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<title>The One With The Ring</title>
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<h1 align="center">The One With The Ring</h1>
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<hr>
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<p>Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen<br>
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Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
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<hr>
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<p>[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is at the sink and Chandler is looking
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at a ring brochure.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Pheebs, can you help me pick out an engagement ring for Monica? I
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can’t figure this out! It’s so hard! Should I get her a (turning to each page)
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Tiffany cut or a Princess cut or a—ah-ah! Paper cut!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Now, have you told anyone else?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> No, I don’t want to tell anybody else because I don’t want
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Monica to find out.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You told me.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, it’s because I trust you, you’re one of my best
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friends, and you walked in on me when I was looking at ring brochures.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah well, once again not knocking pays off. I only wish you hadn’t
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been on the toilet.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Me too.</p>
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<p>(Joey and Ross enter causing Chandler to quickly hide the brochure behind his back.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey. (Heads straight for the fridge.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey! So Chandler, wanna go to the coffeehouse? </p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh all right.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, coffeehouse.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh perfect, we were just gonna see if you wanted to go.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh well, we don’t because we got…the…other pl-place.</p>
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<p>(Joey returns with a piece of pizza as Chandler and Phoebe exit.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> How rude.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, I’m sorry. You wanna bite? (Holds his piece out for him.)</p>
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<p align="center"><strong>Opening Credits</strong></p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> So how are things going with Paul?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Good. Although y’know, he-he’s a private guy. Y’know, I
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wish I could get him to open up a little bit, share some feelings.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> That’s easy! You just have to think of him as a-as a jar of pickles
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that won’t open.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> So what are you saying; I should run him under hot water and bang his
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head against a table?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No that’s what you do when you want to get the truth out of
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someone.</p>
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<p><b>Paul:</b> (entering) Hi honey.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (To Rachel) Watch this.</p>
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<p><b>Paul:</b> (To Rachel) How are you?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (To Phoebe) Okay.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hi Paul!</p>
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<p><b>Paul:</b> Hi Phoebe.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> So how are things going with you?</p>
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<p><b>Paul:</b> Can’t complain.</p>
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<p>(Phoebe turns to Rachel and mimes remove a lid of a jar. Ross enters and Paul motions
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for Rachel to leave with him now.)</p>
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<p><b>Paul:</b> (whispering) Come on.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay. (Gets up and starts to leave with Paul.)</p>
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<p><b>Paul:</b> (To Ross) Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hi!</p>
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<p>(They shake hands and their lines overlap.)</p>
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<p><b>Paul:</b> Ross! </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Great to see you!</p>
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<p><b>Paul:</b> Good to see you too!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> How you doing?</p>
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<p><b>Paul:</b> Good. Bye! (Starts to leave.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay! You take care! </p>
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<p>(Ross turns his back on Paul and makes a ‘I hate that guy’ face. Paul does
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the same thing.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey Pheebs, what-what was the deal with you and Chandler blowing us off
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before?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah! That was so weird, huh?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Phoebe, why’d you do it?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I didn’t do it! It was Chandler! He’s… He’s mad at
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you!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What?! Why?!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Please, I think you know why.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I can’t think of anything.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Come on Ross, you’re a paleontologist, dig a little deeper.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Wait a minute, is it because Joey and I didn’t invite him to that
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Knicks game a couple of weeks ago?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Do you think that’s something that he’d be mad at you for?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I guess it could.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well then I think that’s it.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, if he’s angry, he really shouldn’t just cover it up. I-I
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wish he would just tell me the truth.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, if that’s what you want you then you really should run his head
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under hot water and bang his head against a table.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Paul and Rachel are getting ready to go out. Paul is
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entering from the bathroom.]</p>
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<p><b>Paul:</b> Honey I made a reservation at China Garden, is that okay?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah that’s great. But first, wait, talk to me, talk to me. Tell me
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about your day.</p>
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<p><b>Paul:</b> It was fine.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay. Hey, what are you thinking? What are you thinking right now?</p>
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<p><b>Paul:</b> I’m thinking that you are looking really fine it that dress.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah that’s great Paul, but y’know I wanna know
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what—(Puts her hands on his shoulders)—Wow, those are really great! I just wanna
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know what, what is behind this-this strong, silent exterior. Y’know they say that
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still waters run deep and I wanna swim in yours.</p>
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<p><b>Paul:</b> Are you talking about having sex?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> No Paul, I don’t know anything about you! Y’know, like-like
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your childhood! Tell me about your childhood!</p>
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<p><b>Paul:</b> Normal.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, well then how about puberty! Come on, that’s always a painful
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time! Y’know your friends invite you to a slumber party and then they stick your hand
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in warm water while you’re sleeping so that you pee in your sleeping bag.</p>
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<p><b>Paul:</b> Nope! That never happened to me!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, you’re lucky you never met that bitch Sharon Majesky. Anyway,
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umm… The rest of you life, y’know? Any regrets?</p>
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<p><b>Paul:</b> Nope.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> All right Paul, I’m not asking for a lot here. Okay? Just give me
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something. Anything!</p>
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<p><b>Paul:</b> Okay.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay.</p>
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<p><b>Paul:</b> Okay.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> All right.</p>
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<p><b>Paul:</b> When I was six years old.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hm-mmm.</p>
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<p><b>Paul:</b> I wanted a big wheel. And instead my parents got me this little plastic
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chicken that you hop around on. It was embarrassing; kids made fun of me. That was a
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pretty tough year.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> That’s-that’s great! See? I already feel like I know you a
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little better! Thank you. Okay, come on. Now we can go eat. Let’s go. (Gets up to
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leave, but Paul doesn’t move.)</p>
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<p><b>Paul:</b> It was horrible. They called me chicken boy.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh!</p>
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<p>[Time Lapse, Paul is now weeping uncontrollably in Rachel’s arms.]</p>
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<p><b>Paul:</b> And in fifth grade I got into a fight. Well, it wasn’t really a
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fight. Richard Darinvel bit me on the nose and, and I feel down. I still have a little
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scare right here (points to it) you can see it.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah. Yeah, I-I-I see the scare. Listen, Paul, I think this is really
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great that-that y’know, you shared your feelings. It’s really, it’s
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beautiful, but umm, what do you say we go share some food?</p>
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<p><b>Paul:</b> Oh, I couldn’t eat now.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?! Wait! What are you talking about?! You love their Kung Pao
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Chicken!</p>
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<p><b>Paul:</b> Chicken? (Pointing to himself.) Chicken boy!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> My God, I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to do that! I
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wouldn’t do that!</p>
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<p>(Paul screams like a chicken and breaks down into tears again.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: A Jewelry Shop, Chandler and Phoebe are looking at engagement rings.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Nothin! This is the nine millionth ring store we’ve been too and
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I can’t find the perfect ring! (Goes over to another display counter and starts
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pointing at rings.) Ugly ring! Ugly ring! Ugly ring! (Notices that one of the jewelers is
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watching him.) It’s a beautiful selection. (The jeweler walks away slowly.)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, so maybe you don’t get her a ring. Maybe you-maybe you do
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something different. Y’know? Maybe you get her an engagement bracelet, y’know?
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Or an engagement tiara? Or—ooh! An engagement Revolutionary War musket! (Picks one up
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from the display in the corner.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Y’know, I’m so glad I picked you to help me with this.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Huh? Can you just imagine getting down on one knee and handing her this
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gorgeous piece of weaponry?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, I’m gonna stick with the ring. (Goes to another display
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counter.) Oh, this one’s nice! (Pointing to another ring.) I like this one! Sir? Uh,
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kind sir? Can I see this one?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (coming over after returning the musket) Wait a minute, no, this is,
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this is the reason you brought me. Okay? I know how to haggle. So let me handle this from
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here on out.</p>
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<p><b>Male Jeweler:</b> Can I help you?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Uh-uh, yes. I would like to see that ring please.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Or not, whatever.</p>
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<p><b>Male Jeweler:</b> This ring is from the 1920s, it’s a one and a half carat
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diamond with sapphires on either side.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Sir, can I ask you to umm, could you…hold out that ring and ask
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me to marry you?</p>
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<p><b>Male Jeweler:</b> Okay. (Holds out the ring, deadpan.) Will you marry me?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (choking up) Oh my God that’s it, that’s the ring! How much
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is it?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Chandler, I-I will handle this! (To the jeweler) How much <b>is</b> it?</p>
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<p><b>Male Jeweler:</b> 8,600.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> We will give you $10.</p>
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<p><b>Male Jeweler:</b> (angrily) Are you interested in this ring?!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes! Yes, but I can only pay $8,000.</p>
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<p><b>Male Jeweler:</b> Okay, I can let it go at eight.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> We stand firm at $10.</p>
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<p><b>Male Jeweler:</b> (ignoring her) How would you like to pay?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Uh, credit card. (Reaches for it then realizes) Oh no! No-no, but I
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left my credit card with Joey. (To Phoebe) Okay, I’ll go get it. You guard the ring.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay. (To the jeweler) Listen, I’m sorry about before. Do you have
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anything her for $10.</p>
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<p><b>Male Jeweler:</b> Uh yes, I have these two rather beautiful $5 bills. (Holds them up
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from his pocket.) </p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I’ll give you $1 for them.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Joey are there.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, remember how Chandler and Phoebe blew us off yesterday?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> No.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Remember? You-you were eating pizza.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay. Well, apparently Chandler’s angry at us for not getting him a
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ticket to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, we’re supposed to just get him a ticket?! That guy is always
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mooching off of us!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah! Anyway, I-I still think we should try to patch things up,
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y’know? Like uh, maybe we could get him to get tickets to another Knicks game and
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invite him.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh wow that’s a great idea! And <b>I</b> still have his credit card.</p>
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<p><b>Gunther:</b> (handing them the bill) Here you go.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh. (Starts to get his money) </p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey-hey-hey-ho-ho, I got this one. Here you go. (Hands Gunther
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Chandler’s card.) Y’know I gotta tell ya, sometimes I just—I don’t get
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Chandler. Y’know, me and him do stuff all the time without you and you don’t get
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all upset.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> All the time?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> All the time!</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is there as Rachel enters.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh my God! Oh my God!!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Still crying?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Like a <b>little</b> girl. I know. I know. I know. This is all my fault;
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I wanted him to open up. But God, I didn’t know that I was gonna unleash this-this
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weepy, clingy, moist monster!</p>
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||
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Y’know, I only know of two surefire ways to shut a man up. And one
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of them is sex.</p>
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||
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What’s the other one?</p>
|
||
|
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I don’t know, I’ve never had to use the other one. I’m
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just saying y’know, if we’re having sex, he’s not gonna be talking.</p>
|
||
|
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh that’s right. You’re the talker. (They both reflect on that
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||
briefly) Anyway uh, great idea! Umm, I gotta go to the store; I told him that I would buy
|
||
him some more tissues.</p>
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||
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, we have some…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No you don’t!</p>
|
||
|
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<p>[Scene: The Jewelry Store, Phoebe is busy trying on virtually everything in the store.
|
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She’s got earrings, rings, bracelets, and enough necklaces to put Mr. T to shame on.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay umm, I’d also like to try on the tiara. (The male jeweler
|
||
hands it to her.) Oh yeah. Okay. (Puts it on.) (To the jeweler) What do you think, too
|
||
much?</p>
|
||
|
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<p><b>Male Jeweler:</b> A tad.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay. Then, take the tiara back and let me hold the musket again. (He
|
||
hands it to her and Phoebe poses in front of one of those small mirrors.) Something’s
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||
missing. It’s not… Okay oh, let me see the ring my friend picked out.</p>
|
||
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<p><b>Male Jeweler:</b> (to the female jeweler) Where’s the 1920s princess cut ring.</p>
|
||
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<p><b>Female Jeweler:</b> I just sold it to that gentleman. (Points to the one walking out
|
||
the store.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh my God!! (She runs after him, but sets of the security system, which
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||
locks the store’s door and brings down a set of bars behind her, caging her in.) No!
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||
What?! Help me! Let me out! Now! (Points the musket at them.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Commercial Break</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Paul is still crying as Chandler enters.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Paul:</b> Rachel?</p>
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||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No. How are ya Paul? (Starts to look for his credit card.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Paul:</b> (acting manly to try and cover up his crying) Okay. Chandler, did your dad
|
||
ever hug you?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No, did he hug you?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Paul:</b> No! No! It’s just that, my dad never did. I miss my dad.</p>
|
||
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||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, you can see my dad in Vegas kissing other dads.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Paul:</b> Hey Chandler?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Paul:</b> Would you…….Would you hug me?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I’m a little busy here Paul.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Paul:</b> That’s exactly what my dad used to say! (Starts to breakdown again.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, a quick one. Come on hug it out. (Paul rushes over and hugs
|
||
Chandler tightly.) Oh hey! There you go. (The hug continues.) Okay. (The hug continues.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Paul:</b> Five more seconds.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay! (Pushes him away.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (entering) Hey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Paul:</b> Joey! (Goes over and hugs Joey and picks him off of his feet.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Whoa-whoa-hey-hey! (Motions to Chandler, "What’s going
|
||
on?") Hi, Paul is it? (Paul nods yes and still hugging Joey.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Do you have my credit card?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yes, it’s in my… In…in my pocket. (Paul hasn’t dropped
|
||
him yet.) (Chandler starts to reach for his front pocket.) My back pocket! My back pocket!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Thank God! (Grabs his card.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh hey listen I got us tickets to a Knicks game tonight.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, I can’t go.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Come on! It’ll be fun! Me, you, and Ross, and… Paul
|
||
probably…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: The Jewelry Store, Chandler is entering with his credit card and Phoebe is
|
||
holding out another ring for him.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Chandler, I found the perfect ring. (Holding it out for her.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, that’s uh, that’s pretty nice but I’m gonna go with
|
||
the one I picked first.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh my God Chandler, the one you picked is gone. It’s over!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Some guy bought it. I’m sorry. I tired to stop it but they (points
|
||
to the jeweler) put me in jail!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> They put you in jail?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> The little jail between the doors!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Phoebe, I asked you to guard the ring!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I know, I’m sorry! But y’know, this ring is better! Monica
|
||
never even saw the other ring.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah but when he proposed to me with the ring I got goose bumps.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Maybe it was the guy.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> It was the ring!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is on the couch and Joey is entering.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey! So uh, was he excited about the tickets?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No! He blew us off!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> What?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I know!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I can’t believe it. (Pause) Can I tell you something? I’m a
|
||
little mad at him now.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Can I tell you something? Me too.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Y’know what? He didn’t want to talk to us about being angry,
|
||
well maybe we don’t talk to him <b>at all</b>!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ooooh! Freeze him out.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> That’s right!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I like it!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Eh? We’ll show him!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> From now on, it’s gonna be Joey and Ross, best friends. (They shake
|
||
hands.) Okay! We’re gonna be the new Joey and Chandler.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Paul is writing something as Rachel enters.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi. I’m back.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Paul:</b> Hey! I have so much more to tell ya, I’ve written it all down!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ah that’s great. No actually that’s… (In a sexy voice)
|
||
That’s great! That’s really great! Y’know, I gotta tell ya writing, I mean
|
||
writing, gets me uh, gets me kinda hot.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Paul:</b> Wait! Wait! Listen! Listen to this! (Flips a couple pages and points to
|
||
something.) Y’know what I wanted to be when I was that age?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> A lover?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Paul:</b> A surfer.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh yeah surfer?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Paul:</b> I wanted to be one with the waves, y’know?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, hold on real quick, hold on a second let me just uh, (sits on the
|
||
counter and buttons her sweater to show some cleavage) get a little more comfortable here.
|
||
Wait, now wait a second, this isn’t too revealing is it?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Paul:</b> (barely glancing at her) No. What ever happened to that little dude.
|
||
(Pause) So full of dreams…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I don’t care about the little dude! I can’t! I cannot listen
|
||
to anymore of this! Y’know, the only person who would want to listen to this is a
|
||
mental health professional! And then it’s only because they get paid $100 an hour! Do
|
||
you know how much money I could’ve made listening to you? $2,000! And do you know
|
||
when I figured that out? While you were talking!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Paul:</b> What?! I can’t believe you’re trying to stifle me! When just 14
|
||
hours ago we figured out that that is exactly what my mother was trying to do to me!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh… I’m sorry. I… I-I don’t mean—I didn’t
|
||
mean to stifle you. I… This is all just a little overwhelming.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Paul:</b> Oh Rachel, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to overwhelm you.
|
||
It’s just that, when those gates open, you… (Starts to breakdown.) Hard to close
|
||
‘em. But they are closed now. Believe me.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I’m so glad, I’m so glad you shared. (Feeling his shoulder.)
|
||
And I’m glad that you’re done. What do you say we umm… (Nods in the
|
||
direction of the bedroom.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Paul:</b> I would really like that. (They kiss.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Rachel’s Bedroom, Paul and Rachel are recovering.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Paul:</b> That was…so good. (Starts crying again.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the ring he bought and
|
||
not liking it.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (entering from her room) Hey.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I can’t believe I let you talk me into buying this stupid gumball
|
||
machine looking ring!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> It’s not a stupid gumball machine looking ring! It’s a
|
||
beautiful ring!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No, it’s not! When I looked at the other ring I could see
|
||
Monica’s face when I gave it to her, y’know? And I could see her saying yes.
|
||
When I look at this ring, all I see is a ring! Unless I look at it really closely and then
|
||
I can see my own eye. (Does so and laughs.) Look, this is the most important thing
|
||
I’m gonna do in my life. I wanna make sure it’s perfect.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay. There may be a way that we can get the other ring back.
|
||
‘Cause I heard the guy tell the jeweler where he was going to propose. So maybe we
|
||
can get him to trade rings or something.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I can’t do that.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well you certainly can’t give her that stupid gumball ring.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: A Restaurant, Chandler and Phoebe are entering. This is the place where the guy
|
||
who bought Chandler’s ring is going to propose.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> There he is! (Points.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay and he hasn’t proposed yet because she has no ring on her
|
||
finger.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wow! You’re good! After this, we should solve crimes.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah! Okay, go, go, go get him.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, okay. (Walks over to him.) Excuse me sir? Could you come with me
|
||
please? You have a phone call.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Customer:</b> Who is it?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> It is your office.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Customer:</b> Do you know who at my office?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> John?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Customer:</b> Oh John! Great!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(She brings him over to Chandler.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (To Chandler) Here he is.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (to him) Hi! Hi. Okay, there was a slight mix-up at the jewelry store,
|
||
the ring you’re about to propose with was supposed to be held for me. So, I’m
|
||
gonna need to have that back. (The guy isn’t sure.) But, in exchange I’m willing
|
||
to trade you this beautiful, more expensive ring. (Looking at the ring.) Ew.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wow! I would trade.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Customer:</b> It is beautiful, but I’m gonna use this one. Now, if you’ll
|
||
excuse me.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No-no! This is my fiancee (Phoebe) and her heart was set on that ring.
|
||
You don’t want to break her heart now do you?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, do you want to break a dying woman’s heart?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Customer:</b> You’re dying?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Phoebe coughs.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, she’s dying… Of a cough apparently.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yes, and it is my dying wish to have that ring. See, if I’m not
|
||
buried with that ring then my spirit is going to wander the nether world for all
|
||
eternity…</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (interrupting her) Okay, that’s enough honey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Customer:</b> I don’t know. (Pause) Let me see the ring.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Great! Okay, here. (Holds the ring up for him.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Customer:</b> (looks at it) All right. (Exchanges rings.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! (To his girlfriend) And <b>you</b>
|
||
are about to marry a wonderful man! (She stunned and he’s horrified.) Hey! I’m
|
||
marrying a dead woman!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are watching TV as Chandler enters.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Guys? (They ignore him.) I’ve got something important to tell ya.
|
||
(Still nothing so he walks over and stands in front of the TV.) Guys? (They lean over to
|
||
try and watch the TV, Chandler mimics them.) Guys?! (Pause) I’m gonna ask Monica to
|
||
marry me.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (To Ross) I think we gotta end the freeze out.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Wait a minute, is this, is this for real?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, check out the ring. (Shows it to them.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh my God!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> So you two are really serious?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yep, pretty much.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> You-you’re gonna get married?! I mean… We’re gonna be
|
||
brothers-in-law! (They hug.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> And-and-and-and-and-and, and we’re gonna be friends again! </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (goes to hug him and stops short) Heyyyy—What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh it’s water under the bridge, forget it!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay! (They hug.) I was gonna wait ‘til uh, it was official
|
||
y’know? But I got so excited I just had to tell you guys because you’re my best
|
||
friends.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I think I’m gonna cry!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (who has just entered) Ugh! No more crying! Please! I just dumped one
|
||
cry baby, I’ll dump you too!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Ross and Joey urge Chandler to tell Rachel.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I’m gonna ask Monica to marry me.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh Chandler!! (Hugs him.) You guys are gonna be so
|
||
happy!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I know.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (holding an empty tissue box) Where’s all the tissues?! (Throws the
|
||
box down in disgust.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>Ending Credits</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, continued from earlier. Chandler is showing Rachel the
|
||
ring.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Check out the ring.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (gasps) Nice! One and a half carat easy.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (entering) Hi.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey-hey Pheebs!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Chandler’s gonna ask Monica to marry him!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh I know, I helped pick out the ring.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Chandler laughs, turns, and sees that Ross and Joey aren’t happy.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> You told her before you told us?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, she walked in when I was looking at the ring brochures. You can
|
||
understand that, right? (Ross and Joey look at each other and go back to watching the game
|
||
on TV.) Guys? Guys? (Walks in front of them again.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><strong>End</strong></p>
|
||
|
||
|
||
</body></html> |