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<!-- saved from url=(0054)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season3/319tiny.htm -->
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<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
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<title>The One With The Tiny T-shirt</title>
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<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
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<body bgcolor="white" text="black" link="green" vlink="black" alink="yellow" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
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<h1 align="center">The One With The Tiny T-shirt</h1>
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<hr align="center">
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<p>Written by: Adam Chase<br>
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Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a> </p>
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<hr>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is pouring Rachel coffee.]</p>
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<p><b>Gunther:</b> Here you go.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Thank you.</p>
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<p><b>Gunther:</b> (In his head) <i>Say Rachel, I was wondering if you’d like to go
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to a movie with me sometime. As my lover! Nnnsch, to out there. Maybe you’d just like
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to ah, get something to eat with me sometime? As my lover.</i></p>
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<p><b>Mark:</b> (entering) Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi! All right, let’s go shoppin’!!</p>
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<p><b>Mark:</b> Um, y'know, before we go ah, there’s something I need to say.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, okay.</p>
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<p><b>Mark:</b> I’ve kinda of had this ah, this crush on you. (Rachel is shocked) But
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since you were with Ross, I-I didn’t do anything about it. But, now that you’re
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not, I’d really like to ask you out sometime. So-so that’s-that’s what
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I’m doing, now.</p>
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<p>(Gunther gets this hurt expression on his face and goes into the back room)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Wow! Umm....</p>
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<p>(She’s interrupted by a loud crash and the sound of braking dishes. Followed
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quickly by another crash. Everyone turns and looks at the back room, as Gunther emerges.)</p>
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<p><b>Gunther:</b> I dropped a cup.</p>
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<p align="center"><b>Opening Credits</b></p>
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<p>[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments, Pete and Monica are returning from
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their date.]</p>
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<p><b>Pete:</b> ...so y'know, that’s why, within a few years, that voice recognition
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is gonna be pretty much standard on any computer you buy. Y'know, so you could be
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like-like, ‘Wash my car.’ ‘Clean my room.’ It’s not gonna be able
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to do any of those things, but it’ll understand what you’re saying.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, this is so great.</p>
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<p><b>Pete:</b> Yeah, it was.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> All right then. (He leans in to kiss her goodnight, but she quickly
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kisses him on the cheek and pats his shoulder.) Bye.</p>
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<p>(She goes into her apartment and sees Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross sitting there.)</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hello, people who do not live here.</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Hi! Hello!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I gave you a key for emergencies!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> We were out of <i>Doritos</i>.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, how’d the date go with Mr. Millionaire?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Mr. Millionaire, new from Snooty Playthings! Third wife sold
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separately.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> He’s great! I mean we have such a good time together! He’s so
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funny, and sooo sweet, and I’m not attracted to him at all!!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Still?!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Noo!! It’s driving me crazy. I mean every other way he’s like
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the perfect guy, he has everything. Plus! He actually has everything.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Life-sized Imperial Storm Troopers from <i>Sharper Image</i>?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Two.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Wow!! Can Joey and I put them on and fight?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (entering, dancing and singing) Oh mommie, oh daddie, I am a big old
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baddie! Oh mommie, oh daddie, I am a big old baddie! (He dances around the dinner table
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and exits)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I guess he musta gotten the part in that play.</p>
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<p><b>Monica and Phoebe:</b> Oh.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, either that, or Gloria Estefan was right, eventually, the rhythm
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is going to get you.</p>
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<p>[Scene: A Theatre, Joey is arriving to rehearse the play he’s in.]</p>
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<p><b>The Director:</b> Joe. How’s it going?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Good. (He sets his stuff down and starts talking to Kate, another cast
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member.) Hey.</p>
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<p><b>Kate:</b> Hi.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, so you’re playing Adrienne, huh?</p>
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<p><b>Kate:</b> Yes. Are you one of the retarded cousins?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, no. Ah, I playing your husband, Victor. I’m Joey Tribianni.</p>
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<p><b>Kate:</b> Hi, nice to meet you. Kate Miller. </p>
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<p>(She goes over to the snack table, and Joey quickly runs over and pours her a cup of
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coffee.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> So the ah, play’s pretty great, huh?</p>
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<p><b>Kate:</b> Oh, yeah. I love Jennifer Van Murray’s work. She’s so
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brilliantly incisive when it comes to deconstructing the psyche of the American middle
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class.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, forget about it. She rocks!</p>
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<p><b>Kate:</b> Where do I know you from?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Dr. Drake Remoray. <i>Days of Our Lives</i>. Voted most datable
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neurosurgeon by <em>Teen Beat</em>.</p>
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<p><b>Kate:</b> No, that’s not it. So, you’re a soap actor? Well this must be
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pretty exciting for you to be in a real play, hmm?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, I’ve done plays before. I’m a serious actor.</p>
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<p><b>Kate:</b> That info-mercial! For the milk carton spout thing!
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You’re-you’re-you’re the guy that doesn’t know how to pour milk!!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> See, I actually <b>can</b> pour milk, but I got you believing that I
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couldn’t. Now, see, that’s acting.</p>
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<p align="left"><b>Kate:</b> Right, at the end, you choked on a cookie.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, that was real.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is telling Phoebe about Mark, as Gunther eavesdrops behind
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them.]</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wow! I cannot believe Mark asked you out.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I know.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What, so what are you gonna tell him?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, I told him I would think about it, but I’m gonna tell him no.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Huh.</p>
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<p>(Gunther tries to swoop in to ask Rachel out.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I mean I think I’d say no to anybody right now. (Hearing this
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Gunther swoops back to cleaning tables.) Oh, but it was so strange. I mean I’m
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standing there with this charming, cute guy, who’s asking me to go out with him,
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which I’m allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like I’d be cheating on Ross
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or something.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wow. So, okay, maybe that means that, you’re not over Ross yet and
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you have issues with your father.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I don’t have any issues with my Father.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, so it’s probably just the Ross thing then.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is telling Chandler about Kate.]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I hate this woman!! I hate her! She told everyone in the company about
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that info-mercial, and now they all keep asking me to open their drinks. Okay, and
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whenever I can’t do it, they’re all like-like laughing at me.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering) Hello.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler and Joey:</b> Hey!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> So Rachel called. Wants to see me. Going over in a minute.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Wow, what-what do you think she wants?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, maybe the crazy fog has lifted and she realises that life without
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me.... a-sucks.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> It’s possible. You are very loveable, I’d miss you if I
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broke up with you. (Ross glares at him) I was just trying to be supportive.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Then be supportive like a guy.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (in a deep voice) If I broke up with you, I’d miss you.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is there as Ross enters, walking very confidently.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hi.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> You ah, wanted to see me?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah. Ahh, here’s a box of your stuff. (hands him a box)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What?!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, y'know, it’s just like hats, and a shirt, and CD’s, just
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sort of stuff that you’ve left here.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What are you doing? Are you trying to hurt me? Or something?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> No. Ross, it, it just seems that y'know it’s time we-we y'know,
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move on. I mean, I mean don’t’ you think?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yes. </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yes, I do.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Good.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, I-I really do. (takes a dinosaur mug out of the box) Hey! This-this
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was a gift?!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ross, you got that for free from the museum gift shop.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> It’s still a gift! I got it from the <b>gift shop</b>!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, all right, give me the mug! I’ll keep the mug.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> No!! Y'know-y'know don’t do me any favours. In fact, where,
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where’s the rest of my stuff?! Huh? Like-like my umm, (picks up a book) Hey, this
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book is mine!! And-and-and, and that T-shirt you sleep in? I’d like that back too.
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Yes, I do.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> You know how much I love that T-shirt! You never even where that
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T-shirt!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I’m just trying to help you, move on.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, you are a petty man. You are a petty, petty....</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Petty...</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Petty... (goes into her room)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Petty...</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Petty...</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Petty...</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Small...</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Small... (Rachel comes back into the living room and catches Ross mocking
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her.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> You are so just doing this out of spite.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Awwwahuh, no, no, no!!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Huh?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I’m-I’m gonna wear this all the time! I love this shirt!! (he
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kisses the shirt)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> You have not worn that T-shirt since you were 15!! It doesn’t even
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fit you anymore!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah...</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (imitating him) yeah-yeah-yeah!!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh-oh, okay, okay! (He quickly takes off his sweater in order to put on
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the T-shirt. It’s an old ‘Frankie says relax’ T-shirt, that barely fits
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him. Rachel nods her head in approval of the new look.) If you don’t mind I’m
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gonna the rest of my stuff, and relax, in my favourite shirt. (Starts to leave) You have a
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pleasant evening. (He exits and leaves the door open.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, the gang minus Rachel and Ross are talking to Pete.]</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> So, you’re like a zillionaire? (Pete smiles and nods)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> And you’re our age. You’re our age.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Y'know what, you should like, you should buy a state and then just name
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it after yourself.</p>
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<p><b>Pete:</b> What like Pete Dakota?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, or, or, or, Mississ-Pete.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, oh, I got it! Pete-Chicago.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> That’s not a state Joe.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, and Mississ-Pete is?</p>
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<p><b>Pete:</b> I got to go, so ah, I’ll see you guys later.</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Okay.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> You’re our age!</p>
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<p><b>Pete:</b> (to Monica, by the door) So ah, we on for tomorrow?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Absolutely! (He goes to kiss her, but she stops him and rubs his head
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and says...) Now get out of here you!! (Pete leaves) (to the gang) Okay, I’m running
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out of places I can touch him! Look, is there something wrong with me? I mean why am I
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only attracted to guys where there’s no future? Either they’re too old, or
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they’re too young, and then there’s Pete who’s-who’s crazy about me,
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and who’s absolutely perfect for me, and there’s like zip going on! I mean,
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seriously, does it sound like something’s wrong with me?!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yeah, kinda.</p>
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<p>[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are rehearsing for the play.]</p>
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<p><b>Kate:</b> Happy?! Is that what I’m supposed to be Vic? Happy?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, why don’t you tell me what you’re supposed to be! Huh?
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Because I sure as hell can’t figure it out! I talk to you and nothin’. You look
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at me, and it’s nothin’. (He kisses her) Nothing.</p>
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<p><b>The Director:</b> Tasty! I’m really starting to feel like you guys have a
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history, it’s-it’s nice.</p>
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<p><b>Kate:</b> I have a question about this scene.</p>
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<p><b>The Director:</b> Yes?</p>
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<p><b>Kate:</b> Well, I don’t understand why Adrienne’s attracted to Victor.</p>
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<p><b>The Director:</b> Peel the onion. First of all, he’s good looking.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah.</p>
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<p><b>Kate:</b> I think my character’s gonna need a little bit more of reason than
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that.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, hey, how about this one. Ah, it’s says so in the script! Y'know
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ah, I-I don’t know why my character likes you either, I mean it says in the script
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here that you’re a bitch.</p>
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<p><b>Kate:</b> It doesn’t say that in the script.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> It does in mine!</p>
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<p>[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Ross are returning from working out.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I can blow dry it. I can put gel on it. It doesn’t matter, I
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still wind up with this little (pats the flat spot on the back of his head) cowlicky thing
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on the middle part of my head. It’s so annoying. Does it bug you?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> You bug me.</p>
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<p>[Rachel comes out of her apartment, followed by Mark, and they leave on their date,
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without saying a word to Ross. Ross is stunned.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Is there any chance you didn’t see that?</p>
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<p align="center"><b>Commercial Break</b></p>
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<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching a basketball game, Ross is staring
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out the peephole.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Ross! You gotta stop! Okay?! You can’t just stare through the
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peep hole for three hours! You’re gonna get peep eye!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I knew it! I knew it! I always knew she liked him! Y'know, she’d say
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no, but here we are! Right? We just broke up, first thing she does!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> You didn’t just break up.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, it’s been like three weeks!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> You slept with somebody three hours after you thought you broke up. I
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mean bullets have left guns slower!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Here they come, here they come. Oh-ho, if she kisses him goodnight,
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I’m gonna kill myself, I swear. I can’t, I can’t watch this. (turns away,
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then quickly turns to look again) Come on, date over! Date over! Uh-oh, here we go,
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she’s going in.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> She’s going in. Wait! He’s going in! He’s going in!! The
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door’s closed! I, I can’t see anything but the door closed!!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> And the inventor of the door rests happily in his grave.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Okay, I have to do something. I mean, I have, I have to stop it!</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Stop what?!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I don’t know, but I ah, I have the feeling that my being there will
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do it. I’ll go over and I will borrow something. Juice!! I need juice!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(He starts to exit, but Chandler tries to stop him by climbing on his back and grabbing
|
||
hold of the foosball table.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No!! You can’t!! </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Look, they must be stopped!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="left"><b>Chandler:</b> I am your friend, and I am not gonna let you do this!!
|
||
(Ross is now dragging Chandler and the foosball table to the door) You are surprisingly
|
||
strong!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I need juice! People need juice!!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Look man!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> People need juice!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Listen to me!! (Chandler turns him around and closes and holds the
|
||
door shut with his feet.) </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Juice, I need...</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> She’s moving on! Okay, if it’s not this guy, it’s gonna
|
||
be somebody else! And unless you’re thinking about subletting my peep hole, <b>you</b>
|
||
are going to have to get used to the fact that the relationship is over! Okay, man?
|
||
It’s over.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah, okay. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay. </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Ross:</b> It’s just I miss her so much.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I know. (He rubs Ross’s head) </p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is pouring Mark some coffee.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mark:</b> Why do all you’re coffee mugs have numbers on the bottom?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh. That’s so Monica can keep track. That way if one on them is
|
||
missing, she can be like, ‘Where’s number 27?!’</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(She sits down, and Mark leans over and kisses her. Rachel doesn’t react. He tries
|
||
it again, and Rachel jumps back quickly.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Y'know what?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mark:</b> No. And I don’t think I’m gonna want to.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I can’t do this.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mark:</b> Yep. Yep, that’s what I didn’t want to know.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, oh, Mark, I’m doing this for the wrong reasons, y'know?
|
||
I’m just doing it to get back at Ross. I’m sorry, it’s not very fair to
|
||
you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mark:</b> Ahh! Fair, schmair! Y'know? Look, if you want to get back at Ross, I am
|
||
here for you. Really? No-no, I say-I say, I say we get back at him right on this couch.
|
||
Right here!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh God. I’m sorry about this.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mark:</b> That’s okay.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You sure?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Mark:</b> Yeah. I can just go home and get back at him by myself.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: A Hospital Reception, Monica and Pete are there.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Spokeswoman:</b> ...has become the penicillin of the twenty-first century. And so
|
||
today, this hospital is about to take major steps toward leading that revolution. It is
|
||
truly ironic, on one hand consider the size...</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Pete:</b> (to Monica) Hey, can I ask you something?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Sure.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Pete:</b> Where are we? </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (looks around) Well, with all these doctors and nurses, I’m gonna
|
||
say, midget rodeo.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Pete:</b> Just tell me the truth.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay. Umm, y'know, I don’t think, I don’t think I told you
|
||
this, but umm, I just got out of a really serious relationship.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Pete:</b> Oh, yeah. Wasn’t that like a year ago?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> So I did tell you. Okay, y'know, that really isn’t the thing. Umm,
|
||
the thing is that, right now I’m just in a place in my life where I need to focus on
|
||
me. Y'know what I mean?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Pete:</b> Oh, yeah. I know that.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I so wanna be attracted to you.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Pete:</b> But you’re not. Okay, good.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I’m sorry.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Pete:</b> Y'know what, don’t be. This is not, don’t be, ‘cause
|
||
it’s not so bad.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> It’s not?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="left"><b>Pete:</b> I know I’m no John Bon Jovi, (Monica laughs) or someone
|
||
who find attractive, I’m just, I think, y'know, that you might end up feeling
|
||
differently.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, um, look I-I don’t want this to come our wrong, but ah, you
|
||
seem awfully confident for a guy I just told I wasn’t attracted too.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Pete:</b> Yeah, stupidly charming isn’t’ it? Well listen let’s, you
|
||
wanna get something to eat? ‘Cause this place is kinda <b>de</b>pressing. (they start
|
||
to leave)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Spokeswoman:</b> And the man who made all this possible... Mr. Peter Becker.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Pete:</b> (to Monica) One second.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(He takes the scissors, cuts the ribbon, shakes her hand, posses for the picture, and
|
||
leaves.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting in one of the black chairs, and turns
|
||
to face the other one.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I don’t think this town is big enough for both of us to relax in.
|
||
(He blows on his hand) Draw!! (He quickly pulls the lever to raise the foot rest, like a
|
||
gunfighter in a Western.) </p>
|
||
|
||
<p>(Joey enters.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (to Joey) I wasn’t doing anything. (Joey starts angrily throwing
|
||
his stuff down.) Uh-oh, what did she do now?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Just because she went to Yale drama, she thinks she’s like the
|
||
greatest actress since, since, sliced bread!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Ah, Sliced Bread, a wonderful Lady MacBeth.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> God, I just, I hate her! I hate her!! With her, ‘Oh, I’m so
|
||
talented.’ and ‘Oh, I’m so pretty,’ and ‘Ooh, I smell so
|
||
good.’</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I think somebody has a crush on somebody.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, Chandler, can we please stay focused on my problem here?! Y'know?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I’m talking about you. You big, big freak.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh. (realises) Ohh. Ohh, you’re out of your mind.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, you have nothing but talk about her for the last 48 hours! If you
|
||
were in a school yard you’d be pulling her pigtails and pushing her down now!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, yeah?! Then how come I keep thinking about her in all these sexual
|
||
scenarios and stuff huh?!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: The Theatre, Kate and Joey are rehearsing the same scene as before.] </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Kate:</b> Happy?! Is that what I’m supposed to be Vic? Happy?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, why don’t you tell me what you’re supposed to be! Huh?
|
||
Because I sure as hell can’t figure it out! I talk to you and it’s nothin’.
|
||
You look at me, and nothin’. (He kisses her, more passionately this time) Nothing.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>The Director:</b> You guys make me fly! High! Okay, we’re gonna pick it up
|
||
here, tomorrow.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Kate:</b> Well, that was ah...</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Better?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Kate:</b> Yeah! Yeah, it was definitely an improvement. G’night.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Ah, Kate? </p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Kate:</b> Yeah?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> You ah, you forgot your shoes.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Kate:</b> (she giggles) I’m probably gonna need those. Huh? (she giggles some
|
||
more)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, listen you ah....</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Kate:</b> Hmm?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> ...feel like getting a cup of coffee?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Kate:</b> Umm.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>The Director:</b> (leaning in) Kate?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Kate:</b> Yep.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>The Director:</b> You ready to go?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Kate:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>The Director:</b> (to Joey) Very nice. Very nice. (he walks away)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Kate:</b> So umm, I’ll see you tomorrow, huh?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, yeah sure, goodnight.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen chopping vegetables. Chandler and
|
||
Phoebe are sitting in the living room.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (to Chandler) Hey! (Chandler looks up, startled) Why isn’t it
|
||
Spiderman? Y’know like Goldman, Silverman...</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> ‘Cause it’s-it’s not his last name.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> It isn’t?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> No, it’s not like, like Phil Spiderman. He’s a spider, man.
|
||
Y'know like ah, like Goldman is a last name, but there’s no Gold Man.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, okay. There should be Gold Man!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (entering) Hey!</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey, Rach, how was work?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, great. Although I did sit down where there wasn’t a chair.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> By the way, Ross dropped by a box of your stuff.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, well, I guess I had that one coming. I’m just gonna throw it
|
||
out, it’s probably just a bunch of shampoo and... (she opens the box and stops)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Something wrong?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (She takes the T-shirt out of the box and holds it to her chest and take
|
||
a deep breath.) No. Nothing. (She smiles and goes into her room.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><b>Closing Credits</b> </p>
|
||
|
||
<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe and Chandler are sitting in the black chairs.]</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> So, ahh, what kind of powers would Gold Man have?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay well, he would turn things to gold.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> What about things that are already gold?</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ahh, his work is done.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Okay, let’s play my game now.</p>
|
||
|
||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay. All right you yellow-bellied-lilly-livered-DRAW!! (they both kick
|
||
up the foot rests like an old fashioned gun fight.)</p>
|
||
|
||
<p align="center"><b>End</b></p>
|
||
|
||
|
||
</body></html> |