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<!-- saved from url=(0055)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season1/107towbo.htm -->
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<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
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<title>The One With the Blackout</title>
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<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
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<body bgcolor="white" text="black" link="green" vlink="black" alink="yellow" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
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<h1 align="center">The One With the Blackout</h1>
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<hr align="center">
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<p>Written by: Jeffrey Astrof and Mike Sikowitz.<br>
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Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Ruth Curran</a></p>
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<hr>
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<font size="3">
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<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is introducing Phoebe, who is playing her guitar for the
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crowd.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Everybody? Shh, shhh. Uhhh... Central Perk is proud to present the music
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of Miss Phoebe Buffay.</p>
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<p>(applause)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hi. Um, I want to start with a song thats about that moment when you
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suddenly realize what life is all about. OK, here we go. (plays a chord, then the lights
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go out) OK, thank you very much.</p>
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<p>[Scene: The ATM vestibule of a bank, Chandler is inside. The lights go out, and he
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realizes he is trapped inside.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, <b>great</b>. This is just...</p>
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<p>(Chandler sees that there is a gorgeous model inside the vestibule with him. He makes a
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gesture of quiet exuberance.)</p>
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<h3 align="center">Opening Credits</h3>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone with her mother. Phoebe, Rachel,
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and Ross are there.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Wow, this is so cool, you guys. The entire city is blacked out!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Mom says it's all of Manhattan, parts of Brooklyn and Queens, and they
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have no idea when it's coming back on.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Wow, you guys, this is big.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (into phone) Pants and a sweater? Why, mom? Who am I gonna meet in a
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blackout? Power company guys? Eligible looters? Could we talk about this later? OK. (hangs
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up)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Can I borrow the phone? I want to call my apartment and check on my
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grandma. (to Monica) What's my number? </p>
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<p>(Monica and Rachel look at Phoebe strangely.)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well, I never call <b>me</b>.</p>
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<p>[Scene: ATM vestibule, Jill Goodacre is on the cellular phone. Chandler's thoughts are
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in italics.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> <i>Oh my God, it's that Victoria's Secret model. Something...
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something Goodacre.</i></p><i>
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</i><p><i></i><b>Jill:</b> (on phone) Hi Mom, it's Jill.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> <i>She's right, it's Jill. Jill Goodacre. Oh my God. I am trapped in
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an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! </i>(pause)<i> Is it a vestibule? Maybe it's an
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atrium. Oh, yeah, <b>that</b> is the part to focus on, you idiot!</i></p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> (on phone) Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just stuck at the bank, in an ATM
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vestibule.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> <i>Jill says vestibule... I'm going with vestibule.</i></p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> (on phone) I'm fine. No, I'm not alone... I don't know, some guy.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> <i>Oh! Some guy. Some guy. 'Hey Jill, I saw you with some guy last
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night. Yes, he was <b>some guy</b>. </i></p>
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<p>(Chandler strides proudly across the vestibule and Jill stares at him.)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica's apartment, Joey enters with a menorah, the candles lit.]</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hi everyone.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> And officiating at tonight's blackout, is Rabbi Tribbiani.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Well, Chandler's old roomate was Jewish, and these are the only candles we
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have, so... Happy Chanukah, everyone.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (at window) Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles.</p>
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<p>(They all look at the window, grossed out, then flinch in pain.)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> That had to hurt!</p>
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<p>[Scene: ATM vestibule.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> <i>Alright, alright, alright. It's been fourteen and a half minutes
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and you still have not said one word. Oh God, do something. Just make contact, smile!</i></p>
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<p>(Chandler smiles at her, she smiles back sweetly.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> <i>There you go!</i></p>
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<p>(He continues to smile like an idiot, and she looks frightened.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> <i>You're definitely scaring here.</i></p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> (awkwardly) Would you like to call somebody? (offering phone)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> <i>Yeah, about 300 guys I went to high school with.</i> Yeah, thanks.
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(takes phone)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The phone rings; it's Chandler.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hello?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey, it's me.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (to everyone) It's Chandler! (on phone) Are you OK?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, I'm fine. (trying to cover up what he is saying) I'm trppd in an
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ATM vstbl wth <b>Jll Gdcr</b>.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> What?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I'm trppd... in an ATM vstbl... wth <b>Jll Gdcr</b>!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> I have no idea what you just said.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (angry) Put Joey on the phone.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> What's up man?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> I'm trppd... in an ATM vstbl... wth <b>JLL GDCR</b>.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (to everyone) Oh my God! He's trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill
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Goodacre! (on phone) Chandler, listen. (says something intentionally garbled)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, like that thought never entered my mind.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time has passed. The five are sitting around the coffee
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table talking.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Alright, somebody.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> OK, I'll go. OK, senior year of college... on a pool table.</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Whoooaa!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> That's my sister.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> OK... my weirdest place would have to be... the women's room on the second
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floor of the New York CIty public library.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh my God! What were you doing in a library?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Pheebs, what about you?</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh... Milwaukee.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Um... Ross?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Disneyland, 1989, 'It's a Small World After All.'</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> No way!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> The ride broke down. So, Carol and I went behind a couple of those
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mechanical Dutch children... then they fixed the ride, and we were asked never to return
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to the Magic Kingdom.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, Rachel.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh come on, I already went.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> You did not go!</p>
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<p><b>All:</b> Come on.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, alright. The weirdest place would have to be... (sigh)... oh, the
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foot of the bed. </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Step back.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> We have a winner!</p>
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<p>[Time lapse, Ross and Rachel are talking, Joey is on the couch, and Monica and Phoebe
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are out of the room.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I just never had a relationship with that kind of passion, you know,
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where you have to have somebody right there, in the middle of a theme park.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, it was the only thing to do there that didn't have a line.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> There, well, see? Barry wouldn't even kiss me on a miniature golf
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course. </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Come on.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> No, he said we were holding up the people behind us.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (sarcastically) And you didn't marry him because...?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I mean, do you think there are people who go through life never having
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that kind of...</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Probably. But you know, I'll tell you something. Passion is way overrated.
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</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Yeah right.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> It is. Eventually, it kind of... burns out. But hopefully, what you're
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left with is trust, and security, and... well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. So,
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you know, for all of those people who miss out on that passion... thing, there's all that
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other good stuff.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (sigh) OK.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> But, um... I don't think that's going to be you.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> You don't.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh-uh. See, I see.... big passion in your future.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Really?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Mmmm.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> You do?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I do.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh Ross, you're so great. (she playfully rubs his head and gets up)</p>
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<p>(Ross gets up, pleased with himself.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> It's never gonna happen.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (innocently) What?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> You and Rachel.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (acts surprised) What? (pause) Why not?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Because you waited too long to make your move, and now you're in the <b>friend
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zone</b>. </p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> No, no, no. I'm not in the zone.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Ross, you're mayor of the zone.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I'm taking my time, alright? I'm laying the groundwork. Yeah. I mean,
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every day I get just a little bit closer to...</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Priesthood! Look Ross, I'm telling you, she has no idea what you're
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thinking. If you don't ask her out soon you're going to end up stuck in the zone forever.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I will, I will. See, I'm waiting for the right moment. (Joey looks at him)
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What? What, now?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeeeeaaaahhh! What's messing you up? The wine? The candles? The moonlight?
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You've just got to go up to her and say, 'Rachel, I think that...' (Rachel comes into the
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room behind them)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Shhhh!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> What are you shushing?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> We're shushing... because... we're trying to hear something. Listen.
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(everyone is silent) Don't you hear that?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ahhhh!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> See?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Huh. (she agrees, but looks very confused)</p>
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<p>[Scene: ATM vestibule.]</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> Would you like some gum?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Um, is it sugarless?</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> (checks) Sorry, it's not.</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, then no thanks. <i>What the hell was that? Mental note: If Jill
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Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take
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it.</i></p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica's apartment, Phoebe is singing.]</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (singing) New York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour. But
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to me it is not scary, 'cause I stay away from dairy.... la la la, la la, la la... (she
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writes the lyrics down)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (to Joey) OK, here goes.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Are you going to do it?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> I'm going to do it.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Do you want any help?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> You come out there, you're a dead man.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Good luck, man.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Thanks. (Joey hugs him) OK.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> OK. (Ross goes out on the balcony to talk to Rachel)</p>
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<p>(Monica walks in, starts to go out on the balcony.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, where are you going?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Outside.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> You can't go out there.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Why not?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Because of... the reason.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> And that would be?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> I, um, can't tell you.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Joey, what's going on?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> OK, you've got to promise that you'll never, ever tell Ross that I told
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you.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> About what?</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> He's planning your birthday party.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh my God! I love him!</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> (as Phoebe enters) You'd better act surprised.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> About what?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> My surprise party!</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What surprise party?</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh stop it. Joey already told me.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well, he didn't tell me.</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, don't look at me. This is Ross's thing.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> This is so typical. I'm always the last one to know everything.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> No, you are not. We tell you stuff.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Yuh-huh! I was the last one to know when Chandler got bitten by the
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peacock at the zoo. I was the last one to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was
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moving in. (Monica gestures at Phoebe to shut up; Joey looks surprised but pleased) Looks
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like I was second to last.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Ross and Rachel are talking.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hmmm... this is so nice.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> OK, I have a question. Well, actually, it's not so much a question as..
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more of a general wondering... ment.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> OK.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> OK. Here goes. For a while now, I've been wanting to, um....</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohhh!!!! (looking at something behind Ross)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Yes, yes, that's right...</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, look at the little cat! (a small kitten is on the roof behind Ross)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> What? (the cat jumps on his shoulders) Ow!</p>
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<p>[Cut to inside. Monica, Joey and Phoebe are singing while outside, Ross and Rachel are
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trying to get the cat off of Ross' shoulder.]</p>
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<p><strong>Monica, Joey, and</strong> <b>Phoebe:</b> (singing) <i>I'm on top of the world,
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looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find, is the wonders I've found
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ever since...</i></p>
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<h3 align="center">Commercial Break</h3>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is holding the cat, Monica is treating the
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scratches on Ross' back. Joey is holding the menorah over the wound.]</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (to Ross) This is just Bactine. It won't hurt.</p>
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<p>(Ross flinches in pain.)</p>
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<p><b>Joey:</b> Sorry, that was wax.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, poor little Tooty is scared to death. We should find his owner.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Why don't we just put 'poor little Tooty' out in the hall?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> During a blackout? He'd get trampled!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (nonchalantly) Yeah?</p>
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<p>[Scene: ATM vestibule.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. (Jill gives him
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a stick of gum, and a strange look) <i>'Gum would be perfection'? 'Gum would be
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perfection.' Could have said 'gum would be nice,' or 'I'll have a stick,' but no, no, no,
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no. For me, gum is <b>perfection</b>. I loathe myself.</i></p>
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<p>[Scene: The hallway of Monica's building. Phoebe and Rachel are trying to find the
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cat's owner.]</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (stops at a door) Oh no, the Mendels, they hate all living things,
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right?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh. (they knock at the next door, Mr. Heckles answers) Hi. We just found
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this cat and we're looking for the owner.</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Heckles:</b> Er, yeah, it's mine.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (trying to hold back the struggling cat) He seems to hate you. Are you
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sure?</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Heckles:</b> Yeah, it's my cat. Give me my cat.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wait a minute. What's his name?</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Heckles:</b> Ehhhh... B-Buttons.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Bob Buttons?</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Heckles:</b> Mmm. Bob Buttons. Here, Bob Buttons.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (the cat runs away from her) Oooh! You are a very bad man!</p>
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<p><b>Mr. Heckles:</b> (as Phoebe and Rachel leave) You owe me a cat.</p>
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<p>[Scene: Rachel has gone off on her own to look for the cat's owner.]</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Here, kitty-kitty. Here kitty-kitty. Where did you go, little
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kitty-kitty-kitty? Here kitty-kitty-kitty-kitty...</p>
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<p>(While looking at the floor for the cat, Rachel runs into a pair of legs. She slowly
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gets up and sees a gorgeous Italian hunk holding the cat. Who, by the way, you'll hate
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very, very soon. The man. Not the cat.)</p>
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<p><strong>Paolo:</strong> (something Italian)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Wow. (she exhales in amazement, blowing the candle out)</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Monica, and Joey are playing <i>Monopoly</i>.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (rolling) Lucky sixes....</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (entering with Paolo, arm in arm) Everybody, this is Paolo. Paolo, I
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want you to meet my friends. This is Monica.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> (smitten) Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> And Joey....</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hi!</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> And Ross.</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> Hi!</p>
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<p><strong>Paolo:</strong> (something in Italian)</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (proudly) He doesn't speak much English.</p>
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<p><strong>Paolo:</strong> (pointing at game) <em>Monopoly</em>! </p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Look at that!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (jealous) So, um... where did Paolo come from?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh... Italy, I think.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> No, I mean tonight, in the building. Suddenly. Into our lives.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, the cat... the cat turned out to be Paolo's cat!</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> That, that is funny... (to Joey).... and Rachel keeps touching him.</p>
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<p>(Phoebe enters.)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Alright. I looked all over the building and I couldn't find the kitty
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anywhere.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, I found him. He was Paolo's cat.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ah! Well! There you go! Last to know again! And I'm guessing... since
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nobody told me... this is Paolo.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ah, Paolo, this is Phoebe.</p>
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<p><strong>Paolo:</strong> (something in Italian, he is apparently attracted to Phoebe)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (smiling) You betcha!</p>
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<p>[Scene: ATM vestibule.]</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (chewing gum) <i>Ah, let's see. What next? Blow a bubble. A bubble's
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good. It's got a... boyish charm, it's impish. Here we go.</i></p>
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<p>(Chandler waits until Jill is looking, then starts to blow a bubble. But instead of
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blow one, he accidentally spits the gum out of his mouth and hits the wall.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> <i>Nice going, imp. OK, it's OK. All I need to do is reach over and
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put it in my mouth.</i> (Chandler slyly grabs the gum from the wall and slides it back in
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his mouth.)</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> <i>Good save! We're back on track, and I'm...</i> (grimacing) <i>..chewing
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someone else's gum. <b>This is not my gum</b>. Oh my God! Oh my God! And now you're
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choking.</i> </p>
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<p>(Chandler starts to choke.)</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> Are you alright?</p>
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<p>(Chandler tries to save face and makes the 'OK' sign with his hands, while obviously
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unable to breathe.)</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> My God, you're choking! (she runs over and gives him the Heimlich, the gum
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|
flies from his mouth) That better?</p>
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<p><b>Chandler:</b> (gasping) Yes... thank you. That was... that was....</p>
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<p><b>Jill:</b> Perfection?</p>
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<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Paolo are at the window. Ross and Joey are
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watching disgustedly.]</p>
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<p><strong>Paolo:</strong> (something romantic in Italian about Rachel and the stars)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> (mocking Paolo) Blah blah blah, blah blah blah... blah blaaaaaah....</p>
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<p>(Rachel walks away from Paolo, laughing.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Wha-What did he say that was so funny?</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> I have absolutely no idea.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> That's... that's classic.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> (to Monica and Phoebe) Oh my God, you guys, what am I doing? What am I
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|
doing? This is so un-me!</p>
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<p><b>Monica:</b> If you want, I'll do it.</p>
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<p>(Ross looks at Joey.)</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I know, I just want to bite his bottom lip. (Rachel looks at her) But I
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|
won't.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> God, the first time he smiled at me... those three seconds were more
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|
exciting than three weeks in Bermuda with Barry.</p>
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<p><b>Phoebe:</b> You know, did you ride mopeds? 'Cause I've heard... (they stare at
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|
her)... oh, I see... it's not about that right now. OK.</p>
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<p><b>Rachel:</b> Y'know, I know it's totally superficial and we have absolutely nothing
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|
in common, and we don't even speak the same language but Goooooooddddddd....</p>
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<p>[Cut to the other side of the apartment, Ross has gone over to straighten things out
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|
with Paolo.]</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Paolo. Hi.</p>
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<p><strong>Paolo:</strong> Ross!</p>
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<p>(Ross notices that Paolo is standing on a step, which makes him taller. Ross gets up on
|
|
the same step so he can look down at Paolo.)</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Listen. Um, listen. Something you should... know... um, Rachel and I...
|
|
we're kind of a thing.</p>
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<p><strong>Paolo:</strong> Thing?</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> Thing, yes. Thing.</p>
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<p><strong>Paolo:</strong> Ah, you... have the sex?</p>
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|
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|
<p><b>Ross:</b> No, no, no. Technically the... sex is not... being had, but that's... see,
|
|
that's not the point. See, um, the point is that... Rachel and I should be, er, together.
|
|
You know, and if you get in the.... um... </p>
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|
<p><strong>Paolo:</strong> Bed?</p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>Ross:</b> No, no, that's not where I was going. Er, if you get in the... <b>way</b>,
|
|
of us becoming a thing, then I would be, well, very sad.</p>
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<p><strong>Paolo:</strong> Oh!</p>
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|
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah! <i>Se vice</i>?</p>
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<p><strong>Paolo:</strong> Si.</p>
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<p><b>Ross:</b> So you do know a little English.</p>
|
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|
<p><strong>Paolo:</strong> Poco... a leetle.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Ross:</b> Do you know the word <i>crapweasel</i>?</p>
|
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|
<p><strong>Paolo:</strong> No.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Ross:</b> That's funny, because you know, you are a huge crapweasel!</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(They hug.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: ATM vestibule, Chandler and Jill are sitting below the counter with two pens
|
|
dangling from their chains in front of them. Jill is showing Chandler how to swing the pen
|
|
around his head.]</p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>Jill:</b> Chandler, we've been here for an hour doing this! Now watch, it's easy.</p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>Chandler:</b> OK.</p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>Jill:</b> Ready? (she swings the pen around her head in a circle)</p>
|
|
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|
<p>(Chandler tries to do the same thing but the pen hits him in the head.)</p>
|
|
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|
<p><b>Jill:</b> No, you've got to whip it. </p>
|
|
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|
<p>(He swings the pen hard, and it snaps back and almost hits him again.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is all sitting around the table.]</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, look look look. The last candle's about to burn out. 10, 9, 8, 7...
|
|
(time lapse)... negative 46, negative 47, negative 48.... (someone blows it out, the room
|
|
gets completely dark)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Ross:</b> Thank you.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Thanks.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Ross:</b> Kinda... spooky without any lights.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Joey:</b> (does a maniacal laugh) Bwah-hah-hah!</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(Everyone starts to imitate him.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Ross:</b> OK, guys, guys? I have the definitive one. Mwwwooooo-hah-hah...</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(The lights come back on, and Rachel and Paolo are making out. Ross clutches his
|
|
chest.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh.. oh... oh.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey Ross. This probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but you have
|
|
to throw a party for Monica.</p>
|
|
|
|
<h3 align="center">Closing Credits</h3>
|
|
|
|
<p>[Scene: ATM vestibule, the power has come back on.]</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Jill:</b> Well, this has been fun.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes. Yes, thanks for letting me use your phone... and for saving my
|
|
life.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Jill:</b> Well, goodbye Chandler. I had a great blackout. (she kisses him on the
|
|
cheek) See ya.</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>(She leaves. Chandler presses his face to the glass door after her, stroking the window
|
|
lovingly. He then turns to the security camera and starts talking to it.)</p>
|
|
|
|
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hi, um, I'm account number 7143457. And, uh, I don't know if you got
|
|
any of that, but I would really like a copy of the tape.</p>
|
|
</font>
|
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<p align="center"><strong><font size="3">End</font></strong></p>
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</body></html> |