call it Pain-zine, now with
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a little wax.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial don’t
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seem to think it’s that bad.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> That’s because their nerves are probably deadened from being so
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stupid. But hey, y'know if you don’t believe me, please, by my guest.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (Removing one of the strips) Ow-ow-ow-ow! Oh my God!!!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Now, are you glad we didn’t start with the bikini strips?</p>
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<p>[Scene: The Xerox Place, Ross is trying to break the trail.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering) Chloe? Hi.. </p>
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<p><b>Chloe:</b> Is this about me taking your watch?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> You took my watch?</p>
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<p><b>Chloe:</b> I’m sorry, I do that.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Just you keep it, listen did you, did you tell anyone about us?</p>
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<p><b>Chloe:</b> Oh no. I feel it isn’t really anybody’s business, y'know.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Exactly. So you didn’t, didn’t mention anything to Issac right?</p>
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<p><b>Chloe:</b> Oh, well I tell Issac everything.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> You tell, of course you do. Issac. Issac. Hey, Issac. Issac, hi! Y'know we
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haven’t actually met...</p>
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<p><b>Issac:</b> You dog!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yes, I suppose I am a dog. But Issac, see I-I happen to have a girlfriend.</p>
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<p><b>Issac:</b> Oh right, that Rachel chick from the coffee place.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, that’s the one. Listen, I don’t want to hurt her.</p>
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<p><b>Issac:</b> Oh, hey, man I know, doesn’t matter how much we love ‘em,
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monogamy is too cruel a rule.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah. Listen, can you keep this information to yourself?</p>
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<p><b>Issac:</b> Aw, no problem dude. Y'know we got to look out for each other. We’re
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the same, you and me.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Actually, no, we’re not.</p>
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<p><b>Issac:</b> Yeah, we are.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> No, we’re not.</p>
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<p><b>Issac:</b> Yeah, we are.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> No, we’re not!!</p>
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<p><b>Issac:</b> Okay, we’re not.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Right.</p>
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<p><b>Issac:</b> But, we are.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Fine. I just need to know that you’re not gonna tell your sister.</p>
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<p><b>Issac:</b> I can promise not to tell her again.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Phoebe’s Work, Ross is now trying to stop Jasmine from telling Phoebe.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering out of breath) Jasmine? </p>
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<p><b>Jasmine:</b> Uh-huh.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> We met at Phoebe’s birthday party, I’m, I’m Ross Geller.</p>
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<p><b>Jasmine:</b> You did a bad thing!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yes, I did.</p>
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<p><b>Jasmine:</b> Very bad!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Very bad.</p>
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<p><b>Jasmine:</b> Very, very bad.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I’m agreeing with you. Did you, listen, did you happen to tell Phoebe
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yet?</p>
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<p><b>Jasmine:</b> No.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, Jasmine, please, please don’t. I love my girlfriend very much,
|
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and I want more than anything to just work it out with her. Okay?</p>
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||
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<p><b>Jasmine:</b> All right.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Thank you, thank you.</p>
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<p><b>Jasmine:</b> But you should probably talk to my roommate, because I told him and he
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knows Phoebe too.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (angrily) Who’s your roommate?</p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is wiping down the counter as Ross rushes in.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didn’t say anything to
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Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.</p>
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<p><b>Gunther:</b> I’m sorry. Was I not supposed to?</p>
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<p>(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)</p>
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<p align="center"><b>Commercial Break</b></p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica’s Bedroom, Monica and Phoebe are removing the rest of their wax
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strips.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Ow!</p>
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||
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh!!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Ow!! Ow!!</p>
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||
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ow!!!</p>
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|
||
<p><b>Monica and Phoebe:</b> Ow!!!!!!! Ow-ow-ow-ow!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Hearing the screaming Chandler and Joey rush in. Joey has a pan, Chandler has a tea
|
||
kettle.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> We’re all right.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> It’s okay, it’s okay.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> We’re all right.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> We were just waxing our legs.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Off?!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> For your information, this happens to be a pain like no man will ever
|
||
experience.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, well I don’t think you can make that statement, unless
|
||
you’ve been kicked in an area that God only meant to be treated nicely.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, I-I think that women just have a lower threshold of pain than men,
|
||
that’s all. I mean, come on, it’s just a little wax.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh yeah, come here. (Puts a little wax on Joey’s arm and puts a
|
||
strip on it.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, that’s mature.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay, fine, so now what, I just pull it off?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Uh-huh.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> That’s right.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Joey laughs, pulls it off, then does a high-pitched whine.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is trying to close the door on Ross.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (forcing the door open) Come on, Rachel, come on! Talk to me! Please!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler slowly closes the door, and we hear Rachel from the
|
||
living room.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I can’t talk to you. I can’t even look at you right now!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Nothing, nothing.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (going over to listen at the door) Rachel said everything was okay.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (to Joey) What, what are they talking about?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Rachel?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Living Room]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Just get away from me!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No, it was a mistake! I made a mistake! Okay?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> A mistake?! What were you trying to put it in? Her purse?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica's bedroom]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Whe-where did he put it?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Living Room]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ross, you had sex with another woman!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica's bedroom, both Monica and Phoebe gasp.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh my God.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, I knew something had to be wrong, because my fingernails did not
|
||
grow at all yesterday.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, well, I guess they had a fight, and he got drunk....</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh!! (hits Chandler and Joey in the head) You guys knew about this and
|
||
you didn’t tell us?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (to Joey) He has sex, and we get hit in our heads.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Living Room]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (opening the door) Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here! </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Just get out! Now!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No!! No!! I wanna stay. I wanna talk about this.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay! All right! How was she?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica's bedroom]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Uh-oh.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Living Room]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Was she good?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica's bedroom]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Don’t answer that.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Living Room]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, let’s talk
|
||
about it!! How was she?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> She was...</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica's bedroom]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Awful! Horrible!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> She was not good. Not good.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> She was nothing compared to you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Living Room]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> She, she was different.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica's bedroom]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ewwwww!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Uh-oh.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Living Room]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Good different?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Nobody likes change.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Rachel picks up a newspaper and starts beating him with it.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What? Okay, okay, okay, okay.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica's bedroom]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Should we do something?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, never cheat on Rachel.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Living Room]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I’m sorry, okay, I’m sorry. I wa-I was disgusted with myself,
|
||
and this morning I was so, I was so upset and then I got your message and I was so happy,
|
||
and all I wanted was to get her out of my apartment as fast as possible.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Whoa!! Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. What time did your little friend
|
||
leave? (Ross can’t answer that) Oh my God. She was there? She was still there? She
|
||
was in there, when I was in there?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Ross hands Rachel back the newspaper, and she starts beating him with it again.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Listen. Oh hey, hey, the important thing was that she meant, she meant
|
||
nothing to me!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> And yet she was worth jeopardising our relationship!! </p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(She throws the paper at him, misses and hits Monica’s door, they all jump back at
|
||
the sound.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Look, I didn’t think there was a relationship to jeopardise. I
|
||
thought we were broken up. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> We were on a break!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> That, for all I knew would, could last forever. That to me is a break-up.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You think you’re gonna get out of this on a technicality?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Look, I’m not trying to get out of anything, okay. I thought our
|
||
relationship was dead!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, you sure had a hell of a time at the wake!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica's bedroom]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Y'know what, I don’t think we should listen to this anymore. (Goes to
|
||
open the door)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (stopping him) What, what are you doing? You can’t go out there.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Why not?! (to Chandler) I’m hungry.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Because they’ll know we’ve been listening.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Living Room]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> God! And to have to hear about it from Gunther!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Come on! Like I wanted him to tell you, I ran all over the place trying to
|
||
make sure that didn’t happen!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, that is so sweet. I think I’m falling in love with you all over
|
||
again.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica's bedroom]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Y'know what, I think we can go out there. I mean they have more
|
||
important things to worry about.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, we’ll be fine.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Living Room]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then
|
||
Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica's bedroom]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (handing Monica the wax) Wax the door shut, we’re never leaving,
|
||
ever.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Later, Phoebe is on the phone, they’re all still trapped in Monica’s
|
||
bedroom.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hi, it’s Phoebe. Listen someone’s gonna have to take my 9:00
|
||
with Mr. Rehack, ‘cause it’s like 9:15 now, and I’m not there.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Living Room]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Don’t you realise none of this would’ve ever happened if I
|
||
didn’t think at that same moment you weren’t having sex with Mark?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> All right. Let’s say I had slept with Mark. Would you have been
|
||
able to forgive me?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (pause) Yes I would.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You’d be okay if you knew that Mark had kissed me, and been naked
|
||
with me, and made love to me?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (less sure) Yes.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You knew that our hot, sweaty, writhing bodies were....</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (covering his ears and screaming) La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Okay,
|
||
okay, yeah, I would have been devastated but, I would still want to be with you. Because
|
||
it’s, I mean it’s you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica's bedroom]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>All:</b> Ohhhhh!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Later, Ross and Rachel are sitting in the kitchen.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What? Come on Rach, tell me what you’re thinking?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I’m thinking, I’m gonna order a pizza.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Order a pizza like, ‘I forgive you?’</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(She turns around and glares at him, he turns away.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica's bedroom]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh man, pizza? I like pizza. (makes like he is trying to send a telepathic
|
||
message to Rachel) Put olives on the pizza.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> We could eat the wax! It’s organic.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh great, food with hair on it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, not the used wax.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Because <b>that</b> would be crazy?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Living Room]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, can I, can I get in on that? Because I’m kinda hungry myself.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Fine. (on phone) Hi! Yes, I’d like to order a large pizza.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No anchovies.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> With ah, extra anchovies.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> That’s okay, I’ll just pick ‘em off.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, and could you please chop some up and just put it right there in
|
||
the sauce?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to later, they are finishing up the pizza, there’s one piece left.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> You can have the last piece, if you want.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, I should think so. You slept with someone.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica's bedroom, they’re all eating the wax, Chandler and Phoebe,
|
||
don’t like it. Joey tries some and makes a face like: ‘Hey, that’s not so
|
||
bad.’]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> They’re gonna get through this, aren’t they?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, come on, it’s Ross and Rachel, they’ve got too.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What if they don’t?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Long pause.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> You think I need a new walk?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well y'know, I’ve been walking the same way since high school.
|
||
Y'know, y'know how some guys they walk into a room and everybody takes notice. I think I
|
||
need a ‘take notice’ walk.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Are you actually saying these words?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Later, in the living room, Rachel is sitting on the couch, Ross is on the chair.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What, now you’re not even taking to me? (moves over to the coffee
|
||
table) Look Rachel, I-I’m sorry, okay, I’m sorry, I was out of my mind. I
|
||
thought I’d lost you, I didn’t know what to do. Come on! Come on, how insane
|
||
must I have been to do something like this? Huh? I-I don’t cheat right, I,
|
||
that’s not me, I’m not Joey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica's bedroom]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Whoa-ho-ho! (He looks at Chandler, who gives him a ‘come on’
|
||
look.) Yeah, okay.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey. It’s three in the morning. They don’t know that I’ve
|
||
come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, y'know, people can be so self-involved.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Living Room]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Y'know what, y'know what, I’m-I’m not the one that wanted that,
|
||
that break, okay. You’re the one that bailed on us. You’re the one that, that
|
||
ran when things got just a little rough!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> That’s....</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> That’s what?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> That is neither here nor there.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, well here we are. Now we’re in a tough spot again, Rach. What
|
||
do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do
|
||
you wanna bail? (sits down next to her) Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible,
|
||
stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And I’m sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I
|
||
can’t. (We see Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.) I just can’t see us
|
||
throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(He kisses her on her shoulder, then her neck, then the side of her face, then just
|
||
before he kisses her on the lips....)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No Ross!! (stands up and moves away from him) Don’t! You can’t
|
||
just kiss me and think you’re gonna make it all go away, okay? It doesn’t work
|
||
that way. It doesn’t just make it better. Okay?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, okay, okay.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (softly) I think you should go.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (softly) I really think you need to go now.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (moving over to stand in front of her) Okay, okay. This morning you said
|
||
there was nothing so big that we couldn’t work past it together...</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, what the hell did I know!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Look, look, there’s got to be a way we can work past this. Okay,
|
||
(takes a hold of one of her arms.) I can’t imagine, I can’t imagine my life
|
||
without you. (Both of them are starting to cry.) Without, without these arms, and your
|
||
face, and this heart. Your good heart Rach, (drops to his knees and hugs her around her
|
||
waist) and, and....</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (crying) No. I can’t, you’re a totally different person to me
|
||
now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now
|
||
I just can’t stop picturing with her, I can’t, (Ross stands up and backs away)
|
||
it doesn’t matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. It’s just changed,
|
||
everything. Forever.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[We see the rest of them are now crying.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (crying) Yeah, but this can’t be it, I mean.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Pause)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Then how come it is?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><b>Closing Credits</b></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica’s bedroom.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> They’ve been quiet for a long time.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Maybe she killed him?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Let’s go.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, the rest of them
|
||
can finally emerge from their cell. They all wave good bye, and start to walk quietly out,
|
||
as Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel. Joey starts walking all hunched over and
|
||
bobbing his shoulders as he goes.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (to Joey) Is that your new walk?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (whispering) No, I really have to pee.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><b>End</b></p>
|
||
|
||
|
||
</body></html> |