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<!-- saved from url=(0055)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season7/701towmt.htm -->
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<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
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<title>The One With Monica’s Thunder</title>
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<meta name="GENERATOR" content="Microsoft FrontPage 4.0">
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<meta name="Template" content="C:\Program Files\Microsoft Office\Templates\FRIENDS.dot">
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<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
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<body bgcolor="#FFFFFF" link="#008000" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
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<h1 align="center">The One With Monica’s Thunder</h1>
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<hr>
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<p>Teleplay by: David Crane & Marta Kauffman<br>
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Story by: Wil Calhoun<br>
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Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
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<hr>
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<p>[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are standing
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around the table drinking champagne as Ross enters.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, what’s going on?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I found a note on my door, "Come to Monica’s quick, bring
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champagne and a <i>Three Musketeers</i> bar."</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (grabbing the candy bar) Yeah I’ll take that.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What’s up?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Monica and I are engaged.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh my God. (Hugs Chandler.) Congratulations.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Thanks.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Where is she?</p>
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<p>[Cut to Monica out on the balcony.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (yelling at the top of her lungs) I’m engaged!!!!!! I’m
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engaged!!!!</p>
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<p>[Cut back inside.]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, she’s been out there for twenty minutes, I’m surprised you
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didn’t hear her on the way over.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, I thought it was just a kid yelling, "I’m gay! I’m
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gay!" Can I bring her in?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh no, let her stay out there. It’s sweet.</p>
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<p>[Cut to Monica.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I’m getting married!!!! I’m gonna be a bride!!!! (Someone else
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yells at her.) No, I will not shut up because I’m engaged! (He yells again.) Ohh, big
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talk! Huh, why don’t you come over here and say that to me?! Huh, buddy?! Yeah, my
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fiancée will kick your ass! (Chandler starts to look worried.) Come on, apartment 20!
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Apartment 20!</p>
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<p>[Cut back inside.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (To Ross) Okay, you get her in here. (To Joey) You bolt the door.
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I’ll be in the closet.</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, continued from earlier, everyone is now in the
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living room drinking champagne.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay! Wait-wait-wait! Shhh! (Bangs on her class with a spoon to make a
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toast.) Okay, umm, I just wanna say that…I love you guys so-so much and-and thank you
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for being here on my special night. (Chandler clears his throat.) Our special night. I
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mean it just wouldn’t be my—our-our night, if you all weren’t here to
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celebrate with me—us—Damnit!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> It’s okay, I want this to be your night too. (Raises his class.)
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To Monica.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Awww, come on—wait—stop it. Okay, to Monica.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> To Monica!</p>
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<p>(They all say to Monica, clink their glasses, and drink.)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> So have you decided on a band for the wedding? Because, y’know,
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I’m kinda musical.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah Pheebs, honey, she just got engaged a couple of hours ago. I doubt
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she’s even had time to…</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well speaking of chiming in, remember the time you burned down my
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apartment?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (To Monica) Yeah, you’re on your own.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Y’know what we should do? We should all get dressed up and go to
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have champagne at <i>The Plaza</i>.</p>
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<p>(They all agree and start to go and get ready.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> But I-I-I can’t stay too long, I gotta get up early for a commercial
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audition tomorrow and I gotta look good. I’m supposed to be playing a 19-year-old.
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(Everyone stops in their tracks upon hearing this.) What?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> So when you said, "Get up early," did you mean 1986?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> You guys don’t think I look 19?</p>
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<p>(A brief silence ensues.)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, 19! We thought you said 90!</p>
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<p>(They all politely laugh and stop just as quickly.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay everybody, let’s go! Let’s go!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay.</p>
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<p>(They all leave and Joey comes back in quickly.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (To Phoebe) Hey, is uh the rest of my candy bar around here?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh honey no, you ate it all.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I was afraid of that. </p>
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<p>(Walks out and after he closes the door Phoebe turns around and takes a bite out of
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what is left of his candy bar.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s bedroom, they’re getting ready.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (looking at her hand) Y’know what shoes would look great with this
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ring? Diamond shoes! (Sees Chandler sitting on the bed.) You’re not getting dressed.
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(Chandler quietly folds over the comforter on the bed making a spot for her.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Know what I mean?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Yeah, but I don’t think we have time.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> There’s gonna be a wedding. You’re gonna be the bride. Two
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hundred people are going to be looking at you in a clean white dress.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (lustily) Let’s do it! (She kisses him and they fall back onto the
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bed.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, time lapse, Chandler is fully dressed and
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slowly walking out of the bedroom with a distressed look on his face.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (chasing after him) Chandler! It happens to lots of guys! You-you-you
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were probably tired, you had a lot of champagne, don’t worry about it!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (motioning with his hands) I’m not worried, I’m uh, I’m
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fascinated. Y’know it’s like uh, Biology! Which is funny because in high school
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I uh, I-I failed Biology and tonight Biology failed me. (Exits as Phoebe enters from her
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room with her guitar.)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Check it out. Okay, I can play this when the guests are coming in. Okay.
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(Singing) <i></i></p><i>
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<blockquote>
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<blockquote>
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<p>"First time I met Chandler, I thought he was gay.<br>
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But here I am singing on his wedding day!"</p>
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</blockquote>
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</blockquote>
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</i>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Phoebe!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> If you would’ve let me finish, it goes on to say that he’s
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probably not gay.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is looking at the foosball table.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Sure, you guys don’t have this problem, you’re made of wood.
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(Rachel comes out of the bathroom) Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> You look great!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (quietly) Oh, thanks.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> You okay over there?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I don’t know, y’know? I feel a little umm… No,
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y’know what? Never mind, I’m gonna be fine.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, don’t worry about it I mean you probably were tired, you had
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a lot of champagne, it happens to everybody.</p>
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<p>[Rachel exits into the hallway just as Ross is coming up the stairs.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Wow! Happy Monica’s night!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well thank you, you too.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Thanks.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey, do you believe this? Do you believe they are actually getting
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married?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Well sure. But I get married all the time so…</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh…</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> You okay?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, I guess. I-I… I mean, do-do you think we’re ever gonna
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have that?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> You mean, we—you and me?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh no-no-no-no-no, no, no! We, you with someone and me with someone.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh good, you scared me for a minute.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Shake it off.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I mean—no, it’s just ‘cause, it’s just ’cause you
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and I were like a nightmare. (Screams.) No, but there was some good times.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> No, absolutely. Y’know like it was umm…</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Surely you can think of something good.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, just give me a minute! (Thinking) Oh well, yes, I can think of one
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good thing.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well you uh, you were always really good at the uh, at the uh the stuff.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah? I was good at the stuff huh?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Uh-hmm, uh-hmm, yeah, yeah, I really liked your hands.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> My hands?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Uh-huh.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (to his hands) Way to go guys. Y’know, you-you were really good at
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the stuff too.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, I know. Hey, y’know what we never did? (Ross looks at her.) Oh
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no, not that. (Ross nods okay.) We uh, we never had a bonus night!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> A what?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Y’know, bonus night. Y’know, when two people break up but they
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get back together for just one night.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> One night, just-just sex. No strings attached?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah-yeah, we never had that,</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> No.</p>
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<p>[Silence.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, this is getting a little crazy. I mean, I’m-I’m sure it
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would be amazing but I…gotta say I really-really don’t think it would be a good
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idea. Y’know? I really, really…don’t.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is playing <i>Playstation</i>, <i>Crash Team Racing</i>
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to be exact (he’s in last on Hot Air Skyway to be more exact) as Joey enters from his
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room desperately trying to look like a 19-year-old. He’s got the wool cap, he’s
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got the cut-off <i>Knicks</i> jersey over the faded T-shirt, and he’s got the whole
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pants-around-the-knees-showing-off-the-boxers thing that rich, white, suburban kids have
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adopted in a desperate and extremely futile attempt to try to look like they’re from
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the inner-city.]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> ‘Sup? ‘Sup dude?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (putting his hands up) Take whatever you want, just please don’t
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hurt me.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> So you’re playing a little <i>Playstation</i>, huh? That’s
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whack! <i>Playstation</i> is whack! ‘Sup with the whack<i> Playstation</i>,
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‘sup?! Huh? Come on, am I 19 or what?!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes, on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the dumbest a person can look,
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you are definitely 19.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Come on man, really how old?!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Young! You’re a man-child okay?! Now go get changed because
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everybody’s ready and please, oh please, keep my underwear!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Wow thanks! (He goes into his bedroom and closes the door.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Joe?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Uh, you’ve had a lot of sex right?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> When? Today? Some, not a lot.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, it’s just the reason that I’m asking is because I kind
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of eh, uh, I was unable to—I mean I really wanted to, but I couldn’t….
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There huh—hmm, there-there was an incident.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Don’t worry about that man, that happens.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> It’s happened to you?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah! Once.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, what’d you do?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I did it anyway.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the living room and Phoebe is in
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her room.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Phoebe! Come on! Let’s go! (Knocks on her door.) Come on! (Phoebe
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enters with guitar and not ready to go.) Why aren’t you dressed yet?!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I’m sorry, but I just wrote the best dance song for your wedding.
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Check this out. (Gets ready to play.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (grabs the guitar away from her) No, Phoebe, I’ll tell you what, if
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you get ready now I’ll let you play it at the wedding.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Really?! Oh that’s so exciting! Thank you! Thanks Mon! Oh but Mon,
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if you touch my guitar again I’ll have to pound on you for a little bit.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Fair enough, now go get ready!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay. (She goes to get ready.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I’ll get everybody else (Does so), finally we can start celebrating
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my—(She gasps and is stopped by the sight of Ross and Rachel making out in the hall.)
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I’m sorry, uh apparently I’ve opened the door to the past.</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, continued from before the commercial break.
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Monica is walking into the apartment followed by Ross and Rachel.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, Monica. Mon, uh what-what you just saw…</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (interrupting) Can I ask you just a little question, huh? Why tonight?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> See, I’ve been waiting my whole life to be engaged, and unlike some
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people I’m only planning on doing this once. So, uh y’know, maybe this is
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selfish and I’m sorry about it, but I was kinda hoping tonight could just be about
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that.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh honey, but it is just about…</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> It is! It is!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> No it’s not! No! No! Now it’s about you and Ross getting back
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together!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> See yeah umm, you kinda stole my thunder!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay! Ho-ho! We did not steal your thunder because we are <b>not</b>
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getting back together!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah. No. And you know what? Nobody even saw!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> That’s true.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Honey I swear it we just kissed. </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> It was just a kiss. (Phoebe enters and overhears this.)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You guys kissed!!!!! What does this mean?!! Are you, are you getting
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back together?! Can I sing at your wedding?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Thunder being stolen!!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay come on Phoebe, it’s nothing! Monica, come on!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Look let’s not make a big deal out of this! It was a <b>one</b> time
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thing. It doesn’t even matter!</p>
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<p>(Chandler and Joey enter and overhear that.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh my God! I cannot believe you guys are talking about this! The problems
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in the bedroom are between the man and the woman!!! All right?!! Now Chandler is doing the
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best he can!!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (angrily) I don’t think that’s what they were talking about
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Joe!!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What a great night, Chandler can’t do it, these guys kissed…
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(Points to Ross and Rachel.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> What? </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> What?!</p>
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|
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<p><b>Joey:</b> You guys kissed! Oh my—this is huge!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh no!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No-no, it’s really not huge.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> And; people thinking it’s huge has led Monica to believe that <b>we</b>
|
||
are stealing her thunder. (To Monica) Which we are not!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, we’re still talking about it, aren’t we?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well yeah, that and Chandler’s problem.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Monica-Monica-Monica-Monica, listen-listen, listen, listen, would-would it
|
||
make you feel better if we all stop talking about Ross and Rachel.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yes that would be lovely.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> You got it. Okay. Now, I can pass for 19 right?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes, you can pass for 19.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Really?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Seriously?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Seriously? Seriously, no! You can play your own age which is 31!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (gasps) I’m 30!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Joey, you are not! You’re 31.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (realizes) Aww crap!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, so <i>The Plaza</i>! Okay, we’ll get us some Mai Thai’s,
|
||
(To Chandler) maybe no more for you though.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Y’know what? I-I think that umm, I don’t feel like going to <i>The
|
||
Plaza</i>.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Why?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Honey, Monica, this is ridiculous! Look…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> No-no, I-I really don’t want to talk about it! I don’t! (To
|
||
Rachel) Especially with you. (Goes into her room.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Psss, that is whack!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Time lapse, Phoebe is playing the guitar for Joey.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (she’s strumming something) Yeah? (Joey nods yes.) Okay, I think
|
||
I’ll play it at the wedding.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah! Well, I think we’ll see if they actually let you play. Huh? I
|
||
mean they tell you anything you want to hear like-like, "You look 19," and then
|
||
they just take it away like-like, "No you don’t."</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well, I don’t think Monica is gonna take this away.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Wouldn’t she?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Would she?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Would she? (He smells something and gasps as he realizes what it is.) You
|
||
ate my candy bar!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Rachel’s bedroom, she’s pacing as Ross knocks on her door and opens
|
||
it a little to stick his hands in.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Guess who? (Enters fully.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, I just realized we kinda left some stuff up in the air…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What do you think Monica meant when she said she didn’t want to
|
||
talk, especially with me? I mean, why not especially you and me? We were both out there
|
||
kissing.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Still thinking about it huh?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Come on! Serious-ser-ser-seriously, what did she mean by that?
|
||
(Mimicking Monica.) Especially you!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (loosening his tie) Oh, who cares?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I care!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (tightening his tie) And so do I.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Y’know what, I-I have to go talk to her, would you let me just get
|
||
changed?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay. Sure. (Sits down on her bed.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Am I <b>going</b> to let you watch me undress?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (sitting up) No! (Exits.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Chandler’s bedroom, they are both getting undressed.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I can’t believe her, y’know it’s just—it’s so
|
||
typical.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Now Monica, I know you’re upset, but don’t forget. There is
|
||
going to be a wedding, you are going to throw the bouquet, and <b>then</b> there’s
|
||
going to be a honeymoon, maybe in Paris.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Paris?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> We will take a moonlit walk on the Rue de la (mumbles something).</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Keep talking.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Then we will sprinkle rose pedals on the bed and make love. Not just
|
||
because it’s romantic, but because I can!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I love you!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(They start making out and both start to feel something growing below the belt line.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (in a French accent) Bonjour, monsieur.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, don’t say anything, you might scare it away.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(There is a knock on the door.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> It’s Paris, who knows we’re here!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (opening the door) Hi Pheebs, what’s up? (She enters.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, you said I could sing at your wedding so, I’m just gonna need
|
||
a small deposit.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Y’know, just some good faith money to hold the date.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Pheebs, we’re not giving you a deposit for our wedding!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, I see. (Exits angrily.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to the living room, Joey is eating a sandwich.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> They break your heart, don’t they?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Y’know, I don’t really need their permission.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah! If you wanna sing at their wedding, well you sing at their wedding!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah! And if you wanna look 19, then you… You gotta do something
|
||
about your eyes.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> What?! What’s wrong with my eyes.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> They give you away! There’s just-there’s just too much wisdom
|
||
in there. (Joey nods in agreement.) Just put some tea bags on there for like 15 minutes.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> And that’ll get rid of my wisdom?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Maybe just 10 minutes for you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut back to Monica and Chandler’s room, they are making out again as there’s
|
||
another knock on the door.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, give her the deposit! Give her the ring! I don’t care!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Monica opens the door to Ross and Rachel.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yes.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Monica, what did you mean before when you said you didn’t want to
|
||
talk to anyone, especially me?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What a great apology! (To Monica) And you accept! Okay, bye-bye!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No-no, seriously-seriously, what was the especially me part about?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, let’s just say it’s not the first time you’ve
|
||
stolen my thunder.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (To Rachel) Hey, here’s a thought.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Rachel ignores him and follows Monica into the kitchen.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Monica, what are you talking about?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> My Sweet Sixteen! Remember, you went to third base with my cousin
|
||
Charlie.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (entering) Ahh, third base.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> It’s all everybody at the party could talk about!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Monica, y’know what? The only reason I did that was because your
|
||
party was so boring!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (gasps) We had a caricaturist!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh!! </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (singing, angrily) </p>
|
||
|
||
<blockquote>
|
||
<blockquote>
|
||
<p>"<i>Whenever I get married, guess who won’t get to sing?<br>
|
||
Somebody named Geller</i>!<i> And somebody else named Bing</i>!"</p>
|
||
</blockquote>
|
||
</blockquote>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Exits.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Monica, your Sweet Sixteen was like a million years ago.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> And yet, here we are doing it again.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ugh, Monica I don’t want to steal your stupid thunder!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh please! Why else would you have made out with Ross?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Got me. (He shows of his hands.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> All right, easy mimey, the moment has passed, it ain’t gonna
|
||
happen!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I just thought it would be nice if I could have just this one night!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I swear, I never wanted any part of your night!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, is that why you did it in the secret hallway where nobody ever goes?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh, Rachel, I’ve been thinking. I don’t think us getting
|
||
together tonight is such a good idea. I’m calling it off.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (To Ross) Why to save your dignity my man.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (ignoring them) Monica, why? Why would I ever want to take away from
|
||
your night?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I don’t know! I don’t—maybe you’re feeling a little
|
||
resentful. Maybe ah, maybe you thought you’d get married first! Maybe you can’t
|
||
stand the fact that your formerly <b>fat</b> friend is getting married before you!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh wow. That—y’know what? That is so unfair. Y’know what?
|
||
Now I <b>want</b> to steal your thunder! Come on Ross, let’s go have sex!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Ross tries to dismiss it by making that sound, but decides to go for it and follows
|
||
Rachel.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (yelling after them) I can’t believe you’re gonna have sex on
|
||
my engagement night!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, somebody should. (Monica glares at him.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Cut to Rachel’s bedroom.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Look uh, if we’re gonna do this…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> We’re not gonna do this, all right? She’s just gonna think
|
||
that we’re doin’ it.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, I see, so everybody wins. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(There’s a knock on the door.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Who is it?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (outside the door) It’s Monica, open up!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay well Ross! Stop it please! Wait a minute! (Motions for him to
|
||
follow her lead, but he angrily shakes his head no. So she pokes him.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oww!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah, you like that baby? (Monica bursts in followed by Chandler.) May
|
||
we help you?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I just wanted to say that I hope you do have sex tonight and I hope that
|
||
you guys get back together, but I must warn you, the night that you announce your
|
||
engagement I’m going to announce that I’m pregnant!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> How is that ever going to happen?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> All right Monica, do you want to know why I was with Ross tonight?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I know why!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No you <b>don’t</b> know why!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay! Why?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Because! Because I was sad.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What do you mean?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Look, I am so…so happy for you guys, but you getting married just
|
||
reminds me of the fact that I’m not. I’m not even close. And I don’t know,
|
||
maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that that’s dumb, but oh
|
||
my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Ross looks at Chandler.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (To Ross) I don’t care, she slept with me.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Anyway sweetie, I am, I’m <b>so</b> sorry I ruined your night.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (starting to cry) I’m sorry I almost made you sleep with Ross.
|
||
(They hug.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (deadpan) Well, I’m going to take off. (To Chandler) Congratulations
|
||
man.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Thanks.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (at the door) And uh, Rachel.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What can I say, you missed your chance. From now on the only person
|
||
who’s going to enjoy these bad boys (holds up his hands) is me. (Quickly realizes
|
||
what he said and exits disgustedly.) </p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Ending Credits</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is singing outside Monica and
|
||
Chandler’s door.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (singing)<i></i></p><i>
|
||
|
||
<blockquote>
|
||
<blockquote>
|
||
<p>"We thought Phoebe would leave, but she just stayed and stayed.<br>
|
||
That’s right, I’m here all night, and Chandler will never get l…"</p>
|
||
</blockquote>
|
||
</blockquote>
|
||
</i>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (interrupting her just in time) Hey! Here’s a dollar, consider it
|
||
a deposit. Please sing at our wedding.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh thank you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay. (Goes back to bed.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Now… (Starts singing again) "<i>Who will perform the ceremony!
|
||
Who will perform the cer</i>—(Chandler enters and grabs her guitar and closes the
|
||
door behind him)—Oh—oh! All right, I’ll pound on him in the morning.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
|
||
</body></html> |