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<!-- saved from url=(0055)http://www.livesinabox.com/friends/season3/320towdh.htm -->
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<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=windows-1252">
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<title>The One With The Dollhouse</title>
|
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<style id="holderjs-style" type="text/css"></style><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="chrome-extension://pioclpoplcdbaefihamjohnefbikjilc/content.css"></head>
|
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<body bgcolor="white" text="black" link="green" vlink="black" alink="yellow" class=" __plain_text_READY__">
|
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|
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<h1 align="center">The One With The Dollhouse</h1>
|
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|
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<hr align="center">
|
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|
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<p>Written by: Wil Calhoun<br>
|
||||
Transcribed by: <a href="mailto:Ericaasen1@aol.com">Eric Aasen</a></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<hr>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are there.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Wait a minute, wait. You<6F>re telling me this actress person is the
|
||||
only woman you ever wanted who didn<64>t want you back?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah! Oh my God! (to Chandler) Is this what it<69>s like to be you?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Wow, you<6F>re really crazy about her, huh?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, you have no idea. And-and when we<77>re on stage I get to-to kiss
|
||||
her and-and touch her, but then she goes home with the director, and it<69>s like
|
||||
somebody<EFBFBD>s ripping out my heart!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, it<69>s so <b>great</b> to see you feeling like this!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> (entering) Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>All:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Monica, uh Dad called this morning and ah, Aunt Silvia passed away.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Yes!! Yes! Yeah, yeah, yeah!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> We were all pretty shaken up about it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wait, am I missing something though? <20>Cause I thought death was
|
||||
something that<61>s supposed to be sad, in a way.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well ah, Aunt Silvia was, well not a nice person.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, she was a cruel, cranky, old bitch! (Ross gives her a look) (to
|
||||
Ross) And I<>m sorry she died. Did Dad say I get the dollhouse?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> You get the dollhouse.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I get the dollhouse!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Wow, a house for dolls, that is so cool! When I was kid, I had a barrel.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Uh, Pheebs, you had a barrel for a dollhouse?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, just a barrel.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Y'know what, you can play with my dollhouse.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Really?! Really?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Any time you want. Y'know, when I was younger, all I wanted to do was to
|
||||
play with this dollhouse, but no!! It was to be looked at, but never played with.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> My Grandmother used to say that exact same thing to me.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><b>Opening Credits</b></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Rachel<65>s office, Chandler and her are coming back from lunch.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hey, Sophie!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Sophie:</b> Hey, Rach!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hey.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Sophie:</b> Hey.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Thanks for lunch, Chandler. Y'know, you didn<64>t have to walk me all
|
||||
the way back up here.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, that<61>s-that<61>s okay, no problem. (He starts to look
|
||||
around her office.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Honey um, honey, you do realise that we don<6F>t keep the women<65>s
|
||||
lingerie here in the office?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yes, I realise that.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Summer catalogue! (hands him the catalogue)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> That<61>s the stuff! (quickly grabs it)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Rachel<65>s boss, Joanna, enters]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> Rachel, I need the <em>Versachi</em> invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You
|
||||
don<EFBFBD>t work for me.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (introduces them) Joanna, this is my friend Chandler Bing (to Chandler)
|
||||
Joanna.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> Bing! That<61>s a great name.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Thanks, it<69>s ah, Gaelic, for <20>Thy turkey<65>s done.<2E>
|
||||
So ah, I<>m gonna go, nice, nice meeting you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> Me too.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Bye, Chandler.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> (to Rachel) So ah, what<61>s wrong with him?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, nothing, he<68>s just goofy like that, I actually, hardly notice
|
||||
it anymore.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> Oh no, no-no-no, is he ah, married, or involved with anyone?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No!! No! He<48>s not married, or involved, with anyone!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> Oh, Rachel, (pause) actually, y'know what, forget it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, I<>ll ask him for you, if you want me too?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> Would you? Or, is it just to sad and desperate, and y'know something
|
||||
that Sophie would do?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Sophie:</b> Uh, uh, uh, I am here.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> I know that.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is showing off her new dollhouse. It<49>s a huge
|
||||
dollhouse, that takes up the entire living room table.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Look at it! Ohhh! Wallpaper<65>s a little faded, that<61>s okay.
|
||||
Carpet<EFBFBD>s a little loose. Hardwood floors!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (entering) Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Hello.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh! Ooh! Oh Monica! It<49>s so beautiful.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I know!!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> So, I<>m here, ready to play.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> I brought a bunch of stuff for the house, so check it out. Ha-ha. (She
|
||||
removes this large ceramic dog that comes up to the second floor and places it next to the
|
||||
house.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> What<61>s this?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> That<61>s a dog, every house should have a dog.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Not one that can pee on the roof.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well, maybe it<69>s so big because the house was built on radioactive
|
||||
waste.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (holding a tissue) And is this in case the house sneezes?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> No, no, that<61>s the ghost for the attic.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> I don<6F>t want a ghost.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Well, nobody wants a ghost. But you<6F>ve got one, because the house
|
||||
is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Wait a minute, the house was built on radioactive waste, and an ancient
|
||||
Indian burial ground? That would never happen.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, obviously you don<6F>t know much about the U.S. government.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (entering) Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>All:</b> Hello.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I need to talk to you!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Sure, what<61>s up?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, sorry. I meant Chandler.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I-I know. Well if something comes up... (walks away)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh, I'm glad you guys are past that little awkward phase.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, my boss, Joanna, when you left, she started asking questions about
|
||||
you...</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Oh-ho, liked what she saw, huh? Dug my action, did she? Checkin<69>
|
||||
out the Chan-Chan man!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (looks at him) That was (pause) surreal. Okay, what do think? Are you
|
||||
interested at all?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, she seemed cool, attractive. I<>ll do it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh thank you, Chandler, this is so great, she<68>s gonna love me.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (holding a dinosaur) Okay, dinosaur attack!! Quick, everybody into the
|
||||
house!! Ahh-ahh! (the dinosaur starts attacking the house. She starts to bark like a dog.)
|
||||
Roof! Rrroof-roof-roof!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Okay, Phoebe, y'know what? That-that<61>s it, that<61>s it, all
|
||||
right? No dinosaurs, no ghosts, no giant dogs, okay? They<65>re not the right size,
|
||||
they<EFBFBD>re not Victorian, and they just don<6F>t go.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Okay, (starts to pack up her stuff) fine. Come dinosaur, we<77>re not
|
||||
welcome in the house of no imagination.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Uh, Pheebs, while we<77>re hovering around the subject. I just have to
|
||||
say dinosaurs, they-they don<6F>t go, rrroof!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> The little ones do.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are getting ready to rehearse the play.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, Kate!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kate:</b> Morning.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Listen, I ah, went to that restaurant that you were talking about last
|
||||
week...</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>The Director:</b> Hey, lovely! Come, talk to me a minute! (she goes over to him)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (to himself) And I ate the food, I had the fish, it was good, yeah. It was
|
||||
good, yeah...</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Woman:</b> Hi, oh, I<>m Lauren, Kate<74>s understudy.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, hey! Joey Tribbiani.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lauren:</b> I know! I-I<>m a big fan of yours.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (looks at her, shocked) What?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lauren:</b> I used to umm, schedule my classes so I could watch Dr. Drake Remoray on
|
||||
<i>Days of Our Lives</i>.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Get out of here, really?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lauren:</b> Absolutely!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah? </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lauren:</b> Oh but then, they went and dropped you down that elevator shaft.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> They gave me the shaft all right.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lauren:</b> (laughing) Oh, you<6F>re so funny. Listen, umm, what are you doing
|
||||
after rehearsals? Do you want to get a drink, or something?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Well Ahh, (he sees Kate and the director kissing) yeah! Yeah, sure, a
|
||||
drink sounds great.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lauren:</b> Cool! I-I<>ll see you then.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> All right.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>The Director:</b> All right, it<69>s time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and
|
||||
Kate just look at each other.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with her own dollhouse, that she made
|
||||
herself.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey! </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>All:</b> Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Look everybody, look at my new dollhouse!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Wow!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Look, look! (She lifts up the roof, and the front panel falls revealing
|
||||
the interior.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hey, what<61>s this?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Oh, okay, it<69>s the slide instead of stairs. Watch this. (She slides
|
||||
a doll down the slide)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> It<49>s very interesting, Phoebe.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What<61>s this?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> The Licorice Room, you can eat all the furniture. And, when guests come
|
||||
over, they can stay on the tootsie roll-away bed.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> This is the coolest house ever!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Monica is looking on with a hurt expression on her face.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Hey, does anybody want to join me in the aroma room? (lights some
|
||||
incense)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> All right!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> I would!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hey, guys, guys, did you see my new, china cabinet?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross and Rachel:</b> Uh-huh.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Watch, watch. (She turns a strand of Christmas lights strung around the
|
||||
house.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross and Rachel:</b> Ooohhhh!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> And, and! (She turns on a bubble maker.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross and Rachel:</b> Ahhhh!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (entering) Hey, my Father<65>s house does that!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (to Chandler) O-o-o-okay, how did it go? Tell me everything.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, the movie was great, dinner was great, and there<72>s nothing
|
||||
like a cool, crisp New York evening. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Hmm.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Of course, I didn<64>t get to enjoy any of that, because
|
||||
Joanna<EFBFBD>s such a <b>big, dull dud</b>!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Rachel<65>s office, Joanna<6E>s telling Rachel, her side of the story.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> Chandler is fantastic!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> What?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> Oh God, we just clicked! Y<>know how people just click? Like he came
|
||||
by to pick me up, and I opened the door, and it was just like, click! Did he tell you?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, I....</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> Oh, and he<68>s got such a good heart! Doesn<73>t he have a good
|
||||
heart?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Oh, I know...</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> Oh, I know and he<68>s soo sweet! Listen, he said he was going to
|
||||
call, so put him straight through.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Sophie:</b> Isn<73>t this great?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> Don<6F>t spoil it.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are rehearsing.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Come on baby, don<6F>t go. Please? What do you say?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[A phone rings.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>The Director:</b> (answering the phone) Hello. Oh! It<49>s you. Just ah, just
|
||||
one-one sec. (to Joey and Kate) I am going to take this call. When I continue, I hope that
|
||||
there will appear on stage this magical thing that in the theatre we call, <b>committing
|
||||
to the moment</b>! (He goes to take the call.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (to Kate) That guy<75>s like a cartoon. What do you see in him anyway?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kate:</b> He happens to be brilliant. Which is more than I can say for that sweater
|
||||
you<EFBFBD>re dating.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, I<>m not interested in her sweater! It<49>s what<61>s
|
||||
underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>m going out with?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kate:</b> I don<6F>t care. Why, do you want me to care?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Do you want me to want you to care?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kate:</b> Do you?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> What?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>The Director:</b> (returning) Okay, I<>m afraid to say this, but let<65>s pick
|
||||
it up where we left off.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[They resume rehearsing.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Come on baby, don<6F>t go. Please? What do you say?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kate:</b> I<>ve got no reason to stay. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Joey grabs her and kisses her.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>The Director:</b> Stop!! Stop it! You must stop! You are bad actors! This is a
|
||||
terrible play! I<>ll see you in the morning. (exits)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kate:</b> I can<61>t believe we go on in, in a week.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey, it<69>s gonna be all right.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lauren:</b> (to Joey) Hey! So since we<77>re getting off early, do you want to go
|
||||
and paint mugs?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> What?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lauren:</b> You know! At the place I told you about last night?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, yeah, with the mug painting. Yeah. I was so listening to that. But ah,
|
||||
y'know what, I think I kinda need to work on my stuff tonight.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lauren:</b> Oh, okay.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay. (he gives her a peck on the cheek)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lauren:</b> I<>ll see you tomorrow. (she kisses him full on the mouth.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Okay.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lauren:</b> G<>night. (exits)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (to Kate) Ah, are you okay?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kate:</b> Yeah, I guess. Look, what are we gonna do about this scene, huh?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> I don<6F>t know.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kate:</b> Well umm, maybe if it had more heat.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> How do you mean?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kate:</b> Well, Adrian<61>s looking for a reason to stay, right? Victor can<61>t
|
||||
just kiss her, he<68>s gotta, gotta really give her a reason, y'know?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Maybe he could slip her the tongue.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kate:</b> Or maybe, maybe he could grab her, and, and, and, and lift her up.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah, yeah, and then Adrian, she maybe she could wrap her legs around his
|
||||
waist.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kate:</b> And then she could rip off his shirt and kiss his chest, and, and his
|
||||
stomach!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> And then, then he could use his teeth, his teeth to undo her dress, and,
|
||||
and, and bite her!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kate:</b> And then right, right when the scene ends, he could take her with this
|
||||
raw, animal....</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[cut to Joey<65>s bedroom, Joey and Kate are emerging from under the covers.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Something like that?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kate:</b> Yeah, that<61>s pretty much what I had in mind.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><b>Commercial Break</b></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are eating breakfast as Joey enters, very
|
||||
happily.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (to Ross) Hey.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hi.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (to Monica) Hey. </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(He walks up behind Monica and gives her a big hug and a kiss on the neck.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Hi.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(He walks over behind Ross, thinks about it for a moment, and gives him a big hug.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> It<49>s a little early to be drinkin<69>.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> No-no, things ah, finally happened with Kate.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Ohhhhh!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> You<6F>re kidding?! That<61>s great!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Oh, it was so amazing. After the (pause) love making...</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh my.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Yep. I just, I just watched her sleep for like hours, just breathing in
|
||||
and breathing out. And then I knew she was dreaming <20>cause, <20>cause her eyes keep
|
||||
going like this. (He closes his eyes and moves them around, kinda like he<68>s been
|
||||
processed by the devil, or something.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (entering with Rachel) I<>m telling ya, Joanna<6E>s got it all
|
||||
wrong. Okay? All I said was, <20>This was fun. Let<65>s do it again sometime.
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>ll give you a call.<2E></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Ohh, gee. I wonder why she thinks you<6F>re going to call her?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> That<61>s what you say at the end of a date.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> You can<61>t just say, <20>Nice to meet you, good night?<3F></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> To her face? Look it<69>s the end of the date, I<>m standing
|
||||
there, I know all she<68>s waiting for is for me to say <20>I<EFBFBD>ll call her<65>
|
||||
and it<69>s just y'know, comes out. I can<61>t help it, it<69>s a compulsion.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Come on Rach, when a guy says he<68>s going to call, it doesn<73>t
|
||||
mean he<68>s going to call. Hasn<73>t it ever happened to you?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well, they always called.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Hmm, bite me.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Rachel<65>s office.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> (entering) Did he call?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No. Sorry.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> Why?! Why?! He said he<68>d call. Why hasn<73>t he called?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Sophie:</b> Maybe he<68>s intimated by really smart, strong, successful women.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> Sophie, would you please climb out of my butt. Why hasn<73>t he
|
||||
called, Rachel? Why?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, okay. Umm, well ah, maybe he, maybe he feels awkward because you
|
||||
are my boss.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> Awkward? Why should he feel awkward?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well...</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> The only person that should feel awkward is you, and you didn<64>t
|
||||
tell him not to call me, did you?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> No. I...</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> Because if you feel uncomfortable with your friend dating someone you
|
||||
work for, there are always ways to fix...that.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading a magazine as Rachel approaches.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (grabbing the magazine out of his hands) Call her! Call her now!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Multiple, so many paper cuts.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Why hasn<73>t he called Rachel? Why? Why? I don<6F>t understand.
|
||||
Why? He said he<68>ll call. Why? Why? Chandler I<>m telling you she has flipped out,
|
||||
she<EFBFBD>s gone crazy!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (sarcastic) Oh, well give me the phone then.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Come on, this isn<73>t funny. She thinks it<69>s my fault that you
|
||||
haven<EFBFBD>t called her. You have to call her!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Look, you can<61>t call somebody after this long just to say,
|
||||
<EFBFBD>In case you didn<64>t notice, I don<6F>t like you!<21></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Well then you<6F>re going to have to take her out again.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Nooo!! She<68>s really dull! And she gets this gross mascara goop
|
||||
thing in the corner of her eye!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I don<6F>t care! I don<6F>t care! You are going to have to take her
|
||||
out again and end it, and end it in way that she knows it<69>s actually ended. And, I
|
||||
don<EFBFBD>t care how hard it is for you, do not tell her that you will call her again!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> All right! Fine! But it<69>s just a lunch date, no more than an
|
||||
hour! And from now on I get my own dates, I don<6F>t want you setting me up with anybody
|
||||
ever again!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> That<61>s fine!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> That<61>s just a lot of big talk, y'know.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> I know.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Mon?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (from the bathroom) I<>m in the shower!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[He closes the door and walks over to get something from the fridge. He starts to smell
|
||||
something and turns around to see Phoebe<62>s dollhouse smoking. He runs over and takes
|
||||
off the roof to reveal that the dollhouse fire.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Oh, fire! There, there<72>s a fire! Fire!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[He tries to blow it out, and obviously, it doesn<73>t work. He runs over to the sink
|
||||
to get a glass of water to put out the fire, but since Monica is in the shower the water
|
||||
pressure is very low and takes a long time to fill the glass. In desperation he takes the
|
||||
half full glass over and dumps it on the fire, it doesn<73>t work. He then picks up the
|
||||
dollhouse and considers bringing it over to the sink, but decides to take it into the
|
||||
bathroom and use the shower to put it out. He kicks open the door and we hear Monica
|
||||
scream at the top of her lungs.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: The Theatre, Kate is arriving for rehearsal.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hey.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kate:</b> Hi.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> So I ah, talked to Lauren, kinda told her how things were with us. Did you
|
||||
ah, did you talk to Marshall?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kate:</b> About what?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Y'know, about what happened with us.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kate:</b> Nooo. And there<72>s really no reason he should find out, so ah
|
||||
let<EFBFBD>s not make a big deal about it, okay?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> What are you talking about? It was a big deal. I mean, come on you
|
||||
can<EFBFBD>t tell me last night didn<64>t mean something to you. I-I was there,
|
||||
you<EFBFBD>re not that good an actress.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kate:</b> Look umm, I, I was, I was just caught up in the moment. That<61>s all it
|
||||
was. Joey, I<>m-I<>m sorry you feel bad, but haven<65>t you ever sleep with a
|
||||
women where it meant more to her than it did to you?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Nooo.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lauren:</b> (entering) Hi, Kate!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Kate:</b> Hi, Lauren.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> Hi, Lauren.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Lauren:</b> Hi, pig!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are inspecting the damage to the
|
||||
dollhouse.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Sorry I ah, I scared you in there.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Oh, that<61>s okay. By the way, I was just checking the shower
|
||||
massager.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Yeah.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (entering) Hey!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> (runs over to her) I tried to reach you at work. There<72>s....been a
|
||||
fire.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> What?! Oh my... (sees the remains of the house) Oh my God!! What
|
||||
happened?!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> Well, we believe it originated here. (He uses a pointer and points to the
|
||||
point of origin.) In the Aroma Room.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> All right. Did everyone get out okay?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Monica:</b> Well, the giraffe<66>s okay. And so is the pirate.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> Ohh. What is this? (She sees a tissue covering something, and moves to
|
||||
remove it.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Ross:</b> No Phoebe, don<6F>t look! You don<6F>t want to see what<61>s under
|
||||
there!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Phoebe:</b> (She pauses to ready herself, and removes the tissue.) Ohh, the-the
|
||||
Foster puppets! </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(She picks up a charred piece of plastic that once was the Foster puppets, and starts
|
||||
to break down. Monica goes over and comforts her.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Rachel<65>s office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date.
|
||||
He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> It<49>s not a big deal. It<49>s, just it<69>s right here,
|
||||
(points to his eye) and it<69>s all the time.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> Well, thanks again for lunch.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> (He looks over at Rachel, who nods her head) Yes, this, this was
|
||||
pleasant.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Rachel is slowing trying to leave and let them talk.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> It was, wasn<73>t it?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> The food there was, was great.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> Wasn<73>t it?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> So take care.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> You too.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well, this was great. I<>ll give you a call. We should do it again
|
||||
sometime. (Rachel is disappointed) </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> Great! I<>m looking forward to it. Rachel, any messages?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Sophie<69>s desk.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Chandler starts to leave ashamed of himself, but Rachel stops him in the hallway.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> (whispering) Chandler!! Are you gonna call her!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Noo! </p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Chandler!!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Look, I<>m sorry. Okay? I<>m weak, and pathetic, and sorry.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Rachel:</b> Okay, you are going to tell her and you<6F>re going to tell her now.
|
||||
(She grabs his nipple and starts to twist it.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Ahhhh<68>I<EFBFBD>m not going to call you.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> What?</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> I<>m sorry. I<>m-I<>m-I<>m sorry that I said I was
|
||||
going to when I<>m not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this
|
||||
isn<EFBFBD>t Rachel<65>s fault. It<49>s me. I have serious, serious problems when it
|
||||
comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And
|
||||
I<EFBFBD>m really sorry, it<69>s just that this is not, this isn<73>t going to work out.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> Well, this isn<73>t how I was hoping how this would end, but I guess I
|
||||
have to appreciate your honesty.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Yeah, o-okay.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joanna:</b> So...</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Chandler:</b> Well this is great! I<>ll give you a call! We should do it again
|
||||
sometime!</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>(Rachel is shocked, and holds her arms out in disbelief.)</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><b>Closing Credits</b></p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p>[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is talking on the phone.]</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p><b>Joey:</b> (on phone) Well, so anyway Beth, what I<>m saying is I should<6C>ve
|
||||
considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. I<>ve ah, I<>ve
|
||||
recently learned what<61>s it like to be on your side of it, and I<>m sorry. So, do
|
||||
you think you can forgive me? (listens) Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. (He sits down and
|
||||
crosses out something, and dials the phone again.) Hello, Jennifer? (listens) Oh hi, Mrs.
|
||||
Loreo, is Jennifer there? (listens) Oh, she<68>s not home huh? (listens) Well ah,
|
||||
actually I kinda need to talk to you too.</p>
|
||||
|
||||
<p align="center"><b>End</b></p>
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
</body></html>
|
Reference in New Issue
Block a user