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<title>The One With All the Kips</title>
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<h1 align="center">The One With All the Kips</h1>
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<hr>
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<p>Written by: Scott Silveri<br>
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Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
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<hr>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, 3:02 A.M., Chandler is up. There's a knock on the door and
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Chandler answers it.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (quietly) Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (quietly) Hi! (They both start kissing.)</p>
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<p>(Joey enters and Chandler pushes her away.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Monica? What time is it?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Uhh, 9. (He pushes the clock into the sink.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> But it's dark out.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Well that's because you always sleep to noon, silly! This is what 9
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looks like.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I guess I'll get washed up then. Watch that sunrise. (He goes into the
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bathroom.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I'm <b>really</b> getting tired of sneaking around.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I know, me too. Hey! Y'know what if we went away for a whole weekend?
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Y'know we'd have no interruptions and we could be naked the entire time.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> All weekend? That's a whole lotta naked.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, I can say that I have a conference and you can say you have a
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chef thing.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Ohh, I've always wanted to go to this culinary fair that they have in
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Jersey!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, y'know your not though. Let's go. (He starts for his bedroom.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Wait! What about Joey?</p>
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<p>(Chandler opens the bathroom door to reveal Joey passed out on the toilet with a
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toothbrush in his mouth.)</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are eating
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breakfast.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (entering from her room) Hey, guess what I'm doing this weekend! I'm
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going to this culinary fair in New Jersey.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh weird, Chandler just told us he's got a conference there!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh now that-that-that's funny, it seems like Chandler's conference
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could've been in Connecticut or Vermont.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I'm not in charge of where the conference is held. Do you want people
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to think it's a fake conference? It's a real conference.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering) Hey.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Is Rachel here? I gotta talk to her.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> No, she's out shopping.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Damn!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> What's going on?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I told Emily to come. And I just need to y'know, talk to Rachel about it.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wait a minute! So when Emily comes you're just, you're not gonna see
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Rachel anymore?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Well look, I'm just trying to focus on the "I get to see my
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wife," part, all right? And not the part that makes me do this. (He takes a big swig
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of <i>Pepto Bismol</i>.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Wow, so you guys are, you're never gonna be in the same room together?
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How is that even gonna work?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I have no idea. I mean<61> But-but I assure you I will figure it out.</p>
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<p>(They all reflect briefly on what was said.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Doesn<73>t seem like it's going to work, I mean<61></p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (entering) Hi, guys!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Uh, hey!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What's going on?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> We're flipping Monica's mattress.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> So I'm thinking, basically we pick it up and <b>then</b> we flip it.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah that's better than my way.</p>
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<p>(They all agree and head to Monica's room.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh okay, hey guys, would you flip mine too?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Aww, man! (They go into Monica's room.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (going through the mail) Oh look! A letter from my mom.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> So, Rach, y'know-y'know how Emily's coming right?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh yeah! I know.</p>
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<p>[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler is trying to listen through the door.]</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (To Chandler) Can you hear anything?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh yes, somebody just said, "Can you hear anything?"</p>
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<p>(Joey is bent over at the waist and is looking for something under Monica's bed.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey, Joey's ass! What are you doing?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (holding a box) Well, remember when they got in that big fight and broke
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up and we were all stuck in her with no food or anything? Well, when Ross said Rachel at
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the wedding, I figured it was gonna happen again, so I hid this in here.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Ooh, candy bars, crossword puzzles<65></p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ooh, <i>Madlibs</i>, mine! (Grabs it.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Condoms?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> You don't know how long we're gonna be in here! <b>We</b> may have to
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repopulate the Earth.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> And condoms are the way to do that?</p>
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<p>[Cut to the living room.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Anyway it-it kinda-it all boils down to this, the last time I talked to
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Emily<EFBFBD></p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (interrupting) Oh my God! My dog died!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What?!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh my God, Le Poo, our dog!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Le Poo's still alive?!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh God, it says he was hit by an ice cream truck and dragged for
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nine-(turns over the note)-teen blocks. Oh. (They all come out from Monica's bedroom) Oh
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my God.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Sweetie, we heard you crying. Please don't cry.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> It's Le Poo.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I know it's le poo right now, but it'll get better.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Atlantic City, New Jersey, Chandler and Monica are about to start their weekend
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of sex, sex, nothing but sex.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (jumping on the bed) I can't believe it! We're here!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Ooh, chocolates on the pillows! I love that!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, you should live with Joey, <i>Roll-os</i> everywhere.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Come here. (He does, and they kiss.) Okay, be right back. </p>
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<p>(Goes to the bathroom and Chandler turns on the TV and finds a high-speed police
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chase.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh yes! Monica, get in here! There's a high-speed car chase on!</p>
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<p>(Monica returns, carrying a glass.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> We're switching rooms.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (looks at what she's holding and shies away) Oh dear God, they gave us
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glasses!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> No, they gave us glasses with lipstick on them! I mean, if they didn't
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change the glasses, who knows what else they didn't change. (He glares at her.) Come on
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sweetie, I just want this weekend to be perfect, I mean we can change rooms, can't we?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, but let's do it now though, because Chopper 5 just lost it's
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feed! (He grabs their bags and sprints out.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is trying to tell Rachel about Emily's ultimatum again.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, so uh, y'know how there's something I wanted to talk to you about?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh yeah! (Turns to face him.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, y'know how I'm trying to work things out with Emily. Well, there's
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this one thing<6E> Okay, (Rachel has her back turned to the camera, and Ross isn't
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looking at her.) here goes. I made a promise that-(they cut to the other camera and Ross
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notices something coming out of Rachel's nose)-Oh hey!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> You're nose is bleeding!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh God. (He hands her some tissues.) No! Oh not again! (Wiping her
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nose.) This-this happened when my grandfather died. It's ugh! Sorry. (She puts her head
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back.) Oh, okay, so I'm sorry, what-what were you-what did you want to tell me?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Umm<6D> (Rachel blows her nose.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Sorry. Sorry.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, I uh, I can't see you anymore.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, I know. It's ridiculous! I can't see you either.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Monica's weekend, a hotel clerk is showing them their new room.]</p>
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<p><b>Hotel Clerk:</b> I think you'll find this room more to your liking.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, great. (He grabs the remote and turns on the TV to the chase.)</p>
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<p><b>Hotel Clerk:</b> (watching the chase) They say he's only got half a tank left.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Half a tank? We still got a lot of high-speed chasing to do!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> We're switching rooms again.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> What? Why?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> This is a garden view room, and we paid for an ocean view room.</p>
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<p><b>Hotel Clerk:</b> Our last ocean view room was unacceptable to you.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (To Chandler) Excuse me, umm, can I talk to you over here for just a
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second?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Uh-huh. (He doesn't take his eyes off the TV.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Chandler!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (turning to face her) Yeah.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Look, these clowns are trying to take us for a ride and I'm not gonna
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let 'em! And we're not a couple of suckers!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I hear ya, Mugsy! But look, all these rooms are fine okay? Can you
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just pick one so I can watch-(realizes)-have a perfect, magical weekend together with you.</p>
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<p>[Time lapse, Monica and Chandler have changed rooms yet again.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, <b>this</b> one I like!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (watching TV, in fact, ER is on.) Nothing! It's over! Dammit! This is
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regularly scheduled programming!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Can we turn the TV off? Okay? Do we really want to spend the entire
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weekend like this?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, I'm sorry, am I getting in the way of all the room switching fun?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey, don't blame me for wigging tonight!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, who should I blame? The nice bell man who had to drag out luggage
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to 10 different rooms?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I don't know, how about the idiot who thought he could drive from Albany
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to Canada on a half a tank of gas!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Do not speak ill of the dead.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> We're supposed to uh, be spending a romantic weekend together, it-it,
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what is the matter with you?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I just want to watch a little television. What is the big deal? Geez,
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relax mom.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> What did you say?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I said, "Geez, relax Monnnnn."</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading a magazine and has two tissues stuck up
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her nose in an attempt to stop the bleeding and as she hears Ross enter, she quickly hides
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her face behind the magazine and removes the tissues.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey. Rachel, I-I-I've been wanting to tell you something for a while now
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and I really, I just have to get it out.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, what's up?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, y'know how you told me I should do whatever it takes to fix my
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marriage?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, I told you to give Emily whatever she wants.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> And while that was good advice, you should know that what-what she
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wants<EFBFBD> </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> <20>is for me not to see you anymore.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> That's crazy! You can't do that! What are you going to tell her? (Pause)
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(Realizes) Oh God. Ohh, you already agreed to this, haven't you?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> It's awful I know, I mean, I feel terrible but I have to do this if I want
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my marriage to work. And I do, I have to make <b>this</b> marriage work. I have too. But
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the good thing is we can still see each other until she gets here.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohh! Lucky me! Oh my God! That <b>is</b> good news, Ross! I think that's
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the best news I've heard since Le Poo died!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> You have no idea what a nightmare this has been. This is so hard.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh yeah, really? Is it Ross? Yeah? Okay, well let me make this a just a
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little bit easier for you.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What are you doing?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Storming out!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Rachel, this is your apartment.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, well that's how mad I am!!</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is returning from his disastrous weekend. He
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throws his bag down and sits down on one of the leather chairs, but he sits on something
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and picks it up and throws it away.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Damn <i>Rollos</i>!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, you're back!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> How was your conference?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> It was terrible. I fought with (Pause) my colleagues y'know, the
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entire time. Are you kidding with this? (Throws away another <i>Rollo</i>)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, so your weekend was a total bust?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Uh, no, I got to see Donald Trump waiting for an elevator.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (entering) Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, you're back too!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah. Umm, Chandler can I talk to you outside for a second?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, how was your chef thing?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, it was awful. (To Chandler) I guess some people just don't
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appreciate really good food.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, maybe it was the kind of food that tasted good at first but then
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made everybody vomit and have diarrhea.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Chandler! (Motions for him to come outside.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Monica. (Follows her out.)</p>
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<p>[In the hall.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, I'd like to know how much the room was because I'd like to pay my
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half.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, fine, $300.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> 300 dollars?!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, just think of it as $25 per room!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Urghh!!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (sticking his head out the door) What are you guys woofing about?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Chandler stole a twenty from my purse!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Nooooo!!! Y'know what? Now that I think about it, I constantly find myself
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without twenties and <b>you</b> always have lots!</p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is drinking some <i>Alka-Seltzer</i>. The rest of the gang,
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minus Rachel is there as well.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> You should've seen the look on her face. I don't want Rachel to hate me! I
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don't know what to do.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> You want my advice?</p>
|
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|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yes! Please!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> You're not gonna like it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> That's okay.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> You got married to fast.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> That's not advice!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I told ya.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I'm going to the bathroom. (Gets up and exits.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Man, if anyone asked me to give up any of you, I couldn't do it.</p>
|
||
<b>
|
||
|
||
</b><p><b>Chandler and <b>Phoebe:</b> </b>Yeah, me either.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Maybe I could do it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (entering) Hi!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hi, Rach.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hi!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Look, I know you guys heard about the whole thing with me and Ross but
|
||
y'know, I've been obsessing about it all day and I'd just <b>love</b> not to talk about
|
||
it. All right?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I-I-I don't know if this falls under this category, but uh, Ross is right
|
||
back there. (Points over his shoulder.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> That's not Ross!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh no! Not that guy! He does look like him though.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, Ross is in the bathroom.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh my God, its happening. It's already started. I'm Kip.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, you're not Kip!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (To Joey) Do you even know who Kip is?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Who cares? You're Rachel! (To Chandler) Who's Kip?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Kip, my old roommate, y'know we all used to hang out together.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, that poor bastard.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> See? Yeah, you told me the story. He and Monica dated when they broke up
|
||
they couldn't even be in the same room together and you all promised that you would stay
|
||
his friend and what happened? He got phased out!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> You're not gonna be phased out!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, of course I am! It's not gonna happen to Ross! He's your brother.
|
||
(To Chandler) He's your old college roommate. Ugh, it was just a matter of time before
|
||
someone had to leave the group. I just always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ehh!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Honey, come on! You live far away! You're not related. You lift right
|
||
out.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching TV.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (entering) Hey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, Mr. Bing. That uh, hotel you stayed at called. Said someone left an
|
||
eyelash curler in your room.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes that was mine.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> 'Cause I figured you'd hooked up with some girl and she'd left it there.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes that would have made more sense.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Y'know, I-I don't even feel like I know you anymore man! All right, look,
|
||
I'm just gonna ask you this one time. And whatever you say, I'll believe ya. (Pause.) Were
|
||
you, or were you not on a gay cruise?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on couch and Rachel is getting some coffee.
|
||
Phoebe keeps turning her head from to keep from looking at Rachel.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Phoebe? (She turns her head further away.) I'm sorry about the whole
|
||
lifting out thing. (Moves over next to her.) You gotta come with me!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Come where?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Wherever I go. Come on you and me, we'll-we'll start a new group, we're
|
||
the best ones.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, but try and get Joey too.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering) Pheebs, you mind if I speak to Rachel alone for a sec?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, sure! (She gets up to leave.) Bye Ross! (Whispering behind his
|
||
back.) Forever.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hi.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi. What are you doing here? Isn't this against the rules?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I talked to Monica, look, I'm the one who made the choice. <b>I'm</b> the
|
||
one who's making things change, so I should be the one to y'know, step back.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, Ross<73></p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No, no, it's okay. Really. They're plenty of people who just see their
|
||
sisters at Thanksgiving and just see their college roommates at reunions and just see Joey
|
||
at <i>Burger King</i>. So is, is that better?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No, it's not better. I still don't get to see you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, what-what would you do? Rach, if you were me, what-what would you
|
||
do?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, for starters I would've said the right name at my wedding!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I can't believe this is happening.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I know.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I am so sorry.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I know that too.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (entering) (He clears his throat to get their attention.) Hey, Rach? Sorry
|
||
to interrupt but umm, Phoebe wanted me to talk to you about a trip or something.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is doing a crossword puzzle.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (entering) Hey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hi.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I just came over to drop off<66>nothing. So that weekend kinda
|
||
sucked, huh?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah, it did.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> So, I guess this is over.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, y'know, you and me, it had to end sometime.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Why, exactly?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Because of the weekend, we had a fight.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Chandler that's crazy! If you give up every time you'd have a fight with
|
||
someone you'd never be with anyone longer than<61>Ohhh! (They both realize something
|
||
there.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> So, this isn't over?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (laughs) You are so cute! No. No, it was a fight. You deal with it and
|
||
move on! It's nothing to freak out about.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Really? Okay. Great!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Ohh, welcome to an adult relationship! (She goes to kiss him.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (stops her) We're in a relationship?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I'm afraid so.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(They kiss.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are there as Phoebe
|
||
enters.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh hey, Monica, I heard you saw Donald Trump at your convention.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah, I saw him waiting for an elevator.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Joey thinks that sounds familiar, but dismisses the thought.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey, Rach, can I borrow your eyelash curler, I think I lost mine.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, it's in there. (Points to the bathroom.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Joey puts two and two together.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (shocked) Oh! Ohh! Oh!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Joey, can I talk to you for a second? (He grabs him and starts to drag
|
||
Joey into Monica's room.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oohh!! Ohh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Chandler pushes him through the door and Monica closes it behind them.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Monica's room, Chandler tackles Joey onto her bed and tries to cover his
|
||
mouth.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ohhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes. Yes. (Lets him up.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (To Chandler) You?! (To Monica) And-and you?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yes, but you cannot tell anyone! No one knows!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> How?! When?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> It happened in London.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> <b>IN LONDON!!!</b></p><b>
|
||
</b>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a
|
||
big deal out of it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone! </p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(They both grab him and stop him.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No-no-no-no-no! You can't!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay?
|
||
Just promise you won't tell.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Joey thinks it over.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right! Man, this is unbelievable! I mean, it's <b>great</b>, but<75></p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I know, it's great!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(She goes over and kisses Chandler.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Aww, I don't want to see that!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> We're so stupid! Do you know what's going on in there? They're trying to
|
||
take Joey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Ending Credits</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, minus Ross are playing <i>Madlibs</i>. Phoebe is
|
||
reading hers.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> The most popular Phoebe in tennis is called the overhand Phoebe. And if
|
||
you win, you must slap your opponent on the Phoebe and say, "Hi, Phoebe!"</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh that's cute! We really all enjoyed it. But y'know, it doesn't count.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Count for what?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Count in our heads as-as good <i>Madlibs</i>.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(They putting their notepads down and get up to leave.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I guess I'm done.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Fun's over!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Wait-wait, guys! If-if we follow the rules, it's still fun and it means
|
||
something!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Uh-huh!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I think I'm gonna take-off.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Guys, rules are good! Rules help control the fun! (They all leave and
|
||
close the door on Monica.) Ohhh! (Throws her notepad down in disgust.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<hr>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><!--webbot bot="ImageMap" startspan
|
||
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|
||
rectangle=" (68,1) (127, 80) http://thecfsi.com/season5.htm"
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|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
</body></html> |