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<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
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<title>The One Where They're Gonna PARTY!</title>
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<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
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<body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" link="#008000" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
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<h1 align="center"><strong>The One Where They’re Gonna PARTY!</strong></h1>
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<hr>
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<p>Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen<br>
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Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
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<hr>
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<p>[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they
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bought for the catering business. It’s an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman
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riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.]</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Come on, no peeking! (They are leading the gang out with there hands
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over their eyes.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Our eyes are closed and we’re about to cross the street. Very
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good.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okayyyyy, open up! </p>
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<p>(They open their eyes and are stunned at the van.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What did you want to show us? Because all I can see is this <strong>bitchin'</strong>
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van!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, it’s for our catering business!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I think I know that girl.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> All right, umm, we’re not gonna really keep it this way though.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> No?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, we’re gonna paint over the sword, and replace it with a
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baguette. </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> And also, we don’t know what to do with this. (She turns on a
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switch and the girl’s nipples light up.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh yeah, I definitely know her.</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is all there.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (to Phoebe) Remember that guy from cooking school I told you about that
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put cilantro with everything?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh sure, Cilantro Larry.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, I’m gonna fill in for him as food critic for the Chelsea
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Reporter.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Wow, Monica! What an amazing opportunity to influence… dozens of
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people.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> How could you say yes, what about our catering business?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh no-no-no, it’s only one night a week, and plus I get to take all
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of you out for a <strong>lot</strong> of free dinners.</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Yay!!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, in that case—(hops up and down in joy)—Yay! (Monica looks
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confused) That was me hopping on board.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (entering) Hey, you guys! Hey, Ross, quick question for ya. Are you
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ready to party?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I don’t know, I could maybe go out for a couple of beers, but
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there’s this thing about bumblebees on <em>The Discovery Channel</em> that I was
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planning to watch.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> No-no, I don’t think you heard me. Are you ready to <strong>party</strong>?!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Nooo!! Gandolf?! Gandolf is coming to town?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Kathy’s with her parents, I have nothing to do, so tomorrow we
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are partying with Gandolf dude!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Dude, we are<strong> sooo</strong> gonna party!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wow! Okay, dude alert! And who is this guy?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Mike "Gandolf" Ganderson, only like the funest guy in the world.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I’m gonna call and get off work tomorrow!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I’m gonna call after you!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> This is gonna be soo cool, dude, we never party anymore!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler and Ross:</b> Woooo!!!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> All right, were you guys smoking something in the back of our van?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Really. And what do you mean you never have fun anymore? You have fun with
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me, remember that time we saw those strippers and you paid me 50 bucks to eat that book?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Joey, you are gonna love this guy. Gandolf is like the party wizard!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, why do you call him Gandolf?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Gandolf the wizard. (Joey is still confused) Hello! Didn’t you read <em>Lord
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of the Rings</em> in high school?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> No, I had sex in high school.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Rachel’s office, Rachel and Sophie are sitting at their desks working as
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Joanna walks in.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, uh, Joanna I was wondering if I could ask you something.
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There’s an opening for an assistant buyer in Junior Miss…</p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> (interrupting) Okay, but that would actually be a big step down for me.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, actually, I meant for me. The hiring committee is meeting people
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all day and…</p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> Oh. Well, I wish I could say no, but you can’t stay my assistant
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forever. Neither can you Sophie, but for different reasons.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> God, I am so glad you don’t have a problem with this, because if
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you did, I wouldn’t even <strong>consider</strong> applying.</p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> Really? Well, in that case…</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (interrupting) And that’s I’m so glad… there’s no
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problem.</p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> That’s fine, actually I’m on the hiring committee, so
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there’ll be at least one friendly face.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohh! That’s great!</p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> You know, Junior Miss is where I started. Oh, I had to sleep with the <strong>ugliest</strong>
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guy to get that job.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Really?!</p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> No-ho-ho! (pause) Yeah. (pause) I mean, no-no-no-no-no, don’t you
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worry, I’m sure with your qualifications you won’t need to sleep with some guy
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to get that job. Although, I might need some convincing.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, I, umm…</p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> Kidding! God, I feel wild today!</p>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is getting ready to party.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh man! I am so excited—I may vomit!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Will you calm down, he’s just a human guy.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Look you don’t understand, Gandolf is amazing. Y’know
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you’re never know what’s gonna end up happening, you go out for a couple of
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beers and end up on a fishing boat to Nova Scotia! </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Really?!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh yeah, it’s beautiful country up there.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering) Hey! Okay! I got my passport, fresh socks, and a snake bite
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kit!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> It’s not gonna be <strong>exactly</strong> like last time.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> All right, I’ll see you guys.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler and Ross:</b> Whoa-whoa-whoa!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Whoa-wh-wh-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I have an audition, but I’ll definitely hook up with you later. Where
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are you gonna be around noon?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Somewhere maybe along the equator?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay. (leaves as the phone rings)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (answering it) Hello. (listens) (to Ross) It’s Gandolf!!! (on
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phone) So, are you in town? (listens) (disappointed) Oh, well, well maybe next time then.
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(Hangs up)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What happened?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> He’s not gonna make it, he’s stuck in Chicago.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Ohh, man! Chicago, is sooo lucky!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Stupid, useless Canadian money!</p>
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<p>[Scene: <em>Bloomingdale’s</em>, Rachel is meeting with Mr. Posner, Mrs. Lynch,
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and Joanna the hiring committee.]</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Posner:</b> You have a very impressive resume, Ms. Green. I especially like what
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I see here about implementing a new filing system.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Thank you.</p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> Filing system? Oh-oh! You mean those-those little colored labels you put
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on all the folders? (to the committee) It certainly did brighten up the inside of the
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filing cabinets. </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, they uh, they-they do more than that.</p>
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<p><b>Mrs. Lynch:</b> I notice that you’ve been trusted with a lot of rather
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important responsibilities.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes, Joanna really has been an incredible mentor to me.</p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> Oh. And Rachel has been really incredible in getting my morning bagel
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for me. It’s amazing how she gets it right almost <strong>every</strong> time!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I-I-I of course, I have more responsibilities than that.</p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> Oh yes, well there’s the coffee too. (to the committee) Rachel can
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carry two things at once!</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Posner:</b> Yes, that’s very good. Now a uh, big part of this job is
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cultivating personal relationships, especially with designers.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes, I realize that…</p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> (interrupting) And Rachel shouldn’t have any problem with that. The
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only problem might be getting a little too friendly, if you know what I mean.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I love working with designers!</p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> With them, under them, what’s the difference? Eh, Rach?</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is there as Monica enters carrying a huge stack of
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newspapers.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey! My first review is out!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ohh! Oh, the Chelsea Reporter, ohh, this used to keep me so warm.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> All right, look at my on the back page.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, okay! (reading) "Would I go back to Allesandro’s? Sure,
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but I’d have to order two meals, one for me and one for the guy pointing the gun to
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my head." (to Monica) Wow! You really laid into this place.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey, they don’t pay me a penny a word to make friends.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ooh, I gotta go. I found a guy that who could fix up the van for
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catering.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh! Do you need me to go with you?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No-no, it’s okay. But are we sure we don’t want the waterbed?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Haven’t we made this decision?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, all right. (starts to leave)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Bye!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Bye!</p>
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<p>(The intercom buzzes.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (answering it) Who is it?</p>
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<p><b>Allesandro:</b> It’s Allesandro, from Allesandro’s.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh my God.</p>
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<p><b>Allesandro:</b> I want to talk to you about your review.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh my God, oh my God. (on intercom) Call me on the phone!</p>
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<p><b>Allesandro:</b> Why? So you could hang up on me?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Look, I-I’m never gonna let you up so you may as well just go away.</p>
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<p><b>Allesandro:</b> Just give me a chance too…</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (on intercom) Hey, do you need to get in? Here you go.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> No! Phoebe!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey, Monica!</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]</p>
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<p><b>Allesandro:</b> (entering) I want a retraction! Our food is <strong>not</strong>
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inedible swill!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I couldn’t eat it! I had five friends who couldn’t eat it, and
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one of them eats books.</p>
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<p><b>Allesandro:</b> Well our service is not grossly incompetent.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants!</p>
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<p><b>Allesandro:</b> Well, you said that we except the <em>Discover Card</em>, which we
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do not!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> All right, that I’ll retract. But I stand by my review, I know food
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and that wasn’t it. You’re marinara sauce tasted like tomato juice! You should
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serve it with vodka and a piece of celery. </p>
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<p><b>Allesandro:</b> Hey! I’m proud of that sauce, it’s delicious.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh my God! You own an Italian restaurant and you think that tastes
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good?! Where are you even from?</p>
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<p><b>Allesandro:</b> (shyly) Lebanon.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hand me those tomatoes, I’m gonna show you what it should taste
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like! Come on, hand me them.</p>
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<p><b>Allesandro:</b> How long is this gonna take? ‘Cause I got another critic to go
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yell at.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Rachel’s office, Rachel is confronting Joanna about her interview.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (entering Joanna’s office) Umm, Joanna? I wanna talk about that
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interview.</p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> I thought it went very well.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> No! It didn’t! That’s what I want to talk to you about.
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(starts to break up) Now, just to brief you… (starts to cry) I may cry, but they are
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not tears of sadness or of anger, but just of me having this discussion with you.</p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> Rachel, please, don’t make a scene.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> There’s nobody here!</p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> Sophie, get in here! (Sophie enters) You see! Now you’re making
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Sophie uncomfortable!</p>
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<p><b>Sophie:</b> She’s not making me uncomfortable.</p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> Congratulations! You now just crossed the line into completely useless.
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Get out. (Sophie starts to cry and leaves)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Do you want me to quit?</p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> What?! What would make you think that?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you
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believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Y’know what? <strong>I</strong>
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am just gonna pack up my desk, (She goes over to get all of her belongings from the desk,
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which amount to a muffin and a pen) and I will be gone by the end of the day! (Realizes
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she has nothing.) Well, I guess there’s no use to me sticking around ‘til the
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end of the day! (Starts to leave.)</p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> Wait-wait-wait-wait! You can put your sad little muffin back in
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it’s drawer. If you must know the truth, I didn’t want to lose a perfectly good
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assistant.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> That’s why I said all those things about your flirting and your
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drinking…</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> My drinking? </p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> Oh, I must’ve said that after you left.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Said what? Exactly.</p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> That you enjoyed the occasional drink…ing binge.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh my God!! Ohh, that is it! I’m leaving! You are just a horrible
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person!</p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If you’re gonna get all
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sensitive about it! I don’t want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you?
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I’ll make you an assistant buyer in this department.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Say more things like that.</p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> You can have your own office, and a raise! Effective tomorrow.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I’d need an expense account.</p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> Done!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> And an assistant.</p>
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<p><b>Joanna:</b> Sophie, get in here! (Sophie peeks in around the corner)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are watching TV as Joey enters.]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey! What are you guys doing here? I thought you’d be out partying
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with Gandel-worf.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> It’s Gandolf, and he’s not coming.</p>
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|
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<p><b>Joey:</b> So you’ve been sittin’ around here all mornin’?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No! I balanced my checkbook. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, and I-I gave first names to all of the foosball players.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I can’t believe he didn’t come!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> So what if he didn’t come! We can still go out and party ourselves!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh-no, y’know with Gandolf we’d be <strong>out</strong> all
|
||
night!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah! We’d meet, we’d meet total strangers, and hang out with
|
||
them!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, we could do that! </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> There’s other stuff too.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> We’ll do it all, and better! Look, after tonight, Gandolf will want
|
||
to party with us, dude! Come on!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah!! </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> It’s not like we don’t know how to party!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah! All right? Let’s go!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> And may-maybe we could end up on a boat again?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey and Ross:</b> Yeah!!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> All right!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (to Chandler) Hey-hey-hey, when uh, when were we on a boat?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Remember that really cold morning, you woke up and those dogs were
|
||
licking your face?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, those were seals, man.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is entering, excited.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey Mon, little question for ya! How do you think this suit will look on
|
||
an assistant buyer?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, the owner of Allesandro’s came over to yell at me, but
|
||
instead I made him some sauce, and he offered me the job as head chef!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh my God!! You just ruined the thing I was practicing the whole way
|
||
home, but I’m soo happy!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Can you believe it? I finally get to run my own kitchen!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohh, you’ve waited soo long. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (entering) Hey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey, Pheebs, quick question for ya.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> How do you think this suit would look on an assistant buyer at <em>Bloomingdale’s</em>?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I don’t know, it would totally depend on her coloring and…
|
||
(realizes) You got the job!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes!!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> You got the job?! Why didn’t you tell me?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohh, it’s gonna be so great! I’m gonna get to help decide what
|
||
we sell, I’m gonna have an office with walls and everything. (turns to Monica)
|
||
I’m gonna have walls!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, is this the day of good news or what? I got us a job! The wedding
|
||
reception.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel
|
||
excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from
|
||
catering.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> But we’ve only had one job.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I know, but now we have this second one and it just, it feels like
|
||
it’s snowballing, y’know?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah! What are you saying?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I got offered the head chef job at Allesandro’s.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> It’s okay, ‘cause y'know what? You don’t really need me
|
||
for the business.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You’re the cook! With out you it’s just me driving up to
|
||
people’s houses with empty trays and asking for money!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> All right. But umm, I-I-I’ll pay you back all the money you
|
||
invested, <strong>and</strong> you can keep the van.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> For what? I can’t believe this! I gotta get out of here. (leaves) </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Phoebe, wait a minute! (runs after her, leaving Rachel alone)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I’m an assistant buyer!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Ross, and Chandler are making a pit stop on their party
|
||
tour.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right, so we’ll get a little coffee, and get energized, and
|
||
we’ll head back out.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, all right.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> So, we’re having fun, right?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler and Ross:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> We don’t need that wizard guy. We hit a couple of clubs, talked to
|
||
some strangers, and uh, after this, we’ll head down to the docks and see about that
|
||
boat thing.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I’m kinda beat.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Actually, me too.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Are you serious?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler and Ross:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Thank God! I’m exhausted!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Gunther:</b> So you guys want coffees?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, but uh, I don’t want to be up too late, so uh, I’ll have a
|
||
decaf. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, me too.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Actually, can I get some hot water with a little lemon? I think I
|
||
strained my voice screaming in there. Does it have to be so loud?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I can’t hear a word you’re saying, my ears are ringing so bad.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I’m just glad I brought that extra pair of socks, y’know? I used
|
||
them as mittens, I didn’t want to touch a <strong>thing</strong> in that last place.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(pause)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> How sad are we?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, I know.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Y’know what? We’re not sad, we’re not sad, we’re
|
||
just not 21 anymore. Y’know? I’m 29 years old, damnit! And I want to sit in a
|
||
comfortable chair, and watch television and go to bed at a reasonable hour!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey and Ross:</b> Yeah!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah! And I like to hang out in a quiet place where I can talk to my
|
||
friends.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler and Ross:</b> Yeah!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> And so what if I like to go home, throw on some Kenny G, and take a bath!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> We’re 29, we’re not women.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, the next day, Phoebe is there.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (entering) Ohh, here you are. Y’know, I’m-I’m glad you
|
||
decided to hear me out.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, I’m hearing.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. A lot! And umm, well, I came up
|
||
with a whole bunch of businesses you can do with your van. Okay umm, you could be flower
|
||
delivery person.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Or! A bakery delivery person.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I wa-I wa-I wa…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Pizza?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Monica! </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> All right, I’ve got a whole bunch of uh-uh, stuff in this area, but
|
||
umm, I’m getting the feeling that you don’t want to deliver.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay. I’m guessing that if you don’t want to deliver, you
|
||
probably don’t want to pick stuff up either.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Y’know what, let’s do the catering business.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Really?! Are you sure?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah, y'know I-I made a commitment to you. Y’know what, it’d
|
||
be, it’d be fun.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh! It <strong>will</strong> be fun! Ohh! Yay! Oh! Okay, ooh, let’s
|
||
plan the wedding reception. (She grabs the notebook which Monica used for her ideas and
|
||
starts flipping page after page after page after page after page to find a blank one.)
|
||
Wow! You <strong>really</strong> wanted me to do something with this van. (pause)
|
||
Y’know what, I want you to take the chef job.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Really?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah. That’s what you really want. Yeah, I don’t want to be
|
||
the reason you’re unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I <strong>really</strong>
|
||
don’t want to be the reason I’m unhappy.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Thank you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Besides, it might be kinda fun to form the new A-Team.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Rachel’s office, she is coming in for the day carrying a picture for her
|
||
new office. Mrs. Lynch is coming out of Joanna’s office, carrying a box.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, hi Mrs. Lynch! Is Joanna in already?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mrs. Lynch:</b> Oh my goodness! You haven’t heard!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Heard what?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mrs. Lynch:</b> Joanna passed away last night.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh my God! How?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mrs. Lynch:</b> Well, she was leaving work and she was hit by a cab.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh my God! Oh, I cannot believe it!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mrs. Lynch:</b> I know!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, God. Oh, God. (gets worried) Oh God.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mrs. Lynch:</b> I didn’t realize that she was so close.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes, <strong>so</strong> close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an
|
||
emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any
|
||
paperwork your way before… it happened.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mrs. Lynch:</b> No. Nothing. Imagine, if she had just stepped off that curb a few
|
||
seconds later.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yes-yes, just a few seconds and she’d still be with us—nothing
|
||
about an assistant buyer?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mrs. Lynch:</b> (starting to cry) No, I’m sorry. I have to go. (She leaves as
|
||
Sophie arrives.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Sophie:</b> (happily) Good morning!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, Sophie, I guess you didn’t hear about Joanna…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Sophie:</b> I sure did! (smiles)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Closing Credits</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica’s new kitchen, Allesandro is introducing her to her new employees.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Allesandro:</b> I’m so excited about having Monica come on board with us.
|
||
Although I do feel bad about having fired chef Emillio, it’s like losing a member of
|
||
the family. Of course, that <strong>literally</strong> is the case for several of you.
|
||
Tony, Carlos, Marie, please, tell your father how much we’re gonna miss him. Now, I
|
||
know that Monica has a lot of great ideas for this place, well, you all read the review.
|
||
So without much further ado, I present to you our new head chef.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Umm, I just wanna say, uh (reads from a 3 X 5 card) that with a
|
||
pinch of exictement, a dash of hard work, a dollup of cooperation, we can have the
|
||
recipe... (Looks up and sees eveyone glaring at her) Are you gonna kill me?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
|
||
</body></html> |