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<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
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<title>The One With Joey's New Girlfriend</title>
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<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
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<body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" link="#008000" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
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<h1 align="center">The One With Joey's New Girlfriend</h1>
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<hr>
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<p>Written by: Michael Curtis & Gregory S. Malins<br>
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Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
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<hr>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, the gang's all there. Ross has a slip of paper that he throws on
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the ground tying to get Rachel's attention.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (picking up the slip of paper) Hello! What's this? Oh right its that
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girl's phone number. (Rachel ignores him) Yeah-yeah, there it is, just a phone number a
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really hot girl gave me. (He holds it so that Rachel can see it, she continues to ignore
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him) It's no big deal, I mean it is her home phone number, but...(Rachel still ignores
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him) Whoa! (Throws it in her lap) Whoa-whoops, I almost lost this baby! Yeah, the lovely
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Amanda gives me her number and I-I go and drop it. (He waves it in front of Rachel's face.
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Then suddenly Phoebe has to sneeze and Rachel quickly grabs the slip of paper and gives it
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to Phoebe for her to sneeze into.)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Thank you.</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, the next morning. Chandler, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are there.]</p>
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<p><b>Gunther:</b> Rachel?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah?</p>
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<p><b>Gunther:</b> When's your birthday?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> May fifth, why?</p>
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<p><b>Gunther:</b> Oh, I-I'm just making a list of people's birthdays.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, mine's December...</p>
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<p><b>Gunther:</b> Yeah, whatever. (Walks away)</p>
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<p>(Chandler is talking to Monica and notices a beautiful woman.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Ohh, she's pretty. Pretty ahh, pretty girl, the pretty--she's pretty.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Just go up to her and ask her out. (Chandler laughs) Oh, what's the
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worst thing that could happen?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I could die.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, it's-it's tough being single. That's why I'm so glad I found Amanda.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ross, you guys went out once. You took your kids to <em>Chucky Cheese</em>,
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and you didn't even kiss her.</p>
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<p>(Ross glares at Chandler.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I tell people secrets. It makes them like me.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (entering) Oh.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey! (Phoebe sneezes)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Phoebe! You're sick, you shouldn't play. You should just go home, get in
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bed, and stay there.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (in a nasally voice, from her cold) But I'm unemployed, my music is all
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I really have now. Well music, and making my own shoes. (She puts her shoe on the table,
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and it's horribly decorated) Pretty, huh? (Sneezes)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> All right, I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna get shot down. Any advice?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Just be yourself. But, not too much.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (gets up) (softly) Wish me luck.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (loudly) Good luck!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Wish it! (To the woman, Kathy, he likes) Hi. Hi, I-I was just sitting
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over there, and uhh, Chandler. My name is Chandler. Did I say that?</p>
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<p><b>Kathy:</b> No, you didn't. Hi, I'm Kathy.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Uh Kathy, with K or a C?</p>
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<p><b>Kathy:</b> With a K.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh-oh-hey!</p>
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<p><b>Kathy:</b> Wow! You are really good at this.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, come on, give me a break, I'm out on a limb here.</p>
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<p><b>Kathy:</b> I'm sorry, you're right, I apologize, but I should tell you that I'm
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waiting for a date. (Joey enters) Oh, and there he is now.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey! Hey, hey-hey, hey. (Joey kisses Kathy.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, I see you guys already met, huh?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes-yes, I was just trying to figure out a way to uh, demonstrate how
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I could get my exceptionally large feet into my even bigger mouth.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Didn't I tell ya? Always showin' off.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Before I start, I just wanna say that umm, I have a cold, so if I sneeze
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in the middle of song, it's not on purpose. Oh, except the last verse of Pepper People.
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(Starts to sing) <em>Smelly cat, smelly cat. What are they feeding you?</em> (Stops
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singing) This chick sounds good. (Singing) <em>Smelly cat, smelly</em>--(stops singing)
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Hey Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is walking into the living room having just
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gotten up in the middle of the night.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (sees Kathy is up watching TV) Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Kathy:</b> Hi.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Jeez, at 2:30 in the morning, I didn't expect to have to fight over
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the remote.</p>
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<p><b>Kathy:</b> I'm sorry, it's just this Ernie Cofax thing on in a few minutes I wanted
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to watch.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh my God! That's why I got up too!</p>
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<p><b>Kathy:</b> You're kidding! Oh, I love him.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, listen, I'm sorry about this afternoon, y'know, if I would've
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known you guys were... I never would've...</p>
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<p><b>Kathy:</b> Oh please!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> So ah, Joey tells me you two met in acting class.</p>
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<p><b>Kathy:</b> Yeah, they teamed us up as partners. Joey picked three scenes for us to
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do; all of them had us making out.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> That's a good thing actually, because ah, he used to have me rehearse
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with him.</p>
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<p><b>Kathy:</b> (laughs) Oh-oh-oh-oh!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Is it on?</p>
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<p><b>Kathy:</b> No, but this wonder broom is amazing!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey! (Runs over and gets his wonder broom)</p>
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<p><b>Kathy:</b> Oh my God!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh! It's on! It's on!</p>
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<p>(Chandler jumps into the canoe and sits down. The chick starts chirping and Chandler
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reaches down to pick him up.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> There we go little fella.</p>
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<p><b>Kathy:</b> (laughs) What about the duck?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well the duck can swim.</p>
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<p><b>Kathy:</b> Oh, jeez. (Hits him)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, the next night, Phoebe is finishing up her set.]</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (singing, drunk) <em>My sticky shoes, my sticky-sticky shoes, why do you
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stick on me, ba-a-by!</em> Thanks for the lights honey. </p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Way to go, Phoebe!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> That cold makes you sound so great.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> It's fun, God I love how sexy I am. (Coughs really loudly.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, Kath, we should get going. We're going to by hamsters.</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Ooh, that's great, I love those little guys.</p>
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<p><b>Kathy:</b> No, no, it's not like that. I, I work for a medical researcher.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, have fun!</p>
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<p><b>Kathy:</b> Okay.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well, I think it's great that the medical community is finally trying to
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help sick hamsters.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Y'know what, I like Kathy.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh yeah, me too, she's so cool and pretty.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, she's...</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> She's smart and funny, y'know? We were up all last night talking, she
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said the funniest thing about--what? </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> You love her.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> No, I don't.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yes, you do. Chandler loves Kathy.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Come on, Pheebs lay off him.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Thank you, Ross.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, he's a little sensitive right now, `cause he's so in love.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> All right.</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Ohh!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> All right.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (turning around and doing that, "I'm making out with someone,"
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thing with her hands) Ooh, umm, oh Kathy! Kathy, I love you! Oh! (She turns around and
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sees Gunther staring at her and stops suddenly.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are there.]</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> So, I need to write some depressing stuff to go along with my new floozy
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voice, but nothing that sad has ever really happened to me.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh umm, how about your mom dying, or having to live on the streets when
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you were 14?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Uh-huh. Oh, yeah, I could write about the time my hair did that
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"Woo-hoo" thing.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering) Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (loudly) So I'm going over to Amanda's tonight!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Rachel's not here.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> How's it going with her?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Great, actually. I'm thinking tonight, maybe the night. Yeah, I mean ah,
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the kids are gonna play together and then when they're asleep, I'm thinking Amanda and I
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break open a bottle of wine, and do a little "playing" ourselves.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (entering, with a guy) Hi guys! This is Josh. Josh, these are my
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friends, and that's Ross.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hi, Josh.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hi.</p>
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<p><b>Josh:</b> Dudes.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> So, did you play in college? (She points to his NYU Soccer (football for
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the rest of the world) sweatshirt he's wearing.)</p>
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<p><b>Josh:</b> Oh, I still do. Next year, I hope to make varsity though.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ross, didn't you ah, play soccer in High School? Oh no wait, that's
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right. You just organized their game schedules on your Commodore 64.</p>
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<p><b>Josh:</b> Well, it's getting late, I've got to get to the game, so I'm gonna...
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head.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay. (He starts to leave, and Rachel grabs him and gives him a
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passionate kiss.) I'll miss you.</p>
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<p><b>Josh:</b> Dope! (exits)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wow, cute one!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Very!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I know, isn't he great? It's so nice to finally be in a fun
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relationship, y'know? There's nothing boring about him, and ah, I bet he's never set foot
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in a museum.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Well maybe he'll get to go soon, like on a class trip or something.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Y'know what else is really great about him, oh, what is the word for the
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adult that doesn't have dinosaur toys in their bedroom?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh! (He bangs his fists together.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What was that?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Monica knows.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our
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parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I
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cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was
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actually cooler than my older brother.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, I'm gonna go get ready, (Gives Monica the fist thing.) for my date
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tonight, so ah, I'll just_ head.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, I should go to, `cause I'm playing in one hour. Hey, (clears her
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voice and in her normal voice) you guys should come hear me, ooh hear me. Ooh, (tries to
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sing) <em>My sticky shoes</em>--eww! Eww! I lost my sexy phlegm!</p>
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<p>[Scene: Amanda's apartment, Ross is arriving with Ben.]</p>
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<p><b>Amanda:</b> (opening the door) Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Amanda:</b> Hi Ben!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Wow! You-you look great!</p>
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<p><b>Amanda:</b> Thanks!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (she lets him in) Okay! (to her son) Hey Tommy.</p>
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<p><b>Amanda:</b> I am so glad that you could come over tonight.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh no-no-no, it's my pleasure.</p>
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<p><b>Amanda:</b> Okay, well, my cell phone number is right here on the counter, please
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help yourself to anything in the fridge.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Amanda:</b> I appreciate this soo much, I've been trying to go out with this guy for
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like a month.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I-I-I...</p>
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<p><b>Amanda:</b> (noticing the bottle of wine he has) Oh, I don't mean to be a square,
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but I'd really appreciate it if you wait and drink your wine after the kids are asleep? Oh
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uh, thanks for this, I hope I can do the same for you sometime. (She leaves)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Who wants to make some long distance calls?</p>
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<p>[Scene: A street, Chandler is buying a newspaper and notices Kathy running by.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Kathy! Kathy! Hi!! Kathy! Kathy! (She doesn't hear him and keeps
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running, Chandler starts chasing her as the theme to <em>The Mod Squad</em> starts to
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play. First, a car almost hits him and then gets mustard splashed on him as he runs by a
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hot dog vendor.) Kathy! (He keeps running and gets tangled up in the leashes of five dogs,
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in desperation he throws his paper.) Fetch! Fetch it! (He frees himself and resumes the
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chase) Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! (He now trips and falls into a pile of garbage, he tries to
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get up and scream her name again but he has a piece of spinach in his mouth. He gets out
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of the garbage and starts crossing the street by running over the hoods of a couple of
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cabs.) Kathy! (He jumps in front of her and out of breath he says) Kathy.</p>
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<p><b>Kathy:</b> Hey, Chandler! What are you doing here?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, I just wanted to say, "Hey!"</p>
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<p><b>Kathy:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay. (He walks away disgusted with himself.)</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Monica about his new baby sitting job.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh come on! You're making it sound worse than it actually was.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Her date tipped me ten dollars. (Monica laughs)</p>
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<p>(Phoebe runs into the kitchen with wet hair, opens the window, and sticks her head
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outside.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Pheebs, what are you doing?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, I wanna be sexy again so I'm trying to catch a cold. It should be
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easy, supposedly they're pretty common.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Phoebe, you'll catch pneumonia.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (entering) Okay. You were right. I'm in love with Joey's girlfriend.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What?!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Are you serious?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well, how-how-how is that possible? You barely know her!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I don't know. I can't--I just, I can't get her out of my head. Y'know?
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I mean, I'm a very bad person. I'm a very, very bad person. I'm a horrible person. (he
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waits for a reaction, when he doesn't get one) No you're not Chandler! We still love you
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Chandler!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (sneezes) Oh gosh, Phoebe, I think I caught your cold.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You mean you stole it! (Monica sneezes again) Don't cover your mouth
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when you do that!</p>
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<p>(Joey and Kathy enter, laughing)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey.</p>
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<p><b>Kathy:</b> (to Chandler) We were just talking about you.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Really?!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah-yeah, I told her about the time you got drunk and fell asleep with
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your head in the toilet.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (laughs) Right in there!</p>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with the chick and
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the duck.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> 99...100! Ready or not, here I come! (He opens his eyes and sees that
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the chick and the duck are still sitting in front of him) All right, let's go over the
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concept one more time.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (entering) Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey guys. (to Chandler) Listen uh, you wanna get some dinner with me and
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Kathy tonight?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Ohh, umm, y'know what, I already ate.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> It's 4:30.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Y'know I had a big meal on Monday, y'know. So that's just gonna get me
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straight through the week.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay, I see what's going on here.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> You-you do?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah! You don't like Kathy.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> You got me.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, you've been avoiding her ever since we started going out. Look, I
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made an <strong>effort</strong> to like Janice, now I think it's your turn to make an
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effort to like Kathy by going out to dinner with us. Right?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah. Right.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Good, and hey! My treat. (He turns to go into his bedroom then stops.) But
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that's only because you're not eating anything, right?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is returning from a date with Josh, and when they
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get the door open, Rachel turns and passionately kisses Josh.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (lying on the couch suffering from her cold) Ross isn't here.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh. (She tries to walk away from Josh, by he keeps holding her) Stop it!</p>
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<p><b>Josh:</b> So I'll see you at the party? Beer's beer man, 24, 7!!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah! (Monica gives a sarcastic thumbs up) (Josh leaves) I am soo gonna
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marry that guy. (looking in her wallet) Ohhh!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I think he's stealing from me.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Why?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Because he's stealing from me!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (entering) Hi! It's me. And soup. (to Rachel) Hey, I just saw Josh, he
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looks so yummy in your leather jacket.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ughh! (Storms out after him)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (to Monica) Here, now I don't eat chicken, so it's just noodle soup. And
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there's no chicken in the broth either, so it's really just... noodle water. </p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Thank you so much Phoebe.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (picking up Monica's used Kleenex and putting some in her pocket.) Sure.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> What are you doing with those?!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> But, I need your germs! I want my cold back! I miss my sexy voice.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Sorry, Phoebe.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> It's okay. How's the soup?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Umm. (nodding her head, "Good.")</p>
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<p>(Monica sets the soup down and Phoebe picks it up and licks the rim.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Ohhhh!! Gross!!</p>
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<p>[Scene: A nightclub, Chandler is having dinner with Kathy and Joey.]</p>
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<p><b>Kathy:</b> Ohh, God, guys, check it out, you can see that girl's underwear!</p>
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|
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Is she great or what?</p>
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<p><b>Kathy:</b> (to Chandler) So? Huh? What do you think?</p>
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|
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Ohh, she's-she's not really my type.</p>
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<p><b>Kathy:</b> Not your type?! She's gorgeous!</p>
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|
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Y'know what I think it is? It's the fishnet stockings. Y'know?
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|
Whenever I see a girl in fishnet stockings it reminds me of my father in fishnet
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|
stockings.</p>
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|
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<p><b>Kathy:</b> Okay. Understanding a little more why you're single. Ohh! Y'know, I have
|
|
a friend you would like, she's really pretty. And then we could double date!</p>
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|
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Uhh, no-no thanks.</p>
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<p><b>Kathy:</b> Okay, I've got some ugly friends, and they're all available too.</p>
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|
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Listen, I-I'm gonna grab a beer. (Leaves)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (to Kathy) I'll be right back. (to Chandler) What was that?</p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What?</p>
|
|
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Kathy was being really nice and you just walked away. I thought we had a
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|
deal.</p>
|
|
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, look, what do you want from me?</p>
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|
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|
<p><b>Joey:</b> I want you to like her! But if that's too damned difficult for you, then
|
|
the least you can do is pretend.</p>
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|
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I am pretending.</p>
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|
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Well then, do it better!</p>
|
|
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her?
|
|
(Joey gives him a thumbs up) No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking
|
|
about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm
|
|
so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every
|
|
minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her
|
|
first!!</p>
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|
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, that's pretty good. But you might wanna tone it down a little.</p>
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|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are there.]</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering) Hey! So, uhh, Amanda just-just dropped me off. Yeah, that's one
|
|
of the things I love about her, she's...uh, she's old enough to drive. (to Monica) So uhh,
|
|
I guess you're not going to mom and dad's tonight?</p>
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|
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<p><b>Monica:</b> No, sorry.</p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well where's Amanda?</p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey Rach, could you get me some cough drops?</p>
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|
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|
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I mean y'know, I'm thinking. You could bring her, and you guys could go
|
|
up to your old room, and not make out.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Monica:</b> Ross, cough drops, please?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Ross:</b> At least I know she's not going out with me to get into R rated movies.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Why don't you just marry her? Oh no, wait a minute you can't, I'm sorry
|
|
I forgot, she's not a lesbian.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Ross:</b> You see Amanda and I have a very special...</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Monica:</b> (interrupting) You have nothing! You're not even going out! You're her
|
|
baby sitter! You have a 12-year-old girl's job!</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (laughing) Ohh, that is soo sad.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Monica:</b> And what are you laughing at, Miss
|
|
`My-keg-sucking-boyfriend-is-stealing-from-me!'</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Ross starts laughing)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey, so he stole a couple bucks from me! At least he bought me something
|
|
with it! (Shows her, her ring)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Monica:</b> That's mine!! Now, would you both please start acting like adults? And
|
|
get me my cough drops!</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Ross:</b> Fine.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Sorry.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Ross:</b> Here. (Hands her, her cough drops) (to Rachel) At least I made ten bucks
|
|
in my relationship.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Y'know...</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(She does Ross's little gesture. In response Ross puts his hands behind his neck with
|
|
his arms sticking straight out and starts flapping them together.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with her guitar.]</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (singing) <em>Platting goats are platting. Platting down the street.
|
|
Platting goats are platting, leaving little treats</em>. (to Gunther) Does it even work
|
|
without my sexy voice?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Gunther:</b> I like it. (sneezes)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Gunther, kiss me.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Gunther:</b> What?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Phoebe grabs Gunther and kisses him. He then falls to the couch in shock.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching TV as Joey and Kathy are laughing in
|
|
Joey's bedroom. They get to be pretty loud so Chandler turns the TV way up.]</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Joey:</b> (opening the door wearing nothing but a sock, and holding a dart board
|
|
over the `Little General.') Hey! (Chandler turns down the TV) Now, we're not actually
|
|
gonna be sleeping in her, but do you mind?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, with a blanket draped over her shoulders, opens
|
|
the door to a similarly clad Chandler.]</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Can I sleep on your couch?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Monica nods `Yes.' And they both walk to the couch looking all depressed.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p align="center"><strong>Closing Credits</strong></p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing, with everyone else present.]</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (singing) <em>And I'm still waiting for my paper mache man</em>. Thank
|
|
you my babies.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(applause)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Gunther:</b> Rachel?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Gunther:</b> I don't know if you heard about what happened between me and Phoebe the
|
|
other day_</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No!</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Gunther:</b> Well, we kissed. I-I-I didn't initiate the kiss, but-but I also didn't
|
|
stop it, and I've been feeling guilty.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (confused) Okay.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Gunther:</b> So umm, are we cool?</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (really confused) Okay.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Gunther:</b> I knew you'd understand.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Gunther walks away, leaving Rachel with a `What just happened?' look on her face.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
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</body></html> |